25K Now! Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 I always refer to my fellow CCC Reviewer as Fishy. Quote http://vimeo.com/198967785 BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a goose Posted May 4, 2012 Author Share Posted May 4, 2012 Um... okay then...The next chapter should be up later, folks! It's good to be back. http://www.bzpower.com/board/public/style_emoticons/default/cool.png Quote [BZPRPG PROFILES] Nikarra - Kaelynn - Ronan - Muir - Donal - Aerus - Montague - Kira - Koura - Learu - Alteora - Fuacht - Caana - Nessen - Merrill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wotz Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 *Girly shriek of terror*He's not talking double figures!That was a dialogue triumph. Although, what I don't understand is why Incommodo didn't get Frustro to give him the info on Reich earlier?Also, the Marendar fight was a bit... Dull. No offence. It kind of reminded me of the final battle of Shadows, in a bad way.But Reich is definitely a lot more likable in this universe, so he made up for it. And no Arkrak dialogue? Not even a one-liner about Marendar being ugly? *Sigh*Yeah, I feel you're kind of holding back in this chapter. Quote D U N E W O L F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a goose Posted May 4, 2012 Author Share Posted May 4, 2012 That was one of the first lines for this I thought of. When I imagined teaser trailers, they always ended with the 'DARK MIRROR: PART I', and the words 'Your days are numbered, Incommodo', before switching to Reich's face for the 'double figures' part.And Incommodo didn't see Reich as that much of a threat before.I understand it was dull. It was more something I needed to get out of the way; an important part of the plot, but not THE plot. Also, for reasons that will later become clear, I had to keep the fight short.I can't help but hold back on Arky dialogue ATM. He'll be very important in the next chapter, though...The FINAL chapter. *DRAMATIC MUSIC* Quote [BZPRPG PROFILES] Nikarra - Kaelynn - Ronan - Muir - Donal - Aerus - Montague - Kira - Koura - Learu - Alteora - Fuacht - Caana - Nessen - Merrill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wotz Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 You might say it's...The final problem!Huh? Huh? Quote D U N E W O L F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a goose Posted May 4, 2012 Author Share Posted May 4, 2012 I already made a reference to The Final Problem. Also, you should enjoy it. It will be a very good chapter. Quote [BZPRPG PROFILES] Nikarra - Kaelynn - Ronan - Muir - Donal - Aerus - Montague - Kira - Koura - Learu - Alteora - Fuacht - Caana - Nessen - Merrill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Archaic Predicament Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 I suddenly feel like there's gonna be a very 'Doctor Who-y' cliffhanger ending... Might just be me though Quote Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a goose Posted May 5, 2012 Author Share Posted May 5, 2012 Oh, I promise you all that it definitely won't be a cliff-HANGER. Quote [BZPRPG PROFILES] Nikarra - Kaelynn - Ronan - Muir - Donal - Aerus - Montague - Kira - Koura - Learu - Alteora - Fuacht - Caana - Nessen - Merrill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wotz Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 ...But a cliff-faller The ultimate Sherlock Holmes reference. I have to admit I saw that coming from when Inc received the note, but you expected me too, nonetheless.However, it wasn't clear whether Reich was involved with the voices in Inc's head, and I guess that too was intentional?I liked how the Matoran actually thinks their working together instead of what we know to be true. Nice use of dramatic irony there. Quote D U N E W O L F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a goose Posted May 5, 2012 Author Share Posted May 5, 2012 I was planning that joke. XDI expected everyone to.No spoilers, Wotz. But now, we've seen that survival may not be quite what those voices have in mind...Thankyou. Told you Elax would end up an antagonist. XD Quote [BZPRPG PROFILES] Nikarra - Kaelynn - Ronan - Muir - Donal - Aerus - Montague - Kira - Koura - Learu - Alteora - Fuacht - Caana - Nessen - Merrill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Archaic Predicament Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 Wow... Just wow... Any hint on how soon we can expect Part II? Quote Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25K Now! Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Inc is obviously going to live. Because he has plot armour as the main character. Quote http://vimeo.com/198967785 BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a goose Posted May 6, 2012 Author Share Posted May 6, 2012 I am saying nothing.But, hey, I'll be smashing the plot armour to pieces in the the prologue. One of the protagonists WILL die. Quote [BZPRPG PROFILES] Nikarra - Kaelynn - Ronan - Muir - Donal - Aerus - Montague - Kira - Koura - Learu - Alteora - Fuacht - Caana - Nessen - Merrill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishers64 Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 (edited) I always refer to my fellow CCC Reviewer as Fishy.That's news to me. :PAnyway, have to agree with all those who disliked the Marendar battle. That was too easy. Way too easy. You definately could have made the countdown thing more dramatic and suspenseful. Nice twist with Frustro and the ending thereof. Although the sudden mention of the explosionist as a Le-Matoran was rather random. And now I will scramble over to Part II and see what you've got. Edited May 21, 2012 by fishers64 Quote Hero Factory RPG | Bionicle Mafia XXIX: Storyline & Theories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a goose Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 Not to me.I'm in that group, too. XDThankyou (Frustro is Latin for 'to deceive', FYI). It was a Toa of Air, and he did appear earlier on. In fact, he tried to stop Les and Frustro leaving not long before the explosion, if I remember correctly.Part II is exceptionally different to Part I, except it explains why what is happening is happening and some character backstory. (It's my way of fixing that 'random backstory' thing from Shadows that you mentioned) Quote [BZPRPG PROFILES] Nikarra - Kaelynn - Ronan - Muir - Donal - Aerus - Montague - Kira - Koura - Learu - Alteora - Fuacht - Caana - Nessen - Merrill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishers64 Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Not to me.I'm in that group, too. XDThankyou (Frustro is Latin for 'to deceive', FYI). It was a Toa of Air, and he did appear earlier on. In fact, he tried to stop Les and Frustro leaving not long before the explosion, if I remember correctly.Part II is exceptionally different to Part I, except it explains why what is happening is happening and some character backstory. (It's my way of fixing that 'random backstory' thing from Shadows that you mentioned)Yeah, I saw the two posts above that one referring to the comment I quoted. I guess I'll just have to tolerate it. The "Toa of Air" thing was probably a symptom of the time gap between me reading the beginning of this and the end. The details of this slip past me easily. Glad you are resolving the "random backstory" thing from Shadows - although it is late, your resolution is impressive, as evidenced by the comments you have already seen on it. Quote Hero Factory RPG | Bionicle Mafia XXIX: Storyline & Theories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a goose Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 Not to me.I'm in that group, too. XDThankyou (Frustro is Latin for 'to deceive', FYI). It was a Toa of Air, and he did appear earlier on. In fact, he tried to stop Les and Frustro leaving not long before the explosion, if I remember correctly.Part II is exceptionally different to Part I, except it explains why what is happening is happening and some character backstory. (It's my way of fixing that 'random backstory' thing from Shadows that you mentioned)Yeah, I saw the two posts above that one referring to the comment I quoted. I guess I'll just have to tolerate it.The "Toa of Air" thing was probably a symptom of the time gap between me reading the beginning of this and the end. The details of this slip past me easily. Glad you are resolving the "random backstory" thing from Shadows - although it is late, your resolution is impressive, as evidenced by the comments you have already seen on it.Yup.Thankyou. Quote [BZPRPG PROFILES] Nikarra - Kaelynn - Ronan - Muir - Donal - Aerus - Montague - Kira - Koura - Learu - Alteora - Fuacht - Caana - Nessen - Merrill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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