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Dokuma

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  3. Dokuma
    Well, I expect to be flooded out immediately by the tidal wave of non-Premier blogs and others who have returned to the newly restored boards. But nevertheless, I've been waiting to post this for quite some time. Enjoy.
     

    Part II
    Written by: Dokuma
     
    Act I, Scene II
     
    (The Flargenshmop Vikings moonwalk through the treacherous mountain ranges of Iceland as the sun sets and the Northern Lights come into view. In spite of the aching of their backs and the bedazzlement of their accessories, they press onward towards the Hollow of The Great Woolly Mammoth)
     
    Ho, ho, ho, to the Woolly Mammoth we go
    He’s not our foe, the Pillsbury Doughboy should know
    Hut, hut, hut, the Flargenshmop shall survive,
    We march on, for The Great Woolly Mammoth is nigh!
    Aaaaaa-meeeeeen
     
    (Fulifiluths starts coughing, then spits up one who appears to be none other than Mr. Henkhenblimp)
     
    Mr. Henkhenblimp: Why, thank you for so much for taking me along, good Fulifiluths. And, if I may say so, your quick-thinking in hiding me from the salesmen trolls of the southern march was brilliant!
     
    Fulifiluths: Why, my amphibious comrade, it appears we have arrived! And none too soon!
     
    (Before the group appears The Great Woolly Mammoth, also known as Sir Stinkeye Mammoofothigus, whose very sight strikes terror in the hearts of his people, not only because of his polka obsession, but because of his one extremely large eye. A council of baby Mammoths with angelic wings gather around him. The Great Mammoth’s back is to the Flargenshmop, and earbuds are in his mighty fanlike ears)
     
    Random flying mammoth: Ho, travelers! Who has disturbed our comedic brainstorming session?!
     
    Fulifiluths : We seek the pertinent counsel of the Woolly Mammoth! For the land flowing with strudel also flowed with country music! Your doughboy committed mutiny against us with his obnoxious playlist!
     
    (The entire council of flying Mammoths stop, mouths agape and eyes widened. One of the creatures—Herfeldooger, by name—approaches Fulifiluths quietly)
     
    Herfeldooger: Good Fulifiluths! Woe to you, for your inconsiderate ramblings, inconsiderate as the beak up via text message!
     
    Fulifiluths: Who are you, o tusked one?
     
    Herfeldooger: I am Herfeldooer, surveyor of primate aquatic breathing apparatuses and overseer of goldfish executions! What you have spoken against shall surely get you killed (or at least smacked around a good bit)… The Great Mammoofothigus loves country music!
     
    (The Great Sir Stinkeye Mammoofothigus turns around and faces the warriors of Flargenshmop, revealing his iPod and Charlie Daniels t-shirt)
     
    The Great Mammoth: Did somebody say something?
     
    Herfeldooger: Sire, these odorous Nordishmen! They blaspheme the royal genre!
     
    The Great Mammoth: Such behavior cannot go unpunished! This crime demands a façade of a trial and a speedy execution… or at least a good bit of smacking around!
     
    (The Great Mammoth sees Mr. Henkhenblimp sitting on the shoulder of Fulifiluths)
     
    The Great Mammoth: You…! Son of my honorable accountant, Mr. Tad Pole! You collude with these fiendish bath-haters? Flying elephantine servants, take this odious amphibian hostage!
     
    (Mr. Henkhenblimp is grabbed and taken away by the flying mammoths, who are heavily armed with pillows and other plush items)
     
    The Great Mammoth: Fulifiluths! For your babbling you must pay. Men of the Flargenshmop, hear me! You have but one day to do a great task for me, or Mr. Henkhenblimp will surely be smacked around a good deal! O’er yonder in the Mountains of Melodrama is the world’s largest raisin tree. Bring me its prunely fruits, and I shall at last be able to make the greatest Raisin Bran in the tri-state area! Go!
     
    Shady figure watching from afar: We’ll see about that!
     
    Cue dramatic music...
     

    TO BE CONTINUED
  4. Dokuma

    Dok's A Playa? O_o

    By Dokuma,

    T'would appear that a certain girl named "T" (see the Tuesday Five) has a thing for a certain Dokkeh.
     
    *writes part 2 of the musical*
     
    Also
     
    YAY OLMAK
     
    By the way, one line that I wrote in part two of the musical this morning... I normally don't ever laugh out loud any anything I write, simply because it's been rolling around in my head for a while already, but after I worked out and took a shower and came back to read it, boy did it crack me up. xD
  5. Dokuma

    Hey Now

    By Dokuma,

    We've been rewatching old seasons of 24 since season 7 ended a couple months ago, and we finally finished 1-5 two nights ago (we refuse to rewatch 6 or 7 because... well, they were terrible). So last night I was like...
     
    ...well, huh, there aren't really any other shows on TV that I like anymore. =O
  7. Dokuma

    Lolsday Five

    By Dokuma,

    This isn't a question, but I just read part one of [0.o]: The Musical. It rocks. xDWhat's the dumbest thing you've done lately?There are two girls I'm considering asking out. We'll call them T and E. Which one should I ask out? (That's right, that's the only information you get. )Guess how many panels of his comic Nid has made after working on it for like all year. I know the answer. >: DFREE INDOOR BUNGEE JUMPING... IN A MUSIC STORE
  8. Dokuma
    Part I
    Written by: Spitty

    Scene I

    (It is a dark, dreary day. The sea toads quietly hum their toady tunes as they scuffle along the rough, barren coast of Iceland. A glorious mountain range runs along the right side of the sea-dwelling amphibians, while the sea occupies the right side.)

    Toads, toads, toads, toads,
    We prance along the sea coast like the Roman roads
    Toads, toads, toads, toads,
    We swagger ‘round the water while we wait for the server to load(s)

    (As the toads continue to frolic on the icy soil, a sound is suddenly heard. What could this be? Mr. Henkhenblimp, leader of the rogue group of toads, turns. What he sees is a ship approaching from sea! His Adam’s apple drops so quickly that the average American couldn’t open a can of Chef Boyardee in a faster span of time. The leader of the toads realizes that this ship contains the supposed-ferocious tribe of Vikings known as the Flargenshmop! Mr. Henkhenblimp isn’t your ordinary Little Bo Peep, and gathers his hoppy creatures closely and quickly.)

    Toad #1: Could it be?

    Mr. Henkhenblimp: Yes, fellow friend, it appears after finally finding the Fountain of Endless Toaster Strudels the Flargenshmop have returned.

    (Now, time for a little history lesson. Long before Kevin Bacon was born the Flargenshmop tribe had departed their home country of Iceland in hopes of brighter futures. However, there was a myth that drove them in their dangerous quest. The Flargenshmop people were once running very low on their rations of popular breakfast cereals. Seeking help, they consulted The Great Woolly Mammoth. Woolly instructed them that the only way more breakfast items could be obtained is if they rode on the backs of his mammoth counterparts across the Norwegian Sea until they found the Fountain of Endless Toaster Strudels. Woolly did point out that although this would not be cereal, but it would be endless and obviously last forever. Soon after, the Flargenshmop departed on their epic quest, departing with only garbage bags and two microwaves.)

    Toad #2: I thought they left for Toaster Strudels!

    Toad #1: Surely they didn’t grow tired of the ooey gooeyness only offered by Pilsbury!

    Mr. Henkhenblimp: I’m not sure why they have returned…but…(as the ship maneuvers through the shoreline waves, getting closer faster than a submarine after eating twelve sugar packets)…it might be best if we asked them what in the name of over-sized bed bugs they want.

    (The ship reaches land, and a single Viking appears on the bow, with a sousaphone pressed against his lips. He expels a breath of air, and a mighty bellow echoes throughout the coast, ricocheting off mountains, toads, and any community swimming pools in sight. Seconds after, a door opens on the side of the ship. Ten Vikings soon charge out of the hull like horses at The Kentucky Derby. Leading them out is their fearless leader, Fulifiluths! Riding his noble mammoth-steed Winkbottom, they cry out their song!)

    We are the Viking tribe Flargenshmop
    We fear absolutely no one!
    Its hard to get a tan
    Because there’s hardly any sun!
    The Toaster Strudels were quite yummy
    Their icing pleased the intestines and tummy!
    Don’t hear us wrong the fountain was flowing
    But the Pilsbury Doughboy was too annoying!

    (Gasps are heard by the tiny amphibian creatures as the Vikings charge right at them, but then freeze in their tracks. Fulifiluths leaps off his steed, and positions himself directly in front of Mr. Henkhenblimp.)

    Fulifiluths: Why hello there, my froggy friends! (The toads gasp)

    Mr. Henkhenblimp: Fulifiluths, why have you returned? Did the toaster strudels grow bland? Did the batteries to the fountain die? Is this real life?

    Fulifiluths: Uh…didn’t you listen to our song, silly eater of bugs? When we showed up, the Pilsbury Doughboy was there, and he was alright at first…but, oh…after a while, it just got too annoying!

    Toad #2: What? Please explain, oh wearer of fuzzy tusky hats?

    Fulifiluths: You see, he soon got this obsession with a genre of music known as “country”. And as you might have guessed, we Vikings don’t listen to such nonsense! We like music that talks about slaying and mammoths crushing stuff! Tell them more, Fretililiop!

    (Fretililiop is Fulifiluths’ right hand man. A tall, husky figure, he quietly moves to the front of the Flargenshmop)

    Fretililiop: It was terrible! Me ears have not had so much pain in my life!

    Fulifiluths: Exactly. So we have returned to Iceland to ask The Great Wooly Mammoth for advice again! Surely he knows how this epidemic can be stopped!

    Viking #1: And so we can enjoy the flaky goodness of toaster strudels again!

    Fulifiluths: Precisely. Now, Mr. Toady McToad, please let us pass, for The Great Wooly Mammoth is not far! (points to a glowing beacon on top of Mt. Ficklyfoo, not far from were the very strange looking group of Vikings and toads are gathered) We must receive his advice immediately!

    (As the toads disperse to allow the Flargenshmop tribe to pass through, a watchful eye observes the group departing to seek wisdom of The Great Woolly Mammoth. The figure stands on top of a nearby mountain, and he knows that the Flargenshmop are the only foes in his way from achieving… the secret recipe for Perfect Raisin Bran!)

    Cue dramatic music…

    TO BE CONTINUED...
  11. Dokuma
    At the place I work (the local music store, a small business 'bout a mile from the Dok Lair), we recently moved all the product out of one room to make room for what is going to be a performance area for gigs, clinics, jam sessions, and so forth.
     
    Well, my boss asked us three employees of his (among whom I have the most seniority, wowomglol) to write down some of our ideas for the space. Keep in mind, it's a music store.
     
    Below are some highlights from what one teenage female coworker came up with:

     
    True story.
  13. Dokuma

    I Did It

    By Dokuma,

    now a tuesday five

    What was your best display name ever? What is your favorite display name that you have ever seen on this website? How are things with you? What's the most fun you've had in a while? What can I do to earn your vote in 2012? (Whig party, of course)
  16. Dokuma

    Hey Guys

    By Dokuma,

    What do you think of the revelation of the EOP's true name? (use spoiler tags I guess)
    » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «It totally should have been Akua Magna. English FTL*Extreme busyness this week = failWhat internet meme do you really want to get off your chest right now?What site should I upload my Billy Mays videos to that I would be allow to link to on BZ? Photobucket?What are you wishing for right now?lol 6th question!  
     
    *
    » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «Sorta like how Akua Nui was used in that old faulty TRU.com book description to describe Mahri Nui prior to 2007. yes i remember that
  17. Dokuma

    Milly Bays

    By Dokuma,

    This week's theme is BZPower!
     
    You know, last year I saw Billy Mays at Seaworld. He was sitting on a scooter thing with a little girl on his lap watching some moronic street clowns. Billy seemed to understand that the clowns were moronic, and he drove away looking unamused. Either that, or he realized I was videotaping him.
  25. Dokuma

    Introducing...

    By Dokuma,

    Introducing another Oofo blog exclusive gimmick... ask Dokuma anything!
     
    Every Monday I'll post an entry such as this with a theme to kick you guys off. Ask me anything in your comment and I'll respond! Could you ask for anything better?! (Yes.)
     
    This week's theme is... music! How appropriate, considering... well, okay, not considering anything, actually.
     
    By the way, each entry will probably remain open only until the next one is posted (otherwise I'd have way too many questions to answer).
     
    Hey, is that title image awesome or what? (Yes.)
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