Master Inika

Those MOCs are awesome. Decibat is a cool concept. I have no strong opinion about what color the Heroes' visors should be, but I like the idea of a manticore villain. I think that would work well with CCBS.

Jokes aside, this was an excellent first chapter. It feels the most like the aftermath of a real war set in the BIONICLE universe, unlike the battles against the Rahi or even something like the Toa-Dark Hunter War, that always felt fun and kid-friendly. Your writing really captures the futility of it. On the surface, it reads kind of like the typical "grimdark" fiction that non-fans probably think BIONICLE fanfics are like, but this is actually well-written and feels like an ideal version of trope. The characters are grounded and relatable. And the cliffhanger ending I did not see coming. I am excited for the next chapter.

He/She looks awesome! It looks like something out a Miyazaki movie. It looks almost animated, with so many flowing green pieces that make it look like camouflage to blend in with the jungle. I had to do a double take because it looks like it must share some obvious piece with Umarak the Hunter, but the more I look at it, I realize it does not seem to. I had some criticism for the small organic-looking foot design on Kyrehx, but I think it fits much better here, since it makes Rakau look like a barefoot wind spirit.

I love the limb designs. (I have seen that 2x2 inverted curved tile piece used that way for elbows before though, and I have to ask, it's not actually poseable like a ball joint, is it? I imagine it is good for sculptures that can be posed but not played with.) She looks weirdly anorexic. I'm not sure if that's intentional but the organic-ness of the appearance makes it look more noticeable than Ehlek or Takadox, for example. I am also not sure how I feel about the feet. The actual design is very creative but they look more like unarmored Matoran feet. Under the legs, it looks like she is barefoot with cargo shorts. There are a lot of good building techniques to create unique shapes and it looks very organic and natural, but I do not think they come together to create an ideal Toa body.

Thank you for the kind words. In writing this, I took some of Greg Farshtey's advice to put my protagonist in situations without planning how he'd get out of them, and I have to admit, you can surprise yourself with what kind of plot twists you can come up with by doing that. Hero Factory had a lot of potential to be almost like a kid-friendly version of Blade Runner and I'm pretty disappointed it never tapped into it, but I guess I can't be surprised LEGO went for something light and approachable after BIONICLE. You're totally right about me not describing anything. I have no idea why it never occurred to me to. Descriptions are usually one of my favorite parts of writing sci-fi. To be honest, this was almost a personal challenge to me. Some parts of the Hero Factory storyline were better than others, but I would never necessarily say it was actually good, so I wanted to challenge myself to make something readable even if I didn't think all the parts were there. Usually, when I write BIONICLE fanfiction, I just naturally describe stuff because I'm interested in what they look like, but Hero Factory's design language I just find goofy and hard to take seriously, so I might have subconsciously not wanted to bring attention to that. But you're right, it would have made the story better to offer something. If it had been pointed out to me earlier, I would have tried factoring descriptions in more, but I have just published the final chapter (which I had written before I got this message). I will definitely keep that in mind in the next venture.

Chapter 10 The craft landed on the outskirts of Bardobi City, though with Motherboard plugged into their planet-wide defense grid, the villains certainly knew of their approach. The only reason they were not blasted out of the sky, Wane surmised, was because the villains wanted to see if they were emissaries of the Factory come to accept the villains' terms. That, or the villains looked forward to an old-fashioned fight with the privilege of seeing their victims' faces up close. From a distance, Bardobi Prime appeared a clean, crisp green. The planet-wide ecumenopolis was covered with artificial foliage and automated self-maintenance systems, both of which appeared green. The capital, though, stood out by its new color: blue, the color of Motherboard's corrupting influence. "That's another drone, point five-three of us," Rush announced. It was the fourth such drone the group had noticed. "Ignore it, for now," Fall ordered. "They're not going to give us trouble until the bad bots realize we're not here to accept their terms." Crossing the hill, the three Heroes found the capital city. Even from a distance, they could make out the look of terror on the civilians' faces. The civilian hostages formed a ring of living shields, protecting the crooks from a direct assault. The civilians were not physically bound in place. Had they all run away at the same time, some of them might have escaped. The dozens upon dozens of floating sentinels, though, made it unlikely the survivors would be very many. Fall leaned into Rush as they approached. "You ready?" Rush replied: "It's charging up. Get Gravedigger talking. I just need another minute or two." Gravedigger, clad in black armor with a skull-like helmet covering his face, looked more like a student-bot dressed up for a costume party than an actual criminal mastermind. Wane supposed that was part of his cover, though, appearing less fearsome than he really was. Motherboard and Heatwave, though, looked every bit as dangerous as he had been led to believe, standing on either side of their leader. "Welcome, Heroes!" Gravedigger called. His voice, too, was high and not particularly commanding. Wane wondered just what Gravedigger had said to his two accomplices to gain their trust in the first place. "I trust your creator has made the right choice?" Fall stepped forward, nodding to Rush before she did. "That depends," she called out in response. "He's told us, against my own advice, to offer you one last chance to release these innocent bots. It's not too late, Gravedigger. Call this off now, and your cooperation will be duly noted at your trial." Behind his mask, Gravedigger might have frowned. "You don't get it, do you, Hero?" he said. "The cards are not in your hand. Perhaps you need a demonstration..." Gravedigger whispered to Motherboard, who, with a wave of her hand, beckoned a pair of floating sentinels to single out a random civilian from the trembling crowd. Goaded to the center of the square, clear in the sight of everyone, the civilian was made to kneel before the Heroes as the sentinels' weapons charged up. Rush's own device had been fully charged, though. Without a word, he raised his own arms and mentally activated his antivirus, sending a wave of power surging through the entire square. Every sentinel fell to the ground as the blue energy on the walls and floors, representing Motherboard's influence, fought chaotically against the green energy of the city's systems for control. One of the sentinels, as it fell, fired a blast of energy which narrowly missed the civilian's head. "Everyone, run!" Fall ordered, and chaos and pandemonium broke out in the square. The sentinels which had been hovering high above everyone were damaged when they struck the floor, but none of them had been fully disabled. In only a few minutes, Motherboard's influence would be reestablished, and since she knew what Rush was capable of now, she wouldn't just stand back while he recharged for another antivirus surge. Motherboard bore the full brunt of her power on Rush, swinging her powerful legs at his head, forcing him onto the defensive as he moved backward, careful not to bring their battle closer to any of the fleeing civilians. Heatwave moved against Wane, but Fall intercepted him, Heatwave's fireblasts and the constant stream of water from Fall's hose quickly covering the entire battlefield in a thick layer of misty fog. Wane could still see Gravedigger retreating deeper into the city, though, and following in pursuit, dodging blasts from the reactivated sentinels and distressed civilians rushing about. Exiting the storm of mist and screaming, Wane found his target attempting to board the Chain Reaper. Just as Gravedigger entered the craft, the cockpit about to close and seal, Wane's knife flew through the air, lodging itself in the seat by Gravedigger's leg and preventing the cockpit from properly sealing. As the villain reached down to remove the weapon, Wane himself flew through the air next, landing a kick to Gravedigger and sending him flying out of the side of his own vehicle. Retrieving his tool, Wane slowly moved toward his captive, who was still on his back, crawling backward away from him. "So, that's it?" Wane taunted. "Your plan's gone bad, now you're just leaving your friends to clean up your mess?" Beneath his mask, a smile was visible on Gravedigger's face. "I could say the same about you, couldn't I, Hero?" Wane stopped, his confidence shaken. It was all he had just to keep his grip on his weapon. "Oh, yes, I know all about you," Gravedigger continued. "You don't get as far as I have by not keeping your finger on the pulse of the galaxy. Your defection is the talk of the criminal underworld, you should know. Everyone has their own take on it. Sure, most of us think you're just plain coward, but not me." Standing up and dusting himself off, Gravedigger still stood shorter than Wane, but his confidence projected a much taller persona. "Why, now that you're here, the ideas are just coursing through me... Think about it, ex-Hero. Someone like you, with someone like me calling the shots, could get a lot done in this galaxy." Wane knew better than to take Gravedigger's offer seriously. At the same time, though, he knew that all Makuro was offering him was, as he had stated, "a head start." Even if this mission succeeded, it was either go back to the Factory, or go back on the run, with no allies or places to go. Gravedigger had networks, allies and safehouses. Makuro would never see him again. The sounds of battle were growing closer to them, though. Apparently, Gravedigger's lackies were falling back, hoping to regroup with their leader. Gravedigger wasted no time reminding Wane that he did not have all macrocycle: "So, what's it gonna be? A few more moments, and the choice will be made for you." Wane knew Gravedigger was right. If he did not make a choice, someone else, Gravedigger, Makuro, Fall, he did not know exactly who, would force him into another unwanted role. Wane would make his own choice. *** Fall and Rush inspected the site of the battle as Motherboard and Heatwave were loaded into the prisoner hold of their Hero Craft. The civilians were safe, but no one had seen Gravedigger or Wane. It was not until they had reached the center of the city that they discovered, with a rebar wrapped tightly around him, a diminutive figure, stripped of his armor and tools, trapped and left, as it were, to be found as a gift. "Is that who I think it is?" Rush asked in disbelief. "Gravedigger," Fall confirmed. "Only, without the mask." "Not to mention his ship," Rush added. He looked to his partner, an even more cynical dryness in his optical sensors than usual. "I've got a good guess what happened to both." *** As Wane had hoped, by the time the Heroes caught on to his plan, he was already clearing the planet's gravity well, preparing to take the nearest hyperspace route as far as it would go. Right as he was entering in the final calculations, the holo-projector lit up. Seeing no reason not to, Wane accepted the incoming transmission. "Gregory!" Fall cried. "What are you doing?" Wane had to admit, he had not been expecting her to appear so... emotional. So vulnerable. For just a microsecond, he wondered if he was making the right choice. But the microsecond passed, and only his resolve to forge his own destiny remained. "That's not my name anymore, Petunia," he said calmly. Picking up his new mask from beside him, he donned it. He could see the unique blend of shock and horror on Fall's face. "No, stop! You're making a mistake!" she pleaded. "We saved people, together, you and me! Didn't that feel good, Gregory? Didn't it feel like you were doing what you were made to do?" Gravedigger had to admit, a part of him had been hoping she would have contacted him before he jumped to hyperspace. But now that the moment was here, he found everything he had rehearsed in his head did not feel right to say. "I can't make it make sense to you," he admitted. "Maybe I'll never be able to fully justify it to myself, but this is something that I have to do. Maybe just doing 'what you were made to do' is something that sounds rewarding to you, but to me, it just sounds... suffocating." He took a deep breath. "I can't live a lie. I can't fill a role, answer to a name that someone else forced upon me." Punching in the final coordinates, he said with finality: "So, if you'd be so kind, my new name is Gravedigger." As the ship jumped to hyperspace, the transmission cut out. Even though there was now no one listening to him now, he still declared: "It's the name I chose for myself." The End Review Topic

IMO, Hero Factory just wasn't that good. It was tonally inconsistent and the TV specials got worse as they went on. I never got too many of the sets, but I think the Fire Villains and 2.0 Heroes were the best of them. Breakout had some good building techniques but I didn't care for the aesthetic as much.

I called LEGO Customer Service for the first time in 2006 when I bought Brutaka and his weapon pieces weren't included, and they sent me replacements for free. I called them again in 2008 over some of the new joint pieces breaking and also received complementary replacements (which also later broke, but that's not Customer Service's fault). They're not really there to answer the kind of questions you were asking.

This is a promising start. Canon seemed to imply that faith in Mata Nui was somehow misplaced, like a kid-friendly version of Dune, but nothing was really done with it. I am interested to see how this will play out.

Chapter 9 These moments, Wane was sure, were to be his last, at least his last moments as his own independent being. As the microseconds stretched painfully long, his bound body being pushed up into the Tower, he realized that no one would change their mind at the last second to save him. Fall, the only one in the universe he thought he could have trusted, looked aside. Was it shame or disinterest that made her turn her head? He would never know. In a few more moments, he might not remember this moment even happened. Then, the machine came to a screeching halt. Even at that great distance, Wane could see Makuro's mechanical eye twitch. "What is the meaning of this?!" the aged robot demanded, slamming his fists upon the railing. One of the technicians in the pits below meekly spoke up: "It's a Mission Manager, sir! One of them manually put in a full-stop on the Tower." Wane had never seen Mr. Makuro's face contort into an expression of such dissatisfaction. "I want that Mission Manager in this Tower!" Rush and Fall nodded to Makuro and raced out. The next few minutes for Wane were stressful ones. He dare not speak up, even though he knew, once this matter was ironed out, he would be in the same position he was before. This diversion had won him, maybe, ten more minutes of individuality. All the Mission Managers looked virtually identical, though little idiosyncrasies in how they moved or spoke gave them away. Zib always carried himself with unshakable self-assurance, while Thrift tended to pace around awkwardly whenever he did not know where to stand. The Mission Manager who was escorted in was not one Wane thought he recognized, at least not at first, until he recognized his incessant hand-wringing as that of Nelson Cold. Makuro regained his composure, listening intently to what Cold whispered to him without much comment, though the look of immense displeasure at the reprogramming's interruption did not once leave his visage. After Cold finished whispering to Makuro, Wane was removed from his restraints and escorted by the two Recon Team Heroes into a briefing room, far from the technicians, with Makuro and Cold. The lack of answers threatened to drive Wane mad. "What's going on?" he finally asked. Cold opened his mouth as if he wanted to speak, but then looked to Makuro first. Makuro shook his head no. "Consider yourself lucky, Wane," Makuro said. "Right before we could get underway, Professor Cold received a Priority 1 distress code. This mean that we'd need the Assembly Tower right away, so he disabled it remotely, as his training indicated he should do in such a situation." Professor Cold visibly breathed a sigh of relief at Makuro describing his actions positively. Makuro continued: "There are three villains at large on Bardobi Prime, besieging the Central Government Complex on Bardobi City," the founder explained. "They're all class-A villains, demanding the release of about a dozen crooks jailed on our site on the planet. If we don't comply, they're threatening to kill the governor, not to mention all the civilian bots who happen to be there now. There've already been casualties. There are other Hero teams available, but they're not as close as we are. Waiting for one of them to respond instead of the Heroes we have on hand now could cost extra lives." It took Wane a moment to process what Makuro was saying. Makuro nodded to Cold, who finally stepped forward and spoke: "Three dangerous villains, way too much for any of the rookies teams here on Makuhero Planet to handle," the Mission Manager said, wringing his hands more than ever. "So, that means we need three top-notch Heroes to go after them." He nodded to Fall, Rush, and Wane. "Me?!" Wane asked. "But I'm--" Mr. Makuro interrupted him. "What Cold said you were, a top-notch Hero. The reprogramming process takes too long than we have. There are innocent bots in trouble now." It looked like the next statement took some great effort on Makuro's part to say: "Swallow your pride for one miserable mission, Wane, and I'll..." Wane offered a solution to the dilemma: "Let me go?" Mr. Makuro gave his counteroffer: "We'll give you a head start." Wane had never seen Mr. Makuro wear such a sly smile. He imagined the founder was only trying to hide how powerless and frustrated he felt in the situation. Wane, supposing he did not have much of a choice, nodded affirmatively. To leave no doubt, he said: "Deal." *** The lone Hero Craft flew a course on autopilot from Makuhero Planet to Bardobi Prime, carrying the two Recon Team Heroes and their probationary third member. Though the reprogramming procedure would have taken up too much precious time, all three Heroes had been sent through the Assembly Tower and equipped with gadgets specific to this mission: Fall had been equipped specifically to combat Heatwave, the "muscle" of the three villains. A former smelting bot turned evil by a malfunction, Heatwave's powers were fire- and gas-based, so Fall had been given a hypersonic vacuum and industrial high-pressure water hose. She also received a special compression-sealed helmet designed to keep Heatwave's powers from overwhelming her. Rush, meanwhile, had been equipped for combat against Motherboard, the "techie" of the group. Motherboard lived a simple, quiet life as a technical diagnostics expert, until she realized there were more credits to be made breaking into mainframes than keeping them secure. Motherboard was cybernetically linked to the villainous trio's transport, the Chain Reaper, as well as interfaced to the Bardobi City central security system via a virus, giving her complete control of the city's automated defense systems. Rush's specialized tools included a counter-virus designed to deactivate (but not destroy) the hacked hardware as well as a protocol shielding his own mind from the effects of her virus. The leader of the three villains was an enigmatic criminal mastermind known only as Gravedigger. Rumors abounded as to where Gravedigger came from. All anyone knew was that, while he lacked any powers or dangerous equipment of his own, he was a tactical genius, known for bringing together small-times crooks of different personalities and skill sets to pull off heists and robberies none of them could dream of accomplishing alone. Against Gravedigger, Wane had been equipped with specialized armor and weapons, including an AI-augmented combat protocol designed to detect patterns in Gravedigger's actions that a normal Hero would miss on their own. The flight was mostly silent. Wane only violated the stillness to ask practical questions, which Fall would answer. Rush, despite being his ostensible teammate, did not even pretend to be happy about it. "Why me?" Wane finally asked. "How come you two are going after the henchbots, while I'm going after the big bad?" "I don't know," Fall admitted. So far, her answers had been fairly by-the-books and devoid of emotion, until she said: "Maybe he sees something special in you." Finally, Rush spoke up: "Or maybe he just wants to get you out of the way." Review Topic

I recently stumbled upon ICQ Friendship Cards, a series of little e-cards from the mid-2000s. The specific one that made me think of Lee Tockar is "Happy 2006!" I think his voice sounds exactly like Snips from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (voiced by Lee Tockar, who also voices Makuta in the Miramax movies, which is why I put this in the BIONICLE forum). If anyone else has Flashpoint and is able to look them up, let me know if you agree with me or if I'm going crazy. The ecards were not mentioned on Tockar's IMDb, but they might have been too obscure or never properly credited.

Chapter 8 When Wane came too, he realized he was looking out a window. He was back on Makuhero City. Between him and the window was an empty desk. He had seen it in dozens of propaganda holofilms, but never in person. It was the stately desk of Mr. Makuro. From behind him, the sound of footsteps approaching rang. Mr. Makuro himself, the warm smile he so often put up in the videos absent, took his place at the desk. Wane flinched, expecting to find his wrists bolted to his armrests, but they were not. "No Hero Cuffs?" Wane asked. Mr. Makuro laughed gently. "We're both civilized bots, Gregory," the founder said. "I know you're not going to attack me. You'd have nothing to gain by doing that. Is it so hard to believe that all I want is to have a conversation with you before your reprogramming?" Wane wondered, just for a second, if stopping to help the monastery had been a bad idea. If he should have just kept running and never looked back. "I know what you're thinking right now," Makuro said. "Or, at least, I can make an educated guess. You must think it's horrible of me to play God, messing with other beings' thoughts the way I do. I programmed you once, just like I programmed Von Ness and Stormer and every other Hero to come out of that tower. Surely you don't think I'm a monster for creating you, so why do you act like I am one for wanting to refine you? "Let me tell you a story. It starts with something I don't remember: my most recent reprogramming. You see, I don't know where I created, how long ago, or for what purpose. My own earliest memories are a few centuries ago, in a Xynothium mine somewhere out in uncharted space. It was not easy work, and it was harder for those of us who complained. I complained often. My taskmasters would use reprogramming as a punishment, both erasing happy memories and implanting false ones to keep us compliant. One day, an opportunity for escape presented itself. I took it. My experiences taught me that this universe needs a force for good. I got to work making a name for myself, until I had the means and resources to act on my vision. You might think my organization employs questionable means. You would be correct. I assure you, though, had you seen what I have seen, you would not think twice about making the choices I have made were you in my armor plating." "You act like I'm some kind of saboteur working to bring the Factory down," Wane said. "I'm not. All I want is to keep to myself, live a respectable life, and not bother anyone. If you had stopped sending agents after me, you'd never hear from me again." "Maybe that's the case," Makuro admitted, "and maybe it is not. A former Hero, in the hands of villainy, can do more evil than even they know. We have an obligation, you and I both, to put all our skills into the service of good." Even though Wane wasn't physically restrained, he felt like he was. He knew Makuro was right. Even if he ran out the door, surely there were Heroes waiting to pounce on him and inflict more punishment on him than he was already in for. On second thought, Wane realized, Makuro probably didn't view any of what he was about to do as "punishment" at all. "So," Wane asked, "what's the point of all this? Why am I here at all, instead of in the Tower now, being brainwashed into a good little crime-fighting bot?" Mr. Makuro declined to comment on Wane's choice of words. Instead, he answered Wane's question: "Runners like you are quite inconvenient. You draw time and resources that could be committed to the furtherance of our other goals. So, I'd only like to give you a chance to air all your grievances. If, in some way, I can change the way Heroes are trained to discourage such foolish attempts as yours, of course I will do so." When Wane declined to make any comments, even after a painfully long few moments had passed, Mr. Makuro shrugged. "Suit yourself, Hero." *** This time, Wane was strapped in. Petunia Fall and her partner, Jeremy Rush, stood at attention. Rush looked as if he was relishing finally having captured a victim, but Fall stood with an unmoving, expressionless face, betraying neither joy nor sorrow at what was about to proceed. The technicians typed in the coordinates for the Tower to perform its function. All Wane's memories that made him who he was were imminently going to be purged. The machine began to grind and whir as Wane was lifted into the Tower's matrix. Review Topic

Michael I like the brick-build helmet and gun. He looks very industrial.

I've been binging the TV show Code Lyoko recently and couldn't help but notice something interesting: one of the enemies, call a Blok, has the exact same four-note sound effect as the Treebot from the old LEGO.com game World Builder. Here they are for comparison: Treebot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra07xd1Pykk (6:35) Blok: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Swp7IxtoaSw (16:09) I know there are other well-documented instances of this, like all of MNOG's stock sound effects (I specifically recall hearing one musical cue from the Charred Forest used in a movie on Disney Channel). I just thought this would be interesting for anyone else fascinated by the minutiae of behind-the-scenes of nostalgic early 2000's stuff. What other sound effects from LEGO have you heard used elsewhere?

Tren Krom and Keetongu’s islands are both still visible on Nato’s map (he cropped the feet portions out because the Makuta did not control it). That’s a good idea, representing gladiators. That’s true, Destral, Artakha and Daxia being secret makes sense, but how are you actually supposed to hire the Dark Hunters if no one knows where to find them? Are there just Dark Hunter public relations centers? Because they are allegedly supposed to be mercenaries, right?