Brickeens

Aw, thank you guys so much. <3

I don't know how often I've mentioned this here, but if you follow me on tumblr you've probably heard me ranting about getting bad headaches every day. But hey hey hey, guess what? We finally know what causes them, and even better, how to fix them. It turns out the muscles down my neck and back have been badly screwed up (for a long time it seems) and have been restricting the blood supply to my head. So little wonder it's been so painful since forever. But even better, it's quite easily fixed. I've been given various exercises to stretch out the muscles and get the blood flowing properly. It's been about two weeks and the difference is huge. I have way less pain on a daily basis and life is generally easier to cope with. So how about that?

Duuuuude, it's so good to see your name again. It's been sad without anything from you. The build looks really promising, I'd love to see more pictures, especially more angles on the torso. Looks good.

cannot unsee

you still write my favourite entries squishy

I really need to see it.

So I've been thinking I should start sharing some music because of reasons. And if anybody's interested, you're more than welcome to recommend me anything, because I need new stuff to listen to and I'm terrible at finding music I like. This is the Pacific Rim theme by Ramin Djawadi, AKA the guy who did the glorious music for the first Iron Man film.

I never left. Unless not posting these entries means I'm not really here.

IT'S JANUARY ALREADY

The good: Worked on photography a lot and improved A close friend recovered from a rare form of cancer Doctors might be a little closer to finding out what's wrong with me The bad: Physical health has been declining since 2012 (which was the only year since 2009 where it was anywhere close to decent) and not being able to exercise properly is driving me insane Got nowhere fixing bad anxiety problems

@Tak: The name of the photograph or the type of mushroom? I know neither. @Obessionist: :V @Paleo: I googled "Nat Geo" and then felt stupid for not realising it was short for National Geographic. I imagine their contests would have some super serious competition though. I'd hardly stand a chance. @Sumiks: I had absolutely no idea anybody would like this that much, but well, I feel obligated to give you the unnecessarily big highest resolution possible 6016x4000 original (complete with horrifying amounts of grain).

So that's a tiny adorable little mushroom I found at the start of December. I wish the picture wasn't so dark, but the light was really poor and I had to shoot using very high ISO, and it was already so grainy I didn't want to go higher. I went back the next day when there was better light, but unfortunately the teensy thing had collapsed. I'm still quite fond of the picture even if it would have been greatly improved by better lighting conditions.

A mind and body that actually work properly seriously I've lost almost the last four years of my life to this and I'm still not improving and I'm not able to go to school or college or get a job or even do things I actually want to do like draw because my concentration is permanently poor and I feel like like a mental cripple how am I supposed to go on like this and I feel bad about making miserable entries like this all the time sorry

yes please

I guess that would be pretty awesome, except I think I'd make a really lame superhero. Do I save people with my superhuman ability to get sick for years at a time? Maybe my superpower could be inflicting the symptoms of my illness on bad people. Which would probably be a really bad idea, because it would just turn them into sad, jaded, cynical people who hate the world. Like me.

So, long story short, they still don't know what in the blazes is wrong with me. The less negative news is that they're not giving up here. They took more blood on Monday, and while I don't really understand what's going on they're doing DNA tests and looking for more metabolic problems that could be causing all the headaches, fatigue, nausea, and occasional muscular problems I have. What is there even left to say at this stage?

So I'm still going up for results on Monday, but today I got a letter from the hospital, and they want me back up there in January for an MRI scan. I have no idea why they've suddenly decided they want that done, but I'll find out soon I guess?

So remember how I was in hospital getting tests done like 7 weeks ago? I had an appointment on the 25th last month to go back up and see the specialist doctor person who would take us through the results (and hopefully give me a diagnosis or something) but that was delayed until the 9th of December, which is this day next week. So one more week. I really, really, really, really, really, hope they're going to be able to make a diagnosis and not just tell me they don't know what the problem is. Like every other time the last three (nearly four) years.

Sumiki I am disappoint you didn't even use my font color

Sooo who else is looking forward to seeing it?

The entire thing is adorable. <3