Constructelf

IC: Lytrel "What? No, Lytrel is - agh, forget it." Lytrel began pacing around the room, wondering what to say. "So, Lytrel. Do you know the way out of here? Is there anything behind that mirror?"

IC: Lytrel "... So a magic mirror. Okay." ... "At least if I'm stuck down here forever I won't go insane from isolation." ... "So, hi. I'm, well... Apparently the Queen calls me 'Lytrel'. That probably isn't my real name, but whatever. You?"

IC: Lytrel Lytrel jumped back a few paces. "Um..." Okay. How would he go about this? "... Who's the fairest of them all?" If this really was a magic mirror...

IC: Lytrel "Odd." Was the mirror warped? Lytrel looked closer to the spot on the mirror showing the distorted reflection, checking to see if the glass indeed was warped or if it was perfectly flat andore sinister forces were at play.

IC: Lytrel Taking a few steps forward, Lytrel inspected the mirror on the wall. Maybe there was something on the other side? If he could break the glass...

IC: Sudrec "... Ah. Audio recording tech. Sounds familiar...? Though in my cycle universe, we never used it to record music." "And yeah. Here for a mech. It's a machine i used maybe 100000 years ago; I'm kinda ordering it more out of nostalgia than anything else..." Sudrec cast a long look at the drooping form of Eryard, who had submitted his completed form to Dreisen and was now walking off. "Nostalgia, huh..."

IC: Sudrec Eryard's transmission had been two-way. Long after the Fire Glatorian had gone to fill in his forms, Sudrec was still standing here in shock. "... It could have ended like that?" He wanted to talk to his old CO, but Eryard didn't seem to be in a conversational mood right now. So he simply got a form from the desk and went to a corner to fill it out. As he was filling out the form he spotted Risks and waved. "Hey. How did last round go for you?" The tired tone of his voice implied that it didn't go so well for the Great Being, though it might have also have something to do with the fact that he just witnessed a freakin' apocalypse through his CO's eyes. ... "What's that there?" Sudrec asked, pointing at the record Riss was holding. "Never seen one of those before."

IC: Eryard "Different universes, different universes..." What did that Ma-TOR-an mean by that? Anyways, there had been an announcement for some sort of mech construction. All fighters that wanted one were to report to "Engineering". Reaching the lower levels, I began muttering to myself. "Mechs, mechs, mechs... Would that count?" 1050000 years before the Shattering, the first year of the first War of the Enemy: "She might not be a beut, but ###### does she handle like a dream." The Head Mechanic had been giving the newly promoted Lieutenant Eryard a tour of the new prototype. A "Thornatus", they had called it. This particular model was the armored version, covered in thick Exsidian-alloy plate and crystal where the regular models featured an open cockpit. "This will be your Platoon's new recon vehicle, though it can definitely take down a few Enemies in open combat if need be. Take it for a spin." A curious Eryard turned on the engine... ***************************** 102500 thousand years ago, the second year of the Third War of the Enemy"Coming in too hot! Bracing for imp-" And there went Obb from W-4 Platoon. Sighing, Eryard shifted gears and worked his way through the trees, careful not to slam his vehicle into a tree and suffer the same, unfortunate fate as the new guy. Though, he was piloting a Kaxium... Thankfully, the trees were beginning to thin. They would be driving or more hospitable terrain soon - "Enemy contact! Enemy contact! ENEMY CONTACT!" This wasn't in briefing. Did they learn our movements? As the trees thinned, the combined forces of F-3, W-4, and Ir-1 raced out to meet the enemy... ***************************** 99000 years before the Shattering, the seventh year of the Tenth War of the Enemy. It was gone. Everything was gone. Marendar-5, the last stronghold, the last hope of Spherus Magna, had fallen. In one final master stroke, the Enemy had managed to eliminate the High Command of the United Army. All but three of their generals, dead. How they did it, no one knew. But did anyone care at this point? Eryard had managed to succeed in evacuating a handful of refugees from the city, but where would they go? The entire planet belonged to the Enemy now. It would only be weeks, if not days, before the Enemy would find the survivors and put the final nail in the coffin. Nobody from F-3 was left, none of the Iron Riders had survived. Noble Lyndae, kind Tyrax, and brave, brave but foolish Sudrec, the last remnants of the force, now nothing more than dust in the wind, having given their lives for an ultimately lost cause. They were gone, and soon, everything on this planet would join them. Soon, there would only be the Enemy. Even the Thornatus, Eryard's noble chariot, had at long last given up its ghost. A broken suspension, a leaking fuel tank, a shattered battery; it was now nothing more than a useless pile of scrap. Just like all of us... It was gone. All of it was gone. So why should he remain? Why should he survive to witness the end of a story he already knew? It would be more honorable to say his final goodbyes now, and join his companions across the veil. ... Eryard threw a lit match into the leaking fuel tank. But he never got to burn. ***************************** If I could... Maybe if I could take her out... Relive those days? "Sir?" A familiar voice. I spun around and spotted a cloaked figure staring at me "Captain Eryard? It's me. Corporal Sudrec. Remember?" He was here. But he died. He fell in Marendar-5. And yet here he was, an old man. A silent "what" escapes my lips. ... How? Without warning, I surge forward and grabbed his wrists, activating the telepathic implants in my body. A war won. An Enemy defeated. Iron giants and iron spiders, piloted by the most valiant warriors of the land, laying waste to the eldritch forms of the Enemy. ***************************** 99000 thousand years before the Shattering, the end of the Wars of the Enemy. "Well, that was a rousing success," a cloaked being says to another similarly clothed, but younger individual. "Truth be told, I was actually expecting the Combat Exosuits to fail. I had thought the bipedal systems inefficient and downright stupid. Evidently I was wrong." "Well, somebody in Engineering is throwing a wild party tonight. As are all of the men and women who lived to see the end of this and beat back the Enemy." "Indeed. I for one am glad I could play a part." The older of the two beings sighed, his posture sagging. "You know, I was worried about you. Recklessly running off with the Riders like that; a Great Being ought to conduct himself in different manner." He gave a small chuckle and straightened out his posture. "Oh well. I suppose all's well that ends well." The two beings walked side by side in silence, before the younger of the two spoke up. "... Brother Heremus." "Yes, Brother Sudrec?" "What if we could build a robot like the Exosuits, but bigger? ***************************** ... Was this true? Was there some place, some storybook reality, where the Enemy didn't consume Spherus Magna? Was there some realm where he, and all the others, survived? I looked down at my feet, not sure what to think. "... You're not the Sudrec I know." Sullenly, I turned away from the now-old man, looking between the cold, hard ground and the piece of paper in my hand. While I was happy for this version of Sudrec... It could have been different for my world. It could have been a happy ending. "It could have been..." Staring down at the sheet of paper, I finally begin making markings on its white surface. Mech Name: Thornatus-AR V1. Pilot Name: Eryard. ... "One more time, old girl..."

IC: Yoko "A mech..." "Haruka, do you think they can do partially organic mechs here?" ;You're kidding, right?; Yoko stayed silent for a moment, then wrote down the details of her requested mech on the form. ;... You're seriously gonna wear a copy of my skin as your powered armor. "Figured you'd like the opportunity to have a body again," Yoko said in response as she submitted her form. IC: Tomo "Hmmmmmmmmmmm..." "Oh, I know!" Tomo had a very unconventional idea for a mech. And she submitted that unconventional idea. She wasn't even sure if it could be called a "mech" at all. But she didn't care. OOC: Yoko and Tomo mech requests submitted; will do Eryard and Sudrec later.

IC: Lytrel Lytrel continued to crawl. IC: Yoko ;Perhaps you should check out these mechs,; Haruka spoke in Yoko's head, as the powerless Toa picked herself up off of the hospital bed. ;They could be useful. Yoko nodded and began heading down there. IC: Tomo (back in default form) "Uuuuuugh..." "Wait, I'm not Coco anymore?" ... "... I can't run into Naona like this..." The mention of mechs over the intercom took Tomo's thoughts away from the young Toa of Stone, however, as her feet began taking her down to this new Engineering level.

I believe the Host announced it at the beginning of Round 3. If not the Engineering Sector itself, then the mechs at least.

IC: Sudrec (medbay to engineering via knowledge sector) "Blargle..." Picking himself up off the bed, Sudrec exited Medical and wandered around, reflecting on the events of the previous round. Eventually, he found himself at the library, flipping through random books. The Host mentioned mechs... 100000 years Before the Shattering... "A new Exosuit for the Platoon?" A younger, more innocent Sudrec stared up at the Combat Exosuit in the hanger. It looked similar to the ones that he had built, maintained, and piloted before, but it was somewhat different... "... 'Combining the functionality of the Bipedal and the Quadrupedal model'. So it can walk on both two and four limbs?" Unlike the previous designs Sudrec had encountered before with their blocky, square shapes, this one had curves. Slim, slender, this one had a form that screamed grace and agility. "... Combat Hybrid Locomotion Exosuit Type-03." ... "... I could use that." Sudrec began heading over to the newly announced Engineering sector, taking a book on mech designs from his world with him. He had a very specific request...

My first impression: WoW. My second impression: Minecraft + WoW. My third impression: Civilization + Minecraft + Wow. This RPG seems to be a hybrid of the RTS games that once were common in OTC, and regular RPGs. There is a large focus on resource collection and strategic usage of these resources; but instead of controlling an entire faction to yourself, you play as a single character with maybe other PCs and Matoran NPCs under you. Interesting. OK, with that out of the way, here are some random thoughts: The first paragraph of your species section mentsions Steltians as a playable race, but for the rest of the post, it mentions Makuta. You might want to fix that. I noticed that a lot of the skills are working with your hands... As a member of the nobility, why exactly would you be working with your hands? Don't you have, you know, peasants or serfs who do this stuff for you? Why would a King be cooking his own food, making his own weapons, or brewing his own alcohol? Or do these skills represent your peasants capabilities rather than your own? When I took a look at the approved elements, vision powers, and mask list, I couldn't help but notice it looked a little... Arbitrary. Couldn't identify a common pattern. Is there any reason why you chose the powers you did? Conflict between rival Knights and Kings is mentioned. Is there any specific mechanism for going to war? Will there be any big thousand man battles with NPC soldiers, or will it just be Knights slugging it out by themselves? Or maybe inter-Knight conflict doesn't involve overt war at all but is just political jockeying between those with the Intrigue skill? I'll think of more stuff later.

IC: Eryard "Different... Universes?" IC: Sudrec Sudrec opened his eyes. He was in the medbay, on a bed. On reflex, he reached for his left arm. Still there... "... Well that stunk." IC: Hagah Meanwhile, Hagah, having made his way from the medbay to the commercial sector, was trying to distract himself from his loss with a big bowl of salad.

IC: Sudrec Another stab wound. More pain. More silent laughter. The world fading... Must have been stabbed in a major artery. ... Going, going... Gone. OOC: Sudrec KO'd by Kat (and maybe Maccha?)

OOC: Hi Fota, and welcome to BZP. Since you're a new member, I don't think you can receive PMs yet. As such, I sorta have to do this on the board. To cut straight to the point, there are a few problems in your post. First off, before you actually start playing, you have to submit your profile for approval in the discussion topic. Chro, Lucina, or A/NA Blade will take a look at it and get back to you in a day or two, telling you if it's approved; or if it isn't, what you can fix.Secondly, what you're doing by manipulating the Enforcer and the Queen's speech and actions is called "bunnying". Since those characters belong to different people (Blade and Lucina respectively), it is in bad taste and against the rules (specifically Rule 3 in this RPG) to dictate their actions as if they were your own characters. As well, both of them are currently indisposed (Enforcer is fighting in the arena under the pseudonym Elly, Queen is away from the facility).Third: fighters usually don't arrive in the arena like that. Normally, they get teleported in from thier home universe, wake up in a containment cube of sorts, and get the Host's recording (the italicized text at the beginning of the original post) played to them, after which they are released to wander the facility. They do not encounter the Enforcer or the Queen immediately after arrival.I would encourage you to reread the first post of the RPG to get a hold of the lore and the rules. As well, it is a good idea to observe other people's posts to get a feel for how text-based RPGs here work. Finally, go to the discussion topic (linked in my first bullet) and submit your profile for approval. IC: Lytrel Lytrel shrugged and crawled through the tunnel.

IC: Sudrec 0:02- "What the..." Left arm... Gone. Large stab wound in torso. 0:01 A silent laugh escaped Sudrec's lips. 0:00 The hardlight plates around Sudrec's body disappeared even as he weakly threw a haymaker at Maccha with his remaining arm. "Die... Die, die, die, die die die die die..." The mantra of madness silently marched from the lips of the Divine Annihilator, the sounds of silence falling like raindrops. When Sudrec had arrived in this place, he had been saved from a slow agonizing death of being crushed by falling rocks and earth. He had told himself that since he had died once, his deaths in the arena would be easier to bear. It seems he was wrong. At this rate, it would never get easier. Losing blood... Fast... Can't breath...

Changes from the original marked in red.

IC: Sudrec 0:05 The sword struck the hardlight plates of Sudrec's armor. Luckily, it didn't seem to be able to fond a gap; the sword struck one of the plates dead-on and glanced off of the solid energy. 0:04 The Seeking Blade flew from Sudrec's hand and surged towards Maccha's center of mass, Sudrec taking a step back to put more range between the two of them as the he let the dagger fly. 0:03 Sudrec reached for a new battery pack to reload his vest with as the timer that hailed the armor turning off neared zero.

IC: Sudrec Opponent (Maccha) throws a punch. Left arm goes to block it with an outside block; right arm grabs the Seeking Blade. Rifle is dropped in the process. As left arm redirects punch, right arm stand at opponent's body with an icepick grip. IC: Eryard "... I don't recall any of that happening where I came from." What is this Ma-To-Ran talking about?

IC: Eryard So she knows what I am. That's a relief. Only need to ask for her side of the story. ... Of course, I could just use my touch telepathy ability, but she probably wouldn't appreciate it. As such, I decided to ask the old-fashioned way. "... If you wouldn't mind me asking, what exactly are you? I've never seen your species before... Or half the species here."

IC: Sudrec It seemed that by some fluke, Sudrec's sights were calibrated correctly for the distance between this shouting lunatic and himself. Said shouting lunatic was also charging towards him. Sudrec made a misguided attempt to redirect the sword slash away from his body with his rifle, though he had also sidestepped away from the direction of Maccha's slash so as to not be caught in its arc. The Seeking Blade glew brightly, but did not emerge from its sheath as Sudrec was too distracted with staying alive to actively summon it. Not much armor time left; need to insert a new battery pack... EDIT: IC: Eryard Seeing one of these "Robotic Agori" (that was the name I had given to these strange creatures as I didn't know what they were actually called) wave to me, I warily waved back. "... Hi there."

IC: Sora *twitch* *twitch* "Look, if you're gonna be an about this, why did you even volunteer to come? I'm starting to regret voting Mazex off..." Sora's EDD glew brighter as telekinetic energy formed around her hands. Sighing, she looked around at the crew, then at Zeleran. "... Well, if worst comes to worst, we can always use his body as emergency rations if your supplies run out. Just need a stove, a pot, and some water..."

IC: Sudrec "Aye!" Just as the Makuta was teleported out of the Arena by the Infinite System, Sudrec fired off a short burst of his particle rifle at the screaming warrior (Maccha). (Of course, he didn't have enough time to calibrate the sights, so there was a very good chance that he'd miss.)

IC: Sora ... "You sound like you're in great pain. Should I end it?" The EDD on Sora's neck flashed.