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-Toa Lhikevikk-

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Blog Entries posted by -Toa Lhikevikk-

  2. -Toa Lhikevikk-

    Sick

    By -Toa Lhikevikk-,

    Not really, but everyone else is.
     
    Is this some conspiracy to make all blog-owners sick? Protosteel, Waffles, Sumiki (minor sore throat), Sunburst... and a couple others, forgot exactly who.
     
    Speaking of conspiracies, please yell at me until I update the V Files. (I am such a procrastinator. )
  3. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    Been watching shows on the History Channel about him.
     
    I'm thinking he'd make a better Halloween mascot than the ficticious Count Dracula.
     
    After all, having a Forest of Blades-style garden with people impaled on the tree limbs is way creepier then simply biting people's throats.
  5. -Toa Lhikevikk-

    Daddy Longlegs

    By -Toa Lhikevikk-,

    There's a huge one on my wall and I'm looking right at it.
     
    It's cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute. =3
     
    EDIT: Oh, right, before I forget, I had a dream back in the early summer about Mata Nui joining together the prototype robot (with duct tape) and inhabiting it (behind a cardboard dressing screen). Then Sarah Palin, aided by bonesiii, wrote a book on it.
     
    Been intending to blog about it for the loooooooooooongest time. I'm not being silly, I really did have that dream. What scares me is that it was prophetic... except for the bones/Palin thing. (But who knows, it could happen as well!)
  6. -Toa Lhikevikk-

    That's Odd

    By -Toa Lhikevikk-,

    My comments come in waves of three.
     
    also two blog entries 30 minutes apart waaht
     
    And in accordance with the title, lemme tell you a story.
     
    There was a couple you had a baby.
     
    RANDOM BYSTANDER:
     
    Good timing. Anyway, they named the baby Odd. When the nurse heard this, she laughed right in the mother's face, and so began Odd's... odd... life.
     
    When he grew older, he hated his name. No girl would date him, no boy would hang out with him, and the only jobs he could get were... well, you can guess. Odd jobs.
     
    Well, he finally found a woman who would marry him (named Norma, oddly enough) and finally found a good job, so one day he said:
     
    ODD: I hate my name! My life is ruined because of it! On my tombstone, I want just a birth date and a death date and that's it! No name on it!
     
    NORMA: kk
     
    So he died and was buried, and Norma gave him his wish.
     
    But he overlooked one detail: Whenever someone passed his tomb, they saw no name and would say...
     
    PASSERBY: No name? That's odd. [walks away]
     
    MORAL: Don't get buried.
     
    THE END
     
    (it may be a true story, but I named his wife Norma for extra irony)
  8. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    "I Am My Own Grandpa" by Ray Stevens
     
    Many, many years ago
    When I was twenty three
    I got married to a widow
    Pretty as could be.
     
    This widow had a grown up daughter
    With flowing hair of red,
    My father fell in love with her
    And soon the two were wed.
     
    This made my dad my son-in-law
    And changed my very life.
    Now my daughter was my mother,
    For she was my father's wife.
     
    To complicate the matters worse
    Although it brought me joy,
    I soon became the father
    Of a bouncing baby boy.
     
    My little baby then became
    A brother-in-law to dad,
    And so became my uncle,
    Though it made me very sad.
     
    For if he was my uncle,
    Then that also made him brother
    To the widow's grown up daughter,
    Who of course was my step-mother.
     
    Father's wife then had a son
    Who kept them on the run,
    And he became my grandson
    For he was my daughter's son.
     
    My wife is now my mother's mother
    And it makes me blue.
    Because although she is my wife,
    She's now my grandma too.
     
    If my wife is my grandmother,
    Then I am her grandchild.
    And every time I think of it
    It simply drives me wild.
     
    For now I have become
    The strangest case you ever saw,
    As the husband of my grandmother,
    I am my own grandpa!

  11. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    {copy-pasted from comment in Nuju Metru's blog}
     
    I don't have any problems. That's what I've convinced myself, at least.
     
    The problems are only there if you think they're there. Take gravity. It's a problem if you want to fly, right?
     
    So, stop believing in gravity, and it stops existing!
     
    I CAN FLY!! 8D
     
    [jumps out window]
  12. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    You can be "kewl" and "awsum" without breaking BZP rules! NO LEET REQUIRED! 8D (Since, as any regular fans of my blog would know, only Bink is worthy of that language.)
     
    All you need is one lowercase n, two uppercase O's, and one lowercase b, and BAM, you're a nOOb! 8D
     
    So now you can enjoy nOObishness in it's full extent... without losing proto!
     
     

    ~~~THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE LHIKEVIKK SOCIETY FOR A STUPIDER INTERNET~~~
  15. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    (I'd do Michael Jackson and Ted Kennedy but we've got every other tabloid to cover them anyway.)
     
    The V Report: The W. "B." Mays Casefile
    Compiled by: Matthew W. w/ info gathered by Andrew T. and Joseph C.
    Date/Time/Location of incident: 7:45 AM, 28/06/09, Tampa, Florida
    Type of incident: Unexplained Death
     
    According to news reports, William Darrel "Billy" Mays, Jr. died of heart disease on June 28, 2009. But according to Billy Mays fact #98,725, Mays had no heart. He had a Tesla resonator. Instantly suspicious...
     
    Mays was an OxiClean salesman. Now, OxiClean HAS THE POWER TO REMOVE THE TOUGHEST STAINS FROM CARPETS! CLOTHING! FURNITURE! AND MORE! BUT WAIT! CALL WITHIN THE NEXT HALF HOUR AND YOU'LL ALSO GET--
     
    Bah, if you know who we're talking about, you'd know what OxiClean is already. Some other questions need asking...
    1. How could he die of heart disease if he had no heart?
    2. Who were OxiClean's competitors?
    3. What were those crop circles on his lawn? What's that? The news didn't mention those? Hmm...
    4. Who is this "Vince Offer" person? And why is he in jail?
    5. Are there any secret messages in the OxiClean ads?
    6. What other products did he sell?
     
    Andrew T. and Joseph C. have manged to dig this info up on Vince Offer:
    -Born on April 25, 1964 in Haifa, Isreal (possibly forged, according to our investigations)
    -First seen in a "comedy" movie that you don't need to know about
    -Advertises ShamWow and the Slap Chop (ooh, that last one sounds violent)
    -Arrested for something that you also don't need to know about
    -Has a creepy smile O_O
     
    The last three just scream "alien" to you, don't they? But back to OxiClean. It would put vacuum cleaners out of business, no? We already know that the vacuum cleaner business is in cohoots with aliens to take over the world. (We will explain this in a future casefile.)
     
    We have already concluded that Vince Offer is secretly an alien posing as a human. And now for the shocker... (obtained by M.W. from an informant known onl as "Xaeraz"):

    It is also common knowledge that everything you read on the internet is true. (Unless the aliens are behind it.) Here are five very reliable facts:
    1. Under his beard, Billy Mays has no chin. Just another set of vocal cords. (Why wasn't this revealed in the autopsy?)
    2. When he was a child, Billy Mays had his tonsils removed and replaced with megaphones. (Same here.)
    3. Billy Mays doesn't have lungs. He has sub-woofers. (Again, the coroners would have mentioned this.)
    4. Billy Mays has no heart. He has a Tesla resonator. (How could he have had heart disease, then?)
    5. Archaeologists in India recently discovered a new dinosaur. It was actually a bunch of dinosaurs, but it appears that the one in the middle killed the others by yelling at them. The dinosaur was originally called Billymaysaurus, but the Indian government made the archaeologists change it, because Billy Mays cannot die.
     
    That's right, he's alive, in hiding, no doubt. I, Matthew White, have already already sent my two best agents, Andrew T. and Joseph C., in search of Mays and Offer respectively. We'll keep you posted on this mission. May the Farce be with you.
     
    LONG LIVE YOUR LAUNDRY!
     
     
     
     
  17. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    Imagine the epicness of this name-change prank (still working on who's who, kthxbai):
     
    We're no strangers to love (Electric Turahk)
    You know the rules and so do I (Zeddy)
    A full commitment's what I'm thinking of (Adventurer)
    You wouldn't get this from any other guy (Hahli Husky)
    I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
    Gotta make you understand...
     
    We've known each other for so long (Smeagol4)
    Your heart's been aching
    But you're too shy to say it (Than: Matoran of Anger)
    Inside we both know what's been going on (Taka-Tahu-Nuva)
    We know the game and we're gonna play it (Sisen)
    And if you ask me how I'm feeling...
    Don't tell me you're too blind to see (Takuta-Nui)
     
    Never gonna give you up (Black Six)
    Never gonna let you down (Toaraga)
    Never gonna run around and desert you (Master of the Rahkshi)
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye (Great Being #1)
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
     
    HALP THE STAFF ARE RICKROLLING US
     
    EDIT: ALSO 1000 VIEWS HOW CAN IT BE
  18. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    That. Is. One. Epic. Book. XD
     
    It should be required reading in school.
     
    Did you know that...
    -there once was an actual "jump into a volcano" fad on a Japanese island? People actually came to see kids throw themselves in. It was later outlawed, though.
    -a man was arrested for illegal use of a firearm when he dragged his washing machine down the stairs and shot three times it with his pistol?
    -sneezing was considered a sign of good breeding in Europe, so higher-class people would sniff things to show how superior they were?
    -the last words of singer Terry Kath were "Don't worry, it's not loaded!" (BOOM headshot)
     
    Read it. It's idiotically awesome. XD
     
  22. -Toa Lhikevikk-

    Gaem Tiem!11!1!111!

    By -Toa Lhikevikk-,

    Here's how we'll play:
     
    1. I post a word. Say... water.
    2. You post a word with the first letter of the first word being the first letter of the second word. Say... winter.
    3. The next person posts a word where the second letter of the second word is the first letter of the third word. Say... invisible.
     
    Got it?
     
    Oh, and two more rules:
     
    1. Each must be a real English word.
    2. Once you get to the say, seventeenth word, it must have at least seventeen letters to keep the game going.
     
    It's easy at first, but it'll get hard fast... oh, yes...
     
    First word: shield.
  23. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    You know the Google ads, right? That banner up there? ^^^ (You won't see it now, they don't appear in the blogs.)
     
    I saw one advertising a Twilight quiz.
     

     
    Even though I know nothing, noooooooooooooooooothing* about Twilight, it doesn't look very popular here.
     
    Beware the anti-Twilight mob that shall arise.
     
    *yay for Hogan's Heroes references
  25. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    If "the most interesting man in the world" from the Dos Equis ads is so interesting, why have I never seen/heard of him?
     
    Anywho...
     
    "He has been OBZPC twice... without losing proto."
     
    "People admire his every post... even the spammy ones."
     
    "His avatar is the most admired on BZPower... a white square."
     
    "He can sprite comics... in text form."
     
    "He has won MH&H... as a Mafia role."
     
    "He won a BBC... with a two-peice entry."
     
    He is the most interesting member of BZPower.
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