TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. Okay, there are a lot of grammar/whatnot issues, but there's also this rule: Unfortunately, I think that the rouge Makuta is too much of an original character to fit in the contest guidelines. I would PM bonesiii and ask. -TLhikan

As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7743&p=466548"]Certainty[/url] by Baron Von Nebula I see problems with this entry. As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7746#entry464177"]Hunter's Folly[/url] by Felix Dzerzhinsky I see problems with this entry. As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7740"]The Teacher[/url] by Tikiturbo I see a problem with this entry. As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7714&p=466864"]Casualties[/url] by toa jalokim I see problems with this entry. As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7744&p=467289"]Invasion[/url] by Lewa Krom I see problems with this entry. As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7720"]Belief[/url] by Duel Matrix I see problems with this entry. (I have no idea why, but those last two links hate me and won't be correctly formatted no matter what I do). -TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. First, grammerly stuff: I think it should be "who". Either way, there should be a comma after "Visorak" and you doubled spaced after "the" . I'm guessing "beings" was what was intended here? Another spacing thing. Canon stuff: I think that even in the MU, plasma acts like a gas. You could say a pool of lava/melted metal or whatnot. Other than that, good story! -TLhikan

I know how you feel. There's probably some reason for that, I don't know what. I just hope they judge ours at some point. Admittedly I'm worried how the judges will think of our stories. Carry on. Sorry we're not as fast as we could be, but I know that personally, I have finals in a week, so I don't always have a lot of spare time :blush:. Rest assured, we're trying to get to all of the entries. For people I've already judged: I may be a bit slow getting back to some of you, because I'm trying to find time to go through people's stories that haven't been reviewed yet. -TLhikan

If you like them, you don't necessarily have to. We don't know exactly how big a Dikapi is, it just might seem confusing to someone that Ancient and a Matoran could fit on the same animal. As for the Cordak missile, that's a tad shakier. The Cordak weapons were designed by Hydraxon for the OoMN. It's possible that Xia kept the plans though. If you think those explanations work, leave the Cordak and Dikapi in. -TLhikan

As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7749]The Unknown Turaga[/url] by ZibbyWharrgarbl I see problems with this entry.

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. Minor grammatical stuff: "That" would be more correct than "which". Also, the sentence sounds a tad off to me, but that just may be my style of writing/reading. Tense trouble: Kodan has been speaking in present tense until this sentence. Question mark needed . This sentence is rather awkwardly constructed (and contains a spelling error ). Perhaps "It pains me to think on what happened next, even fleetingly. That scene will (I'm not sure what word you're trying to put here) plague nightmares for the rest of my life, however short it may be. I see no cannon issues though, so you're good there !

As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry:http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7748"]The First Hunter[/url] by Emissary to the VoidI see problems with this entry.

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. Metaphysical is one word . I'm not sure that a denizen of the Matoran Universe would have angels or demons as concepts. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt on some things (Ancient getting ahold of a Cordak Missile, the Dikapi) because I can imagine canon explanations for them. However, some of the other judges might be less generous. Just a heads up .Also, I would've thought that Ancient would have put something in there about being a OOMN agent, but then again, maybe not. It's your story .All in all though, good work!-TLhikan

That's a good point. I would wait and see what Bonesiii thinks of the situation, or pm him and ask.

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed.It is a very good story though .I think the only canon issue that I see is Gar: BS01 says that he himself was injured, necessitating a trip to Karzahni. You could through in a couple of lines about him having an injury as well.Grammar issues: For this sentence to be grammatically correct, it should be "had actually asked", although I think "had actually meant" works better. This is a tad unclear; I assume it either means that Karzahni is giving Reysa a vision of how messed up he could have made him, or Reysa is just really ticked off at this point. I don't think "doomed" fits here; they both survived after all. -TLhikan

Crud, I've been forgetting to do this.As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry:Predators by Toa SylarI see problems with this entryAs an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry:Dawning Valor by DoomIgnika.I see problems with this entry.As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry:The Journal by ClickI see problems with this entry.

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. Well, you certainly made me do my homework on this one .be Maybe this is just a personal issue, but you'd think as Fe-Matoran, the Nynrah would be metallic grey. Anyway, grammar stuff: It's a somewhat confusing sentence; for a start, "would" doesn't fit with the tense here.-TLhikan

I would ask bonesiii first.

It's fun to be a judge . -TLhikan

Sorry, wasn't online for a while. Anyway, yes, you have permission to edit. However, I would ask Bones via PM about the keystone. -TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. While it is possible to have underwater waves, I think they're more common in lakes. "Current" might work better here. Capitalization error there.The main thing though is the Keystone: I don't recall it ever being in Mahri Nui to begin with. Are you suggesting that after it was broken in this story, it was transported to Karda Nui? I guess that fits in the time frame. -TLhikan

I take it you've never built the Axalara or the like ?I used to pile all of the pieces, but now I go bag by bag. It makes big sets a lot easier.-TLhikanYeah. And "with the like" you mean the Rockoh?Well, I have the Axalara and the Thornatus. A couple of my other larger sets would have been a mystery without the directions.When I was younger, I tried to keep the set in whatever pose was in the directions. I miss how pretty the 2001 manuals looked...-TLhikan

I take it you've never built the Axalara or the like ?I used to pile all of the pieces, but now I go bag by bag. It makes big sets a lot easier.-TLhikan

I proposed it as their main base, which would mean the Totem would be kept there, but I don't remember if bones/Swert liked the idea or not.(Hmm, that gives me an idea: Fly near the enemy's base where his totem is. The two totem's proximity will cause more Olmak Effects near the enemy's base! And even though I'm pretty sure the Olmak Effect doesn't work like that, no one ever accused the Iron Hawks of being geniuses.)-TLhikan

-TLhikan

Thanks, was anything decided on scale for it? There's a cockpit looking thing on it, which could vary from being a one man thing (Not exactly a fortress then), to a whole drive room of sorts, or larger still.Well, the tan part is supposed to be a runway.I made the bomber is a bit over-scaled (I really wanted a plane on the MOC ), but you can think of it as a absolutely giant bomber if that's better. I think Bonesiii's description works best.-TLhikan

I didn't want it to be too powerful, but if you think it works better the way you say, then sure, sounds like a better idea . We could call it the Kanohi Btou .

Vehicles Contest.The topic was on the old board, sad to say, but I do have some pics on my brickshelf. Mask idea (more like "take one of bonesiii's ideas and make a mask out of it" but whatever):The Mask of Access Powerless on it's own, the Mask of Access allows a Matoran or Turage using it to wear a Great/Noble (depending on what kind of mask it is itself) Inakko, and then a third mask, allowing them to use the power of that third mask. Although the strain of using three masks weakens the effects, it still allows Matoran to access mask powers and Turaga to use Great mask powers.So, yeah, that's sort of my idea.-TLhikan