Staff Survivor IIGame Topic[color=#FF0000;]Please do not post in this topic - post in the discussion topic instead![/color]A boat zoomed over the water, the sun beating down directly overhead. The boat was making good time on its way to the only land in sight, the island Voya Nui.Canon is nothing when pitted against Fun.It was big enough for a couple dozen people to live on it comfortably, but that wouldn't be happening. Fourteen passengers would be kicked off at or near Voya Nui, left to fend for themselves for the next few months. All in the name of Fun, of course. Mostly other people's Fun.At the bow of the ship was a woman in an orange Huna, BZP Forum Administrator Tufi Piyufi. She'd decided that taking a nice boat trip with an assortment of current and former staff members would be a great way to celebrate BZP's anniversary. Leaving them on Voya Nui and toying with them would make it perfect."Um... Excuse me?" Tufi's own dear puffin-Vahki, Ophelia, approached the bow. "The captain says we'll be at the dropoff point in ten minutes."Tufi smirked. "Come stand and look really dramatic with me."So Ophelia did, and the time just vanished. It was like they'd gotten on the boat at BZ-Koro one moment, and were slowing to a stop near the Voya Nui beach the very next instant. It was a common phenomenon with helicopters and jetskis, but much rarer with large boats. They were right in the middle of the crescent, chosen for its poetic qualities and its only-approachable-coast qualities alike."Could you rouse our contestants, please?" Tufi asked. Ophelia nodded and went below deck. A minute later, people started fleeing the ship for the safety of the ocean with only the clothes on their back and the masks on their faces. Fourteen frightened people swam for shore while Ophelia set up a nice dinghy for her and Tufi to follow them.The contestants made it to the rocky beach, huddling together to warm up faster. Soon after, the dinghy arrived, and Tufi got off to address the huddled masses. She spread her arms."Welcome to Staff Survivor," she said like it was the answer to everything that was going on, because it was. "Over the next three months, you'll be competing against each other in near-constant challenges until one of you is left to claim the ultimate prize. The members will decide who stays and who goes each week. And you'll be doing it all while fending for yourselves in the great wilderness of Voya Nui. It's exactly what you signed up for!"But first we need to get you guys split into tribes and sent on your merry ways. Hahli Husky, Makaru, Arpy, Sumiki, Bfahome, Sisen, and Eeko, you're all one tribe and you'll be heading that way-" Tufi pointed to her left, which was probably east, "-to set up camp. Janus, Kakaru, Emzee, DeeVee, Spink, xccj, and Ta-metru_defender, you're the other tribe and you'll be going that way to make camp." Tufi pointed right, or west, or what will now be assumed to be west for the purposes of this game. "Your first challenge is to come up with tribe names. Whoever can come up with the least sucky name by Tuesday afternoon wins their luxury items back."Tufi got back onto the dingy. "Now get out of here!"
Staff Survivor II Game Topicstaff survivor II
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 09:44 AM
[Oh Makaru. What has the Empress gotten you into this time?] [color=#800080;]I was the first on the beach. At 5'17", I was easily the tallest staffer there. The last thing I was wearing was my usual Saturday finest; black polo, jeans and loafers. Only now, I had my signature iron grey Komau fastened to my head, like some long-forgotten prince of France.[/color]
[color=#800080;]I bravely shoved my lesser brethren to spearhead the mission to get off the boat as quickly as possible because reasons. I hit the water, and plunked to the bottom and strode to the warm sands. I had no desire to stay in the Voya Nui sea. I had been in those waters before.[/color]
[color=#800080;]It was terrible and stupid and boring.[/color]
[color=#800080;]Everyone hit the beach shortly after. They all looked cold. They looked at me. They shuffled over and huddled for warmth. I reluctantly let them, for the time being I was still pretty cold.[/color]
"Welcome to Staff Survivor" [color=#800080;]I decided that this was the last time I let the Empress buy me a drink. I keep forgetting. The only time she ever buys a round is when it's drugged.[/color]
[color=rgb(40,40,40);font-family:helvetica, arial, sans-serif;]"Over the next three months, you'll be competing against each other in near-constant challenges until one of you is left to claim the ultimate prize. The members will decide who stays and who goes each week." [/color][color=#800080;][font="helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"]she gestured somewhere. I was nervous. Either the old Puffin finally went off her rocker and was preparing to kill us all Hunger Games style, or she actually had a super-secret invisible audience somewhere. Watching us. Judging us. The implications of either were of no comfort.[/color][/font]
[color=rgb(40,40,40);font-family:helvetica, arial, sans-serif;]"[/color][color=rgb(40,40,40);font-family:helvetica, arial, sans-serif;]And you'll be doing it all while fending for yourselves in the great wilderness of Voya Nui. It's exactly what you signed up for!" Murmers in the crowd of staff. Apparently they too ordered the Puffin Surprise.[/color]
[color=#800080;]She then listed off the names of fellow victims who I would be on the same team with. Hahli Husky, Arpy, Sumiki, Bfahome, Sisen and Eeko. No doubt already plotting their betrayal. Betrayals were common amongst us. It's nature. I would murder any three of them for a good steak sandwich and beer.[/color]
[color=#800080;]Well maybe not HH. She and I? We go way back. She's a good kid. She also outranks me for a good reason. The things she has done. There is a vicious streak that runs through her. Her blood pumps pure teal.[/color]
[color=#800080;]I sized up the rest of the competition. Arps was a familiar face. Creative. Good with his hands. Sumiki, too. A bit of a wild card; real affinity for hats and farm animals. Beefy Homes is an old face, but not one I remember too well. Sisen is always a delight to be around. Real friendly type. Eeko is a rookie. Another one to keep tabs on.[/color]
[color=#800080;][font="helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"]The Empress continued.[/color][/font]
[color=rgb(40,40,40);font-family:helvetica, arial, sans-serif;]"Your first challenge is to [/color]come up with tribe names.[color=rgb(40,40,40);font-family:helvetica, arial, sans-serif;] Whoever can come up with the least sucky name by [/color]Tuesday afternoon[color=rgb(40,40,40);font-family:helvetica, arial, sans-serif;] wins their luxury items back."[/color]
[color=#800080;][font="helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"]Wait a minute.[/color][/font]
[color=#800080;][font="helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"]Stuff.[/color][/font]
[color=#800080;][font="helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"]My stuff[/color][/font]
[color=#800080;][font="helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"]I like stuff.[/color][/font]
[color=rgb(40,40,40);font-family:helvetica, arial, sans-serif;]"YO"[/color][color=#800080;][font="helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"] I shouted, [/color][/font][color=rgb(40,40,40);font-family:helvetica, arial, sans-serif;]"I LIKE STUFF"[/color]
Edited by Makaru, Jul 22 2013 - 11:56 AM.
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 10:50 AM
[font="Palatino;"]I was one of the few - and possibly the only - one to know what they were getting into. A willing participant, if you will - the others seemed to have been drugged and/or blackmailed into participation. That said, it follows that I wasn't generally a person who would get flustered at inconvenience. At least, I tried to be that person, but the person you want to be is oftentimes not the person you are. When the announcement came about the removal of luxury items, it didn't bother me ... until I remembered my thirty-seven hats and nineteen plush farm animals still on the boat. Surely the empress would deem those as "luxury items." Perhaps she even planned to confiscate them should my little ragtag band lose to the other ragtag band. (Of course, Kakaru was on the other team, and his forlorn face confirmed my suspicions: his luxuries consisted of nothing but toothbrushes - and to him, dental hygiene was no joke.) "YO," Makaru shouted. "I LIKE STUFF!" I looked up at my tall teammate - well, I tried. Nearly cracked my neck in the attempt ... mental note: don't try again. "What sort of luxury items would you even have?" I asked. "Cartons of maple syrup and crates of poutine?"[/font]
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 11:06 AM
[color=#800000;]I've never been a big fan of the taste of sand. It's always tasted really bland and yellowy. Sadly, it appeared that I had a mouthful of it. Such is what happens when you trip as you run to shore trying to escape a semi-megalomaniacal empress who may have not slipped some concoction of prescription medication in your drink.[/color]
[color=#800000;]Don't tell her I called her that, by the way.[/color]
[color=#800000;]Voya Nui's waters were legendary for their frigidity and they certainly lived up to their hype. Spitting out the sand I scrambled further up the beach, looking for a familiar face. There. Arpy. I huddled up next to him, clutching him for warmth and comfort. But mostly warmth. I was just getting snug against Arpy when Tufi Piyufi herself stepped onto the beach, spreading her arms in a not-at-all-imposing-and-evilish manner as she addressed us:[/color]
"Welcome to Staff Survivor. Over the next three months, you'll be competing against each other in near-constant challenges until one of you is left to claim the ultimate prize. The members will decide who stays and who goes each week. And you'll be doing it all while fending for yourselves in the great wilderness of Voya Nui." [color=#800000;]She paused and looked us up and down.[/color] "It's exactly what you signed up for!"
[color=#800000;]Wait. Signed up for? I didn't sign up for this, I just heard there were free drinks on Piyufi's dime. And the corollary of the Second Rule Of Life is to never refuse free drinks (with the rule proper being to never refuse free food. Interestingly, the fourth rule is to not eat something if you don't know what it is. Interesting, really, the way the rules interact with each other, in fact it's rumored that—)[/color]
[color=#800000;]My train of thought was abruptly derailed and set aflame in a horrendous accident that would go down in mental annals as Piyufi began listing the teams and our first challenge. As it happens, I was not on Arpy's team. Or he wasn't on my team. I like that phrasing better.[/color]
[color=#800000;]I pushed myself off of him and scrambled away in search of someone on my team to provide warmth
and comfort. Xccj was the first I spotted and I decided he would be my new Provider of Warmth and comfort. I latched onto him like a newborn pig to its mother. Well, no, not like that; more like a baby koala to its mother. Wait, that's not right either. A remora to a shark? Never mind, I was never really good at metaphors (you could say I'm a bull in goldfish bowl), you get the idea.[/color]
[color=#800000;]"Hey..." I suddenly realized I had no idea for the life of me how to pronounce his name. Was it ecksssj? Or eckseeseejay? Did I have to use clicks? Xkekej? Steve? Eckskekejay? "...buddy," I finished lamely. "How's it going?"[/color]
[color=#800000;]This was going to be an interesting three months. I just hoped our tribe name would be something pronounceable without having to resort to the Xhosa language.[/color]
You and I we begin forever now
I still believe in us together
You and I we're here together now
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 11:14 AM
(They said there was pie...)
The rush of cool air lapping off the waves to the beach sent a shiver down my spine. It was cold enough with the sea air blowing every which way, but getting to dry land also meant getting wet. I looked down at my clothing, my dark blue long sleeve shirt was partially soaked around the waist, but the worst part was my pants.
I had taken off my brown boots and draped them around my neck before hitting the water. No one wanted to walk around in sopping shoes. Splish splosh.
The others were in the exact same boat though. ’Heh. Boat. Funny. I thought to myself.
HH, Arpy, Sumiki, Bfa, and Eeko. Not a bad group. This could work out, for now.They needed to setup camp together first. After that it would slowly but surely turn into a every man or woman for themselves cutthroat competition.
At Sumiki's mention of maple syrup my brain went spinning. The last thing I recalled before finding myself here was being promised pie, or was I eating pie? I shook the thought away and looked at the others.
“We should try and find a place to make camp. Somewhere close to the water but not too deep inland. The deeper you go in the wilder it will get.” I spoke, unsure if anyone was actually listening.
“Oh and a fire, we should try and start a fire. We could call ourselves the lightbringers or something.” I looked westward towards the direction our tribe was supposed to head. Another ravenous gust of wind hit me upside the head; I pulled up my hood over my bronze Matatu and went back to thinking about what to do next.
If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you don’t fight, you can’t win!
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 11:33 AM
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 01:02 PM
[color=#cc6600;]You'd been out of the loop for a while, trying to get back on your feet after being prematurely ejected from an ivory tower where you'd had a great time analyzing literature, learning far too many languages for your own good, and hacking watermelons apart with broadswords. When you heard murmurs about cannons being fired off against this indie pop band with inane lyrics about lips building castles (seriously, how do lips build castles), you thought it sounded like a lark--just the thing to distract you from your post-undergrad ennui. You weren't expecting to be caught in the middle. Next thing you knew you were bundled off to a tropical island in the cramped hold of a boat, spat out into the water, and spontaneously thanking Bob (or whomever) for those swim lessons in second grade. You breaststroked magnificently to shore, shook out your waterlogged 'fro, and shared a brief cuddle with TMD for a moment before realizing you weren't on the same team. You entertained the possibility that you might actually be star-crossed lovers from rival families in fair Voya-Nui where this story lay, but that had pretty much already been done before, and better. As you stood up and moved to stand with your tribe, you realized a familiar weight on your shoulder was missing. You only had soggy clothes, squishy boots, and your burnt orange Kanohi. No strap on your shoulder connected to your subspace suitcase. Your bag was still in the ship's hold. And you really wanted your bag back. You eyed the rest of your team, who was all eyeing you and each other as well. Distrust seemed to be the mode du jour here, which was unfortunate for you, because your naturally trusting nature would almost certainly come back to bite you in the rear. Or ankle. Wherever. At 4'20", you weren't the tallest member of your team, but you'd be darned if you were going to let an arbitrary 12-inch delimiter stop you from representing your height however you wanted. "Your first challenge is to come up with tribe names," Tufi proclaimed. "Whoever can come up with the least sucky name by Tuesday afternoon wins their luxury items back." So. The solution to recovering your subspace suitcase. "Least sucky" was a vague qualifier, to say the least. Somehow you didn't think Team Anti-Vacuum or Team Leafblower would cut it. You heard Sisen mumbling something about setting up camp, which admittedly needed to be done before nightfall, but he was wandering off in a western sort of direction--betraying his sympathies for the other tribe? You turned him to face east and decided to keep an eye on him in particular. Eeko mentioned looking for wood in the forest, which struck you as an excellent idea given how cold it was. Splitting up to gather camp supplies would be more efficient, but on the other hand, you have no idea what's out there and no camp to meet at. You search for a landmark to the east where your team could rendezvous. "Eeko," you say, "why don't you take Sumiki with you and look for firewood? The rest of us will head for that curiously shaped rock formation in the east and meet you there. Sound good?" Everyone nods, or at least makes some kind of noncommittal grunt. "Makaru, HH," you asked as your tribe headed east, "You two are fairly well attuned to the Canadian zeitgeist, aren't you? Is there any way we can pander to the Empress's tastes to come up with something totally excellent for our name? My only thought at this point is Bryan and the Supertramps."[/color]
Edited by Arpy, Aug 03 2013 - 12:45 AM.
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 01:11 PM
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 03:10 PM
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 03:45 PM
"Oh Jen, what have you gotten us into this time? Last time I trusted you we got lost in a giant mall full of turns and twists that didn't make geographic or geometric sense. I mean, if you turn right, and then turn right, and then turn right, you should be back where you started, not in a completely different corridor...."
I realized that the members of my (admittedly AWESOME) group were all standing, watching me talk to myself. "Hey guys, you know, we all talk to ourselves. It's just a thing that happens because of the dual-hemisphere configuration of the human brain. Some of us just do it out loud and more honestly."
As they continued to stare, I realized that they had all huddled around me. "##### I'm the leader aren't I? Can't it be Janus? I mean, I know he retired, and he's really more useful as a character we all share our secrets with, who then uses them to either betray us at that one, serendipitous moment, or uses them to give us the greatest of strength, allowing us to succeed together where otherwise we would have failed, but I mean come on, look at him. That man screams "I AM A CANADIAN MARTIAL ARTIST RAWR, EH!" I think we should follow him. Right? Right?"
I looked over at Spink, he was thinking hard, and I'd bet anyone who might be listening in on my thoughts anything that he was lost in team name ideas. I was also certain that they would be oddly specific references to things I did not understand. But that didn't mean they'd be bad!
I bet it involved glitter, though.
I wondered if I liked glitter.
Wondering about glitter, I remembered that Ke$ha song about the place she knows, if you're looking for a show, where the go hardcore. It's a hole in the wall, and it's often a dirty free for all.
This couldn't be that place. We needed to make sure that our team bonded, that there was no treachery, or deceit. We couldn't have a dirty free for all.
He looked sad. Maybe confused. I don't know.
My akaku could see through things, but it couldn't help me see through the look he gave me.
Speaking of looks, metaphorical audience in my head, you should have seen the look on Janus' face.
I realized very quickly that the Empress had destroyed a family.
"Hey bud, it'll be okay. Maybe we can convince Hahli Husky that she really works better as a secret member of our team, right? I mean, I know she's an honest, upstanding, cutthroat chick, but we also have MooCow with us. How could she let him down?" I gestured to Kakaru, who we all agreed was adorable.
Almost as adorable as Emzee, who in a roundabout way was definitely my son. Speaking of which, I realized that Nukaya had not joined our little trip. Wasn't that just like Jen.
I realized I was rambling, and to make matters worse, it was only in my own head. So I went to find xccj and TMD chillaxing together on the outside of our group. TMD looked confused, like perhaps he had was not in on the joke of the xccj. I realized he was the only BZ-Koro member here on Voya Nui whom I had not before entertained, at least, in our group. There was a guy I didn't recognize in the other group. But that guy was in the other group, so that guy clearly sucked. Like, Toa Mata Nui set sucked.
Nah, he looked okay. Maybe even a guy we could turn.
I called our group together, hoping perhaps somebody else would challenge my current leadership role. Then I decided I wanted to be in charge, and hey, I'm awesome, so why not, right? Besides, if they all expected an arrogant guy who told everyone what was what, maybe I should give them that guy.
"So, we all want to be the less sucky team, right? I mean, look at that team. Look at them! With the exception of Hahli Husky because Janus will shoot me if I don't exempt her from this blanket statement, we are way more attractive and good-looking than them! That makes us the good guys. The heroes. The ones to cheer and adore. We need a name. A name that defines that sense of moral support, of generosity, of camaraderie, of LEGENDARY AWESOMNESS that WE ENCOMPASS. So I'm open to suggestions. Let's pick a name that fits all of us, that gets all of us excited.
They say in the time before last, when the great Staff Survivor was first began, there was a clear hero. The people's champion. I say we honour this man with our group. My suggestion is that we call ourselves "THE SCHIZO KAITA".
WHAT SAY YOU, MY GENDER-NEUTRAL TERM FOR CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS OF A NON-ROMANTIC YET KIND OF FAMILIAL MANNER!?"
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 04:06 PM
[font="verdana, geneva, sans-serif;"][color=#800080;]I kept yelling [/color]"I LIKE STUFF" [color=#800080;]over and over again, but I don't think I verbalized that this was my suggestion for the team name enough. Like one of these guys just looked at me and was all like yeah I get it we all like stuff too. I decided that it was a dumb name if no one could get it.[/color][/font]
[font="verdana, geneva, sans-serif;"][color=#800080;]Arpy then asked, [/color]"Makaru, HH, You two are fairly well attuned to the Canadian zeitgeist, aren't you? Is there any way we can pander to the Empress's tastes to come up with something totally excellent for our name? My only thought at this point is Bryan and the Supertramps."[/font]
[color=#800080;][font="verdana, geneva, sans-serif;"]Pandering to the Empress? Why she'd see through that and run us through, she would! Kickawesome name aside, we had to do better then that if we wanted to win our coveted luxury goodies back.[/color][/font]
[color=#800080;][font="verdana, geneva, sans-serif;"]As we walked, I cleared my head. I breathed deeply. Found my zen. And I let the most creatively terrific name come to pass.[/color][/font]
[font="verdana, geneva, sans-serif;"]"The Clickit Von Glitterglau Crew"[/font]
[color=#800080;][font="verdana, geneva, sans-serif;"]I am creatively bankrupt.[/color][/font]
Edited by Makaru, Jul 22 2013 - 04:06 PM.
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 04:29 PM
The extent of my knowledge about Voya Nui was that it sucked. I could never read past the first chapter in that Legends series without getting distracted. So far, though, the island was living up to my uneducated expectations. Lowering my hands from my sopping and, most likely, destroyed hair, I breathed in slowly to regain patience. If I was gonna get through this without slitting everyone's throats, I was gonna have to make myself two promises.
Leave your hair alone, I thought, clenching my fists and puffing out my cheeks in concentration. And don't look at your reflection. Ever.
Three months. Three months away from my bathroom and comfortable bed with my favorite cuddlebuddy. I glanced back at Janus for the 11th time, who waved sadly for the 11th time. I smiled, though both teams had put enough distance between themselves that I wasn't sure if he could see. Maybe having a break would be a good thing. He drove me crazy about once a week or so, and I figured I got on his nerves at least once a day. I hoped one of us would be voted off before things got too intense. But if not, well ... maybe it would be fun! He often commented that he loved that I could be so snarky, so clever, so evil. Which was hilarious because, I was convinced I wasn't any of those things.
Of course Tufi would separate me from my dear little family. This is probably better than Janus or Kakaru being by themselves, though. As long as my husband and our adopted son were together, then I knew they would be just fine. And, at least Makaru and I ended up together. By our powers combined, the two of us had a real talent for Getting Stuff Done (But Only When We Felt Like It.) He was currently, however, busy yelling the same babble over and over. The shock of the cold swim and the water in my ears had lowered my comprehension greatly, but I figured that the mention of stuff had set him off. As far as the rest of the team went, I was thankful I already knew all of them. Well, I had preconceived notions about each of them that would inevitably change before the end of this excursion.
Another thing I had to process was ... luxury items? My hairbrush? Food? Maybe my purse!! My purse served as the perfect first aid and anti-anxiety kit.
Janus is my luxury item.
Pppfffffttt, Tufi wouldn't consider that a luxury item. Maybe his shirt. Yeah, that would be nice because then I could snuggle it at night. And a not-really-secret Secret Fact about Janus: he LOVES being shirtless.
Somebody said my name, instantly snapping me out of HH-Land and my temporary deafness. "Makaru, HH," Arpy piped up thoughtfully, "you two are fairly well attuned to the Canadian zeitgeist, aren't you? Is there any way we can pander to the Empress's tastes to come up with something totally excellent for our name? My only thought at this point is Bryan and the Supertramps."
"Canadian stuff might be playing it safe." But given that I was a very young Canadian, especially compared to certain friends who were Canadians by birthright, the buzzwords coming to mind were just as embarrassing as the fact that I said them out loud. "Uh ... poutine, perogies, loonies, maple leaves, Tim Horton's, hosers?"
[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Makaru looked partly determined. "The Clickit Von Glitterglau Crew."[/font]
I tried to think of what the other team might call themselves. Possibly also something concerning glitter and general mockery of fabulous, feminine notions. But Smeag wasn't around, and there were too many wild cards on the other team to be sure. It had a high chance of turning out very retro, as well.
As far as the first challenge went ... I've always been terrible at coming up with names and usually rely on the creative genius and/or ridiculous pluckiness of someone else. "Well, Clikits is a sure-fire, hot-button, hilarious topic as far as Tufi is concerned," I said. "But I couldn't say no to Supertramps, either. Uh. Clikit Supertramps?" Marrying two ideas is the extent of my talent for titles, if it could even be called a talent.
God forbid we try to pick a leader at this point.
Edited by Hahli Husky, Jul 25 2013 - 01:48 PM.
thanks photobucket i ♥ my new sig
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 04:34 PM
Voya Nui. It HAD to be Voya Nui.
I'm not quite sure why I had signed up for this, or how, or the details of everything... but I vaguely remember being told we'd be on a tropical island in the Bionicle universe.
Well, depending on the latitude of the ocean planet, Voya Nui perhaps was still in the tropics.
But we were not greeted by the typical landscape of a tropical island. Instead of warm, sandy beaches, we crawled up onto the ice ring, and frosty rocks crunched beneath our feet. Worse was that we were all soaked from swimming over. Who sends a Vahki to throw people into the water as a way to welcome them ashore?
Oh, right, the Empress does. Stupid question.
But back to the landscape. Yeah, not a paradise. Island of Doom and whatnot.
The Empress split us into teams and directed us off. We were to head west... or what we assumed was west. I tried to remember the geography of Voya Nui. What was to the west? There were peninsulas... a volcano of some sort... a lifeless landscape full of rocks... wasn't there a jungle somewhere?
Our team retreated slightly from the shore, but quickly huddled together to gain warmth. TMD grabbed onto my arm like a boa constrictor to a lamb... or was it like an ant to a cube of sugar? Maybe like a Lego enthusiast to a classic Lego set...
DeeVee started to gather our attention as he discussed the task at hand... determining a team name. I pondered the idea in my head.
"Maybe something themed to the island? Yeah, the Voya-Nui Resistance Team! Except what are we resisting... oh, the Empress might take that the wrong way. Maybe we could be the Piraka, since they were here before... no, wait, wasn't that a bad name or something? Maybe the Toa Inika! No, we're not a bunch of clones who are ripping off classic characters of the past... we're better than that."
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "Okay, maybe canon wasn't the right direction to go. What else is cool. Team Hammer Sauce? Team Vuvuzela? Or perhaps Team DEJKSTX!"
I looked up to see everybody staring at me, and then realized my pondering had not just been in my head.
"What on earth is that last one?" TMD asked, clearly confused.
"Oh, that has the first letters of all our names, arranged in alphabetical order," I explained.
"Well, I'm not a fan of it," TMD said. "How would you even pronounce it?"
"Yeah, it's not the best name," I admitted. "There's a meaning behind that acronym, and it doesn't have enough random letters like Z or Q. I'll try and think up something better."
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 06:09 PM
IC: Ugh, sorry guys, I’ll try harder to resist next time. Old habits die hard.
I sat in the sodden, chilly sand for a moment, dazed and trying my best to recollect the sequence of events that led to this very moment. I remember wanting to look my best before meeting the Empress for the first time… and we were all headed to this dinner place (or was it a bar?) on board a very nice boat. The Empress was kind enough to order rounds for everyone – including me! Who was I to resist? Especially since she didn’t seem anything like the Tufi from legend foretold. She’s just a regular person who likes LEGOs and videogames (and knitting), just like you and me (sans knitting).
If that’s the case, why am I sitting in wet sand on the Island of Doom?!
I probably should have listened to Black Six. Now he’s never going to let me live this one down.
“Welcome to Staff Survivor,” I heard a voice say. I quickly regained my focus and climbed to my feet, feverishly brushing off sand from my brand new, dark, creased jeans and button-up shirt. I try and make a good first impression for the Empress and this is the thanks I get? I paid good adult-money for these clothes!
I looked to my left towards the beach – a beach that makes Galveston, TX look like the Caribbean – and saw a woman wearing a noble Huna just like mine, but it was orange instead of blue. It was Tufi herself! And – did she just say what I think she just said?
“Over the next three months, you'll be competing against each other in near-constant challenges until one of you is left to claim the ultimate prize. The members will decide who stays and who goes each week. And you'll be doing it all while fending for yourselves in the great wilderness of Voya Nui. It's exactly what you signed up for!” Tufi said with such enthusiasm. When did I sign up to be oh why do I even bother…
“… Janus, Kakaru, Emzee, DeeVee, Spink, xccj, and Ta-metru_defender, you're the other tribe and you'll be going that way to make camp.” I watched Tufi point what I think was west.
By this point, I had resigned myself to my fate. It looked like I would have to acquiesce to this “generous” offer. I looked around at my team mates, and I quickly began to feel lonesome. Usually, I would have the likes of Friar Tuck, Nuju Metru, or EmperorWhenua to go to whenever I was in unpredictable situations. While I didn’t always need their help, their presence had definitely made for great confidence boosters. Then there were the PAX people – Black Six, WaWa, and the Moa – the four of us together would be unstoppable. Though against a vengeful Empress? Maybe not.
That likely explains why they’re not here.
There is no one to lean on now. My years in the BZPRPG have taught me so much about dealing with the completely insane plots that people have tried – maybe this was meant to happen? Maybe this is my cue to take the helm?
“Your first challenge is to come up with tribe names. Whoever can come up with the least sucky name by Tuesday afternoon wins their luxury items back.”
I stifled a gasp. My cooler full of tortillas, meat, garnishes, as well as BBQ taken straight from The Salt Lick was in the grasps of the Empress? Could she even appreciate good Texas BBQ?
I had to get that cooler back. If nothing else, the food in there could last us awhile – assuming my team likes tacos (real tacos).
I saw DeeVee and followed the rest of the team over to where he was standing. From the looks of folks here, they naturally assumed that DeeVee would be the leader – which makes sense. I doubt there’s any Staff member on this site that matches the fiery candor that DeeVee proudly displays.
But opinions and confidence do little against a certain "Hahli Husky", by far the most dangerous contestant on the other team.
DeeVee has all the traits of a captain, but for this competition, he’ll need a first mate. And since we’re pretty much family, who better to fill that role than me? Not to mention 10 solid years of playing these types of crazy games.
At least there’s no time-punching… hopefully.
“No glitter,” DeeVee stuck down the idea before it was even presented. I’m fine with that, personally. There’s nothing glittery about this Texas-born, game-developing Bionicle fan.
“So, we all want to be the less sucky team, right? I mean, look at that team. Look at them! With the exception of Hahli Husky because Janus will shoot me if I don't exempt her from this blanket statement, we are way more attractive and good-looking than them! That makes us the good guys. The heroes. The ones to cheer and adore. We need a name. A name that defines that sense of moral support, of generosity, of camaraderie, of LEGENDARY AWESOMNESS that WE ENCOMPASS. So I'm open to suggestions. Let's pick a name that fits all of us, that gets all of us excited.
They say in the time before last, when the great Staff Survivor was first began, there was a clear hero. The people's champion. I say we honour this man with our group. My suggestion is that we call ourselves THE SCHIZO KAITA.
WHAT SAY YOU, MY GENDER-NEUTRAL TERM FOR CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS OF A NON-ROMANTIC YET KIND OF FAMILIAL MANNER!?”
I stepped forward.
Well, I suppose that’s better than my suggestion.
Or is it? There was only one way to find out.
“My suggestion is The Miracle Cactus!”
You’re not in the RPG Forum anymore!
Edited by Emzee, Jul 22 2013 - 06:47 PM.
"hey girl: here’s an idea, but… it’s up to you:
You’re the boss of this operation."
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 06:41 PM
Nope, I hadn't dozed off for a second, and no my team hadn't started moving toward a rock in the distance, and no I was most certainly not making a mad dash to catch up with them as Eeko and Smikki split off to scavenge.
And I totally wasn't out of breath when I caught up to them. Not that I had to catch up to them, because I was definitely right with them the entire time yes sir.
"Uh, yeah, Clikits. I heart those things."
Okay, so trying to insert myself into a conversation based on the first word I heard probably wasn't the best idea. Or at least that's what the confused and borderline annoyed looks from my teammates were implying. I decided to gravitate towards the back of the mob.
I glanced around to see if anything was new in the landscape.
Trees, ocean, sand.
I could work with that, though. Or, at least, I was pretty sure I could work with that. As long as I could carve them into individual metric cubes, we would be dead set for the quarter-year.
… right, team name.
Racking my brain, I tried to think of any inside joke I could worm into a name somehow. One that wouldn't get me immediately banned or decked in the face.
Reaching up under my shiny black Akaku, I scratched my chin thoughtfully. It didn't help.
The only thing I could think to do was make an acronym from our names, but I was pretty sure I'd heard someone on the other team mention something to that effect. You know, while I was awake and attentive and definitely not sleeping. Even if they didn't end up doing that, it seemed pretty low-class and uninspired to take their idea.
"Hambess" wasn't exactly the least sucky name in the world anyway.
Edited by Bfahome, Jul 22 2013 - 06:45 PM.
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 07:08 PM
A familiar presence graced my arms and rerouted me in the right direction. My natural sense of direction was not always the best, and trying to navigate while lost in a thought stream was a hopeless endeavor. I nodded back at Arpy giving him thanks. The last thing I wanted to do was find a campsite for the other tribe.
"Eeko," you say, "why don't you take Sumiki with you and look for firewood? The rest of us will head for that curiously shaped rock formation in the east and meet you there. Sound good?"
I looked towards the dastardly duo and yelled out, “Beware whatever lion, tiger, and bear-rahi might lurk out there. I think there might be knife spiders or something of that sort on the island?” He wondered how his friend Spink would handle being exposed to spiders in the wild. Actually, that might be a good character to flaw to know about down the road.
I stole a quick glance at the other group who seemed to be organizing just as quickly as us, given the circumstances of winding up on Voya Nui.
“Uh. Clikit Supertramps?" HH suggested. She was clearly going to be the default leader. There was no one else better suited, unless we measured the leadership criteria by height then Mak would be the obvious leader. She was the best choice and a maternal figure type, however... how would she fare without Janus at her side? Her heart was in two places, here and over there with Janus. How would her sanity hold up with half a heart?
“That rolls off the tongue a lot easier than the Clickin Von Glitterglau Crew.” Mak was tall but he did clearly lack the creative aptitude for names, but he was good at building things wasn’t he?
Bfa was rattling off something that sounded like ‘hambess.’ Ham. Ham. Mmmmm. Ham. ’I need to stop thinking about food.’
“That reminds me of Katniss.” I said as my stomach gave a little rumble. It also brought me back to pie.
I kept walking looking for any natural areas in the area that could potentially be used to forge a makeshift campsite. We still needed fire. It was too cold and it would just get colder with nightfall. I didn't mind sharing body warmth standing up, but when night came around I was not ready to snuggle buddy with anyone who might attempt to stab my back. Although... no one had any weapons. Yet.
Fire. Fire. Fire. Building a shelter would be a challenge. Fire. Island. Fire. Fire. At some point I started mumbling my thoughts aloud, "Fire, fire, fire, fire, island, knives, fire fire fire island, firefirefirefirefirevolcanoislandfirefirefireislandfireislandfireisland, VOLCANO!" This was Voya Nui and it was an island. There was a volcano right? Who in their right mind would want to try and get fire from a volcano though...
Edited by Sisen, Jul 22 2013 - 08:29 PM.
If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you don’t fight, you can’t win!
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 07:29 PM
[color=#800080;]HH looked distracted about missing her Buttest. Eeko and Sumiki were busy studying the greenest and lushest foliage in which to smoke out the rest of the island. Homes was preoccupied with hamsters? Sisen was busy reminiscing about Hunger Games (So half an hour ago!) Arpy was... somewhere?[/color]
[color=#800080;]Now was my time to strike[/color]
"All in favor of Clickit Supertramps, say and do absolutely nothing"
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 07:34 PM
"So say we all?" Was that from the right fandom? No that did not seem right. "Don't blink!" Still not right... "By the power of Grayskull!" Nope. "For Equestria!" Maybe I should quite while I still have my head...
Edited by Sisen, Jul 22 2013 - 07:35 PM.
If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you don’t fight, you can’t win!
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 07:43 PM
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 08:06 PM
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 08:14 PM
I liked Mak's "super tram" idea. It would make getting around the island much easier. The only minor issue I was seeing was that we had absolutely no way of constructing or powering one. I opened my mouth to ask him exactly how he planned on making it, but was interrupted by a stream of references from Sisen. Apparently he thought we were going to encounter some kind of living skeletal horse statue or something?? That would be kind of cool, provided it didn't decide to zap us into the past. Or step on us.
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 08:43 PM
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 08:47 PM
[color=#cc6600;]At least part of your name suggestion seemed to go over well with the group--when you mentioned Bryan and the Supertramps, you were thinking of Bryan Adams, of course. Makaru was Makaru. You actually really liked Makaru's suggestion of 'Clikit Supertramps,' though maybe with a 'the' appended to the front, so you said "And do absolutely nothing!" with fervor, then wheeled and headed for the east.As you tromped off towards the curious rock formation, your mind wandered to the topic of tribal leadership. Reflections in the waves sparked your memories--some happy, some sad. You thought of childhood friends and the dreams we shared, then you thought about your first exposure to Monty Python at the tender age of 14."How about an anarcho-syndicalist commune?"You turned and realized that your team was still dithering on the beach, having moved an average of thirty-one feet east, never mind that it was getting on with sunset. You trotted back and asked the question again."We could take it in turns to act as a sort of executive leader for the week," you continued. "I'd be fine with Makaru or HH to start off with."Eeko and Sumiki had already taken off to look for wood, and as you arrived back at the group Bfahome appeared from somewhere. He was no doubt sneaking around to gain some advantage--you brought yourself up short. Unjustly accusing Bfahome? Pandering to Tufi? Giving Sisen the sideeye? That wasn't you. Cover letters of ages past flashed through your mind. 'Team player,' they said. 'people-oriented.' What was up with you now? You remembered hearing how mental instability had been a tradition, a duty, and a care on this island the first time around, but hadn't that been due to a mutagen? You wondered if there was some kind of airborne agent and contemplated breathing through your shirt to filter it out, but your v-neck would have made that even more awkward than usual. Instead, you resolved to give everyone the benefit of the doubt until such time as they proved themselves deserving of the malefit of the doubt. Your tribe needed to pull together like the Constructicons or fall divided, so any irrational suspicions would be saved for after you decisively beat--whatever the other team was calling themselves.Of course, your team needed a name, too. Tuesday afternoon could technically be 12:01pm, and Tohu knew what time zone that would be--did Voya Nui even have time zones?"And do absolutely nothing," you reaffirmed.You hoped Eeko and Sumiki weren't doing anything rash.[/color]
Edited by Arpy, Aug 03 2013 - 12:45 AM.
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 08:51 PM
[color=#800000;]The Schizo Kaita?[/color]
[color=#800000;]I mean, I guess it worked well enough for us. We could be a kaita of sorts, by out powers combined and all that. Not literally. Because then I'd be a foot. And I don't wanna be a foot. I wanna be a hand. And the schizo part, well, our Great Leader DeeVee was once again talking to himself so I guess that worked.[/color]
[color=#800000;]Xccj suggested some unpronounceable series of letters. I shot him down; we want people to be able to chant our name when we return.[/color]
"The Miracle Cactus!"[color=#800000;] suggested Emzee suddenly. Good, I thought, because us winning would be like sucking wine from the proverbial cactus; but still not there.[/color]
[color=#336699;]"Zeezlejay?" [/color][color=#800000;]said Kakaru. Well. At least it wasn't in Xhosa.[/color] [color=#336699;]"Tuna sandwich cultists?"[/color][color=#800000;] he said louder and more confidently. [/color]
[color=#800000;]I detached myself from xccj and stood, shaking water out of my hair and onto my prior Provider of Warmth
and comfort. We did look awfully forsaken here on the beach. I sneaked a glance over at the other team. They were organizing themselves into groups that seemed to have that elusive thing called Purpose. I guess that's what happens when you have a Global on your team.[/color]
[color=#800000;]"Folks," I said, addressing everyone, "I think our Dear Leader's got a good idea. You can say it, more importantly others can chant it. Unless anyone has plans for Schizo Kaita's Miracle Cactus, well, y'know.[/color]
[color=#800000;]"But we need shelter. And fire. Lots of fire. And maybe food too. And — now this is only if we have time — perhaps a distillery." A few faces brightened at the last idea. "Deevee, you're the builder person here, why don't you assemble a team to collect resources for and build a shelter? Spink you —" Was he sleeping? Or was he thinking? Maybe he could summon food from Another Plane of Existence. I let him be. "I'll start an Exploration Party to look for a new place to set up camp. Don't want those guys," I motioned to the other team, "spying on us."[/color]
[color=#800000;]Because this isn't just any sort of survival competition where dying is the only risk. No, it's more than that; humiliation, death, all those consequences were no where as bad as the ultimate one: Losing To Them. Stuff was getting real. This is Staff Survivor.[/color]
You and I we begin forever now
I still believe in us together
You and I we're here together now
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 09:09 PM
I sort of laughed as TMD tried to assert some form of leadership and purpose within our group. It was clear that the other group moving slightly every few minutes had led him to believe that we were behind, but there was no way we'd lose to the other team.
And of course, he was right about one thing- I was the best builder in the group. And on the island. And probably in the entirety of whatever physics-forsaken universe Voya-Nui and Aqua Magna (I still couldn't get over how terrible that name was) were in.
I quickly pulled a Jack from LOST and assembled a smaller group who would then go on to become the only important characters to exist within the narrative. Janus, Kakaru, and Emzee were picked by
Jacob myself to head into the jungle looking for the smoke monster supplies. Of course, what TMD didn't know was that in my belongings were all the magical building tools I'd need to build anything we needed.
I am a builder, after all.
I tried to decide if TMD would be the John Locke of our group. I hoped not, as I didn't think he was anywhere near as terrible, wrong, miserable, creepy, or insane enough to be John Locke. Maybe more of a Sawyer....
Though, to be fair, naming ourselves "Schizo Kaita", building a distillery, and then calling our brew "Schizo Kaita's Miracle Cactus" was a pretty amazing idea. And it was basically as call-back-ish and homage-y as we could possibly get.
Before we headed out, I shared this vision with our group.
"Before we head out, and separate into totally equal screen-time groups who get equal amounts of flashbacks, I'd like to share this vision. Maybe there are members amongst us who don't know of the great Schizo Kaita and his time in Staff Survivor. But he was a hero to the people, and his memory deserves honor. And let's be honest, he was also a big fan if distilleries, and cactuses make great consumable liquids. So when we get this all together, I propose we create, label, and bottle our brew as "Schizo Kaita's Miracle Cactus". Commissioning of a label design will begin soon."
I looked over at Kakaru, who was being adorable, whipping his hair back and forth. Man, that kid. What a great guy.
Really, our entire group was full of great guys.
This realization made me sad, because there was a noticeable lack of females in our group. All we needed was two, so the majority-male group would start to think that females were taking over.
It would be only science!
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 09:34 PM
"Tuna sandwich cultists?" Kakaru suggested. I couldn’t tell if he was serious or not
But the name wasn’t too bad. “I like sandwiches, but I don’t want to be in a cult with tuna.”
“How about Oyster Sandwich Cultists?" Kakaru said with a shrug.
“Bah, who eats Oysters on sandwiches?”
“I dunno, but didn’t people like their music.”
Meanwhile, I heard Spink suggest the name “The Miracle Schizo.” It was a nice take to honor the great veteran from the last Staff Survivor. I would vote for that one.
Or better yet, combine them into the Miracle Schizo Sandwich Cult.
I vocalized this idea, but I wasn’t sure if the others were paying attention anymore. TMD and DeeVee were starting to organize groups to build shelters and fires and distilleries and the like. Which wasn’t a bad idea; if we were going to be here for a while, we’d need a base camp. Besides, a fire would be very helpful to warm us up. I looked around. There were various plant-like objects that could be burned, but how would we get them to ignite?
“Quick question?” I asked. “Who here has elemental fire powers?”
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 09:35 PM
[color=#800000;]"I'll start an Exploration Party to look for a new place to set up camp. Don't want those guys spying on us."[/color][color=#336699;]I guess that made sense? Yeah, it did, and I'd let everyone else know it. Now was the time to be assertive about the important things, like whether or not to eat human flesh raw or medium-rare. This group needed a little more dialogue anyway, and not just related to old rock groups and whether or not you could put them on a sandwich."We needed a team name, sure, but DeeVee's suggestion was the only reasonable one so far, unless everyone actually wanted what was on my mind and not in my stomach."I mean the tuna sandwich, not the cultists. Who eats those, ha ha."I coughed in a deliberately casual manner. The time for dark emotional revelations had to come at a point where victory and death hung in the balance, not while we were all moping around on the beach only a dozen paces from the other team."So, uh, I think Schizo Kaita cultists[/color] sounds like our best option. I'm going to collect firewood now. Just firewood. For making a fire."
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 09:37 PM
I subconsciously patted my own head as I watched Kakaru run his hand through his hair. No wonder everyone liked him. My hair, for now, was much too short to woo any crowds.
And this is a good thing. My hair doesn’t play well.
“Before we head out, and separate into totally equal screen-time groups who get equal amounts of flashbacks, I'd like to share this vision,” DeeVee said in an oddly-specific fashion. We’ll be getting flashbacks here? Cool! I’d love for the audience to learn a bit more about my past. Most of them probably don’t even know that much about me.
“Maybe there are members amongst us who don't know of the great Schizo Kaita and his time in Staff Survivor,” DeeVee continued, “But he was a hero to the people, and his memory deserves honor”
I nodded dutifully at this. Many probably didn’t get to witness the greatness that was Schizo Kaita. And with the archives in their current state, history may have actually become legend in this case.
“… let's be honest, he was also a big fan if distilleries, and cactuses make great consumable liquids. So when we get this all together, I propose we create, label, and bottle our brew as "Schizo Kaita's Miracle Cactus". Commissioning of a label design will begin soon.”
“You had me at ‘brew’,” I said to DeeVee. Brewing was another one of those feats that I just assumed I’d never accomplish, along with visiting an actual Bionicle locale and competing in the 72oz steak challenge. (NOTE: I never plan on actually doing this. Ever)
I looked at Kakaru and Janus and then back to DeeVee. I was ready whenever they were.
"hey girl: here’s an idea, but… it’s up to you:
You’re the boss of this operation."
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 09:52 PM
I looked adorably at adorable Kakaru, who was adorable. "Schizo Kaita cultists is pretty great. I think it hits all the right strides and also hits us right in the feels. Also you are adorable."
It was clear that adorableness was going to be Kakaru's calling card in this contest. Though to be fair, Emzee was rocking the short hair.
I wondered when I'd stop commenting on the people I knew best's looks and maybe compliment those I knew less too.
I decided to do so now.
"Hey xccj, you are also adorable, in a rugged outdoorsy boy scout kind of way. Also, TMD, you have that "I have lived on the seas" look of a handsome decision-making ability guy. And Janus, you look very quiet today."
"And dear Spink, you know I'll always love you. You're freaking huggable and crazy tall. You are basically our Makaru."
I heard xccj ask about elemental powers. That was a good question.
"Uh, so guys, do we have powers, and if so, who has what powers, and if you have fire powers, would you please speak now? After all, though we keep referencing them as if they had powers, these are just Matoran masks and are clearly powerless, but maybe we have elemental powers?"
I let that hang in the air, because why not?
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 10:20 PM
[color=#cc6600;]A bout of excitement seized you as you remembered a totally excellent movie you saw the other week. It had some excellent artistic choices, no franchise history to contend with, a female lead who more than held her own and had no romantic subplot, and giant robots fighting giant monsters through the power of friendship. Besides, it was just plain fun. Kind of how you'd have liked this survivor thing to turn out (And even as you thought this, a sinking foreboding settled upon your soul to the effect that this could never be the case in such a twisted world, but you're an ameliorist, so you opted to plunge on regardless). It amounted to base plagiarism, but Jaeger names are just so epic, how could one not? "In the event that Clikit Supertramps fails to win out," you said... "The Eureka Strikers!" you shouted. "The Tango Coyotes!" you frothed. "...The Hannibal Chaus?" you wondered. While you let your tribe mull these exciting options over, you made to head east a bit more and were pleased to find an unbelievably large leaf that would serve in a pinch as an umbrella, tent, and shield. So at least you had shelter. "Save my life, I'm goin' down for the last time," you sang as you meandered under your leaf. "Woman with the sweet lovin', better than a white lie."[/color]
Edited by Arpy, Aug 03 2013 - 12:45 AM.
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 10:47 PM
[color=#800000;]I snapped my fingers but fire didn't shoot up. Shame, really; pyrokenesis would be handy. And not just because it could set people on fire, though based on the hungry look Kakaru got when he looked at one of us made me think he'd find that part handy.[/color]
[color=#800000;]Maybe I had some matches in my pockets? I usually 'borrow' matchbooks from restaurants and bars so I probably took the one from the joint last night. A quick self-patdown revealed that my jeans held nothing besides water and yet another pair of earbuds. Again.[/color]
[color=#800000;]"Boy scout!" I said at xccj. "Build a fire!"[/color]
"With what?" [color=#800000;]he asked.[/color]
[color=#800000;]"I dunno, you're the boy scout," I said. Obviously. What, did he think I learned to build a fire during those couple years as a conscript? More like how to avoid officers and sleep in the conference room while hiding behind the table and using yesterday's newspaper as a pillow. Growing up on a ship didn't help in the fire department either, because, y'know, fire hazard.[/color]
[color=#800000;]Were this a highly-acclaimed television show or a movie by Christopher Nolan I would be drifting off to relive various memories of my life. Instead, I thought about the Luxury Items being withheld from me. My dufflebag had had a grappling hook in it (you never know when one of those would come in handy. Sixth rule of life [The Batman Rule]: Always Be Prepared.), a few sharpies, deodorant, and some books (including but not limited to: Lord of the Flies, Life of Pi, and Robinson Crusoe). For a moment I pictured myself frolicking in a field with my stuff, but I put aside the thought. Too painful.[/color]
[color=#800000;]I looked back at xccj as he assembled sticks into a teepee. Was he making a house for ants? We needed big shelter! People sized! And that was Deevee's job. We wanted fire, because, as everyone knows, you don't start an exploration party without torches that somehow never run out of fuel. [/color]
[color=#800000;]After all, we were the... What were we? The Cult of Schzio Kaita's Miracle Cactus? [/color]
You and I we begin forever now
I still believe in us together
You and I we're here together now
Posted Jul 22 2013 - 11:22 PM
Nobody had elemental fire powers, apparently. Did we even have elemental powers at all? I was wearing a lot of green, so my element was clearly air.
I jumped up and swung my hands out in front of me, while screaming, “AIR!”
Nothing happened. I guess we didn’t have elemental powers.
Well, we still needed to create a fire. TMD wasn’t being very helpful, and nobody else seemed to have a clue. I guess that it would all come down to me.
Sure, I was a boy scout who knew how to start fires. But I didn’t have a lighter or matches or gasoline-soaked newspaper to help me, so I would have to do things the old fashioned way. I gathered some small sticks and started stacking them together in a teepee shape. Sure, there was the log house method, but I had my way of doing things. Once the little stuff caught aflame, we could pile on bigger stuff and really get things roaring.
But there was still the problem of creating the spark to start off the fire. The classic method was to use flint and steel, or at least bash together two rocks until they started sending out sparks. But I would need to find the right rocks first, and that could take time. I could also try to rub two sticks together, because we always know THAT works out well. Not.
Of course, there was always the “fry an ant with a magnifying glass” method, where you reflected the sun’s light to heat the fuel. But I didn’t have a magnifying glass, or anything else reflective enough.
I looked over at TMD, who was just staring blankly at me, being completely useless. The sunlight glinted off the lenses of his Akaku. And that game me an idea; maybe he could be useful after all.
“TMD, get over here, I’m going to put that shiny mask to use!”
Posted Jul 23 2013 - 12:15 AM
To say that I was unhappy to be dumped in the deep (and might I add freezing cold) water surrounding Voya Nui would have been an understatement--to say I was unhappy at myself for actually trusting Tufi when she said that copy of the Metroid Prime Trilogy wasn't a trick--well, that would require several words not yet invented in the following languages: English, Korean, Spanish, and Esperanto.
Finally I managed to drag myself, and my wife (or rather, she dragged and I whined and acted like I was helping) to shore where we promptly set up a warm cuddlepile. Unfortunately that was when Ms. Empress began talking and I felt a cold horror overtake, bringing back feelings I had long since repressed. It was Staff Survivor...all over again.
Though my outside facade remained unflappable, inside I began the slow process of a nuclear meltdown: I had escaped! I managed to get away from the crazy savages (and also the staff) and the empresses cruel games--I HAD SURVIVED THE HUNGER GAMES (What was this, the quarter quell?)
But the worst was yet to come, with a malevolent look the empress began to read off the teams and I discovered that my young family was split in twain--leaving me to raise our adopted son to love and respect all living creatures except his mother who would undoubtedly turn on us and devour our bones in the night. (but seriously she's a very nice lady, and he would be taught to respect for her and also to make sure she never got behind him. Ever.)
And with that the insane madwoman left us sopping wet to await our fates, leaving only the ominous challenge to come up with the best name to earn back our luxury items--like my....uh....phone i guess maybe? I wracked my brain and realized I didn't really have any luxury items except my GUNDAM MODELS (and also my wife, but she is not an item she is a person. How rude of you to think that way)
Wracking my brain I quickly began to fire ideas out at random:"Fastaways!" I shouted"That was used last time" DeeVee responded--just like him to be a beautiful adonis know-it-all
"Fleas!" I said panicking
"Same thing" Kakaru responded. (Son, didn't I ever teach you not to contradict daddy?)
"TEAM CANADA!" I practically screamed
"We're not Canadian!" the other 95% of my team shouted back in unison.
Feeling hopeless and dejected I sat in silence, looking around at my fellow (hopefully) survivors, but then I heard the words that would or could maybe possible change my life forever.
"The Schizo Kaita's"
Or, I thought to myself. Or, The Hulktoro's
You misunderstood me
You didn't hear what I said
You're not listening LIKE MOST AMERICANS
Posted Jul 23 2013 - 12:22 AM
"Leader or no leaders, catchy team name or no catchy team name, let's at least get to where the other team can't see us anymore. It's kind of creeping me out," I suggested, following after a bouncing, curly-headed Arpy. The rocks were really close and I was feeling pretty hungry. I imagined the others were, as well, and in my experience ... when people are hungry, people get crazy. When people get crazy, then name-deciding goes out the window. Among other things that probably matter more.
In the meantime, water would help, but I knew from countless movies and books that drinking seawater was a stupid idea. I picked a small, smooth rock out of the sand. "I think we should mull over name ideas while working out things more relevant to our uh ... survival." I guffawed quietly at my wordplay. "Arpy, are there more of those freakishly large leaves? Also, we need to find a stream or something for water, and figure out if there's anything around that can be eaten. Fish, fruit that doesn't look deadly; you know. If you're feeling especially thirsty ..." (was I really going to say this) "... suck on a rock or something." (Yes. Yes I just did.)
I popped the stone in my mouth. Sucking on it would look very weird, but it would curb my thirst until we could find a good water source. I walked down to the water, studying the shallows.
"Uh, so who thinks they're good at catching fish?"
A very eventful evening ensued, but it was average camp-making fare. A few of the shelters fell over. It took forever to catch just a few fish, even after we did the thing with the sharp-ended sticks. We gave up trying to find coconuts, figuring we couldn't crack them open, anyway. Sumiki and Eeko eventually came back, a little tattered and pretty shaken. They wouldn't explain, but they carried a good amount of sticks. Starting a fire was a horrible, frustrating process that somehow happened. We forgot to look for a water source, but by the time someone remembered, nobody cared.
Maybe we'd settle on our team name later.
Edited by Hahli Husky, Jul 24 2013 - 11:50 PM.
thanks photobucket i ♥ my new sig
Posted Jul 23 2013 - 12:52 AM
Edited by Kakaru, Jul 23 2013 - 12:53 AM.
Posted Jul 23 2013 - 01:47 AM
[color=#cc6600;]You wandered into the eastern rocks with everyone except Eeko and Sumiki, who were still out looking for wood. The only wood you'd seen had been unreservedly part of the trees scattered around the area, and nobody had an axe. Still, there might have been some dead wood closer to the volcano--victim of past lava flows. If you didn't get a fire going tonight, well, your leaf would trap some of your body heat. You thought your tribe might need to move even further east if the other team tried anything tricky, but that lot was still bumming around on the beach last you'd seen."Arpy," Hahli Husky asked you, "are there more of those freakishly large leaves?""Leaf it to me!" you punned horribly, producing more leaves for each of the team plus a couple extra. However, producing them took some time, because you had to go back to the grove where you'd found the first one, and the breezes were tugging at your large pile of leaves all the way back. Of course, if you had had your subspace suitcase with you, you could have put an entire leafy tree inside and carried it around no problem, but it was being held hostage on the boat...so you scarpered off to get the leaves. Hahli Husky was too busy sucking on a rock to take much notice, and everyone else there was surely pondering tribal names. You were fine with Clikit Supertramps, honestly, though you also liked Glitterglau, because it reminded you of both glitter (which you liked) and Summer Glau (who was okay, but mainly notable in your mind as part of the crew of Serenity)."Don't you look at my Clikits," you hummed as you yanked more leaves down, "They're the only ones I've got." By the time you got back, it was definitely dark and probably pretty darn late. Strange noises had been coming at you from all over the island--some of them from this very campsite, you found. Hopefully the snoring would deter any predators in the area.They had eaten but neglected to leave you any leftovers. Moreover, there were no coconut shells in sight, which was a pity, because you could have totally used some if you ever needed to simulate the sound of a hooved steed. You were pleased to see that Eeko and Sumiki were sprawled on the ground, looking only a little worse for wear.The lot had forgotten to look for a clean water source, but that was all right. You'd brought back a couple extra leaves, and you thought you might be able to use them to collect dew or any rainwater that might fall. You scurried around for a while, collecting enough stones to weigh down the thick and springy leaves. Once you'd laid the leaves down in the tall grass to let them do their stuff, you wedged the remainders in between two rocks so everyone else could strengthen their shelters come morning and went deeper into the rocks to make one of your own.Truly, this was real Hatchet, My Side of the Mountain, James Fenimore Cooper type stuff.You found a rock alcove just large enough to fit you, though your fro would have to scrunch up. Three walls were already there ready-made, and you just needed to supply a fourth--which your giant leaf did without any problems. You leaned on the fourth wall, testing its integrity, but you weren't able to break through it. Those leaves were tough stuff.As you tried to drift off to sleep, your stomach twinged and brought you back. You'd had a good breakfast and second breakfast before leaving BZ-Koro for this Tohuforsaken island, but right about then an after-hours snack would have hit the spot, most assuredly. A wave of nostalgia shook you as you recalled fond memories of the Pixy Stix in old BZ-Koro and then you twitched as you realized that that was over ten years ago. Food, currency, and stimulants all in one...those were the days. But this was Voya-Nui, and Pixy Stix were thin on the ground. You tried drifting off again and this time succeeded, sad that you weren't drifting inside a Jaeger.[/color]
Edited by Arpy, Aug 03 2013 - 12:44 AM.
Posted Jul 23 2013 - 02:05 AM
I had forgotten that some Bionicle plants were more flammable than others. By that, I mean explosively so.
Luckily there were no serious injuries. I no longer had arm hair, and TMD's mask was still intact, if a little less shiny due to the smoke stains. But those would wipe off, no problem.
It was night. When did that happen? Had we decided on an exact name yet? I guess that would be discussed come morning.
Edited by xccj, Jul 23 2013 - 02:05 AM.
Posted Jul 23 2013 - 07:00 AM
[color=#800000;]Night fell, affording us a brilliant view of the stars above. Pretty, really. Hadn't seen stars like that in a while. We were huddled around the fire, now devoid of explosive plants (though I stuffed a few of them in my pocket, just in case). Warmth was nice enough, but this island needed exploring. Those untouched jungles needed to be touched. And I stood up, because I was up for the challenge.[/color]
[color=#800000;]"Boyscout," I said, nudging xccj with my foot, "let's go exploring. Spink, you can guard the fire. The Others don't have a boyscout so who knows what they'll do for fire. Might wanna sharpen a stick."[/color]
[color=#800000;]He nodded and I extended a hand to help xccj up. Grabbing a log and setting it ablaze into a Glorious Torch of Glory©, I headed West with xccj, because that was our territory. Now, my geography of Voya Nui wasn't that good, but from what I could remember from that year when we were promised we wouldn't be leaving — ever, it was roughly symmetrical along the vertical axis thing. We could either set up camp along the western peninsula, or up on the slopes of Mount Valamai. The peninsula offered seclusion, but the mountains a good view and proximity to a heat source.[/color]
[color=#800000;]The jungles were really dark and the Glorious Torch of Glory© only lit up so much of it. I could still see the beach behind us through the trees but it was becoming harder as we went on.[/color]
[color=#800000;]"Hey, xccj," I said, pronouncing each letter by name or whatever you call a letter, "you can navigate and stuff, right?"[/color]
"Please,"[color=#800000;] he replied with a flick of his wrist as if navigating was no big deal. True, navigating wasn't; getting lost was. But i trusted my boyscout buddy.[/color]
[color=#800000;]After another ten minutes of walking — thought it could have been anywhere between 5-20, I've never been good at approximating time — we found ourselves at a small brook. It wasn't one of those ominous rivers that actually had a trecherous undercurrent that would eat you alive (I'm looking at you, Bolton Strid). I brought the Glorious Torch of Glory© closer to it: it was clear. Refreshing looking. I handed xccj the torch and bent to take a sip of it. It tasted refreshing too. And clean.[/color]
[color=#800000;]"Why don't we follow this river?" I asked xccj as I took the Glorious Torch of Glory© back. "Always good to be near fresh water."[/color]
You and I we begin forever now
I still believe in us together
You and I we're here together now
Posted Jul 23 2013 - 09:05 AM
Posted Jul 23 2013 - 09:43 AM
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