Toa of Nerds

That's a pretty neat little addition. Good work staff!-don't touch my pocket protector

I sincerely hope that the cake does not turn out to be a lie.-don't touch my pocket protector

That's pretty sweet. Doesn't surprise me that it would happen in Germany, though.-don't touch my pocket protector

One thing that you have to keep in mind is that the matoran of Mata-Nui had to survive a thousand years of rahi attacks completely on their own. At the point that the Toa-Mata arrived, they were in many ways more mature than the Toa. However, on Metru-Nui, the Toa and matoran seemed to be in a more parent/child relationship. Although matoran are not literally children, on Metru-Nui they relied on the Toa (and Vahki, but the Vahki aren't much for conversation) for protection. They did not have to worry about fending for themselves, and in many ways served as the child's role in a parent/child relationship. Look at the Vakama/Lhikan relationship for example. Lhikan was a father figure to Vakama, and when Vakama was on his own he was lost.Viewed through this lens, LoMN is really a coming-of-age story. Vakama starts as a child (matoran) and becomes a toa, but is still unsure of himself, which parallels with the adolescent stage of human development. Eventually, Vakama grows and finally becomes an adult (toa) when he uses the mask of time to defeat Makuta.In that sense the matoran were "children", but on Mata-Nui they aren't because they were forced to "grow up" emotionally, although they were "biologically" adult the entire time.-don't touch my pocket protector

I honestly don't think anybody is truly evil. Nobody does something simply to be evil, they do it either because they think that what they are doing is a good thing, or because they are crazy. I think Karzahni was leaning towards the crazy end of the spectrum.-don't touch my pocket protector

Wow, that's pretty sweet. So it looked like you had to combine a Friends set with a Ninjago set, right? That seems like a challenge. Congrats on winning Nukaya!-don't touch my pocket protector

On my profile and next to my name in the forum it displays that I have "three warning points." I've never seen these before. When I click on it, it goes to my "warn history" and I see three "warnings." Two are from Black Six from a couple of years ago when I got proto, and one is Smeag on October 10, 2009. I never received any warning or message from him that I can remember, and there aren't any details given.What is this? Is this a bug or something? Can other people see it?-don't touch my pocket protector

Very nice. I love the color scheme. The trans-green and black really look great together. His weapons also look really cool. The only critiques I have are that his feet and lower torso look really bare-bones. If you could armour those a little more, I think it would really make this guy look like a titan. Other than that, good job, 8/10.-don't touch my pocket protector

Hire midgets, obviously.But seriously, this sounds interesting. However, it has the propensity to turn into an infamous "vapor project" that never gets finished because of all the work required. When you're making it, don't get caught up in the big picture, instead, focus on small, easily achievable goals. That way you'll feel like you're making progress and you won't get overwhelmed. Regardless, I look forward to watching this when it's finished.-don't touch my pocket protector

Interesting, I didn't know they made these. I'm not surprised that it didn't fly well, considering it was a McDonald's promotion, though. Were there other kinds, or was that one it?-don't touch my pocket protector

I had an interesting experience with the MNOG. I remember loading it up and thinking it was so awesome. Unfortunately, I didn't make it very far because my internet was terrible and it took way too long to load. So a few months ago, I found an offline version, and sought to finish what I started 10 years earlier. So I finished it. Without nostalgia or rose-tinted glasses or the perspective of an eight-year old, I evaluated it fairly. And, with a decade of gaming experience under my belt, I can testify that it is just a flat-out great game. But I think what really drew people in was the sense of mystery throughout. MNOG really brought the world of Bionicle to life, and made you want to learn more about it. It's easy to see how so many kids got into Bionicle because of MNOG.-don't touch my pocket protector

Before this chapter, I really want to take the time to thank all of you. Thank you so much for all your feedback. Thanks for being honest, and helping me improve. Thank you for all your wonderful suggestions, as they really made this comedy the best it can be. Please send in more!Over the passed...wow...30+ weeks, I've had so much fun writing this, and reading your responses. Your feedback has made this comedy the most fulfilling and gratifying writing project I have ever undertaken. I truly can't thank you enough.Hopefully you'll come back next season Product Twenty-Five (Season Finale) Announcer: I’ve got good news and bad news!Audience: What?Announcer: The bad news is that UBZPJTUMH! is going out of business.Audience: Ah.Announcer: The good news is that we’re giving you great deals on everything we’ve got left!Audience: Yay!Announcer: That’s right! Turned out not enough people wanted useless junk, so we’re dropping the price on everything on our all-out, blow-out clear-out end-all sale of all time!Audience: Huzzah!Announcer: That’s right, everything must go!Audience: Really?Announcer: Really! We’re giving you insane deals on everything!Audience: *Gasp!*Announcer: Get Fax-O-Power 50% off! Oscar Mayer spam at 60%, and any DITTO!-bot related product for FREE!!!Audience: For free?Announcer: For free! That’s right, now you won’t even have to pay to get infected with the DITTO! virus. We’re that desperate to get it off our hands! PLEASE TAKE IT OFF OUR HANDS!Audience: We will!Announcer: Oh, I know you will, because we’re also selling office equipment, too! Get this stapler, actually used in the making of many UBZPJTUMH! products, free with any purchase over $50!Audience: Wow!Announcer: But that’s not all, we’re also selling: Computers! Desks! Chairs! Paper Weights! Our Employees’ Sentimental Desk-Clogging Stuff! Our Employees!Audience: What?Announcer: That’s right, if you call now you can get Gary for only five EASY payments of $49.95! Slavery is still legal, right?Well-Dressed Lawyer: Everything’s legal…somewhere .Announcer: Sweet!Audience: Sweet!Announcer: See, everybody wins! Well, except for Gary, but he knew he was pledging himself to a life of thankless service when he signed up to be our intern, now we’re just dropping the pretenses!Audience: Nice!Announcer: Yeah, he’s deliver coffee, make copies, grab lunch, staple papers…you know what, on second thought I like Gary. He’s no longer for sale.Audience: Bummer.Announcer: But don’t worry, because if you call right now you can get this premium pre-used gum that I found under a desk!Audience: Gross!Announcer: But you want it!Audience: You bet!Announcer: Well, if you like that, then you’ll love this!Audience: What?Announcer: We’ve got 500 cases of industrial grade tacks! These aren’t your ordinary household tacks, these have little barbs at the end to insure they hold on tight!Audience: Neat!Announcer: But wait, if you call in the next 15 minutes, then we’ll also give you a piece of UBZPJTUMH! history!Audience: What?Announcer: This roll of premium duct tape!Audience: What?Announcer: That’s right, this duct tape was actually what held together many of the products you saw on UBZPJTUMH!!Audience: Really? Which ones?Announcer: All of them! And I mean that literally!Audience: Even the software on DVDs?Announcer: Wait, you actually got those discs to run?Audience: Um, no…Announcer: Hah, you got me thinking for a while that they invented a DVD drive that could read duct tape!Audience: Oh!Announcer: Anyway, you act right now! These deals won’t last long, so call in before the sheriff evicts us!Audience: Yes!Announcer: Call now! We’re bankrupt!Will UBZPJTUMH! survive? How can a DVD be made out of duct tape? How can there even be a second season when UBZPJTUMH! just closed down? All these answers and more when Useless BZPower Junk That You Must Have! returns on July 28. Don’t miss it!

Eh, its unlikely that those will get finished. It's kind of disappointing, but that's life. I'm not sure exactly why GregF stopped doing it, but think he simply lost interest in it, and it's not really his job anymore.-don't touch my pocket protector

Betcha I could build one 104 feet 9 inches tall .-don't touch my pocket protector

Product Twenty-Four (Season One DVD Collection) Announcer: Season one of UBZPJTUMH is almost over! But is that gonna stop us from peddling stuff to you?Audience: No!Announcer: That’s right, because on June 1st UBZPJTUMH!: Season One! comes out on DVD!Audience: Gasp! A written comedy on DVD!Announcer: That’s right! Its totally useless, but you—Audience: MUST HAVE IT!Announcer: That’s the spirit!Audience: Yay! Compliments!Announcer: That’s right! This Collector’s Edition DVD Collection for Collectors contains all of your favorite UBZPJTUMH! episodes with tons of bonus content!Audience: Incredible!Announcer: Now you could just read the chapters free on the internet, but why would you do that when you can spend money on them?Audience: Yeah!Announcer: Instead of reading them in your head, we have hilariously bad celebrity impersonators read them to you!Audience: Sweet!Announcer: We’ve got James Burl Jones, Morgan Teedman, Tom Banks, Willy Mays, and Billy Mays!Audience: Gasp!Announcer: That’s right! The guy we got to play Billy Mays is named Willy Mays and the guy we got to play Billy Mays is named Willy Mays! Coincidence?Audience: No!Announcer: Of course it is! This comedy isn’t that smart!Audience: Oh.Announcer: But that isn’t all, you get the full contents of this comedy in a snazzy collector’s edition font that is annoying to read!Audience: Wow!Announcer: Yep! If Comic Sans wasn't annoying enough, we've taken it and made it massive and bolded!Audience: Awesome!Announcer: That’s right, you could read it online for free, but you won’t get that snazzy font that you never knew you wanted—until now!Audience: Sweet!Announcer: But that isn’t all, you also get the author’s commentary on both the audio copy and annoying-font version!Audience: How do you do author’s commentary on text?Announcer: The same way they do director’s commentary on movies:Announcer: You just layer the commentary on top of the content so it’s impossible to discern either!Audience Wow!Announcer: But that isn’t all! You also get a booklet full of concept art, so you can really get into the author's mind while he was writing this! Here's a sample:Audience: Insightful!Announcer: And you'll also get several useless and annoying making-of feature-ettes that tell you absolutely nothing!Audience: OOOH!Announcer: And a limited edition action figure!Audience: No way!Announcer: All of it fitting into this limited edition DVD case!Audience: Wow! Great cover artwork!Announcer: That’s right, make sure you get the limited edition case! Here’s a picture of the normal case:Audience: Lame!Announcer: Exactly, you want to make sure you get the good stuff! See, look at all that dust around the lame version!Audience: Yeah!Announcer: And the only way to get it is to go out to stores on June 1st, but quantities are limited!Audience: They are?Announcer: Yes they are, so make sure to get your copy by per-ordering now! For only $79.95 you get all of this as soon as it's released!Audience: All right!Announcer: So pick up the phone and pre-order right now!

Hey....Appreciation for high culture =/= inteligence.Anyway, good chapter as usual, Toa of Nerds.Grrr, semantics.-don't touch my pocket protector

I didn't like the ending. Now let me be clear, I had no problem with Bionicle ending when it did, I had a problem with how it ended. It was rushed and cheap and left much to be desired. Definitely it was my least favorite part.-don't touch my pocket protector

This week, I'd like to make an announcement. First of all, I would like to thank all of you for reading and enjoying my comedy. Your feedback has made this thing worthwhile for me. Writing this comedy has been incredibly enjoyable for me, however, sometimes the challenge of coming up with a new product every week wears on me. For this reason, I need a break.That's why I'm announcing that May 26 will be the season finale for UBZPJTYMH! This is not the end. This comedy will return on Saturday, July 28. That happens to be my birthday. No, that is not a coincidence . I'm still open to suggestions, as always, but keep in mind that if you make a suggestion now, you won't see your product until season 2. Thank you so much, and I hope you'll come back for season 2 !Anyway, enough of that, on with today's chapter! Product Twenty-Three (Undegree-ME!) This product was inspired by a recent trip I took to Vanderbilt University, which, when you think about it, is a little ironic. Announcer: Have you ever applied for a job but got turned down because you’re “overqualified”?Audience: Yes!Announcer: Has that electrical engineering degree you got from community college been a huge dead weight on your career?Audience: Yes!Announcer: Well, then fear not! Because we here at Useless BZPower Junk That You Must Have! Have found a solution?Audience: You have?Announcer: Yes, we have! Now, let me proudly introduce: Undegree-ME!Audience: AH!Announcer: Undegree-ME! is an online course guaranteed to strip you of all the knowledge you obtained in college!Audience: Wow!Announcer: Busy schedule? Can’t travel? No problem, because Undegree-ME! works with you to make you dumber.Audience: Nice!Announcer: Study anywhere you want and learn at your own pace using our patented Online Stupidity Center .Audience: Amazing!Announcer: When you first order the program, you will get a password to your My Online Stupidity Center account! From there you will take our diagnostic test to determine where you are! Here, have a look: Audience: Wow!Announcer: And that’s only where your un-education begins!Audience: All right!Announcer: Once you complete the diagnostic test, you will be assigned a personalized un-training program!Audience: Amazing!Announcer: And the amazing part is that it’s online! So you can un-study and un-learn in your own time!Audience: Yes!Announcer: Too busy not working? No problem, just log in when you’re ready! It’s like online college, except it isn’t!Audience: No it isn’t!Announcer: This course will empty your brain faster than re-runs of Two and Half Men! Instructors will teach you tips on how to consciously suppress the urge to learn!Audience: Learning how to never learn again!Announcer: Exactly. There are specific courses on Unlearning Math, Unlearning Logic, Unlearning English, and Learning Pop Culture.Audience: Wow!Announcer: And all of it for less than you paid for college!Audience: Incredible!Announcer: That’s right for only 4 easy payments of $1,995, you can unlearn everything you ever learned! That’s less than the price of ONE year of college! Why should unlearning stuff cost more than learning stuff after all?Audience: Yeah!Announcer: So what are you waiting for? Order now! It’ll be the dumbest decision you’ve ever made.

PC, but I'm biased.This looks awesome. I hope they change it up a bit, though. Recently the Lego games have been getting formulaic. It would be nice if they would break the mold for a change.-don't touch my pocket protector

Lego bureaucrats' censorship boooo!But seriously, I can totally understand why such an idea would be rejected.-don't touch my pocket protector

Product Twenty-Two (Hacker Smacker) Announcer: These passed weeks have been trying times for BZPower. For at this time, BZPower was suddenly and deliberately attacked. When this happened, we weren’t sure if we could go on. After all, in the midst of war, can you really sell useless stuff? But then I realized to myself: how can you live without buying useless stuff? SO WE PRESS ON TO SELLING USELESS STUFF!!!Audience: Yay!Announcer: But this product isn’t useless! I, and all other BZPers, hope that such an attack will never happen again. So make sure it will never happen again with the Hacker Smacker!Audience: Yes!Announcer: The Hacker Smacker is guaranteed to prevent any hacking attempts by Smacking the Hacker!Audience: Wow!Announcer: This new and revolutionary cyber defense program will insure BZPower remains online for a lifetime! Audience: Incredible!Announcer: Instead of relying on the incredibly lame powers of actual cyber defense, the Hacker Smacker relies on psychological powers!Audience: What?Announcer: That’s right! Instead of actually preventing the hacker’s access to the database, the Hacker Smacker displays a barrage of Windows-esc messages asking him or her if they are sure about that, if they want save their progress, if they’re really sure they want to do that, and informing them of “error code: STOP 0x09943138”!Audience: Wow!Announcer: Basically, it annoys the heck out of any non-Windows user!Audience: What if they hacker doesn’t boot Windows?Announcer: Hah! Well, if the person in question is actually booting Windows, then they obviously aren’t a competent hacker and we don’t’ have to worry about them!Audience: Huzzah!Announcer: What’s amazing about this is that it slowly works its way into the mind of the hacker; gradually sapping their will to ever touch a computer again!Audience: You can’t get that anywhere else!Announcer: That’s right, and you can’t get it at a lower price: $19.95!Audience: $19.95!Announcer: That’s right, you get peace of mind with only a piece of your paycheck! Hackers will never want to deal with these annoying pop-ups again! Check out the Hacker Smacker in action:Audience: Wow!Announcer: With that, you’d never want to hack again!Audience: That’s right!Announcer: So call now and keep your database hacker-free!

I just dig that blackboard. It looks perfect for a classroom. There are some really cool pieces in there, I have to admit.-don't touch my pocket protector

I know a lot of people found Matau annoying, but I'm going to say Matau was my favorite character. I always liked him because I thought his reaction to getting superhero powers was the most realistic. If I got super powers, my reaction would probably be exactly like Matau's. However, when stuff got serious, Matau stepped up and stopped joking around. He basically saved Vakama, and was just a blast to follow through the story.-don't touch my pocket protector

It's hard for me to choose a least successful team because we have very little information on any of the major candidates. However, for most successful I'm going to go with the Metru. Yeah, the Mahri saved the whole planet, but keep in mind that Makuta was helping them do that all the way. The Nuva were also very successful, but they had a ton of help from the Metru. That's why I'm going with the Metru. Not only did they overcome massive odds and internal conflict. Not only did they overcome a vicious enemy...twice. But they also helped to guide the Toa Nuva. In terms of what they accomplished they: Locked Makuta awayOvercame personal difficultiesSaved the entire population of Metru-Nui matoranGuided the Toa Nuva, which would go on to do a few important things Not only that, but the Metru story arc was my favorite . For me, that's what pushes them over the edge.-don't touch my pocket protector