Railblazer

Um, let's see...the gag about the Matoran under 200 getting in free was probably best, but so was the dyslexic narrator. I wonder just how the play will go now...

Nice pun with the barrels. Of course, now I need to go back to the original and make sure Bob the Pirate (emoticon left out on purpose) did actually invade. And no, not quite what I meant, Matau.

You can get a degree for arguing with narrators? Which college is that, and can I attend?! Anyhow, I don't recall them having that much trouble with scripts last time...although I do remember BEC's trouble.

Chaos, confusion...I guess if your name is Vultraz, that's normal. And just why are so many people locked up?

Bionicle comes back...in Vietnam. I wish Kopaka would admit to being Pohatu's friend.

That's a long chapter... Anyhow, a play, eh? (ack, bad rhyme) I wonder if it will turn out better than the last one...

Let me guess--next chapter, Matau takes a look at those messages again. Short chapter? Well yeah, I guess so...curse you Bob the Pirate! Still a good chapter. That's a lot of threat messages...too bad he didn't look at any of them.

Hmmm...interesting. I don't remember all of the flashbacks in those chapters before. Must be new ones. And you're taking questions? Remind me to send some. Anyhow, the best part in this chapter was probably the "All the Metru have Mallets" part. That gives me an idea for a question...

Um...if there are four beds per room, wouldn't they only need 251? (assuming Roodaka and Sidorak have a room for themselves.) Anyhow, I can tell you've been updating chapters. Most of these came out originally before some of the mentioned additions.

Wish granted. I hope you live on Mars, because there's not much CO2 around here! I wish...Toa Hewkii was on our soccer team!

That looks very congruent to the old chapter...but that's just going off my memory, not actual comparison. I'm trying to find something critical to say about this chapter. Forgive my failure. The new jokes are present, though, and they are good.

Hey, another chapter. Nice work! Yes, why do you pick on Jaller so much? It makes no sense. And why is it that Jaller is supposedly a matoran when Nuparu, Hahli, and Hewkii are Toa?

The reboot of the forums gave comedy writers a chance to begin anew…actually, it pretty much forced them to. Some, such as Lewa0111 Nuva, decided to rewrite at least the first few chapters of their classics, turning ugly messes into works of art, just like the rest of the comedy. Others, such as ibrow, saw it as a time to completely begin again, changing the storyline of the originals for a completely different plot, recognizing that the originals were too perfect to modify.I fell in between. I wanted to begin again, but knew that the first chapters of the originals were ugly. It would be no simple cut-paste-slightly modify job. It would be a whole new work.So, without further ado…the first of two sorta-new comedies…Six matoran were gathered in Po-Metru, one from each district of the city. Brander, a Ta-matoran, was chatting amiably with Nireta, a Ga-matoran. A Le-matoran, Sanso, was practicing his instrument playing. Unfortunately, his instrument, which no one had seen before, sounded like a dying Muaka. An Onu-matoran, Kaj, was trying to tolerate the computer-playing Kokkan, a Ko-Matoran. The last, Kivi, was carving a small statue from a rock.“It’s such a lovely day, isn’t it?” Nireta asked.“Well, I don’t know,” Brander responded. “It seems a little too cloudy, and the temperature—“Nireta elbowed him in the side. “RIGHT!” Brander yelped. “It’s a BEAUTIFUL day!”A series of groans and shrieks came from Sanso’s instrument. “Could you please stop that ruckus?” Kivi asked.“So sorry!” Sanso replied. “I can’t findout what’s the troubleproblem with this musicmaker.”Kivi sighed. “It could be the fact that it has more holes than swiss cheese.”“What’s that?”“I actually don’t know.”Kivi went back to his work, while Sanso fiddled with his instrument. A whistle sounded, then another.“I thought I asked you to stop!”“I did!” Sanso protested. Another whistle sounded, followed rapidly by a fourth. Sanso’s instrument was leaning against a rock.“ARRG!” Kaj finally yelled. “MUST YOU PLAY SUCH A VIOLENT GAME, KOKKAN!?”“VIOLENT?!” Kokkan responded. “I’ll let you know that I only have one violent game, and this isn’t it!” Then his glance went back to the screen.“What’s he playing, anyway?” Kivi asked.“Microsoft Train Simulator,” Brander replied.“What are trains? And what is Microsoft?”“I don’t have the least clue.”Kaj tired of the game. Leaning over, he pressed the G key. Kokkan’s eyes grew wide.“NONONONO!” he screamed. But he was too late. The train careened onto a side track ran off the end, and spectacularly wrecked at over 160 mph.“Coolcalm down, loudscreamer,” Sanso said. “It’s only a game.”Kokkan just stared at the screen. Then, blankly, he closed the laptop, placed it in his sack, and stared across the plains. Kaj started reading a book, and everyone else went back to whatever they were doing.Then the ground shook.“BIOQUAKE!” Nireta hid behind Brander as the shaking continued.Outside, the Mata Nui Robot was swinging wildy. “Stupid Space Fly!” it yelled, trying to swat it. Eventually, he succeeded, and a crater was placed on a blue-and-green planet.Back in Po-Metru, the ground stopped. “Ever wonder why those happen?” Kaj asked.Before he could explain, another tremor shook. “ANOTHER QUAKE!” Brander yelped, hiding behind Nireta.Then all of the matoran scrambled for cover as a Kikanalo stampede roamed in. The stampede stopped when one of them shouted, “Sixty Second Dance Party!” Immediately, a disco ball descended out of nowhere, the sky darkened in the area, multicolored strobe lights turned on, and the rahi danced, ate, threw pies, and went crazy for sixty seconds. At the end of that time, the disco ball rose up, the sky returned to normal, the lights vanished, and the stampede continued onward.“MY STATUE!” Kivi yelled. “THEY RUINED IT!”Everyone returned to where they had been standing. They expected to see a destroyed pile of rubble. Instead, they saw that Kivi’s statue of Turaga Dume had been smacked by a pie in the face. Other than that, it was perfect.Turaga Dume chose that moment to walk in. Seeing the statue, he angrily cursed the rahi and set Kivi to work on a way to get revenge. Completely ignoring the fact that matoran from all six metru were together—an act normally illegal—the elder stormed off. Shrugging, the matoran left for their respective metru.The matoran returned the next day to see that Kivi had fashioned a catapult out of the surrounding rock.“What are you doing?” Brander asked casually.“This, my friends,” Kivi boasted, “will teach those kikanalo who’s boss around here. This catapult will send them flying so far, they won’t know what hit them.”“But that’s cruel!” Nireta protested. “They’ll get hurt!”“That’s the point!” Kivi replied. “Shh! Here comes one!”The matoran hid, unsure of what would happen next. A lone kikanalo walked up, and inspected the catapult. The bucket had a seat that was perfect for the rahi to take a load off and sit down, and that’s what he did. Quickly, Kivi sprang from his hiding spot, and pulled the lever.“What the—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!” the kikanalo yelled as he flew over the statues into the wild blue yonder.“It worked!” Kivi yelled happily. “They’ll leave us alone now!”“What do you mean?” Kaj retorted. “That catapult could barely launch him. Why don’t you leave the rahi flinging to us Onu-Matoran!”“NO! Ko-Matoran fling better than anyone. Just look at our disks!”“Le-matoran can flingfly better than any of you sillyguys!”The argument went on for several minutes. Brander and Nireta stood by, unsure of what to do.“Fine,” Kivi said. “Meet here tomorrow at 1700. Bring your catapults, and we’ll see who’s the best.”“Count me out! Ga-Metru won’t stand for it, and neither will Ta-Metru. Right, Brander?” Nireta declared.Brander felt uneasy, but said. “We won’t participate. But we wish you luck.” Grabbing Nireta, the two left quickly.Somewhere near Chute Station 445, Turaga Dume pulled himself out from underneath a Kikanalo. “That thing just flew out of the sky and smacked me!” he told a passing matoran.“What do you mean? Kikanalo can’t fly!” Turning to his friend, the matoran said, “I think Dume’s becoming senile.”Elsehwhere, Brander and Nireta walked down a path. “How can you condone such an activity?” Nireta asked.Brander replied, “I don’t agree with what they’re doing, but I won’t stop them.”“How can you say that? It’s cruel!” Nireta and Brander argued for at least a minute, before they found themselves mask to horn with a herd of Kikanalo.“Excuse me,” the leader said, “but we saw one of our brethren go flying through the air, and we were wondering what happened.”Before Brander could tactfully explain, Nireta pushed him aside. “Turaga Dume told Kivi to do something about the kikanalo, so he built a big catapult and sent that poor rahi flying! Isn’t it terrible?”“Terrible?!?!” The kikanalo roared, and Nireta thought she won.“Why, it looks like a ton of fun! That chap looked like the happiest rahi in the city! Do you know where we could get a ride like that?”Nireta was dumbstruck, so Brander responded. “Yes, tomorrow at Klev’s Canyon at 1700. There’ll be catapults and snacks, except maybe without the snacks.”“Thank you my boy!” The herd charged off, preparing for the next day’s excitement.“Still think it’s cruel?” Brander asked.“Well…I guess if the kikanalo like it, it can’t be that bad.”“Good! I plan on building a slingshot myself. Will you?”“Perhaps,” Nireta conceded. “But I can assure you, it will be better than yours!”That said, Nireta headed for Ga-Metru, leaving Brander alone with his thoughts.And so it began…And now a word from our sponsors!First off, the comedy itself (from “Six matoran…” to “…our sponsors!”) is 1,103 words long.Second, guest stars will not be accepted until later. There will be no permanent guest stars.Third, I'll come back later and separate the paragraphs to make it easier to read. Enjoy the new forums!EDIT: The information for the chapter was on another computer. It is now unaccesable due to a total failure of that computer. Thus, the paragraphs will not be separated. My apologies.

Instead, Portal 4 appears. I wish that more of these wishes were somehow Bionicle related.

But we DID go to Disneyland! Oh, sorry. Probably shouldn't have said that. Anyhow, I'm willing to bet a few new changes will be made to the chapters. I'm seeing it everywhere else!

The Ask Comedy that started it all is--oh wait. I guess that would be Ask Tahu, wouldn't it? Oh well, the greatest Ask Comedy makes its debut! And what a debut it is! Jokes new and old congregate in the first chapter, and while bits of the old are present, the new still brings laughs! The next chapter shall be great!

Prologue? What Prologue? I guess I'll have to look again. I highly doubt Tahu Mata will die. If anything, the assassains will. Edit: Oh, very clever, ibrow, very clever.

I don't know if the mods would change the title, but I am a little surprised you just noticed. And that quote happens to be from the third Aladdin.

You know, now that everyone has to repost everything, it's a good time to bring this comedy to the new forums!

It's back! It's New! And maybe now I can read all of it without having to look at twenty or so pages of back material. I wonder what happens next...you never know, this time could be different. My comedies will be!

Your back! And your front, you're both here! I'm glad to see the topic come back. How will the situation go this time around? And will there be guest stars?

Uh, no. I'm pretty sure the first one is a Hawk Nelson. The second I don't know. The third is from a song called "Don't Stop the Music." The fourth is from Don't Stop Believing. The last I don't know.

...okay...well, following that post, welcome to blogs! (even though I don't have one...) Anyhow, I think if you want to do razor, do it. But maybe try to make a better Hau.

TODAY is the last day for blogging. I just want to thank BZPower again. Hopefully i'll be right this time. I wonder if we'll have a game tonight. Yesterday's soccer practice was thundered out. Who knows...

Doesn't look good. We're getting lighting and thunder. Better start turning off appliances...(sigh)