RPG Forum Contest 22 Reviews

[Toa Kovolta]

Sorry if the format of this seems weird, I'm starting to get a little tired.Review of "Dreamland" by KalThe banner looks very nice!Intro:Very Intriguing! Overview:I really love how this is written. Sets up the rp perfectly!That last line is great!Summary:Seems very redundant. Says everything the Overview did, but in a less cool format.Gameplay:Have to lol at that "Or you can die"!Dreamland:Map looks alright. Might be nice to see some indication of elevation though maybe, just to show how the whole island slopes up towards the volcano.Really love this location! It's not the typical one you would normally see in an rp, and it's so full of mystery!Factions:Goals are clearly laid out. Lots of good choices here.Rules, Game Master:... yeah, what is there to say.Profiles:"it, non" .................................I notice, that the olmak is not on the banned list. Is that because, the teleportation scrambler would make it useless anyways?That's the first time I've seen a Weaknesses section in while, interesting.NPC's:"Swervarian" - ?Do Gerett's teleportation powers work inside the teleportation scrambler?Some very nice characters.Typo's:Beginning of the second paragraph, "laid" should be "lay".There was another one, but I forget what it was.All in all sound like a very good rpg! Very mysterious, you almost make me want to play just so I can find out what secrets it holds!

Edited December 10, 2011 by Toa Kovolta

[Kal the Guardian]

Summary:Seems very redundant. Says everything the Overview did, but in a less cool format.Yeah. =/ It is redundant. But it's for those who didn't get the overview or didn't read it. I laugh at myself though because my summary is only half the size of the overview instead of one paragraph. Plus I believe a give a few different nuggets of information in it, or at least in a different way.Gameplay:Have to lol at that "Or you can die"!Oh yeah! XDDreamland:Map looks alright. Might be nice to see some indication of elevation though maybe, just to show how the whole island slopes up towards the volcano. That sounds awesome! But I have no idea how to do that. Profiles:"it, non" ................................. XDI notice, that the olmak is not on the banned list. Is that because, the teleportation scrambler would make it useless anyways? Well fudge mcmuffins. How did I not catch that one? Fixed.NPC's:"Swervarian" - ?Eh, it's sort of an epic, sort of serveral RPGs. He comes from the Island of Avoidance, which the inhabitants call "Swerv". So, they are Swervarian. Confusing to everyone except Parugi, a few others who play Day Run, and I. Just ignore it.Do Gerett's teleportation powers work inside the teleportation scrambler? Hey! Guess who didn't think of that? *raises hand* No, they wouldn't work. Or perhaps I should make it only a few yards at a time, so as it can still be used, just not to fast travel across the island. Fixed.Typo's:Beginning of the second paragraph, "laid" should be "lay". Ugh. *Glares at Microsoft Word* I bet you can't guess who told me "lay" was the wrong word to use. Fixed.All in all sound like a very good rpg! Very mysterious, you almost make me want to play just so I can find out what secrets it holds! Thanks for the review!

[Toa Kovolta]

My stuff in red:

Prelude: "Takanuva hovered in space for a long moment. He wondered what would happen in Tuyet's universe with her gone. Would the Toa become protectors again? Would the Matoran take control? Or would some group of the Dark Hunters and Makuta become new dictators?" -Takanuva's thoughts after his departure from the Dark Mirror Universe Current Situation: After Takanuva's departure, and the victory of Pohatu's resistance, things finally seemed to settle down for once.....until.The two remaining Makuta on Metru-Nui: Krika and Teridax, who has reclaimed his Kraakhan before the Toa could get it first. He and Krika, corrupted many supporters of the Toa and began a rebellion. The Makuta summoned their former minions. //could use rewording//->{Most beings who answered the call seeked power, only to worry of they would be taken over again.} Although on the brink of destruction, the Makuta were successful in conquering Metru-Nui. Karzhinni answered tha call by sending his Matoran slaves to Ta Metru for slave labor. Roodaka gave the Makuta highly trained technicians forom Xia. Mainly Skakdi and other various species came to help the Makuta as well. With all these newcomers, the Toa were caught off guard.[insert space]Many Toa were unprepared and killed, such as Pohatu. Many Toa vanished during the Makuta's rise to power.[insert space]This led to two other resistances called Pohatu's Legion and The Peacekeeper Sect. After the emergence of these factions, the Sea Gates mysteriously closed shut. Nothing has been able to open them, despite the actions of the Makutan Caliphate, Peacekeeper Sect, and Pohatu's Legion. Threse disricts were made despite the control of many faction, only being held together by strands of Matoran.//Very interesting. Great idea of continuing this story to see where it would go. Takanuva really did leave it in quite a mess didn't he.// Locations:Metru-Nui was converted into four whole districts. The Coliseum has its own district. E and each Metru has its private defence force.District 1: District 1 is made up of the Ta and Ga Metrus. They are the basis ofor manafacturing and learning. Most of the Ta-Matoran go to Ga-Metru, to learn how to craft, rather than their original home. Both Metrus live mostly in harmony, although they are plagued by gangs. Ga-Matorans instruct the Ta-Matoran on a daily basis. The Great Furnace was reconstructed into a massive manafacturing line,[insert space]dubbed the Construis//love the name//, creating thousands of Rakhshi shells(Artificial Rahkshi) and Exo-Vahki components. The Great Temple was reformed into a sprawling learning hub that monitored the Constuis' manafacture rate. Currently, the Construis is facing internal problems from an unknown saboteur//nice word choice!//.District 2: District 2 is the Onu and Po Metrus. The Po-Matoran work on making new inventions, like new weapons and technology rather. The Onu-Matoran work on recording the history and gaining new data to further expand their ever growing Archive. Numerous times were punished Matoran were put into slave labor, from this meant dealing with a loose rahi to disarming online exposives in the tunnels. Both Metrus are thriving, although a Onu-Matoran data archive party recently dissapeared int the Sculpture Fields.District 3: District 3 contains the Ko and Le Metrus. Ko-Metru is a hub for ideas and scientific discoveries. The Ko-Matoran work to make new ideologies and theories. They have begaun to research on prosthetics. Le-Metru is a testbed of sorts. From experimenting on biological weapons to new vehicles, Le-Metru is the place for it. The Le-Matoran work on the testing and transport control. Most items are contracted to here. Recently, a large swarm of Phase Dragons were having a skirmish with the LMDF (Le-Metru Defence Force).//What about the Coliseum what is its main purpose in this new Metru-Nui? Very interesting way of redesigning the interworkings of the metrus, I like it.// Factions:Makutan Caliphate: The Makutan Caliphate is one of the various governments in Metru-Nui. Teridax and Krika founded it after their conquering of the most of the island. It is based in the Coliseum. Their goal is to 'free' the island from the 'flawed ones'. Most of their feared power comes from Ta-Metru, which constructs war machines, give the Makutan Caliphate complete power. Teridax and Krika rule with an iron fist and usually slaughter their citizens because they are arfraid of another faction. If their leaders were to die, the most powerful operative will take the Makuta's place. Due to the fact many labor forces are weakening, war machines have been in high demand and the Caliphate is slowly creating them. If there was a strong enough task force to destroy the Construis, the Makuta would be crippled.Pohatu's Legion: Pohatu's Legion is the second largest government in Metru-Nui. It is mostly based in Ga and Po-Metru. Pohatu's Legion is headed by Turaga Lesovikk. Lesovikk sacrificed his Toa power into sixthree Toa stones, each belonging to a Matoranthree of which have already created new toa: Jurgik Toa of Sonics; Lefric, Toa of Air; and Urhik, Toa of Psionics. His other three stones remaining stones's locations isare unknown. The faction was named after Pohatu's successful rebellion agaist Tuyet. Turaga Lesovikk strives to free the people of Metru-Nui. Pohatu's Legion specifies in infiltration and tactics. They have a master navy force that rivals to the Makutan Caliphate's land force.Peacekeeper Sect: The Peacekeeper Sect is a moderate government in Metru-Nui. It is lead by Darkness. Many former Dark Hunters were absorbed into this faction. //could use rewording//->{The name is just a ploy to convert more people to peacefulness, hence the name.} Most of Le-Metru follow the Peacekeeping Sect only because they're too naive to notice Darkness' real agenda. The main area of interest would be the Moto Hub, which now creates airships that rival Pohatu's Legion's Navy and the Makutan Caliphate's land force.Neutral: Neutral is the scene of fighting between all of the factions. Many people here are contested between their loyalty to the factions, and are otherwise known as Neutrals.//I like how you give each of the factions a different kind of main army. Land for the Makuta, Navy for Pohatu's Legion and Air for the Peacekeeper's Sect. I also like how the factions' areas of control don't have the same borders as the metrus.//---------------------------------------------------------Character Creation: Here is an example:

Name:Gender:Alignment:Powers/Abilities:Species:Weapons: (No over powered weapons)Appearance: (Be descricptive)Personality:Bio:Weakness: (Absolutely necessary.)

No Masks of Time, Creation, Life, Dimensional Gates, Shadow, Light, or Emulation. Custom masks need to be approved.Peacekeeper Sect: Any kind of speciesMakutaria: All BoM associated beings (Unless I do not approve)Pohatu's Legion: Any kind of speciesCustom species need to be approved. Rules:1. Follow all BZRPG and BZP rules2. No goddmoding. No exception!3. Warnings will be sent if you disobey the rules. You only get three strikes. On the second strike, your character will lose many items. On the last strike, you will be banned from this RPG4. Have Fun!//Very interesting rp with many possiblities. I really like how it explores a known story that was never really concluded. All the story elements are good, though you might want to work on your spell check and sentence strucure in a few places.//

Review of "Enemies of Justice" by Toatapio NuvaNice quote at the beginning.Intro:Love the setting! A nice little twist in there, in that Makuta is now sort of the good guy.End of fourth paragraph: "within thr universe" should be "the".Metru Nui:Everything seems to be guarded by Rahkshi, this phrase is a little too repetitive for my liking.Gameplay:Looks good.All in all, this rpg has a very interesting theme. However, it's missing a few things like rules and a character sheet. Edited December 11, 2011 by Toa Kovolta

[EmperorWhenua]

Review of Epoch of Despair (9 Stars)8 Points for Originality – I really like this RPG, and it feels pretty original, especially when compared to others. So far nothing quite good enough to receive a 9, but this is cutting it close.5 Points for Bionicle Feeling – It really feels like a Bionicle setting, which I appreciate.10 Points for Attention to Detail – You don’t bring up questions we aren’t supposed to be asking to ourselves.Final Notes: It looks pretty good. Only being a matoran kind of bugs me, but I understand why – thus, nothing was docked off for being restrictive. You did a lot of those. Anyways, eventually being able to make our own factions, the elemental theme, etc. all intrigues me – which is, of course, why I use such. So yeah, I like it.

Cool, cool.

Alright, here's my review of Epoch of Despair by the epic EmperorWhenua.To begin with, the prologue is adequately enticing, and it definitely made me interested in the overarching story of the RPG. It's not a very original premise, honestly - times of prosperity abound, then something happens, then everything gets deathy, people go on a quest to save the universe, yadda yadda yadda - but it's a sufficient one and in hands as competent as yours it's likely to succeed. Plus, I don't know the intricacies of the plot like you do, so perhaps you have some devilish twists up your sleeves, eh? Only time will tell I suppose.

You're right. It's not the most original of premises, it's certainly one of the most common in fact. Virtually all literature dealing with hardships starts with the same basic idea. But that's because it's a workable and easy one to manage, and it reflects the same on RPGs. I tried to set the pieces up on the board so that there are so many conflicts waiting to erupt into full-scale wars that it's almost impossible for a player to do something without exciting some sort of energy, but there is a hidden element that has not been revealed, either. The Big Bad isn't even a blip on the radar yet, and the promise of more is the basis the game is founded on.

I must note that I love the Toa's names. That doesn't really have anything to do with the RPG, but I had to state it. Did you derive them from Latin or were they more random than that?

A couple of them are hand-me-downs from my fantasizing years ago, but a few are ones I made up on the spot. None were derived from Latin words or anything like that, though.

So, this is a quasi-sandbox RPG, then? As in, the players are the main proponents of the plot, with you occasionally butting in to add direction? I like it. Admittedly, sandbox RPGs aren't my favorite, but as long as they work I'm okay with them.

Correct. This is a formula I've worked with before and permits the most fluidity of game mechanics, plot, and character development, so it keeps everybody happy.

The map is beautifully rendered. It's sufficiently informative while also being an aesthetic delight. Really, excellent work on that. Did you make it on Photoshop, or are you a Power-point wizard like bonesii?

None of the above. XD It was completely made using a couple apps on my iPad. Harmonious and SketchBook Pro, I believe.

The descriptions of the locations, while not very vivid, gave me a satisfactory mental picture of each region. Although, the following sentence kind of irked me:

To be a Ta-Matoran is to stand for justice and perseverance at all odds.

I believe you meant to say against all odds there at the end. At all odds doesn't quite work. That's the only glaring error I saw as far as grammar goes.

Good. I'll go and fix that error soon, too.

To be honest, this RPG was seeming a bit bland until I got to the "Organizations" section. You gave me a great sense of all the different factions that inhabit Kini Karda, and they all seem very unique. I definitely appreciate how you don't fall into the classic tradition of having a clear-cut "good" and "evil" faction. I much prefer having a collection of factions which are well-intentioned and just have different goals and worldviews, and that's exactly what you've done here. Also, warrior monks. Freaking warrior monks. Heck freaking yes. How has this not happened yet?

I prefer seeing things in shades of gray. Black and whites are just sooo... boring. All the factions are just trying to accomplish their goals of order, it's just that some paths are more twisted than the others.

I assume that you will regulate these "Kanoka-powers," yes? I mean, after all, 'Reconstitute at Random' is a Kanoka disk but you wouldn't want someone to have that power. Admittedly, it has a 50-50 chance of being useful, but it has too much room for abuse in my opinion.

Yes, they will be regulated loosely. Plus, you have to imagine that these powers are intended to behave like Kanohi powers in virtually every aspect. Reconstitute at Random is not a very good Kanohi power, so it shouldn't be a power in this game, either. These aren't Kanoka, they're disklike weapons that can produce powers from the user's will. In fact, in retrospect, they don't even have to be disks, but any shape at all, really. I'll have to rethink that.

One problem that may not necessarily exist but I still perceive is that this RPG is going to have a slow start. I mean, none of the factions are stated as being actively at war with each other, nor do they have reasons to be at war with each other, so that means that there won't be much initial conflict at all. That's tolerable, but conflict for me is one of the driving factors of RPG's and one of the chief reasons I play them. Having to build up to a point where I can engage in PvP is a little annoying, which is one of the reasons I didn't like Cradle of Civilization that much. But maybe you do have some initial contact planned?

I think I answered this well enough in the first paragraph, but I can elaborate a little more here. There won't be much build up, since tensions are already high, and all it takes is for a character to kill one guy from the other side for war to boil. Plus, once the fighting starts, it's going to keep coming, and it's in the midst of all the turmoil that the real problems will arise and a bigger gun is brought out. Overall, this means a lot of fun.

Overall, I'd give it an 8.5/10. It seems like it's going to be a great RPG, but it's not my personal cup-of-tea. If it won, I'd play it, but I don't know if I'd vote for it.

You should vote for it. [/plug]

[Kal the Guardian]

The Island of PainAs much as it pains me to say. This RPG is about an island. Of pain. Introduction. Organisations should be organizations. Otherwise I love this intro. It's perfectly sinister.The RPG. Once again organisation should have that Z. This seems more friendly to the player, but ends up with them basically having no chance for survival. I love it.Locations. Nice map, even if a bit on the simple side. The locations themselves are well described and kept short, but still all seem dangerous.Enemies. For the Caretakers, how does them having Rahkshi armor give them the powers? It's still cool that they almost inherit the Rahkshi's power, though.Caches. As I did play the game until the GREAT RIFT (And end up carrying along 8 seperate characters that never posted again. Ugh), I do know that the rush to Caches is one of the most fun parts of the game.Profiles. Eh, look good. Except that I have no clue where to put the mask power.NPCs. There is no "(Link)" in Arillan's profile. Blinding White's profile has "...or seeing its as his responsibility." It shouldn't be "its", but "it". For Vertan's link, it says, for me at least, that the webpage was not found. Also, "Weapons/Equipment" isn't bolded there.All of these profiles seem very well done, but I'm guessing that all the ones that say "they replaced..." means that these are PCs. Or are they your NPCs?Rules are rules.Overall, I love this RPG. Well, which is why I already joined it once. There's not much to improve on, Mr. TPtI.

[Shyyrn]

Introduction. Organisations should be organizations. Otherwise I love this intro. It's perfectly sinister.

That's British spelling. TPTI is British.-Shyyrn

[Kal the Guardian]

Oh, wow. Scratch that then.

[Wyrd Bid Ful Araed]

Oh, wow. Scratch that then.

Hence also my use of 'colour' and 'centre' rather than 'color' and 'center'. Queen's English donchaknow, pip pip :PThe Vertan link doesn't work because its to BS01 which is down right now, so I'm not entirely sure what to do about that. But I'll go fix up the other things you pointed out Edited December 14, 2011 by The Power that Is

[Legolover-361]

3. As I said in reply to the first quote, Bionicle characters' brains are already mechanical; if anything, mental powers would be more effective, for while an organic brain isn't guaranteed to work the same as another, the mechanical brains ought to be very compatible.

I've never agreed with this - to me, the brain, heart, lungs, muscle tissue, whatever form of digestive track that exists, and the blood vessels that must be present (oxygen and nutrients need to somehow be transferred) are 100% organic, not mechanical. Like the bionic man, only with almost no organics. At the very least, the brain is completely biological, not robotic. Spirits are certainly present and released by the Iden; there is a metaphysical element involved.When I get hme from school I'll review Dreamland.-Toa Levacius Zehvor

We already know that the Matoran possess mechanical hearts, A.K.A. "heartlights". It follows that their brains would also be mechanical, at least partially. Muscles operate primarily on electrical impulses; if a Matoran's blood system skipped the brain and was instead directed straight to the muscles, that would make for an efficient build. That's how I see it, and that's about how Matoran biology will be defined in Techna, but as Techna is only fan-fiction there is some freedom of Matoran biology interpretation.

[Toa Kovolta]

Review of "Techna" by LegoloverFirst off, really love the theme! I'm a computer science guy, so a technological theme with coding and the like really hooks me in.Also, interesting choice of font, the monotype really emphasizes the theme.Intro:Hackers, viruses, sacrifices, a Toa of Plasma named Torch, brain implants... Sounds Great!History:A post storyline story, don't see many of those. I really like the rapid advancement in technology such as the S-toran. Ghost Program... intriguing.Techna:Looks good! though I would really love to see a map sometime soon.Just one thing here, When describing the Computer Knowlegde Centre (CKC) you use the term lower-left, not generally a term used when describing locations. Try southwest perhaps?Character creation:I really like how you integrate this into the story!One question though: if say I get bored of my body every two weeks or so, can I change it? Should work should it not. :PAbout the mask of time perception: I fail to see how this is any different than the mask of time itself... Time is only determined by our perception of it, thus time is perception. If I slow down my perception of time, am I not then slowing down time around me? Unless of course, all material objects such as our muscles still move at the same speed they normally would in which case, I fail to see the usefulness of such a mask.All in all looks like a great rpg, and I would definitely play it if it won!Review of "Bionicle: Mystery Voyage 2001" by ZorkelIntro:Nice way of incorporating it into the story.Districts:I like the use of greek letters(and how they somewhat correspond to their district, such as gamma - I assume because of gamma radiation?) and the various levels of clearance. The city seems well sectioned and I like how it's shaped in an octagon.Casinos:Do these play an important role in the game? If so, what?Citizens:Looks good.Factions:I find the name Big Brother very interesting.I like the mystery around this "Third Movement", although if players allowed to be part of this faction it would be kind of strange not knowing what their goal is...Forms and rules:Standard.Story Arcs:You don't often see this section in an rp. Gives us a little peek of what to expect in the game!Typos:In the very first paragraph, "by have no purpose", I'm assuming "by" should be "but".And there are several 21's in the mysteries section that should be 2001's.All in all, it looks good, though the setting has a high semblance to Techna imo. Big spaceship with a city in it, hacking, etc.

Edited December 16, 2011 by Toa Kovolta

[Legolover-361]

Techna:Looks good! though I would really love to see a map sometime soon.Just one thing here, When describing the Computer Knowlegde Centre (CKC) you use the term lower-left, not generally a term used when describing locations. Try southwest perhaps?

That was written in anticipation of a map. I'd use southwest, but that seems to be an odd term to use for a spaceship. I'll see if I can edit that after creating the map.

Character creation:I really like how you integrate this into the story!One question though: if say I get bored of my body every two weeks or so, can I change it? Should work should it not.

It definitely could work. The question is whether or not the authorities would let you try it.

About the mask of time perception: I fail to see how this is any different than the mask of time itself... Time is only determined by our perception of it, thus time is perception. If I slow down my perception of time, am I not then slowing down time around me? Unless of course, all material objects such as our muscles still move at the same speed they normally would in which case, I fail to see the usefulness of such a mask.

Your latter explanation is correct. The Mask of Time Perception slows everything down -- basically, it allows its user to heighten their reflexes (if you can see something coming, you can dodge it more easily) and view events in slow motion so as to be able to examine every detail. I bet some cunning roleplayers on BZPower will find more useful ways to use such a mask, though. :sly:I'm glad you like the RPG! I really must fashion a map soon.

[Kal the Guardian]

Knives in the DarkIntroduction. Very foreboding and with doom hanging all over the place. I like it. Although you suddenly switch gears in the middle of the paragraph into talking to the players. That's sort of strange and doesn't really flow correctly. Plus the first thing you tell us is that we can't go to the southern continent. And then go and basically say that we can't create our own faction, or at least that's how I see it. For the beginning of the RPG, this seems really restrictive.Profiles. Ok, I would personally save the profiles for later, perhaps after locations. This is because they don't add much to the story. As in they aren't the meat of the meal, but a dessert to be served last, if you understand what I mean. I don't think major story plots are to be found in reading through the profiles.Lord Darkon. When you don't know the gender, it's a general Grammar rule to use "he", not "he/she".Toa Decrax. Ok, so it appears that this could also be reasonably called the Factions section, I realize that that is what you're doing with these profiles.Ajax. Omni-potent? Do you mean omnipotent? Sorry I don't know if Omni-potent is actually a word. Anubis. "i'd go with Anubis" should have an "I", not "i".Well, these characters are interesting, but I think you could add more discription and seperate them into profiles and factions.Locations. Zakaz. "sturctures" is spelled wrong. Xia. "who are the main focus..." That sentence is just worded wrong. Karzahni. "Their normally dangerous weapons." is a fraction. Artakha. Teridax isn't capitalized. Stelt. Your should be You're. Otherwise locations are fine, due to there being only reason to tell us their use, since we know what they look like.How to play. Basically, not basic-ly. And for creating a character, we don't have to chose something that would go under a warlord, do we? Profile sheet. Ugh, keep the Bio short? You don't understand how short people try to get them anyway. Otherwise profiles are fine.Rules are rules.Overall, I think you could fix this up a little. Just look at some other great submissions, like the Island of Pain, and perhaps follow how TPtI lays out his RPG. Just a suggestion.Good luck in the contest!

[Simulacrum]

Thanks, for the review, the RPG needed it.I whipped up the RPG in three hours, so it really isn't a finished product, more of a prototype. I'll hopefully get around to editing those mess-ups soon.

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

Review of the Island (9 Stars)So, this is it, huh. I better be impressed..9 Points for Originality – The idea of being on Mata-Nui isn't a new one; the way you worked it, however, is. It certainly is a new idea though, as far as the toa being ghostly evil and Makuta being in charge. Only not really. All sorts of weird things.5 Points for Bionicle Feeling – It keeps and almost amplifies the original mystique of Bionicle, and yet still manages to keep everything as a Bionicle RPG. Which makes it enjoyable to read and look at.5 Points for Attention to Detail – Everything is detailed properly. Only one flaw I noted - I'm assuming you can only be of the original six elements, but it never says directly. Same for "can you be a Ta-Matoran in Le-Koro" and other things like that. I assume no; if otherwise, you might want to edit. Edit anyways.Final Notes: So how big is a Tahtorahk in your RPG? Would make an epic endboss. What about a stone rat? Size of a matoran instead of size of a... rat? I know it really isn't that restrictive of a thing, but being only a matoran with nothing special is kind of boring. Same for the fact that you're basically implying every single NPC and monster is under sole control of the GM. Which means that the RPG is heavily dependent on the GameMaster being every vigilant, and every once in a while could put a halt to all operations. Finally, is High Priest Karzahni a matoran, or actually the big bad Karzahni....I should be subtracting the attention to detail, but since you're purposefully making us ask questions, I don't know which is the GM being forgetful and what is something that's a mystery.-Toa Levacius Zehvor

[The Captain]

Review of the Island (9 Stars)So, this is it, huh. I better be impressed..9 Points for Originality – The idea of being on Mata-Nui isn't a new one; the way you worked it, however, is. It certainly is a new idea though, as far as the toa being ghostly evil and Makuta being in charge. Only not really. All sorts of weird things.5 Points for Bionicle Feeling – It keeps and almost amplifies the original mystique of Bionicle, and yet still manages to keep everything as a Bionicle RPG. Which makes it enjoyable to read and look at.5 Points for Attention to Detail – Everything is detailed properly. Only one flaw I noted - I'm assuming you can only be of the original six elements, but it never says directly. Same for "can you be a Ta-Matoran in Le-Koro" and other things like that. I assume no; if otherwise, you might want to edit. Edit anyways.Final Notes: So how big is a Tahtorahk in your RPG? Would make an epic endboss. What about a stone rat? Size of a matoran instead of size of a... rat? I know it really isn't that restrictive of a thing, but being only a matoran with nothing special is kind of boring. Same for the fact that you're basically implying every single NPC and monster is under sole control of the GM. Which means that the RPG is heavily dependent on the GameMaster being every vigilant, and every once in a while could put a halt to all operations. Finally, is High Priest Karzahni a matoran, or actually the big bad Karzahni....I should be subtracting the attention to detail, but since you're purposefully making us ask questions, I don't know which is the GM being forgetful and what is something that's a mystery.-Toa Levacius Zehvor

Essentially amplify most Rahi by the size of four and you'll get a basic idea of what we're talking about. Although Tahtorak's are already pretty massive and rare, so I wouldn't worry about the rule concerning those. We're most concerned with the original 2001 species.And yes, thank you, I will need to make clear about the Matoran factor. Matoran are free to wander and live wherever, although each Koro has its own distinctive culture and accepts others rarely. The character sheet makes it clear the basic six elemental bases are the ones allowed. Le-Koro is extremely isolated so players will likely be the first to showcase characters who have seen both sides of the Island and lived to tell about it. Players will need to be street-wise when they visit foreign cities - just in the real world, foreigners are not always welcome and will need to integrate accordingly to avoid trouble.Regarding Matoran's lack of strength, I raise you that you have an advantage of numbers with fellow players and resourcefulness of weapons. Onu-Koro specializes in steam-punk technology, so depending on how you get it and how you use it, limited technology is and will be allowed. And standard bow and arrow and swords are enough against Rahi if you have intellect and strategy on your side. We really want to stress brain over brawn in this game. Most games stress who has the most brute power in a character and use it to loophole around smarts before rushing into a battle. We want brawn to be the last thing on your mind when fighting these things.As for the GMing of NPCs, there is far more for players to do (and must do) beyond defending from Rahi. The Rahi attacks will be surprises by us to keep you guys on your toes, not plot-driving events. All plot-events are entirely pushed by players - we've made sure of this. It will start with the burgeoning inquisition/crusade, but it will become much more of a mystery-thriller/survival game rather than the survival game it looks like now.We've given this a lot of thought and consideration and we're very positive that the game can work on its own even if all three GMs disappeared for a week or so. By the start of the game there will be so much interaction required with one another and puzzles to solve that the game should run smoothly on its own for a long time.It'll be different than past installments of ours, for sure.What and who Karzahni is will be revealed in-game, but it is important to note that this is a revamp of the original 2001 mythology largely inspired by MNOLG and the dark atmosphere it portrayed. Come into this game like you did MNOLG in 2001 - knowing nothing, expecting anything. This is a fresh take and incorporates new ideas that are not in the canon. Call it an alternant reality if you want, but keep in mind that just because something bears the same name as a canon entity does not mean it is anything like that thing.This will be touched upon if we add an NPC section, which is likely. Edited December 18, 2011 by The Captain

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

I understand completely. While it's not the one I most look forward to playing, given the almost certainty of it winning, I will enjoy doing so.And figuring out what to do with a pike and a whip.EDIT: Can we assume players get the benefits inherent with each elemental ability (Ta- fire resistance, Ga - longer time breathing underwater, etc.)-Toa Levacius Zehvor

Edited December 18, 2011 by Toa Levacius Zehvor

[The Captain]

I understand completely. While it's not the one I most look forward to playing, given the almost certainty of it winning, I will enjoy doing so.And figuring out what to do with a pike and a whip.EDIT: Can we assume players get the benefits inherent with each elemental ability (Ta- fire resistance, Ga - longer time breathing underwater, etc.)-Toa Levacius Zehvor

Yes, we will make this clearer as different GMs finish finals and can cram everything in there we've forgotten to mention, but yes, Le-Korans have natural camouflage, Ga can hold their breath longer, Ta are fire resistant, Onu have sharper eyesight and Po are stronger. Use these to your advantage.

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

It is most certainly safe to say that giving yourself twenty professions is out the door. No Jack-of-all-Trades. :PIf Kini-Nui has yet to be discovered, we can probably assume the same for Kumu Islets. Not that going to an area where the worst Rahi of all live, where Rahi are nastier and bigger than normal to begin with, and you have no elemental protection, is the smartest thing to do.Now, I mean, you could charge into the high temple to fight Karzahni with a toothpick. That might be a dumber thing. But not by much. :|Which begs me ask - what are the beliefs as far as the Great Beings? Is Karzahni supposedly named after the domain Karzahni, or do Karzahni & Artahka, the magical domains they were thought to be, not even exist as legends?-Toa Levacius Zehvor

[The Captain]

It is most certainly safe to say that giving yourself twenty professions is out the door. No Jack-of-all-Trades. :PIf Kini-Nui has yet to be discovered, we can probably assume the same for Kumu Islets. Not that going to an area where the worst Rahi of all live, where Rahi are nastier and bigger than normal to begin with, and you have no elemental protection, is the smartest thing to do.Now, I mean, you could charge into the high temple to fight Karzahni with a toothpick. That might be a dumber thing. But not by much. :|Which begs me ask - what are the beliefs as far as the Great Beings? Is Karzahni supposedly named after the domain Karzahni, or do Karzahni & Artahka, the magical domains they were thought to be, not even exist as legends?-Toa Levacius Zehvor

There is no other land or geographical area other than The Island and anything touching it. All good questions that players will have to uncover.

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

A few more questions for the island -Do the Vuata Maca still provide the villages energy?Are all of the flora essentially the same?Are widgets the currency used?Is it standard that protodermis is used to make everything like weapons and stuff - metallic protodermis being the only thing available for use, as protosteel did not exist on Mata-Nui, save possibly in the Mangaia.EDIT - Are the matoran all in their weakened states, rebuilt states, or normal states?-Toa Levacius Zehvor

Edited December 18, 2011 by Toa Levacius Zehvor

[The Captain]

A few more questions for the island -Do the Vuata Maca still provide the villages energy? I didn't even know this existed until I just looked it up, and honestly it isn't important. Torchlight, light stone, lava, and steam are the main sources of power, period.Are all of the flora essentially the same? I guess. Darker, maybe.Are widgets the currency used? People trade with what they find valuable, more of a bartering system, but I suppose the minutia of widgets can be applied when apt. Is it standard that protodermis is used to make everything like weapons and stuff - metallic protodermis being the only thing available for use, as protosteel did not exist on Mata-Nui, save possibly in the Mangaia. Anything used in MNOLG that we knew about in 2001 is used. Mostly natural resources and anything built out of Ta, Po, and Onu workforces. Protodermis is around if you dig deep enough but it's not plentiful enough for it to be a common good.EDIT - Are the matoran all in their weakened states, rebuilt states, or normal states? They're just villagers. They can vary in the same way people can vary - the entire backstory of Bionicle is irrelevant here, so there is no "state." They're just villagers, people trying to survive in a very dangerous place.-Toa Levacius Zehvor

[Legolover-361]

I've finally added a map to Techna. I also have four co-hosts, three of whose Toa Techna profiles have been posted. Any updated feedback would be appreciated.

[BenLuke]

A review of Legolover-361's Techna:The banner is really cool.A post-Bionicle-storyline setting is something that doesn't seem to be used very much.That map is very nice. The names of the locations are sort of basic and generic, although that seams to fit with the idea of a sterile spaceship environment.[Nitpick] quantum entanglement is useless as a form of faster then light communication because it requires another form of contact between the sender and the retriever for anyone to understand the message. [Nitpick/]There doesn't seem to be any specific rules about what kind of implants you can use, although since all profiles are staff approved I suppose that won't be a major problem.Over all interesting RPG, you got my vote.

[Kal the Guardian]

Epoch of DespairOpening. I really like this. Although the use of "old man" sort of threw me along with "boy" and the like. It's just that I don't really like to describe Matoran like that. Though I do appreciate how you seem to call the two characters here different things each time you mention them while still having us understand who is who.Introduction. So this is a basic story, but very well told. I love how the island is breaking down. Although the Toa must live somewhere or else the island should be mostly gone, At least that's what it seems to me. Or the Toa place their power in objects to keep the island together. This concept and my questioning are definately good and so far I am hooked.Tl;dr. Anyway. The last sentence is totally awkward. "You must save the island, and finding the toa, unlocking the secrets of the island and changing the course of history forever come along in your journey." What are you trying to say! Gameplay. Matoran? Sad (Uber powers can not be used. ). Although minor powers are good. Otherwise this seems more like a thinking game to accomplish what we want to do, which is also a plus. Although if no other species can be played at this time and we might unlock toa later, when will we get to play as other species? Will we ever be able to?Geography. Well, it being an artificial island is a very interesting concept and will provide for some very interesting descriptions. Nice, if a bit strange, map.Po-Wahi. Wouldn't the natural moat be filled with sand eventually? And, "...the river is almost made from this air..." What does that mean?Le-Wahi. "The lucky ones have hits in the giant tree's..." Lol, hits.Onu-Wahi. You use plural caves and caverns and then use "it" to describe the caves and caverns twice. It should be "them".Otherwise the locations are beautiful. They are original (due to the artificialness of the island) and very well described.Factions. The Elders. "They are the closest there is to a turaga..."Order of Calix. "...few are as devoted as they and take part in their activities." ?? Ok what? Are you saying others don't take part or that they do?Besides those wording errors, these factions are unique to island and I really like them. Although I do not know which one I would put backing into, since they all seem to be gray at the moment.NPCs. Arrys. "...and some murmur tat since..." Despite not using a proper profile sheet for them, these NPCs are really interesting and I would love to see more of them.Matoran Powers. The second sentence should be less awkward, like this, "It is a round disk that possesses a power, granted by the toa-gods, to the matoran who owns it. The power is specific to that matoran." But really this is a great way to give us powers as Matoran. And you make it so there isn't too much of a point to steal them except to stop the user from using them. Although no one knows how to craft a mask from them? No one has figured it out? I'm guessing powers are limited in the profile section.Character Sheet. The Profile is basic, but it works. Although I don't see any limits on the power disk, I'm sure you would just say something is too powerful before approving it. But I do want an example for how powerful a disk can be to base mine off of. No Factions slot?Rules are rules and these are somewhat funny to me.Overall I love how simple this appears and yet how complex it can be. This is definately a winning RPG, even with the limited use of only Matoran.Good luck in the contest!

[Legolover-361]

[Nitpick] quantum entanglement is useless as a form of faster then light communication because it requires another form of contact between the sender and the retriever for anyone to understand the message. [Nitpick/]

Quantum entanglement allows the properties of one particle / atom / molecule to change with its entangled partner's; a compatible piece of technology, the quantum computer, will use particles' / atoms' spins as data points; thus, if a quantum computer were programmed to understand the changes in properties of entangled particles / atoms / molecules and interpret them as data points, faster-than-light communication via quantum entanglement would be entirely possible.Otherwise, thanks for the positive review.

[EmperorWhenua]

Epoch of DespairOpening. I really like this. Although the use of "old man" sort of threw me along with "boy" and the like. It's just that I don't really like to describe Matoran like that. Though I do appreciate how you seem to call the two characters here different things each time you mention them while still having us understand who is who.Introduction. So this is a basic story, but very well told. I love how the island is breaking down. Although the Toa must live somewhere or else the island should be mostly gone, At least that's what it seems to me. Or the Toa place their power in objects to keep the island together. This concept and my questioning are definately good and so far I am hooked.

The use of "old man" and "boy" are just used as allegorical expressions to show the vast difference between the matoran villager and the matoran elder. I wasn't actually saying that they were different in ages, though.The island is gradually disintegrating due to the laws of thermodynamics. Because it really is a huge chunk of land, it's rather hard for it to vanish in one go, so that explains why it's rotting away so slowly. As for the toa living there still or not... no comment. But you are partially correct about placing power in objects. The island is rife with mechanisms to keep it functional, and those things are attributed to the toa-gods. The temples scattered across the island, such as the Kini-Toa and the mountain hideout used by the Order of Calix, were built by the gods and serve a purpose the matoran cannot detect, let alone comprehend.

Tl;dr. Anyway. The last sentence is totally awkward. "You must save the island, and finding the toa, unlocking the secrets of the island and changing the course of history forever come along in your journey." What are you trying to say!

Pretty much exactly what I said. The primary goal is to save the island. If you don't save it, everyone dies and there is no point to it. In order to save the island, you have to find the toa. There is the mystery of what happened to the gods, where they went, if they abandoned the island or there is something sinister afoot (hint: there is), etc. Obviously, by figuring out what's happening, the players unlock the secrets of the island. There are a lot of these. The intro subtly establishes the lack of knowledge the inhabitants have on their home, with even the Elders having limits to their knowledge. And it goes without saying that once the above is done, history would have been changed. Any more questions?

Gameplay. Matoran? Sad (Uber powers can not be used. ). Although minor powers are good. Otherwise this seems more like a thinking game to accomplish what we want to do, which is also a plus. Although if no other species can be played at this time and we might unlock toa later, when will we get to play as other species? Will we ever be able to?

Yup, more questions.What other species? None were mentioned, and it can be assumed that the island is the only one in the area. The toa-gods made it far away from other civilizations for specific reasons. So suffice to say, there will be no other species available to play save the first two stages of a matoran life.

Geography. Well, it being an artificial island is a very interesting concept and will provide for some very interesting descriptions. Nice, if a bit strange, map.Po-Wahi. Wouldn't the natural moat be filled with sand eventually? And, "...the river is almost made from this air..." What does that mean?Le-Wahi. "The lucky ones have hits in the giant tree's..." Lol, hits.Onu-Wahi. You use plural caves and caverns and then use "it" to describe the caves and caverns twice. It should be "them".Otherwise the locations are beautiful. They are original (due to the artificialness of the island) and very well described.

So you found all my typos. XD Try these: "Made of thin air," and "huts in the [...] tree."I wanted to explore the possibility of an island not being an island after all, something we were confronted with with Mata Nui being Mata Nui's obscured face more than an actual island. What it all boils down to, however, is that the island is filled with specific things that serve specific purposes, either to support the island infrastructure or maintain an artificial aura, since it is artificial. With that in mind, one must know that nothing in the setting is truly natural save gravity and the other laws of nature. The sand river is an example of this. The moat doesn't fill because it was created that way, and there are failsafes to prevent catastrophes that were not engineered. It's neither a shoo-in or a deus ex, it's just the way it was made to be.

Factions. The Elders. "They are the closest there is to a turaga..."Order of Calix. "...few are as devoted as they and take part in their activities." ?? Ok what? Are you saying others don't take part or that they do?Besides those wording errors, these factions are unique to island and I really like them. Although I do not know which one I would put backing into, since they all seem to be gray at the moment.NPCs. Arrys. "...and some murmur tat since..." Despite not using a proper profile sheet for them, these NPCs are really interesting and I would love to see more of them.

Yes, they're meant to be gray. I hate cut out sides in a conflict. All sides have equal reasons to be greater and maintain influence, and they're all justifiable in their own ways.As for the Order of Calix, imagine them as a highly idealistic and fanatic group who really, really want to save the island and find the toa. The thing is they are superstitious and have very demanding practices, from rituals to temple-hunting and living like monks high in the mountains practicing martial arts. Not exactly the fitting job description for most villagers who fish, hunt, make flax, guard towns or carve statues. While many of the villagers support what the Order of Calix is doing and they have similar faiths as the former priests, they can or don't want to actually give what it takes to be a member of the organization.But there is also a missing word in the sentence, too, so that might explain your confusion.

Matoran Powers. The second sentence should be less awkward, like this, "It is a round disk that possesses a power, granted by the toa-gods, to the matoran who owns it. The power is specific to that matoran." But really this is a great way to give us powers as Matoran. And you make it so there isn't too much of a point to steal them except to stop the user from using them. Although no one knows how to craft a mask from them? No one has figured it out? I'm guessing powers are limited in the profile section.

Why limit them? I'd rather let the imaginations run free. If something is truly too powerful, I'd take notice of it and handle it, but otherwise a simple common sense test would be self-administered by the players.As for the mask issue, I didn't really think it through too much and invented that just to ensure there is no abuse of powers. Let's just say that it's trickier to forge a mask than it seems, and crafting is far from the main export of Ta-Koro in this island setting.

Character Sheet. The Profile is basic, but it works. Although I don't see any limits on the power disk, I'm sure you would just say something is too powerful before approving it. But I do want an example for how powerful a disk can be to base mine off of. No Factions slot?

No factions slot yet. I want the game to be running before factions can be invented, since factions need characters and motives, and there can't be any until the game is running. There is a promise that factions will be accepted later, though. That should be enough.Disks have been answered above.

Rules are rules and these are somewhat funny to me.

But all rules should be reiterated for those who don't know better. Better safe than sorry, etc. Plus, as a gamemaster, having rules helps maintain a standard when it comes to enforcing good RPing in the game itself. It's a necesarry item, and it pains me when an RPG doesn't have any. I don't approve RPGs in COT unless it has rules, either, and neither do any of the other Judges.

Overall I love how simple this appears and yet how complex it can be. This is definately a winning RPG, even with the limited use of only Matoran. Good luck in the contest!

Fwee!

[Kal the Guardian]

Tl;dr. Anyway. The last sentence is totally awkward. "You must save the island, and finding the toa, unlocking the secrets of the island and changing the course of history forever come along in your journey." What are you trying to say!

Pretty much exactly what I said. The primary goal is to save the island. If you don't save it, everyone dies and there is no point to it. In order to save the island, you have to find the toa. There is the mystery of what happened to the gods, where they went, if they abandoned the island or there is something sinister afoot (hint: there is), etc. Obviously, by figuring out what's happening, the players unlock the secrets of the island. There are a lot of these. The intro subtly establishes the lack of knowledge the inhabitants have on their home, with even the Elders having limits to their knowledge. And it goes without saying that once the above is done, history would have been changed. Any more questions?I know what the sentence means, it's just that I don't understand how it was worded. I still don't.

Gameplay. Matoran? Sad (Uber powers can not be used. ). Although minor powers are good. Otherwise this seems more like a thinking game to accomplish what we want to do, which is also a plus. Although if no other species can be played at this time and we might unlock toa later, when will we get to play as other species? Will we ever be able to?

Yup, more questions.What other species? None were mentioned, and it can be assumed that the island is the only one in the area. The toa-gods made it far away from other civilizations for specific reasons. So suffice to say, there will be no other species available to play save the first two stages of a matoran life.You said no other species would be allowed until later. And then you made it seem as if Toa were seperate from this, so I assumed you meant Skakdi or Vortixx or such.

Geography. Well, it being an artificial island is a very interesting concept and will provide for some very interesting descriptions. Nice, if a bit strange, map.Po-Wahi. Wouldn't the natural moat be filled with sand eventually? And, "...the river is almost made from this air..." What does that mean?Le-Wahi. "The lucky ones have hits in the giant tree's..." Lol, hits.Onu-Wahi. You use plural caves and caverns and then use "it" to describe the caves and caverns twice. It should be "them".Otherwise the locations are beautiful. They are original (due to the artificialness of the island) and very well described.

So you found all my typos. XD Try these: "Made of thin air," and "huts in the [...] tree."I wanted to explore the possibility of an island not being an island after all, something we were confronted with with Mata Nui being Mata Nui's obscured face more than an actual island. What it all boils down to, however, is that the island is filled with specific things that serve specific purposes, either to support the island infrastructure or maintain an artificial aura, since it is artificial. With that in mind, one must know that nothing in the setting is truly natural save gravity and the other laws of nature. The sand river is an example of this. The moat doesn't fill because it was created that way, and there are failsafes to prevent catastrophes that were not engineered. It's neither a shoo-in or a deus ex, it's just the way it was made to be.Well that just makes it even cooler.

Rules are rules and these are somewhat funny to me.

But all rules should be reiterated for those who don't know better. Better safe than sorry, etc. Plus, as a gamemaster, having rules helps maintain a standard when it comes to enforcing good RPing in the game itself. It's a necesarry item, and it pains me when an RPG doesn't have any. I don't approve RPGs in COT unless it has rules, either, and neither do any of the other Judges.My thoughts as well, it's just that you can't really review the rules section unless something is missing or incomplete. Edited December 21, 2011 by Kal the Guardian

[EmperorWhenua]

I suppose your entire post can be replied to with a simple comment that there were plenty of things that could have been clarified and remedied grammatically. xP

[Toa of Dancing]

Ringworld by TheMightyFightyI can see why you want a different name... I'll suggest some after I read it. But cool intro thing.Firtst on the history: why would skakdi be compliant? They would likely be the last to agree upon peace. Unless, of course, these are pre-experimentation skakdi, of which you would have to tell us their powers. Just saying. Besides that, the backstory is fine. Also, the first few times I read the name of the island as Mango Nui. XD We live on a giant fruit!'K, so you won't punish bad behavior and reward good behavior and such? Interesting.Again, I read "Mango." XD But anyways, factions are good. Slight error before "the blood of the father," though. Namely that the first quotation mark is a space off. Also that entire thing with those words being green just looks kinda "eh." That's nitpicking, though, so... Yeah, not really any other comments.Artifacts, eh? I can see people causing a big explosion with those crystals... Cool. Might want to add a few more, though, as this is an entire section.Hoo boy... ten NPCs? That's gonna be a tax on the memory. Then again, I'm saying this because I just group the council of my RPG into one profile. XD So yeah, I'll look into them in more detail if it wins. Seem good, though.A lot of locations, too. But I'll read these in detail, just 'cause. Ta-Wahi: Wouldn't it be black sand? Ga-Wahi: Biochemical weapons. =3 Le-Wahi: Flying fortress yaaaaaaaaay. Po-Wahi: I'm seeing a lot of these Madu launchers and trebuchets. =P I see a parallel between the Tower of Vulcar and the Tower of Babel. Onu-Wahi: So that oil is kept scalding at all times? 'K. Ko-Wahi: You do realize that makes the hole about seven miles wide (or ten or something like that), right? Mangaia: Should be "still use these buildings" Nu-Wahi: Hypocritical skakdi police? Of course! Ka-Wahi: Massive floating fortress sounds awesome. Also a pirates nest yay. So yeah, nice locations, if a bit many.Rules, Punishments, etc. are all fine and dandy. Normal, but fine.So, good RPG. I'd say it gets a straight 93/100, mainly because It isn't something that just jumps out at you, but it is a really well-written RPG. It's great. I suggest something like Fused Planet or Fused Island or Shattered Island. Maybe Merging Fate or Scarred Fate. Life in Pieces? Shattered Life or Fractured Fate? Darkness Resurfaced? Fruit Island? So yeah. Cool story bro. =P

Edited December 22, 2011 by Toa of Dancing

[Toa Kovolta]

I know I said, I was going to do some reviews a few days ago, but I never got around to it, so here they are now (just gonna do some small ones):Review of "Island of Pain" by TPTII have to say I really like the names you've come up with, "Shepherds of Flesh", "Yawning Sunder", and all the other location names, are all great!The concept of the rpg is also very cool! A game of hunt or be hunted.You also do a very good job of describing the locations, and I especially love the character bios.All in all it's a great rpg, and I can't really find anything to disagree with.Review of "Knives in the Dark" by Lord DarkonAnother one where Makuta won, interesting. I have to say, I've never been a fan of rpg's that occur throughout the whole MU, It just seems like too vast an area. However your descriptions of the factions and locations are great and detailed, and I like that!Review of "Epoch of Despair" by EWI really like the first bit. Very well written. Actually, the whole thing is wonderfully written! Map looks good, though it reminds me a lot of Voya Nui. Locations are nicely described. And the story premise is very good!All in all It looks like a great rpg! However, you must tell me who this "Vacant" is, I've never heard of this member .

[EmperorWhenua]

XD"Vacant" will transform into a real member if and when the game is voted into reality. I wanted the game to be completely mine because it is my first entry and, not to sound selfish or anything, wanted it to be totally my original. Even Swert, who is credited, had little to do with the process. But at the same time, the more qualified co-GMs entered stuff of their own, too, so my fellow moderator shall be selected from the pool of failures.Har har, I said a funny. ... What, you no likey dry humour?