Steal the Mask 2

[Onaku]

I twist off Quisoves' head so fast, a loud boom can be heard throughout the planet.

 

My mask.

[UngluedBike]

The planet is made of antimatter. You die.

My mask.

[Toa Smoke Monster]

I become the Green Power Ranger, summon the Dragonzord, and have it step on you.

 

My Mask.

[Onaku]

Since the planet is suddenly made of antimatter, that action becomes irrelevant, as every lifeform on earth is vaporized in huge bursts of energy. The entire surface of the planet is covered with the flames of matter and antimatter touching and becoming energy. When everything calms down, I open my eyes to find that I had somehow been converted to antimatter myself, and gained a blast-proof shield around me during the firestorm. I also watch as the planet and I turn back to regular matter, and the mask falls to the ground

 

I pick up the mask, which now belongs to me.

Edited April 15, 2014 by Toa Onaku

[Stan McStudz]

My Super Secret Lab(!) remained unscathed (other than previous damage inside), thanks to my ACME Antimatter Dampeners®.

 

In an effort to reboot the entire planet (seeing as most of us are now dead) I launch my Lab(!) into space, harness the powers of the Chaos Emeralds, and put the entire planet into a reboot thanks to the Genesis Wave (I swear I didn't make this up. It was in a Sonic the Hedgehog comic arc a couple years back).

 

In my playing God, I strip Onaku's almost Godlike powers from him, and everything else is as it was before the earth became antimatter.

 

Oh, and I have the mask now. MY MASK.

[Onaku]

I quickly take out my warp key and transport myself to my ultra speed spaceship, which is undetectable. I fly to the furthest reaches of the universe, coming upon an ancient relic of the past game. It's my reality machine, or at least, it was, and by me, I mean my alternate self.

 

I activate it, reverting the effects of Stan's god powers, returning me to outside of time, which means that I can now walk the short distance from the edge of the universe back home to our planet, knocking on Stan's door, walking in and giving him a light slap on the cheek as I take the mask and then walk... away.

 

I am gone into eternity, where no-one can follow.

 

My mask.

[Stan McStudz]

Ah, jeez. Looks like Onaku's gone God Tier.

 

I propose we all work together for now to bring him down. I've still got all the Chaos Emeralds and my Super Secret Base(!), but now he's in eternity.

 

Anyone else got any ideas?

[Ehksidian]

I become an ASCENDED GOD THING and using my ASCENDED BEYOND A GOD THING status to stab Onaku multiple times with a knife.

My mask. And I'm back so others can take it.

[Onaku]

Like heck. The knife of course killed me, since I was only outside of time, but not space, but since I'm revived by the mask as usual, unfortunately not extra-temporal this time, I get a chance to get the mask again.

 

I shoot you

 

In your knees

 

Forty times

 

A second

 

For thirty seconds

 

On each knee

 

 

Suffice to say; my mask.

Edited April 15, 2014 by Toa Onaku

[Ehksidian]

My knees regrow.

And your body will, too, after I atomize you.

My mask.

[Toa Smoke Monster]

I swoop in, trap you and the Mask in a box, and then fly off into deep space.

 

My Mask. (And you now belong to me as well.)

[Quisoves Potoo]

I don a spacesuit, and, using my handy-dandy physics pocket book, bend space so as to catch you. I also bring my best boxing kangaroo, who opens the box and gives the Ignika to me. Then, taking advantage of the ambiguities of language, he punches you with such force that you are knocked unconscious, and continue to fly through space for a good while, thanks to the general lack of any noticeable gravity and friction in the void. Ad mihi Ignika est!

Edited April 15, 2014 by Quisoves Pugnat

[Onaku]

Objection! I bring this case to a galactic court, and with the help of my unbeatable attorney, I win legal ownership over the mask, which means that if any of you take it for me, it will be a galactic crime, and punishable as such.

 

My mask, now legally so.

[Ehksidian]

I sue you for physical abuse, and hire the attorney you used, and win the mask for me.

Then break the contract so everyone else can have it if they try to take it.

But i'll sue them.

My mask.

[Quisoves Potoo]

I instigate a massive rebellion. The galaxy is in a state of civil-war. And the rebels are winning, thanks to the technical advice I gave them on genetically engineering the platypus into an uber tactician-cum-super soldier. Oh, and the incessant barrage of propaganda in the form of limericks, which so beguile the populaces they are aimed at that the members of said populaces start hosting perpetual Bingo-days in protest, effectively diverting materials and manpower that would otherwise have gone to the war-effort. Consequently, whatever legal protections you had are null and void in eighty-percent of the galaxy, including your own colony. Thus, I am able to overcome you with the aid of my trained cassowaries and take the Ignika. Then, by way of another tesseract, I leave for the Andromeda galaxy and enter the nation of Tyylredagrav, on the planet Uuuulllaaat.The mask is mine.

Edited April 15, 2014 by Quisoves Pugnat

[Ehksidian]

I approach you invisibly, and slap you silly with a machine gun.

My mask.

[Quisoves Potoo]

When I awake, I track you down with my Tirellian blue-footed Echidna, and bring the Spear of Fusion along (reconstructed from the ashes thanks to equipment I stole from McStudz's Super-Secret Lab(!)) I fire the spear at you and the Ignika, fusing you together. I then pick you up. My Kanohi/Ringabel!

[Ehksidian]

I return to normal and then beat you silly with the spear of fusion. Because spears, yo.

My mask.

[Kopakas Kool Kompanion]

I kill you and collect your pieces to put you together again just to kill you again.

If it worked on Dracula in Castlevania 2, why can't it work on you?

 

Nonetheless, it's my mask.

[Ehksidian]

You didn't spread me apart. So I just stand back up, and calmly remove your skull from your head.

My mask.

[Toa Smoke Monster]

I ripped the Mask out of your grasp and teleport you into the sun.

 

My Mask.

[Stan McStudz]

I kick the mask out of your hand (Think Roundhouse kick)and scoop it up.

 

My mask.

[Onaku]

I kill you with a sword through your heart. Old fashioned, I know.

 

My mask.

[Stan McStudz]

I mutter something along the lines of "Mal. Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?"

 

Thankfully, the mask prevents any of us from actually dying. Because that would be merciful.

 

I calmly get up, pull out the sword, and slap you lightly on the cheek. In the distraction, I grab the mask and run. I'm like a leaf on the wind; watch how I soar.

 

My mask!

Edited April 16, 2014 by Stan McStudz

[Onaku]

And unfortunately, that is how you die, because at that moment, a massive spaceship streaks across the ground at sonic speeds, fortunately missing me, but turning you into a messy pile of blood, bones and muscle tissue. The mask obviously falls out of the smudge that once was your hand, and flies into my hands. I then jump onto the spaceship, board it, and manage to get it back off the ground and into space.

 

My mask and massive spaceship.

[Some Random Phrase]

You pass my moon-sized space craft,which engages its concentrated graviton manipulators to send you crashing down to the earth and the mask to fly into my hands. I activate the graviton burst hyperspace relativity jump drive and warp away.

 

Moi mask

[Toa Smoke Monster]

You exit your warp speed right in front of my Death Star. I fire a massive laser at you. You know what happens when it hits. I then use my retractor beam to bring the Mask to me.

 

My Mask.

[Some Random Phrase]

The residual Graviton energy deflects the laser beam, and I Olmak into your Death Star, swipe the mask, and warp away.

[Stan McStudz]

The Olmak you've used malfunctions (as Masks Of Transdimensional Gates tend to do) and crashes you right in front of my feet.

 

I smirk and kick you up the chin, knocking the Olmak off (more effectively than any Bohrok!) and I take the mask.

 

My Mask now, sucker!

[Ehksidian]

I kill you to death with life itself.

By that, I mean I just beat you to death with the mask.

My mask.

[Stan McStudz]

I regenerate into a tall, Scottish bloke with amazing hair. I cut your hand off with a sword and take the mask. Allons-y!

 

My mask!

[Some Random Phrase]

I land on my feet with epic ninja skills and use Spinjistu to take the mask.

 

My mask.

[JAG18]

I come out of nowhere after a long hiatus and beat you over the head with a Kohli stick.

 

My mask.

[Onaku]

I knee you in the crotch

 

My mask

[Toa Smoke Monster]

I knew you Captain Falcon style in the face.

 

My Mask.

[Quisoves Potoo]

I use a mask of fusion to fuse myself to a Leprechaun. I proceed to appear in front of you ex caelorum and swipe the Ignika too swiftly for you to react. I begin to run in a circle, faster and faster, until I I am a blur. I slow down, but when I do, there appear to seventy-nine of me, each holding his own Mask of Life and switching places with one of his neighbors every thirty-seconds. Ignikam habeo!

[OmiChron]

Due to Stan McStudz's failure to spell my username, my essence was never removed from the mask.

 

I converse with the Ignika and it reflects remorsefully upon the recent wars, the many deaths, and the unnecessary pain that has been brought about due to greed. It recalls Toa Tohzak's diligence and his determination to return it to its resting place.

 

Sensing my will to help, the Ignika reforms my body and pushes my essence into it. I awaken, and decide we need to begin afresh.

 

I hold a large meeting in the BZP's version of the Grand Convocation Chamber and I move a vote of no confidence against the current chancellor. -Windrider- is voted in unquestionably, but she remains oddly silent. I activate my repulsorpod and hover around the central podium.

 

'Due to the current situation,' I posit, 'my advisors have deemed it necessary that I make a stand. There are those who will always work to dissolve the foundations of our system, the structure which so fragilely holds peace together. However, there are also those who are dedicated to its preservation, whose efforts are directed towards betterment for all. As the great democratic advocate of the time I am from, Daw Aung San Suu Kyii, stated, "The greatest problem this world faces is greed."' I look around the Chamber, picking eyes full of hope, full of fear; eyes burning and watering; I carry on. 'Surely this senate can decide - if the Mask, the Kanohi Ignika, is the cause of nothing but pain, should we not place it somewhere safe? Museums, galleries, high-security locations, where ever is most befitting. The Mask is dangerous. Surely each of our lives are worth more than a cursed piece of metal.'

 

My podium hovers back and docks. I wait.

Edited April 16, 2014 by OmiChron

[Quisoves Potoo]

A wizened Alpha-Centaurian steps forth. "My worthy assembled senators, the Ignika has been proposed as a solution to our woes. 'Fools!' I say, 'fools and blind.' The Ignika could vanish from existence, and our galaxy would not be a jot more peaceful. It is but a plaything for the powerful and perverse. They care not for the dignity of other beings. The Ignika is simply a focus of their malicious aims. Remove it, and they will find a new focus. They will not cease sowing the seeds of woe until they can be made to see the light or they are constrained for their crimes. Therefore, I beg of you, do not waste the resources of the government, do not squander the money of tax-paying citizens. We must hound these knaves who would ground us underfoot for sport. We WILL do so, and we shall not rest until our aim is achieved!"

[Kopakas Kool Kompanion]

Forget a long paragraph. I burn everyone o death and take the mask from the ruins.

 

My mask.

[Stan McStudz]

The anarchist approach catches up with you.

 

About seven years later, you are hiding out in Mexico. No one has tried to find you in all this time. You're almost certain everyone has forgotten about the war over this mask.

 

That's when the police arrive. I mean, full out GTA-Six-Star arrival. They don't knock on the door. No, they blow it to kingdom come and come barrelling through your quiet Mexican cabin. You raise your hands in surrender, but they have none of it. In a Bin Laden-esque takedown, they pump your guts full of lead and make Swiss Cheese out of you.

 

In the midst of it all, the leader of this attack can be seen: Me. I knew EXACTLY where you were all these years, biding my time, joining the police force and all of that. All of it led to this moment.

 

As I walk over to my prize, I ponder over it all. Was it really worth it? Justice thinks you blew up a building full of innocents. They all think you were a terrorist.

 

But you know what I think?

 

"MY MASK."