Kaleidoscope Tekulo

Wow... Just like Garfield, Pokemon hate Mondays...

... (I swear, I am so changing my avatar because of this game... XDD)I really like her mane! ^^

5/5 Sorry for bro-hoofing you in the eye that one time (if I remember correctly, I think that was you XD).

You are the first person to realize that, battleaxe Chef!

Not a bad story. I like the idea behind three toa being the last defense against a virus infecting the island. Though, I think there are some elements here that could be better utilized. Earlier when Dar reasons that leaving the island could spread the virus, I almost wanted to see that as a dispute among the three toa. Instead of Kota and Rania just agreeing with each other, it might better develop their characters if they went more in depth of their options and their consequences. Also, you mentioned that three toa had already been taken from the virus. I thought it would be interesting if maybe they had to fight against one of them? Of course this is your story, but it's just a thought.Also, I think the characters' actions weren't as natural as they should have been. When the matoran fell to their deaths, I was expecting a little hint or a nudge to some guilt that they had killed the ones they were supposed to protect. I wasn't getting too much of that. Also, Dar was the one who was opposed to going into the nest, but then he suddenly takes charge and refuses to retreat later in the story. Why the change of heart? For future stories, I'd suggest focusing more on the characters and trying to understand them a bit more, or to help the reader understand them more. After all, we don't know these characters or their past, so we have to go off of what you give us (it's something to keep in mind when using original characters especially).I loved the way you ended this. It really makes you wonder if Kota really found the cure, or if it would work on toa, or even if Dar infects Kota and Rania before they're able to cure him. You left it open and I really like that. ^^ Good luck!

The eye stares into my soul and taunts me as I slowly drift into the insane lament... O.o

He also said "Nope" in Lesson Zero. How could you guys forget? He doubled his vocabulary in one single line! He deserves an Oscar... Err... a Pony for that. XDAnd your banner made me laugh, OmiShad. ^^

YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!-cough-

(Actually, that's Rarity, not Twilight. XP)Dude... stuff just got real! O.o

Hmm... Kraggh, your version of death sounds interesting. Kinda reminds me of the original Little Mermaid story (where she tries to win an immortal soul), only I'm assuming death will go about this a bit differently? ^^;And now I'm on the same page with how you used to portray death (gotta love examples. XP). Of course, I'm not planning on personifying death any time soon. But it would make an interesting story if death tried to have a family, and then had to rob them of their lives. Hmm... What if he jumped from family to family and developed a strange, almost psychotic habit about it? O.o That would be so creepy... Would he attend the funeral?Meh, it might make an interesting short story (though, it's probably been done. XP)

Hmm... a toa of baking does sound pretty sweet. Doesn't need to be a girl, either (I made a pretty sweet Lewa cake, thank you very much. ^^).Kinda like Toa of Muffins... It's been forever since I've used those sprites. XDAnyway, thanks for telling which story it is, I'll be sure to check it out (anything with Lariska is good in my book. XD).

Ever read "Godfather Death" by the Brothers Grimm? If I were to ever personify death in a story or in my mind, he'd probably be like that. The story isn't about death conning anyone or being evil, and it's not really him just doing his job either. Death actually seems to fit right in that story; he's a force of nature and he's actually pretty wise. He actually gives good fortune to his godson and even cautions him about how to use his fortune in life. He actually seems to care for someone as opposed to just being evil or as opposed to just doing a job, and I like that angle of death. It made the ending all the more sad for me, even though it didn't seem to be a sad story. (I like tragic stories. They're just so beautiful. ^^).

Depends, is it a car horn or bike horn? 4/5

Hmm... Don't recognize the username, but the avatar is ringing a bell... The bell needs to be tuned. O.o4/5

Dark, disturbing and distant... Cool! ^^

@Bite My Shiny Metal Armour: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. ^^ Normally I don't like using canon characters. I normally like to take concepts that could be expanded on that the canon story really doesn't utilize for stories (in and outside of Bionicle). I noticed there was never really much character development of the matoran leaving their home on Mata Nui in order to go to Metru Nui, so I've had this idea for a while. The contest was just the right catalyst to finally get around to writing it. Originally I had planned on incorporating Nixie and a scene where Macku catches Hewkii before he left. Of course, when I started writing this one for the contest, those two snippets moved to the wayside (in order to fit with the rest of the story). I'm glad you think this was relateable, as that was my goal for my readers. ^^And yes, I love the Chronicler's Company as well. =D@Zarohum: Thanks so much! I'm really glad you liked the story (even if you are tired and grumpy XD). ^^Thanks to everyone who commented! Really, getting feedback of any kind always makes my day. ^^

The song was good, but the very last part when they sang "May the best pet win" was my favorite part of the song. ^^

I liked this one. I personally love matoran characters, and I love seeing matoran heroes all the more. It's one of the reasons I loved 2006 so much. ^^This was actually the title in the contest that I feared the most. I'm not too good with action sequences myself and I prefer internal conflicts. I really loved the first paragraph to this. It was very descriptive and really set a nice tone. That really helped when you got to describing the war that broke out among the matoran and bohrok. The one thing I don't like so much is the descriptions of the battling. I mean, I like how you're showing us how the matoran are fighting, but for whatever reason I didn't find it to be as exciting as the descriptive style in the beginning. I enjoyed Kopaka's mentality, and you really brought it full circle at the end. The only thing that struck me as odd was that Kopaka mentioned the Matoran (ko-matoran) might prefer to be left alone as he is left alone, yet the matoran were unified with another koro. Of course, I see this as a double-meaning. The matoran unified amongst themselves as Kopaka found commonality among his own element (and I really like that angle). I wish that could be hinted at a little more, but that's still what I got from this story (I'm not sure if that's what you were going for though. ^^')Overall, I did enjoy this story a lot! Good luck! ^^

A satire of fantasy? Now that sounds like an entertaining read! ^^I'll have to check that out!

Death in a story? My mind immediately moves to Beowulf. Well, that and the ghost of Christmas yet to come (even if he wasn't technically death, he was still very much in tune with that mentality, I thought).Hmm... Normally I leave those things (forces of nature) to symbolism as opposed to personification. Though, personification is still interesting.Anyway, I mentioned this topic to a friend of mine elsewhere. She said it's helped her get out of a few problems she's had with writing so far. Not really a subject for discussion, but I thought it was noteworthy. ^^

Hmm... You know, I've heard nothing but good things from Past Sins... That's just too creepy. Let's reflect: I'm actually considering reading a fanfiction (not a canon story, mind you) about girly ponies that has been called heartwarmingly adorable and nearly brings people to tears... ......Sounds fun! =DAnyway, I didn't see Derpy in the new episode, but I heard she was supposed to be a chicken or something? I kept my eyes out for her, but I didn't catch her... =/ Was she really in it?And that is why Twilight could never be RainbowDash's pet. XDEdit: Nevermind! I saw Derpy. XD She only appears for a second, so that's why I missed her.

Pfft, what are you talking about? The Suletu, man. ^///^ XDD Though, I'm not a fan of Hewkii's mask at all... Glad that changed as a Mahri. (Though, Kongu should have kept the Suletu... I mean, he should have just kept his Inika form in general)Back on topic -cough-Yeah, I agree with you there, Alyska. Nikila is actually a character I'm very curious about. I know she was good friends with Lessovik, I know she was good with tactics... I know little else, yet her character still appeals to me. I'd love to see more of her (and it would help me loads with a project I'm working on. XP).I don't really remember a Nidhiki/Lariska moment. Do you remember the book/story it's from by any chance?

Get used to those two things. They come back a lot. ;D