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SPIRIT

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Blog Entries posted by SPIRIT

  3. SPIRIT

    Steamed Kau

    By SPIRIT,

    Dume: Well, Vakama, I made it... despite your directions.
     
    Vakama: Ah, Turaga Dume! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for some unforgettable Kanohi!
     
    Dume: Yeah...
     
    Vakama: Oh Great Beings, my masks are ruined! But what if... I were to purchase someone else's masks and disguise them as my own crafting? Oh ho ho ho ho... magnificently Makutaish, Vakama!
     
    Dume: Vakama!
     
    Vakama: Turaga, I was just, uh... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
     
    Dume: Why is there smoke coming out of your forge, Vakama?
     
    Vakama: Uhh... no! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed Hau I'm making! Mmm... steamed Hau!
     
    Vakama: Turaga, I hope you're ready for mindblowing Kaukau!
     
    Dume: I thought you were making steamed Hau.
     
    Vakama: D'oh, no. I said steamed Kau! That's what I call Kaukau!
     
    Dume: You call Kaukau "steamed Kau?"
     
    Vakama: Yes. It's a regional dialect!
     
    Dume: Uh-huh... uh, what region?
     
    Vakama: Uhh... Metru Nui?
     
    Dume: Really? Well, I'm from Ta-Metru, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed Kau."
     
    Vakama: Oh, not in Ta-Metru, no. It's a Ga-Metru expression.
     
    Dume: I see. You know, these Kaukau are quite similar to the ones they have at Nuhrii's forge.
     
    Vakama: Oh ho ho ho... no, patented Vakama masks. Old crafting recipe.
     
    Dume: For steamed Kau?
     
    Vakama: Yes.
     
    Dume: Yes, and you call them "steamed Kau" despite the fact they are obviously injection moulded.
     
    Vakama: Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second.
     
    Dume: Of course.
     
    Vakama: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
     
    Dume: Yes, I should be- Great Spirit, what is happening in there!?
     
    Vakama: The Red Star?
     
    Dume: The Red Star!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the city, localized entirely within your forge!?
     
    Vakama: Yes!
     
    Dume: May I see it?
     
    Vakama: No.
     
    Brander: Vakama, the forge is on fire!
     
    Vakama: No, Brander—it's just the Red Star!
     
    Dume: Well, Vakama, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good Kau.
  5. SPIRIT
    I've remained silent on this issue for far too long, but I can do so no longer.
     
     
     
    While playing Fallout 4 and looking at an Achievement Guide, it was brought to my attention that some of the Achievements are mutually-exclusive to a playthrough unless you save-scum. Not only that, but other achievements are locked behind moral choices, but only if you pick a certain choice! That's not how Achievements should work!
     
    Achievements should follow these rules:
     
    1) A player must not be able to lock him or herself out of obtaining an Achievement. By the time you reach the end of the game, you should be allowed the option to return to all instances where an Achievement could have been obtained in order to reach 100% game completion. The obvious exception to this rule is games that are designed for multiple playthroughs.
     
    2) No Achievement should require the action of another human to complete. It can certainly be an option, maybe in a game with online capabilities that someone could help you get an Achievement, but that can't be the only way. Humans are unreliable and untrustworthy and making others rely on them to get Achievements is only going to result in pain.
     
    3) No more than 50% of a game's Achievements should be obtainable as part of completing the main story. No one cares about those ones! It's not "oh no, I had to work so hard to follow the neon signs down the path that the developers painstakingly designed for the lowest common denominator, I'm so glad I was rewarded for this", it's usually "oh... a consolation prize... yay..." It cheapens the Achievement brand, and it's just insulting. Sure, it can be handy to know how far you are in a game, sort of like announcing chapters in a book. However, you could just do what Half Life 1 did in the days before Achievements and just, you know, tell the player that they've advanced to the next part of the game? The only reason I could possibly see for not banning these (with the exception of an Achievement for completing the main storyline) would be so that you can check how far your friend has advanced through a game so that you can avoid spoiling what is to come next.
     
    4) No hidden or vague Achievements. I shouldn't have to look up a guide to find out what I have to do for an Achievement let alone what the Achievement is. If they're hidden to avoid spoilers, find a way to write the description of what you have to do a different way. If this is hard, try hiring better writers.
     
    5) If an Achievement requires the player to complete an action a certain number of times, there MUST be a visible counter to help the player track his or her progress. This is pretty self-explanatory. I should have to mentally tally how many times I do something or just keep doing something until I get the Achievement popup. The game is already counting for me. Why can't it just show its work? Lots of games already do this, it needs to be standard.
     
     
     
    I propose that the governments of the world sign an agreement to make a Ministry of Achievements (or Department of Achievements depending on your government's terminology) that regulates all games their country publishes. Not only will this governing body work to ensure that the 5 Commandments of Achievements are followed, but they will also work to ensure that Achievements are challenging but not impossible. Hopefully this will permit the art-form to flourish and will prevent unscrupulous game developers from releasing substandard video games.
     
    Please remember SPIRIT's 5 Commandments of Achievements the next time you're voting. Thank you.
  6. SPIRIT

    Anthropological Survey

    By SPIRIT,

    Wikipedia was unhelpful in this regard, so I bring my question to you. As a child, when you played tag, there would have been a "safe zone" that while touched prevented you from becoming It. I would like to know what term you used to name this safe zone.
     
    Personally, everyone I knew called it T (short for time-out). Wikipedia calls this "gool" or "base". What names do you know of?
  8. SPIRIT

    An Open Letter

    By SPIRIT,

    An open letter to the people who like the things that I do not like:
     
    Get over yourselves! Who do you think you are liking those things? Have you no self-respect? Have you no shame? They say there's no accounting for bad taste, but you take the cake. I bet you even took the worst flavour of cake. You have formed your opinions on incorrect or incomplete information and I lament the waste of humanity that you have become because of it.
     
     
    An open letter to the people who do not like the things that I like:
     
    What's the matter with you? Are you deaf, blind, and completely lacking of all sensory input? How could you not like those things? Did you even try them? Did you even deign to spend an instant of your precious time to gain a greater understanding of the world before retreating into the dank, enclosed prison of familiarity? It's people like you that have been a thorn in the side of true innovators and prevent society from reaching its full potential.
     
    An open letter to the people who like the things I like:
     
    Where do you get off liking the things that I like? Do you think that makes you better than me or even just as good by association? I will have you know that I like the things that I like to a much more appropriate degree than you do. Your varying amounts of interest and disinterest across a variety of subjects have been poorly allocated and your poor management of this has brought ill opinion upon me by association. Perhaps it would be best to reduce any revelations of your opinions on these matters until such time as I can verify your qualifications to do so.
     
     
    An open letter to the people who don't like the things that I don't like:
     
    Keep fighting the good fight, we'll beat them someday!
  9. SPIRIT

    Christmas is Cancelled

    By SPIRIT,

    Like so many others this year, I won't be with my family this Christmas because of the pandemic.
     
    I don't visit often, but you guys are still like an estranged family to me.  So merry Christmas everybody.
  12. SPIRIT

    Zootopia

    By SPIRIT,

    Just saw Zootopia today. Good movie. 6/6 Spirit Stars. Would recommend.
     
    I thought it was a pretty good sequel to Disney's Robin Hood, even if it makes no references to the original characters. I guess that can be forgiven since the movie takes place 800 years in the future. (Okay, it's not really a sequel, but there are a lot of similarities: the mayor's a lion, the heroes are a fox and a rabbit? It totally fits!)
     
    But yeah, there were so many Easter Eggs in that movie, it might be worth getting the DVD just for a chance to pause and catch them all.
     
    Wait a minute...
     
    A movie starring a rabbit full of Easter Eggs? You sly devils...
     
     
    The story was pretty great as well, albeit a bit predictable. I think I'm okay with that, though, because it was still a good story. Media has taught us to predict the unpredictable, but a good story is still a good story. The movie also had a really good message about tolerance, prejudice, and the plight of the white cishet male in the modern postcolonial world... or maybe it was just rehashing season 1 of The Legend of Korra. Who can say? (Cameo by J.K. Simmons, though -- it totally fits!)
     
    Also I saw the Australian version, so I was treated to David Koalabell instead of the glory that I'm sure was Peter Moosebridge. Really cool of them to make regional variants on that scene. The whole film was cool. $16 AUD well spent. I can't wait for Zootopia 2: The Rezoovenation.
     
    It's a bit strange that they would have a modern society, but keep animal-themed names for things. Judy Hopps? Zootopia? That'd be like having a human called Judy Walker or a human place called Manhattan. Oh...
     
     
    And all through out the movie, I had this weird feeling of deja vu. Futuristic city where the neighbourhoods are divided into different biomes... Now where have I seen that before?
  13. SPIRIT
    Simple enough entry. Should I re-post my old content?
     
    Is that the done thing? Is this hip and with it? Is that what all the kids are doing?
     
    Obviously, I've got a few things that a probably best left in the mists of Internet obscurity, but I've got a fair bit of content that I'm still pretty proud of. Tell you what, if people request it, I'll re-post it.
     
    Incidentally, if anyone happens to have an archived copy of chapters 14 onwards of the spoof I did of The Legend Reborn, I would be eternally grateful if you could send that my way.
     
     
    tl;dr What old content (if any) should I re-post and does anyone have a copy of The Awesomest TLR Spoof?
  14. SPIRIT
    Billions of dollars every year are spent on marketing and advertising to manufacture desire and to tell people what they should want.
     
    This system has failed me.
     
    I don't know what I want for Christmas!
     
     
    The ultimate of first world problems, yet a problem I have nonetheless.
     
    Got any ideas? My family is already doing the "buy farm animals for people in third world countries" thing, and I could ask for gift cards, but that feels super lame.
     
    What are you guys asking for? Maybe something will pique my interest.
  15. SPIRIT
    The United States and other countries constantly ridicule Canada for not having as large a military as them. However, we have reasons for this.
     
    Canada has a military base in the most northern settlement in the world: Alert, Nunavut. Why? We've seen enough Christmas specials to know that Christmas is ALWAYS in danger of being cancelled. Let's see the Grinch get past the full force of the Secret Canadian Special Forces, though.
     
    You can thank us when you wake up on Christmas morning and find that Santa managed to deliver your presents once again this year.
     
    Still don't believe we're protecting Santa? Then why do we get all his mail?
     

    Santa Claus North Pole
    H0H 0H0
    Canada
    It's a real address. Look it up.
     
    Merry Christmas, eh?
  16. SPIRIT

    Doppelgänger

    By SPIRIT,

    Have you ever met or seen someone who looks like, sounds like, acts like someone else you know? It's freaky, isn't it? Especially that brief moment where you suddenly realize why they were so familiar.
     
    I imagine this is how LEGO minifigs feel when they see a certain minifig face reused.
  17. SPIRIT

    GameBoy Color

    By SPIRIT,

    So long story, but I ordered a GameBoy Color game off Amazon and it just arrived today.
     
    So I popped it in and turned it on and goodness gracious me.
     
    I used to play on this? For multiple hours at a time? WITH NO BACK LIGHT?! How do I have any eyesight at all???? This screen is so absurdly tiny. A 2.32 inch display? Are you joking me?
     
    I got my GameBoy Color almost 17 years ago. I can't wait to see what gaming is like in 2034.
  18. SPIRIT
    So I was at a party a few weeks back and someone brought some cheese. I was excited because it looked very much like the Camembert cheese I had enjoyed when I spent a year in France, but when I tried some, it didn't taste quite right -- sort of dull and flavourless.
     
    Some Internet research later revealed that the cheese served at the party was Brie cheese. Brie, as it turns out, is virtually indistinguishable from Camembert, with the exception that Camembert has more flavour.
     
    That's when it hit me.
     
    I have become a cheese snob.
     
    I have become THAT guy.
     
     
     
    Edit: Yes, the server burped when I posted this. We've all been there before, guys.
  19. SPIRIT
    So I wanted to be a master of Pokémon, but did I have the skills to be number one? I wanted to take the ultimate step and find the courage to be bold; to risk it all and not forget the lessons that I hold. I wanted go where no one's been, far beyond the crowd, learn the way to take command and use the power that was in my hand. You see, in a sense, we all live in a Pokémon world.
     
    Because everybody wants to be a master, everybody wants to show their skills, everybody wants to get there faster, make their way to the top of the hill. Each time you try, gonna get just a little bit better and each step you climb is one more step up the ladder.
     
    Deep down inside, I have always felt that my whole life has led to this, that it was time to test my skills. I knew I just couldn't miss, that I was going to show the world.
     
    And so when I finalized my team and entered the Battle Chateau, I knew that there was no time to question my moves. I had to stick to the path that I choose. My friends and I were going to do it right, and you would never see us run away from a fight. To be the master was my dream, and all I had to do was believe.
     
    When I got Pokémon Yellow for my 10th birthday, I was just a kid from Pallet Town with a brand new world to see. I didn't know what was ahead, but it wouldn't get the best of me. There was so much to learn and battles to be won. I've advanced so far but still there's always more to come.
     
    Now, every trainer has a choice to listen to that voice inside. I knew the battle might be long, winners may have come and gone, but
    I was going to carry on!
     
    Facing so many NPC trainers made it feel like I was walking down this endless highway, with nothing but my friends beside me. But we would never give in, we would never rest. These battles were the ultimate test.
     
    And as they say, it's a battle, win or lose. It's the friends you make, it's the road you choose. I had the right stuff, and I made my mind up to find the courage inside myself.
     
    And really, Pokémon is it's all about the challenges. Each time it's a brand new game and a brand new world, with new rivals as you fight for survival.
     
    I was on a road, far from home, but I didn't have to feel alone.
     
    And uh
     
    Okay, I didn't really watch the show past this point.
     
    But yeah.
     
    I FREAKING DID IT!!
     
    I defeated Nita, Evelyn, Dana, and Morgan in 50 consecutive battles. They have built statues in my honour and I am the Hoenn Region's undisputed Pokémon Champion.
     
    The Triple Battle was by far the most difficult for me, but in the end I managed to push through with an unstoppable wall of Rhyperior, Eelektross, and Electivre, supported by Dragonite, Mega Aggron, and Vaporeon. The secret to these things is just to fill your team with tanks and take each and every hit on the chin.
     
    Now, beating Dana is nice and all, but the game was not willing to give up the victory without a fight.
     
    If you've done any of the Battle Tower, etc. style battles, you'll know that randomly you can get trainers near the end who use legendary Pokémon. It's totally random, though. Sometimes you don't get any. Sometimes you only get one.
     
    SOMETIMES YOU GET THREE
     
    AND SOMETIMES YOU GET HIT BY FREEZE HAX TWICE
     
    But I still came out on top.
     
    It feels so incredibly good.
     
     
     
     
    And now to wait patiently for Sun and Moon so I can do it all again.
  21. SPIRIT
    The Jazziest JtO Spoof
     
     
    Yep, I said to myself. "SPIRIT, m'boy, it's high time you write this thing. Bionicle may be dead, but the people need you one last time!"
     
    Then I got very busy in real life.
     
    Then I caught a cold.
     
     
    So uh... chapter 2 is half done and will be released... soon... ish... *blows nose and downs more cold medication*
     
     
     
    Here's an excerpt:
     
    (Flashback to 2014...)
     
    President Lego: So that's the plan. We're bringing back Bionicle next year. Are you in?
     
    Pohatu: I am so totally in! What would Bionicle be without the bestselling Toa of all time?
     
    President Lego: Bestselling Toa? Oh wow, you're actually serious. Yikes.
     
    Pohatu:
     
    President Lego: Look, just drop off your bio on Merlin's desk and wait for us to send you the script.
     
    Pohatu: Aw man, I've gotta spice up my bio. Now what's cool, tough, and exciting? Hmm... I've got it. Australian Batman. I am a genius. No one will be upset by this at all.
  22. SPIRIT

    Musings of an old man

    By SPIRIT,

    So let me start my story like any old man with an anecdote that doesn't really go anywhere.
    I was trawling through my old blog entries trying to find out when I got Pokemon Diamond. I'm playing Brilliant Diamond and I wanted to see if I wrote down anything about my initial playthrough of the game. Turns out, 17 year old me did not see that as something worth recording.
    Instead I seemed to be a little full of myself. A lot of the blog entries from that time are about my own fame and power on BZP, which in the hindsight of old age looks a bit sad and pathetic. Yeah, I definitely played it up a bit for laughs, but I have to confess that there was a bit of truth behind that.
    It's hard when you're seventeen and you have all these hopes and aspirations. At school, you're just a regular person, but on the internet, hey, you just make some funny Flash videos and write some silly movie parodies and suddenly you're someone special. Of course it would go to your head, you're still a kid. What do you know about power or fame? How could you possibly use those things responsibly? I wasn't even that powerful or famous. Imagine if I were a real celebrity! Yowza...
    For the most part, I guess I was well-liked. Certainly if I go onto Bionicle Discord communities, people tell me they have fond memories of some of the things I've done. So maybe I'm overthinking it, maybe this is just the imposter syndrome that we all have to face in adulthood.
    And things could absolutely be worse. You hear all sorts of stories about people who use their power and  influence to abuse and control vulnerable people. I definitely never did anything like that. I just made some blog posts that aged poorly.
    I don't think I'm a bad person now or that I was a bad person before, I just think it's interesting how my values shifted as I got older. Right now I am 31. I run my own business where I give children speech therapy.  “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” That's my new aim in life: to help make other people feel good, not just myself. My power and influence speaks for itself, I don't have to brag about it on the internet, even as a joke.
    Thank you for reading this. I hope you managed to grow beyond the person you were at seventeen too.
  23. SPIRIT

    The Facts

    By SPIRIT,

    So I've been compiling some information, and I think I've stumbled upon something big.
    Even for someone working at a Lego design shop, Swert has an inexplicably extensive access to Bohrok-Kal parts
    Swert recently acquired a WMKK
    Swert is obsessed with the Nuva Cube
    Swert's OC's element is Gravity
    Swert is a known associate of the voice of Gahdok
    Swert himself is the voice of Tahnok

    Quite obviously the Swert you know is none other than Swert-Kal!
     
    WAKE UP, MAHIPLE!
  24. SPIRIT

    Sidorak

    By SPIRIT,

    Did you ever hear the tragedy of King Sidorak the Wise?
     
    I thought not. It's not a story the Toa would tell you. It's a Brotherhood legend. Sidorak was a King of the Visorak Horde, so powerful and so wise he could use his Herding Blade to influence the Visorak to steal life... He had such a knowledge of the Visorak that he could even keep the ones he cared about from Keetongu...
     
    The Brotherhood of Makuta is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural...
     
    He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his queen everything he knew, then his queen killed him with Keetongu. Ironic, he could save others from Keetongu, but not himself.
  25. SPIRIT
    As of Tuesday September 29th 2015 at 11:29 AEST. I DO give Facebook, or any entities associated with Facebook, permission to use my pictures, information, or posts, both past and future. By this statement I give notice to Facebook that it is strictly encouraged to disclose, copy, distribute, or take any other action against me based on this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can't be punished by law (not even you, UCC 1-308-11 308-103 or Rome statute). NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity. All members should stop posting notes like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish this statement at least once nothing will happen to your photos, as well as information contained in the profile status updates. OR YOU CAN SHARE. You CAN copy and paste to make this your status.
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