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IC: BarükWhat the... The Toa of Gravity was completely perplexed by the turn of events. Evidently someone had thought the play was so terrible that he decided to start shooting flaming arrows at the stage. Shrugging, Barük turned his attention from the burning stage to a pair of beings dueling - one he recognized as an actor, the other he assumed was the one who had shot the arrows. This is far more entertaining than that sorry excuse for a musical anyway.

IC: Lekua"Obviously not, or I'd have said-mentioned something," the Le-Matoran muttered, too quietly to be heard.OOC: Enough of this already.After a few minutes of fruitless searching, the street suddenly became unexpectedly congested - due, it soon became clear, to none other than an Akaku-wearing Le-Matoran in teal armor being confronted by a pair of Onu-Matoran wearing the distinctive garb of the Ussalry. "Guys, I think I found him," Lekua said unnecessarily.

Is the musical still going on?

I have copied the first two chapters and placed them in a word document, along with my corrections of grammatical errors. Things added are highlighted in yellow, things that should be removed are highlighted in green. I also added a few comments about ways I thought it could be improved.Basic rules of grammar change rarely, if ever. Only trivial things - like whether the possessive form of "James" is "James's" or "James'" - change.When I'm undecided on whether to read something, I pick it up off the shelf and read the first chapter. If it's interesting and makes me want to keep reading - usually by mysteriously introducing the villain, cryptically hinting at later plot developments, or placing the protagonist in an action-packed and/or suspenseful situation - I take it to the front of the library and check it out. If it starts off too slow, I just put it back on the shelf and look for something else.

IC: BarükKarz. Catching the disc in his hand, Barük glared at the Matoran, considering his options. He could easily take a single Matoran, he knew, but if he made a scene, he would likely have the entire Gukko Force all over him before you could say "cacahuates." He could distract her by directing her attention to the dead Matoran, but that would probably lead to questions over why he hadn't reported that sooner, questions he really didn't want to answer...or he could pay.Sighing, the Toa of Gravity dug out a few widgets and tossed them to the Matoran. "Whatever." On an impulse, he tripled the gravitational force on the disc before dropping that down to the Matoran as well. "Don't forget this."OOC: EDIT: I see that you've moved on, so just ignore this.

Word may think the story's grammar is correct, but according to actual rules of grammar it's pretty much as incorrect as incorrect can be. The grammar is a major issue, as it makes it difficult and tedious to read.In addition, there is nothing about the story thus far that makes me want to read more of it. A hero was built. That's it. You said that that's the point, but the point is that that shouldn't be the point. There has to be more to it than that.

It's currently in the works and should be done soon. There are currently 4 evil followers of Makuta there so if you want to tempt fate and deal with them, be my guest But what will it look like when it's done? (Also, my character is an evil follower of Makuta).*cough cough*

Aww, that's too bad.Xemnas: I believe we're waiting for The Dreadful Flying Glove to post as Lepidran.

I accidentally clicked the "Mark forum as read" button for Media Discussion. Is there a way to undo this? Thanks.

And as Nuju crashes the musical and destroys your souls, Barük will be happily sitting on the roof of a nearby hut, eating a stolen bag of peanuts.

I found a pretty good explanation of how the third split could work. Unfortunately, I can't link to it, as it's on a site with forums, but you should be able to find it by Googling "Explaining the Third Split in the Official Zelda Timeline." The explanation is summed up in this paragraph: At that point, of course, the events of OoT occur again, creating the Adult Timeline, and Zelda sends Link back to his childhood, creating the Child Timeline.

IC: BarükAs the musical continued, Barük found that it was quickly losing its appeal.Worse, he had run out of peanuts. He scanned the crowd until he saw a Matoran making his way through the aisles. The Matoran appeared to be selling bags of the snack. But why pay when you can do this? As the Matoran passed near the hut on which he was sitting, Barük reversed the gravity of one of the bags of peanuts. The Matoran continued on, oblivious. Smiling, Barük reached out, grabbed the bag, and cracked one of the shells open. Tossing the nut into his mouth, he returned his attention to the play.

^That's correct.Also, could someone give me a plot summary of the musical thus far? I don't have time to read the two pages I missed.

An image of the timeline (in English) can be found here.

Yes, keep in mind that the Makuta were scientists. They were simply curious to see what they could make, and did so for no other purpose than to express creativity. (Until they became corrupt, of course).Also, I don't think it would be accurate to say that a Toa's main job was to protect Matoran from Rahi. Most Rahi are like real-world animals; for the most part, they avoid us if they can. Some powerful Rahi may occasionally become crazed due to disease or what have you, but from what I understand that's not a very common occurrence, and there are also other measures in place (i.e. Vahki) to prevent that from happening.

It's currently in the works and should be done soon. There are currently 4 evil followers of Makuta there so if you want to tempt fate and deal with them, be my guest But what will it look like when it's done? (Also, my character is an evil follower of Makuta).

Just give them robotic legs.Also, EW will find a way to destroy you all no matter what you do or where you go.

IC: Barük"What the karz..." the Toa of Gravity muttered as the actors vanished backstage. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever had the misfortune to witness. Someone had obviously had a little too much to drink when he thought this up. Still, there was something oddly compelling about the musical's insanity...Barük shoveled another fistful of peanuts into his mouth, waiting for the musical to resume.

All seem like good ideas. A VahkiPower skin would be cool as well, and possibly a few holiday-themed skins.EDIT: This would be awesome. Hope someone's got a lot of time on their hands...

Personally, I enjoyed Lanayru Mining Facility, mainly due to the use of Timeshift Stones, though I agree that it did get confusing at points.Overall, I thought SS fell somewhat short of the hype due mainly to the lacking overworld. Zelda has always been a balance of puzzles and exploration, and I feel that SS was tilted far more toward the former. People always go on about the linearity of Twilight Princess, but I found SS to be just as linear, if not more. Sure, there's a lot to see in a region the first time you go there, but that doesn't mean there's a lot to do. Not to mention that there were only three different locales in the game, and they weren't connected in any way. At the very least, they should have connected the areas and added ice and water regions. I mean, you can't even explore Lake Floria, it's just, "Dive off the platform and land in the lake! Oh wait the current's too strong into the tunnel you go sorry."Fi was also a contributing factor - you're running low on hearts, so you start flashing red, and if that isn't enough, the game's making an annoying beeping noise at you. Other games left it at than, but no, Fi has to make an even more annoying beeping noise to let you know that it's beeping to let you know that you're flashing red to let you know that you're low on hearts.The music was part of it, too - they focused more on creating epic, sweeping pieces than on simple, catchy tunes that you have stuck in your head for days and still enjoy every minute of it. Not that I didn't like the music, it's just that the music is only good while you're playing the game rather than something you actually take away from the experience. Orchestral music doesn't have to be this way, either - just look at ZREO.Overall, though, SS was still a great game, just not as good as I thought it would be. Majora's Mask still takes first in my mind.

What exactly does the villain hideout in the Charred Forest look like? I have an evil Toa of Magnetism headed that way.

Yeah, Ancient Cistern was probably the best dungeon in SS, due in to small part to the boss fight.