I am ashamed of who I am.
My name is Gato, and I am ashamed of my bisexuality.
From a very young age I was taught by my parents that homosexuality was something of a great evil. Bad people were homosexuals, and they were bad people because of their homosexuality. While I wasn't taught explicitly to view homosexuals as as being inferior of me, the implication was always there that I was better than them. I was better than them just solely based off the fact that my sexuality was different than theirs. Since my parents never believed and still don't believe in bisexuality, that was never approached. However it still followed that bisexuals were in the same boat as the homosexuals.
This of course was flipped on its head when I realized that I was bisexual three years ago.
I probably would have realized it sooner had I grown up in a different environment than the one that espoused homophobia. Even one that was ambigulously neutral on the subject would have caused the realization much, much earlier. I would be lying if I were to say that it's easy. Even years later it's not an easy thing to be something when you've spent the past two decades having it engrained in you that what you are is something disgusting and evil. It's three years since I've realized I was a bisexual and even now images of gay couples make me uncomfortable. I know that it shouldn't, but even something as simple as two guys holding hands illicits an "Ick!" reaction from me despite the fact that they are representing something that I am. And this is just dealing with something that was on a personal level from my parents. I could go on about dealing with a culture that is by and large homophobic.
So please, people, don't be homophobic. Often you're doing more damage than you even realize.
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