Zaxvo

And I've reviewed Defiance. Feel free to toss any of those extra stories over to me Velox.

Hey, Zaxvo here from the SSCC!I want to start off by saying that this is a really great short story. Your focus on Onua leads to some pretty great character development, moreso than LEGO was able to pull off. Well done. I liked the post-apocalyptic style world, that sort of theme is a great fit for Teridax's reign. Also, the way you threw in "Reign of Shadows" was well done. Lastly, you have a the ability to churn out motivational speeches...a lot of the dialogue in here was great; I could see it being in a movie and turning into an internet meme like Aragorn's "But that day is not this day" speech from LotR. So overall well done.Some constructive criticism...you have a love of numbers. I don't really need the full breakdown of how many Rahkshi were there, how many Skakdi, etc. It breaks up the flow of the story. I think the worst example of this is Also, while I enjoyed the battle sequence, the whole line about the nova blast was out of place. One does not simply activate a Nova Blast; it's a powerful weapon that requires much concentration. And its result is too casually given...Onua just killed more than 500 beings, and you jsut shrugged and mentioned it in passing. And given the usual concentration of people in a battle, I doubt Onua would have activated it unless he knew he was the last man.My suggestion is that he realizes he's the last one left, sets off the Nova Blast, and then is too weak to put up much of a fight against the remaining army. Or that one Nova blast destroys the army and he escapes, but if you go that route you have to explain why the Toa didn't simply send out only one Toa to destroy the army in the first place. Overall, this was a great story. My only suggestions are that you remove some of those extensive lists and maybe give the Nova blast a little more significance.

Well, I don't know where Cap'n K is/if he's got a review that simply hasn't been posted, but I went ahead and filled in for him. Here you go.

Hi there! Zaxvo here from the SSCC, for an overdue review. I really enjoyed this. What with BZP being down, Bionicle ending, and school taking up more of my time, the plot worked better than it should have, I don't remember much anymore, so I was wracking my brain, trying to counter Teridax's arguments. It was really engaging and well written overall, and once the premise of the plot was fully obvious, I was able to really enjoy the story. Well done. As for characters, you're not really working with any original characters, and you only really delved into Teridax's character, which is fine. I don't really know why there's that break at the beginning of the story; it's really unnecessary and it might even flow better without it. I liked the nods you gave the new serials; it worked well to establish the full concept of the plot. Overall, this is a brilliant story because you took an established villan from an epic that needed 10 years to be fully told, and managed to justify the worst of his crimes. I guess that's really the beauty of this saga we all adore and enjoy. I'm sorry I can't fully appreciate the finer details of the plot: like I said, many of the small details and even some of the more general plot points have been relegated to a far corner of my mind, and this story has been a great inspiration for me to get back into the legend of BIONICLE.

So let's say I make a comic...could I present it as an animated .gif? Just wondering.

I've also logged into the community a few times, if anyone would like to race.And it would be interesting to play a mairo kart with everything they've ever done...perhaps for a mario kart 25 years thing?EDIT: I just had a match against someone named RACER#1...whoever that was, good game! ...but we agreed on no wuhu island/maka wuhu glitch. >.>

Is explicitly stated that the great being must not have been mind-wiped? What if the GB was one of the metrutoran who simply hid the fact that he/she didn't lose his/her memories?Because if the GB was Kapura, then, you know, Greg could finally get around to explaining his behavior in MNOLG. (As BS01 puts it: "Through the Turaga's wisdom and much practice, Kapura learned the secret art of traveling very quickly by moving very slowly and concentrating on the place where he wanted to go.")But if GB can't override whatever the Matoran sphere did (or resist it in the first place: it's GB. His/her power is untold), well then, I think Velika is a good guess.

Very impressive...It all just flows.How exactly do the wings fold up? And the .gifs weren't too clear, what do the functions consist of?

Wow. This is beautiful. It flows well, it looks good, and...wow. Amazing. this is real art. Well done.A few notes, though. First, the nose piece isn't the same shade of blue. The entire head is metru blue, and then there's one piece that's mata blue. That stands out like a sore thumb (or nose lol). I noticed some mata blue in other places, notably the hips, but it stood out the most on the nose. Other thing is that I couldn't quite make out any eyes. The horns light up, correct? So where are the eyes? I might have seen them, but if so, then they were yellow/orange/gold, which just looks like it's more of the gold plating that runs down the spine.Other thing is on the full-body shots, the highlights are blown out. I wasn't able to make out any details on the white parts of the dragon on the large scale shots. Once you zoomed in to the head/neck it was fine, but otherwise, not really. What kind of camera are you using?Oh, and both the jaw and the end of the tail are absolutely gorgeous. Just sayin'

Wow. Well done. Quite honestly, I saw the takadox armor and thought that they were good representations of the claws, but then I noticed the inner claw. Well done. And the takadox head is used quite nicely, it lends a slightly foolish, adorable look to the whole thing. Nice :-)To make it more lobster-ish, I'd suggest adding a tail. Other than that though, well done indeed.

For those wondering, the powerpoint stuff comes from a couple of posts bonesiii put up back on the old forums. They still exist on his current blog though, and here they are: part 1 part 2 drawing guide.As for the drawing, the updated version looks much better than the first; it's actually really accurate. My only criticism is that it's flat: maybe play around with the shading to try and get a 3D-looking one? Overall, though, well done.

Well done indeed...the colors are excellent, it looks great, and overall it just flows. A few things before I go, however. I know you said you based it on an Ox, and that's fine, but the legs are still really skinny. When I first saw them, I was surprised they even held up. My suggestion is that you bulk them up, even if only a little bit.The other thing, and this is just nitpicky of me, is that I would've preferred it if you didn't cut the pieces. To me, the entire allure of MOCing and of looking at others' MOCs is that we all have the same pieces, the same components, to work with. Once you cut a piece, it's almost like cheating. (Not that I'm saying you're cheating...cutting is fine, for your purposes.) IMO it would've been nicer if you came up with a creative solution, but I'm sure you tried. (I hate that: when you try everything and it just. doesn't. work.) Very nice job anyhow, it's a great creation. Oh, and a quick comment about your pictures: they're not that dull, but if you want to improve them I'd suggest not using a window as a backdrop. Get a piece of paper or something else white, set it up next to the window, so that windows works as a light source, and maybe grab a desk lamp to brighten those photos. What camera did you use?

Congratulations 55 and DeeVee! Those were two excellent MOCs.

Wow. Just...wow. I liked this A LOT. The Pride/Envy thing and the Anger/Lust and finally Fear was very well done. A few comments. While I enjoyed the personification of those elements, I think it would've been more...interesting (?) if you went all the way and included the full list of the seven deadly sins (you're missing greed, sloth, and gluttony, if you translate "Wrath" as "Anger"). I don't think you had to bring in all seven, but it would have made your personification more effective. Also, his method of suicide is...disturbingly convenient. Do all Toa carry these things? Why would they? And if they all had it, why would those who searched him forget about it? Personally, he's got full control of the element of Iron. He can use that. That's how I would have ended it. Maybe he pierces himself through the throat. Maybe he hangs himself by standing on a block of iron that spontaneously vanishes. Maybe, maybe, maybe -- you're only limited by your imagination.Overall, well done indeed. I quite enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest!

This is an awesome idea... restricting genres makes it especially enticing. Your comment about fanfics implies that Bionicle fanfics are allowed. Is that correct? Also, there are a couple of holidays that don't occur at the same time every year, because they are built on non-Gregorian calendars (examples: Chinese New Year, Eid, etc.). So, sometimes they happen around the holiday season, other times they don't. Are those allowed?

Oh yay. I've been eagerly waiting for one of these ever since the forum went down; I found that I was lacking inspiration without a contest to direct me. I will eagerly be entering this one. So if it showed up in a comic published by DC, then it's fair game? Does that include the BIONICLE comics? (I doubt it, but I might as well ask... ) Thanks!

In 2006 the BIONICLE comics rebooted with a new umbrella name "Ignition". As you may recall, the first comic was "Comic 0" and wasn't really a comic, it was an interview with Stuart Sayger. BS01 lists it as a comic and titles it "Ignition"...is that title fair game?This is a really great theme; I certainly plan on entering. Now to scour the title list for some inspiration...Also, are the titles of the graphic novels allowed? What about the comics that were newly done for those graphic novels? The McDonald comics? Thanks!

What exactly is their purpose? I never got a chance to see this in person.

Your photography skills might not be on the pro-level, but they're enough that your MOCs look excellent. Boots are a subjective thing, but the bohrok plate...I read your response and I could not believe it. That, good sir, is MOCing at its very best.

There are a couple of important guidelines to building and showing off a good MOC here on BZP (or anywhere online; MOCs in person are harder). Bolded sentences are the main points. Read the paragraphs for more detail. It all boils down to what looks good and what does not. MOCing is a subjective art, just like any other art, but there are a few things that I think can be agreed are widely agreed upon as important. Know your Parts. Take a look at this MOC (ToM Dracone's "Chloros"). Notice how there's a recurring motif of ridges on the parts? Take a look at the Metru leg used on the feet, and compare those notches to the ones found on the Metru armor on the leg, to the piece used on the thighs, to the bits used as barrels for the gun, to the Metru armor on the shoulder, even to the base of the antennae. A similar pattern makes the pieces used look like they belong together, even if they were designed years apart. Using a technique like this means that you have to KNOW your parts well, and that comes from practice. Lots of practice. "Custom" matter less than aesthetics. MOCing is about looking good, and it matter less how do it than if you actually do it. Take a look at this MOC. That's built on an Inika body, and features little custom. It still looks supremely awesome. It still looks MUCH better than either of these two MOCs, both with custom bodies (both mine lol). With that said, custom builds do tend to come about as a result of knowing your pieces well, and knowing how parts fit together. Choose your Colors Wisely. I would say that in terms of BIONICLE, there are 2 "base" or "primary" colors: Black and White. Grey is sort of the in-between that can be used even under those. What do I mean? You can layer pretty much any other color on top of those and it will look half-decent, regardless of build quality. Think about it. I'm not going to point at any MOC in particular; pick pretty much anything from the galleries I link below and you'll see what I mean. Standard combinations include Gold/Black, Gold/White, Blue/Black, Blue/White, Green/Black, Red/White, etc. Note that Black and White can be used as "main" colors, but when those two are combined in one creation, you will run into other problems on the photography side of things. Also note that your base does not have to be black OR white; as long as you stay consistent and it looks good, your base can be, for example, red, accented with black. Choose colors that look well together. The problems is, "look well" is a subjective term. It's all on you to make a color combination work. Usually shades of colors go well with each other, such as Red/Orange, Mata Blue/Sand Blue, Mata Green/Lime Green, Brown/Tan. Limit the amount of colors you use. I mentioned above that grey is almost more fundamental than Black or White, and that's because, if used well, you can layer a MOC so the "skeleton" is grey, above that is black/white, and above that is your chosen color. At the same time, if you are planning on accenting your chosen color with something else, count 'em, there are then 4 colors on the MOC. That leads to a lot of competition and your MOC will look way too busy. When accenting, there is too much of a good thing. Let's say you've got your base color and a couple of secondary colors. In this example, our base is grey and our secondary colors would be black and white. The accents (i.e. the eyes) are the only bits of red on the MOC. If there were bits of red sprinkled throughout -- a habit I used to fall into when I was younger -- then the MOC becomes too busy, too messy, for it to look coherent. In this example, the base is black, the secondaries are keetorange and grey. The accents are green, but the green only shows up in places where it makes sense. Long story short, keep your MOC to 4 colors or less, and when you have 4 colors, use the fourth sparingly. Now, you can put together a great MOC, but if I can't see it properly, well, then it's not that great after all. Your photography is extremely important. It's the only way people are going to see the creation you want to show off. Pick almost any MOC from the galleries below, or from the gallery of any really strong MOCist, and you'll see that the pictures are quite minimalist. There aren't any household stuffs in the background; usually the background is one solid color. And that color tends to be the color NOT used as the base color (i.e. if the base is white, then the background is black, like this, and if the base is black, then the background is white, like this.). Hiding flaws is good. Go back and look at that second poorly done custom body MOC (the white one way up near the top, in the section about custom builds). I hid that horrible body with a cloak. Better, but now there's no detail. Take a look at this gallery. Notice how there are no shots of what's going on inside the top portion? That's because if you removed those plates of armor, it would look pretty ugly. So if you MOC looks bad from a certain angle, don't show that! When you are the photographer, and the pictures are the only way we're going to see the MOC, only show what you want to. Overall, you need three things: 1. Use your pieces wisely. Know them, and know them well. Know how they fit together, know what works and what doesn't. Know which ones look similar and which ones don't. Know them well enough, and custom builds (if that's what you want) will come naturally. 2. Use your colors wisely. Limit yourself to three main colors, accentuate with a forth SPARINGLY. If your third color is the accent, even better! (You should still use it sparingly though ) 3. Take good pictures. You can have the best MOC in the world, but if no one can see it properly, it won't matter. In addition, if the back of the creation doesn't look that good, you don't have to take a picture of it. ----- MOC Creds go to Brickeens (Brickshelf: "Brickeens" and "BrickeensBZP") and ToM Dracone (Brickshelf: "MuffinToa")

Wow. I am still shocked; this is so great there are many bits that I didn't notice at first, that's how absorbed I was with the overall look. I love the legs, they look really great and I can't...quite...figure out how they stay together. That's great engineering. Oh, and the use of minifig hands for teeth is genius. I love it. It totally looks like it was self assembled from random parts lying around, but at the same time, some part of me tells me that, logically speaking, it wouldn't really be symmetrical if it was thrown together from random bohrok parts. Meh, whatever. This works, and not only does it work, but it works well. If there was one thing I'd change, it's that grey bohrok limb. I'd make it solid black or lighter grey; it's the only piece of that color on the entire thing.

That is beautiful. Honestly, the visorak shells work better than I thought they should, and the fact that you managed to use them is commendable. Would you be able to give us a completely unedited picture? I'm not worried about the color, but it would be interesting to see more details of its construction.

There's also a "Return to Top of the Page" button at the bottom of every topic...it looks like a white triangle in a grey circle. I don't think the old forum had that, but I do miss the quick launch drop-down at the bottom of each page.

Also note the "light switch" in the top left corner. If your buttons are greyed out, click on it. It toggles the rich text editor with the BBCode editor. Or you could take the time to learn BBCode, I prefer it to the rich text editor. The wikipedia article is quite good. Also look at the archived version of the BBCode help topic, I don't see one up yet on the new board.

Overall, it looks really good, especially those feet. They're GLORIOUS. Also the upper arms are pretty nice. Lower arms are too thin though.