Phovos

*waits for the name to be changed*

Nuuuuhvok? Don't call for him like that. He's not a dog. And he'll read this later and correct us, saying that it is indeed Space-Time with a hyphen. Oh yeah. Both you and Nuhvok read this. I think everyone reads it apart from you. Now. Where are we? In a snowy place. But the mountains aren't that high. All mountains are high though. That's why they're mountains, not hills. That's a hill over there though. Yeah... I think we need a better vantage point. Okay! I'll climb that tree... Oh. I'll just use my magnetism powers to make me float into the air. Mind doing that for me too? Sure! ROOOOOOAAAAAAAR! Was that you, Gahlok? Oh? No. It was just that dragon over there. DRAGON? YOL... JUMP! Or put out the fire with a vacuum blast. Or do that. FO KRAH DIIN! Magnetic shield? Does that work against ice? Apparently. Since when could Dragons use ice breath? Gahlok, they're mythical beings. We're beings copyrighted by a human toy manufacturer. Good point. Hin Lah Loan Dovah Lah? Pardon me? Ah. You Dwemer machines do not speak the tongue of the Dov. I assume Dov means dragon. Yes. Oh cool! A real dragon! I always wanted one as a pet! Really? Yeah. I always hoped Tahnok would accidentally turn himself into one and I'd keep him as a cute little pet and I'd stroke him and pet him forever and ever. Okay. You're weird. What are you beings? I assumed that you were creations of the Dwemer, but you speak like Muz. Muz? Humans? I think I will just stick to using your simple, ugly language. Great idea, matey. So you're a dragon? Will you be my friend? And what's your name? My name is Lokmahro, or Sky Fall's Balance in your tongue. Hai! My name's Lehvak and this here is Gahlok. Interesting. The name Gahlok is not far off one of our own worlds, Pahlok, meaning Guardian. Interesting... So, where are we? It is clear that you are lost. It is possible that you are not from our time. This is the land of Skyrim. Oh wow. We're not in some horrible Team Fortress place then? Skyrim's in another universe completely. Oh. Yeah. There has been much unrest here. The World Eater has been banished or possibly killed. The Dov lack a leader of any kind. Paarthunax is not strong enough to lead us. And the fabric of time has been torn asunder with the appearance of multiple Dovahkiin. Dragonborns? I am so lost. Me too... Hey, Lokmahro, have you seen our brother Nuhvok? He ended up here too. He's like us, but black and not very nice. No, I have not. You beings are very strange. You can say that again! So are these dragonborns bad? One kills us for pleasure. The other kills us and feeds on us. The third is much more humble, spending her time attempting to convince my fellow Dovah to stay away from Muz. Oh. Say, you going anywhere special? I was hunting. But if you wish, I can take you to my home. We can then travel from there and find your brother. EEEEEE! CAN WE RIDE ON YOUR BACK? If you so desire. YAY!

WE LOST! NOOOOOO! Oh, don't be sad, Nuhvok. We can't always win. Pahrak and Kohrak did a fiiiine job selling their lemonade! We should have won! But they sold more lemonade than us. I don't care! Don't be angry. I AM ANGRY! LIFE GAVE ME LEMONS! I DON'T WANT LEMONS! TAKE THEM BACK, LIFE! I thought you were supposed to make lemonade with lemons... Or at least lemon drizzle cake... No! Instead, I'm going to make a hole in Space Time! Oh dear... One hole in Space Time, coming up! Oh... Sparkly. I'm going in. Nuhvok, don't go in, it might be dangerous! BAI! Never mind. Don't listen to old Gahlok. Do as you want. Just disappear and do as you please. Typical... Oh, you forgot to close the portal... Hey, Gahlok. Wassup? Huh? Wassup. I don't follow. What's up? Oh! Nothing. Nuhvok's very annoyed. He created a hole in space-time again. Is it Space Time or Space-Time? Not sure. But Nuhvok jumped through his hole and disappeared. Where does the hole go? I don't know, I'm scared to look. Let me poke my head in and... Woah... What is it? It's... It's cold... Very cold. And snowy. Your head is covered in snow... Yeah... What did you see? Not much. Just snow and mountains. Do you think it's safe to go in? Yeah. Why not? Together? Sure. Okay... Let's go! Weeeee! Weeee! *pppoooffff* Gahlok? Nuhvok? I baked you guys a runners' up cake! Oh... Where are you? Oh... Hole... Hello? Oh dear. They seem to have disappeared...

Okay, I spend the day with a Threavok and I return to find that my basement is full of Lemonade... Lemonade with a capital L? Yes. Oh... Hey, Tahnok. We were just about to... Oh, I know. I read the previous chapter. Huh... I thought you'd do that. Of course I would. I use this to spy on you guys. It's easier than hiring someone to spy on you guys... Bonjour. Don't make me get the flamethrower! Non! That was random. Yeah... So where are the other guys? Nuhvok and Gahlok? They're still trying to sell lemonade. Wait, does that mean we won? Pahrak, of course. We've sold ten times the amount they have. Can I ask how? He added a secret ingredient. Yep! What is the ingredient? A secret. Oh. Yes! Why are you dancing? I've finally won something! Oh. Congrats. So, what about the others? It did take Gahlok twenty minutes to paint a single sign... And about fifty to set up the stand... Huh. Nuhvok didn't really help. How so? He just stood around being grumpy. Typical Nuhvok then. Yeah. So, who do I need to be angry about, with all this lemonade in my basement? Erm... Me... Really? Yes... You haven't been set up to say this have you? You're not being framed? No... It was my fault... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it... I forgive you. What? I accepted Pahrak's apology. You'd have killed me. Hey, he was honest! Everyone else would have lied and tried to pin it on someone else. Oh. Fair enough. So, want some lemonade? Sure. Yay! Happy ending!

Well, this looks like it might be a bit of fun! I was reading through, thinking "that was random!" and then suddenly it's a dream. Which, in this case, is a good thing. A little thing I'd like to point out, within the actual story, I'd suggest not using little notes like 2. Just explain it in the text if it's something as simple as Metru-Nui being too big to have a village drunk. Also, superscript is better than subscript for the little notes Is Azeran your character or a canon one or something? Or is he from Skyrim maybe? The name sounds familiar and I am too lazy to google it.

Pahrak, what are you doing out here? Hm? Oh, I'm just setting up a lemonade stand! Lemonade? Yes! Homemade! Oh... How did you make it? With lemons and sugar and water and stuff. No secret ingredients then? How are you going to compete with all the other lemonade stands? I... I don't follow. Well, you need to stand out. Any moron can go and sell lemonade. Anyone can make it. So why is your's so special? Erm... Because it's made by a Bohrok? And you think that people will buy that? Yes. Well, you're wrong. Aw. I just wanted to sell this lemonade... I can help. You just need to market it. Erm... How? Why has all of this got to be so confusing? What are you two doing? I'm helping Pahrak sell his lemonade. That sounds... Weird. I know... Oh, stop being euphemistic sissies. Want to help us, Gahlok? I didn't really want any help in the first place... Erm, no thank you... Wait, what are you doing now? Making signs and things so everything stands out and looks awesome. What, like arty things? Yes. Oh! I love arty things! I will help! Okay then... What's wrong, Pahrak? Oh, hey, Kohrak... Oh, nothing... I just wanted to sell some lemonade... What's stopping you? Nuhvok. I'm trying to help you sell more. I didn't really need help... Yes you did. I'm just trying to get rid of it all. I made way too much... So it was you who flooded the basement? I'm sorry... It's... It's okay. It's Tahnok's basement anyway. But since he's out socialising, we need to get rid of it as fast as possible... So, a contest? Who can sell the most lemonade before Tahnok gets back? Exactly. You and Gahlok can work together, and I'll give Pahrak a hand. And no, Pahrak, I won't force you to make your lemonade stand into a ruthless business... Yay! When is Tahnok getting back? Tomorrow... Where is he? Doing stuff for his Teleporters Guild... Ohh. Okay, let's get started! Whoever makes the most money and sells the most lemonade wins!

There's always been rumours of a Portal/Half Life short movie, but I think the chances of it being made within reasonable time are about the same as Team Fortress 3 coming out. Although, there are also lots of rumours about a 15-minutes TF2 movie...

Making people smile is the only reason I'm really here. Oh, and also, it helps clear out my imagination.

Holy dooly! This comedy is back! Erm, what? And you lil fruit-shop owners're still 'round! That's great! Awesome! D'ya come over f'some cake or something? I'm confused. Y'don't remember lil ol'Veekay? Yeah but... 'Course ya do! Your lil brothers were 'round at my place f'ages! Ya did all sortsa things and then ya brother Kohrak ran off lookin' for ya! So... We haven't actually met then? Oh, that's a good point, matey! And silly me, I didn't introduce myself! My name's Tahnok-Kal, nice to meet you. The name's Veekay, nice to meet you too, matey! Can I ask, Veekay, are you related to that Arkay who speaks in horrific, illegible yellow text? I believe I mentioned the sod when I last popped by! E's too busy t'make much time f'me... We used t'be equals, leading our K-Taksi Ksa but that didn't end too well... He didn't seem too bad... Eh... He's an alright matey. Ya just gotta get into his 'inner circle'... Oh... And he's recently been dumped by his boyfriend... Boyfriend? Okay, you need to remove that, Veekay. Phovos had a complaint that me and Turahk were too 'friendly' with one another, and we're machines. The complaints will flood in if people find out that you're... Oh, don't be silly, matey! Us Threavok are like you. We ain't got no gender! We just call everyone 'he' the way you do! Except you're organic... Eh, nah, not really. Not completely. Organic plastic alongside some other, non-organic plastic, mate. Y'know, technology, yah? Oh. I understand. So, another, somewhat random question. Why does Arkay have a thick British accent while you have a terrifying, semi-Australian accent? Ah, that! Well, mate, I'll let ya in on a secret... Most Threans can't talk the way ya do. We're all telepaths! But some of us, we learn how t'talk the way yah little guys do, with our voices, words from our mouths. It's easy f'Arkay, his element is Sound. He taught me how t'talk, but my voice ended up different 'cos I practiced wit'video games! Team Fortress 2, I guess. Weeelllll, not ONLY... But mah voice sounds... Not bad... My bro, Elkay, he sounds very slightly Canadian... And I got a mate called Espy. 'E sounds like a little girl. Then again, Espy used t'be a Bohrok... Interesting. So, when you talk by using sounds rather than telepathy, you gain a strange accent depending on how you learned to speak? Yah! You oughta come and visit us on Threa one day, matey! You'd love it! We'll see... I'm generally quite busy these days. The Teleporters Guild has been very busy... Is it just f'Bohrok? Yes. We do a lot of secret missions for the Stratos which I really should not be talking about. Ah, no worries, matey! I'm sure yah brother, Nuhvok, will spill the beans later! I bloody hope not! Did someone say beans? Oops, sorry, mate. ...

Can I say two things please? First off, a name change wouldn't be so bad, but there's not much for people to do in this topic. Criticism is done by the CCC (who do a great job) and if people want to have an event or write off or expo or just a chat about comedy writing, they do it here. This topic is like General Discussion for the Comedies section. As for ZHX's comment, that's incredibly unfair of you to call most of the work in this forum "mediocre". Yes, there are some that aren't very good, there always will be, but just saying 'most' is unfair to all those who have put and time and effort into their work. Then again, why should I care. I just write to make the odd person smile occasionally.

People... People don't like me? Arkay, this is BZP. You don't have a place here. Aw, and I was going to change my text colour to 'Golden Rod' as well... Please, Arkay. You have your own blog. And a forum. It's not my forum, it's your forum. And since Retvik joined, I don't want to post there... Oh, grow up. Fine. Is the person with yellow text gone now? Seems like it. And who hates us? Most people. We sold really badly in the human world. Ethra? Earth, moron. Ethra is where horrible-yellow-text Arkay is from. No, he's from Threa. Ethra's another place entirely. Oh, and since when did you know all about these planets, Tahnok? To join the Teleporter Guild, you have to complete a task on six different planets. Ethra is commonly picked because it's full of places to hide. And the native Ethrans are rather friendly. Oh. Also, I think Nuhvok and Phovos may have been referring to the people in the Short Stories and Epics section. I mean, it's not all pie-throwing around here, right? No, they've also got to put up with awful, scripted comedies like this. At least this comedy is unique though. And it flows. And it's easy to write. Yeah!.. Wait... Is it really that easy to write? Yep. My imagination is so full of rubbish. Huh... So, who wants cake? I made it for Mother's Day yesterday but Gahdok and Cahdok just punched me in the face and kicked me out. Yeah, they're so grumpy like that. I got them a coffee machine that made decaffeinated coffee and they disintegrated it with Kohrak's present. What DID Kohrak get them? A disintegrating gun. Oh. I assume they only liked his present then. Ow... Are you okay, Gahlok? Eh... Not really. I tried making breakfast in bed for the Bahrag and they poured boiling hot baked beans, bacon and sausages on my head. That's just cruel. I'm sorry, Gahlok. They didn't like my cake either. They didn't? What a shame! It was really pretty as well. Yeah... Where is it? On the side, there. It's still edible, once I've picked all the pebbles out of it. They just flicked it out of my hands. Mind if I have some now? Of course not! Watch out for... OW! ... Stones... Ow... Nuhvok? What did you get the Bahrag for mother's day? Nothing. Wise move. And they weren't angry? Considering what they did to you and your presents, I doubt it. Good point... Oh dear, never mind. So, do you want cake? Yeah, sure. Thanks, Pahrak. Yummy! Say, where IS Kohrak? Kohrak? Oh, he's still with the Bahrag. They're firing disintegrating lasers at him for target practice...

That looks great. Only problem is that text becomes less readable depending on the image. Some sort of transparent box or an outline behind the text might help.

Bloody Bahrag, I forgot about this... Well, that's understandable, Phovos. You've been busy with me, Medic and Vahrga Thom... Is he really calling himself Thom now? Arkay, your yellow text is too hard to read. But I feel quite sad. It turns out that the people in the Short Stories and Epics section very much hate the Comedies forum, thinking it's worthless... WHAT? WHO SAID THAT? Hello, Nuhvok. Hello, Phovos, strange yellow and black creature. Glad to see you again. Same to you too, Nuhvok. Yeah, as I was saying, there was a message in my inbox by a bunch of comedy writers saying all sorts of things that make me sad. What's going on? Apparently some people hate us. So Phovos is resurrecting this comedy. Oh great! Just... Leave out the stuff between me and Turahk please. Things... Things didn't go well. HAHAHAHAHA! I knew it! You silly, sappy fool! Lehvak, that's no way to treat someone with a broken heart! Are you okay, Tahnok? Oh, I'm fine. I actually started up a whole new group, the Teleporter Korps. We're now an incredibly valuable asset to the Bohrok armies. Except for the guy who teleported into a wall yesterday. Poor guy. Didn't have any control... Did you manage to get him out? Nope. His arm is still sticking out of the wall. That's horrible... C'mon, Tahnok, give us lots of juicy gossip about Turahk! Nope. Pleaaaasse? No. Who is Turahk? Is he the red Kshan-looking guy that you used to date? The red Rahkshi, yes. Who are you, mister I Speak In Horrible Bright Yellow Text? My name's Arkay. I'm a Threavok. You remember Veekay? I'm his brother. Nice to meet you. Ohhh! You're the guy I ordered those laser pistols from. They didn't work! Did you turn the safety off? ...No... That explains it. So, GOSSIP. TELL ME NOW, TAHNOK. Fine. He proposed to me. I was unsure. I said I wanted to think about it. He got angry and lost control of his Makuta-y powers and tried to eat me. Oh. That wasn't nearly as fun as you suggested. Can I talk now? No. Go away. Don't make me drop-kick you. Okay, I'll shut up. Good. Anyway, anyone think I should bring this back to life? Yes please. I've been lonely. Being a Toa is fun but the Matoran are still scared of me. And they're taller than me. Not fair. Aw, poor Pahrak. Also, where's Gahlok? Is he around here somewhere? Oh look, he just crashed through the ceiling. Ow. Stupid rocket-powered jetpack didn't work. So much for a spectacular entrance. Pfft. Yeah. Anyway, I'd like to see this come back to life. Starting over for, what, the fifth time? Seventh, I think. Eh, whatever. Okay, I'll start this again. Make people happy, ja? 'Yes', Phovos. You're not German. Nai. Gah. Hey, I'm an English Cypriot. Don't say I can't use Greek now. No one understands you though. Can we get started with the comedy now? Yes! Yay! Tomorrow. We'll start tomorrow. Okay? Cool. Yush. Yipee! Cookie. GIMMEE! Bloody Bahrag...

Hai... Oh no no no, get out Kohrak, get out, secret stuff here, not allowed to see, move it, clear off, go away. And Pahrak's just slammed the door in my face. Guess I'll see what Tahnok's up to. You always have to see what I'm up to. Why don't you go give Gahlok some love? Oh, you're right here. So you saw Pahrak... He's working on his Christmas presents. He's always secretive about presents. Huh. Why didn't he say so? Dunno. But once I'm done with the washing, I'm popping to the shops with Turahk to do some festive shopping myself. He's struggling to work out what to buy you lot so I said we'd chip in and buy something big. Turahk doesn't have to buy us stuff... Yeah, I said that, but he wants to. Anyway, see ya. Bye... So, what was Tahnok saying about you giving me some love? That sounds so... Perverted. You know what he means. I don't get much screen time around here. Yeah. Probably because you think you're female. Well, that and... And? When the author starts typing, I normally hide. I'm not a fan of all this Bohrok-Kal Ramblings stuff. Why not? ​It's embarrassing. And silly. Can't we just live our lives? People mock us! Admittedly, everyone mocks us. We're Bohrok-Kal, Clones of clones. People haaaaate us. With a passion. There's a reason we were all killed in under 3 months. That wasn't fun... Yeah. Not worth thinking about... Those darn Toa... At least the Rahkshi got a good run. Although not always seen, they did often pop up behind the scenes. Lucky. But imagine a nest of us. A good 10,000 Bohrok-Kal. We'd be unstoppable. Or it'd be like in Brave New World, in the experiment they did on the island of Cyprus, which was filled with smart, A people, where no one wanted to do the dirty jobs and everything was turned back to normal... ... Good point... Yeah. Would be cool though. Definitely. Worth a shot, I think. So, any ideas for Christmas gifts? Actually... You're the only person I have to buy for now. I've bought everyone else presents. Really? I'm still struggling as to what to get for Tahnok. I bought him a blanket. You could get him some pillows to go with it? That's not a bad idea. Yep. What did you get for Pahrak? Bouncy ball. Really? And some cool, silicon kitchenware. Ah... And Lehvak? Lehvak and Nuhvok are easy to buy for. Prank toys for Lehvak and video games for Nuhvok. I just buy Team Fortress items for Nuhvok. He was pleased last year when I gave him 5 keys. What a weird economy that is. Keys are worth more than metal and headphones are worth more than keys and weapons. Yeah. The lowest form of currency is a weapon. Very weird. So, what happened to that Portal thingy you were doing? Decided to save it until after the holidays. Not in the mood currently. Fair enough. Want to come shopping with me? Sure, why not?

Taaahnok? Mmmhmmm? What is thaaaaat? It's a Christmas tree. That's not a Christmas tree. It's the wrong shape. How is it the wrong shape? It's a fake fir tree. That's always been the shape of a Christmas tree. Wait, what? I thought a Christmas tree was one of those trees you find on a desert island. A palm tree? Really? Yes. Did you watch that TV show, Futurama? Yeah, why? You're a moron. You really are. Gee, thanks, bro. I love you too. Whatever. How many Christmas holidays have you celebrated? One. With Medic. But we didn't have a tree. Pyro burnt it down. Bloody Bahrag. No wonder you're clueless. Can I ask, why are we doing all this stuff early? Because you're not going to be here? Oh yeah. Yeah, sorry about that. Stratos called me in. Which is why we're celebrating early. Despite us all being atheist non-believers. Can't do this if we're all not here. Is anyone else coming or is it just another boring day with you lot, with presents and food? Turahk's coming, so is Phovos. BLU Medic is popping by as well. Yaaaay! Can I invite Pohatu please? Yeah, if you want. I wanted to invite Kopaka too, but he's busy. Why? He rents himself out every December. He does fake snow for parties and stuff. Pfft. Really? Yeah. Apparently he likes it. Huh. Yep. Me and Pohatu chipped in and bought him a sofa for his house. What is it with you lot and sofas as gifts? There's a DFS down the road. They've always got a sale on sofas. I don't think there was a time that there wasn't a sale on sofas there. Oh. What about Ikea? Too far away. That's all the way in Lefkosia. Yeah. Long drive. So, anyone else you want to invite? I'm just glad you managed to get an invite to Doc. Yay. Nice tree, Tahnok. Thanks! So who's cooking? Me, but Tahnok offered to help and Gahlok's gone out to get a few bits and pieces. Oh nice. I feel festive now! Oh goody. Yay, Christmas spirit!

That car cost only a couple of hundred widgets? Wow.

Spies, Creepers and Turahk aren't creepy. That was a bit of a bad joke on my part. The concept of a scary creature stalking you is always going to be creepy in a real-life-help-me way but Slenderman has become overused and dull, even more so in game form.

Kohrak? Hm? Oh, sorry, Veekay. I was listening out for back home. Your hearing is so good you can hear what's going on at home? Yeah. I hear pretty much anything. I have to wear special, custom made earplugs in bed so I can actually sleep. It can get very annoying at times. Sounds like a pain, matey. And there I was, thinking you'd ditched the pseudo Australian accent. It ain't supposed to be Australian. It was just supposed t' be friendly. You don't need a friendly accent. It's nice though. Also, Arkay's allowed t' have a British accent... Is he one of your brothers? Blood brother, yeah. We're actually related t' one another. Same parents. Most people generally just share a mother. But you don't have genders? Yeah... Let's not get into all that. Oh all right then. So, why ya here? I was just bored and fancied a trip. Also, it's mostly this thought experiment of mine. I like thought experiments. Especially ones like the one Sawbones did. Running into a room screaming that a poisonous gas tank has exploded to see what happens... Oh, huh. So, what happened? People ignored him and got poisoned. Oh. That sucks. Humans are dumb. That ain't true. Every species has a bunch of stupid ones. That's just t'way things go. True. So, your thought experiment? Oh yes. About that. Well... A while ago, Pahrak and Tahnok wanted to go into my room. No one's allowed in my room. I have secret projects and weapons and all sorts in there. So, as my thought experiment, I wondered what would happen if a. I let Pahrak and Tahnok discuss my bedroom with Nuhvok and/or Lehvak, and b. to what degree would they try and get into my room? What did they do? Well, Tahnok's a smart cookie. He quickly realised that I have a back up generator in my bedroom that activated whenever someone cuts the power. Of course, Tahnok didn't realise that until he set off my Taser trap. Taser? It's a less than fatal weapon that electrocutes the target. Ain't Tahnok immune t'that? Yeah but it still hurts. That's... That's cruel. Hey, I have dangerous stuff in my room. I can't let anyone just waltz in there and use it. I guess... See? Yeah. But... What about t'others? What're they gonna do? Well... Hehehehe... What? We'll find out in the next chapter. Aw. But I wanted t'find out now!

Honestly, whether it be picture, creepy pasta or game, I have never foubd Slendeman to be scary in any way. It feels like Slendy started off as a fairly creepy guy and everyones just gone and stuck loads of supernatural abilities to him.Its just another variation of being followed by a creep in the woods.TF2 Spies, Creepers and Turahk are scarier than Slenderman.

I voted for all the Bohrok. As for Bohrok-Kal, it was very hard to decide. In the end I went with Tahnok-Kal. First Bionicle I ever bought. But character-wise, Lehvak-Kal and Kohrak-Kal are both a very close second.

You HAVE to do some sort of Egyptian village, what with deserts and stuff. Maybe a Roman town? Or, if you want something exotic, maybe a Mongol settlement?

I doubt it's anything intelligent. But even just some sort of bacteria would be amazing.

That's a nice comic. The little Bohrok Va is cute. Those Bahrag have huge necks.

Shhh! What? Kohrak will hear you! He's not here. He's like a couple of hundred miles away. But if you repeatedly say his name, he'll hear you. Oh, okay. Because he listens out for whenever someone says his name. So don't mention his name. Alrighty then. Have you been studying Koh... Him? No. He just told me that last week. That explains why he knew I was stealing his cookies when I said "Oh, hey, Kohrak's cookie jar!" Yeah... He's a tough guy to sneak things past. Or we could avoid all this by not saying anything... Whatever. Can we go into Kohrak's room please? Yep. Just let me cut the power and... And it's dark in here. Duh. Tahnok just turned off the power. And why did you do that? To turn off any traps that he's set up. Because he uses electricity to power that Taser gun that fires at you when you walk in. Ohhh... So, Tahnok, you go in first. We'll be your backup. Gee, thanks. You're the electricity Bohrok. If you get hit by a Taser, it won't hurt. It will, it just won't incapacitate me. That's a big word for a pretty Bohrok. Oh shut up. I'm going in. Be careful... Hey, there's a light on in h... OW! Tahnok? Ow ow ow ow ow ow. Tahnok! Gah... I didn't know that he had his own generator... The darn Taser went off... Are you okay? I'm fine. Get on with it. ​I'd rather not. If that worked, that means Kohrak's guillotine is still operational. Guillotine? Yes. The one he showed me if you touch his bed. Okay, I think we should leave. Me too. Cowards. Fine. I'd like to see you go in there and get tasered. Maybe later.

"Where's that popcorn you promised me, Phovos?" Eric asked, licking his lips. "When on earth did I promise you popcorn?" Phovos hissed back. "Who cares about popcorn?" Phovia, who had grown bored and started playing on Tahnok's tiny laptop (without his permission, mind you...) sighed. "Vrey... Pohatu, get on with it so I can get back to playing Saints Row: The Third without having to listen to the rest of you." "Why are you playing on my laptop?" Tahnoj butted in. "And what's with all these sentences starting with questions?" Pohatu or Vrey or whatever he's called just rolled his eyes. "As I was saying before the long interlude that lacked popcorn, I was going to mention the War. Thing is, the Toa, or Hoardikai, as they were starting to call themselves, had been very secretive in their movements. No one knew yet that they had changed and were all starting to work together, almost as a nation. A lot of the Hoardikai had gone to Metru Nui to live there. One group in particular were actually quite powerful. I don't remember their names, and most of them died early on anyway, because they'd been caught killing or eating Matoran and a Makuta had quickly executed them. But there were four of this group left. Lhikan, a Fire Toa, Nidhiki, an Air Toa and Naho and Tuyet, two Water Toa. "Thing is, Tuyet had found something. A Toa Stone. An object that can..." "Let me guess," Phovia interrupted. "It turns a Matoran into a Toa." "Yeah. You're right. But this was a really powerful stone. It could make a whole team of Toa. And Tuyet wanted to keep the stone for herself, to create a new, pure group of Toa who didn't kill. Lhikan on the other hand, just wanted more Toa to join his ranks. So, in an attempt to get the stone, Lhikan started killing and leaving Matoran around, framing Tuyet. When a group of Titans arrived to arrest Tuyet, she attempted to use the stone to make herself more powerful and escape, but Lhikan blocked her and knocked the stone. He was about to catch it when Nidhiki stopped him, letting the stone shatter into six pieces, which were washed away by a wave created by Naho. "So Tuyet was hauled away to a prison near the submerged city of Mahri Nui, and Lhikan started bringing more and more Hoardikai to Metru Nui. But the Great Beings and the Makuta were beginning to notice what Lhikan was doing. The Hunters, seeing an opportunity, attacked Metru Nui and invaded. Honestly, no one expected this. The Matoran, in desperation, hid in the Archives, using whatever they could find to keep both Hunter and Hoardikai away. Both sides lost a lot of people. And things were starting to look bad. Metru Nui was almost in ruins. "But then something unexpected happened. Nidhiki sneaked off one night and went deep into Hunter territory. He'd often do this, with Lhikan's permission, to try and find information about the Hunter's movements but Nidhiki always came back empty handed. That night though, Nidhiki didn't come back at all. Turns out, he was sick of his Matoran-killing ways and wished to stop Lhikan. Of course, Lhikan discovered this when Nidhiki lead 20 Toa to their deaths, then allowed Naho to die. Furious, he captured Nidhiki, siphoned out his elemental abilities then threw him into a lake of protodermis (which Metru Nui pretty much floated in), leaving the good Toa to die. "Eventually, the Hoardikai won the war, but their numbers had been decimated. The remaining Hunters fled the island. The Hoardikai though went underground, spreading themselves out in an attempt to both protect their fading population and to find a new base. Lhikan remained on his own on Metru Nui, in search for the six lost Toa stones..." "What about Nidhiki?" Phovos asked. "What about him?" Pohatu replied. "Is he dead?" Pohatu shook his head. "I'll get to him next time..."