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The Official Rpg Planning Topic


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837 replies to this topic

#641 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 01:28 AM

First, I didn't say they didn't stop making disks. I just said the masks were pressure molded.

 

That clarifies a little bit, then. Sill seems somewhat strange they would give up on making masks of power. I guess, then, my next question is - why does mentioning this matter. It's like you're throwing it out as a major plot point, but if that's the case.... it really doesn't do much. Unless we're not going to be allowed to use mask powers or something like that, the paragraph just wastes space.

 

One of your points has bearing on the story. PM me and I'll tell you why this isn't a plothole.

 

That... doesn't narrow it down to any of the points.

 

In answer to your question: This city is BIG. What could you expect after 700,000 years.

 

Well, a little expansion for one. It seems that at least a very large chunk of the population, the Ta-Matoran, don't like it here. The Po-Matoran seem to just barely be tolerating it, too. If that much of the population - who appear to not be enslaved - don't like the place, they would have just up and left a long time ago to form their own cities far off.

 

Also - are these people just not advancing at all? If it's been 700,000 years, that's more than enough time for them to have gone off to space. Heck, they'd have been able to reach another habitable planet without using FTL speeds and colonize it. That's enough time to have spread out across more than just the world.

 

Is this supposed to be the largest city on the planet? If so, I guess. But it just doesn't seem like it would be, considering this wasn't a Nuva founded city or anything. It was a Marhi - somehow - founded one.

 

So this seems more like nitpicking. Bottom line, is this a viable story?

 

Yes. Yes it is.

 

Most of my problems stem from the fact that I see people wanting to spread out from just one city, and I can't imagine that many people staying here if they obviously aren't able to get around well. But, then, I'm honestly not a very good judge for that. I've lived in a small town for as long as I can remember, and I've never enjoyed cities. As such, it's in my character to go off and live somewhere else. So I apologize if that affects my viewpoints, but it's an unfortunate side effect of personal beliefs on things.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#642 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 03:59 PM

So this new RPG seems pretty good- except for one crucial area. The Double-Life Dreamworld. Do the standard rules apply in it? Examples of this would be the Prohibited Masks and Custom powers rules. After all, you can be anyone. What if my Fe-Toran PC wanted to be a Makuta wearing the Mask of Light while wielding the made-up element of the Dark-Flame? Wouldn't Godmodding be possible too, do to the nature of the Dreamworld? Anyways, I think that you should take the element of two battlefields out of your first RPG, and put it into this one. After all, the concept of fighting on a mental plane fits much better in this RPG (A group drank Double-Life, knowing what it does, to try and defeat it from the inside out) than in your other one. One more question: What happens if you die in the Dreamworld? (Not the real world)


Edited by Canis Lupus, Mar 01 2013 - 03:59 PM.

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I used to have a banner here.

 

But that RPG is dead.

 

What now?


#643 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 04:46 PM

So this new RPG seems pretty good- except for one crucial area. The Double-Life Dreamworld. Do the standard rules apply in it? Examples of this would be the Prohibited Masks and Custom powers rules. After all, you can be anyone. What if my Fe-Toran PC wanted to be a Makuta wearing the Mask of Light while wielding the made-up element of the Dark-Flame? Wouldn't Godmodding be possible too, do to the nature of the Dreamworld? Anyways, I think that you should take the element of two battlefields out of your first RPG, and put it into this one. After all, the concept of fighting on a mental plane fits much better in this RPG (A group drank Double-Life, knowing what it does, to try and defeat it from the inside out) than in your other one. One more question: What happens if you die in the Dreamworld? (Not the real world)

 

Way ahead of you. I didn't state this well in the first incarnation of the description, but you can interact, fight, and investigate in the dream state.

 

In dream state, anything (Barring Metagaming, which can't really exist in a dream world anyway) is possible. Becoming Makuta Terridax (in the mind) is possible. Becoming the Toa Mata is possible. Godmodding cannot happen, as a character's dreams and powers can only apply to himself, not others. In other words, the person could look like the Mata-Nui robot, but the attack would still be at the level of a toa, matoran, agori, or glatorian.

 

As to death, it simply kicks you out of the dream world. This doesn't apply to permanent sleepwalkers, who just become completely brain-dead, and die permanently. Let me make this clear. The sleepwalkers are alive, just not in control of their bodies. They are intelligent, but can only respond intelligently in the dream state.

 

Below is a smoothed/final draft.(Colors will be added.)

 

 

 

 

It’s All in Your Head

 

Incoming transmission from Turaga Eryon…

 

Hello, friend, and welcome to New Metru City. I hope your stay with us will be pleasant. If you’re new here, be sure to stop by our welcome center, which has all the information you need to make your stay a comfortable one. Oh, and don’t forget to try Turaga Luya’s new drink, Double-life. It’s very stimulating-

 

Transmission interrupted.

 

New message from: Toa Rehu, New Metru Security and Investigation

 

“I hope you got most of that introductory message, but if you didn’t, too bad. We have a situation. For all visitors, heed my warning. Don’t drink Double-Life.

 

Why, you ask?

 

Put simply, Double-Life is tearing this town apart. It’s an addictive drink, one that leaves the body intact, but brings the mind to an unhealthy dependence upon it. Turaga Luya seems to be controlling and corrupting everyone through it. I think even Turaga Eryon is being influenced by it, and-

 

*garbled mumblings and shouts in the background*

 

 

-I can’t stay. They’re coming for me. I’m emailing you everything I know, along with my investigation results to you. If anything happens to me, keep the investigations going. Keep calm, stay safe, and for karz sake, DON’T GO OUT AT NIGHT TIME.”

 

Transmission ended.

 

File received. Downloading… Downloading… Downloading…

 

Error. File transmission interrupted. Partial file available. Do you want to view?

 

 

Casefile 126665             Name for reference: “Sleepwalking”

 

Investigator: Toa Rehu                   Date: 700,000 A.L.

Case Number: 984037776

 

First sighting: District 7 “Lightning-strike tavern”

 

Crime: Murder                       Perpetrator: Jole, matoran of fire (Male)

Scene of crime: Security vehicles arrived at the scene of crime to see the perpetrator throttling another patron outside. Suspect appeared to be doing it in his sleep, as witness reports said that he was throttling the victim with his eyes closed. Would not respond to mandatory warnings. Shocked with low-level shock guns. Refused to respond. Shocked again with high-level shock. Short circuited and went into Cardiac-arrest. Died without regaining consciousness.

 

Sub-file: Documented Evidence, failed to open. The file may be corrupt or fragmented.

 

Opening folder: Vital information

 

History of New Metru

 

New Metru was founded by 4 of the original 6 Toa Inika after the reuniting of Spherus Magna. Originally cobbled together from pieces of the Makuta robot, and parts from the original Metru Nui, New Nui was a ramshackle colony that grew into the largest city on Spherus Magna, barring New Atero. Because of the great crash, much of the technology in the old Metru Nui was destroyed, and much of the innovation of the last hundred centuries was lost to the Matoran and Agori. Using what was left of the technology, these original matoran began to piece together the technology of the past.

            Today, New Metru is far beyond the technology of the past, and no longer uses the craftsman’s process of making masks. Production of disks is now relegated to programmed machines, and variables in disks are obsolete. Mask-making is now an ancient art form, handed down from master to apprentice. Finding one today is scarce, as most masks are pressure-molded from disks into existence. Airships and hover-cars are common household items, and the average matoran lives in complete peace and freedom.

            New Metru is governed by the Council of 4, in accordance with the 4 original founders. The current governing council has ruled for almost 30,000 years, with the exception of Turaga Luya, Turaga of Light, who recently became the fifth member of the ruling council, a move that has been met with no small resistance from the matoran of the city. Resistance, however, is dwindling, with the popularity of Double-Life being so high.

 

Opening file: locations

 

Locations

 

New Metru is built on two levels; the top level being known simply as “upstairs” and the bottom level “The basement.” Each level has three koros:

 

Upstairs: Air, Lightning, and Water

 

Basement: Stone, Fire, and Iron

 

In the center of the city is a giant head, once the mind of Makuta, Half buried in the ground beneath it. Still, the face of the robot juts out slightly above the skyline of skyscrapers. Within this head is the civic center of New Metru. All directions in the city correlate to this head, and the metrus correlate to this.

 

Forehead upstairs: Ga-Metru

Forehead basement: Po-Metru

Left side upstairs: Vo-Metru

Left side downstairs: Ta-Metru

Right side upstairs: Le-Metru

Right side basement: Fe-Metru

 

Ta-Metru: The forge, as usual. Being in the basement section of the city has somewhat embittered some of the members of this Metru, and a hotheaded fanatic is never unusual. Graffiti is a common sight, and the fires of Ta-metru burn constantly, giving off a somewhat erie glow to the basement. (Think somewhat steampunk)

 

Po-Metru: Although Po-Metruans are not great fans of being underground (they can’t build tall sculptures), they greet the challenge of building with that almost annoying cheerfulness that characterizes their hardy race. Style and functionality are combined in a beautiful blend. It is the most visited part of the downstairs area (Theme: Modern architecture)

 

Fe-Metru: Being underground doesn’t seem to affect most Iron tribe members much. Then again, nothing seems to affect them much. Most simply carry out their daily chores without complaint, preferring to leave style and art to the up dwellers. They are primarily miners, with thick heads and even thicker bodies. This view of life is transferred to their buildings. (Think square, drab, and uninteresting) However, it has also become one of the greatest breeding grounds for the Double-Life drink.

 

Le-Metru: Upbeat, always moving, innovating. This is the tallest metru, and by far the largest. Due to the nature of Le-matoran, very few seem addicted to the Double-Life drink. (Theme: futuristic)

 

Vo-Metru: The word here is hyper. This is a breeding ground for the immature, crazy, or just plain stupid. It also happens to hold the power source for the city. (Think constant gambling and drinking)

 

Ga-Metru: This is a place for philosophers, scientists, scholars, and geniuses to meet. Almost all the innovative ideas come from here. Many of these scholars never come out of their rooms, so there is little knowledge of what goes on inside. (Think Tibetan monasteries)

 

Opening file: Important information and rules

 

Important information

Very little is known about the drink Double-Life. What is known is this: It’s highly addictive, and pulls you into a fantasy world where you can create anything, be anyone, interact, and fight with others on the plane of the mind, and move at the speed of thought (I repeat, you CAN play, interact, build, fight, etc. in the dream state). Beware, however, if this sounds tempting. Each time you go in, it becomes harder to get out. If done too many times, the user becomes entrapped in that world, never waking. These creatures are what is now commonly called “Sleepwalkers.” (Note: Any reference to zombies is intentional) These Sleepwalkers seem to be placid during sunlight hours, so day dwellers are usually safe. However, don’t go out at night. These sleepwalkers appear to be somewhat intelligent, and can think somewhat independently. They also commit violent acts randomly, and you can never be sure if a sleepwalker will ignore you or attack you. They move fast and are stronger than they appear. There doesn’t seem to be contagion from bites or scratches, but keep your distance, all the same.

          Turaga Eryon, Chairman of the council, for reasons unknown to us, is ignoring this, calling this an outbreak of plague. We suspect he himself is under the influence of small amounts of Double-Life himself.

 

Factions

There are several factions within this city, most radical, some logical.

 

The Naturalists: Mostly made up of Agori and Glatorian, this group has shrunk from the technological leaps New Metru has made, preferring to live a simple life on the outskirts of Ga-Metru. Don’t let this fool you, though. They are by far the most agile and well-trained fighters, using only simple weapons to achieve their goals. Most are neutral to the council of four, although a recent uprising has been made against the fifth member of the Council, Luya. All Naturalists kill sleepwalkers on sight, declaring them the “Monsters of New Metru”

 

The Dream-Worshippers: Also known as “Sleepwalker buddies.” Most of them are half gone from usage of the Double-Life drink, but the ones who can still coherently think argue that they are simply returning to a “Naturalistic state of mind.” This is the main producer of sleepwalkers.

 

The Sleep-Busters: These are also known as “Sleep-killers.” All of them have a distinct hatred for all sleepwalkers, and simply kill or detain on sight. Most are basement-dwellers blaming the upstairs for the problems caused by the drink. Becoming one is easy. Kill as many sleepwalkers as you can.

 

The Investigators: A group dedicated to the study of sleepwalkers, and the cure. These are usually the even-keeled ones, who simply want to get to the bottom of the epidemic, and find out who’s behind this.

 

The Survivors: This is less of a group, and more of an individual choice. These are the people who simply hole themselves up, hide, and hope that the sleepwalkers don’t find them.

 

(Note: These clans are just starters for your imagination. If you have a better idea, tell me, and I might add it to the list)

 

Rules:

 

1.     All BZPRPG rules apply.

2.     You can live in the dream world permanently (a.k.a., be a sleepwalker and act as a sleepwalker), interacting with other chars in the dream-state, but state so in your description if you do.

3.     Character creation is limited to 7 chars a person

4.     After 20 uses of Double-Life, your character becomes a sleepwalker. Period. You can stay in the dream world for as long as you like (time passes at twice the speed of real time in dream state), but that’s the cap to usage of the drink. You can continue to interact with others in said dream state, and play as your character, but your char is subject to the commands of Turaga Luya, or one of her thinking minions (that’s a contest to win for later)

5.     If you die in the dream-state, you simply get kicked out of your dream. If you die as a sleepwalker, however, you die permanently.

6.     Masks not allowed: Time, Life, Creation, undeath, Conjuring, Light, Shadow.

7.     All Solid-state holographics, giant laser cannons, phasers, lightsabers, etc. must be approved by a moderator. If the machine doesn’t exist in the canon universe, explain it, its limitations, and power source

8.     Custom Powers is ditto

9.     NO METAGAMING!

10.                        NO GODMODDING! And I must stress this. In the dream world, you can make yourself look like whatever you want to be. However, your attacks, defenses, parrys, and dodges will be as if you were in the real world, albeit much faster. At the same time, so will everyone else’s. Your dreams can only influence you, not others. If you want to kill endlessly, you can imagine up a shotgun and hundreds of zombies and kill endlessly, but THEY ARE NOT REAL! If you play with a PC, treat the character as a PC.

11.                        All players must post what character they are, and where, after IC (ex. IC(Noob, unknown)). If you’re drinking Double Life, the location is dream state. Sleepwalker rules are the same, but you can only posts the sleepwalker’s actions in third person, if the action is in the real world.

12.                         Character creation sheet is the same as the BZPRPG, with the aforementioned requirement of stating whether you’re a sleepwalker or not.

13.                        Have fun!


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Gentlemen, it's time to spread the word. And the word is: Panic

 

life is not a question of how long we live, but what we do with the life we have



BZRPG profiles


#644 Offline ToaOfAwesome

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 08:07 PM

OK. So, I've been fixing up The Dead World and now that the contests are coming up this is more important than EVAR! Here ya go. Just hope I'm not too vague this time.

 

Posted Image

(BANNER MADE IN BLENDER 3D)

 

 

[font="tahoma, geneva, sans-serif;"]The[/font]

[font="tahoma, geneva, sans-serif;"]Dead World[/font]

 

 

 

It all started one peaceful moment in an uncharted region in space at an unknown time. It was a peace broken by the glow of a colonizing ship dropping out of hyperspace. If sound could have traveled in space, one would have heard the roar of an inferno, the thunder of metal ripping, and the scream of the spaceship’s speed. As its doomed pilot valiantly maneuvered the craft and its countless passengers in stasis to safety, he realized that the beautiful blue planet he saw ahead of him would be the last thing he saw. Checking the dials, the pilot saw that there was almost no power left. He aimed the craft just right, and let its momentum carry it to the island he was aiming for.

 

With a monumental impact and slide, the pilot’s plan worked. The ship crashed bottom first on the island, ripping the passengers out of stasis, but with unknown consequences. The hero died, engulfed in the orange explosion that flooded the cockpit in seconds. The passengers, no memory left, made their way out of the wrecked ship. The majority had survived, and they soon started a life on this strange world. With limited knowledge, the survivors looked to the main computer for guidance. They soon learned to build houses and farm, and became aware of a past they had been stripped of. They didn’t know much, mostly just stories and data.

 

They started learning about their knew lives as well, things that either hadn’t been put in or were wiped from the computer during the crash. They learned that they lived on a moon with five other siblings that orbited around a planet that orbited around a star by itself. The survivors named the moons after people from the main computer’s stories.

 

The moon they lived upon was called Nokama Magna, as it was covered in oceans.

 

The moon closest to them, which was also the biggest moon, was named Tuma Magna, as it dominated the skies.

 

The next moon was named Tahu Magna, because it glowed red with the hundreds of active volcanoes upon its surface.

 

After Tahu Magna came Matoro Magna, named such because it was brilliant white, a product of the sunlight reflecting off its icy landscape.

 

Then came another world, one that was gold and bright, therefore being named Kini Magna.

 

The last of the moons was called Iruini Magna, because, being almost opposite to Nokama Magna’s orbit, it seemed to “teleport” around the skies.

The star was named Mata Nui, in honor of the Great Spirit.

 

There was one world, however, that was not given a historical name. This world was the planet they all orbited right outside its rings. It was called The Dead World. The Dead World was a huge and barren place, torn and dilapidated, with a massive chunk ripped out of its side.

 

Along with astronomy, the survivors discovered many other things. The survivors apparently had means to reproduce. Using technology and genetic modifications in their heartlights, they were able to start new generations. Soon, crossbreeds started to emerge, as the technology created hormones, not towards any particular species, but any that had the technology.

 

The main computer from the ship soon became like scripture to them, being all that was left of their once glorious past. The best part was that, although there were obviously disagreements in life, there were no wars like talked about in the main computer. Then one day they came across blueprints on the computer, but not for houses or spaceships, but weapons.

 

It didn’t take long for people to get the idea that with weapons at their side, they could get anything they wanted. They split into factions quite soon, and took possession of worlds. They fought over all kinds of things, spreading farther and farther into space. Soon the inevitable happened, and the war spread to The Dead World.

 

 

SPECIES THAT CAME FROM SHIP AND EXTRA INFO ABOUT THEM

 

Various Rahi

-Generic Rahi from the Matoran Universe. These Rahi spread around the moons, which strangely were devoid of all animal life, despite plant life. These species are non-playable.

 

Matoran Species

-Includes Matoran, Toa, and Turaga of every element. Playable.

 

Agori

-Playable.

 

Glatorian

-Playable.

 

Vortixx

-Playable.

 

Skakdi

-Playable.

 

Skrall

-Includes leader-class Skrall. All normal Skrall have slight psionic powers, due to the fact that any purebred Skrall would have to have had female Skrall in their family tree, which have psionic powers. Playable.

 

Various Unnamed Species

-These species include the species of Axonn, Brutaka, Johmak, Hydraxon, Botar, Nocturn, all six Barraki, Krekka, and Sidorak. Playable.

 

Bone Hunters

-Playable.

 

Zyglak

-Playable.

 

Atavistic Vorox

-Vorox before mutation. They have slightly large eyes and slender and smooth but nevertheless muscular forms. They have no tails, fangs, claws, etc. Playable.

 

Atavistic Zesk

-Atavistic Zesk are Zesk before mutation. They are like Matoran- or Agori-like Vorox. Playable.

 

Crossbreeds.

-Playable. If you want a character to be a crossbreed, PM me of what it is a crossbreed of (can only go back one generation, previous generation cannot be crossbreeds) and if I approve it, then I’ll give you the details of what that crossbreed is like.

 

 

 

NOTE ON TECH

 

The technological level is roughly a bit more than the average technological level in the Matoran Universe when at its prime.

 

 

NOTE ON LOCATIONS

 

There are many locations. Go here (https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing) for a description of all of them if you need a place to start.

 

 

 

FACTIONS:

 

For a more descriptive but lengthy thing about these places, go here(https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing).

 

Mangai

The Mangai Faction is a Faction that believes in peace, honor, etc. It is divided into two parts: the mare warlike part is the Aki, and the wiser part is the Rua. They currently live on Nokama Magna. This faction is playable, but you must choose Aki or Rua, because they are kind of like two factions in one, and therefore cannot have any neutral members.

 

Avsa

The Avsa Faction, once a close ally of the Mangai Faction, inexplicably became cannibalistic and evil, getting energy from their victims. This was first discovered in what is now called The Avsa Incident, and were exiled into space never to be seen again. They still are alive though, and seem to have found a way to harvest living beings from planets or ships without being near there, or at least detected. This has caused many sightings of ghost ships, ships that suddenly lose contact without warning and are found completely abandoned. This faction is not playable.

 

Purebreds

The Purebreds live on Tuma Magna, and are defending Matoro Magna from the Hordika Faction. They believe that there should be no crossbreeds (or “Mutts” as they call them), and that purebreds are superior to crossbreeds both socially and biologically. They have been known to keep crossbreeds as slaves. Not all purebreds are in the Purebred Faction, and do not all think they are superior etc. This faction is playable, but you must be a purebred for obvious reasons.

 

Hordika

The Hordika Faction derived from a massive group of ten thousand crossbreed slaves of the Purebreds that rebelled and took over Iruini Magna. They are the mortal enemies of the Purebreds, but are respected greatly by the rest of the Factions. They have strong morals and sense of honor and are fighting for Matoro Magna. This Faction is playable, but as they have not yet accepted recruits, your player must be a crossbreed.

 

Cordak

The Cordak Faction is a destructive and powerful weapon-producing Faction that has never before lost a war. They own Tahu Magna, and are the main military force in the Faction Wars. This Faction is playable.

 

 

 

RULES

 

1) Follow the basic BZPower and RPG forum rules (duh).

 

2) Do not God-Mod (meta-gaming, auto-hitting, etc.).

 

3) Do not break the rules (somebody’s gotta write that…).

 

4) Use the basic OOC: and IC: thing in the BZPRPG.

 

5) If you are unsure about a rule PM me.

 

6) Do not make a post entirely OOC:. Also, no double posting unless it’s really quiet and nobody’s posted for at least twelve hours.

 

7) If you have something funny happen, don’t go out of your way to do it, and don’t let it make things weird.

 

8) Do not bring a character back to life or make another closely resembling him/her. If you’re dead, you’re dead.

 

9) You can add things like romances, grudges, etc. but be realistic.

 

10) Take time to travel, and don’t just go teleporting around.

 

11) Be informative and writery in your posts. Nobody wants to hear, “My guy walks over to your guy and punches him and stuff. The end,” Wow, I was utterly captivated by the suspense.

 

12) Warning system:

 

            First warning: you are warned in a PM.

 

            Second warning: A certain amount of your characters are suspended from the RPG. Length of suspension and amount of characters depends on severity of action.

 

            Third warning: I will kill off a set amount of your characters.

 

            Fourth warning: Suspension for varying amount of time.

 

            Fifth warning: You’re outta here for the rest of the period and in half of the next period if this wins again.

 

13) If you think something you do will start a major “game-changing” event, PM me first.

 

 

 

CHARACTER CREATION

 

Name: Make sure it is Bionicle-like and not already taken.

Faction: It is okay to be neutral.

Gender:

Description: Be vivid. You can post a picture in addition to or instead of.

Elemental Influence: This occurs in everything, even Vortixx, but in some species (like Vortixx) only manifests itself in color and MAYBE personality. If you are a crossbreed with mixed elements, choose one to be dominant for your powers if applicable. You can mix them for your personality and appearance, however.

Species: If you are a crossbreed PM me first for approval.

Kanohi: Anybody can have Kanohi now, as Kanohi for other species were invented before the Faction Wars even started.

Weapon(s): Be reasonable.

Other Equipment: Optional, and be reasonable with this, too.

Vision Power: Only for Skakdi or characters with Skakdi DNA.

Age: This is optional. Granted, Bionicles live a very long time, so just say how old they would be in human years.

Weakness: Your character cannot be invincible!

Biography: Your character’s history. Make sure it corresponds with your storyline.

Any additional info you deem important…

 

Here are the Kanohi you can use:

Kanohi Hau The Mask of Shielding

Kanohi Pakari The Mask of Strength

Kanohi Miru The Mask of Levitation

Kanohi Kakama The Mask of Speed

Kanohi Akaku The Mask of Vision

Kanohi Kaukau The Mask of Water Breathing

Kanohi Huna The Mask of Concealment

Kanohi Ruru The Mask of Night Vision

Kanohi Mahiki The Mask of Illusion

Kanohi Matatu The Mask of Telekinesis

Kanohi Rau The Mask of Translation

Kanohi Pehkui The Mask of Diminishment

Kanohi Kualsi The Mask of Quick Travel

Kanohi Calix The Mask of Fate

Kanohi Kadin The Mask of Flight

Kanohi Sanok The Mask of Accuracy

Kanohi Iden The Mask of Spirit

Kanohi Zatth The Mask of Summoning

Kanohi Tryna The Mask of Reanimation

Kanohi Arthron The Mask of Sonar

Kanohi Faxon The Mask of Kindred

Kanohi Volitak The Mask of Stealth

Kanohi Garai The Mask of Gravity

The Mask of Biomechanics

The Mask of Growth

The Mask of Healing

The Mask of Psychometry

The Mask of Rebounding

The Mask of Sensory Aptitude

The Mask of Scavenging

 

Here are the Elements:

Fire

Ice

Water

Stone

Earth

Air

Jungle

Lightning

Iron

Magnetism

Plasma

Sonics

Gravity

Psionics

 

Here are the Vision Powers:

Heat Vision

X-Ray Vision

Telescopic Vision

Laser Vision

Impact Vision

Infrared Vision

Thermal Imaging

 

 

 

GOAL

 

In this game you basically want to live your life while fighting for your faction. This does not mean you should kill somebody of another faction without provocation (unless your character is like that), but definitely fight the enemy. For example, my super awesome hypothetical Mangai Faction dude wouldn’t walk into a tavern and slice some random Purebred Faction guy’s head off because he wasn’t in my faction (unless I was in the Hordika Faction, then I might do that), but I might go to The Dead World and attack a group of enemies. (This is mostly okay because The Dead World is basically a giant free-for-all battlefield.)

 

 

 

“GAME-CHANGERS”

 

A game changer is an action that will or could lead to and event that will change the RPG radically. For example, flying a ship into an enemy city and destroying everything. YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST PM ME BEFORE ENGAGING IN WHAT COULD BE A GAME CHANGER!!!

 

 

 

WHERE THIS SHOULD GO

 

For truth, let it go where it goes.

 

 

 

WHERE TO START

 

Start wherever you want. You can see the link to the locations stuff in LOCATIONS.


Edited by ToaOfAwesome, Mar 02 2013 - 10:00 AM.

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#645 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 08:23 PM

I like the story, but must we be part of a faction? I like to make turncoats, bounty hunters, etc.

 

Also, isn't the Avsa storyline a little... mature?

 

-Elrond


Edited by Elrond of Rivendell, Mar 01 2013 - 08:35 PM.

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#646 Offline ninjamonkey3000

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 08:25 PM

Just a basic idea, but perhaps some kind of post-Spherus Magna reformation thing where a group of travelers must deliver a mysterious item (I was thinking like some kind of innate weapon) to an unknown entity, and have to travel across the deserts and jungles, etc. to find said entity?


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#647 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 08:31 PM

ToaOfAwesome- Okay, this looks much better. Just one caveat, I think the Vorox and Zesk should be Bota Magnan, not atavistic. The atavistic form things basically just makes them slightly different forms of Glatorians and Agori. The Bota Magnan versions of the species are intelligent, and have all of the mutations.

 

ninjamonkey3000- The one problem I see with your idea is that there isn't a lot of room for players. My suggestion is that there is a reward for this item, and whoever delivers it gets the money. There are different groups, all trying to steal the item from each other. The ownership of the item constantly changes hands.


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#648 Offline ninjamonkey3000

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 08:33 PM

ninjamonkey3000- The one problem I see with your idea is that there isn't a lot of room for players. My suggestion is that there is a reward for this item, and whoever delivers it gets the money. There are different groups, all trying to steal the item from each other. The ownership of the item constantly changes hands.

That's a pretty awesome idea!  I think I'll actually use that if I make the RP.


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#649 Offline ToaOfAwesome

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 08:36 PM

I like the story, but must we be part of a faction? I like to make turncoats, bounty hunters, etc.

 

Also, does that mean spacecraft exist, or am I getting the wrong vibe?

 

-Elrond

To Elrond:

Ok, not sure if you were saying this to me or not, but I meant to put in somewhere that you don't have to be a faction. Also, yes, there are spaceships, in fact you can even fight in them if you want, it is TBRPG. Thanks!

 

To Canis Lupus:

Okay, that sounds good, actually.


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#650 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 08:39 PM

Ninjamonkey- That sounds like a great story, but I can't see it as an RPG. There's just not enough choice for individual players. You need a RPG with a little room for personal choice.

 

-Elrond

 

P.S. Toa of Awesome- what about the mature comment?


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#651 Offline ToaOfAwesome

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 08:59 PM

What mature comment? I didn't say anything weird in my last comment did I?


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#652 Offline Simon the Digger

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 09:04 PM

Ninjamonkey- That sounds like a great story, but I can't see it as an RPG. There's just not enough choice for individual players. You need a RPG with a little room for personal choice.

 

-Elrond

 

P.S. Toa of Awesome- what about the mature comment?

Cannibalism isn't exactly a new concept in the RPG forum. As long as it isn't graphic, there won't be any issues.


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#653 Offline ToaOfAwesome

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Posted Mar 01 2013 - 09:07 PM

OOOOOH! Did he mean mature CONTENT? Man, now I'm embarrassed.


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#654 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Mar 02 2013 - 11:12 AM

Okay, so I am tossing around an idea for an RPG. Basically, a giant space ship crashed into Spherus Magna and destroyed nearly everything. It mutated some people into strange creatures, which then started to surround the spaceship. The entire world of Spherus Magna is now an apocalyptic desert, except for one city called Atero Nui, which was preparing for a disaster. The goal of the RPG would just be to survive in a post-apocalyptic scenario. What do you think? (In case you are wondering, the space ship was driven by an insane Great Being.)


Edited by Canis Lupus, Mar 02 2013 - 11:43 AM.

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#655 Offline ToaOfAwesome

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Posted Mar 02 2013 - 11:29 AM

That sounds really awesome. I'm not usually one for zombie/apocalypse stuff, but that is pretty cool sounding. However, when you start on it, you might want to explain why an insane Great Being was driving a spaceship in the first place, why it mutated people, etc. Also, does Atero Nui have anything to do with the idea of New Atero? Just wondering. Tying this to the canon storyline could make this interesting. It has a cool alternate dimension feel to it. I can almost imagine Takanuva popping up in the middle of the crash scene like, "Stupid Olmak!"  :P


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#656 Offline ninjamonkey3000

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Posted Mar 02 2013 - 11:31 AM

I'd be down with that, probably would join even!


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#657 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Mar 02 2013 - 11:37 AM

That sounds really awesome. I'm not usually one for zombie/apocalypse stuff, but that is pretty cool sounding. However, when you start on it, you might want to explain why an insane Great Being was driving a spaceship in the first place, why it mutated people, etc. Also, does Atero Nui have anything to do with the idea of New Atero? Just wondering. Tying this to the canon storyline could make this interesting. It has a cool alternate dimension feel to it. I can almost imagine Takanuva popping up in the middle of the crash scene like, "Stupid Olmak!"  :P

 

The insane GB crashed the ship because he is really insane. Not your Vezon insane, I mean a complete lunatic. Why exactly he crashed the ship would be one of the main plot mysteries. (Or the main mystery, as the RPG wouldn't have any other mysteries.) Atero Nui is basically New Atero, just by a different name. As for why the ship's crash mutated people, it would either be that the ship had a mutagen, or the ship's power source was breaking down and released it's energies. With the first, that would be why the GB crashed the ship, (So he could spread it, which in his insane mind, was some sort of duty) and with the second, that would be why he went insane.


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#658 Offline ToaOfAwesome

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Posted Mar 06 2013 - 04:47 PM

Okay, so I posted a remake of The Dead World, but I didn't get as much critique as I'd originally hoped for, so I changed what I could see wrong with this and added some stuff, so yeah, here goes...

 

 

Posted Image

 

 

THE DEAD WORLD

 

It all started one peaceful moment in an uncharted region in space at an unknown time. It was a peace broken by the glow of a colonizing ship dropping out of hyperspace. If sound could have traveled in space, one would have heard the roar of an inferno, the thunder of metal ripping, and the scream of the spaceship’s speed. As its doomed pilot valiantly maneuvered the craft and its countless passengers in stasis to safety, he realized that the beautiful blue planet he saw ahead of him would be the last thing he saw. Checking the dials, the pilot saw that there was almost no power left. He aimed the craft just right, and let its momentum carry it to the island he was aiming for.

 

With a monumental impact and slide, the pilot’s plan worked. The ship crashed bottom first on the island, ripping the passengers out of stasis, but with unknown consequences. The hero is said to have died, engulfed in the orange explosion that flooded the cockpit in seconds. The passengers, no memory left, made their way out of the wrecked ship. The majority had survived, and they soon started a life on this strange world. With limited knowledge, the survivors looked to the main computer for guidance. They soon learned to build houses and farm, and became aware of a past they had been stripped of. They didn’t know much, mostly just stories and data.

 

They started learning about their knew lives as well, things that either hadn’t been put in or were wiped from the computer during the crash. They learned that they lived on a moon with five other siblings that orbited around a planet that orbited around a star by itself. The survivors named the moons after people from the main computer’s stories.

 

The moon they lived upon was called Nokama Magna, as it was covered in oceans.

 

The moon closest to them, which was also the biggest moon, was named Tuma Magna, as it dominated the skies.

 

The next moon was named Tahu Magna, because it glowed red with the hundreds of active volcanoes upon its surface.

 

After Tahu Magna came Matoro Magna, named such because it was brilliant white, a product of the sunlight reflecting off its icy landscape.

 

Then came another world, one that was gold and bright, therefore being named Kini Magna.

 

The last of the moons was called Iruini Magna, because, being almost opposite to Nokama Magna’s orbit, it seemed to “teleport” around the skies.

The star was named Mata Nui, in honor of the Great Spirit.

 

There was one world, however, that was not given a historical name. This world was the planet they all orbited right outside its rings. It was called The Dead World. The Dead World was a huge and barren place, torn and dilapidated, with a massive chunk ripped out of its side.

 

Along with astronomy, the survivors discovered many other things. The survivors apparently had means to reproduce. Using technology and genetic modifications in their heartlights, they were able to start new generations. Soon, crossbreeds started to emerge, as the technology created hormones, not towards any particular species, but any that had the technology implanted in them.

 

The main computer from the ship soon became like scripture to them, being all that was left of their once glorious past. The best part was that, although there were obviously disagreements in life, there were no wars like talked about in the main computer. Then one day they came across blueprints on the computer, but not for houses or spaceships, but weapons.

 

It didn’t take long for people to get the idea that with weapons at their side, they could get anything they wanted. They split into factions quite soon, and took possession of worlds. They fought over all kinds of things, spreading farther and farther into space. Soon the inevitable happened, and the war spread to The Dead World.

 

 

SPECIES THAT CAME FROM SHIP AND EXTRA INFO ABOUT THEM

 

Various Rahi

-Generic Rahi from the Matoran Universe. These Rahi spread around the moons, which strangely were devoid of all animal life, despite plant life. These species are non-playable.

 

Matoran Species

-Includes Matoran, Toa, and Turaga of every element. Playable.

 

Agori

-Playable.

 

Glatorian

-Playable.

 

Vortixx

-Playable.

 

Skakdi

-Playable.

 

Skrall

-Includes leader-class Skrall. All normal Skrall have slight psionic powers, due to the fact that any purebred Skrall would have to have had female Skrall in their family tree, which have psionic powers. Playable.

 

Various Unnamed Species

-These species include the species of Axonn, Brutaka, Johmak, Hydraxon, Botar, Nocturn, all six Barraki, Krekka, and Sidorak. Playable.

 

Bone Hunters

-Playable.

 

Zyglak

-Playable.

 

Bota Magna Vorox/Zesk

-Bota Magna Vorox/Zesk are normal Vorox and Zesk, only intelligent. Playable.

 

Atavistic Vorox

-Vorox before mutation. They have slightly large eyes and slender and smooth but nevertheless muscular forms. They have no tails, fangs, claws, etc. Playable.

 

Atavistic Zesk

-Atavistic Zesk are Zesk before mutation. They are like Matoran- or Agori-like Vorox. Playable.

 

Crossbreeds.

-Playable. If you want a character to be a crossbreed, PM me of what it is a crossbreed of (can only go back one generation, previous generation cannot be crossbreeds) and if I approve it, then I’ll give you the details of what that crossbreed is like.

 

 

 

TECHNOLOGY

 

The technological level is roughly a bit more than the average technological level in the Matoran Universe when at its prime. There are also Kanohi masks suited for any species or crossbreed.

 

The Kanohi Kanasi:

There is a mask called the Kanohi Kanasi, The Mask of Space. It is a secondary mask created, as the name suggests, for doing things in space. It is designed to be worn over a primary mask. When put on, the primary mask will disappear until the mask is removed again. The powers of the primary mask are programmed into the Kanasi, so that the it can use its own power and the wearer’s previous mask power.

 

The Kanasi has multiple powers of its own. One power is that displays pop up on the mask’s visor that the wearer can turn on or off. These displays include physics predictions, scans, the status of the wearer, calculator programs, etc. Another is that it allows the wearer to communicate with other wearers of this mask within a certain range.

 

Also, this mask allows the wearer to withstand harsh conditions found in space (vacuum, heat, cold, radiation, etc.), and to breathe in places like space, underwater, toxic environments, etc. For spacewalks, it allows the wearer to stick to surfaces and propel himself or herself through zero-gravity.

 

The Kanasi also makes the wearer look as though they are in a lit room, so that others in space can see them. They can turn this on or off. One of the last powers is night vision. Lastly, the wearer automatically gains a basic understanding of whatever technology they are near, allowing wearers to fix damage or drive vehicles, even if they have never done so before. Below is a picture of a Kanohi Kanasi.

 

Front: https://lh5.googleus...anasi_Front.jpg

Side: https://lh4.googleus...Kanasi_Side.jpg

(Sorry that the images are a little dark.)

 

Space Warfare:

Since there are battles in space, many technologies have been developed to fight in space. On battleships there are typically an array of missiles and various lasers and energy canons. These are often accompanied by larger and more powerful versions of Midak Skyblasters or Cordak Blasters. There are also one- to five-person fighters that come from the hangars. These usually carry small missiles, lasers, and other weapons depending on the size.

 

However sometimes, individual soldiers will be released into space wearing Kanohi Kanasi. They usually have long-range weapons (no projectile weapons, though), or melee weapons with long-range capabilities. Releasing individual soldiers into space is rare, however, so this will not happen usually unless something huge is going on.

 

Cloaking devices and force fields have, in fact been invented, but cloaking devices are made using the same ingredients as the Huna or Volitak, and therefore have the same weaknesses. Also, force fields can be weakened and destroyed, but it’s hard.

 

Kanoka Properties:

Many ships, machines, etc. have parts built using Kanoka Disk properties, giving them the abilities of either that Kanoka, or of a mask if the Kanoka are forged together.

 

 

 

LOCATIONS

 

There are many locations. Go here for a description of all of them if you need a place to start: https://docs.google....6xnjDm5TZo/edit

 

 

 

FACTIONS:

 

For a more descriptive but lengthy thing about these factions, go here: https://docs.google....UIQmCGLqmM/edit

 

Mangai

The Mangai Faction is a Faction that believes in peace, honor, etc. It is divided into two parts: the mare warlike part is the Aki, and the wiser part is the Rua. They currently live on Nokama Magna. This faction is playable, but you must choose Aki or Rua, because they are kind of like two factions in one, and therefore cannot have any neutral members.

 

Avsa

The Avsa Faction, once a close ally of the Mangai Faction, inexplicably became cannibalistic and evil, getting energy from their victims. This was first discovered in what is now called The Avsa Incident, and were exiled into space never to be seen again. They still are alive though, and seem to have found a way to harvest living beings from planets or ships without being near there, or at least detected. This has caused many sightings of ghost ships, ships that suddenly lose contact without warning and are found completely abandoned. This faction is not playable.

 

Purebreds

The Purebreds live on Tuma Magna, and are defending Matoro Magna from the Hordika Faction. They believe that there should be no crossbreeds (or “Mutts” as they call them), and that purebreds are superior to crossbreeds both socially and biologically. They have been known to keep crossbreeds as slaves. Not all purebreds are in the Purebred Faction, and do not all think they are superior etc. This faction is playable, but you must be a purebred for obvious reasons.

 

Hordika

The Hordika Faction derived from a massive group of ten thousand crossbreed slaves of the Purebreds that rebelled and took over Iruini Magna. They are the mortal enemies of the Purebreds, but are respected greatly by the rest of the Factions. They have strong morals and sense of honor and are fighting for Matoro Magna. This Faction is playable, but as they have not yet accepted recruits, your player must be a crossbreed.

 

Cordak

The Cordak Faction is a destructive and powerful weapon-producing Faction that has never before lost a war. They own Tahu Magna, and are the main military force in the Faction Wars. This Faction is playable.

 

 

 

RULES

 

1) Follow the basic BZPower and RPG forum rules (duh).

 

2) Do not God-moderator (meta-gaming, auto-hitting, etc.), get objects out of nowhere, or ant of that other stuff nobody likes.

 

3) Do not break the rules (somebody’s gotta write that…).

 

4) Use the basic OOC: and IC: thing in the BZPRPG. However, if you end up doing a game changer (see below in various places) THAT HAS BEEN APPROVED, write it after GC: (game changer).

 

5) If you are unsure about a rule, PM me.

 

6) Do not make a post entirely OOC:. Also, no double posting unless it’s really quiet and nobody’s posted for at least twelve hours.

 

7) If you want to have something funny happen, don’t go out of your way to do it, and don’t let it make things weird.

 

8) Do not bring a character back to life or make another closely resembling him/her. If you’re dead, you’re dead.

 

9) You can add things like romances, grudges, etc. but be realistic, and don’t mess up somebody else’s character by saying that you hold a grudge with them and the guy doesn’t even know that his character does.

 

10) Take time to travel, and don’t just go teleporting around.

 

11) Be informative and writer-ey in your posts. Nobody wants to hear, “My guy walks over to your guy and punches him and stuff. The end,” Wow, I was utterly captivated by the suspense.

 

12) Warning system:

 

            First warning: you are warned in a PM.

 

            Second warning: A certain amount of your characters are suspended from the RPG. Length of suspension and amount of characters depends on severity of action. Their suspension will be worked into the story, like maybe they were captured.

 

            Third warning: I will kill off a set amount of your characters. Once again, their deaths will be worked into the story.

 

            Fourth warning: Suspension for varying amount of time, once again being worked into the story.

 

            Fifth warning: You’re outta here for the rest of the period and in half of the next period if this wins again.

 

13) If you think something you do will start a major “game-changing” event, PM me first.

 

 

 

CHARACTER CREATION

 

Name: Make sure it is Bionicle-like and not already taken.

Faction: It is okay to be neutral or factionless, but if you later want to join a Faction make it one you think would except you. If you plan on being in a Faction, you may want to join now.

Gender:

Description: Be vivid. You can post a picture in addition to or instead of.

Elemental Influence: This occurs in everything, even Vortixx, but in some species (like Vortixx) only manifests itself in color and MAYBE personality. If you are a crossbreed with mixed elements, choose one to be dominant for your powers if applicable. You can mix them for your personality and appearance, however.

Species: If you are a crossbreed PM me first for approval. Also, if you want to be a machine or something, PM me for that too.

Kanohi: Anybody can have Kanohi now, as Kanohi for other species were invented before the Faction Wars even started.

Weapon(s): Be reasonable.

Other Equipment: Optional, and be reasonable with this, too.

Vision Power: Only for Skakdi or characters with Skakdi DNA.

Age: This is optional. Granted, Bionicles live a very long time, so just say how old they would be in human years. It is okay to just say “old” or “a child” or whatever.

Weakness: Your character cannot be invincible!

Biography: Your character’s history. Be relatively thorough and make sure it corresponds with your storyline.

Any additional info you deem important.

 

Here are the Kanohi you can use:

 

NOTE ON KANOHI: Make sure you take into account what masks Toa consider “immoral”. This does not mean that immoral Kanohi are prohibited, but if you are a Toa or part Toa and have this mask, please provide an explanation as to why you have this mask if one is applicable.

 

Kanohi Hau The Mask of Shielding

Kanohi Pakari The Mask of Strength

Kanohi Miru The Mask of Levitation

Kanohi Kakama The Mask of Speed

Kanohi Akaku The Mask of Vision

Kanohi Kaukau The Mask of Water Breathing

Kanohi Huna The Mask of Concealment

Kanohi Ruru The Mask of Night Vision

Kanohi Mahiki The Mask of Illusion

Kanohi Matatu The Mask of Telekinesis

Kanohi Rau The Mask of Translation

Kanohi Pehkui The Mask of Diminishment

Kanohi Kualsi The Mask of Quick Travel

Kanohi Calix The Mask of Fate

Kanohi Kadin The Mask of Flight

Kanohi Sanok The Mask of Accuracy

Kanohi Iden The Mask of Spirit

Kanohi Zatth The Mask of Summoning

Kanohi Tryna The Mask of Reanimation (immoral)

Kanohi Arthron The Mask of Sonar

Kanohi Faxon The Mask of Kindred

Kanohi Volitak The Mask of Stealth

Kanohi Garai The Mask of Gravity

The Mask of Biomechanics

The Mask of Growth

The Mask of Healing

The Mask of Psychometry

The Mask of Rebounding

The Mask of Sensory Aptitude

The Mask of Scavenging (immoral)

Kanohi Crast The Mask of Repulsion (immoral)

Kanohi Avsa The Mask of Hunger (immoral)

Kanohi Shelek The Mask of Silence (immoral)

Kanohi Jutlin The Mask of Corruption (immoral)

Kanohi Felnas The Mask of Disruption (immoral)

 

Here are the Elements:

Fire

Ice

Water

Stone

Earth

Air

Jungle

Lightning

Iron

Magnetism

Plasma

Sonics

Gravity

Psionics

 

Here are the Vision Powers:

Heat Vision

X-Ray Vision

Telescopic Vision

Laser Vision

Impact Vision

Infrared Vision

Thermal Imaging

 

 

 

GOAL

 

In this game you basically want to live your life while fighting for your faction. This does not mean you should kill somebody of another faction without provocation (unless your character is like that), but definitely fight the enemy. For example, my super awesome hypothetical Mangai Faction dude wouldn’t walk into a tavern and slice some random Purebred Faction guy’s head off because he wasn’t in my faction (unless I was in the Hordika Faction, then I might do that), but I might go to The Dead World and attack a group of enemies. (This is mostly okay because The Dead World is basically a giant free-for-all battlefield.) Otherwise, have fun! Go on an adventure with somebody, do something amazing, get into a space battle. It doesn't matter. It's all about how much you enjoy playing.

 

 

 

“GAME-CHANGERS”

 

A game changer is an action that will or could lead to and event that will change the RPG radically. For example, flying a ship into an enemy city and destroying everything. YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST PM ME BEFORE ENGAGING IN WHAT COULD BE A GAME CHANGER!!!

 

 

 

WHERE THIS SHOULD GO

 

For truth, let it go where it goes. This game has barely a future or past written in stone. The survivors’ descendants know nothing but a few legends and scraps of history and what they themselves have done. They are just now fighting on The Dead World, a place avoided for centuries.  It’s a new time. Whether it is a time for fear or a time for hope is your decision.

 

 

 

WHERE TO START

 

Start wherever you want. You can see the link to the locations stuff in LOCATIONS. A good way to start is to pounce on somebody and attack them, of course you either win epically or die humiliatingly, so this approach is best avoided by anybody less than super-confident with themselves.


Edited by ToaOfAwesome, Mar 06 2013 - 05:00 PM.

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#659 Offline Zakaro

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Posted Mar 06 2013 - 05:00 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]@ToaOfAwesome: All seems quite well with it after the quick run-though I gave it, but one or two things stood out to me.[/font][/font][/font] [font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]First of all, and this is just IMO, but it seems like almost a too large world to truly play in. 6 factions, multiple moons and the Dead Planet itself: already I feel like I'm gonna see half, maybe more of these places actually get used for more than just a place to visit/meet up.[/font][/font][/font][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]Second, that's one huge Profile. I'd condense it somewhat, combine things like Weapons and Other Equipment, Elemental Influence and Vision Powers. [/font][/font][/font] [font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]In other news, I've got a RPG of my own for you peeps to go over for a few days until I take it to the Submissions Topic.  [/font][/font][/font][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"] [/font][/font][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"] [/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"] [/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"] [/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"] [/font][/font][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Reborn in Red[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Note: If you do not know the full extent of the Red Star’s purpose, go here then come back, so I don’t get a ton of people asking about this. Thanks![/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Hurry! He needs a mask, quickly!”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“All we’ve got for Noble Masks is a Miru!”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Just give it to him, he can change it later if he wishes.”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Turaga Lhikan, who thought he had sacrificed himself for Toa Vakama, opened his eyes. An action that he really shouldn’t be able to do if he was dead. There was a Ga-Matoran and Ga-Turaga standing to the side, looking down on him with concern.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Where am I? Is this some sort of afterlife?”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The other Turaga sighed, eyes lowering as she spoke.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“No, sir. This is the Red Star.”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Wha-what?! Where is that?!?”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“We’re not truly sure, sir. All we know is that we died, but somehow were revived by this huge machine. Maps and schematics that we’ve found have told us the name of this place, and ‘talks’ with the beings who keep this working-and want us gone-have shown that it was supposed to send us back to our Universe. The problem is, it doesn’t. And so, we’re stuck here.”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Lhikan sat in silence for awhile, absorbing the information. Finally, he spoke once more.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Are there any limits on who is revived, that you know of?”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Yes. We’ve come to the conclusion that the Red Star needs a body to work with. Beheaded beings can be revived, disintegrated, absorbed, and burned to ashes cannot.”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Something flared within Lhikan then, thoughts of meeting those he thought was gone.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Then, have you seen any of the Toa Mangai?”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The other Turaga turns sharply, gazing at him with an intensity that he hasn’t seen from her before… or has he…[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Where did you hear of them?”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Lhikan met her gaze entirely, not shrinking back or glancing away.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Where did I hear of them? Oh, I’m not sure… perhaps from my own mouth, when I proclaimed the name?”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]She gasped, eyes widening.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“L-Lhikan?!?”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]He grinned slyly.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Yes. I presume you didn’t recognize me, Naho?”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“N-no. This-this changes everything about where you’re needed.”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Ga-Turaga made her way to the door before turning to address Lhikan again.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Come, old friend. It’s time you met all the rest, and the Makuta too.”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]He frowned.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Makuta? Why would I want to talk to that Karzahni-spawn?”[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“This isn’t the Makuta you’re thinking of. Come, brother. It’s time you met your home for the next forever and a day.”[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Overview[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]So, you just died. Great job. Luckily for you, the MU has a nice little back-up system called the Red Star for when that stuff happens.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Unluckily for you, this Red Star is also broken in the fact that it’s a one-way trip up.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]You’re stuck. Once again, luckily for you there’s friendly people here that are already living within this Red Star.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]And there’s also these Kestora people that are constantly attempting to wipe you all out, destroy the teleporter/reviver things that brought you here, and make slaves out of the ones the come out of the teleporter/reviver things they own.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Have fun trying to get home.[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Locations[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Well, there’s the Red Star.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]And then there’s Spherus Magna.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Guess which you’re in.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-->Red Star (Map is here)(Kestora-Controlled is Purple, Revived Controlled is Green, Red indicates importance.)[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]            Ding ding! Anyway, this behemoth of a construction is large enough to have separate zones in it. What fun! As a note, the Red Star is built somewhat like an onion, with curved hallways and rooms spreading outwards from Karda. The zones you inhabit are somewhat like a disk, with much more outwards expansion than upwards.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]            Zones include:[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]            -Karda: Quite literally ‘The Core,’ this is a small room in the center of the Red Star that probably controls most of the strange occurrences that happen within these halls. It’s in the middle of the Star, and really the only reason why people know it exists is from maps left in certain rooms. Neutral Zone, as no-one has found it or been able to claim it.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]            -Hui-Wahi: More commonly called ‘the Maze’, its true name is ‘Region of Confusion.’ Aptly named and nicknamed, it’s an absolute terror to try to go through, traps at every turn and Kestora around about half, and it rearranges itself constantly. (Actually, most of the traps are in the middle of hallways, not corners, but whateves) Karda sits at the middle of Hui-Wahi, which is why no-one has gotten there yet. Strangely, though, most adventurers are just sent out of the maze if they fall into a trap, perhaps paralyzed if they went just a bit too deep. Neutral Zone, because it can’t be used for anything but reaching Karda.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]            -Kestora-Metru: Where the Kestora live, eat, and all that good stuff. There’s only 3-4 routes into the city, all constantly guarded. This is where the Kestora have all their science stuffs that they’ll use to dissect/brainwash/mutate you, so entering isn’t advised. Besides, the only reason one could ever have for going in there would be to save some sort of cool dude that got themselves captured, but somehow not killed. Important locations are the Labs, placed in the middle for protection. Kestora-Controlled, which should be obvious.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]            -Revived-Metru: Once a large storage hanger and then a mass jail for the stranded MU inhabitants, it’s now been transformed into an active city of all species and ages, the few common things between them being death-experiences and Kestora hatred. This is the seat of power for the Revived Council, is the place to go to buy nearly anything, where a spare room is never more than a door away, and is the safest place in the Red Star for MU beings. Most of the buildings are either ramshackle or formed from elemental abilities, and aren’t just rooms in the Star, so strange happenings occur less. Important location is the Council building, near the middle of the city. Revived-Controlled.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]            -Wahi of Reviving: Ah, yes. This is where it all happens, where MU inhabitants are recreated from death into new life so that they could be returned to the Universe, and continue upholding the balance! Key word being ‘could’. This is one of the major battle zones, both sides wanting to have control over more of the Reviving Pods, which actually produce the revived beings. 9 in total, 3 Kestora-Controlled, 3 Revived-Controlled, and 3 are constantly contested. Half controlled by both sides, actual border wavers.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]            -Storage A & B: These are two large storage rooms, filled with random objects, tanks of Protodermis, silos of organic material: a scavenger’s paradise. What was once C is now Revived-Metru, but that doesn’t really matter. Both have a gigantic crane near the middle, which could be useful fro those who need something heavy moved a long distance. The Kestora control most of A, while the Revived control most of B. The border between the two wavers back and forth, but not as much as in the Wahi of Reviving.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]            -Bo-Wahi: The Region of Plants, named for the fact that it’s a giant greenhouse, artificially lit, that provides food for both sides. There’s 3 Reviving Pods here, but they only remake Rahi that now inhabit the jungle this has come to be. It’s the largest zone by far, extending higher, lower, and farther than any other. Mainly Kestora-Controlled, but the Revived have about 1/4 of it, and no-one really patrols it due to the amount of dangerous Rahi. But, there are rumors of knowledge to be found here, if one dares to enter...[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]            -The Workings: The name given to the zone outside the inhabitable disk everything resides, this is where the Star makes its light, has the propulsion systems for lift off help, large computers to set an orbit, and more. It’s just a wall of wire, metal, gears and tubes. One would have to destroy their way through it, bushwhacking to the extreme, especially due to the fact that it’s all made of Protosteel. Hard to get to, you’d have to blow a hole through the outermost passages to get there. Neutral zone, as it’s uninhabitable.[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Factions[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Kestora: Small, Turaga sized beings with red, black, and purple armor. While they haven’t shown any sort of elemental abilities, their weaponry is much more advanced than what MU inhabitants have, including elemental-dampeners, laser blasters, paralyzing beams, form-fitting exo-suits, and more. They’ve kept these weapons from MU beings by blowing up any weapons not in the possession of a living Kestora after a battle. Led by a Dikatior, their society is akin to a ‘True Communist’ one, where all are equal and get the same amount of everything. They move with such coordinated moves one would think that they have some sort of hive mind.[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Revived: Former inhabitants of the MU that died and were revived here in the Red Star. Made up of most species from the Universe, they have a varied and versatile workforce. Technology is as a whole much less developed than what the Kestora have, but is sufficient for their needs. Toa, Skakdi, Vortixx: all are given a chance. But be warned: those who break the peace will not be allowed back. Led by the Revived Council, which has a number of important beings from all ages working together to keep the Revived alive. Makuta Jeluk, Turaga Lhikan, Kodan, Sidorak: all on the Council, all had died, and all wish to bring their people back to a land where they can be safe.[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Renegades: Beings that have committed crimes, simply wanted to leave, or were exiled, this is the name for those who don’t align themselves with either the Kestora or the Revived. No true leader, they’re not really a faction at all.[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]What’s going on[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Well, a quick summery of what’s just happened in this here Red Star leading up to where you come in would be something like this;[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Teleportation back to MU breaks[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Makuta Jeluk breaks free from holding cells the Kestora used to keep MU inhabitants under control, mass breakout and transformation of Jail into Revived-Metru[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-The Revived find Storage Room B, production goes up dramatically[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Revived make a huge offensive attack, push borders to where they are today[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Lhikan arrives, government solidified from loose war alliances into a true faction[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Explorers find maps of Red Star in Hui-Wahi and Bo-Wahi, pieced back together to get a full notion of the Star’s layout[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Toa Nuva Kopaka and Pohatu are transported into part of Hui-Wahi, are brought to Revived-Metru by Mavrah[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Events in the RPG begin[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Other[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]There’s a few more things I’d like to go over before we get to the rules & profiles, k?[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]First of all, this will likely be made AU if the story serials are ever continued. Still, this is tied to the current chapter of the serials and the function of the Red Star in general.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Second, while it may not seem like it, there are many little story ‘leads’ that you can follow if you want to get into a storyline. I’ll point out a big one, trying to find a way into Karda to find out what’s in there, but the rest you can find for yourself.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Third, only join this RPG if you’re going to stick with it. I may sound harsh, but look at it this way: in the last 2-3 contests, at least 1, if not 2 or all 3, RPGs fizzled out due to lack of players. I’ll do my best to keep this up and running, but it’s up to you, the players, to make this be a grand adventure.[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Rules[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-All BZP rules, in general and pertaining just to this forum, apply.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Respect people.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-IC and OOC are beautiful things. Announcing who and where a post takes is even moreso.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Posts=Readable. Better the spelling and grammar, happier everyone else is.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Humor should stay low, romance even more.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Your character is just as good as all the others, and don’t be other people. Be yourself.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Profiles-->Discussion Topic-->Approval-->Profiles Topic.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Have some PHUN! :)[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Consequences will be decided if and when a rule is broken.[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Profiles [/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Take form. Fill out form. Post in Discussion Topic. Get Approval, put in Profiles Topic. Play game.[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Name: (Bionicle-y. Need I say more?)[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Gender, Species, Faction: (Yes, it’s combined.)[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Equipment: (All that good stuff that your character carries around on a daily basis.)[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Powers: (All the abilities that your character can use. Mask powers are included here.)[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Appearance: (Picture is best, but 25 words works too.)[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Personality: (25+ words. It’s not hard, peeps.)[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Biography: (75+ words. Look, it’s this simple: 25 for life in MU, 25 describing death, 25 on Red Star life. I may be a bit more forgiving for Kestora, however.)[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Blank copy:[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Name: [/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Gender, Species, Faction: [/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Equipment:[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Powers:[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Appearance:[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Personality:[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Biography:[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Important Characters:[/font][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-GMCharacter-[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Name: Makuta Jeluk[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Gender, Species, Faction: Male Makuta, Revived[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Equipment: The Makuta of the Red Star, as he’s been christened by the populace, carries a large broadsword too heavy for most to carry without a Pakari. He wears a Mask of Emulation.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Powers: All 42 powers of a Makuta, along with being able to analyze and copy other’s powers with the Mask of Emulation.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Appearance: Large, tall, and imposing, Jeluk towers over all but the Vortixx, standing at 1.5 times the size of a Toa. His armor is Metru Red and black, with the black going over the red in most cases. Hanging off his back are two cloth-like strips, making the illusion of a tailed jacket. His sword is sheathed on his left hip.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Personality: Jeluk is grim, stern, and cold. He doesn’t show his emotions all that much, but it’s known he has a heart for all of the people living in Revived-Metru. He’s often the one to give an unbiased view, point out holes in tactics, is often known as the Judge in comparison to Sidorak, who has no regard for the well-being of troops and Lhikan, who sometimes has too much.[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Biography: Jeluk was one of the few Makuta that didn’t become jealous of Mata-Nui, and stood with Miserix when Teridax challenged him for leader. He was killed in the battle, having been stabbed through the throat by Icarax, and was revived in the Red Star, still having a body to be revived with. He was kept in a cell for quite sometime, until he evolved with the rest of his species into pure Antidermis. With his new gaseous form, he was able to escape his cell, free a Toa of Iron, free his armor and have the Toa fix it to fit with his new form, and then stage a prison break and release all that were captured. He was on the front lines of the war until Revived-Metru was completely liberated, and then took a position of helping fortify and set up the city. To this day he resides there, keeping everyday tasks working smoothly as the rest of the Council works on gaining more territory.[/font][/font]

 

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Regards,[/font][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(128,0,128);]Zakaro[/color][/font][/font]


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-Lego RPG Forum-

Just call me Zakaro, no matter what's up there.

 

 


#660 Offline ToaOfAwesome

ToaOfAwesome
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Posted Mar 06 2013 - 05:07 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]@ToaOfAwesome: All seems quite well with it after the quick run-though I gave it, but one or two things stood out to me.[/font][/font][/font] [font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]First of all, and this is just IMO, but it seems like almost a too large world to truly play in. 6 factions, multiple moons and the Dead Planet itself: already I feel like I'm gonna see half, maybe more of these places actually get used for more than just a place to visit/meet up.[/font][/font][/font][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]Second, that's one huge Profile. I'd condense it somewhat, combine things like Weapons and Other Equipment, Elemental Influence and Vision Powers. [/font][/font][/font] 

 

Okay, I'll edit that, thanks. Also, about the amount of worlds, I noticed that many may not be used, but that's okay, really, I'm just putting in more than enough so nobody's all crowded.


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Read my epic, The Chronicles of Masuko!

Or my comic, Mackron: The Vulture Warrior!


#661 Offline Last Son Amakusa

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Posted Mar 06 2013 - 05:11 PM

Crowdedness isn't that bad. It'd help nurture interaction. The last thing you want is for your character to be trapped in an interactionless area wtih no feasible way of getting to another zone.
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#662 Offline Onarax

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Posted Mar 06 2013 - 07:37 PM

Too many locations, and everyone will be scattered everywhere.

 

Nothing will happen at all.


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gallery_107889_133_3220.jpg


#663 Offline Silvan Haven

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Posted Mar 06 2013 - 08:39 PM

Dead World looks the like the most interesting out of those posted so far. My only problem is , as everybody else has said, it is too big. This feels like you were writing up an idea for an MMO.

 

While I would love see it get through, It feels like you would need at least two seasons to pull out something close to this things true potential.


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"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."


#664 Offline ninjamonkey3000

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Posted Mar 06 2013 - 08:51 PM

@Zakaro:

 

I really like this idea!  The idea of a war within the Red Star is interesting, and the basic concepts are unique enough to nurture interactions and interesting stories.  The only thing I'd change is one name- Revived-Metru doesn't roll off the tongue well.  Perhaps Revi-Metru?


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#665 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Mar 06 2013 - 08:51 PM

Okay, three things.

  • What happens when you die in the Star?
  • Are the red dots on the map Reviving Pods?
  • Why do the Kestora want Reviving Pods?

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I used to have a banner here.

 

But that RPG is dead.

 

What now?


#666 Offline Kilgore Trout

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Posted Mar 07 2013 - 03:38 PM

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]For your critiquing enjoyment, I give you an updated Dystopian, now with Metru images.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]-Dystopian-[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Posted Image[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“They’ve done rather well this year, haven’t they?” The speaker was haggard, his hands shaking slightly as he wrung them together. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Who?” The source of the response looked equally fatigued, but in a different fashion, his frame gaunt and the bone structure of his skull visibly imprinted into his unhealthy face. His eyes, a shade of yellow that reflected his generally anemic appearance, were not nervous, but impassive, careful maintained so that not a single emotion would escape. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“The Bureau of Giving. Metal production up by 20%! We’re closer to winning this war than ever.” As the Matoran spoke, his hands began to shake worst than ever, the skeletal digits and distinct joints quaking with an unseen terror. However, his eyes, just like those of his companion, were carefully guarded. The green orbs, sunken into his sickly head, looking like those of the dead, both at peace and utterly tormented, a façade of happiness and contentment.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Oh, of course. Those Zakaz swine will be ground into the dust soon enough.” The other Matoran, his yellow eyes as unflustered as ever, looked downward to the newspaper lying on the table between, staring at it blankly as he read, never lifting it from it‘s limp position on the table.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The obnoxious screeching of an alarm filled the room, and the Matoran, with machine-like movements, stood up, carefully placed their chairs back underneath the table, and exited the room with dozens of other Matoran, all of them looking utterly brain dead, as if someone had removed their biomechanical cerebrum and replaced it with a propaganda pamphlet.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]* * *[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]They next day, the yellow-eyed Matoran was back, sitting at the group of tables designated to citizens of his area in the district of Ta-Metru.  [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]There was a general air of anxiety and nervousness in the air as everyone politely spoke to each other, their mannerisms contrasting with their soulless eyes, and almost pre-programmed sounding voices. “Did you hear?” “Of course I heard. It is such a shame, our own citizens betraying us.” “I certainly hope that none of those terrible, hideous monsters try to get me to commit such a crime!” “We have to kill these swine quickly, they’re infecting our precious Empire!” “Don’t doubt in our Emperor, he will fix this. I’m sure he has it all planned, you’ll see.” “Well, most certainly he does. I’m just worried that more lies will spread to our district.” “Oh, you’re scaring me now. Sub-district 34 isn’t awfully far away from ours.” “Oh, I’m sure the Enforcers will be visiting the residences there.” “I think it’s better that way! More hangings, more morale boosting, that’s what I say.” [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The yellowed-eyed Matoran stared at one of the Sub-District 36 tables several feet away, their loud voices carrying the topics of discussion across the room. There were few people sitting in his area, and all of them quiet, so there was no chance of a respite from the constant talking of the Sub-District 36 citizens. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Holding his head in his hands, the yellow-eyed Matoran began to sob, staring at the Sub-District 34 logo imprinted on the table, his hands shaking as they filled with his tears. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Story:  [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Welcome to The Great Empire of Metru-Nui. We observe you for your own good, so that if an accident occurs, we can send someone to help you in a very small amount of time. Coincidentally, if you choose to be disruptive, we can remove you from public, until you learn to behave yourself. Surveillance is constant, screens and security cameras watch you from every angle, not a single inch on the entire industrialized island of Metru-Nui is free of observation, for your own good, of course. You, beloved worker, can seek “freedom”, and live a life of hardship and fear, or you can worship The Empire, your benevolent benefactor, and live a comfortable life. I think the correct choice is clear.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Empire is ready to support you and love you, but you must love it in return. Love nothing else, for nothing else is worthy of your love. If you are found wasting your love on another, we shall have to re-educate you, so be wise and adore us over any other. The Empire gives you everything, your residence, your food, and all we ask for in return is your absolute loyalty. Worship us as we deserve to be worshiped, with every atom of your bond and soul, and you will never want. Do not love us as we deserve, and there will be repercussions. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Great Empire is ruled by the wise and benevolent Emperor, once called Dume, and he is the one who shall protect you from the terrible, blood-curdling horrors of Zakaz, and the trail of death it leaves in its wake. Below him, to share his wisdom and rouse you into working harder and faster, are The Six Elders, once known as Turaga, each one representing one of the six basic elements. Their names are Vakama, Nokama, Matau, Onewa, Whenua, and Nuju, and they are to be respected and honored, for each of them has control over an entire Metru.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]We have the highest hopes for you, worker, but if you fail to meet our expectations, we would be forced to remove you, so that you do not taint your fellow labor force. We’re sure you understand the reasons for this, and we’re also sure you’ll try your very best to remain useful, but if you don’t, perhaps the Enforcers will have to pay you a visit. What are Enforcers? The are exactly what their name implies, a finished version of the “Vahki” prototype, the ultimate in protecting your peace and wellbeing, as well as the ultimate in capturing and terminating those who wish to be difficult.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Our soliders, brave, courageous souls, will rarely, if ever, seen by you. They travel rarely, and only in secure Chutes, and play no part in your work, so you have no reason to possess knowledge of them. There have been citizens too curious on the topic of our military than is healthy. If you show signs that you are beginning to join this crowd, a cell in a Re-Education center shall be prepared for your arrival, dear citizen.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]One last thing on the topic of The Empire‘s Citizens; The Masses. You will meet them on the street, within the factory or bureau, and they are not to be feared. They might be taller, stronger, and faster than you, but they are not better than you. You are elite. They are to be ignored, and to be reported if they pause working. The Enforcers are more than capable of dealing with them, no matter the number of them, so do not hesitate to report them. Other members of The Masses may resent you for doing so, but what do they matter? They are mere proletariats, you are the middle, the comfortable height above grueling work and below the difficulties of ruling, they are the depths, the pits of existence. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]We are at war with the demonic, vindictive barbarians of Zakaz. There is another island, Xia, but they have never acted against us, and they have never acted for the interest of Zakaz. We at war with the spiteful Zakaz savages, and no one else. It is wise to remember this, citizen, if someone tries to convince you otherwise. Remain faithful, and report him to the nearest Enforcer. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]All we ask of you, worker and citizen, is trust, obedience, and a good work ethic. These are all easy enough in theory, but some seem to find problems with them, and those who do so always end up trying to convince others that we ask for more, that we are not kind. Please, for your own good, do not listen to them. We love you, and all we ask for in return is your love and loyalty. If you do not agree with this proposal, there is a lovely Enforcer outside, and I’m sure he can take you somewhere to clear your mind.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Locations: [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Ta-Metru: [/font]
 
Posted Image
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“A busy Matoran is a happy Matoran, for quick work is rewarding work.” [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Metru of Productions, Ta-Metru is composed gigantic factories, with living quarters and mess halls scattered throughout the Metru, split up by Sub-Districts (Where citizens and The Masses take residence), numbered from 1 to 60, the lowest numbers being the darkest, dirtiest rat holes of The Masses, the largest being the most prestigious residences of the most efficient workers. The skyline of Ta-Koro is that of smokestacks and plumes of smog, with fire belching from the widest, most active of the industrial, utilitarian factories of gunmetal steel. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Ga-Metru: [/font]
 
Posted Image
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Trust in the Emperor, pride in the Elite.”[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Metru of Re-Education, and the location of the Empire’s Navy, Ga-Metru is easily recognizable for its appearance, dozens of islands, sprawling with concrete builds, windowless and surrounded with several fences of barbed wire, as well as mine fields, if the structure is particularly important. There are few living quarters in Ga-Metru, all for Re-Educators, those who administrate the prisons and Re-Education centers, and those who keep them in working order. There are 36 Sub-Districts, no longer numbered for living condition, only for what island they are located on. In the Metru of Re-Education and the Metru of the Empire‘s Armada, there is an emphasis of belief in the Emperor for those being Re-Educated, and an emphasis for striving to be the strongest, most vicious being possibly in the Empire‘s Armada. The slogan of Ga-Metru reflects this well. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Le-Metru:[/font]
 
Posted Image
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“For Peace and the Law.”[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Metru of Law Enforcement, and the Metru of The Great Empire’s Military, Le-Metru is a massive military base, dotted with Enforcer hives, with everything connected by Chutes and surrounded by Airship ports. The Chute system of Le-Metru is put to maximum use, with Enforcers being transported across Metru-Nui constantly, and the Military able to reach wherever the need to be in mere minutes, either to fend off an attack, or to ready themselves for deportation. The Chute system has been modified slightly, requiring a pass, implanted in one’s organics, possessed only by the most influential citizens and the Military, to be used. As well as this, the Chute’s speed of travel has been increased, so that Enforcers can arrive even sooner, to quell any disturbance that arises.  There are only 12 Sub-Districts in Le-Metru, for the only citizens allowed to take residence there, either temporary or permanent, are mechanics and Airship pilots. Four of these Districts are located directly next to Enforcer Hives, and these are, obviously, where mechanics live. The other eight are located on military bases, and serve as temporary residence for the Airship pilots who arrive with their cargo, and wish to rest for a few days.  The Le-Metru slogan is simple and to the point, reflecting those who occupy the Metru of Violence, as some take to calling it. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Po-Metru: [/font]
 
Posted Image
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Might Makes Right.”[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Metru of Chaos is what most call Po-Metru, the City of Stone. There is no true purpose for the establishments there, only randomly scattered businesses, surrounded by thousands of residence buildings, all of them ramshackle and in a state of serious disrepair. Where there were once deserts there are streets,  monoliths and statues are now the cornerstones of the larger buildings, all signs of a previous setting has been assimilated into the current look of the Metru, creating a revolting mix of past beauty and modern hideousness. The dignified civilization of before is hidden behind the bestial violence of today in the streets of current Po-Metru, called by some The Metru of Brutes and The Metru of the Mad. Many of The Masses make their homes here, and thus it is not uncommon to be greeted with horrendous sights of violence when one awakes in the morning, roused by the sound of The Masses competing for the right to travel to the other Metru, on rickety Airships, no longer suitable for military use, and condemned to a life of carrying half-mad beings, having just survived the often fatal gauntlet of the street, to their places of work, brutal factories that, to them, are havens of cleanness. Every member of The Masses wants to reach these factories, and thus, the unofficial slogan of the Metru of Chaos, “Might Makes Right.”, describes their willingness to smash each other’s brains to bits in the name of a ride on the Airships rather well.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Onu-Metru:[/font]
 
Posted Image
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Thoughts can be dangerous, for the Emperor sees all.”[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Metru of Research, or The Metru of Information, or the Metru of Knowledge, Onu-Metru goes by several names, but all of them have one thing in common; Details. Onu-Metru keeps track of every word spoken, every movement made, every piece of media released, and it is more than ready to edit all of this information when ever correction is needed. All of this manages occurs in The Archives, a system of tunnels spanning the length and width of the entire island, and now, thanks to advancements in recent years, delving deeper than sane man would imagine going. The Archives hold more information than a mind could imagine, and all of it is easily available to the citizens who reside there. The residents of Onu-Metru rarely see the sun, and the are, shall we say, distorted. Their eyes are, at least three times larger than any other being found in The Empire, their bodies are shriveled and almost devoid of muscle, and their fingers have turned into long, bony claws, used both for digging and for typing on the tiny keys of the dozens of typewriter-esque information-translating instruments of their “inputs”, bizarre machines on which the “Unders” (The common name of the residents of Onu-Metru) write/re-write dozens of documents at once. The “inputs” span entire rooms, and connect to the Archives, which now resemble, in many ways, modern digital libraries and encyclopedias. There are only six Sub-Districts in Onu-Metru, each one representing a section of The Archives under other Metru, with otherwise literally no difference between the six. Onu-Metru, on the map, appears to be a dome of protosteel, a single dot of color on a landscape of post-apocalyptic, desolate black. The reason for the emptiness? As well as managing the details of a citizen’s life, Onu-Metru manages the details and the information of The Empire’s military forces, both land, air, and sea. Part of this military information is the effectiveness of weapons, from mundane pistols to explosive missiles of devastating power. The slogan of Onu-Metru “Thoughts can be dangerous, for The Emperor sees all.”, reflects the paranoia of the Matoran (and the mind-games that the local Enforcers enjoy playing) rather well.  [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Ko-Metru:[/font]
 
Posted Image
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Obedience is Happiness.” [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Metru of Entertainment and Diversions, Ko-Metru is the only Metru to have an official name with two components, and the only Metru to constantly cooperate with another, Onu-Metru. Ko-Metru resembles a bizarre mix of beautiful, translucent crystal palaces and cold, hard steel-gray skyscrapers, metallic framework connecting metal and glass additions to the gigantic Crystal Towers, and buildings, rivaling a Tower’s height, thin and stylized with square-shaped windows and absolutely nothing spherical, attach directly into the snowy, almost arctic terrain of the Metru. All of these structures have one thing in common: They are tipped with gigantic instruments reminiscent of antennas and radio dishes. Ko-Metru is the transmitter of entertainment and broadcasts for the entire island, sending news, and motivational speeches every where, leaving no space in The Empire without the latest news, the most recent military victory. Ko-Metru’s relation to Onu-Metru is simple: Onu-Metru receives the information first, corrects it and edits it for the citizens good, and then sends it to Ko-Metru, who sends it everywhere in its reach. The population of Ko-Metru is almost devoid of members of The Masses, instead almost entirely middle class citizens, all of them zealous for the message they are conveying. A message that could be identified by totalitarian by the youngest being, composed of little more than demonization of The Empire’s enemy and worship of The Emperor, yet accepted by thousands as truth, simply because after being told it so many times, they choose to accept it as truth, for doing otherwise, for even thinking of it otherwise, would result in their death. The slogan of this Metru is rather apt. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Throne:[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]A monolithic structure rising several hundred, perhaps even a thousand, feet into the air, The Throne is a massive triangle, on each side, the monstrous, spiked Crown of The Empire painted in crimson on white stone, visible from hundreds and hundreds of feet away. The Throne connects the six landmasses of the Metrus, and serves as the motivational, morale-boosting symbol of The Empire, more terrifying and psychological than any flag, imprinting any who see it with a sense of smallness, weakness, and helplessness, things that only The Emperor, who, along with the Six Elders, resides in The Throne, can cure you of, as he makes his glorious speeches in front of this intimidating, cyclopean monument.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Character Profiles & Character Creation Information: [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Name: (Please, keep it reasonably Bionicle-ish. I don’t want to see “Bobby” and “Johnny”, nor do I want to see “KillStealer169” or any other name with digits and a distinct 9-year old videogamer feel)[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Gender: (Should be simple to fill in)[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Social Class: (Explained below)[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Appearance: (At the very least, describe body coloring, basic appearance, and Kanohi design. I want at least four sentences.)[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Occupation: (What does your character do? Are they skilled at it? Do they hate it, or do they adore it?)[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Metru: (Sub-District as well, if applicable. You can describe whatever Sub-district you create, I‘ll confirm if it fits in with game world as I approve the profile.)[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Personality: (What does your character think about their current situation? Are they becoming insane? Are they cold and manipulative, compassionate and kind? Do they like betraying their co-workers, do they attempt to spread their rebellious thoughts and opinions?)[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Alignment: (Either Loyal (to The Empire), Neutral, or Rebellious)[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Blank Profile:[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Name:[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Gender:[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Social Class:[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Appearance:[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Occupation:[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Personality:[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Alignment:[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Social Class:[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The way you fill out social class, comparable to Species in most other RPGs, determines the type of life your character lives, as well as his species. There are two Social Class available for players to role-play, Workers, and The Masses[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Workers: Once known as Matoran, Workers are the highest-ranking factory personnel, the information modifiers, the message broadcasters, the re-educators, the airship pilots. Workers make up around 20% of the Empire’s population, vastly overshadowed by The Masses. While in possession of somewhat-better living conditions than The Masses, they are watched very closely by Enforcers, seeing as they are the ones modifying the information that everyone accepts as truth.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Masses: The Masses, on the other hand, are almost devoid of law enforcement, only bothered by the Enforcers when one of them shows hints of a rebellious nature. They are of Sidorak's species, possessing the height and physical prowess of an average Toa. The make up almost 80% percent of Empire, and are the hordes who work the factories, the mechanics and janitors keeping everything in working order, the residents of Po-Metru, the true workers of The Empire.      [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Alignment:[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]I know this is a pretty simple concept, but I wanted to remind players of something. While Rebellious sounds like the obvious and only choice to most players who are reading this, I wrote Loyal there for a reason. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]While it doesn’t sound very appealing, being a loyal, double-thinking citizen who loves nothing more than betraying their less “virtuous” companions definitely has its perks. For example, you might even gain access to greater power and influence if you are loyal enough. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Loyal alignment would most easily be compared to Evil in any other RPG, so, if you feel the need to create a villainous PC, this would be the most intelligent option.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Character Approval and Character Profiles:[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Instead of the usual posting in discussion topic and all that, this RPG’s characters will be approved by PM, so once you’ve written out the profile, PM it to one of the GMs, and then post it in the profiles topic. As normal, only one character profiles post per player. [/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Rules:[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]1: All BZP and RPG Forum rules apply.[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]2: Me, Gravity/Frost Dragon, and Thebeggerpie will be the Game masters (GM) for this RPG. If you have any questions, PM any of us.[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]3: You are not powerful. Remember this. You are a citizen in a totalitarian government, you can not punch an Enforcer, nor can you magically locate explosives to destroy The Throne with. You are not powerless, you still have your mind. RP intelligently, have your character start a quiet, yet effective rebellion (If you are rebelling, that is), and, above all, remember how carefully you are being watched, and reflect this in your posts.[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]4: Do not treat the Enforcers as your personal military force if your character is of the Loyal alignment. If you report something, and it turns out to be untrue in any fashion, your character will be punished by the Enforcers, in a rather painful and physically damaging way. [/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]5: Be considerate of other players. Below is a strike system, so you know how many tries you have before you are banned.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]1: Another player reports you/I read one of your posts and find you being unfair and rude, I give you a PM of warning.[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]2: You continue, and thus you are punished (The punishment will depend on the situation), and I, or a fellow GM, gives you a one-week ban from the RPG.[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]3: You are banned permanently from the RPG.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]6: If you and a fellow player have an argument, first take it to PMs, and then, if they refuse to cooperate and reach an agreement, PM me with the problem.[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]7: Please, try to keeping your spelling and grammatical errors to a minimum.[/font]
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]8: If you think there is a problem with the game, or the way the game is being run, please, send me a PM, and I will try to fix the problem.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Rewards:[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Yes, this RPG will have rewards. Do something I consider exceptionally intelligent or well-planned, and your character will get something to assist them. I won’t say exactly what the rewards will be, but I will say this much: If you’re planning to create a character that wants to earn a reputation, avoid the Enforcers, get promoted in The Empire, or harm/inhibit The Empire, you will want one of these.[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Ending Notes:[/font]
 
[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Lastly, I want to say I am looking forward to what rebellions, schemes, and other ingenious things players are going to come up with, and, as GM, I hope I can help keep this RPG enjoyable and interesting. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.[/font]
 

 


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#667 Offline Zakaro

Zakaro
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Posted Mar 07 2013 - 06:37 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]@ninja: I'll keep that in mind. It's true the name needs to change.[/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]@Canis: [/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]1. You're dead, for good. The GBs didn't account for the thought of death in the Red Star, they never could've guess that the returning teleporters would break.[/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]2. It depends. The ones in the Wahi of Reviving and Bo-Wahi are Reviving Pods, (Now that I think about it, Revival Pods sounds better) but the others are different. For example, in the Storage Rooms the dots are cranes, in Revived-Metru it's the Council Building, and is Kestora-Metru it's the Labs.[/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]3. Mainly so that they can enslave the revived beings to turn them against their brethren to kill them all. Then them Kestora will probs just destroy the Pods. [/font]

[color=rgb(128,0,128);][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]Zakaro[/color][/font]


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#668 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Mar 08 2013 - 12:36 PM

@Canis:

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]1. You're dead, for good. The GBs didn't account for the thought of death in the Red Star, they never could've guess that the returning teleporters would break.[/font]

 

Okay, what if my PCs body is carried to a reviving pod? He's put in it, and why wouldn't he come back?


Edited by Canis Lupus, Mar 08 2013 - 12:38 PM.

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#669 Offline Zakaro

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Posted Mar 08 2013 - 03:25 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]@Canis: Well, Revival Pods aren't just these things that revive you.They're specifically designed to recreate a body for the dead MU being. Look, direct quote from Bso1:[/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]"...Would be placed in a new body and sent back..."[/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]As I see it, the Red Star is constantly scanning the Matoran Universe for dead beings. When it finds one, it recovers the DNA, memories, and structure of the individual and recreates their body within a Revival Pod. It would then send them back, but that's the broken part of it.  [/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]So yeah, if there's no more questions/critque I'm taking Reborn in Red over to the Submissions Topic in about an hour and a half, so..[/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]:)[/font]

[color=rgb(128,0,128);][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]Zakaro[/color][/font]


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#670 Online The Lorax

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Posted Mar 10 2013 - 04:34 AM

Here are two games I've created, one old and one new. The first one isn't very polished yet - I only got the idea for it a week ago, and rushed to put it together.
I'll definitely be entering one of them in the contest. Which would you like to play more?
 

Secrets and Shadows

 
This RPG is set 78,100 years before the Great Cataclysm, a time early on in the Matoran Universe’s history. It was a very different place to the universe we knew at the time of the Toa Nuva, or even the Toa Metru. Many towns and cities had not yet been founded, while species rare in the present time lived openly in cities which are now only ruins, barely remembered.
 
It was a time of uncertainty, but also of new beginnings, when the universe was recovering from the conquest and subsequent fall of the Barraki, yet still suffering from the resulting unrest.
 
In this time, in Metru Nui, one of the most advanced cities known to Matoran-kind, a dispute began between the Matoran over trade boundaries, and eventually escalated into a civil war that lasted for 400 years. The effects of the war would be felt across the universe.
 
As the War continued on, growing larger all the while, the Great Spirit Mata Nui grew ill, as his subjects ceased their labours and turned to violence. It was a time later known as the Great Disruption. Bioquakes struck across the universe, shaking not only the ground but the skies as well, it seemed. These were particularly severe around the Southern Continent, the largest landmass in the Matoran Universe.
While Voya Nui was not torn free as it would be later in the time of the Great Cataclysm, the ceiling of its dome cracked, and water began to pour through those cracks from the oceans of the planet that the Great Spirit was resting on, mixed with pit mutagen. Also a product of the fractured sky, the suns have dimmed, covering the land in a perpetual darkness. At noon, the suns’ dim light is only what it would have been at twilight. Many stars have also faded or disappeared completely, but there are exceptions. A group of spirit stars burn bright above the continent, even during the dusky days. They are a sign of hope to those who see them – a team of toa is coming.
 
 
When the toa do arrive, however, they will find that the Southern Continent is a difficult and dangerous place, and that not all of its inhabitants will welcome them. Soon after the suns dimmed, stories began to spread among the people of a being calling himself Rukahu, or The Dark One. It was claimed that he had fought a battle with the Great Spirit himself and emerged victorious, and had now claimed the continent for his own. They said that he was the one who cast shadows over the suns and extinguished the stars. Very few beings have actually seen the mysterious figure, but he has gathered a large following nonetheless. Few of these are Matoran, as they continue to keep faith in Mata Nui, but large proportions of other species have joined The Dark One’s cause, either out of fear or for personal gain. There have been some clashes between them and the followers of Mata Nui as tensions rise between them. Every day, Rukahu expands his power on the land, but the spirit stars grow brighter in the sky above. When the toa finally do arrive, the whole continent might be ready to snap.
 
 
People
 
Species
 
The Southern Continent is populated by many diverse species. Most species live in villages of their own kin, but mixed villages are not uncommon. The population breakdown goes something like this:
 
Matoran (40%) The smallest of the races, but the most numerous, Matoran live mostly in small villages with others of their elemental affiliation. Most of these villages are governed by one or more Turaga, but a good number are governed by the Matoran themselves. A destined Matoran can become a toa and later a turaga, but there are currently no toa on the southern continent (or else why would a team have to come from outside to get the ignika?). On the whole, the Matoran have shunned Rukahu, preferring to hope in Mata Nui’s return, and the success of his heroes, the toa. The few that have turned to Rukahu have been shunned by their villages.
 
Kodura (15%) This is the species to which Trinuma belongs. They stand about nine feet tall and have horns on their heads. Members of this race will often carry special kinetic tools unique to their race. The making of these is a closely-guarded secret, but when used, they can emit and manipulate kinetic energy. This can be used to allow the users to fly, fire bursts of force or manipulate objects to some degree. They are able to use great kanohi. Most of the Kodura oppose Rukahu, though not as unanimously as the Matoran.
 
Atanako (20%) This is the species to which Shadow Stealer belongs. They are shorter than toa, standing about 5 ½ feet tall. They have strong, prehensile tails. They have the ability to absorb shadows to become physically stronger and to use shadows as doors to teleport through. They cannot use kanohi. Since the dome grew dark, this normally secretive and secluded group has risen to prominence, based partly on their shadow-based abilities but mostly because almost all of them have joined with Rukahu. They form the bulk of his followers, and the most important among them are from this race.
 
Tarore (15%) This is the species to which Hydraxon belongs. They are the tallest of the common species, standing nine feet or taller. They are also the strongest by quite some margin, with muscular physiques being the norm. They are renowned as skilled fighters and masters of weapons, though they do not have the same strength of power that some other species enjoy. They cannot use kanohi. The power of the Tarore lies in enchanting their weapons. Each member of this species can (in a lengthy, complicated process I will not describe here) forge a connection between a weapon and their own body to allow them to exchange attributes between them. This can only be done with one weapon at a time. Because each weapon is attuned to its owner, it cannot be used by anyone else.
Once the connection has been forged, the Tarore can enhance certain qualities of the weapon by lessening that quality in their own body. For example, they might cause the weapon to become more durable for a period of time, while they themselves would become correspondingly more fragile. This process could also work in reverse, allowing the user to become tougher while the weapon becomes more flimsy for as long as the user desires. The same can work for speed (of a projectile weapon), but for the same length of time as the projectile’s speed is enhanced, the user’s own body will lose the same amount of speed as they put into the projectile.
Other attributes transferred can also include strength, weight, density, wellbeing/damage, heat/cold and others too. In all cases, the amount of the attribute gained by the weapon is equal to the amount lost by the user’s body and vice versa.
The Tarore have not overwhelmingly sided with either Mata Nui or Rukahu, being split more or less down the middle.
 
Koni (5%) This is the species to which Lariska belongs. They are of similar size to a toa, standing about 7 feet tall. They are lithe and agile, filled with energy and able to perform amazing physical feats. They cannot use kanohi, though they have the powers of the calix and mask of sensory aptitude innate in them. The Koni have are mostly opposed to Rukahu, though about 25% of the population have joined his ranks.
 
Prime Species (8%) These are the species to which the Barraki belonged. There are six types. Each is able to use kanohi, as well as an ability unique to their type. They are around the same size as toa. There is no dominant trend among them as to whether they support or oppose Rukahu.
Takadox’s species – can hypnotise other beings.
Carapar’s species – are physically stronger than other prime species.
Kalmah’s species – can communicate with and have very limited control over rahi.
Mantax’s species – have increased physical resistance to damage.
Pridak’s species – can regenerate their energy so as never to become tired.
Ehlek’s species are not present on the Southern Continent. They live in the oceans of the Matoran Universe, mostly around Zakaz.
 
 
Factions
 
Since the dome cracked, two factions have risen to power, divided by who they believe should control the continent: the dark, mysterious and powerful Rukahu or the ailing Great Spirit, Mata Nui.
 
Rukahu’s Followers
 
Rukahu’s followers have sprung up quickly in the short time since the dome cracked, but for the short time they have been around, they have gained a large amount of power. While by no means in control yet, their influence is growing as they win over more and more people. If this keeps up, they might soon have enough members and power to take the continent for their own and squash out any dissenters.
 
Ever since Rukahu first appeared on the Southern Continent, he has been relentlessly recruiting. Some of his followers are drawn to his power, desiring it for themselves, others are scared and wish to appease him, some are looking for a place they can belong while others still are just in it for the chance to throw their weight around.
 
Rukahu’s followers are aggressive towards those who oppose them or their master, and aren’t above using violence or intimidation to achieve their ends. They haven’t yet stretched to gratuitous thuggery, though. They’re ruthlessly practical and goal-oriented, not brainless bullies.
 
A few of those who are too vocal about Mata Nui and toa tend to disappear, though village leaders appear to be safe for now. Mata Nui’s followers are still strong, and Rukahu isn’t confident to begin an all-out conquest just yet.
 
Species
The most numerous species with this faction, and the highest ranking, are the Atanako, with large numbers of Tarore also present and smaller groups of Koni and Primes. There are only a few Matoran who have joined, and no Av-matoran or Ce-matoran.
 
Base
The Atanako’s city of Tomo has become the functional base for Rukahu’s Followers, with many of their number moving there from other parts of the Continent. Any former residents who did not join were kicked out.
They control a large area around Tomo, and the Aorangi Mountains, stretching across a large area of the Southern Territory and North into Voya Nui, where they hold sway of the lands to the south and east of Mount Valmai. Tikohi and Pakanga are still considered neutral cities, though Rukahu’s followers have a strong presence in both. Pakanga in particular is leaning towards their control.
 
Leaders
Rukahu himself directs this faction, though he has little to do with its running. He will periodically issue commands to his followers, but mostly stays secluded in his fortress, doing only the Great Beings know what.
Rukahu’s second in command has a much greater role in directing and growing Rukahu’s Followers. He is Taniwha, formerly the leader of the Atanako, now much more, thanks to Rukahu. In addition to command of his followers, Rukahu also bestowed power upon Taniwha, giving him full control over the element of shadow. Compelling, powerful and ruthlessly determined in advancing himself and his action, Taniwha gives orders regarding all of the faction’s activities and has command of the city of Tomo. He and his team of administrators then see that they are carried out as they should be.
 
Goals

  • Gain more followers
  • Spread Rukahu’s influence throughout the Southern Continent (and after that, even further).
  • Suppress talk of toa and Mata Nui’s sovereignty.
  • Do whatever Rukahu may command in the future (this will likely be something big, though nobody is yet aware of the details).

Mata Nui’s Followers
 
This covers almost everyone else, as far as Rukahu’s followers are concerned. They are all the beings who either don’t believe half the wild stories circulating about Rukahu’s power and don’t like what he’s been doing, or live by the principal that an enemy of the Great Spirit is an enemy of theirs.
 
They generally wish for a return to the way things were before the dome cracked – living in their small but peaceful villages. Their lives were simple, but their hard work was fulfilling.
 
All are opposed to Rukahu and his followers, and wish to see their power broken and their members brought to justice. There is disagreement, however, about how this is to be accomplished. There are some (Kodura, mostly) who wish to fight directly against them with strength of arms, storming Tomo and sending the Dark One’s fortress crashing to the groud. Others are more cautious, wishing to wait until Mata Nui’s heroes arrive and then back them up in their quest, whatever that may be. They trust that the Great Spirit will provide a solution to their problems and so they must trust in him.
 
Species
The core of this faction is made up of Matoran and Kodura, though there are many of other species involved as well.
 
Base
Mata Nui’s followers are strongest in the northern cities of Katoa, Hoake and Tapu. These centres of loyalty strongly resist any influence by Rukahu, and most eagerly await the coming of the toa. Many other Matoran villages also take this stance though their small sizes mean that any coordinated action by the Great Spirit’s disciples will likely come from the north.
 
Leaders
 
Mata Nui’s followers have no centralised leadership, since they are spread over such a wide area. There are, however, a few prominent figures.
 
First is the Council of Turaga, where the elders of many of the continent’s villages come together to pool their wisdom and do the best they can for their people. The Council meets in Katoa, so rather than travel themselves, many of the Turaga who live far away send Matoran representatives from their villages in their places. The current leader of the council is Turaga Mana, who was the leader of Po-koro before he moved to Katoa to take up the role.
 
The leaders of Hoake and Tapu are Taua and Ngoi, both lords among the Kodura. Both strongly resent Rukahu’s claims of dominion over the Southern Continent and advocate strong resistance over passively waiting for the Great Spirit’s solutions, though Taua is more disposed to declare war than the more moderate Ngoi.
 
Finally, there is Kumu, one of the leaders of the Karore in Ture. He is distressed that many of his people have joined with the Dark One, and so has travelled west to where he believes he can find aid from others who oppose Rukahu in order to stop the division among his people which is causing people who have been friends for millennia to turn on each other in hostility and enmity, all over Rukahu’s claims of dominion.
 
Goals:

  • Await the coming of the toa, and whatever message they may bring from the Great Spirit.
  • Oppose Rukahu and his followers.
  • Learn more about Rukahu’s nature and powers, as well as the disaster that caused the dome to crack and the suns to grow dim. If possible, reverse it.

Locations
 
The Southern Continent is approximately 2,000km (1500 kio) long and 2,200km (1600 kio) wide. For reference, that’s about half the size of the USA.
 
It is roughly divided up into five territories by important landmarks. Click the map for a larger version.
 
small_southern_continent_map.png
 
The Western Territory lies between the Utoka Mountains and the West Tren Krom River.
 
The Southern Territory covers all of the land south of the Aorangi Mountains and the Tren Krom Rivers.
 
The Eastern Territory spans the area between Mount Mamaoa in the north, the East Tren Krom River in the south, and the great cliff of Landsdrop in the west.
 
The Northern Territory is bordered by the two arms of the Raki River, which run north-west and northeast from Vican’s Lake.
 
Voya Nui is the central region of the continent, being enclosed by The Utoka and Aorangi Mountains, the Raki Rivers and Landsdrop.
 
Aorangi Mountains
This range forms the southern border of Voya Nui. It is characterised by its high peaks, steep slopes and narrow valleys. Most of the higher mountains have snow on the year-round. The Tren Krom Rivers both flow out of this range, with one going west and the other east. They are known as the West Tren Krom River and the East Tren Krom River. Near the southwestern end, there is a village inhabited primarily by Ko-matoran.
 
Utoka Mountains
While the Aorangi Mountains are higher and steeper than their western cousins, the Utoka Mountains cover a greater area. They form the border between the Western Territory and Voya Nui. While barren on the surface, the range is rich in minerals, attracting Onu-matoran and Fe-matoran to the area to mine the wealth. The Onu-Matoran constructed their village underground and are happy there, but the Fe-Matoran desired to spend at least some time above ground, so they built their village there, in a cleft between two mountains. Some miners of other species also live in these villages.
 
West Tren Krom River
This branch of the river flows out of the Aorangi Mountains and along the borders of Voya Nui, the Western Territory and the Southern Territory. It runs deep and cool through fertile terrain, and can provide an easy route of transport between the three.
 
East Tren Krom River
The East Tren Krom River is slow and meandering as it bends north around the eastern end of the Aorangi Mountains. When it reaches the Eastern Territory, it gets even slower and wider as the land flattens out.  It eventually runs into the Paihana Swamp, a wide area of stagnant pools and half-rotten reeds.
 
Landsdrop
The cliff of Landsdrop is where the land falls about 40 bio from Voya Nui to the Eastern Territory. It was created in an earthquake many millennia ago, when the Voya Nui rose up and the Eastern Territory sank. Today, the cliff varies in height, but anywhere along its length, it is still an impressive sight. It runs all the way from Mount Mamaoa in the north to the Aorangi Mountains in the south.
 
Raki Rivers
Both branches of the Raki River are quite similar. Both have carved themselves deep gorges in the northern plain, and now run swift and white over their rocky, boulder-strewn beds.
 
Western Territory
Most of the land in the Western Territory is covered by a large forest, known as the Rata Jungle. It is a colourful place, teeming with all kinds of life.
The northernmost village in the region is Tere, where most of the population are Koni. While the village itself is quite compact, it is not uncommon for Koni to spend weeks or even months at a time roaming all over the jungle before returning to the village. They will only all gather in the village to hold council on important matters facing the village.
Further to the south is Bo-koro, a treetop village composed mostly of Bo-matoran.
Fe-koro, Onu-koro and the adjoining tunnels are also counted as parts of this region.
 
Southern Territory
Most of the Southern Territory is covered by a vast savannahs and grasslands, stretching as far as the eye can see. It is home to large numbers of rahi. The terrain here is normally quite gentle.
Taru valley or “The Silent Valley” is a seemingly peaceful valley, but on closer inspection, travellers will note that no rahi live here. The grasses that grow here will entangle anything that moves, strangle it, and pull it underground. Most beings avoid this place.
Ba-koro is situated about halfway between Taru and the Aorangi Mountains. Its residents are mostly Ba-matoran.
Towards the western end of the plains are the villages of Ce-koro and Kohu. Ce-koro’s inhabitants are mostly Ce-matoran, while Kohu is a village of Tarore. Kohu is the largest settlement of the southern plains.
At the southernmost tip of the continent is Vo/Su-koro, a village co-habited by Vo-matoran and Su-matoran. Both are fewer in number than other types of Matoran on the Southern Continent, so chose to build a village together. Thunderstorms are common along that section of the coast.
Where the plains meet the foothills of the Aorangi range is the main entrance to the underground homeland of the Av-matoran. Their tunnels and caves extend well north of the mountains and under Voya Nui, where their main settlement is. Their realm does not, however, intersect with tunnels mined by the Onu-matoran.
 
Eastern Territory
The Eastern Territory is defined by its dampness. In the south is the Paihana swamp, fed by the East Tren Krom River and wide marshlands north of that. In the north, steam from Mount Mamaoa is carried back south by the prevailing winds to water the land.
De-koro is a village of De-matoran on a large peninsula pointing east into the Silver Sea. The Matoran of sonics live in seclusion from the other peoples of the Southern Continent on account of their love of silence and their distaste for other, noisier beings.
Fa-koro is located on the margins of the Paihana swamp, a village populated mostly by Fa-Matoran. While others fear the boggy labyrinth, the Fa-matoran’s infallible internal compass allows them to successfully navigate safe, dry paths through the mire and draw a living from the wetlands.
 
Northern Territory
The Northern Territory is a dry, windy, inhospitable place, littered with large, sun-baked rock formations. To the south, the land is greener, watered by streams flowing down from Voya Nui. Before the can reach the parched lands beyond, however, they drop down into the deep gorges carved out by the Raki Rivers. These canyons are lined with waterfalls, but serve to collect the water and channel it around the desert, rather than to distribute it across the land. The canyons themselves are covered with mosses and lichens that seem to grow on every available rock face. They flourish on the spray kicked up by the waterfalls and the fast-flowing rivers below.
The source of these rivers lies at the springs under Vican’s Lake, named for an important Matoran who lives in the area. The lake lies between two ranges of hills, which funnel the region’s fierce northerly winds inwards towards the lake, making it one of the windiest places on the Southern Continent. The waters are always choppy, whipped up by the winds. A small island in the lake is home to a village compose mostly of Le-Matoran. A village of Ga-Matoran lies on the eastern shore.
At the northeastern point of the Northern Territory is Mount Mamaoa, an active volcano. The East Raki River ends here, flowing underground into the roots of the mountain. It reappears as steam, which is almost constantly venting from the volcano’s summit.  Some of it will fall back to the earth as rain, making the area around the volcano much wetter and more fertile than the rest of the Territory. Near the border of this area and the true desert is a village populated primarily by Po-matoran.
Ta-koro lies on the western slopes of the volcano, a village populated mostly by Ta-matoran.
The village of Hoia lies far away from the others, towards the west of the wastes. It relies on a hidden oasis that provides the inhabitants with water. Those who live here are mostly of the six Prime species.
 
Voya Nui
The central region of the Southern Continent is a rugged place, unlike the lands that surround it. It is as if, when the continent was sculpted by the Great Beings, they carefully chiselled out the contours of the southern plains, the western forest and the flat eastern marshes with great care, but only roughly hacked out the shape of Voya Nui, as if they intended to come back to it later and finish it off. It is a hard place full of steep, rocky terrain. It is not an easy place to live in, on the whole, but through effort and perseverance, the denizens of the Southern Continent continue to do so.
Many of the Matoran who live in this place were sent here from Karzhani after being the subjects of botched repair jobs by the tyrant who rules that realm.
Mount Valmai is the active volcano in the centre of Voya Nui. Its name comes from an ancient Matoran dialect, and roughly translates to “cursed place”. Cursed how exactly and by whom remains unclear. True, it is a very dangerous place to venture, but ash and soot from its eruptions sustain the forests and fertilise crops for many kio around, enabling Matoran and others to eek a living out of the blasted land.
Mount Valmai is surrounded by a large area of forest, known as the Kauamo Forest. The foliage here is not as bountiful as in the Rata Jungle, nor are the trees as large. Much of the rest of Voya Nui is covered by low scrubland.
On the edges of the forest are the villages of Tikohi (in the southwest) and Pakanga (in the northeast). These are the two largest mixed-race villages on the Southern Continent, where all sorts of different beings mingle together.
Further north, on the eastern arm of Voya Nui, near to the East Raki River is the village of Tapu, which is primarily populated by Kodura. At about the same latitude on the Western arm is another village of Kodura, named Hoake.
North of Hoake is Katoa, a much larger village of Matoran. Katoa is not associated with any element, so it is home to Matoran of almost every elemental affiliation.
The easternmost village in the Voya Nui region is Ture, which sits about halfway between the Aorangi Mountains and Mount Mamaoa, right on the edge of Landsdrop. It occupants are mostly Tarore.
The last significant location in Voya Nui is the Atanako city of Tomo. It is hidden towards the eastern end of the Aorangi range, filling the end of a hidden, steep-sided valley in the mountains. It extends back into a system of caves with the bedrock of the mountains. Almost all of the Atanako live here, along with some members of other species, though most of them have arrived since it became the hub of Rukahu’s faction.
Rukahu himself does not live within the city. High up on the southern slopes of the valley is a towering spire of black rock that looms over the carved city. While it had been left alone by almost everyone up until Rukahu’s appearance, The Dark One took an immediate liking to the place, and, in a display of power, remoulded the peak into his fortress by merely commanding it to be. He has taken the place for his own and few are now allowed to approach it.
 
Most of the Matoran villages shown on the map have populations in the order of a few hundred. Villages with larger dots are larger (who would have guessed?) with the mixed-race villages being the largest. Smaller villages also exist, dotted around the continent, but they are not large or important enough to be put on the map.
 
Domefalls
Domefalls occur where the ceiling of the Southern Continent’s dome is cracked and water flows in from the oceans outside Mata Nui’s body. This water is strongly mutagenic after contact with the robot’s systems. Where it falls to the ground, large, foul-smelling bogs are created, populated by rahi which have been tainted by the water. Sometimes sapient beings are also affected by the waters.
 
 
Your Involvement
 
You can play as the inhabitants of the Southern Continent and have a hand in shaping its destiny. You can help either faction to gain control of the land and its people or discover the mysteries it holds.
A few players will also get the chance to play as one of the toa on Jovan’s team. Anyone who wants to do this can create a profile and submit it. The ones I like best will become the Toa Whakaora. The winners will be announced about a week into the game, and then they can begin their journey into the Southern Continent in search of the Kanohi Ignika. At least one of these toa will wear a kanohi elda, while another will wear a kanohi olmak. Jovan will be controlled by me.
 
To begin playing, fill out this profile sheet for approval.
 
Name: Make it sound BIONICLE-ish
Species: Something from the MU, but not Makuta.
Gender: Male, Female, unknown, neither, somewhere inbetween…
Faction: Mata Nui’s Followers or Rukahu’s Followers
Powers: Something that fits with the species.
Kanohi: If applicable to the chosen species.
Appearance: What do they look like? A MoC, drawing or description will do.
Equipment: What do they have with them?
Home Village: Fa-koro, Bo-koro, Katoa, Tomo, none, etc
Biography: About their life.
Personality: What are they like? How do they act?
Skills/Strengths: What are they good at?
Weaknesses: What are they bad at? What hurts them?
 
As with any RPG, there are some canon powers that cannot be used. These include:

  • The legendary masks, for obvious reasons.
  • The olmak, avohkii, krahkan and mask of elemental energy, all of which are unique. There are none of these masks in existence other than the ones shown in the canon story.
  • The mohtrek, because insta-armies are annoying.
  • The mask of undeath, because unkillable zombies are no fun.
  • The komau (great mask of bunnying), the sanok (great mask of auto-hitting) and the Mask of Clairvoyance (great mask of meta-gaming). While it is possible to use these responsibly in an RPG, I’d rather save everyone the trouble of sorting out how they should and shouldn’t be used within good RPing etiquette.
  • The mask of conjuring, because it is rediculously overpowered.

You cannot play as a canon character. Make your own.Each player can control up to five characters at one time.
 
 
RULES

  • All BZP rules apply, obviously.
  • In general, don’t do anything that detracts from other peoples’ enjoyment of the game. All the usual RPG fallacies fall under this, such as god-modding, meta-gaming, bunnying, auto-hitting and the like. For more on these, see the BZPRPG, where you will find some great descriptions and more details on the subtleties of these.
  • Use IC and OOC to separate what your character(s) do from you talking to other players. IF all you have to say is OOC, use the discussion topic.
  • No nova blasts or other apocalyptic, continent destroying attacks. I want to have a world in which to keep this game going.
  • Do not kill or injure somebody else’s character without permission. The same goes for (character) life changing events.GMs have the right to do anything they see fit in the IC world. This includes punishments for rule-breaking and rewards for making positive contributions to the RPG.

GLOSSARY
 
This is a list of all the terms I invented for this game. Most were made up on the spot, so this is to help myself and others keep track of them. 
 
 
Aorangi – a mountain range to the south of Voya Nui.
Atanako – Shadow Stealer’s species.Domefall – a place where water falls through cracks in the Southern Continent’s dome.
Hoake – a village in Voya Nui, populated by Kodura.
Hoia – a village in the Northern Territory, populated by Prime species.
Katoa – a village in Voya Nui, populated by Matoran.
Kodura – Trinuma’s species.
Kohu – a village in the Southern Territory, populated by Tarore.
Koni – Lariska’s species.
Kumu – a Tarore leader.
Mamaoa – a volcano is the Northern Territory.
Mana – leader of the Council of Turaga.
Ngoi – a Tarore lord.
Landsdrop – a cliff in the Eastern Territory.
Paihana – a swamp in the Eastern Territory.
Pakanga - a village in Voya Nui, populated by beings of many species.
Raki – a pair of rivers in the Northern Territory.
Rata – a jungle in the Western Territory.
Rukahu – a mysterious, dark being who has claimed power in the Southern Continent, as well as responsibility for the effects of the Great Disruption.
Taniwha – an Atanako, second in command of Rukahu’s followers.
Tapu - a village in Voya Nui, populated by Kodura.
Tarore – Hydraxon’s species.
Taua – a Kodura lord.
Tere – a village in the Western Territory, populated by Koni.
Tikohi – a village in Voya Nui, populated by beings of many species.
Tomo – a village in the Aorangi Mountains, home of the Atanako and base of Rukahu’s followers.
Ture – a village in Voya Nui, populated by Tarore.
Utoka – a mountain range in the west of Voya Nui. 
 
 
 


transformation_title_image.png

Across the island, all was peaceful. Light was just beginning to creep into the dome. Birds called to each other, announcing the arrival of a new day. Insects hummed between flowers, enjoying the balmy late spring weather. It could not last, however. The idyllic scene was about to be broken by a terrible scream.It was a scream of horror, revulsion and fear, all rolled into one blood-curdling yell. Soon, it was joined by another, and another. All across this island paradise, hundreds upon hundreds of throats let out similar cries as they woke to find gruesome, twisted monsters in their villages, their homes, and even their mirrors.The Transformation had begun.
 
 
SUMMARY
 
This RPG is set 72,000 years before the Great Cataclysm, on the Island of Zakaz.Maukta Spiriah has infected the entire island with a series of viruses that turned the native Skakdi from a peaceful, prosperous race into grotesque, vicious warriors. Chaos has erupted as the Skakdi awoke to find themselves in varying stages of transition, and only intensified in the next three days as the changes were completed.
 
The government is trying to keep a lid on things, but are failing miserably, as officials are dealing with similar transformations to everyone else. In the tumult of the change, some have embraced their new nature and powers in an attempt to seize power. Chief among these is the former head of law enforcement, a Skakdi named Nektann. He has gathered a group of criminals, rogues and power-mongers to take control of the island for his own ends. He has some competition, but as of now, his army is the largest rebel group.The Makuta himself is nowhere to be found, and many believe him to have left the island. The only sign is a squadron of Visorak he left to guard his fortress and prevent anyone from coming or going to and from the island.
 
One thing is clear, however. Zakaz is now a very different place, and will be transformed even more in the coming weeks, months and years.How it is transformed is up to you to decide. Will you join the rebels, using you newfound powers to gain wealth and influence? Will you attempt to put down the rebellions and restore peace to Zakaz? Are you going to throw you lot in with the Makuta, and submit to whatever plans he has for the island?Whichever you choose, you will alter the fate of your homeland.
 
 
THE STORY SO FAR:
 
Day 0: Makuta Spiriah sends out his viruses to mutate the Skakdi race. They do not take effect immediately.
 
Day 1: This marks the beginning of the Transformation. Overnight, the viruses have begun to take effect and the Skakdi’s bodies have started to change. After the initial attack of island-wide panic, they gather together in each village as well as the capital to seek answers. It is revealed that the Makuta caused the virus, but for what purpose is unknown. Not much more progress is made in any of the meetings. They soon break up out of fear, anger, and uncontrollable flashes of power.
 
Day 2: By this stage, the Skakdi are looking mostly like their mutated forms. Everyone is in panic mode as more and more changes occur. There is looting and violence in the streets as everyone tries to hoard supplies or find a cure. Civilisation grinds to a screaming halt. Many buildings are damaged. There is little coordinated response from the Zakaz government because they are just as confused by the changes as everybody else.Anyone who tries to leave or enter Zakaz encounters Visorak. The island is cut off from the rest of the Matoran Universe.
 
Day 3: The mutations are now complete. Nektann sees the way things are going and defects from the Avan to form his own faction. He releases several notorious criminals on his way out, and begins recruiting scoundrels to join him in seizing power.
Still reeling from the loss of one of their top men, the government begins to put together a response. Malok declares martial law, but the Avan prove too few to be truly effective against such widespread disaster. Some quiet is achieved in the streets, but crime is still rampant, as every Skakdi fights for themselves or their small group. Most are beginning to gain some control over their powers by now.
There is still no sign of the Makuta, but those loyal to him are a force to be reckoned with, as they defend his tower from all assailants and clamp down on any malicious or destructive activities in the surrounding area. They appear to be plotting something, but as yet, nobody knows what.
Rumours are flying that a Skakdi of Quo-nari named Makan has (or has almost) isolated a cure for the Skakdi’s mutation. The respected, if slightly eccentric doctor was unfortunately killed in a riot in Quo-kuna, but his work still exists… somewhere. If it can be found, completed and used, there may yet be hope for Zakaz.
All of the islands major factions are showing an interest in this. The Zakaz Government wants it perfected and used widely, Makuta’s Devotees want it destroyed so that the mutation is permanent, while various rebel groups want to obtain it because of the power it represents and to gain more influence on the island. It could be a powerful bargaining chip, and the warlords know it.
 
Day 4: Beginning of the RPG. From here, events are (mostly) under the players’ control.
 
 
FACTIONS
 
All across the island, beings are banding together for protection or in pursuit of their goals. The four most important ones are listed below.
 
Zakaz Government
 
The government of Zakaz exists to keep the peace and to make sure that day to day activities across the island run smoothly. Malok, the king, has supreme power, but most often has not used it. He finds that most conflicts can be resolved without resorting to that, and prefers to work with his subjects to find solutions. Under Malok, there are several ministers/advisers who oversee various areas of the administration, such as trade, law enforcement, mining, agriculture and dealings with other islands.
 
Goals:

  • Keep order on Zakaz.
  • Find a way to cope with the Transformation or reverse it.
  • Investigate all possible cures for the mutation. If any turn out to be useful, use it on as many Skakdi as possible.

Nektann’s Rebels
 
This group, led by the former head of the Avan (law enforcement organisation), is composed of individuals who have given in to their darker sides and are using their newfound powers to wreak havoc in the city of Atia. As yet, their influence is weak outside the city’s walls, but what began as a group of criminals hungry for power is quickly solidifying into an army.
 
Goals:

  • Subvert whatever the government is doing.
  • Gain more recruits.
  • Launch an attack on Atia and attempt to seize power.

Makuta’s Devotees
 
Right now, most of Zakaz hates Spiriah for transforming them as he did. It is well known that the Makuta was the source of the infection, but nobody knows the details of how or why he did it. This faction, however, includes many beings who are loyal to Spiriah, including his team of Toa Hagah. These beings go against strong public opinion, and believe that the Makuta of the island will provide a solution to their problems. They reason that the Makuta had a purpose in mutating the Skakdi as he did, and do not know that the experiment went horribly wrong from Spiriah’s perspective, as well as everyone else’s.
 
Goals:

  • Stop anyone trying to undo the Makuta’s mutation.
  • Await the Makuta’s return and maintain the faction until he does.
  • Convince everyone else not to kill Spiriah as soon as he shows his mask.
  • Defend the Makuta’s fortress.
  • Exercise the Makuta’s will on Zakaz, whatever that may be.

Neutral Citizens
 
In the days since the Transformation began, most of the factions’ activities have taken place in the capital, Atia and the surrounding lands. In other locations around Zakaz, people are responding to the situation in their own ways, most often fighting for resources or trying to find ways to undo the effects of the virus.
 
Goals:

  • Survive the chaos.
  • Do whatever your character wants.

Player Created Factions
 
It is encouraged that players create their own groups. If your character thinks they could do a better job than King Malok, great! Get some followers and mount a coup. If they think they can be a better warlord than Nektann, form a group and go take him down. If they desire peace and want to help their people through this difficult time and emerge stronger out the other side, good for them. Find some help, form a group and make it happen. If they hate Spiriah and live for revenge... well good luck on that one, but you'll need an awful lot of backup to take down the Makuta. It could happen though.
 
If you want to form a group with a goal and a name, be my guest. The new faction will not, however, get any NPCs or vast resources. You can have a name and a goal, and even fortify one of your character's homes against attacks. Over time, these factions may grow to rival the main three if players put enough work into them.
 
 
LOCATIONS
 
Here are two maps of Zakaz. The first shows the island and the nari borders, the other only shows landmarks. Some important locations are described below, in the state they were before Spiriah released his viruses. 
 


zakaz_map_1_smaller_image.pngzakaz_map_2_smaller_image.png

All of the locations below are named in the language of the Skakdi, rather than Matoran. Note that the words used here are a little different, as the characters are all speaking a different tongue.
 
Te-nari
The southern region of Zakaz is dominated by Mount Krahn. The volcano feeds numerous lava streams. It erupts so frequently that the sides of the mountain are completely bare of any life, as if even nature has given up trying to colonise the place. Further afield from the summit, however, volcanic ash provides excellent fertiliser to sustain forests and fields alike. The Skakdi of the region grow much of the island’s food. The forests are easily navigable for travellers, because occasional forest fires keep the foliage from growing too dense.
 
Situated between two lava streams is Te-kuna, the village of fire. The buildings here are constructed from blocks of black volcanic stone.
 
Ana-nari
This region of Zakaz is only inhabited underground, where a network of tunnels and caves are home to many Skakdi. Most of the tunnels are concentrated just north of Te-nari, but there are also underground roads leading to other places of note around the island, such as the other settlements. The tunnels are lit both by torches and a series of mirrors that reflect the light from the dome into most major tunnels.
Irnakk’s Maw is a giant cave entrance that opens onto Te-nari, and where many of that region’s lava flows re-enter the earth. Many of the mirrors take daylight from this opening, and it is said that, when viewed from a distance, the glinting lenses look like flashing teeth in a gigantic, fiery mouth.
 
Ana-kuna is the village of earth. The village is found within a giant cavern with two rivers running through it; one of water, the other of lava. The dwellings here are carved into massive Stalagmites, many of which reach to the cavern’s ceiling, hundreds of bio above. Ana-kuna is known for its mineral wealth and the skill of its craftsmen in making all sorts of tools, weapons and armour.
 
Pi-nari
Zakaz’s region of stone is a vast canyonland along the south-western coast. The Kona and Malana rivers flow down from Quo-nari and Lake Turano before joining at Furl Drop, a giant, multi-level waterfall that descends more than 500 bio to the floor of Mara Canyon, the largest on the island and home to Pi-kuna. After the joining, the river is known as the Karoro.
 
Pi-kuna, the village of stone is recessed within the eastern wall of Mara Canyon. The vertical stone here has been worked into a huge collection of ramps, stairs and ladders that connect the many balconies of the stone village. Each balcony leads into a house or shop within the cliff face. The warm, orange-brown stone gives a cosy feel to the homes here, as well as a majestic view at sunset when the canyon is lit with bright lights and deep shadows.The Skakdi of Pi-kuna are adventurous and famous for their skills in combat, sports and survival. The harsh, dry landscape they inhabit provides few resources and harbours many dangerous rahi. As if those weren’t enough of a challenge, bungy jumping and hang gliding are available in the canyonlands, though notoriously dangerous for any who choose to join the daredevils.
 
Also to be found in Pi-nari is Spiriah’s Tower. This is the Makuta’s base on Zakaz, where he works his dangerous experiments. The tower itself is built on top of a cylindrical spire of stone, so as to only be accessible by those with the power of flight or some other way to bridge the canyon. There is a bridge to the tower, but it can disappear in an instant, controlled by some mechanism with in the tower. As of the RPG's beginning, the bridge will not be there.
 
Quo-nari
Quo-nari is the mountainous, icy region of Zakaz’s north. High in the Pili Mountains, steep cliffs and ravines dominate the landscape. Glaciers are also a common feature in many valleys. The altitude and cold prevent many plants from growing here, but the hardy shrubs and grasses that grow here often have medicinal properties. Also rumoured to exist here is the jugo tree of legend, which is said to undo any wound or mutation. It is thought that Makan's elixir was derived from this plant.
 
Quo-kuna, the village of ice, is the most isolated on the island. It is a quiet place, with most Skakdi preferring to stay indoors to do their business. The homes here are built from cement studded with heatstones, and packed closely together in order to give the outdoor spaces some protection from the cold and the alpine wind.Quo-kuna is not an industrial town – there are too few resources up in these frozen lands, but instead the people here make a living from their skills. Quo-nari boasts many of the island’s best doctors and healers, trained in the use of the region’s plant life. It is also a haven for artists of all types. The peace and stunning views have inspired many great works, from music to sculptures and paintings.
 
Gu-nari
Gu-nari is the region of water, and reaches from the north-eastern coast to Lake Turano, and the smaller Lake Roto. The region has a damp climate, and is filled with marshes, wetlands and wide fields. It is home to many of the island’s rahi, including heards of Tahtorak.The main feature of Gu-nari is the Awa River, which flows from Lake Turano in the centre of the island to the Silver Sea. The river runs clear and cool over the moist terrain, providing an easy way of travel for mariners, who both fish the river for its abundant food supply and ferry other Skakdi up and down the river.
 
Gu-kuna, the village of water is situated in an underwater cave in the Awa River. Protected from outside attacks, the town is only accessible by swimming or airtight vessels that run on tracks along the riverbed. An air pocket allows the village to stay dry, if a little humid, and is kept fresh by a large skylight that also lights the settlement. The dwellings are built around the edges of the cave on solid ground. Most are constructed from wood, which is abundant in the swamps and forests above. Gu-kuna is the transport hub of Zakaz. The large port outside the Gu-kuna cave holds all types of boats, from large sailing ships ready to take on the silver sea or Lake Turano, to small rafts better suited to the swift-flowing canyon rivers of Pi-nari. For overland transport, Gu-kuna is the home base for domesticated Tahtorak, which are used as steeds for the Skakdi.
 
La-nari
This region of Zakaz is a lush rainforest, the Rata Jungle, is often covered by curtains of swirling mist. The shining droplets reduce the visibility among the dark, evergreen trees, and can give it an unearthly feel, not to mention making it easy to get lost in. Between the gargantuan trunks, there is very little undergrowth. Instead, a thick layer of moss serves as the carpet. It can conceal dead trunks and pot holes, however, so watch your step.Some of the more remote parts of this rainforest remain unexplored. Strange tales are told of these regions and what beings might reside there. Some say ghosts, some say walking trees, while other describe beings alien to anything else in the universe.
 
The La-nari forest overlaps with Ana-nari, with trees on the surface and tunnels beneath. Just who owns this part of land, however, has never been a problem – neither group wants to use the other’s area. The greatest feature of this forest is undoubtedly the forest monarch, Mahana. This giant tree reaches 50 bio above the rest of the forest, its canopy extending like a dome 100 bio across on top of the rest of the forest’s roof. More than just a big tree however, Mahana is alive and sentient. Her mind watches over the forest, wherever trees grow in La-nari. What she makes of it, however, is anyone’s guess, and communication is fraught with difficulty. Her thoughts are revealed in the swirling patterns and arcane symbols that are in constant motion across her bark. Some say that the pattern of these will predict the future, while others assert that the patterns of mist move in unison.
 
La-kuna, the village of La-nari is situated a good distance from Mahana, because nobody had the guts or gumption to build anything too close to the revered tree, let alone it in. Instead, the wooden houses are built on the ground. They are well camouflaged, however, and unless one knows where to look, one could easily miss it in the mist.La-kuna Skakdi are known as builders and engineers. It is they who produce the great ships of Gu-nari and construct all kinds of buildings across the island.
 
Atia
Atia is the capital city of Zakaz, and is neutral territory where beings of all elements and backgrounds meet. Almost surrounded by Lake Turano and the Awa River, Atia is a much larger city than any of the kuna. A wall surrounds the city, but the gates are always open, as the fortifications have not been needed in a long time. The city is a hodge-podge of architectural styles and cultures, allowing it to feel like home to all of its diverse inhabitants as well as highlighting the peaceful co-existence of so many in one place. Important places in and around the city include:

  • Lake Turano, which is the largest body of water on Zakaz. The huge lake borders 6 of the 7 regions, and is a gateway for travellers, as well as providing water for much of the island.
  • Mana Palace, where the King of Zakaz lives, rules and deals with the people. The current holder of that title is named Malok, a Skakdi of magnetism. The palace is the city’s largest building, reaching out from a small, central tower built of a mixture of stone and wood. It lies in the middle of the city, surrounded by a park. Most of the palace is open to the public for dealings with their king and his administrators.
  • Avan Headquarters is situated adjacent to the main gate of Atia, and serves as the fortress that Mana is not. Built from thick stone and iron, there are only two entrances. One is the main gate, the other a secret underground passageway leading into the palace. The large building towers over the small houses and businesses in other parts of the city, with several battlements equipped with projectile weapons. Inside, the place is a warren of various chambers used by Zakaz’s law enforcement, including a small jail.
  • Traders’ Square. Just as the name suggests, this part of Atia is the commercial hub of both the city and Zakaz. Goods of all kinds are traded here, from food and water to medicines, tools, trinkets and weapons. The last is much less common than in other parts of the MU, because Zakaz doesn’t have much trouble aside from the occasional plague of rahi. Much of the trade that goes on here uses a barter system, but there is also a currency known as the grala – small gold spheres engraved with various symbols that signify their worth.
  • Nektann's hideout is the base for this warlord and his criminal gang. The base is in what used to be one of the largest shops in the city, one selling fresh produce from Te-nari. Here, the villains are well supplied, but the design of the building and many exits make security a problem.

ADDITIONAL NOTES ON ZAKAZ
 
Technology Level
 
The level of technology on Zakaz is greater than that of the Matoran on Mata Nui, but nowhere near Xia standard. The Skakdi can make some pretty cool tools and structures, but they are nowhere near modern day technology or the ‘magical’ technologies produced on Xia and Nynrah.The currency of Zakaz is the grala. These can be used like widgets to buy things in the markets of Zakaz, but most Skakdi just use a barter system. Gralas are small gold spheres engraved with various symbols that signify their worth. These are notoriously difficult to counterfeit.
 
Mutated vs. Un-mutated Skakdi
 
Prior to the Transformation, the Skakdi were smaller and less powerful than they are now. They were shorter than most toa and had small spines down their backs. Their faces were more normal and their jaws were much smaller than the gruesome grins we saw on the Piraka sets. They had the ability to use great kanohi, and also possessed the latent elemental traits seen in Matoran (heat resistance for Ta-matoran, lung capacity and swimming skills for Ga-matoran, etc), only stronger. If your character is not of one of the main elemental types, you can make up the trait that goes with their element (but keep it reasonable).
 
As a result of Spiriah’s virus, they have grown taller and stronger, their spines have enlarged and their jaws have sprouted huge teeth. They have lost the mental discipline to access the powers of kanohi, but have gained other abilities. Chief among these new powers is the ability to use elemental powers to a toa level, but only when working together with another mutated Skakdi. Second is a vision power, such as X-ray vision or laser vision. These powers work by shooting beams from the Skakdi’s eyes, and whatever those beams hit is affected by the power. Finally, each mutated Skakdi gained a third power. These are highly variable between individuals, so be creative when coming up with your own unique powers. Be cautious in this, however, of over-powering. The pirakas’ abilities should be considered the upper limit here.The final and perhaps most disturbing change for the Skakdi is the transformation of their minds. While pre-mutation Skakdi were mostly calm, friendly sorts, Spiriah’s virus has given them an inclination towards high tempers and violent outbursts.This game takes place three days after the original infection, which took about that long to do its work and completely transform all the Skakdi. Most characters will still be getting used to their new powers, and will not be experts yet. 
 
In a small break from canon, both mutated and non-mutated Skakdi will be able to form Kaita, with the proviso that the characters who create the fusion must be controlled by at least two different players. Both types of fusions (mutated and non-mutated) will gain stature and strength, as well as having access to all the powers of the individuals who created it. A Kaita formed by three non-mutated Skakdi will also affect the fused kanohi of the three, and allow its powers to be used to a higher level than they could be otherwise. For example, if one member of the Kaita wore a hau, the resulting fusion would be able to not only create force fields around themselves, but in other places as well, and then be able to manipulate those fields and move them around. If one member of the Kaita wore a huna, the resulting fusion would be able to make themselves from sight and hearing, though they would still cast a shadow, as per the normal great huna.
 
 
GAMEPLAY
 
In this game, you will play as one of the inhabitants of Zakaz. This can mean that your characters can be Skakdi or other MU species that happen to be on Zakaz at the time.This is very much a sandbox RPG, so your characters’ actions will determine the course of events. Zakaz may end up much like it did in the canon universe; a war-torn desolation, or alternatively, it may turn out to be a very different place. Your actions will determine which and how. So have fun. Go visit Makan's house or take a look at his body. Pick fights over a bag of food. This world is just waiting for you to make it come to life.
 
With that said, a “sandbox” game does not mean that there will be no overarching, GM-run plot. There will be, but which direction it takes will be determined by what the players do in the first few weeks of gameplay. There are a few ways this game could go, but only the one that fits best with what the players are doing will be put into action.
 
 
CHARACTERS
 
Most characters in this game will be Skakdi. It is, after all, their island. Other MU species will be allowed, but bear in mind that they will be heavily outnumbered. If you can concoct a good reason for a non-Skakdi character to be on Zakaz, go ahead and play them. It is likely, however, that they may have been affected by the Makuta’s viruses in some way.The same applies to un-mutated Skakdi. These are playable if you can think of an excuse for them not to have been on Zakaz at the time of the infection, and also a way to get them back past the Visorak guards.As with any RPG, there are some canon powers that cannot be used. These include:

  • The legendary masks, for obvious reasons.
  • The olmak, avohkii, krahkan and mask of elemental energy, all of which are unique. There are none of these masks in existence other than the ones shown in the canon story.
  • The elements of light and shadow, because there are no naturally occurring Skakdi of light or shadow, and the shadow leech hasn’t been invented yet (and won't be for thousands of years yet).
  • The mohtrek, because insta-armies are annoying.
  • The mask of undeath, because unkillable zombies are no fun.
  • The mask of mutation, because things can't be solved that easily.
  • The komau (great mask of bunnying), the sanok (great mask of auto-hitting) and the Mask of Clairvoyance (great mask of meta-gaming). While it is possible to use these responsibly in an RPG, I’d rather save everyone the trouble of sorting out how they should and shouldn’t be used within good RPing etiquette.
  • The mask of conjuring, because it is rediculously overpowered.

You cannot play as a canon character. Make your own.Each player can control up to five characters at one time, but I might be lenient here if someone has a really great idea for a sixth character that will enhance the RPG in some way.Fill out this character profile and submit it for approval. This layout is designed for a Skakdi character, so for other species it will need a bit of altering. Feel free to change the format if you wish.
 
Name: Make it sound BIONICLE-ish

Species: Something from the MU, but not Makuta.

Edited by The Lorax, Jan 02 2014 - 02:57 AM.

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#671 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Mar 10 2013 - 07:39 AM

Secrets and Shadows:

To start off, you must remove the Atanako. According to Biosector:

Shadow Stealer is an extremely old being, and was a hero before the first Toa were created.

This shows that he was most likely a citizen of Spherus Magna, or at least a very early creation of the GBs. In short, if he was an early creation, it is unlikely there are more of him, and if he was a citizen of SM, it is unlikely any more of his species went into the MU. Second, I hope you realize that the Northern Territory will become Mahri Nui. Other than that, I recommend cutting down on the vast amount of text in the Locations Section.

 

Transformation:

The viruses Spiriah released didn't alter the Skakdi's forms- it just gave them power. To make this work for your RPG, I recommend that the powers were uncontrollable at first. Next, Zakaz was always a dangerous place. The viruses just made it even more so.  You probably did this on purpose, but you should explain this, because these are giant plotholes.


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I used to have a banner here.

 

But that RPG is dead.

 

What now?


#672 Online The Lorax

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Posted Mar 10 2013 - 02:31 PM

Hi Canis Lupus. Thanks for the feedback.

 

Secrets and Shadows:

To start off, you must remove the Atanako. According to Biosector:

Shadow Stealer is an extremely old being, and was a hero before the first Toa were created.

This shows that he was most likely a citizen of Spherus Magna, or at least a very early creation of the GBs. In short, if he was an early creation, it is unlikely there are more of him, and if he was a citizen of SM, it is unlikely any more of his species went into the MU.

 

 Shadow Stealer is a bio-mechanical, protodermic being just like everyone else in the Matoran Universe. In fact, if you look in the sapient species section of BS01, you will see that he is listed as part of a species, not a one-of-a-kind.

The part about being a hero before the toa refers to him having once been part of the Hand of Artakha, an organisation who were heroes within the MU before the Great Spirit's awakening. The timeline on BS01 (history of the MU) lists the Hand of Artakha being formed right before it talks about Helryx's creation (making him, as you say, a hero before the first toa were created).

 

Second, I hope you realize that the Northern Territory will become Mahri Nui. Other than that, I recommend cutting down on the vast amount of text in the Locations Section.

 

No it won't. The Noethern Territory stays with the rest of the Southern Continent during the Great Cataclysm, and the Mahri Nui landmass won't be formed until much later. From BS01:

During the Great Cataclysm, Mount Valmai erupted, sending large amounts of molten Protodermis in the direction of the Voya Nui Bay. This later cooled, and the Matoran of Voya Nui constructed the village of Mahri Nui on top of the hardened formation.

Around 700 years later, Mahri Nui broke off and sank beneath the waves due to its weak foundations. The land took the Matoran village and hundreds of Matoran down with it.

 

Other than that, I recommend cutting down on the vast amount of text in the Locations Section.

 

That's a fair point. I wasn't too happy with the locations on this one. They lacked something I couldn't quite put my finger on, so I tried writing and rewriting more until I got it. Still didn't work. Even if I did get them to a plaec where I was happy with them, though, don't expect that section to be too small. The Southern Continent is a big place, so it takes a lot to describe it.

 

Transformation:

The viruses Spiriah released didn't alter the Skakdi's forms- it just gave them power.

 

I don't think it was stated anywhere what the Skakdi looked like before the Transformation, or if they were the same as they were afterwards. True, I've taken some liberty here, but that comes with the territory of filling in history that we don't know much about.

Let's remember that the one who wrought these changes was Makuta Spiriah. The Makuta were created to mess with the morphologies of animals and create new ones. What Spiriah did here was just an extension of that, but since it was Spiriah (the failure at everything), it went wrong. I think that given his skills with viruses (next to none), there is every chance that there were some (possibly unintended) physical changes in the Skakdi, especially if he was trying not to make them.

 

To make this work for your RPG, I recommend that the powers were uncontrollable at first.

 

Already done. Here are bits from the timeline section, days one and three.

They soon break up out of fear, anger, and uncontrollable flashes of power. 

Most are beginning to gain some control over their powers by now.

Note that "some" is not the same as "total". The Skakdi will still be having troubles with their powers, but doing it this way allows players to  have fun exploring their characters' new abilities. 

 

Next, Zakaz was always a dangerous place. The viruses just made it even more so.  You probably did this on purpose, but you should explain this, because these are giant plotholes.

 

Where do you get that idea from? If you can show me, I'd be interested to know, but here are three quotes from BS01 that seem to suggest it wasn't so bad.

 

Zakaz was a peaceful island until an allegedly renegade Makuta, Spiriah, appeared on the island.

Mata Nui created the Skakdi, and they existed as a relatively peaceful race.

While not the most trustworthy species, the Skakdi usually managed to live in peace with other races. After Spiriah's experiment, the Skakdi turned on each other and began their long tradition of being brutal, murderous, and treacherous beings.


Edited by The Lorax, Mar 10 2013 - 05:12 PM.

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#673 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Mar 10 2013 - 03:50 PM

Okay, with most of these I had some misconceptions and I see that I didn't know what I was talking about. :P  Ie: I thought Mahri Nui was torn up with Voya, Skakdi were warlike before the viruses hit. But with Shadow Stealer, all we really know is what was in the Dark Hunters book, which isn't enough to determine whether or not he was unique or a member of a species. It could go either way. With the appearance deal, here is what Biosector has to say:

Experiments performed by Spiriah caused the Skakdi to gain Elemental Powers that could only work in combinations, as well as vision powers and other abilities.

It doesn't say anything about the appearance prior to the experiments. The reason I recommend making powers uncontrollable is because if Skakdi looked the same before and after the viruses, this revolt was basically caused because the Skakdi were leveled (Power wise) to the level of a Toa. Is that really something that would cause Zakaz would descend into what is described in Day Two?


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#674 Online The Lorax

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Posted Mar 10 2013 - 05:32 PM

Okay, with most of these I had some misconceptions and I see that I didn't know what I was talking about. :P  Ie: I thought Mahri Nui was torn up with Voya, Skakdi were warlike before the viruses hit.

 

Yeah, I put a lot of research into creating these games, and tried to keep as close to canon as possible while filling in gaps in such a way that the game is interesting and fun. It keeps me entertained, trying to weave in as much accuracy as possible.

 

But with Shadow Stealer, all we really know is what was in the Dark Hunters book, which isn't enough to determine whether or not he was unique or a member of a species. It could go either way.

 

Actually, BS01 does list his species on the page of unnamed species that inhabit the MU. Here's a link.  Since almost nothing else is known about them, there was nothing to stop me from making up other stuff about them for the purposes of my game.

 

With the appearance deal, here is what Biosector has to say:

Experiments performed by Spiriah caused the Skakdi to gain Elemental Powers that could only work in combinations, as well as vision powers and other abilities.

It doesn't say anything about the appearance prior to the experiments.

 

Nor does it say their appearances didn't change as a side-effect. See my above point about Spiriah likely not having the skills to give them powers without at least some physical side-effects (and I can't imagine why he wouldn't want a few of those as well). Since canon isn't clear either way, I went with the option that worked better for my game.

 

The reason I recommend making powers uncontrollable is because if Skakdi looked the same before and after the viruses, this revolt was basically caused because the Skakdi were leveled (Power wise) to the level of a Toa. Is that really something that would cause Zakaz would descend into what is described in Day Two?

 

That is one of the reasons why I made the physical changes so prominent. Just getting the power would still cause beings like Nektann to go bad and start using their powers selfishly, (which would be trouble enough in itself) but along with a horrifying physical change, that would certainly be enough to push their civilisation over the edge.

The game is built on that happening and then exploring the aftermath and possible rebuilding, so I made sure to set up the backstory so that Zakaz's society would crash, and bigtime.

 

If I did as you suggested and had no physical differences and inaccessible powers, what has really changed? Not much, so far as I can see. No crash, no anarchy, no plotline.


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#675 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Mar 10 2013 - 05:55 PM

 Skakdi Appearance- The way I saw it when I first made the comments was that no physical changes had occurred, which was why I said some of the things that I did. Because Biosector didn't say anything, it can go either way. I went one way, you went the other. Both of these look very good, and I refined. Which are you leaning towards submitting?


Edited by Canis Lupus, Mar 10 2013 - 05:56 PM.

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#676 Online The Lorax

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Posted Mar 10 2013 - 07:00 PM

Transformation. I've put more work into it, while Secrets and Shadows is still a bit rough and un-polished. Plus, I think Transformation will be a more interesting plot with more freedom for the players, and the location, while big, aren't a wall of boring text.

 

On the other hand, Secrets and Shadows might also be fun, particularly when exploring the less-known and less-played species. I'm quite partial to the power systems I assigned to each of them, particularly the Tarores'. It's something I'd like to test out one way or another. The plot is a very different type to Transformation as well. This is more of a contest between two factions combined with a quest to retrieve the Ignika before the other does. Transfomation is much more freeform, because it centres on peoples' reactions to a big event. It is about players in a power vacuum, while this already has a strong authority and focusses more on the characters' attempts not to be dominated by it.

They're very different and both have their strengths, but really, Transfomation has it at the moment.


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#677 Offline JL Zehvor

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Posted Mar 11 2013 - 09:32 AM

The RPG I plan on submitting. I would like some critique and reviews so I can see where I can improve, etc.So, yup. Read one! Hopefully I didn't just break it! 

Middleground

 

Inspired by Arbiter 617's "Middleground"

 

[color=rgb(0,102,255);]"It's like a mumbo jumbo of everything", press conference holder Prof. Haden had said, "From combinations of data, to neural connections, to spatial distortion. We don't know how it's there, when it was there, how it was there, whether or not it was natural or created, just that it's there - and that in the center of it, there's a temporal....vortex. In the center of this mirror world is the ability to travel through time, and that's the reason why we've decided to explore into this world. But the temporal vortex, a paradox in itself, is the only thing that our sensors could detect. We're using this world, as a Middle Ground for now. And as we do, we have 'excavators', hired by our private company 'Sector' and in association with the UMNN, to both either help with the excavation or to explore the world and document it.[/color] 

[color=rgb(0,102,255);]=====[/color]

 

[color=rgb(0,102,255);]Welcome to Middleground Frontier! Inspired from a long video a friend of mine made about 1 1/2 years back, this role playing game takes place some time [Left open to player choice] after the regrouping of Spherus Magna by Mata Nui - it follows the canon story right up to Mata Nui winning. During this timeskip, technology has advanced severely thanks to plans from the great beings, though they're no longer creating gigantic robots and stuff.[/color] HISTORY AND BACKGROUND [color=rgb(0,102,255);]Glatorians, Agori, etc. are all living together. There are several cities, and it is common to find matoran, agori, Toa, Glatorian, Rahi and much more of that villages 'element' - but now, there is little to no adventure left in Spherus Magna. Toa and Glatorian of water have sailed the great seas that was once Aqua Magna, Those familiar with the great deserts and beckoning mountains have explored them until there is no cave, canyon, nook and ranny they haven't seen. The poles have been found by Toa of Ice and Glatorian of Ice respectively. Jungles have been visited until every temple to the great beings have been searched thoroughly.[/color] [color=rgb(0,102,255);]During this time, the world was civilized. Technology left behind along with that which the matoran already knew, and resources from both super-robots, allowed them to quickly create great cities and structures, thanks to the easily gathered resources by the Toa. Each city spread out it's area to form a state, claiming land and creating borders. Despite that, there was no war for land; resources were easily gathered, and everybody lived in peace due to the many peace treaties and visits that existed - tension rose here and there, but never was there a threat of war. Fights broke out at times against the Skrall, Bone Hunters, and certain remnants of evil organizations in the MU, but these were easily resolved with the addition of a system known as 'Jail'. The Toa Nuva eventually turned into Turaga, each of them voted to lead their villages due to their experience from their adventures, with Glatorian, Matoran and Agorian advisors and community members forming into a council. (Note: Go ahead, create a character in the council. You'll have to play his part, though.)[/color] [color=rgb(0,102,255);]And as they finished understanding the planet they were on, they found no traces of the Great Beings.[/color] [color=rgb(0,102,255);]They found no traces of the Toa Mahri, either, until they suddenly returned, having aged just about nothing at all since when they exited the MU following the monstrosity of a destiny-induced thing. They stated their story, how they had somehow been teleported into another world, one apparently in-accessible by the  Kanohi Olmak as it was 'neither here nor there'. They did say that they found traces of the Great Beings, as if they had ventured into the same Frontier that the big monstrosity had brought them to, and that it was thanks to their machines that they managed to get out - after a long long time. And after that, even longer exploration, during which they found that their elemental powers were much harder to conjure than normal and that their masks were just as hard to use. [/color] [color=rgb(0,102,255);]Slowly, they managed to improve upon their skills until they finally got to the point where they were about as strong as they were when they first turned into Toa Mahri. Then, they found what looked to be the exit: A big machine of obvious Great Being origin, their markings scrubbed all over the walls. It was there that they learned the most of the world, and there that they managed to, as they explained 'Jolt themselves back into our world'.[/color] [color=rgb(0,102,255);]They woke up back in the temple the monstrous destiny thing had found them in, except the monstrous thing's body was still there; it was evident that theirs had been there for years, not needing sustenance, as if every cell in their body had simply stopped functioning, going to sleep mode until for when they would come back. They decided to adhere to the code and keep the monstrous being alive, but as they moved to try and lift him and move him, the being suddenly left contact of an repeating icon on the walls. His body slumped, and they found him lifeless, despite only having a heartbeat just a second ago.[/color] [color=#0066cc;]The nations, who had united to become the 'United Mata Nui Nation', instantly responded, heading back to the temple - something they found confusing, as they had failed to find it during the original mapping (Note: This will be explained in-game when the plot thickens). First they ventured into the world, where every Toa who entered had their elemental powers reduced to much harder to conjure than if they had only recently turned into Toa. The Toa Mahri, who were required for the expedition, retained their trained elements, and they also proved to have much improved endurance in the 'real' world. They emerged from the spot where the exit was, and, thanks to technology that had already been found on Spherus Magna, they were able to analyze and replicate the 'exit' all over this newly discovered world. Soon, the UMNN quickly formed 'Sector', a private para-military company whose scientists worked on the tech for transporting to and from the other world, which Turaga Tahu named it 'Middleground', as one of the best uses he found for it was to be used as a middle ground for any tensions between cities. Sector was led by the Toa Mahri, each working in 1 of the 6 cities bases, and Sector hired many scientists and workers (Who each swore to secrecy) to work on Middleground, and eventually managed to create a 'modernized' version of the transportation system, which they installed into their own headquarters, which was built underneath each city's main government headquarters. Takanuva, after all the events, remained a Toa, and became operative director of Sector. Around a decade or so later, the Toa Mahri now operate much less in Middleground; as they were the strongest Toa in Middleground, and possibly the strongest Toa in the world (Apart from Turaga Tahu, who still maintains all the Rahkshi powers he gained from the Mask of Life and golden armor and can utilize them as he wish no matter where he is), they managed to create a town-sized base in Middleground (The exact properties of which will be explained, again, mid-plot) where Sector's workers would enter Middleground, and then utilize the teleportation system to head around the world, exploring, excavating, looking for ruins. (So, yes. This game is about exploring, and, er....if you 'explore' well in enough, it'll be pretty easy for you to contribute to the plot.) But there are threats. When the Toa Mahri cut off the Fusion, and also escaped the Zyglak, Vortixx and Skakdi (Purely due to the fact that at that point in time, most of them were so under control that you could call them cool dudes, as the Fusion is a sentient being who only knows how to fulfill his destiny), they didn't realize that the device that had managed to jolt them out of the Fusion's mental hold was also a Great Being machine that, apart from 'resetting' could also 'duplicate'. So the Fusion, whose Destiny was still on the verge of being fulfilled, a bunch of Skakdi, Vortixx and Zyglak were, suddenly, cloned. The only problem: They existed differently in Middleground than in the real world. So when they were cloned......One could say that......there was a slight increase in mutation....and a big increase in idiocy. The mutations continued after the Mahri left, and soon, only the original Fusion was left still retaining his previous psyche and physique. Meanwhile, Middleground was slowly populated by these crazy mutations until they were self populating, almost to the point of weird. Each mutation was different than the other, and in turn formed species'. They continuously ravage visitors to Middleground, and Sector agents constantly fight them. To this end, there is an entire part of the job called guard, whose jobs were simply to fight and protect. Hard, considering the lack of elemental powers. (Guess you'd better start training! Don't worry, you're allowed to improve as you go. Not to the point of amazingness, though)And....then there are THOSE guys. [/color]FACTIONS[color=#0066cc;] Sector was one faction operating in Middleground. They excavate, searching, exploring, generally just trying to gather data for the world. It was them who found the temporal vortex in the middle, and hypothesized that the Great Beings might've gone through that hole once, instead of all perishing due to their planet splitting, and partly believed them to have entered due to their thirst for knowledge. Then there was the faction of Lumin, a faction who somehow have the same, if not better, transportation devices to and from Middleground and the cities. They live everywhere, and don't need to head to Sector bases to enter Middleground. Sector would very happily destroy the Lumin, except that most Lumin, when entering Middleground, could hide their identity well, and that Sector didn't have a way of checking identities in Middleground. Leader unknown, it isn't uncommon that they enter Sector's Middleground headquarters, which acts very similar to a small town and even city, and stay there like they work at Sector. Again, Sector doesn't have technology that allows them to detect the exact people who enter. Sector don't know their purpose for entering Middleground, but focus their efforts more on the below, as they do know that whatever it is, Lumin wants to reach the Temporal Vortex just as much, if not more than Sector does. Both groups know that it is suicide to simply drill down, as you lacked the powers, and if you didn't melt on the way down the Temporal Vortex would just scatter your body into infinitesimal pieces and send them all across the space-time continuum. It is known that, like Sector, they explore, but they constantly refuse any 'alliance' with Sector, working as an external group from the UMNN and generally causing the government trouble - that would be like a group of people running around claiming they were the police force and actually fighting criminals, all the while harboring experimental technology from the government. It's......wrong. And finally there was the faction of Memtis, a renegade group of fanatics who feel like they should just leave Middleground alone. Leader unknown, but he is the one who specifically selects each member, converting them into his point of view and setting them to wreck havoc against Sector's and Lumin's explorative efforts. They constantly test on the mutated animals who live in Middleground, and nearly all of them have the will to kill others in Middleground, although it is rare that this actually happens as both Sector and Lumin have good fighters, Sector to protect their scientists and Lumin to protect themselves. Like Lumin, Memtis-based people can pass themselves off as anyone in Middleground; until they start blowing stuff up. And of course, there's the issue of people who would like to exit their faction or somehow in some way have the ability to enter Middleground, and create your own faction. Or, if you're already in one of the big 3 factions, you could also create teams which you would explore Middleground alongside others in your faction.   So, I got that out of the way. Now......Gameplay stuff. [/color][color=#000000;]GAMEPLAY STUFF[/color][color=#0066cc;] Rules:-All BZP rules apply. All Bionicle RPG forum rules apply.-No auto-hitting, god-modding, etc. things that make RPing unfair for others without them cheating as well. [Respectful auto-hitting can be expected, but must not be super-severe. Planned auto-hitting must be stated, please.]-RPing NPC's are allowed, but keeping your own are not.-Suicide of one of your characters are not allowed. This is punishable by character death.-Post with proper grammar and spelling (Or as good as you can)-No spamming.-No creation of characters of groups with a purpose meant to cause annoyance-RPing the mutated descendants of the Zyglak, Skakdi, Vortixx and Fusion clones are allowed so long as they are not unrealistic. The mutation can be used as an 'excuse' for custom 'animal' NPCs, but they must be RP'd in a post meant for your character.-Creating characters not related to the big 3 factions of Middleground require good explanation as to how they can enter Middleground.-All characters need approval before being allowed to play.-Exploration of Spherus Magna just about does not exist in this game. Instead, much of the exploration exists in Middleground, and you should RP as such. You can request to RP Spherus Magnan cities, but you must have a really good reason why.  Character Profile: Name: Race: (Toa, Matoran, Glatorian, Agori, Turaga, Other/Custom races) Gender:Powers: (Consists of Kanohi, element, other/custom powers)Weapons: (If a weapon is utilized alongside/basis of a power, specify in both Power and Weapons) Personality:  Biography/History: Appearance:  Weakness: (Must require a physical weakness)  Gameplay guidelines: 1. Try to, every 'night' to return to the real world to at least make a post where you retire for the night. It might be one sentence or one post, but make note that you left Middleground, went home and slept. Time exists in Middleground but you wouldn't sleep in it the same way you might not sleep at your work office. (The only time you might not do it is if circumstances do not permit, IE you're about to get blown up by a mutant chicken-like lifeform who can spit fire and blow poison) 2. Don't reveal to NPC's who don't know about Middleground, or create a character who doesn't enter Middleground for that matter. I mean, would you go around saying that the UN was hiding from the citizens an entire world trapped between space time and mumbo jumbo and that they are exploring it? No. If you're part of Sector, it's a death sentence. If you're part of Lumin, nobody will believe you. If you're part of Memtis, chances are you never really talk to other people. 3. Fill in the map! Fill in the world! This world doesn't just ask you to be explored, it asks you to be made. On the edges of the map the borders haven't been found yet. Fill it up! Role play it! [/color] 

[color=#0066cc;]Map coming soon.[/color]

[color=#0066cc;] Help and stuff: -Styles of role playing: This game is meant to be a plot-based adventure/exploration game. It is recommended you have at least one character who has physical abilities to help with the exploring. -What you explore: Not everything is a success. In the end, you're looking for information on the Temporal Vortex, and on the Great Beings. If you RP well, you'll be rewarded accordingly. (More stuff that people might need help with to be included).     Now, uh...... Is anyone interested in helping staff this if I, like, win?[/color]


Edited by JL v2, Mar 11 2013 - 09:39 AM.

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BZPRPG Profiles 2013


#678 Offline Simon the Digger

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Posted Mar 11 2013 - 02:01 PM

Taking a loook here, JL, I spot multiple issues.

 

First of all, the intro. It's disjointed, and bizarre. You start out with a one paragraph in-game, for lack of  a better word, intro, and then switch to a more summary based perspective. But even then you're jumping in with comments all over the place, and disrupting the overall narrative with pieces of information that are either irrelevant, or would be better suited for explanation further down.

 

And then we come to the biggest issue. The backstory itself. I'll start with the broad issues first.

 

[font="helvetica, arial, sans-serif;color:rgb(0,102,255);"]They found no traces of the Toa Mahri, either, until they suddenly returned, having aged just about nothing at all since when they exited the MU following the monstrosity of a destiny-induced thing. They stated their story, how they had somehow been teleported into another world, one apparently in-accessible by the  Kanohi Olmak as it was 'neither here nor there'. They did say that they found traces of the Great Beings, as if they had ventured into the same Frontier that the big monstrosity had brought them to, and that it was thanks to their machines that they managed to get out - after a long long time. And after that, even longer exploration, during which they found that their elemental powers were much harder to conjure than normal and that their masks were just as hard to use. [/font]

 

What the- Where did that come from? The Mahri being missing might have been something to mention in the actual history outline of the game, because as it stands, you basically went "So, here's the history stuff. Pretty standard. Oh yeah, and the Mahri returned from fighting a big monster thing after years of being missing." It's very sudden, when one considers that even though they've been gone a long time, their disappearance wasn't mentioned in the summary.

 

And, you do it a second time too.

 

But there are threats. When the Toa Mahri cut off the Fusion, and also escaped the Zyglak, Vortixx and Skakdi (Purely due to the fact that at that point in time, most of them were so under control that you could call them cool dudes, as the Fusion is a sentient being who only knows how to fulfill his destiny), they didn't realize that the device that had managed to jolt them out of the Fusion's mental hold was also a Great Being machine that, apart from 'resetting' could also 'duplicate'.

 

Um, what. Fusion? Vortixx? Zyglak? Skakdi? Some of this gets a bit more clarification later on, but as it stands, most of it makes no sense, and just seems thrown in.

 

But besides the technicalities of the fiction writing, there are some issues with the story. Namely, the fact that the authorities seem to have collectively lost their wits. "Big, unexplored place where the Toa went missing for years. Let's totally form a completely secret organization, employ lots of people, and explore it. That's a great idea."

 

First of all, there is no way it would remain secret. That many people, and no one has told anyone anything? And no one finds it suspicious that so many people go to work every day, but never talk about what it is? And clearly it can't be too secret, if there's an entire group that the government knows nothing about operating in there. Actually wait, it's two. And next, doesn't anyone have any shred of common sense? You know, maybe people should know about the potentially dangerous science stuff going on? Or maybe they'd have a better flow of ideas, if all their scientists weren't sworn to absolute secrecy?Or perhaps the military out to know about what happened with the big-destiny-monster-thing that never actually got any explanation?

 

I'm sure I'll think of some other points later, but for now, I'll move on to the rest. Factions are pretty standard, except you don't give us anything to work with for two thirds of them. Basically, it was a longwinded way of saying "No one knows", even though the way you described them means that the characters must know something. 

 

Rules... Pretty standard, save a bit of irony, and the rule about no character suicide. I'll just come out and say it; Why? If people want to get rid of a character, and they don't want them to just go inactive, why can't they just have them die in a freak accident, or perform a sacrifice to stop the monster, or something? Heck, why is this even a rule? Actual character suicide has occurred maybe once in the entire time I've been on this forum. And even if it were rampant, how does character death even make any sense as a punishment? And why can't we explore Spherus Magna? Why can't we explore the world that our characters actually live in?And the guidelines. You know having a character go home when you go to bed makes no sense, right? There's a reason other games don't do it. It A. ruins interaction flow, B. invokes all sorts of time related dilemmas that no one wants to deal with, and C. just makes the issue with time zones worse. I've already covered the secrecy issue up above. 

 

Overall, a lot of this seems to really limit what characters can be created, and how they can perform in society. And you've basically made it so you're either in a faction, or you don't explore Middleground, and oh wait. You can't make a civilian anyway.


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#679 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Apr 01 2013 - 03:35 PM

So, now that the contest is over, I am starting to think up ideas for my next submission. Here are the three I have so far. Please tell me which you like the most.

 

A) A revamp of my entry for the 27th contest, 'We Live. For Now.' For those of you that don't know, it it about people trying to survive in a post apocalyptic Spherus Magna. If you want this, I will need suggestions on how to improve it.

B ) A classic, plain old fighting RPG. The plot would be that the whole battle is a digital military training exercise. The battlefield would be a large island divided up into nine parts. One for each Wahi on Mata Nui, a swamp based one, and two bases for the two fighting sides.

C) A game set in a slightly different version of the Matoran Civil War. Basically, the tech level is much greater. There would be the Po-Le-Ko, Ta-Onu-Ga and a Turaga loyalist faction. NOTE: Only Matoran would be playable at first, and TOA would become a reward for good behavior.

 

Which of these three would you want to play the most?


Edited by Canis Lupus, Jun 14 2013 - 05:29 PM.

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#680 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Apr 01 2013 - 03:42 PM

[font="'Bookman Old Style';font-size:14px;"]C) A game set in a slightly different version of the Matoran Civil War. Basically, when the Makuta tried to stop the war, the two sides briefly united and defeated the Makuta. The RPG would be set 1,600 years after that, and technology has advanced greatly. There would be a neutral, loyalist to the Turaga side as well, that uses exo suits in the shape of Vahki. NOTE: Only Matoran would be playable in this RPG at first. Toa would be a reward for good behavior.[/font]

 

This sounds interesting, but I'm a tad confused - how do a bunch of Matoran defeat the Makuta Teridax, his Rahi servitors, and an uncounted number of Rahkshi and the like? He could kill a small horde of them just using his gravity powers alone. Even if they did, how would they handle the wrath of the entire Brotherhood that would follow?

 

Why not just set the RPG during the Civil War proper? 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


Edited by Toa Levacius Zehvor, Apr 01 2013 - 03:43 PM.

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