Thrawn? But he's...He's a villain. Since the faces of my dream administration are Jefferson Smith, Atticus Finch, and George Bailey, he just doesn't fit in with the mix. The only thing that comes close is Caesar, but his villainy is debatable.

Anyway, this election turned out in favor of Atticus Finch. So I guess that makes George Bailey the VP, because dangit, he's still pretty darn good.

Well, with this election out of the way, it's time to go back to more traditional match-offs. This time I've chosen everyone's favorite green dudes in...

Yoda vs. The Hulk

Area of Competition: Death Match

Conditions: Yoda arrives just as Bruce Banner is halfway transformed into the Hulk in the middle of the Geonosis arena. The Geonosans are unwilling to help. They're all fleeing for their life, except for Kermit the Frog, who happens to be in the audience and sticks around with the full protection of plot magic for no particular reason other than that this scenario just needs one more green dude in the background. During this whole match-off, "The Rainbow Connection" is playing as the theme song.

Killing the Hulk as Bruce Banner counts.

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"Win, the hulk will not"

(Yoda)

Yoda! Sorry Bruce.

Yoda.

Yoda.

Yoda can throw aircraft carriers with the force, so he'll win easily.

Thrawn? But he's...He's a villain. Since the faces of my dream administration are Jefferson Smith, Atticus Finch, and George Bailey, he just doesn't fit in with the mix. The only thing that comes close is Caesar, but his villainy is debatable.

 

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He is a villain but isn't inherently evil, he just happens to join with the contemporary government, which is the Empire. If I remember correctly, everything he did was for a good (if rationalistic) reason. He was probably much less of a villain than Caesar. The important thing is that as the secretary of Defense, he would create an impregnable defense.

Yoda. For sure.

I'm voting Yoda as well.

Unfortunately, don't know enough about Thrawn, just that he's a competent Star Wars character on the side of the Empire.

But anyway, I might as well vote Yoda as well. Seriously, all he has to do is use the force to float Hulk off the ground by one foot and Hulk couldn't smash anything. Also, Hulk is considerably weaker minded than Bruce Banner, so while Bruce could resist Yoda's Jedi mind tricks, the Hulk could not, and Yoda could just make Hulk happy instead.

"Last, your anger cannot, for once angry, unangry I can make you."

But this line would be funny, too:

Yoda: "There is much fear I sense in you. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to - "

Hulk: "HULK SMASH!"

Depends on which Hulk, however.

If it's Green Hulk, yeah Yoda wins.

But if it's Grey Hulk / Joe Fixit, there's a chance he could hold his own.

Hulk wins.

Yoda raises Hulk into air, Hulk does thunderclap, Yoda loses concentration (not that he needs much, but I imagine holding a thrashing Hulk with the force would feel like trying to hold up a super-strong baby the size of a semi that has the wiggle worm), Hulk falls, Yoda stabs him, but it doesn't work because I remember seeing Wolverine stab Banner and he still survived. So Yoda can't kill the Hulk, but the Hulk can wear down Yoda, because unlike the Hulk, he doesn't recharge with anger.

Green Hulk. I tried to make that one pretty clear. I mean, I specifically chose these two because they're both top-notch green dudes.

So it looks like Yoda won this round. Next round is...

Yoda vs. T1000

Area of Competition: Death Match.

Conditions: The fight takes place in the Geonosis arena. The Geonosans are chearing like maniacs and a stupid pop singe of your choice is in the audience with a giant target across his or her chest.

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Yoda. I'm not sure who T1000 is, but yoda is just plain awesome.

The T1000 is from Terminator 2. Hmm, I knew there was something to be clarified.

<span style='color: #0000ff'>The T1000 is from Terminator 2. Hmm, I knew there was something to be clarified.</span>

 

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Ah. Never watched that one. But I'm still voting yoda. Lightsabers>guns

Yoda. An ionized plasma beam in a magnetic sheath must offput such a ludicrous heat that there is no way the steel mill at the end of T2 is hotter. Ergo, a lightsaber should have no difficulty cutting him up.

Yoda always wins.

Yoda. T1000 is just another droid, haha.

I remember Mace Windu machine gunning through armies of super battle droids with his fist, and Yoda is his superior.

Yoda wins.

Yoda. Robots don't last all that long against him, I've heard tell.

Yoda. Always.

Yeah, Yoda, I think the force is a better weapon than anything the robot would have.

Well, it looks like these last two rounds turned out overwhelmingly in favor of Yoda. Now to put him up against a potential equal and see who truly is the toughest mentor of all time.

Yoda vs. Gandalf

Area of competition: Death Match

Conditions: The scene contains Middle Earth scenery with John Williams music. You can't get any more epic than that. They both have their standard weapons. The Gangalf in question is Gandalf the White.

The scene contains Middle Earth scenery with John Williams music. You can't get any more epic than that.

I'm going to disagree. Middle Earth is the realm for Howard Shore's music. While I'm sure John Williams could have come up something grand for those movies...Mr. Shore is almost half the reason why they're so loved.

So yeah, Howard Shore would be far more epic than John Williams for this setting.

Hey, it's a crossover. You have Yoda and Gandalf in the same place. You need some mixing of the elements. For this particular scenario, I think it works. Just imagine for a moment them fighting in the mountains with "Duel of the Fates" playing. It's still pretty epic.