Ta-metru_defender

Ecks. Dee. Plain and simple, lol. TMD

Where can I find it, out of curiosity? TMD[

You may call me a loon (It wouldn't be too far off the mark), Nikira, but I realized something about the movie: They had to fit the movie in under 2 hours. But still I can't believe they cut Solebum out. And there was NOT enough Murtagh! Grr. *grabs masking tape and joins the smacking* Not to say I didn't like it, I wasn't a hald bad movie... Well, more if I hadn't read the book. My Dad liked it more than me or Zarai did.

2 years eh? Bravo. I'm hitting 3 in less than a month. XD Merry Christmas

Very nice, now find me the one for Carol of the Bells.

*groan*

Pah, they taste good.

I miss the Scourge. TMD

Is the PoTC version of LIFE anygood?

Oh the fun. TMD

I'm doing what? TMD

Care to share the images, darth? TMD

....and this has been child-rearing skills with Vance. Remember, same time, same place, same channel. So tune in next time. TMD

I wonder, does playing with LEGO help?

Gotta agree, I took the PSATs today and they were MUCH easier than anticipated.

Vance is an -awesome- name, IMO. It sounds so advanced. TMD

I agree. Peanuts witht he shells on are awesome. TMD

And I have a Chrom Hau and an orange Vahi. u_u Anyhow, nice job on the contest ToM. Good luck on the collection. TMD

1. TRIlingual. 2. Nope 3. Dell Inspiron 60000, Windows XP OS 4. Any. 5. Aye TMD

...I don't get it. TMD

Sounds good Gred. Anyword on EXO-FORCE's online/club? BTW, you didn't go swimming in the frigid Danish waters, did you?

Spiffy Greg. Spiffy. TMD

It was that time of the week again. The time of the week when Malcolm Martin, CEO of the Assuring Advice Association, played the videos of his employees’ sessions and asked his employees why they did what they did in their psychiatry sessions. A door opened and James Beaver walked in, carrying a tape. Just the day before James had had a psychiatric session with a group of people, a few humans and a Zabrak, a Battle Droid, a Wookie, a Kaleesh warrior, and a little green creature whose species is unknown, that is. “I heard you left the room looking worn out,” Malcolm began, shuffling a folder of papers as James sat down. James nodded in grim agreement. He sighed, “Dude, can we just play the tape and be done with it?” “Okay, but remember, pause and explain anything that you think might get you fired, and I will pause it when I feel that way,” Malcolm replied. James put the tape in, and the screen turned on. Now, rather than write the whole ordeal down like a normal story, I’m going to present it as a script. So, as James hit play… In a corner of the room James is sitting in an armchair, across the room various other armchairs sit a collection of beings. James: So… How about we begin with all of you introducing yourselves, and why your here? Let’s begin with the gentleman in the black suit to the left and work our way across.” The ‘gentleman in black’ stands up, Darth Vader: (the sound of a deep metallic breath being taken in) I am Darth Vader, known to some as Anakin Skywalker, this here is my wife Padmé (he points at the woman next to him, who smiles and waves), my son Luke (he points at a young man next to Padmé), and – Luke: Dad! I wanted to introduce myself! Darth Vader: No son, I am doing this! And you want me to this! Luke: No! Darth Vader: Search your feelings; you know it to be true. Luke: Nooooo… James clutchs his head in annoyance, sighing. Padmé: Dear… Let Luke speak… Vader: Fine. Luke: I’m Luke, I need advice. Life has been difficult lately, with the Jedi Academy, Jedi going to the Dark Side – Vader: That’s bad? Palpatine: The Dark Side gives you powah! Unlimited powah! Darth Maul: …the Dark Side gets double bladed light sabers. Mace Windu: So do the Jedi! James Beaver: (grabbing his head) Wait your turn! Luke is talking! Luke: - essentially I’m having a hard time. James Beaver: Thank you, next? Leia: I’m Leia, and I’m under a lot of stress. What with being the Chief of State of the New Republic, practicing my Jedi skills, and making sure Jacen, Jaina and Anakin get enough food at the Jedi Academy and all… I’m under a lot of stress. James Beaver: (to himself) That went relatively well. (To everyone) Next! Han Solo: I’m Han Solo and have nothing to complain about. Next. James’ eyebrows go up. Chewbacca: (roars) Han: Chewie’s got nothing to complain about either. James’ eyebrows go up further. Lando Calrissian: I’m Lando and I too have nothing to complain about. James’ mouth falls open. James: …then why’d you come here? Lando: Because Chewie did. Chewbacca: (roars) Lando: He says because Han did. Han: Because Leia did. Leia: Because I did. James has a look of utter confusion on his face, along with his gawking mouth. Malcolm paused the tape and looked at James, “You do realize that showing shock at what our clients do can make them uncomfortable,” “This was not shock, it was surprise,” James replied. “So be it,” Malcolm responded, pushing play on the video. James: Shall we move on? Mace Windu: Greetings, I am Mace Windu, in charge of the Jedi Order of the ‘Old’ Republic. The evil shroud of the Dark Side – Vader: What’s so bad about the Dark Side? Palpatine: The Dark Side gives you powah! Unlimited powah! Darth Maul: …the Dark Side gets double bladed light sabers. James clutches his head. Mace Windu: So do the Jedi! Like I was saying, I too need advice on what to do. James: Next! Yoda: Mmmm… Right Master Windu is, mmmm, yes! James: …and what would your problem be? Yoda: Mmm… Agree I do with Master Windu and Luke, there is the evil shroud of the Dark Side, and – Vader: What’s so bad about the Dark Side? Palpatine: The Dark Side gives you powah! Unlimited powah! Darth Maul: …the Dark Side gets double bladed light sabers. Mace Windu: So do the Jedi! James: Oh my goodness… Carry on, Yoda. Yoda: Master Yoda to you that is, mmmm! James: Gragh… Carry on, Master Yoda. Yoda: Mmmm… And then there are the Jedi falling to the Dark Side and all. Vader: What’s so bad about the Dark Side? Palpatine: The Dark Side gives you powah! Unlimited powah! Darth Maul: …the Dark Side gets double bladed light sabers. Mace Windu: So do the Jedi! James: Gah… Please, the man with short hair and the tan robes. Obi Wan Kenobi: I’m Obi Wan, and I have to agree with Masters Yoda and Windu on this, about the whole – (glances around nervously) – Ark-day Ide-say… James: I see… Next? Qui Gon Jin: I’m Qui Gon and I… I… James: Hurry up! Qui Gon: Keep your mind here and now where it belongs. I came along to makes sure that everything is fine. So I’ve got no problems. James: I would ask why you came but you just told me. Now to the next one. Count Dooku: I am Count Dooku the guy in charge of the Separatist forces. I need advice with my forces and my allies. Should I ally with the Mon Calamari or with the Aqualish? They’re on the same planet and all, and but there’s something fishy about the Mon Calamari. The Aqualish, however, make me ...hungry… But the Mon Calamari have those bizarre ships… and the Aqualish are more the military type… and – James: Before you tell me your life story can we move on? Darth Maul: At last I shall reveal myself to the psychiatrist… at last I shall have rev- At last I shall talk about myself… James: (rolling his eyes) You might want to ‘reveal’ your name to us… Darth Maul: Oh, right. I’m Darth Maul, and… I’ve been feeling like anti-social… like an outcast… like I don’t belong… like I’ve been hidden too long… James: …and that’s why you’re here. Now for our good cyborg… General Grievous: I am General Grievous (cough), and I am commander of (cough) the droid armies of the Confederacy (cough) of Independent Systems! Now, I (cough) need your help. I was once a proud Kaleesh (cough) Warrior, but now I’m this…(cough) cyborg… but to remind (cough) me of home and who I used to (cough) be, I gave my Bodyguards the head wrappings and capes of (cough) Kaleesh warriors. But some people have been complaining (cough) and insulting my taste – Count Dooku: (coughs) Grievous: - and I need to know, should I strangle them, kick them around, or just punch ‘em a few times? James: Advice comes later for now it’s just introductions. Next! Palpatine: I am Emperor Palpatine, and I have powah! Unlimited powah! Unlimi- James: and your problem would be? Palpatine: -ted powah! Powah! Unlimited powah! James looks annoyed, but carries on. James: Good grief… Next! Palpatine: Powah! Unlimited po- Oom-9: I am Oom-9, commander class battle droid and I – Palpatine: -wah! Unlimited Powah! Unlim- Oom-9: - feel like I’m being used, and – Palpatine: -ited powah! Po- Oom-9: - that life has no meaning, so – Palpatine: -wah! Powah! Powah! James: Hold on Oom-9. Palpatine, could you – Palpatine: Unlimited powah! Powah! Powah! POWAH! James: -try to let the battle droid talk? Palpatine: POWAH! Unlimited Powah! By now Palpatine is prancing around while chanting it. James: Please can you - Palpatine: Powah! Powah! Mace Windu: Silence! Palpatine: Powah! Unlimited powah! Mace stretches out his hand and Palpatine can’t open his mouth. James: Thank you. Mace: The talkativeness of the Sith will never rise again. James: Good grief… Carry on Oom-9 Oom-9: and I feel like I’ve got no meaning to life. I also feel like people are out to get me, like my only purpose is to be ripped apart – Obi Wan: (coughs) Oom-9: - and essentially I need your advice. No one notices Palpatine moving towards Mace. James: Thank you. Well, now we will try to resolve our problems. Mace: Ahh! Palpatine is sending blue bolts from his fingers at Mace: Mace’s control of Palpatine’s mouth is released, Palpatine: No… no… no… You have lost! Mace ignites his saber and blocks the lightning. Malcolm paused, the tape and turned towards James; “…And you let this happen?” “…Well…Just finish the video and you’ll see…” James replied as he hit play. Mace: Anakin! Help me! He is the traitor! Darth Vader doesn’t do anything. Palpatine: No! He is the traitor! Help me! I have powah! Unlimited powah! Darth Vader gets up. Padmé: No! Don’t help him! Luke: Dad! No! Leia: Dad… Darth Vader: I… I… (Sits down) General Grievous inconspicuously gets up and opens the huge bay window then moves to where Mace is. Grievous: (kicking him) (cough) Oops… Mace: (lowering his guard) Woah! Palpatine: Hah! Palpatine uses his Force Lightning to send Mace Windu out the open window. Palpatine: How ironic… ‘Master’ Windu fell out a window… Count Dooku, General Grievous, Darth Maul and Oom-9 burst out laughing. Obi Wan, Yoda and Qui Gon look out the window. Obi Wan: How big a drop do you think it is? Qui Gon: Not sure. How many rooftops could he have hit? Yoda: Many rooftops hit he has, (a thud echoes from below), dead he is. Grieves, my heart does. General Grievous: What? (cough) James: Dude, he said ‘grieves’, not ‘grievous’. Malcolm paused it, “So one of your clients fell out a window? If word of this gets out people won’t feel so safe,” “That’s because we put the bad guys and the good guys in the same room,” “True,” Malcolm said. He jotted something down on a piece of paper before hitting play on the remote. James: Well, I believe we’re finished with his issues… Who wants to go next? There is some shifting in the crowd. Oom-9 hesitantly raises his hand. James: Aha, the one that feels like he needs a meaning to life. Oom-9: Yup, that’s right. Darth Maul: You have a mission, a purpose… You were supposed to find the Jedi on Naboo! Oom-9: Oh yeah – speak of the devil, they’re right there! Droids! Attack! Oom-9 draws his blaster; the door is blasted down as a platoon of battle droids swarm in. Obi Wan and Qui Gon get up and begin slicing at them. Han, Lando and Chewbacca watch with a normal face, talking to each other. The Skywalker family is watching intrigued. Yoda and the Sith are watching, unimpressed. James is watching from below his desk. After a while Qui Gon brings his saber down on Oom-9. Darth Maul: Incompetent droids. Darth Maul takes off his hood and cloak and ignites his double sided light saber. Qui Gon and Obi Wan rush at him and engage in a duel. The crowd watch with interest, including Yoda and the Sith. At one point, Obi Wan and Qui Gon get separated by some couches. Darth Maul rams his saber hilt into Qui Gon’s chin and then stabs him. Qui Gon: Urk! Obi Wan: Noooooooo! Luke: Hey… he sounds like me! Darth Maul smiles; Obi Wan leaps over the couches and fights Maul. A moment later moment Darth Maul outstretches his palm, and Obi Wan flies out the bay window, grabbing on to a ledge below. Darth Maul kicks Obi Wan’s saber out the window. The Sith cheer, and the Jedi jeer. Seconds later Obi Wan pulls himself up, grabs Qui Gon’s light saber and slashes Darth Maul in half. Darth Maul falls out the bay window. The Sith jeer, and the Jedi cheer. James: Well… that’s one way to deal with issues. Malcolm paused the tape again. “Okay James... Now three more of our clients have died. One of them was blown to bits, one fell out the window – after being sliced in half – and the last was stabbed,” “I heard Yoda and Obi Wan incinerated Qui Gon afterwards… and Oom-9 was just a battle droid,” “Ooom-9 was not just a battle droid. He was a battle droid and a paying customer,” “Sheesh… we solved his issues though, right?” and before Malcolm could respond James hit play on the remote and the video resumed. James: So, who’s next? Han stands up, followed by Chewbacca and Lando. Han: We’re going to go downstairs and grab a coffee. Don’t worry if we don’t come back. Chewbacca: (roars) Han: Chewie says that you sh0uld enjoy yourselves. Lando: Bye! So Chewbacca, Han, and Lando leave the room and head downstairs. James sighs. James: So who’s left? Darth Vader: Me. Padmé: Me. Luke: Me. Leia: Me. Obi: Me. Yoda: Me. Dooku: Me. Palpatine: Pow… James: Not again… Palpatine: Powah! Unlimited powah! Powah to do all! Powah! Powah! Unlimited powah! James: Shut him up… Palpatine: Powah! Unlimited powah! Malcolm paused and turned to James, “Why do you want to shut him up?” “He’s driving me nuts,” “Your job is to listen to people talk,” “That’s not talking, that’s ranting,” “Suit yourself,” Malcolm said as he resumed the video. Palpatine: Powah! Unlimited powah! Powah! Powah! Powah! Unlimited powah! James: (Through clenched teeth) Make… Him… Stop… Now… Palpatine: Join me… And you too will have powah! Unlimited powah! Dooku: Me? James: Not you, goofball, he’s talking to Luke. Luke: I will not join you. Palpatine: Join me! For powah! For unlimited powah! Luke: No! Palpatine: Then you will die! (Shoots Force Lightning at Luke) Feel my powah, my un-lim-i-ted pow-wah! Padmé: (gasp) Luke! Leia: Luke! Luke: Father! Help me! Darth Vader: … Palpatine: Powah! Unlimited powah! Padmé: Dear… could you save our son… please? Darth Vader: … Palpatine: Powah! Unlimited powah! Padmé: C’mon… he’s our son… Darth Vader: … Palpatine: Powah! Unlimited powah! Padmé: Anakin! Save him! Darth Vader gets up and picks Palpatine up over his head. Palpatine: Powah! Unlimited – huh? Put me down! Darth Vader walks over to the bay window and chucks Palpatine down. Palpatine: Nooo… I thought I had powah!? Unlimited powah!? James: Thanks Darth. Now, what issues do we have left… huh? Vader: I feel… good… Luke: Then you can help me at the Academy! Leia: And can advise me with ruling the New Republic! Padmé: Methinks we’ve got no issues left. Let’s go now. The Skywalker family leaves. James sighs… James: So who’s still here? Yoda: Here, I am. Obi: I’m here. Grievous: (cough) me. Count Dooku: Present. James: Wow… Four light saber users… Two good… Two bad… Okay, in ten words or less, tell me what your problems are. Yoda: Shroud of the Dark Side, my problem is. Obi: Same as Yoda, Count Dooku: Who to ally. General Grievous: How to hurt guy who don’t (cough) like wrappings and cape. James: …let’s start with Grievous… Have you ever tried forgiving whoever it was? Grievous: Nope. (cough) And I won’t. (cough). James: Well, if that’s so, then you’re done. Grievous: No! (cough) Tell me what I (cough) should do to him! James: Advice on which way to hurt people is available through the main office. Malcolm paused it for a moment, “Good advertising!” Malcolm then hit play. Grievous: Fine! (cough) Grievous walks through the doorway – the door already having been knocked of its hinges when the battle droids barged in. James: Okay… Dooku now. Who to ally is not my department either. The front desk should be able to help. Just ask. Dooku leaves silently, leaving James with Yoda and Obi Wan. James clasps his hands and looks at them. James: Okay, now for a real psychiatry question. You need to know what to do about the Sith’s shroud? The two Jedi nod their heads. James: (strokes his chin)…thus said the shroud is preventing you from doing various things? The two Jedi nod their heads. James: Which essentially means that something that is troubling you is preventing you from living a normal life? The two Jedi nod their heads once again. James: Which means that you should… James grabs a book from his desk and flips it open; finally coming to the page he was looking for. James: You should: (reads) ‘You should carry on life, and try to be optimistic. Perhaps ignore it if it is mental. If it is physical get rid of it.’ (Puts down the book) I suppose you should hunt down and destroy the Sith. One should still be by the front desk. If you hurry you can catch him! Obi Wan: Thank you. Yoda: Thank you, I do. Obi Wan and Yoda leave the room. James goes over to the doorway and tries to get the door back up before dropping it and leaving. Malcolm stopped the tape and looked at James. “Looks like you got your job done,” He said, unemotionally. “I guess I did…” “You did a… an interesting job. You managed to sort out the last two guys’ issues, and you referred the other two to other departments. Sure five of our clients died, but that was because we put the good and the bad guys in the same room. We won’t do that again. Ever. So… we have a counseling appointment tomorrow, I think you could handle it. People like Aragorn, Boromir, the four hobbits, Smeagol, Eowyn and the like will be their. You’ve been elected to go. Enjoy!” and Malcolm Martin gave James a ‘I’m-done-with-you-now-go-away’ look, and James left. “I wonder if they will be anything like the guys I met yesterday.” He said to himself as he walked back towards his office. He still needed a new door.

1. Early Morning, afternoon, evening. 2. Don't remember 3. Black. Longish black hair. 4. Onewa Hordika, and three Piraka 5. Color TMD

I wrote this many a month ago, and I like it. Story in second comment