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The Bionicles Try To Run A Mansion


MT Zehvor

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Also, I forgot to buh mention this earlier, but do you still buh need someone for that buh Japanese stuff from buh page 1?

You're not fooling anyone, Omega. We all know you don't speak anything besides halfway broken English. :P

 

I actually managed to get it sorted out earlier. Capcom was nice enough to port the pre-order to other sites that have a much more American-friendly shipping system.

 

Though while you're offering...if you ever feel like translating the entirety of the second Miles Edgeworth game that was never brought to America...feel free to.

 

Chapter 17 was just golden. Everything about it was fantastic. Some standouts were the alternatives to Stormer's name, Pridak's uncaring attitude towards the others' well-being, and Von Nebula's dialogue and laughter.

Looking back on it...I started writing in Von Nebula for Von Black Hole...

 

Ack. I must be slipping.

 

 

 

I actually thought Tahu ate Von Nebula :blink: .... fail. Great work! with the latest chapters!

I did too for a minute.

 

I think any appetite that Tahu might have would top out at around 2 ounces of plastic or so. :P

 

Thanks for the review, by the way! Glad you enjoyed it.

 

-MT

 

Well, I don't know Japanese, but my brother is pretty much fluent.

:a: :r: :z: :a: :k: :i:

I got Monster Hunter World on PS4, add me at bmrjw2 if you want

Also I play FFXIV, my main is Anastasia Willow on Exodus but I've got characters on every NA datacenter.

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It's certainly not a request I would make lightly. All of the Ace Attorney games have a ton of dialogue, so it'd be a multi month process, if not more. Plenty of dedicated teams have gotten hung up on translating it in the past, so it's certainly a chore.

 

If you really think it's worth giving a shot, just search for videos of "Gyakuten Kenji 2." You can find the Japanese version completely uploaded on the internet. If you somehow manage to do it...you'll definitely have my undying respect. :P

 

-MT

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It's certainly not a request I would make lightly. All of the Ace Attorney games have a ton of dialogue, so it'd be a multi month process, if not more. Plenty of dedicated teams have gotten hung up on translating it in the past, so it's certainly a chore.

 

If you really think it's worth giving a shot, just search for videos of "Gyakuten Kenji 2." You can find the Japanese version completely uploaded on the internet. If you somehow manage to do it...you'll definitely have my undying respect. :P

 

-MT

Maybe.

:a: :r: :z: :a: :k: :i:

I got Monster Hunter World on PS4, add me at bmrjw2 if you want

Also I play FFXIV, my main is Anastasia Willow on Exodus but I've got characters on every NA datacenter.

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Chapter 19: Cyberwolf the Pridak Tracker

The next day, at the car wash…

Tahu: (walks inside)

Sam: Ah! You made it back!

Tahu: …yes…after all the craziness of yesterday, I don't think I would have passed on the chance to get out of that house for anything.

Sam: Hmm. Well, good news about the business, sir.

Tahu: Oh? What's that?

Sam: We made quite the profit on our first day open. Apparently, people around here really like to get their cars washed.

Tahu: Hmm. Well, who knows. We may really be able to make something off of this.

Sam: Oh, and I got rid of that annoying Turaga, too. She never actually did any work, just went on and on about how "handsome" you were.

Tahu: …that's…er…a very wise decision.

Sam: At any rate, that's the good news. Now here's the bad news…

Tahu: …uh oh.

Sam: The tax rate in Hawaii is quite high, sir, so we'll be losing a fair bit of the income we've earned.

Tahu: …

Sam: There are, however, a few alternatives to this situation.

Tahu: …hmm. Let's hear them, then.

Sam: …first…you could raid the state capitol and hold the legislators hostage until they agree to lower corporate and income tax rates.

Tahu: …

Sam: You could refuse to pay any taxes and wage war against the local police.

Tahu: …

Sam: …or you could go through a complicated series of banking maneuvers and transfer your income to various Swiss banks, where they won't be taxed as heavily.

Tahu: …ah…er…I'll go with the third option. What's a little extra work to avoid all out warfare?

Sam: Hmm. And here I thought violence was your preferred method of solving disputes.

Tahu: …

Sam: At any rate, we can get started on that now. Mario can take care of washing the cars while we're gone.

Tahu: …Mario?

Sam: Yeah. Some guy who came in here desperate for help. Said he'd been enslaved by a Barraki or something and was looking for a place to hide. I told 'em I'd let him stay here if he'd wash cars.

Tahu: …right. Well, let's get started then.

Meanwhile, back at the mansion…

Pridak: …whoa…what's this thingy?

Avak: Ah. You like, huh?

Pridak: …it…um…sure. What is it?

Avak: This is Cyberwolf. Shake, boy.

Cyberwolf: (sticks his paw out)

Pridak: …good to meet you again…man eating robotic dog…

Cyberwolf: The feeling is mutual.

Avak: …meet…again?

Pridak: Yeah. I ran into this guy back when he was trying to eat Xplode. I ended up tackling him off and saving that silly red spiky thing. It's a decision I regret making, in hindsight.

Avak: Ah. Well, I took him and reprogrammed him to be much friendlier. He'll help out with defending the house against any Hero Factory invaders in the future.

Pridak: …so what you're saying is that he's got the same amount of friendliness…just the people he shows it to are now different.

Avak: …well…I don't think he was particularly friendly to anyone beforehand…maybe he's just much more discriminatory now.

Pridak: Hmm. In that case, I congratulate for for spreading prejudice.

Avak: …

Pridak: …hope you can live with yourself now.

Avak: …somehow…I didn't think that making a robot friendlier would ever turn me into a terrible person.

Pridak: Life's funny like that.

Cyberwolf: At any rate, I detected no attempts at unauthorized entry last night. The mansion was undisturbed.

Pridak: …so he's a guard dog.

Avak: Yeah. He watches the entrance to the house each night, and since he's a robot, we can overwork him as much as necessary.

Cyberwolf: With regularly scheduled maintenance, yes.

Avak: …er…yeah.

Pridak: Hmm. Well, that's good. I can rest easy at night knowing that no Hero Factory sets will invade the house and take me away.

Avak: …

Pridak: …anyways, I stopped by to ask if you…or your dog…knew where Samus was.

Avak: Hmm? Why?

Pridak: Oh…no reason. Just…wondering, is all.

Avak: …Tahu got mad at her for snapping several of Master Chief's limbs…I think she retreated to a nearby coffee until he cools down.

Pridak: …so…in other words…she's not here?

Avak: …yes…why?

Pridak: :evilgrin: …oh…no reason…anyways…I've, uh…got something to look for now…

Avak: …

Pridak: Bye! (runs off into the next room)

Avak: …

Cyberwolf: …I sense the potential for danger here.

Avak: I do as well.

Cyberwolf: I will go keep watch over him and ensure that he doesn't cause trouble.

Avak: Likely a wise idea.

Meanwhile, elsewhere…

Xplode: …hmm…

Evo: What is it?

Xplode: Well, it's just…this place looks so similar to the mansion that we used to live in.

Evo: …you're right…it does, now that you mention it.

Nex: ….well…it could be pretty similar…sometimes, companies re-use the same construction plan when building multiple houses.

Evo: Yeah, but…that's only when they're building houses out for the same neighborhood.

Nex: …

Evo: …

Xplode: …then…what does that mean?

Nex: …it means…

Evo: …

Nex: …obviously…that we're in an ALTERNATE DIMENSION IN THE SAME MANSION.

Evo: …

Xplode: …

Nex: …I haven't really gotten a lot of sleep lately…

Xplode: Yeah…perhaps we should fix that.

-MT

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  • 4 weeks later...

Sorry about the wait time once again. Pretty short chappy here...but it's more of a quick thing to explain stuff leading into the next twenty chapters.

 

 

Chapter 20: War Begins

Xplode: So…in other words…you're saying that we live right across the street from the Bionicles.

Ghirardelli: That's exactly it.

Xplode: …guess I really can't get away from these guys, can I?

Ghirardelli: No…not until you defeat them, that is.

Evo: …defeat them?

Ghirardelli: They abandoned you…now…you are no longer part of the Bionicles.

Xplode: …

Ghirardelli: …now…you are Hero Factory.

Nex: I was kind of a Hero Factory set before.

Ghirardelli: …and as Hero Factory…you do not leave any Bionicles alive.

Evo: …none?

Ghirardelli: None. Not a single one. At all.

Evo: …are you sure?

Ghirardelli: Positive.

Evo: …well…ok…

*WHACK!*

Ghirardelli: Ow! Hey! What the-?!

Evo: You said not a single one alive…and…well…you are…

Ghirardelli: …I meant in the HOUSE!

Xplode: …well…this war is shaping up to be an extremely successful one…

Meanwhile, at the mansion…

Avak: …so…no word yet from Xplode, Nex, or Evo?

Zaktan: None. They've been gone for…a full day now…and no one has any clue as to where they are.

Avak: …hmm. Well…sets have been missing for longer than this. Maybe they got really upset and just left.

Zaktan: Xplode?

Avak: …yeah…he's a bit too logical for that.

Zaktan: …well…maybe they'll come home eventually. One can only hope at this point.

Avak: Yep…I suppose so.

Zaktan: …

Avak: …though…if Evo and Nex don't come home…

Zaktan: …yes…?

Avak: Does that mean I can inherit some of the wiring in the household and make something cool with it?

Zaktan: No. The rest of us use that wiring too.

Avak: …fine.

Elsewhere…

Samus: …hey Omega.

Omega Turtle: Buh hi.

Samus: …been a while since you've been on a computer.

Omega Turtle: Oh, well…buh yeah.

Samus: What are you doing?

Omega Turtle: Just some buh stuff. That's all.

Samus: …stuff?

Omega Turtle: Buh yeah. Here…take a buh look.

Samus: …these are…eBay auctions?

Omega Turtle: Yep.

Samus: …

Omega Turtle: Well…long story short…we're running low on people in this buh Mansion, and even lower now that buh Xplode and Nexvo are gone…I decided to buy some more buh friends.

Samus: …friends?

Omega Turtle: Buh yeah.

Samus: …and…what exactly would these friends be?

Omega Turtle: Here. Take a buh look at the image from the auction.

Samus: (climbs up onto the desk and looks at the computer screen)

v8b3rlo5duq30bifkg.png

Samus: …mother of…

TO BE CONTINUED…

-MT

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  • 2 weeks later...

Many things.

Chapter 21: Preparations for the Fight

A few days later…

Tahu: …hmm…

Zaktan: (walks into the dining room) Hey Tahu. Hey Omega.

Tahu: …oh…hey, Zaktan.

Omega Turtle: Buh hi.

Zaktan: What are you two up to?

Tahu: Trying to figure out how to free this guy from Pridak's mind control.

Zaktan: …mind control?

Tahu: Yeah. Somehow, Pridak managed to get this plush Mario thing under his control…and now we're trying to get him out of that.

Zaktan: …ah…that's, um…a problem.

Tahu: You bet.

Omega Turtle: The worst part is that Pridak buh told him to punch anyone who tries to buh free him…so he's been punching me in the buh nose for the last couple hours.

Zaktan: …why don't you just tie his hands down or something?

Tahu: We had to use all of the wire to keep those stupid Hero Factory sets locked in the closet.

Zaktan: …ah, yes…I should probably interrogate them eventually.

Tahu: …I didn't know you were much of one for interrogation.

Zaktan: Well, you know…I dabble in a few odd hobbies here and there.

Omega Turtle: …very buh creepy.

Zaktan: Yeah, well, it's better than your-

*DING DONG!*

Zaktan: …was that the doorbell?

Tahu: Sounds like the mail's here. Will you go check, Omega?

Omega Turtle: Sounds buh better than getting punched again. (leaps off the table and heads towards the door)

Tahu: …

Zaktan: …there's a few things I need to find out from those Hero Factory sets.

Tahu: …oh? And what would those be?

Zaktan: Mainly, how exactly did Von Black Hole manage to survive being stuck in a freezer for months on end…

Tahu: …

Zaktan: …

Tahu: …and…you need to know that why?

Zaktan: In case I ever get stuck in the plot of a Captain America movie and get forced to crash land a perfectly functioning plane in the snow for no reason whatsoever.

Tahu: …ah.

Zaktan: …hopefully it won't take you guys as long to dig me out as it did those silly people in the movie.

Tahu: …if, um…that happens…and we ever get enough money to afford a trip to the Arctic…and we happen to know where it is you landed…we'll be sure to send someone.

Zaktan: …that's…reassuring…I think…

Omega Turtle: (walks back into the room) Mail's here. (climbs back onto the table and drops a couple letters)

Tahu: Oh. Cool.

Omega Turtle: You may not buh think so when you read that note on the buh top.

Tahu: …the…note? Oh, here it is…hmm.

"Yur rain of terror haz gon on for logn enuf, yu evil Bonkles. Us riteshous Hero Faktory sets will reign down judgmentz on yu and maek yu pay for yur crimes. From dis point on…we r at WAR!!1eleventy one!!1!

-Ur Loving Hero Faktory Naybors."

Tahu: …

Zaktan: …

Omega Turtle: …well?

Tahu: Uh…ha ha, I guess?

Zaktan: …

Tahu: …is this serious? Are some Hero Factory with a huge grammatical disability declaring war on us?

Omega Turtle: …I don't buh know. All I found was that buh note included with the rest of the buh mail.

Tahu: This has got to be a joke. No one could possibly be this bad at writing…could they?

Zaktan: …

Omega Turtle: Read the buh back.

Tahu: …the back? Is there anything…oh.

"Aslo, the Red Sawks suckk and New Yurk is da bestest. Lolololololololol."

Tahu: …

Zaktan: …it's…a sports insult?

Tahu: Ok, that's it.

Zaktan: …huh?

Tahu: Whoever wrote this letter is asking for it. Joke or not…we are now officially…AT WAR.

Omega Turtle: Oh buh great.

Zaktan: …well…cool, I guess…though if we're really going to go to war, we could stand to have a few more fighters.

Tahu: …hmm. You're right on that account. I guess we'll have to go look for some new guys on eBay-

Omega Turtle: Don't buh worry about that.

Tahu: …huh?

Omega Turtle: …I had a special buh package ordered just for something like buh this.

Tahu: …you…you did?

Omega Turtle: Buh yep.

Tahu: …

Omega Turtle: And buh reinforcements will be arriving…any buh day now…

Meanwhile, in the back of a delivery truck…

Package: (muffled incomprehensible squealing noises)

And at the Hero Factory House across the street…

Evo: …hey…Xplode?

Xplode: Hmm?

Evo: Did you load the lava launchers?

Xplode: Yep. We're all set to go.

Evo: Great. I'll let Ghirardelli know, and then we'll be ready to strike out against those Bionicles!

Xplode: …yep…can't wait.

Voice: Yeah, neither can I.

Xplode: (turns around and notices Furno 4.0 standing there) Ah. Furno.

Furno: Hey there.

Evo: …er…um…I think I'll be going…before the inevitable fight breaks out. Bye! (disappears down the hall)

Xplode: …what do you want?

Furno: I just came here to say…I think we got started off on the wrong foot.

Xplode: …that would be an understatement.

Furno: Let's put the past behind us, old buddy. We're all friends here now. If you're willing to forget that fight we got into back there…I'll forget it too.

Xplode: …you tied me up to a chair, tortured my friends, and then tried to beat me up…and now you're asking me to suddenly forget all that?

Furno: …

Xplode: …I'm willing to set aside our differences to deal with the Bionicles first…but once we're through with them…you and I are going to have a little talk.

Furno: …how about I throw in a steak dinner, too?

Xplode: …

Furno: …

Xplode: …you know…I think maybe we can be friends after all. What kind of steak is it?

Furno: …uh…er…um…whatever kind you want?

Xplode: Famous last words by many a wallet.

Furno: …oh boy.

To be continued…

-MT

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Furno: …uh…er…um…whatever kind you want?

Xplode: Famous last words by many a wallet.

Furno: …oh boy.

Best quote ever.

-Rahkshi Guurahk
GENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

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(This banner is created by http://www.bzpower.com/board/user/59020-onaku/ )

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Waitwaitwait

 

Xplode and Pridak aren't a thing anymore? Are you trying to tell me the most dynamite, ninja style kick butt awesome team in the universe is now at war with itself?

 

This is not cool. Xplode is clearly going to end up being a secret agent for the Bonkles.

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Chapter 19 was pretty fantastic. Loved Sam and Tahu's conversation at the start, as well as Cyberwolf. Hilarity all around.

 

Chapter 20 was great, as well. I was reading through it as per usual, chuckling here and there, but when I saw the Pikimin I cracked up. XD

 

Chapter 21 was excellent. The initial conversation, note included, was golden. I can't believe Omega is seriously going to use Pikimin as reinforcements. XD

 

I also loved how easily XPlode was won over when a steak dinner was mentioned.

 

Good work and such.

 

-Mesonak

The Three Virtues YouTube Channel

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Check it out for laughs, discussion, and more.

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@Meso: Steak dinners are hard to resist, man.

@iBrow: Well...they're still a thing...it's just less frienemies and more straight up enemies.

@RG: Yes...yes it is. :P

Also, if anyone has the time, could I humbly request a vote for the #5 entry in this poll here? It's made by a friend of mine, and he could use all the support he can get. Thanks!

Chapter 22: An Army In Wait

At the Hero Factory House…

Furno: …still no word from them?

Stormer: None. They've gone completely dark.

Furno: …hmm.

Stormer: …at this point, I'd almost say it's a lost cause.

Furno: It's not a lost cause yet.

Stormer: But…if they're all the way over there…and they haven't responded at all.

Furno: They're not dead yet. Thus declares the Furno. Now stop worrying about it.

Stormer: …yes…sir…

Furno: …no…we just need to send out a special reconnaissance team. Mission…bring back our lost brothers.

Stormer: …a recon team? Made up of who?

Furno: Of some of our most deadly operatives…such as…Breez…4.0…

Breez: The return to regular green technic pieces didn't go so well for my image after all.

Furno: …Rocka 4.0…

Rocka: Rockin' the Rock of Rocks with a Rock! That's the Rocka way.

Furno: …Aquagon…

Aquagon: They call me the Michael Phelps of the Lego world…because I eat Subway and kind of look like him.

Furno: And lastly…Vapour…

Vapour: …roar.

Stormer: …wasn't that, like…a really old set from back in 2010?

Furno: Nope.

Stormer: …I'm pretty sure it-

Furno: No.

Stormer: …but-

Furno: NO.

Stormer: …

Furno: …

Stormer: …

Furno: …now then…recon team…move out! And save our friends from wherever they may be being held!

Meanwhile, in a very dark closet somewhere…

Von Black Hole: …hmm…zzz…wha…huh? What? Where am I?

Voice: MMMM!!!

Von Black Hole: …and why am I stuffed inside this…thing? What the heck? Who did this?!

Ogrum: That's a sock, and we're all stuck inside them.

Von Black Hole: …a sock?

Pyrox: It appears we are being held hostage.

Von Black Hole: …what?! I just got out of being stuck in a freezer! This is ridiculous! Let me out of here now!

Voice: …that…is not going to happen.

Von Black Hole: …who said that?

Voice: I did.

Von Black Hole: …that doesn't really tell me who.

Voice: The name is Zaktan. You tried to kill me, remember?

Von Black Hole: …oh…er…right…Zaktan, old buddy.

*KICK!*

Von Black Hole: OW!

Zaktan: I'm not your buddy.

Von Black Hole: All right…easy…easy…just trying to be friends.

Zaktan: …usually…when someone wants to be friends…they don't try to KILL them.

Von Black Hole: …well…er…you know what they always say…you only hurt the ones you love!

Zaktan: Well, in that case, allow me to demonstrate my incredible love for you.

*KICK!*

Von Black Hole: Ow!

*WHACK!*

Von Black Hole: OW!

*BAM!*

Von Black Hole: OWWWWW!!

Zaktan: …feel loved yet?

Von Black Hole: …if soreness is a sign of love…then absolutely.

Zaktan: …excellent then. Now…let's get down to business.

Von Black Hole: …business?

Zaktan: We need to have a little talk about that mask…

Meanwhile, at the front door…

*DING-DONG!*

Omega Turtle: Is that it! Is that buh it! Is it really buh it!? (opens the door)

Postman: Here's a package for Mr…

Omega Turtle: …

Postman: …are you…a turtle?

Omega Turtle: Nope. Gimme that. Buh bye. (grabs the box and slams the door shut)

Postman: …

Inside the house…

Omega Turtle: (drags the box into the living room) Oh buh boy. I can't buh wait to get this buh started. This will be so much buh fun…we'll swarm all those silly buh Hero Factory sets and end this buh war before it even starts! (opens the box and notices five fuzzy creatures)

Creatures: …

Omega Turtle: …what the buh? Only five of them? I thought this was supposed to be a buh army!

Vezok: Hey Omega. What's up?

Omega Turtle: …oh. Buh hey, Vezok. Trying to get this buh Pikmin army to buh work.

Vezok: …Pikmin?

Omega Turtle: Buh yeah. These little…fuzzy things…I was supposed to get a buh army of them…but they only buh shipped me one of each kind.

Blue Pikmin: *undecipherable squeal*

Omega Turtle: Shut up you buh rip off.

Vezok: …hmm. Let me take a look, then. (grabs a piece of paper from inside the box)

Omega Turtle: …

Vezok: …in order to propagate the growth of your Pikmin army…slaughter various wildlife and bring it back to the enclosed Overly Nutritional Instantaneous Originating Nventor.

Omega Turtle: …

Vezok: …that looks like this thing here. (pulls a large, multicolored sphere with legs out of the box)

Omega Turtle: …so it buh does.

Vezok: …looks like you've gotta kill some animals and stuff their dead corpses inside this thing in order to get more Pikmin.

Omega Turtle: …nature is really buh violent.

Vezok: Indeed.

Omega Turtle: …welp…all buh right then…guess I've finally got a buh excuse for dealing with that annoying buh dog that lives down the road…

Vezok: …

Omega Turtle: Come on, buh Pikmin! It's time to take down some buh domesticated animals!

Pikmin: *indecipherable squeal*

-MT

Edited by MT Zehvor

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Just finished reading all 22 chapters that you've put up so far.

 

I would first like to quote a few of my favorite moments:

 

 

Cyberwolf: I have been programmed to track down and recover the ultimate power from this place. You will not interfere. (uses a chainsaw blade attached to his tail to begin drilling through the floor)

Xplode: …uh…that's kind of our floor.

Cyberwolf: …

Xplode: …we kind of care about it.

Cyberwolf: …

 

 

Mariana: Well, aren't you just the cutest thing? I have to say, I'm a bit flustered right now! It's been quite a while since I've felt this excited, hmm?

Tahu: *GAK!* I BEG your pardon!

Mariana: Oh, no need to apologize! I'm not entirely sure what the right words are either, but that's not stopping me!

Tahu: …

Mariana: Oh, dear me! I'm talking so much, I haven't even been able to properly introduce myself!

Tahu: Oh…no…that's, um…quite all right. In fact, I have a prior engagement…right now…goodbye!

Mariana: Oh, dearie! Don't worry about that!

Tahu: …DEARIE?!

Mariana: Oh, you're so handsome when you're embarrassed!

Tahu: *GAK!*

Sam: …well…it seems you two are getting along wonderfully. I'll just leave you two together!

Tahu: NO! SAM! GET BACK HERE NOW! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THIS WINDBAG ALONE!!

Mariana: Oh, sweetie!

Tahu: …AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!

Omega Turtle: Is that it! Is that buh it! Is it really buh it!? (opens the door)

Postman: Here's a package for Mr…

Omega Turtle: …

Postman: …are you…a turtle?

Omega Turtle: Nope. Gimme that. Buh bye. (grabs the box and slams the door shut)

Postman: …

 

That last one in particular was pretty good.

 

Anyway, I've enjoyed what you've posted so far. It hasn't been gut-bustingly hilarious yet, but you've earned a few chuckles from me. I think I'll keep following it and will try to reply regularly.

 

My favorite character so far is Omega Turtle, but I found Mariana funny as well, if only because she freaked Tahu out. Shame she's gone, though.

 

-TNTOS-

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

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(My Little BIONICLE: Friendship is Explosive Completed 01/05/14)

{The Shika Trilogy Omnibus Completed 03/31/14) (Review Topic)

(In the End Completed 09/01/14) (Review Topic)

The Biological Chronicle: (2001) (2002) (2003) (2004) (2005) (2006) (2007) (2008) (2009) (2010)

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Chapter 23: Safety Laws are Out

At a neighbor's house…

*Ding-Dong!*

Person: (opens the door) …hello?

Agent: YOU'RE A MONSTER WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?!?!

Person: …

Agent: …

Person: …I'm sorry, but…who are you?

Agent: *ahem* I am…an agent.

Person: …

Agent: …of the neighborhood customs enforcement agency.

Person: …customs?

Agent: Yes. You may recall that you one signed this contract about property upkeep and neighborhood conduct when you moved into this residence exactly 3 year, 10 months, and 27 days ago…

Person: …yes…

Agent: And I'm sure you'll notice here that killing domesticated animals is clearly a violation of this contract…

Person: …uh-huh…

Agent: So then, might I ask, what exactly was a car from your house doing when this photo was taken at 9:08 PM last night?!

Person: (takes a look at the photo) …it…um…appears to be a car…driving down the road?

Agent: Precisely. And look at what this car is running over.

Person: …is that…a cat?

Agent: Yes! That car, with a license plate registered to YOU, hit a cat belonging to one of this neighborhood's residents! And YOU didn't report it!

Person: …er…well, I'm sorry, but…

Agent: I don't want to hear any more about it!

Person: Wait! I didn't even go out driving last night! It was probably my daughter, and she-

Agent: Your excuses don't concern me! I'm writing you up on violation of reporting procedure, and then I'm going to-

Person: …

Agent: …are you even paying attention here?!?

Person: …what on Earth…is that?

Agent: (turns around and notices a stuffed turtle leading a group of Pikmin carrying a recently deceased dog towards the Bionicles' yard)

Pikmin: Huk huk huk huk huk!

Agent: …

Person: …

Agent: …

Person: …

Agent: …that…that…th…TOO MANY NEIGHBORHOOD SAFETY VIOLATIONS IN ONE PLACE! OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD! (faints)

*Whump!*

Person: …

Pikmin: Huk huh huh huh huh! (walk into the yard and head inside)

Person: …I think I'll go back to my coffee now…(closes his door)

Meanwhile, at the house…

Zaktan: So this mask…what power does it have, exactly?

Von Black Hole: The power of the mask shall not be disclosed to outsiders!

*KICK!*

Von Black Hole: Ow!

Zaktan: I'm officially an insider. Tell me.

Von Black Hole: All right, all right! Fine then! It's a mask that has the ultimate power!

Zaktan: What kind of ultimate power?

Von Black Hole: The ultimate kind!

*KICK!*

Von Black Hole: OW!

Zaktan: I'm not playing games with you any longer. Tell me what it is!

Von Black Hole: I don't really know! I promise!

Zaktan: Well then…if you don't really know, I'd suggest you find out quickly.

Von Black Hole: …what…what are you…

Zaktan: Because if you don't…there may be…certain consequences…

Von Black Hole: Ah! Hey! I'm trapped in a sock! There's no way I could even find out if I wanted to-

*KICK!*

Von Black Hole: OW!

Zaktan: I'll go bring you a phone to call your friends with. You'll have five minutes to get the necessary information. If you do, then you'll get to stay put in your sock.

Von Black Hole: …that doesn't sound like very good motivation…

Zaktan: Compared to what I'll do to you if you don't…it's great motivation.

Von Black Hole: …ooh.

Zaktan: I'm going now. Stay nice and cozy.

Von Black Hole: …

Meanwhile, just outside the door…

Nocturn: Ooogh…me…so…hungry…

Gadunka: Gadunka.

Nocturn: …yeah…it's been like…what…3 hours since we last ate? Ooogghh…

Gadunka: ...

Nocturn: …and now we can't get in fridge…cause Tahu lock door…ooogh…

Gadunka: Gadunka.

Nocturn: Me sad…me hungry…me…*sniff*

Zaktan: (opens the door to the closet and walks away down the hall)

Nocturn: …oogh…so…hungry…

Gadunka: (stands up straight suddenly) …Gadunka?

Nocturn: …what?

Gadunka: Gadunka Gadunka…

Nocturn: …hey…you right! He doesn't look hungry at all…!

Gadunka: Gadunka.

Nocturn: …maybe…he's got some food that he stashed away in dat closet! And he's secretly eating it!

Gadunka: Gadunka!

Nocturn: Let's check it out!

Gadunka: Gadunka.

Nocturn: (rushes into the room) Woo hoo! Look at all this food!

Gadunka: Gadunka!

Nocturn: It's all stuffed in socks, though…looks like we'll have to eating our way through them first.

Gadunka: Gadunka.

Nocturn: Oh well. Nothing like a good wool appetizer to get you ready for the main meal!

5 minutes later…

Zaktan: All right, Von Black Hole. I got the phone…now give your friends a call, and have them tell me what I want to know, or I'll-

Von Black Hole: AAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Zaktan: …

Von Black Hole: It's…it's…it's…WHAT IS IT DOING TO ME?!?!

Nocturn: *slurp slurp*

Von Black Hole: GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!! AUGH!!!

Gadunka: Gadunka.

Zaktan: …well…uh…er…hmm.

Von Black Hole: STOP! I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT THE MASK! JUST GET THESE FOOLS OFF OF MEEEEE!

Zaktan: …I had originally intended to threaten you a bit before giving you the phone…but after what seems to have happened here…I'm not sure I can do anything to terrorize you more than you've already been.

Meanwhile, outside the Bionicle's Mansion…

Vapour: …here we are…

Breez: The house of the Bionicles…

Rocka: …it's…radiating…pure evil…

Breez: Well…there's only one way forward from here. Time to put up or shut up! We're Hero Factory! We're fearless! Nothing gets in our way! Only the-

Voice: (indecipherable squeal)

Breez: (turns around)

Pikmin: (waves)

Breez: …uh…er…um…

Pikmin: …

Breez: …I think…I've had enough adventuring for one day. We can always come back tomorrow.

To be continued...

-MT

Edited by MT Zehvor

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Decent chapter.; My favorite part was the opening with the agent talking to the guy.

 

I did notice one minor typo, though:

 

Meanwhile, outside the Bionicle's Mansion…

 

 

Should be "Bionicles'," as the mansion is not owned by one person named "the Bionicle."

 

Other than that, didn't notice any other typos, so good job there.

 

-TNTOS-

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

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The Tasty Library of Sugary Goodness

(My Little BIONICLE: Friendship is Explosive Completed 01/05/14)

{The Shika Trilogy Omnibus Completed 03/31/14) (Review Topic)

(In the End Completed 09/01/14) (Review Topic)

The Biological Chronicle: (2001) (2002) (2003) (2004) (2005) (2006) (2007) (2008) (2009) (2010)

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Good comic, I haven't reviewed anything in a long time, but it was funny and written well.

 

Thanks Moccy. Glad to have you back for the...all of one chapter that you'll stick around for. :P

 

Decent chapter.; My favorite part was the opening with the agent talking to the guy.

 

Agents guaranteed to make any chapter opening 500% better.

 

 

Should be "Bionicles'," as the mansion is not owned by one person named "the Bionicle."

 

...are you sure you're not Hubert using a duplicate account?

 

 

Chapter 24: Trespassers are Not Tolerated

 

At the mansion...

Avak: ...well? How'd the interrogation session go?

Zaktan: Turns out they're all literally clueless about the mask's supposed power.

Avak: ...oh.

Zaktan: And on top of that, the mask's disappeared as well. Gone who knows where.

Avak: ...it probably fell into the basement when we were fighting. Probably slipped into that stupid hole that got knocked into the floor.

Zaktan: My thoughts exactly. I'm gonna take Vezok and Reidak on a caving expedition down to the basement. Maybe we can find something.

Avak: ...the basement's dangerous to go alone...you should take this.

Zaktan: If you hand me a wooden sword, I swear that I'm going to pulverize you-

Voice: Arf!

Zaktan: ...

Avak: Ta da! It's finally complete.

Zaktan: ...it's that...robotic dog...from before.

Avak: Indeed it is. Only now...it's friendlier.

Zaktan: ...how much friendlier?

Avak: It won't try to chew your ankles off this time around.

Cyberwolf: ...usually.

Zaktan: ...that's...certainly an improvement...

Avak: Right, well...here you go!

Zaktan: Ah, er...thanks...

Cyberwolf: I am programmed with the most advanced sniffing technology available to mechanical dogs.

Zaktan: ...oh, really?

Avak: Yep! Go ahead, ask him what he smells. I bet he can tell where the mask is from here.

Zaktan: ...ah...ok. Dog?

Cyberwolf: Cyberwolf.

Zaktan: ...right. Cyberwolf? What can you smell?

Cyberwolf: You.

Zaktan: ...just me?

Cyberwolf: Yes, you.

Zaktan: ...that's not...really advanced...

Cyberwolf: ...neither are your bathing techniques, if smell is anything to go by.

Zaktan: ...

Cyberwolf: ...it's actually quite difficult to sniff anything else when the object you are standing next to smells so poorly.

Zaktan: Can I take out this thing's voice chip?

Avak: If you can hold him down long enough to take it out, sure.

Cyberwolf: He can't.

Zaktan: ...

Avak: ...

Zaktan: ...well...I can already tell this expedition's going to be loads of fun.

 

Meanwhile, at the front door...

 

*Ding-Dong!*

Pridak: ...Tahu?

(silence)

Pridak: ...Tahu?

*Ding-Dong!*

Pridak: ...someone's at the door...Tahu?

Samus: (walks into the room and over to the door) He went into work earlier today.

Pridak: ...oh.

Samus: (opens the door) Hello?

Agent: AUGH! MORE OF THEM!

Samus: ...

Agent: ...

Samus: ...and...you are...?

Agent: I am...*ahem*...an enforcer of neighborhood policy...

Samus: ...

Agent: ...and, er...I recently got a complaint about...a turtle, accompanied by a group of insect like creatures...carrying a deceased pet into your backyard...

Samus: ...

Agent: ...uh...er...

Samus: ...annnndddd?

Agent: And...that's against neighborhood policy!

Samus: ...

Agent: ...

Samus: ...what do you want me to do about it?

Agent: Put a stop to it! You can't just murder people's pets and get away with it!

Samus: I didn't murder anyone's pet, thank you very much.

Agent: ...

Samus: ...

Agent: ...

Samus: ...

Agent: ...WELL?

Samus: Well what?

Agent: What should I do then?

Samus: I dunno. Go talk to the turtle yourself.

Agent: ...go talk to...the turtle?

Samus: Yeah. He's in the back yard.

Agent: ...you're telling me...to go discuss the morality of killing animals...with a turtle?

Samus: Well, you're taking advice from an action figure currently...so that's not that far removed.

Agent: ...

Samus: ...

Agent: ...this has unequivocally been the worst day of my career.

 

Meanwhile, in the front yard...

Vapour: ...I'm...uh...pretty sure this is the way to go...

Breez: ...are you sure? This looks...just like where we were a couple minutes ago.

Vapour: ...darn. You're right.

Rocka: How hard can it be to get out of a front yard?

Vapour: ...when it's a mansion as large as this...and you're a plastic toy that stands 6 inches tall...pretty hard.

Breez: Well, it's not like we need to get out of here anytime soon...I don't think anyone will be finding out out here...right Vapour?

(silence)

Breez: ...Vapour?

Rocka: ...huh?

Breez: ...where'd Vapour go? He was here last minute...and then...

Rocka: (starts looking around) ...Vapour! Vapour?! Where'd you go, buddy?

(silence)

Rocka: ...this is weird...stay close, Breez...something might be up...

(silence)

Rocka: ...Breez? (turns around)

(silence)

Rocka: ...oh no...what in the world...what...someone...anyone...(begins looking around frantically)...where did...everyone...(turns around and looks towards the back yard)

Pikmin: *SQUEAL!* (tackles Rocka)

Rocka: AAUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!

 

======

 

To be continued...

 

-MT

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Will the Barraki be added to the mansion? Or did they die in a previous comedy?

:a: :r: :z: :a: :k: :i:

I got Monster Hunter World on PS4, add me at bmrjw2 if you want

Also I play FFXIV, my main is Anastasia Willow on Exodus but I've got characters on every NA datacenter.

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