Toarobot18

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Thelonewander's purchases processed. Portalfig JiMing needs to produce more bread before it can be purchased.Foreign Mini-Update: Sources from Soso Nui report that the Fruieto Company, based in Telanui, has had its supply chains disrupted. Baclo Berry shipments are likely to cease shortly.

Foreign Nations' Relations Update IIIINORTHRAXXSTATUS: NeutralOFFICIAL NEWS: "We send our best hopes that the new authorities in Telanui will do better than the previous ones in controlling illegal trade practices, and hope that we can maintain an open relationship with those on both sides of this conflict."PRESS REPORT: "The Northraxx Investor's report has been released. Northraxxian business profits fell 5% this quarter. The Northraxx Matoran Investment Agency is reported to have acquired the remaining assets of Digiclon Device Inc. Current rumors tell that workers will be shifted over to Northraxx Supreme Inc. to assist in the production of the new Type 039 Disk Launcher."EASTLANDSTATUS: FriendlyOFFICIAL NEWS: "In response to the news of this unjustifiable conquest of the Westarhk forces, Eastland will be severing all diplomatic connections with Westarhk, Eastland leaders announced today. 'Until Westarhk withdraws their intruding forces from Telanui, our nation cannot be on good terms with Westarhk. However, at this time, we can only wish Soso Nui the best of luck.'"PRESS REPORT: "A bid by Westarhk for over 200 widgets worth of J6 Rifles was blocked by Eastland authorities this month, in a move that is sure to annoy officers of the West Eastland Guns company."WESTARHKSTATUS: HostileOFFICIAL NEWS: "We only ask that foreign nations not interfere with our attempts to come to a solution to this problem."PRESS REPORT: "Supreme General Melisku received a commendation from our Great Leader, Atalin, after leading the Westarhk Matoran Army in another victory over corrupt Soson militants during a successful defense of Telanui."SOSO NUISTATUS: FriendlyOFFICIAL NEWS: "After heavy fighting, our tired soldiers were forced to pull back from Telanui. However, despite this temporary loss, we can assure you that it will not be long before the attacks by Westarhk are reversed by Soson matoran. We now look towards international assistance in repelling the intrusion and rearming our military."PRESS REPORT: "The still greatly outnumbered Soson Army was forced to retreat from Telanui in the conclusion to this week's fighting. The demoralized matoran still put up a good fight and Westarhk did not win by a large margin. Nevertheless, the defeat will likely weaken the Soson military and cause a loss of vital equipment, military analysts say."

Thanks! Just curious (to get an idea on where to throw my precious writing energies), which of my other comedies is your favorite after Mission Space?

The First Evo: hasn't been a week yet.Thelonewander: your Goal PM will arrive shortly. You have 24 hours to buy food before you'll need to eat.Tosha96: policematoran investigate crimes, not people. Your investigation is complete, although another policematoran could try to give it a shot.Everyone: I'm processing a food-eating cycle. Also, a Foreign Status report is due.

CHAPTER NINE PART TWO of THREE Staring G.S./P.G.S. “Glatorian Meta” (Toa Meta) Fraakask: (Using a translator.) Welcome, glatorian, to the trial of case 56678, of the death of a criminal bone hunter. I am your judge, Glatorian Meta will be your lawyer.Gali: Who's the crinimal's lawyer?Fraakask: Crinimals don't get lawyers.Pohatu: DIE!!! EVIL PIRAKA!Fraakask: Excuse me?Gali: Sorry, a dragon ran into him and augmented his existing mental illness.Fraakask: I see. Meta, could you escort this glatorian to the medic wing?(Meta takes Pohatu away.)Fraakask: Okay. Now we start. Let the other skrall explain what happened first.Gali: Oh, you mean Lewa? He got impaled by a sword, so he's not in a talking condition.Fraakask: Meta!(Meta walks back in.)Glatorian Meta: Yes?Fraakask: Take this skrall away.(Meta takes Lewa away.)Fraakask: Well, I guess there's just you left. Meta! Come here! The trial will begin.(Meta comes back in.)Fraakask: So, water glatorian, explain what happened.Gali: Well, this weird creepy-looking guy came riding a tiny kardas dragon--Fraakask: A rock steed?Gali: I guess. Any way, he ran over me and Pohatu, crushing my armor, and then the weird earth guy--Fraakask: A bone hunter?Gali: Probably. Well--Fraakask: Meta! Since we have gathered sufficient proof, what will the sentence be?Gali: But we were defending ourselves! We didn't--Glatorian Meta: Well, the bone hunter is already dead. But as punishment for his master's great evil dead, the steed will be put down.Fraakask: Case closed. As glatorian are required to wear armor in court, a fine of 250 crotsch shells will be--Gali: But I'm not a glatorian!Fraakask: WHAT?Gali: I'm a toa!Glatorian Meta: As the lawyer of this gla-- toa, I declare, as he is not a glatorian, that he should not have to pay the fine.Fraakask: Fine! But, what's a toa?Gali: I'm the same as those people who crash landed in the arena--Fraakask: You! One of them?!Glatorian Meta: But I've talked to the prisoners, and it wasn't their fault! They lost control and--Fraakask: New sentence! This, toa! And his--Gali: Her.Fraakask: Her two friends will serve a lifetime sentence in jail, followed by an execution!Gali: But that's impossible! You can't serve a lifetime sentence and an execution!Fraakask: Okay, revoke the lifetime sentence part!Gali: But--Glatorian Meta: No, please! They don't deserve to die!Fraakask: Do you want to join him?Glatorian Meta: I'd rather join them in a lifetime sentence then have you exec--Fraakask: Okay, let the execution include you as well, you defiant scoundrel!Glatorian Meta: NOOO!Gali: Wait, please! Fraakask: (To the fire glatorian that brought Gali here.) You! Get the gaurds! Haul these two, and the other two, off to the execution platform!Gali: NOOO! I-- I-- Wait! Watch! (Gali blasts a nearby container with water, filling it.)Fraakask: What?!Gali: See, I can control water!Fraakask: Control water indeed. Why, when your head is rolling on the--Gali: Watch! (Gali controls the water, forming it into different shapes.) And Hewkii and Pohatu can do that with stone! They could make you buildings and walls and--Fraakask: Don't be silly, stone's not a liquid! You can't form it like you can with water! You have to carve it!Gali: Well, I don't know how he does it! Ask GregF!Fraakask: Who's Greg--Gali: Never mind, I don't know either. Fraakask: OK...Gali: If you don't believe me, heal Hewkii!Fraakask: Well, I'll give it a chance, 'cause if you're right I might be promoted... But if you're not I'll include your friends from the flying ship in the execution.Gali: If we make a bunch of buildings, walls, arenas, water, resources, fertile soil, et cetera, will you help us repair our spaceship and let us, and Meta, go? Fraakask: I don't think you're in the position to...Gali: Well, we won't help you if you don't.Glatorian Meta: Please! I'll go with them in their ship, and you'll never see me again!Fraakask: If you have the power you say you do, and you don't help us, we'll execute you.Gali: (Lying.) Well we still won't help you. So it's either you kill us and don't get the resources, or you don't, and keep them.Fraakask: Well, we'll see whether you have the powers, then we'll discuss your options.

*In Hakann's house.*BRRRRRRING! BRRRRRING! BRRRRING!Hakann: *Picking up phone.* Hello? Who is it?Pohatu: This is Pohatu, owner of Matamart. Is this Hakann, developer of Sugarless Sugar Bula?Hakann: Yeah man, this is the guy.Pohatu: Your product was hugely successful. As soon as people saw it, a bunch of people ran in to buy it! And rich too, all in business suits!Hakann: I told you it would sell!Pohatu: How much do you want for one thousand units?Hakann: Umm, I only have four hundred in stock right now, but I'll sell them to you at the base rate of two widgets a box.Pohatu: Really? You're the man. Cheapest wholesale provider I've got! Now if I just charge eight...Hakann: Yep! You can always count on me to charge low prices! I'll bring them over right away!*Hakann hangs up.**Kopaka walks in.*Hakann: I just made eight hundred widgets! And a bunch of rich guys in suits like my products!Kopaka: Really? What a surprise...Hakann: Yeah, really! And can you believe it, I just made eight hundred widgets!Kopaka: What was your profit?Hakann: Eight hundred widgets!Kopaka: So how many did you sell, and for what price?Hakann: I sold four hundred boxes and two widgets each.Kopaka: You idio-- look. How much did you pay for each of those Sugar Bula boxes?Hakann: Eight widgets.Kopaka: And how much for the paint needed to cover one box?Hakann: Um... why is this important? Anyway, one widget.Kopaka: And for each label?Hakann: Oh, don't pester me! We need to celebrate! Eight hundred widgets in sales-Kopaka: And more than two thousand and eight hundred widgets in losses. You can't sell your product for less than it costs you!Hakann: But I made eight hundred! How could I have lost two-BRRRRRRING! BRRRRRRING! BRRRRRRING!*Hakann picks up the phone.*Gali: Is this Hakann, developer of Sugarless Sugar Bula?Hakann: That's me!Gali: Hello, this is Gali Nuva, of Sugar Bula International. We'd like to have a word with you.Hakann: Yes?Gali: Under our understanding, you have a business that sells cereal, correct?Hakann: Well?Gali: It appears that your products violate our patents and registered trademarks.Hakann: YOU THINK I CARE?Gali: We just wished to notify you that you're going to court with us on next Saturday; bye.Click.Hakann: They're going to sue me.Kopaka: Don't say I didn't warn you. First you ruin my business, then you'll ruin yours. Good day.*Kopaka walks out.**Vahki walks in.*Vahki: YOU ARE RUN-NING THIS BUS-I-NESS WITH-OUT A LI-CENSE! I HAVE A WAR-RANT FOR YOUR AR-REST!Hakann: Oh? OK, fine, I just need to go get my luggage.Vahki: LUG-GAGE IS NOT NE-CE-SSARY! ALL IT-TEMS NEED-ED WILL BE PRO-VI-DED AT THE NORTH MET-RU-NUI COM-PLEX FOR TAX E-VA-SION!Hakann: Yeah, yeah. *He picks up his lava launcher.*Vahki: WHAT WAS THAT YOU PICKED UP?Hakann: *Slipping his launcher behind his back.* Um, some bread I just ate. See, it's gone!Vahki: LAME.BZZZZZZACHHHHH!Hakann: Ahhhh!BZZZZZZZACH!*In a cell.*Jail Guard: Time to rise and shine, sleepy eyes.Hakann: What?Jail Guard: So, what did you do?Hakann: Nothing. I didn't buy a little rectangular piece of plastic so they threw me in jail.Jail Guard: I see. That happened to me once, but they just wouldn't let me ride a ussal anymore. Anything else?Hakann: Oh, you see, I don't think I was in the right zone, you know?Jail Guard: No, I don't know. Zone? You sound like some weird hippie.Hakann: You know, I wanted to be in the business zone. But I was in the housy zone, and I wasn't in the business zone, so they wanted to withdraw my whatcha-muh-call-it. But then they killed Kopaka's whatcha instead, but then they found I was still doing my business, and then they went, like, "buzack, and buzack, and buzack!" And then I woke up. And then I was here. And you see, now how am I going to get my Wiibox3?Jail Guard: Got it. You sure this wasn't a mix up? The asylum's just across the street.Hakann: When I make my nonnillions, you'll be begging in that street!Jail Guard: Yep, it was definitely a mix up. Wait a second, someone wants to see you.*The jail guard escorts Kopaka in.*Kopaka: Nice. Just nice. My investors will kill me. Look Mr. Jail Guard, how much is the bail?Jail Guard: Um... *He checks his wallet.* Wait a second. *He opens a cellphone.* Yeah honey, I know. Look, I'm with this prisoner right now... You know the date tonight? How much would your dream dinner, plus your dream date cost? Thanks hun, love you. Kisses! Bye. *He closes the cellphone.* That'll be five thousand widgets please.Kopaka: Whatever. When does he need to show up in court?Jail Guard: Next Sunday. Money please?Kopaka: *Handing the jail guard widgets.* Here you go. Hakann, follow me.*The two walk out of the prison and down the street.*All is well for now, but now Hakann will have to face two appearances in court! More is in store for... The Bionicle Entrepreneur!

~~~At the ship's New Recruits' Party.~~~...united never sever, but hold to their colors so true; the Army and Navy forever, three cheers for Metru Nui too! Three cheers for Metru Nui too, three cheers for Metru Nui too! The Army and Navy forever, three cheers for Metru Nui too!Navy Chorus Conductor: Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope you enjoyed the performance, and now I give the floor to Admiral Arktinen.Admiral Arktinen: Thank you for that fine performance of Metru Nui, Gem of the Ocean. I will now begin the traditional Navy Welcoming Speech:Welcome, welcome, welcome! A most wonderful welcome to you! Welcome to the Navy! We welcome you to the life upon the silver seas! We welcome you to life aboard our fine ships upon the silver seas! May your hearts welcome the spirit of the sea into your every piston! Soon, in your hammocks aboard a mighty fighting ship, you will welcome the chance to fight for your country! Welcome that fighting spirit into your heartlights, and you will receive a hero's welcome when you victoriously return from battle. We welcome the enemy to our shores for we always welcome new targets to improve our training. Ready your masks! Sharpen your armor! Put on your swords! Well? Come! Be ready for battle! The Navy is always welcoming to strong and intelligent fighters. He who welcomes the training welcomes the promotion! Once welcomed, always welcome! One cannot wear out one's welcome in the Navy without disobedience, and the Court Martial welcomes you too! Whoever the welcomer, may your Navy days be filled with both welcomeness and cheer. You are a welcome addition to the force! Welcoming you welcomes pride into our heartlights! What? Battle welcomes you too soon? Drafted or not, we welcomely bring your aboard! Soon you will thank us, and we'll say "you're welcome!" For at the end of your career (far off may it be!) during a welcome rest from the sea, you will welcome nostalgia and welcome the welcomely welcomeness of the sea which welcomers' welcome with welcomes! So, be welcome! And when danger welcomes you into its arms, still be welcome! For when the Navy welcomes you, you are welcome to...(...)(...)...and thus as the great naval hero who welcomed death, Admiral Perihu, said during his weclome address: "Welcome to the Navy! We welcome you to the life upon the silver seas! We welcome you to life aboard our fine ships upon the silver seas! May your hears welcome the spirit of the sea into your every piston! Soon, in your hammocks aboard a mighty fighting ship, you will welcome the chance to fight for your country!" What welcome is not welcome? As I have said before, welcome that fighting spirit into...(...)(...)...when the ship returns from the sea, the banners say "WELCOME" and we welcome that welcome too, for the civilians' welcomes that welcome you on the shore almost match the welcomes of your welcome Navy brethren who welcomely greet you every time you board your welcome ship once again. And speaking of "once again," you are a welcome addition to the force! Welcoming you welcomes pride into our heartlights...(...)(...)...and to say it again: welcome! Welcome recruits! Welcome sailors! Welcome soldiers! Welcome and welcome and welcome and welcome and welcome and welcome! (And welcome.) And don't think I'm being insincere (but if you do, we welcome comments and criticism), I truly am a welcomer! I welcome every welcome welcomely, and thus when I heard this opportunity to welcome you welcomed me, I welcomed and welcome and will always welcomely welcome welcomeness that welcomes the welcomes that I welcomely welcome to welcome the welcomes of those who welcome the welcomers who welcome--Kopaka: ENOUGH! I can't take it anymore! How can you torture us like--Lewa: Calm down Kopaka, cut the interrupt-breaks! I'm trying to listen to this speech!Admiral Arktinen: No, it's okay Lewa. We welcome people to leave at any time. In fact, if Kopaka wants to move on, he's welcome to head over to the briefing room. Some people have already gotten started.~~~Kopaka and Lewa look around and realize the room is empty.~~~Admiral Arktinen: But on the other hand, you're welcome to stay and listen to the rest of my traditional Navy Welcoming Speech! In fact, I welcome--~~~Kopaka grabs Lewa and sprints out of the room.~~~Lewa: What was that about? I was welcome to stay and listen to the rest of the Welcoming Speech! I think we should welcome the opportunity to learn and wel--Kopaka: One more "welcome" out of you and you'll be welcoming a blow to the head from one of my fists. Lewa: Fine. But I just think we should have--Briefing instructor: Excuse me, toa, but it seems you are interested in presenting this briefing? Since you find it necessary to talk (let alone fight) in my briefing room, I'd like you to come up here and explain this slide to the crew.Lewa: Oh, sure! That'd be just happy-fine--Briefing instructor: No, not you, the white guy.Kopaka: Me?Briefing instructor: Yes, you. Here, you can have my pointer if you want.Kopaka: I'm not sure I'm really qualified to--~~~The briefing instructor leaves the room.~~~Kopaka: Oh. K. Well class... um... so you see here... um, on this screen, you can see the rank structure for the M.N. Navy. And so... this box on the top with all the bars, that one denotes the highest rank. If you look below that to the box with one less bar, that one denotes the second highest rank. And so on down the chart. It's all the same idea, I'm sure you can figure it out. Now the next slide... *Fiddles with the projector.*One sec class, I'm still trying to figure this out. Ah! Alright. So this shows the battle structure of the M.N. Navy. The boxes at the top are the big groups, and all those boxes below them are divisions of--Random matoran: We've already seen this slide, by the way.Kopaka: Err, yes, of course, we've already seen this slide. So... *Fiddles with the projector.* There we go. These are the types of ships in the M.N. Navy. The really big ones in the top left corner of the screen can carry Gukko birds, all the rest just shoot things. Makes sense? ... Okay, we'll go to the next slide then. Hm... "SAFETY." Well, we'll skip that one for now. Looks like only two slides left...Briefing instructor: *Pops back in the room.* So, crew, how's the presentation going? Heh heh, I thought so. So crew, is Kopaka qualified to be speaking during our briefings, or do you think the actual instructor should be the only one speaking?Iruini: Actually, he's been doing very well. Very nice and to the point.Random matoran: I agree, we're moving much quicker now and it's easier to understand.Lewa: They're right! Kopaka is an awesome speaker!Briefing instructor: Ha ha ha, very funny indeed. Kopaka, you and I will be meeting after class.

Well, I've put nothing forward. I just stated I returned from my camping trip and haven't reviewed things yet. If you doubt that, a quick look at BZRepublic, Hybrid Hurt & Heal, or my comedies will help reinforce that claim. As for how I go about making conclusions, it does not involve relying upon anonymous claims, despite how it may have seemed to you in my PMs. If I am a mafia member, that was a pretty wonderful cover up at the top of page 6. Thanks, mafia member Burnmad!Regarding deleting a PM: I could have, but as iBrow will tell you, I also failed to clear out my inbox for his game (he had to find an old PM to reply to), and I would have had no way of knowing in advance that Lloyd would make a public announcement about not giving roles to people with full inboxes. I also would have had excellent timing, to be around at the right time of day to delete the PM.

Hmm. I've just returned from camping and I need to review the evidence I've been gathering via PM and form, and remember what's actually going on in this game, but I'll examine my clues and see if I can point towards anyone.

Player list updated. Only seven more to go!

Thanks, I'll set you up. By the way folks, the freeze is over.

Beginning freeze.

Screenshots are only prohibited at this time for revealing BZRepublic Goals. You may still reveal BZRepublic Goals using other methods. You may reveal anything else using any method you like.

By the way folks, I will be gone for the weekend, starting tommorow morning. I will return on Sunday. In my absence, the game will be temporarily frozen. No widget/item transfers or purchases, and no actions such as voting for a bill, attacking a country, stealing an item, etc., are allowed. If someone does an action, they will have to re-request that action after I return. The reason for this is so that players have an opportunity to see things happening and respond to them before other things happen, rather then all actions happening all at once when I return.I apologize for the inconvenience, but this gives everyone a fair chance to react to current events. However, discussion, including proposal of bills, is still allowed. Therefore, this will give everyone a nice opportunity for a break to catch up on what's happened, discuss BZ Nui's future, and turn their attention back to other things, such as Lloyd's mafia game. I will post later to activate the freeze, and again when the game resumes.EDIT: Processing Burnmad's request. Welcome to the police force, Brightpaw!

Brightpaw's weapons research, despite a well-thought out experiment, does not produce anything of value this time around.

Hybrid Hurt and Heal 2 A Toarobot18 Game This game is a mix of normal Hurt & Heal and Member Hurt & Heal; it has both players and characters. The first game was done back in 2009-2010. So it's time for another round!Each player or character starts with 11 health.Every post you hurt one player or character and heal another player or character, by copying and pasting the previous post, and moving the number beside the person or character you want to heal up 1, and the person or character you want to hurt down 1. You also place those players or characters you are healing and hurting in bold font. You cannot heal or hurt yourself.RULES:ANYONE can post in this game and hurt and heal, as long as they follow the rules below! However, only players have their name on the list, so only they are in the running for the championship.The ABAB RulePretend you are "Player A."A random, extremely annoying BZPower member is called "Player B."You post,* then he posts, like this:Player APlayer BPlayer APlayer BOnce you and "Player B" have reached as many posts as shown above, you have to stop, until another person posts, as follows:Player APlayer BPlayer APlayer BPlayer C (Cycle Reset)In other words, neither player A or B can post until a third player posts, after they have completed an ABAB cycle. Once someone resets it, player A or B can post again.ABAB is the maximum posts between 2 players, but of course ABCABCABCABCABC is fine...*(Here "post" means a playing post, where you hurt and heal players or characters, not just commentary.)Player DiesWhen a player dies, the last player or character to hurt him gains 5 health. If a non-player was the last person to hurt the player, then no one gets 5 health. The player who died can still hurt and heal, he just isn't in the running for the championship and his name is taken off the list.CharactersCharacters work just like players. You can hurt them, you can heal them. However, each character is associated with a certain 1-time-use power:Tahu: ShieldKarzahni Plant: Mass HealingGahdok: Mass DestructionKardas Dragon: ResurrectionMakuta: DeathMakuta Nui: Random-Double-DeathWhen a character dies, the player who hurt the character the most since the last time the character was at 11 health gets the special power. Non-players and dead players who hurt the character cannot get a power. But hurting a character comes with problems too...Characters Strike Back:Every once in a while, a character that has been attacked a lot recently gets angry... and takes a lot of health away from a player randomly. It doesn't have to be a player who attacked the character. But be warned, there's a 30% chance it'll be someone who has hurt the character before. Also, note that characters with more powerful powers do more damage.PowersThese are the powers you may get from a character, all are one-time use. To use them, just say in a post which power you are activating, and add or subtract the points as it says below:Shield: When this mask is activated the owner cannot be hurt for 48 hours.Mass Healing: All players and characters get 6 health.Mass Destruction: All players and characters lose 6 health.Resurrection: Bring one player that has died back to life, that player comes back with 11 health. You cannot do this to characters.Death: Choose one player to instantly kill. You cannot do this to characters.Random-Double-Death: When you activate this, the next time Toarobot18 is online he will randomly kill two players besides the person who activated this.That's all! Besides the 6 characters, I will allow 15 players, 20 if they come fast enough. I will post with the hurt-and-heal list when I'm ready to start!1. Tahu2. Karzahni Plant3. Gahdok4. Kardas Dragon5. Makuta6. Makuta Nui-------1. Toarobot182. Moc13.4.5.6. Kohu - The Living Element7. The Emperor Penguin8.9. Zakaro10. Rocka's Bane11. Shyyrn12. Count Bleck13. Teezy14. Toa Onarax (to be moved to spot 17 if there is demand for that many spots)15. Burnmad: Toa of Emoticons

As far as I can tell, this is what is being referred to as iBrow's "gun control bill": It wasn't really a properly laid-out bill, just a proposal. But as it has received three votes, if passed by Burnmad, I would add to the original gun control bill the following:"Weapon business owners may carry as many guns as they like."

The entire storyline of Season 3 was just a dream, and we're back to the end of Season 2 again?

With so many bills floating around, I'd like all voting posts to indicate that the poster is voting to pass a bill, and which bill it is. For example, "I vote to pass Bob's Gun Bill."Although normally you aren't supposed to edit voting posts, I'll allow an exception for those posted prior to now so people can clarify. I'm having trouble tallying.

CHAPTER NINE PART ONE of THREE In the last chapter of Bionicle: Mission Space, the crew of the Flying Madu had been thrown in prison, and three of them awaited trial...In a dark, dank, dirty, and depressing cell, containing the prisoners 200452 (Lewa disguised as a skrall), 200453 (Pohatu disguised as a skrall), and 200454 (Gali), Prisoner 200454 opened her eyes...Gali: Where am I? (She looks around.) It looks like a prison cell. I wonder how I got here? (She spots Pohatu and Lewa.) Well, at least they've bandaged Lewa. I wonder if Pohatu is still crazy? (She shakes Pohatu.)Pohatu: No Dume, this must be a mistake! You wouldn't throw me under the coliseum just for eating an endangered visorak, now would you?Gali: (Sarcastically) Pohatu, I've a feeling we're not in Metru Nui anymore. Well I guess I should let Lewa rest. As for Pohatu, he's off in La-La Land. But that's not anything unusual...In cell 321, four cells down from Gali & Friends:(In the middle of a heated argument.)Hakann: Well if we could escape, then at least they'd have a chance!Kopaka: They're probably dead anyway! And if we try to escape, and they catch us, think how bad we'd look in a trial!Hakann: They won't catch us, they're elementless dunces! And who said they'd give us a trial?Gaaki: Enough, enough! Kopaka's right. And I think Lewa, Gali, and Pohatu will be fine! Why, with Lewa's strong body, Gali's strong will, and Pohatu's strong mind, nothing could stop them! Why, even if a dinosaur ran into that guy, he wouldn't suffer a headache!Hakaan: (Crossing fingers.) I guess you're right...Kopaka: So we stay here?Gaaki: We stay here.Hahli: Well Jaller, since we might be in here a long time, could you consider a little, private, talk with me?Jaller: Well, I guess, if it's important.Hahli: Oh, it's life changing!Jaller: OK.(Jaller goes with Hali to the corner.)Jaller: So, I suppose it's about Lewa, Gali, and Pohatu. It's OK. I feel for them too. I hope they will be alrigh--Hahli: (Frowning.) No. It's not that... You know, I-- I-- I...Jaller: It's OK. You don't need to be embarrassed. I will miss them too.Hahli: You, know, Jaller, I've always admired you, and--Jaller: (Frowning.) Isn't this a bit off topic? I thought you had something life changing to say!Hahli: But this is life changing! Jaller... Jaller I love--Jaller: Hewkii. I know. It must be really hard for you, now that he's dieing. But at least the jail gaurds gave him some medicine. (Jaller quickly walks away.)Hahli: I sooo ruined that! I shouldn't have been so abrupt! Maybe if I can make him jealous...Back in the three Toa Nuvas' cell, a knock is heard at the door:Gali: Yes?Pohatu: NOT THE VAHKI!!!(A fire glatorian opens the door.)Fire glatorian: So sorry, water glatorian, about the lock-up. Just security measures before your trial.Gali: I can't understand a word you're saying, babbleface.Fire glatorian: (Thinking.) I guess I'll need my two-way translator I always carry around. (He pulls out a very large device.)Author's note: Don't worry, this one translates better than the last two...Fire glatorian: Come, follow me. Bring your friends, the two skrall, and please hurry. It's time for your trial!(Gali hauls Lewa over her shoulder, and drags him towards the door.)Gali: I can't pull both Poha- I mean the skrall over there and this one, as one's hurt and the other one's crazy.Fire glatorian: I'll pull the other skrall.(He grabs Pohatu.)Pohatu: NOOO! PLEASE DON'T THROW ME IN THE VOLCANO!Fire glatorian: What?!Gali: He's crazy, remember?Fire glatorian: Oh. Well, follow me then.(The fire glatorian, Gali, Lewa, and Pohatu, each are either dragged or walk down a long corridor, through a few stone rooms, down some stairs, up some stairs, down some stairs, through a triple bolted door labeled “ɸʥʯΘΔ ʥψψϷ” (trial room), and into a huge room with many seats, two of which are filled by a fire agori and a water glatorian. (Whose names are Fraakask and Meta.))

*In the office of the owner of Matamart (Pohatu).*Pohatu: Yes, please, sit down, sit down.Hakann: *Sitting.*Pohatu: So what is this important offer you wanted to make?Hakann: Alright, so I'm Hakann--Pohatu: Aren't you the guy who held up a register a few days ago?Hakann: Well, I really needed the cereal... Consumer testing, you see!Pohatu: Mm hm. Look kid, I don't have much time. I have a meeting with the C.E.O. of my armor supplier, and we're working out an important deal, so-Hakann: This is far more important.Pohatu: Sure. Now what is it?Hakann: Taaaaahdah!*Kopaka walks in rolling a large cart covered in a cloth.*Hakann: And now... for the moment you've all been wai--Pohatu: Get to the point.*Kopaka pulls the cloth off of the cart, revealing what looks like a box of Sugar Bula, except it's silver instead of yellow, and it has a blue label that says "Now with no sugar!" and also "100% organic."*Pohatu: Nice. That's great. Out of my office.Hakann: But wait, don't you see the potential?Pohatu: Yeah, I see a nice rip-off of Sugar Bula that claims to have "no sugar."Hakann: But this is the pinnacle of marketing! Look, the moms buy the sugarless Sugar Bula, right?Pohatu: Whatever.Hakann: Then they peel off the label that says "sugarless" and "organic."Pohatu: Why?Hakann: And then they give it to their happy matoran, who eat it up thinking it's still teeming with sugar!Pohatu: That's not bad actually, but the whole concept seems to still be flawed somehow. Look, how 'bout this. You put ten boxes of the stuff in the cereal isle. Then we see how fast it sells. Then I decide. In the meantime, out of my office!!*A few hours later, in Kopaka's house.*Kopaka: As you know, I've been forced to close my business, due to um... Hakann.Investors: BOOOO! BOOO! WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK! BOOO!Kopaka: So, I took your money and poured it into Hakann's business.Investors: BOOOOO! BOOOO! WE WANT TO SUE!Kopaka: And if you don't want your money to go down the drain, I'll have to ask a favor of you.Investors: BOOOOOOO! BOOOOO! GIVE US OUR MONEY! GIVE US OUR MONEY!Kopaka: Look, you're not getting it.Investors: SUE HIM! SUE HIM! SUE HIM! SUE HIM! SUE HIM!Kopaka: Yet. But if you all go into the store, and buy the silver "sugarless" Sugar Bula, Hakann's company might succeed, and you'd all make millions.Investor: Million?Investor 2: We make money?Investor 2: Everybody go to Matamart!

Yeah, back when this was originally written (along with the rest of the comedies), I seemed to mix up "here" and "hear" along with "there," "their," and "they're," so I'm constantly fixing them. Unfortunately, I don't always catch them. Thanks!I have more written so you shouldn't have to wait long.

Sprokle: Well? Were there toys there?Stitch: … (Nods.)Sprokle: Did they act hostile?Stitch: … (Nods.)Sprokle: Were there signs of a previous battle?Stitch: … (Nods.)Sprokle: Was there more than one kind of toy there?Stitch: … (Nods.)Sprokle: Can you do anything but nod? Stitch: …(Nods.)Sprokle: As they were hostile, I think we have the go-ahead--G.I. Joe: Don't move!Sprokle: Wha-- quick, Drift! Get the mouse--G.I. Joe: Mice are useless against G.I. Joes! (He pulls out a plastic toy handgun.)Sprokle: What do you want?G.I. Joe: Obedience.Sprokle: Hey, look, a flying toaster!G.I. Joe: Where?(The G.I. Joe gets hit by a computer mouse, swung at his head by Drift.)G.I. Joe: Man down...(He falls unconscious.)Sprokle: Wow, the great weapons we get from that completely useless machine never stop coming! (He points to a computer, which has its screen broken, its mouse missing, and its keyboard torn apart. The computer tower itself has a giant hole in the side.)G.I. General: Well, well, well, what do we have here? One of our boys, unconscious, and a bunch of stiff plastic bobbled headed bullies.Sprokle: Where? I don't see any bullies! Oh, there. (He looks around, seeing a ton of G.I. Joes surrounding the Funkeys.)G.I. General: I will now test your intelligence, using the standard G.I. method, to see if you could be of future use to us. Or not. Recite Pi.Sprokle: Oh, I like pie. Cherry is red, and looks so funky, and lemon is cool, and looks like--G.I. General: Fail. You?Stitch: …G. I. General: Also fail. I.Q. rating for this species: zero. Correct answer: Pi =3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 58209 74944 59230 78164 06286 20899 86280 34825 34211 70679 82148 08651 32823 06647 09384 46095 50582 23172 53594 08128 48111 74502 84102 70193 85211 05559 64462 29489 54930 38196 44288 10975 66593 34461 28475 64823 37867 83165 27120 19091 45648 56692 34603 48610 45432 66482 13393 60726 02491 41273 72458 70066 06315 58817 48815 20920 96282 92540 91715 36436 78925 90360 01133 05305 48820 46652 13841 46951 94151 16094 33057 27036 57595 91953 09218 61173 81932 61179 31051 18548 07446 23799 62749 56735 18857 52724 89122 79381 83011 94912 98336 73362 44065 66430 86021 39494 63952 24737 19070 21798 60943 70277 05392 17176 29317 67523 84674 81846 76694 05132 00056 81271 45263 56082 77857 71342 75778 96091 73637 17872 14684 40901 22495 34301 46549 58537 10507 92279 68925 89235 42019 95611 21290 21960 86403 44181 59813 62977 47713 09960 51870 72113 49999 99837 29780 49951 05973 17328 16096 31859 50244 59455 34690 83026 42522 30825 33446 85035 26193 11881 71010 00313 78387 52886 58753 32083 81420 61717 76691 47303 59825 34904 28755 46873 11595 62863 88235 37875 93751 95778 18577 80532 17122 68066 13001 92787 66111 95909 21642 01989 38095 25720 10654 85863 27886 59361 53381 82796 82303 01952 03530 18529 68995 77362 25994 13891 24972 17752 83479 13151 55748 57242 45415 06959 50829 53311 68617 27855 88907 50983 81754 63746 49393 19255 06040 09277 01671 13900 98488 24012 85836 16035 63707 66010 47101 81942 95559 61989 46767 83744 94482 55379 77472 68471 04047 53464 62080 46684 25906 94912 93313 67702 89891 52104 75216 20569 66024 05803 81501 93511 25338 24300 35587 64024 74964 73263 91419 92726 04269 92279 67823 54781 63600 93417 21641 21992 45863 15030 28618 29745 55706 74983 85054 94588 58692 69956 90927 21079 75093 02955 32116 53449 87202 75596 02364 80665 49911 98818 34797 75356 63698 07426 54252 78625 51818 41757 46728 90977 77279 38000 81647 06001 61452 49192 17321 72147 72350 14144 19735 68548 16136 11573 52552 13347 57418 49468 43852 33239 07394 14333 45477 62416 86251 89835 69485 56209 92192 22184 27255 02542 56887 67179 04946 01653 46680 49886 27232 79178 60857 84383 82796 79766 81454 10095 38837 86360 95068 00642 25125 20511 73929 84896 08412 84886 26945 60424 19652 85022 21066 11863 06744 27862 20391 94945 04712 37137 86960 95636 43719 17287 46776 46575 73962 41389 08658 32645 99581 33904 78027 59009 94657 64078 95126 94683 98352 59570 98258 22620 52248 94077 26719 47826 84826 01476 99090 26401 36394 43745 53050 68203 49625 24517 49399 65143 14298 09190 65925 09372... (He continues to list numbers.)Sprokle: He's obviously more brains than brawn! I'm sure we can take on all these G.I. dopes. Funkeys attack!G.I. General: So be it. You have chosen your fate. Joe, err sorry, I mean Joe 1254, puncture that water pipe.Joe 1254: Your command is my wish!G.I. General: You look like you contain electronics, don't you, Fusskys? I hope they're water proof. POP! HSSSSSSSSSSS.... SPLLLLAAAAASHHHHH....Sprokle: Noooo.... someone cover my electronics! Quick! Get inside! (He points to the computer with the hole in the side.)Stitch: ... KZZZHACH! (Sparks fly.)Sprokle: Quick!(The Funkeys run all over the place, crowding in the effort to get inside the computer.)Glub: Wataah! (Slurp.) It's baadZAHCH!Rom: Another one down!Berger: Watch out! It's getting deeper!Sprokle: INSIDE! Don't push! (He runs into the computer.)G.I. General: Hmm? Having problems? You'll have more when you have to run back out of the computer. It might have been good to stop the water falling on you, but once this basement's flooded... Well, let's just say it makes a nice, pre-made, mass grave. I wonder how many volts of electricity you'll all generate together? Joe 934: Let's get out of here. I hate it when we float around in the water... we just bob, and bob, and bob, and bob, until we finally hit the shore. Nasty stuff.G.I. General: That's because you're the one who skipped your swim training. No, we'll stay and watch... the show.Sprokle: EVERYBODY OUTSIDE! Don't push!Vlurp: But it's too deep now! We'll need a boat!Sprokle: Just use that leather DVD case!Vlurp: It won't fit all of us!Sprokle: Leaders and officers first. All the rest, good luck, and every man for himself!(The high-ranking Funkeys board their "ship.")Vlurp: Don't leave us!Sprokle: No room! Maybe you can try the CD case... looks a little water-absorbent though.(The lower-ranking Funkeys inspect a small, hard, CD case, covered in cloth, closed with a zipper, and made with 100% pure synthetic material.)G.I. General: I wonder how long before they realize that the DVD case is heading underneath the waterfall?(He points at the punctured water pipe, located at the ceiling. It is pouring water out of it, flowing to the basement floor like a waterfall. The DVD case is floating straight towards it.)Sprokle: No! No! No! It's not supposed to end this-- SPLASH! SCHHHAZHK!(The leather case tips over, and is temporarily submerged by the force of the stream. When it reemerges, all the Funkey officers are gone.)G.I. General: What a pity. The show's half over. Now I want to see what happens to that CD case!Vlurp: Uh... maybe we'd be safer staying here.Berger: You crazy? We'll drown! I'm going aboard!Vlurp: You crazy? It'll sink! I'm staying here!G.I. General: Maybe I can solve this argument. G.I.s, let's siege them! Attack them while they've got know place to go!Vlurp: You win, Berger. We can't stay trapped in the computer if they attack us. Everybody on the boat!Drift: We'll never fit!Vlurp: Oh? Then I'll go alone!Gabby: But that case could carry at least eight Funkeys!Vlurp: You think I care! It's like Sprokle said, "every man for himself!" (He pushes the case, carrying only himself, into the water.)Vlurp: Have fun dieing! What would I need them for? They'd only slow me down!(The case begins to absorb water, and the seams leak, causing the inside to fill with water.)Vlurp: I'm sinking! S.O.S! Won't someone save me- *Bubble bubble.*G.I. General: Well Funkeys, I don't have time to enjoy the rest of the show. G. I. Joes, let's go. That's all forever!

Lewa: Alright, now what? Am I done-finished yet?Random guy: Not yet. First, you must do three hundred and fifty pull-ups.Lewa: Yes sir! ~~~Lewa effortlessly does the pull-ups with the help of his mask of levitation.~~~Random guy: Tahu, you may stop with the push-ups now, and switch to pull-ups.Tahu: Err, I'm not that good with arm strength, but I'll do my--Random guy: Good, you should be able to do eight hundred and fifty no problem.Tahu: But...Random guy: That toa of air did three hundred and fifty in just a minute.Tahu: But he had the mask of levitation!Random guy: In the Navy, we encourage good use of resources to make tasks more efficient. Why don't you just get your own from your Suva?Tahu: It was destroyed!Random guy: In the Navy, we promote good care and responsibility towards our own possessions. If you needed it you should have kept better care of it. Now get going. Lewa, since you have proven yourself strong, resourceful, and responsible, you have passed my examination. You will start on the M.N.S. Floating Madu, as a Purple Officer First Class. Just go out the door to the left.Tahu: Random guy: Alright Tahu, that is enough pull-ups for me to assess your capabilities. On to your test. Press the red button on the back of that matoran's head.Tahu: *Presses*Matoran: Physical Training Robotic Matoran Model No. 543 welcomes you to your training session. Please state your level of physical fitness.Tahu: *Thinking* Heh heh, I think I'll trick it into giving me an easy test. *speaking* My fitness level is lazy couch potato!Matoran: Thank you. Your level of physical fitness has been processed. Please state your level of mental fitness.Tahu: That of a Toa Nuva of air.Matoran: Thank you. Your level of mental fitness has been processed. Your training will now begin. You have five seconds to reach safety. You have four seconds to reach safety. You have...Tahu: Ha! *walks behind pull-up bar*Matoran: You have two seconds to reach safety. You have one second to reach safety. Time expired. *cocks blaster* Scanning! You have been detected by radar. Your choice of shelter will now be tested. *slowly fires giant foam ball at the bar, which bounces off*Tahu: Ha ha, resourcefulness and creativity at its best!Matoran: Test No. 001 has been passed. Congratulations.Tahu: Alright, so now what?Random guy: Well... I am extremely happy to inform you that you've successfully been assigned to the M.N.S. Floating Madu, as a-Tahu: Yes!!!Random guy: Seatoa Recruit in the Ship Cleaning Department.Tahu: Whaaaaat?!!! How could this happen?! I did hundreds more push-ups than Lewa! I did plenty of pull-ups without even needing a mask! I passed the test effortlessly!Random guy: Yes, yes, yes. Your automatic (I had nothing to do with this) report card says:"STEP ONE: PUSH-UPS:The recruit demonstrated failure to correctly estimate his abilities and set goals higher than he was able to achieve in the time allotted. The recruit insisted on being "always fit," despite only completing 1/6th of the 3000 push-ups he claimed he was capable of, based on his own rate of 10 push-ups per second.STEP TWO: PULL-UPS:The recruit made excuses when asked to perform the exercise. The recruit demonstrated lack of responsibility, admitting to having let his Toa Suva be destroyed.STEP THREE: TEST:The recruit assessed himself at the physical level of a lazy couch potato and at the mental level of a Toa Nuva of air. He successfully confirmed these levels by passing the test."Tahu: http://www.bzpower.com/board/public/style_emoticons/default/mad.gif Random guy: Just go through the door on the left to receive your uniforms and insignia.Lewa: My my my, what gleaming shiny buttons! Oh-- Hi Tahu.Tahu: *Picks up uniform* Ha ha, I got gold buttons and you only got silver. Wait a second, where's my puffy hat?!Lewa: I think that white err... cap-hat over there is yours, Tahu.Tahu: What? Is that an upside-down soup bowl or an extremely odd frisbee? I'm not wearing that. Wait! Is that my uniform? Why do I only get one white stripe when he gets three red ones? I'm the toa of fire! And what the heck is that scarf for? The pirates to choke me with? Is this a girl's uniform? How is this blue supposed to match my red armor? And why the--Random guy: Shut up. Here, you know what, you look like you could use a little cheering up.Tahu: What? Do I get my choker scarf in red now?Random guy: No, I was thinking more along the lines of a free visit to my expert mask cutter. He's a registered barber and will get you in Navy shape in no time. Head that way please.Lewa: Do I get a mask cut too?Random guy: If you want. Personally, I think you look good with more face cover than the Mask of Time.