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The Official Rpg Planning Topic


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#1 Offline Nuju Metru

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Posted Jul 30 2011 - 12:50 AM

Official RPG Planning TopicYour place to get feedback on RPG conceptsEver been interested in entering a BIONICLE RPG Forum contest, but wondered if your idea was any good? Ever had that perfect concept for a game, but never enough people behind the project to make it work? Ever needed somebody to bounce ideas off of for that amazing idea of yours? Well then, good sirs and madams, this is the topic for you! The one and only Official RPG Planning Topic is your place. It is what it sounds – this topic exists for the purpose of helping you think up, plan, create, and get feedback on your RPG ideas for current and future RPG contests. How it works – you, the people of the forum, can post your ideas, however finished or unfinished they may be, in this topic. Let us take a look at what’s cooking, and then it’ll be our job to tell you what we think! Everyone has an opinion, and everyone’s opinions are welcomed, from the grizzliest Veteran to the greenest Newbie. If you’ve been posting ideas a lot, it’s your obligation to also give your thoughts on other peoples’ ideas – that’s how this works. Now, nice as this idea of sharing ideas and getting feedback is, we all know that things can always get a little messy. As such, some ground rules. BE NICE: I’m not going to say, “If you have nothing to say, then say nothing at all!” Because constructive critique can be negative, too. However, being blatantly destructive of another person’s work doesn’t help anyone – it just hurts that person and makes you look like a… well, like a something-that-doesn’t-belong-on-a-family-friendly-forum. Don’t be the mean one, or else we, the Staff, will have to be mean, too. That’s no fun. BE CONSTRUCTIVE: Of course, though, too much kindness is just about as helpful as too much meanness; that being not at all. Comments that just say “Great work!” or “OMGeezles that’s amazing 999/10!!!” are a waste of space. I know you can do better than that! Tell them the all-important why! What makes you like or dislike their work? DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY: This topic really exists to point out the flaws of your work, so that you can fix them for the contest. So, when someone honors their part of the contract, don’t get mad at them. That’s just silly. Most of the time, people critiquing your work don’t intend to critique you. If someone is making a personal attack on you in their post, the Staff will catch it. It’s our job. So don’t be pointing fingers. That’s just annoying. ANY WORK IS WORK TO SHOW: Even if it’s just a sentence or two outlining the basics of your plot and game play ideas, we want to hear it! So, for the rest of you critiquing the idea, don’t judge it or call it out negatively on its shortness. What is okay is to ask the person to tell you more, or to outline their ideas more in-depth. But bear in mind, some of the time, they won’t have any more ideas TO outline. This topic exists to fabricate and think up games. You have to start somewhere. ONCE IT GETS PERSONAL, TAKE IT OUTSIDE: No, I don’t mean that in some kind of fighting sense. What I mean is that, if your idea builds up some bounceback between you and one other person, stop using the topic! Take it to PM, IM, or any other one-on-one conversational outlet. This is really up to personal jurisdiction, when it’s time to take the convo outside, so we hope you’re responsible people. If it goes too far, Staff will politely ask you to stop crowding up the topic with your one-on-one chatter. That’s about it. Enjoy, gang! Your time to create is always now!

Edited by Nuju Metru, Aug 25 2011 - 06:02 PM.

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#2 Offline Legolover-361

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 10:29 AM

I've run this RPG through a test on another forum, but I'd like to see if any RPG veterans here have any feedback. Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. :bigsmile:* * * * *

Posted Image

Not the best-sounding message to send to you all, but it’s all I have.Know that a virus is infecting Techna’s SCPU. Know that I can save the SCPU by downloading the virus into my own body. Know that in my last moments I am thinking of you, fellow Toa Techna.Hunt down the hackers. Stop them, no matter what the cost. I know you are limited to imprisoning them because of the Toa Code in your hardware, but even so you can make their lives as hellish as possible. For me.Good-bye.* * *I’m Torch, Toa of Plasma and deputy leader of the Toa Techna -- well, now leader, I suppose, as our former leader, a Toa of Electricity, Ion, died to save Techna’s mainframe. He downloaded a virus into his own body, and the massive misinformation overload killed him.But I digress. If you are receiving this cybernet message via your brain implant, you are a denizen of Techna. Read on -- or listen on, it doesn’t matter -- for a review of our current crisis. Your help combating this threat will be invaluable.And if you’re a hacker... well, be warned: We will find you.* * *HISTORY of TECHNAFifty years after our population of Spherus Magna, we finally gathered enough technical knowhow to examine the technology within the damaged Matoran Universe. Together with the Glatorian we copied detailed designs and brainstormed how to recreate them ourselves. I was a Matoran then, rather young compared to most; even so I helped construct the first working quantum computer.I was also one of the first to suggest examining Matoran and Toa themselves. In doing so we discovered how to meld organic and mechanical parts together into one body. Ten years later we began adding implants to Toa and Matoran. Another ten years after, we created the first synthetic Matoran, one of Fire.A mere year after the first S-toran (as they were called), we (the Matoran, Toa, Glatorian, Agori, etc.) happened upon a grand plan: to take the Matoran Universe and recreate it into a grand spaceship. Some jumped for the idea; others didn’t. With what help we had, we worked for two centuries on the spaceship.One thousand years afterward, now one hundred thousand years ago, we finished it, called “all aboard who’s going aboard,” and launched it into space. The starship was dubbed the Techna Nui.In a large room within the spaceship Techna Nui is the city we call Techna.During our time in space we have discovered how to create synthetic elements and Kanohi, how to create customized species, and how to link us all together using Techna’s SCPU (Supervisory Central Processing Unit), thus allowing hover-taxis to be driven automatically without crashing, and allowing the Techna Nui to fly itself through space. Now no one remembers who’s a Matoran and who’s an S-toran -- both have so many implants, they seem equally robotic. I like it that way.Just recently our SCPU was hacked. The Hackers want us floating dead in space, because they don’t believe we should be influencing the rest of the universe, insignificant as we are. The Technans believe we should continue onward. Some don’t know what to believe.This is where you come in.* * *ABOUT TECHNAThere are three main districts in our space-city, Techna: the Science District, the Information District, and the Denizens District. Citizens can travel between the two as they please, via either hover-taxis or protodermis transport chutes. It’s impossible to enter offices without the proper IDF (Identification Frequency), which can be edited upon promotions and / or job switches.All of Techna is defended by hovering Automated Defensive Robots, ADRs, armed with energy ball launchers. The robots have arms but no legs and are about as large as a Matoran. When an alarm sounds, ADRs will immediately converge on the area. So don’t try sneaking into places you can’t be. Also, various food business (as well as empty buildings reserved for food businesses) are scattered throughout both the Science and Information Districts.SCIENCE DISTRICTThe largest of the Technan districts, the Science District’s offices deal exclusively with technological advances. Scientists work within closed chambers, working on advanced computer programs and new weapons, masks, and armor.-Technology Tower:This is the single manufacturing plant of the city of Techna. It takes up the very center of the Science District, a large cubical base from which extends a skyscraper-like structure. Only scientists with the highest possible permissions may enter.-Computer Knowledge Center:Most of the programming for the SCPU is done within this small tower to the lower-left of the Technology Tower. Entry permissions are the same as those for the Technology Tower. It is believed the SCPU virus was uploaded from here; thus, security is doubled.INFORMATION DISTRICTThe Information District includes many database libraries with information on everything from how to create a homemade chocolate cake to how to program in MCL (Matoran Code Language); not all libraries are accessible to the general public, however. There are also cyberprinters based here; many a citizen of Techna has gotten popular through publishing a book on the cybernet.-Security and Defense Library:This is accessible only to those accompanied by one of the Toa Techna. It includes a complete listing of all previous misdemeanors, including those committed before the Techna launched. It also includes complete schematics for Techna and its defenses.HOUSING DISTRICTThis includes one hibernation chamber for every citizen. While in this hibernation chamber characters are plugged into a computer, which allows them to move about in a highly-realistic virtual bedroom they may customize any way they wish.* * *CHARACTER CREATIONThis is the interesting part. See, it’s possible for citizens of Spherus Magna to contact us via a technology called “quantum entanglement”. Don’t know it? Look it up. We can create a body on the Techna Nui for someone and then, using quantum entanglement, download that someone’s personality into the body. You can be a Toa or Matoran, Glatorian or Agori, or even request a custom build; you can even have high-tech implants fresh out of our Technology District.All one needs to do is fill out this form and send it to the Character Database:Name:Gender: (Male / Female / None)Species:Kanohi: (if applicable)Powers: (if applicable)Weapons:Implants: (robotic arm, x-ray eyepiece, arm blaster, shoulder disk launcher, etc.)Alignment: (Hackers / Techna / Neutral)Bio:Note that one can’t be a Makuta, a Great Being, a member of Botar’s species, a Baterra, or any Rahi. They can, however, be a Glatorian, Toa, or any similar species; they can even create their own, within reason, of course. Kanohi not allowed are the Mask of Time, Mask of Life, Mask of Light, Mask of Shadow, Mask of Dimensional Gates, Mask of Creation, and Mask of Undeath. Certain implants may be accepted or rejected based on the approvers. Custom Kanohi and elements are allowed with approval.Note that Techna has its own custom Kanohi and elements. In addition to the normal elements, Crystal, Nucleons (control over protons and neutrons), and Data (ability to adjust data and data flow, and act as a sentient database) also populate Techna.Special Kanohi include the Mask of Engineering (enhances engineering abilities), Mask of Logic (speeds thought processes tenfold), Mask of Hyperspace (creates a hyperspace storage pocket), Mask of Remembrance (plants memories within other’s minds), and Mask of Time Perception (speeds up or slows down perception of time, including user).All characters have a brain implant that allows them to communicate with others mentally, either via audio or text (like how you’re receiving this message).This should be all the information you need to catch the hackers -- or, if you are a hacker, go to ground. It doesn’t matter who you are; know that the hackers aren’t winning this fight. At least, in my opinion.Torch out.* * *GAMEPLAY and RULESThese rules are to be followed to the letter. The first two times you break the rules, you will get warnings, both in PMs and in edits to your offending RPG posts. The third and fourth times, your character will be involves in damaging mishaps that set back your roleplaying. The fifth time, you will be permanently banned from the RPG.Remember to use IC (location goes here) before every in-character post, and OOC after every out-of-character post. For example:

IC (Science District):“Some place,” remarked the newcomer to himself, gazing around at the buildings.OOC: My character is open for interaction!

1. All forum rules apply.2. No god-modding. “God-modding” is when you make your character do something ridiculously over-powered -- for example, calling an asteroid down from the heavens.3. No auto-hitting. “Auto-hitting” is when you damage another character without giving the other player a chance to post, saying the character dodged.4. Listen to the RPG staff. They are RPG staff for a reason. Thus you cannot disobey them without reason. The local RPG staff will be playing as the Toa Techna; you can recognize them that way.5. Remember: You’re playing this to have fun!

Edited by Legolover-361, Oct 15 2011 - 06:18 PM.

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#3 Offline Vigor Mortis

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 10:38 AM

That's quite a concept, I may decide to join it if you make it. I like how it is futuristic.
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#4 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 01:39 PM

It does seem to be a good concept. Indeed, based on how you wrote it, I would personally say its better than a number of ones I've seen. It was written well, describes the situation (albeit to only a limited extent), and sets up rules and regulations, along with where you are and such. Are we allowed to carry equipment? I wouldn't see why not in some RPGs, but did you leave that out purposely from the character sheet? Ban on weaponry or something. I wonder about things like that. I can't really ask for a bigger history or description of locations; whilst small, they sum it up well. It's one of my flaws that I feel the need to over describe my cities and such, but one I do anyways. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:
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#5 Offline Legolover-361

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 02:21 PM

Thanks, Mortis and Zehvor.To Zehvor: Yes, you can carry equipment. Thanks for pointing that out; I didn't realize there wasn't a slot for weapons in the character sheet.Also, I'm attempting to figure out a unique edge to add to this RPG, as I can't help but feel it could use more "jazzing up". Any advice in relation to that would be appreciated.

Edited by Legolover-361, Oct 15 2011 - 02:24 PM.

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#6 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 02:35 PM

What exactly are the Techna? I thought it was just a name for the synthetic Matoran, but from the intro it sounds like they're a separate species who've come to co-exist with the Glatorian and Toa
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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#7 Offline Legolover-361

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 02:43 PM

No, Techna is the name of the city inside the starship Techna Nui. The synthetic Matoran are called "S-toran".

Edited by Legolover-361, Oct 15 2011 - 02:43 PM.

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#8 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 02:48 PM

Might want to clear that up in the intro then. Because, as I said, I thought they were some third species we knew nothing about
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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#9 Offline Legolover-361

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 02:51 PM

I do mention that Techna is a city in the introduction, but a little repetition of that fact won't hurt anyone.

Edited by Legolover-361, Oct 15 2011 - 02:51 PM.

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#10 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 04:56 PM

I think it was more because you kept using all the jargon about downloading and brain implants, something which no MU or Spherus Magna species has, and make no mention of them being upgraded to have them. I thought we were going to be playing as Slizers for a few sentences
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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#11 Offline Legolover-361

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 06:19 PM

I did some tweaking to clarify that there are indeed Toa, Matoran, Glatorian, and Agori in Techna. I'll probably do more tweaking later, though.
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#12 Offline Palm

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 10:59 PM

Just kind of posting this to see what people think about it all. It's nowhere near being complete, but I'd like to see if there are people who are interested in it at all.The Surviving - Outline “Taone Nui. The largest city in existence. So large in fact, it is not bound to the surface of a planet. Instead it moves through space freely, a factor that makes the super-massive city a bustling trading and refuelling stop for travellers. They avoid staying too long however. The civilization is home to many bandits and thieves, and the pirate infestation is unusually high here. The only ones who attempt to hold the law are the upper class of the population. Of course, some being’s idea of the law is different than others. The “Employers” as they are also known as, make their own rules, they make their own laws. If you have deep enough pockets, you are above authority. Money is power in Taone Nui. And unfortunately, this money is very unevenly spread. And more and more people in this city are getting sick of it. Of course, the Employers aren’t completely to blame for Taone Nui’s unfavourable economy. What little government the city has is corrupt and voracious, and those in the governing department that have good intentions, usually end up found dead a few yards outside their homes. Trank, the Toa that’s in charge almost never leaves his office, and is known to handle large amounts of cash before they inexplicably disappear. And then there are the pirates. Although most of them claim to be neutral, they’re known for snatching up citizens looking for something to smash. This could be a good thing, if the pirates targeted the Employers. But they have little preference. Usually. They follow the city as it flows through space, preying on Recently there has been talk of an uprising. The people want change. The people want to be able to survive without sacrificing the lives or possessions of another. More of us have been pushing our boundaries. More people are learning to use their powers and handle weapons. They’re trying their hand at organized “crime” as the Employers and Trank would put it; sabotaging close to anything they can that would benefit the Employers in any way. The people are uniting with the same idea, the same goal. We’re coming together now. Starting to get to know each other, forming teams. Even some of the pirates are showing interest in our ideas. Nothing is concrete, but at this point anything can happen. I’ve never been one for war. But if that’s what this is going to take in order to survive, so be it. You can be with us. Or you can be against us. So let’s hear it. Who’s side are you on?” Taone Nui- - 900 kio long. 300 kio wide. Nobody really knows who built this massive city or why, but most of the population have been on the city as long as they can remember. No rahi live on Taone Nui, and there is no evidence or recollection of rahi ever being there. There is no such thing as day or night, as the natural lighting will always depend on the city’s position in relation to any nearby stars. When there is no natural light available, most of the city has light stones in amplifier lamps located throughout the city. The city is closely packed with tall buildings, and metal roads. Taone Nui consists of three levels all contained by a massive bubble.A massive bubble that keeps recycled air in, and meteors out contain all these levels. There’s the upper level, where most of the rich beings live, and there’s the lower level, where everything sucks a lot more than the upper level. This is where a large amount of the homeless live. And the third level known as the Scraplands.Leaving the bubble would mean instant death, but anybody can wear a small breathing apparatus that fits on the mouth of your mask. They cost a lot, but can are frequently stolen. Although leaving the city through docking bays can be dangerous. Even with a small ship for one reason. Pirates. Sure, they usually waste their time fighting and killing other pirates for their loot, but they aren’t limited to just that. They hover over and under the city. The only time fuel is used is when the city needs to change course, which doesn’t happen very often, so we don’t need to worry about running out of it for at least a millennia. Locations- The Upper Level- -Located on the front half of the city, this area is literally higher than it’s counterpart. The upper level is accessed from the lower level by either the main road which is a slanted road, or by a tunnel system that runs all under the city. The wealthy all live here, although they do not populate the whole area. The lower class although frowned upon, are not banned from the area, and are usually viewed as suspicious when here. Most of the city’s guards are in this area when they don’t have any real goal to accomplish. Sub Locations- The Bow- The city’s control station is located at the very front of the city. The city hall is also located nearby where Trank lives and works.The Fringe- The strip of road that runs along the top half of the border of the upper level, and the lower level. The Lower Level- - Where most of the poor and the homeless live. This area consists of small shops that provide usually very little income for their owners. The majority of the homeless live here. Those who are wealthy and decide to travel here had better do so without appearing wealthy, and they should also know how to defend themselves. Members of the upper class have been known to be brutally beaten and sometimes even killed if they are recognized in the lower level. Usually. As this is not the case every time. Sub Locations- The Home- The streets. Over the years the streets have been coined the nickname of “The Home” due to the amount of people who actually live there. A lot of people undergo not so great things here.The Binding- The back end of the city. Over the edge are massive thrusters that propel the city through space. There is no railing. The road just ends over the edge. The Scraplands- -There is little to no light here, and the only way inside is through the city’s many tunnel systems. Full of trash and scrap metal, this is a popular place for dead bodies to be dumped and other undesirable goods. The Pipes- -The tunnel system that runs all over the city barely wide enough for two full grown Toa to stand next to each other. There are no lights in this system. Notable exits are out front of the city hall (there is no exit behind it), and one at the border of the upper and lower levels in the middle of the street.

Edited by MicroSnipe, Oct 15 2011 - 11:01 PM.

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#13 Offline Oblitus

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 12:48 AM

Posted Image Prelude: "Takanuva hovered in space for a long moment. He wondered what would happen in Tuyet's universe with her gone. Would the Toa become protectors again? Would the Matoran take control? Or would some group of the Dark Hunters and Makuta become new dictators?" -Takanuva's thoughts after his departure from the Dark Mirror Universe Current Situation: After Takanuva's departure, and the victory of Pohatu's resistance, things finally seemed to settle down for once.....until.The two remaining Makuta on Metru-Nui: Krika and Teridax, who has reclaimed his Kraakhan before the Toa could get it first. He and Krika corrupted many supporters of the Toa and began a rebellion. The Makuta summoned their former minions. Most beings who answered the call seeked power, only to worry of they would be taken over again. Although on the brink of destruction, the Makuta were successful in conquering Metru-Nui. Karzhinni answered tha call by sending his matiran slaves to ta metru for slave labor. Roodaka gave the Makuta highly trained technicians for Xia. Mainly Skakdi and othe various species came to the Makuta as well. With all these newcomers, the Toa were caught off guard.Many Toa were unprepared killed, such as Pohatu. Many Toa vanished during the Makuta's rise to power.This led to two other resistances called Pohatu's Legion and The Peacekeeper Sect. Locations:Metru-Nui was converted into three whole districts. The Coliseum has its own district. Each Metru has its private defence force. There are the: OMDF(Onu-Metru Defence Force), LMDF(Le-Metru Defence Force),PMDF(Po-Metru Defence Force),CDF(Coliseum Defence Force), GMDF(Ga-Metru Defence Force),TMDF(Ta-Metru Defence Force), and the KMDF(Ko-Metru Defence Force). Posted Image District 1: District 1 is made up of the Ta and Ga Metrus. They are the basis of manafacturing and learning. Most of the Ta-Matoran go to Ga-Metru, to learn how to craft, rather than their original home. Both Metrus live mostly in harmony, although they are plagued by gangs. Ga-Matorans instruct the Ta-Matoran on a daily basis. The Great Furnace was reconstructed into a massive manafacturing line,dubbed the Construis, creating thousands of Rakhshi shells and Exo-Vahki components. The Great Temple was reformed into a sprawling learning hub that monitored the Constuis' manafacture rate. Currently, Construis is facing internal problems from an unknown saboteur. District 2: District 2 is the Onu and Po Metrus. The Po-Matoran work on making new inventions, like new weapons and technology. The Onu-Matoran work on recording the history and gaining new data to further expand their ever growing Archive. Numerous times were punished Matoran were put into slave labor, from dealing with a loose rahi to disarm online exposives in the tunnels. Both Metrus are thriving, although a Onu-Matoran data archive party recently dissapeared int the Sculpture Fields. District 3: District 3 contains the Ko and Le Metrus. Ko-Metru is a hub for ideas and scientific discoveries. The Ko-Matoran work to make new ideologies and theories. They have began to research on prosthetics. Le-Metru is a testbed of sorts. From experimenting on biological weapons to new vehicles, Le-Metru is the place for it. The Le-Matoran work on the testing and transport control. Most items are contracted to here. Recently, a large swarm of Chute Dragons were having a skirmish with the LMDF. Factions: Posted Image Makutan Caliphate: The Makutan Caliphate is one of the various governments in Metru-Nui. Teridax and Krika founded it after their conquering of the most of the island. It is based in the Coliseum. Their goal is to 'free' the island from the 'flawed ones'. Most of their feared power comes from Ta-Metru, which constructs war machines, give the Makutan Caliphate complete power. Teridax and Krika rule with an iron fist and usually slaughter their citizens because they are arfraid of another faction. If their leaders were to die, the most powerful operative will take the Makuta's place. Due to the fact many labor forces are weakening, war machines have been in high demand and the Caliphate is slowly creating them. If there was a strong enough task force to destroy the Construis, the Makuta would be crippled. Pohatu's Legion: Pohatu's Legion is the second largest government in Metru-Nui. It is mostly based in Ga and Po-Metru. Pohatu's Legion is headed by Turaga Lesovikk. Lesovikk sacrificed his Toa power into six Toa stones, each belonging to a Matoran: Juirve, Toa of Fire; Izikr, Toa of Stone; Hirjya, Toa of Water; Tervik, Toa of Sonics; Lefric, Toa of Air; and Genesis; Toa of Lightning. The faction was named after Pohatu's successful rebeliion agaist Tuyet. Turaga Lesovikk strives to free the people of Metru-Nui. Pohatu's Legion specifies in infiltration and tactics. They have a master navy force that rivals to the Makutan Caliphate's land force. Peacekeeper Sect: The Peacekeeper Sect is a moderate government in Metru-Nui. It is lead by Darkness. Many former Dark Hunters were absorbed into this faction. The name is just a ploy to convert more people to peacefulness, hence the name. Most of Le-Metru follow the Peacekeeping Sect only because they're too naive to notice Darkness' real agenda. The main area of interest would be the Moto Hub, which now creates airships that rival Pohatu's Legion's Navy and the Makutan Caliphate's land force. Neutral: Neutral is the scene of fightung between Pohatu's Legion and the Makutan Caliphate. It can be chosen to be aligned to. NPCs: (Will be added later) Character Creation: Here is an example:

Name:Gender:Alignment:Powers/Abilities:Species:Weapons: (No over powered weapons; i.e. Kilirex pulled out a bio-decimater, capable of killing a group of living things.)Appearance: (Be descricptive)Personality:Bio:Weakness: (Absolutely necessary.)

No Masks of Time, Creation, Life, Dimensional Gates, Shadow, Light, or Emulation. Custom masks need to be approved. Peacekeeper Sect: Any kind of species but shadow oreinted beings Makutaria: All BoM associated beings, shadow oreinted beings Pohatu's Legion: Any kind of species but shadow oreinted beings Custom species need to be approved. Rules: 1. Follow all BZRPG and BZP rules2. No goddmoding3. Warnings will be sent if you disobey the rules. You only get three strikes. On the second strike, your character will lose many items. On the last strike, you will be banned from this RPG4. Have Fun! Please rate because I want to see if this will be popular with the RPG community. Thank You

Edited by Rakata, Oct 23 2011 - 07:09 PM.

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#14 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 01:35 AM

THE SURVIVING The concept seems sound for an outline, but I have a complain - the only Bionicle things you have mentioned are stating a pipe is twice as tall as a toa, and that Nui is in the name. It feels a little too... I dunno. Not Bionicle. DARK MIRROR Hold up a minute. Dark mirror. Do you mean... Oh, yeah, good. It is that dark mirror. You didn't bold Force in Onu-Metru Defense Force or Ga-Metru Defense Force. On that subject, repetitive name is repetitively repetitive. (Also, don't use Prologue and Epilogue like that, please. It hurts my head. I get picky about the use of Preface and Interlude now days) Makutaria? Er... But I digress, I'm only making fun of names because I need sleep. In all honesty, the idea seems good, but a few questions.... Why is Makutaria even THERE. Most of the BoM forces were destroyed; heck, only two Makuta are even still alive! It seems to me that either A, the Makuta are powerful enough alone to kill off their enemies, or B, the Makuta are too weak to defeat them, and by all rights should be dead. Now, if the Makuta were somehow attracting followers, and you could detail why, it would be different. Maybe they're served by a bunch of inmates who they freed (Skakdi honor guard anybody?), or they used some kind of teleporter to warp Destral, which secretly escaped the Toas notice, near Metru-Nui, and unload a group of servants. Or maybe they just come by boat. The other two factions are sound. Also, where is the rest of the empire? It didn't just rule one city, you know. If I was Tuyets general out in the far reaches of the universe, I'd be taking Metru-Nui back with an army of toa before you could say "I'd be taking Metru-Nui back with an army of toa". That's my two cents. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:
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#15 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 05:16 AM

I'm with Levacius on The Surviving. Its not set in the Bionicle Universe, doesn't have any connection to the Bionicle Universe. Its just a COTRPG set in space with a few references In the case of Dark Mirror, how have the Makuta not won yet? Apart from the fact that it has two Makuta, it seems to have the largest army, plus fragments of all the districts and most of Ta-Metru. Seems they could outmatch anyone in terms of technological advancement
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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#16 Offline Oblitus

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 09:51 AM

@:Levacius: This link states no all of the MU was conquered by Tuyet. The Order was after her if she left. @The Power That Is: I've now mentioned more details in the Makuta's rise to power in the Current Situation.
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#17 Offline Tanma

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 11:10 AM

Not sure about Dark Mirror, from what I remember at its end the rioting had gotten way out of control. And such a wide scale rebellion could easily create a Great Disturbance, or even a Great Cataclysm. But since I am writing an epic about Dark Mirror suffering a GC I might be biased.
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Posted ImageBZPRPG Characters
-------------------
"Danger is the anvil on which trust is forged"-Jaller(Jala)
"We're on our own here-like we've always been-and we'll stand or fall on our own"-Tanma
"He may seem slow and strange to you, but his simple words often carry a hidden wisdom"-Turaga Vakama on Kapura

#18 Offline Palm

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 01:00 PM

The concept seems sound for an outline, but I have a complain - the only Bionicle things you have mentioned are stating a pipe is twice as tall as a toa, and that Nui is in the name. It feels a little too... I dunno. Not Bionicle.

I'm with Levacius on The Surviving. Its not set in the Bionicle Universe, doesn't have any connection to the Bionicle Universe. Its just a COTRPG set in space with a few references

And this is why I posted this here. I hadn't really realized how non-Bionicleish this actually is. Although this does take place a few millennia after the events in the MU, I should probably state that.Imagine a Metru-Nui that's a lot larger and isn't the brain of a massive robot.Thank you. -Snipe

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#19 Offline Mad Scientist BioBeast

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 03:29 PM

It could be WorseThe dark powers of the dreaded Makuta run rampant on the once great island of Mata Nui. No one is brave, or foolish enough to oppose him.Those that tried have been destroyed. Two dark eyes tore into this world once, bringing a vision of it to Matoran. It was thought to be just an illusion. Merely a figment of a dark imagination, twisted for dark purposes. But they were wrong. The nightmare of a world… is real. Search your mind, as Karzahni did to Jaller. Take yourself into the darkest trenches of possibilities. This is a land where darkness lingers everywhere. Where one small mistake, one reaction to slow, led to the twisting clutches of shadows. Welcome to the darker side of imagination.Kini Nui, this place is where it all started. Six brave Heroes have faced Monstrous Beasts, powerful insectoid machines, and the Makuta himself. The sinister Rahkshi brought death and destruction to the island. Nothing could stop them, except a fabled Hero, a Toa of light. The six Toa worked together in one last battle against the serpentine followers of Makuta.Two brave Matoran, Jaller and Takua, fought the Rahkshi of fear, the son of Makuta named Turahk. They had no chance at victory.Pure fear, a power that cannot be stopped, halted or deflected. The dark energy of Turahk flowed into Takua, lashing away at him. Fear, horror, dread. These are mere words, what went through Takua is beyond them. Every second a waking nightmare, fear beyond fear. For the Matoran, there was one escape from the fear, one way to stop it.His eyes hazed over, heartlight flashing wildly. Death was a mercy when it arrived. The lifeless body of the island’s greatest hope fell, with it collapsed the dreams and hopes of all on the island. All that is, except Makuta. The Mask of light, in its glowing glory, went black as Makuta’s heart.The six Toa Nuva entered the Lair of Makuta, thinking themselves ready to stop his cruelty once and for all. They were wrong. Six broken bodies lay scattered across the underground cave. The body of Lewa, daring Toa or Air, charred by electricity.The wise Onua nothing more than a plasma induced pool of liquid. Pohatu, the strongest brought down by strong winds and a brutal impact. Gali, crushed by magnetism and the bodies of her brother Toa. Kopaka, drained of his air and strangled by the outside pressure. And Tahu, bravest of all, leader of the six Toa. Makuta had saved a special fate just for him. His slaying was in front of the whole village, and is too brutal for words.But Makuta wasn’t done tormenting the villages, his rule had just begun. Inside his lair, monstrous things were made.They were creatures unlike anything from the darkest of nightmares, beasts of death and violence. And with them at his fingertips, the entire island was overcome by darkness. But the Turaga, who had lead the Matoran in opposition to his power, they survive. They served the Makuta, not of choice, but for the survival of their people. But the Matoran would not let shadows control them. Onewa bravely led a last ditch attempt at survival and freedom. Six Turaga and a group of brave Matoran fled.He failed. Rahkshi were ready, the brave Turaga met death at their staffs.Not one of that group made it out alive.Rage filled the dark chambers of Makuta, hatred, insult at the rebellion of his foes. Matoran were brought to him, tortured in punishment for the failed escape of their leaders. And under the Dreaded Makuta, as his personal servants, are two Matoran.Jaller, once captain of the T-Koro Guard, and close friend to the deceased Takua.Hahli, friend to both Jaller and Takua, and the island's chronicler.Now, a new day dawns in this twisted world. This is where the story truly begins. Your story, the tale of one being on an island of nightmares. Will you stand bravely against shadows, opposing them for those who cannot fight for themselves? Do you follow a darker Path, one loyal to the shadow that clutches the island tightly in his grip? Or is your story one that walks these lines, doing as you wish, fighting for neither side, only youself? Whatever you may choose, chances are, you won’t realize that this world… Posted ImageMata NuiPosted ImageKini Nui is the base of operations for the dark forces of Makuta. Makuta easily conquered the uninhabited Kini Nui at the beginning of his destructive reign. From inside, he creates horrific creatures, and his powerful sons, the Rahkshi. Even the air itself has been poisoned with shadow, casting the sector in eternal night.Ta-Wahi is nothing more than molten rock and ash. The dark powers of Makuta altered the lava flows to his bidding, destroying the scenery and landscape. Nothing lives here other than Rahi, and even then, very few can survive. The lava in the center of the wahi has been twisted in shape, forming a molten lake in the shape of the Mask of Shadows.Po-Wahi is the only truly safe place for the survivors who dare to oppose Makuta. And even then, Rahkshi patrol the land, searching for enemies to eradicate. The followers of Makuta know nothing about the base here, but still they search. The village is gone, with the last survivors hiding out in the labyrinth-like caves. Any follower or Makuta unlucky enough to enter the caves, does not come back. Here is where the resistance holds its ground. Protected by the harsh sands and solid stone, they are safe. But it is unknown how long supplies will hold out, or when Makuta’s forces will finally find them and eradicate them completely.Onu-Wahi is in ruins. Collapsed tunnels litter the landscape, creating passageways across the wahi. Bodies lay scattered across the lifeless landscape. The brave village of earth held out the longest, taking weeks before being overrun. Nothing comes here anymore, except Rahi. Though legends exist about groups of rogue Rahkshi residing here, but those are believed to be nothing more than myths.Ko-Wahi wasn’t affected as drastically as the rest of the island, as the village was taken quickly and destroyed without much effort by dark forces. The village has been abandoned and left as a scarred ruin among the snow, a place of echoed history, and a one time way of life. Not many rahi live in this cold frigid Wahi, and thus the only creatures that dare enter the snowy wastes are fortune hunters. But now, a strange new mineral has been discovered in the great Mount Ihu. Both sides desire the metal, but this creates an unstable tension between miners from both sides. Rumor has it that this metal is harder than Protosteel.Le-Wahi is an overgrown jungle filled with monstrous beasts that have escaped from Makuta’s expirements. The decrepit ruins of the once great Le-Koro can still be found, a haunting memory of the lives that once thrived there, but were destroyed by the growing darkness. The harsh swamps below are not safe to travelers, filled with poisonous creatures and predators, the only creatures that can safely go there are Rahi themselves, and even then, there is always something larger, and hungrier, just waiting in the forest.Ga Wahi has been stripped of nearly all life, the landscape poisoned by dark clutches. Ga-Koro floats no longer, the lily pads punctured and left to sink away into oblivion, never to return. Some brave adventurers risk the toxic landscape, hoping to strike it rich. They dive deep down into the lost city, collecting anything of value. The lava flows of Ta-Wahi have slowly spilled into the Wahi, and it is not known how long it will be before it is entirely consumed in fire.The Mangai Volcano has become a place of death and torment for the enemies of Makuta. Rebellious prisoners and captured rebels are taken here to be thrown into the fiery pit. Rahkshi have been station to prevent eruptions from occurring, but despite the best efforts of these creatures of shadow, sometimes the eruptions are too strong to be contained.Character CustomizationThis RPG let’s you make and control your own characters. There are benefits to each species.Matoran (and some approved custom species), get job bonuses based on what skills they’re good at and what occupation they wish to have. There are currently five different possible vocations available. (The job you pick doesn’t necessarily have to be your character’s job. For example, a warrior Matoran could still have the skills the blacksmith, though it wouldn’t be exactly as useful.)Blacksmith: If you choose to be a blacksmith you know how to work with metal, and you know how any amount of metal can become something useful. For you, metalwork takes less time because of your skill, allowing you to create weapons and vehicles of higher quality, and in a shorter time. Whether you want to sell your tools to others, making yourself a profit, or take you skills into the mines to create things right from the source, the blacksmith is the choice for you.Protector: If you are a defensive fighter, the protector would be a wise choice. Protectors are good at planning defensive combat for themselves, and other people. They can form defensive plans with relative ease, much faster than anyone else could ever imagine. Should you come across a town under attack, and lacking defense, all it takes is own Protector to turn it around. If you prefer defense over offensive fighting, the Protector would be the perfect choice.Shinobi: Those that follow the ways of the shinobi are masters in the ways of stealth. They blend with the shadows, becoming almost invisible in almost any situation. But this skill is useless in the light, only while hidden in the shadows. But with it, no enemy will see you coming toward them, until it is far too late. This is the logical skill for thieves and assassins looking to get close enough to do their job, then slip off into the darkness.Brawler: Brawlers fight with their hands, not needing any weapons to crush their foes. They have much greater strength than the average person, and know how to use it to their advantage. Their fists are as good a weapon as they’ll ever need, though they can still use weapons, they aren’t trained with them. A Matoran of this skill is easily as strong as your average Toa. For someone who thinks weapons aren’t important, and just wants to beat things up, choose the Brawler.Soldier: Soldiers are the great warriors of the island, they can easily adapt to any weapon. They have the skills to use nearly anything as a weapon, with deadly efficiency. Their reflexes are great, allowing them to draw and use weapons with great speed. With this as your occupation, you will even have the power to best most Rahi, though there are always more dangerous creatures out there. If you want to fight as a master of weapons, you should choose the Soldier. Species (Not including Matoran)ToaToa are powerful beings who control the very elements themselves. They are stronger than most Matoran, and can use Kanohi to their full power. They may choose an occupation, but are limited to soldier, Brawler, and protector. But due to their already large list of powers, get a weakened for of their job bonus. A warning to all Toa, Makuta has a device in place hidden in his lair, which causes Toa to implode if they attempt a Nova Blast on the island.SkakdiThe dark Makuta has preformed cruel experiments on the Skakdi, giving them the power to control their element by themselves. But it comes at a cost. They are limited to Turaga level power, but have higher strength than an average Toa. Skakdi are also permitted one of the powers listed below.Animation: This power lets the user animate up to three small objects, two medium, or one larger object. This power is limited to the largest controllable thing being a large bolder or a Tree. Attempting to go beyond this will result in death.Heat Vision: This power allows you to emit blasts of heat from your eyes.Impact Vision: This ability permits you to strike those within sight with a powerful blunt force.Infrared Vision: This power allows you to scan through even the darkest areas by sensing the surface heat of objects.Laser Vision: This power allows the user to release highly concentrated laser beams from their eyes.Telescopic Vision: This power lets you greatly increase the distance of your sight.X-Ray Vision: This power lets you see through objects as if they weren’t even there. Though the underground walls of the island strangely block this power.VortixVortix are powerful and creative creatures, inventing unique devices and solving challenging mental problems. They have no powers, but automatically get the boost from the Blacksmith and Protector skills. They also have higher strength than even a Skakdi.ZyglakZyglak are monstrous beasts that have a resistance to the elemental powers of Toa and Skakdi alike. Along with this resistance, Zyglak also have all the skills of a Brawler. They have strength that matches a even a Vortixx.RahiIf you play as a one of the island’s creature, a Rahi you are faced with limited intelligence. You are also unable to speak to non Rahi unless they wear the Mask of Translation. There are no specific powers for each Rahi, as each creature is unique. But along with whatever powers they may naturally have, the creature have been given two of the bellow in Makuta’s experiments. More powerful Rahi may be limited to one, or even none of these. Heat - Allows the user to create, control, and absorb heat to a limited level; a Fire-based power Vacuum - Gives the user the ability to drain the air from an area creating a vacuum; an Air-based power Cyclone - Permits the user to form and to a lesser extent, control a whirlwind of air; an Air-based power Cold - Allows the user to make the temperature drop and create light snow ; an Ice-based power Darkness - permits the user to cloak an area in darkness, blocking out all light; a Shadow-based power Silence - Allows the user to generate a field of silence, absorbing all sounds; a Sonics-based powerShapeshifting - Allows the user to change their appearance to another form with the same mass. Also allows mimicry of voices to a certain extent.Camouflage - Body pigmentation alter to better blend with its surroundings.Teleportation – The Rahi can transport itself to another location within its range of vision.Talking – Allows the user to talk in any language, similar to the Rau.RahkshiAll Rahkshi start at stage 3, and are locked there. If a player does not try to abuse the powers of the Rahkshi, they may be promoted to a more powerful stage of advancement. All Rahkshi have the ability to fly for short distances, and have one power. While a Rahkshi is physically stronger than Toa, they gain no job bonuses and have limited power. The Rahkshi under Makuta follow his commands, and to a lesser extent, those of his general and squad commanders. Some Rahkshi are thought to have gone rogue, or even joined the resistance, but these are merely myths... or so it is said.Hunger – Drains the elemental power out of a target. Requires direct contact.Fragmentation – Can fire a beam out of staff that causes any target it touches to explode. Beam cannot bend or reflect off of anything.Weather Control – Can conjure up thunder storms and wind gusts but cannot control them once created, is a menace to friend and foe.Elasticity – Is resistant to blunt attacks, and can control it’s body like rubber. Is weaker to sharp objects.Heat/Laser Vision – Can fire beams of heat out of it’s eye’s.Illusion – Can create and conjure illusions. The Rahkshi can turn invisible while it’s power is activated.Teleportation – Can teleport within line of sight.Gravity – Can control GravitySonics – Can control soundChain Lighting – Can fire weak lighting blasts that hit everyone in the area. Including Allies.Rules:Username: Your name here, so as to keep the owners of characters straight.Name:Keep it BIONICLE sounding, please.Faction: Makuta, Rebillion, or RogueSpecies: Any species is allowed, except Makuta. Custom species are also allowed, if one of the GMs approve it.Gender: Male, female, unknown or none.Description: If you have a picture of what your character looks like, then you may link to that instead of describing them.Personality: What is your character like? How does he interact with people?Equipment: This covers your character’s tools. Over-powerful tools will be smited.Mask: All masks are allowed, except for the Avohkii, Kraahkan, Olmak Legendary Masks, and Olisi. Tryna and Mohtrek will only let you control up to ten people. If you have more than six you cannot fight due to the power it takes to control the mask. Masks can be used by Matoran, but at a Turaga level.Powers: This covers your character’s element and job. Any element is allowed, including approved custom elements, though Time Creation and Life are not (the exception being if you have a power similar to Thok’s animation power.)Biography: Where is your character from? Why is he on the side he is? Write your character’s past here.Rules

    [*]All BZP rules apply.[*]Use IC and OOC while posting.[*]Feel free to be creative with custom powers, elements, species, and masks. If you have a reasonable idea for a new type of anything, don’t be afraid to try to get it approved.[*]You may have ten characters total, this number may change, but this is how it will start off.[*]Please keep your grammar and spelling in check.[*]The Co-GMs have the ability to punish and reward you, as long as the GM approves the action. The main GM can give anything he wants to characters whenever he wants. So behave/go on quests to get rewards.[/list]

    Edited by Noble Knight BioBeast, Oct 16 2011 - 03:30 PM.

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#20 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 05:08 PM

COULD BE WORSE I see little wrong with this; if it won a contest I would probably play it even. Ten character limits seems like a pretty high limit; usually I see something along the lines of three to five. It definitely could be worse. Especially if Makuta-on-his-throne got his lazy butt up and just did some good old fashion kill everyone on the island. But hey, that's too much to ask for some... Anyways, looks good. Don't need to describe the locations - everyone on BZPower could describe to you the the island of Mata-Nui without much thought given. The faction ideas, leaders, etc. could be better described, as not everyone reads and understands immediately. So.... ---Describe the factions better That's the advice I can give. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:
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#21 Offline That Ghosthands is a spy

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 05:14 PM

COULD BE WORSE I see little wrong with this; if it won a contest I would probably play it even. Ten character limits seems like a pretty high limit; usually I see something along the lines of three to five. It definitely could be worse. Especially if Makuta-on-his-throne got his lazy butt up and just did some good old fashion kill everyone on the island. But hey, that's too much to ask for some... Anyways, looks good. Don't need to describe the locations - everyone on BZPower could describe to you the the island of Mata-Nui without much thought given. The faction ideas, leaders, etc. could be better described, as not everyone reads and understands immediately. So.... ---Describe the factions better That's the advice I can give. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

Just to point out - I don't think you read the Location list properly. All these locations have been changed in some way due to Makuta's reign, making them rather different to their previous states.

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#22 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 05:27 PM

COULD BE WORSE I see little wrong with this; if it won a contest I would probably play it even. Ten character limits seems like a pretty high limit; usually I see something along the lines of three to five. It definitely could be worse. Especially if Makuta-on-his-throne got his lazy butt up and just did some good old fashion kill everyone on the island. But hey, that's too much to ask for some... Anyways, looks good. Don't need to describe the locations - everyone on BZPower could describe to you the the island of Mata-Nui without much thought given. The faction ideas, leaders, etc. could be better described, as not everyone reads and understands immediately. So.... ---Describe the factions better That's the advice I can give. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

Just to point out - I don't think you read the Location list properly. All these locations have been changed in some way due to Makuta's reign, making them rather different to their previous states.

Perhaps I should clarify. I noticed the changes to locations. I was simply stating that he didn't have to go into any further detail. We already understand the geography of Mata-Nui, so the changes are all that need to be noted. Hopefully that clears that up. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

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#23 Offline That Ghosthands is a spy

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 05:30 PM

COULD BE WORSE I see little wrong with this; if it won a contest I would probably play it even. Ten character limits seems like a pretty high limit; usually I see something along the lines of three to five. It definitely could be worse. Especially if Makuta-on-his-throne got his lazy butt up and just did some good old fashion kill everyone on the island. But hey, that's too much to ask for some... Anyways, looks good. Don't need to describe the locations - everyone on BZPower could describe to you the the island of Mata-Nui without much thought given. The faction ideas, leaders, etc. could be better described, as not everyone reads and understands immediately. So.... ---Describe the factions better That's the advice I can give. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

Just to point out - I don't think you read the Location list properly. All these locations have been changed in some way due to Makuta's reign, making them rather different to their previous states.

Perhaps I should clarify. I noticed the changes to locations. I was simply stating that he didn't have to go into any further detail. We already understand the geography of Mata-Nui, so the changes are all that need to be noted. Hopefully that clears that up. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

Oh, I see. I thought it was a criticism :P

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#24 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 06:02 PM

I get you're limiting Skakdi powers, but why have Thok's animation power rather than his spellbinder vision?
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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#25 Offline Mad Scientist BioBeast

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 08:22 PM

I get you're limiting Skakdi powers, but why have Thok's animation power rather than his spellbinder vision?

I... Accidentally skipped over that actually. Thanks for pointing that out.

COULD BE WORSE I see little wrong with this; if it won a contest I would probably play it even. Ten character limits seems like a pretty high limit; usually I see something along the lines of three to five. It definitely could be worse. Especially if Makuta-on-his-throne got his lazy butt up and just did some good old fashion kill everyone on the island. But hey, that's too much to ask for some... Anyways, looks good. Don't need to describe the locations - everyone on BZPower could describe to you the the island of Mata-Nui without much thought given. The faction ideas, leaders, etc. could be better described, as not everyone reads and understands immediately. So.... ---Describe the factions better That's the advice I can give. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

Alright, I can't argue there. I was kinda vague on the factions. I'll get right on that. Thanks for the feedback guys!

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#26 Offline Trad

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Posted Oct 20 2011 - 04:52 AM

OK. Here's mine. Don't go ballistics about it though, I'm still making it. So anyone who wants to help me, email me as I use email virtually all the time. Setting Xenta Nui. An island of peace and harmony, open to strangers, and friendly to outsiders. The metrus lived in peace and worked with each other. The Matoran knew that it would stay that way for eternity. Or so they believed. The Matoran turned complacent, and became lax in their own security. They thought that no one would attack them. The Turaga advised them against this; however the Matoran took them as senile old fools. A mysterious organization, who called themselves The Lords of The Shadows, saw their chance to take over and they did. They unleashed tainted energies on the island, corrupting the inhabitants into Shadow Matoran. Fifteen Toa and two heroes from each metru ventured forth to combat the menace. They failed. The Lords of The Shadows were free to corrupt the whole island if not for the Turaga. They poured their life force into a Great Seal and sealed all the Shadow Matoran and the Lords of The Shadows away into their territory of darkness, where no Matoran was to enter. All this happened a thousand years ago. Now, the seal is weakening and tainted energy is spreading across the land again making Matoran have nightmares and slowly but surely, change them into Shadow Matoran. But destiny had not run its full course. For there was a new prophesy in the heavens, one that dictated that there would be new incarnations of the heroes that would defeat the Lords once and for all. It was almost impossible to believe, knowing the failures of the first heroes’ attempt, but it was a silver of hope that kept them going. Now this is where my tale ends, ours meet and yours start. A new tale now begins. Are you the hero who frees Xenta Nui? Or are you the one who plunges it into darkness? Be prepared to face your destiny, adventurer. Timeline:Creation of Xenta Nui and The First Matoran -------------------------0CXN (since the Creation of Xenta Nui)First Matoran Empire- Kingdom of The Iron ----------------------------1,000,000CXNFall of The Kingdom of The Iron ------------------------------------------90,900,2122 CXNFirst Matoran Disapppearance --------------------------------------------90,900, 3000CXNResettlement ------------------------------------------------------------------90,900,3001 CXNPo Koro's Desertation -------------------------------------------------------100,000,392 CXNRaising of The Ba Villages --------------------------------------------------100,001,000 CXNRising of The Sa Village Hills -----------------------------------------------100,012,369 CXNThe Civil War starts ----------------------------------------------------------100,133,691 CXNSecond Matoran Empire- Za Metru ----------------------------------------100,133, 800 CXNThe Civil War Ends -----------------------------------------------------------100,133,894 CXNCreation of The Colonist Metrus (Ka-Skakdi and Vo-Vortixx) ---------100,133,895 CXNInvasion by the Lords of The Shadows ------------------------------------100,133,900 CXNThe Seals------------------------------------------------------------------------100,133,999 CXNPresent---------------------------------------------------------------------------100,141,801Factions:
    [*]The Lords of The Shadows: An organization that everyone speaks of in hushed whispers.They do not seem to be an offshoot of the extinct Brotherhood of the Makuta only that it consists of Toa, Turaga and Matoran. They(including the Matoran) are said to manipulate the shadows and that they don’t show any mercy to their enemies.[*]Matoran and Colonists Military: Remnants of the Civil War (the War of the Shadows was a draft that I forgot to check) , they have been recreated as many a metru has been attacked by the Shadow Rahi and Matoran.[*]Shadow (Lii) Matoran & Rahi: Matoran, Toa and Turaga that are corrupted by the powers of the tainted energies. Shadow Matoran are sorcerers that wield the powers of shadow magics. Shadow Toa and Turaga wield shadow magics along with their own elements.[*]The Circle: Matoran dedicated to wielding of light powers. To wield 100% light is impossible as only a Toa of Light can do it, therefore they have to channel it alongside four basic magic elements.[/list]Rahi: When the Lords of The Shadows invaded Xenta Nui, they bought along Rakhshi, Kavinikas, Visorak and other horrible Rahi too disgusting to name. Lii Ranosh- The Lii Matoran's organisation of their sorcerorsThe Circle -Av Koro's organisation of their sorcerors Map:RPG mapOk, so this may be a bit too large or maybe broken. I'm an amateur. More coming about the factions and map. But on to the character creation! Character Creation Name:GenderSpecies:Weapons:Powers/Abilities (e.g. masks):Alignment:Appearance or pic:Personality:Bio:Weakness (necessary!):Guardian Beast (must not be overpowered, description and element needed):Anything else deemed necessary: Allowable SpeciesSkakdi-One element (needs two Skakdi in conjunction to use) one Vision powerToa- One element and mask.Matoran-No power unless Av. one powerless mask.Turaga-One low powered mask and elemental powerLii--Shadow magics ONLY.Vortixx-No powers or masks.Av- light magics only Allowable Elements (no Iron, I'm afraid)AirEarthWaterFireIceStoneGravityElectricityJungle/The Green/PlantlifeMagnetismPlasmaSonicsPsionicsLight (strictly Matoran ONLY)Shadow (Strictly Matoran ONLY) Allowable Skakdi Vision PowersHeatImpactX-RayInfraredLaserThermalTelescopic Allowable MasksHunaHauPakariMiruKakamaRuruMahikiMatatuRauPehkuiKualsiCalixKirilKadinSanokIdenZatthTrynaArthronFaxonVolitakGaraiBiomechanicsGrowthHealingPsychometryRevoundingSensory Aptitude Rules: 1. Follow all BZRPG and BZP rules2. No goddmodding. Duh.3. Warnings will be sent if you disobey the rules. You only get three strikes. On the second strike, your character will lose many things. On the last strike, you will be banned from this RPG4. Have Fun!

    What exactly are we supposed to do in the RPG? How are we supposed to stop the shadow energies if we're good? Or spread it if we're evil?

    If you are on the good side, you try and track down the shadow energies that's leaking from a source at [REDACTED] and stop it. Or if you want to be extreme, eradicate Lii-KoroIf you are evil, try and spread it. Corrupt your way into Kini Nui. Kidnap the Turaga. Create evil clones of good people or something like that.

    Sorcerers? Magic? What is this I don't even.

    In my opinion, Toa of Light and Shadows will be too strong. So I'm limiting powers to the Matoran and therefore they have magic.

    What is a guardian beast, I dun even.

    A guardian beast is a summonable creature of an element.

    For some reason your map isn't loading right.

    I'm trying to make it work. I'm useless at photoshopping.

    You use a lot of odd terminology instead of Bionicle terminology. Sure, Toa translates to hero, but just say Toa. "Fifteen matoran and two heroes" is kind of.... AWK-WARD.

    Toa does mean hero, but for the word two heroes,... I can't tell you. Do Skakdi and Vortixx count as Toa?

    Edited by TradtheCellist, Oct 21 2011 - 08:54 PM.

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#27 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Oct 20 2011 - 05:27 AM

What exactly are we supposed to do in the RPG? How are we supposed to stop the shadow energies if we're good? Or spread it if we're evil?
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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#28 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Oct 20 2011 - 05:26 PM

That's a LOT of banned stuff. And a lot of unexplained purpose (as stated above). Sorcerers? Magic? What is this I don't even. What is a guardian beast, I dun even. For some reason your map isn't loading right. You use a lot of odd terminology instead of Bionicle terminology. Sure, Toa translates to hero, but just say Toa. "Fifteen matoran and two heroes" is kind of.... AWK-WARD. Just fix things up, explain things better, and everything's set and ready to go. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:
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#29 Offline The Captain

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Posted Oct 22 2011 - 02:35 PM

Posted Image

This has a very strong Bioshock/Dead Space/Jak2 vibe to it. I love it. This has a lot of potential. If you enter this, you will have my absolute support. I'd love to play this. It's fresh and you present interesting locals that have been fleshed both in history and in depth. There is a lot of room for exploration and character development. The whole enhancement biological vs artificial mystery is also fascinating and can really be played up on. I totally imagine a Bioshock-like city in space beginning to crumble and destroy itself due to hackers and an overload of enhancement, taking away the humanity of players one bonus at a time. It could also be an interesting reward system, with special enhancements that only can be earned. My one question is whether players can be hackers, and if so, what exactly do hackers do? How does one defend oneself from a hacker? I'm sure players will be drawn to this and it'll be important to address. Excellent RPG idea. You have my full support. :)

The Surviving - Outline

Heh, I can't help but think your plot was perhaps inspired by the current economic situation in America and the Occupy Wall Street movement. :P You have a good basis, but a floating city in space dealing with class warfare isn't enough. The pirates seem interesting, but if money is the only thing of issue in this RPG, your players might hit a wall eventually in terms of what to do. Maybe play off of some interesting twists, like what the ruling class plans to do with all that wealth. It's a good base, but needs a bit more to make it stand out as a finalist. And as others have stated, it needs more of a Bionicle flair. Perhaps explain where the space-city came from?

Posted Image

Again, as previously stated, I don't see how any resistance could work against your antagonists. They simply have far too much of an advantage in terms of man-power and technological power. Perhaps tweak some weaknesses of the Makuta and hone some strengths of the resistance. Until those issues are fixed, it'd be rather dull to play this if there was no chance in success without deus ex machina. Again, a good base though. There is a lot of potential here.

It could be Worse

You run into a similar problem as Dark Mirror. How do the citizens of Mata Nui fight off Makuta's power? He pretty much seems to have won at this point. Without a clear idea of how players can possibly fight against that kind of power, people will be less inclined to play. Also... your plot seems to be almost exactly the same as the current BZPRPG. Might want to figure out how you'll distinguish the two, because right now, I'd be hard pressed to find any differences beyond the death of some canon characters. As for TradtheCellist's RPG, you don't even have a title. Might want to fix that. I stand by what's already been said about your current idea. There doesn't seem to be a clear idea of what to do, exactly, and some of your language is too ambiguous. I understand you're trying to be mysterious, but saying "a group of Toa and heroes" just sounds confusing. Tweak that a bit, and perhaps correct some tonal issues in the first few paragraphs. It reads as very rushed and over-simplified.


Edited by The Captain, Oct 22 2011 - 03:13 PM.

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#30 Offline Legolover-361

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Posted Oct 22 2011 - 03:26 PM

My one question is whether players can be hackers, and if so, what exactly do hackers do? How does one defend oneself from a hacker? I'm sure players will be drawn to this and it'll be important to address.

Yes, players can be hackers. I do see what you mean about the lack of clarity there; my only excuse is that I really wanted to describe the RPG in first person through Torch, and having him explain what hackers could do would be out-of-character. I could get around that by explaining what hackers do and imply more heavily that players can be hackers.And for the record, I've never played Bioshock, Dead Space, or Jak2 -- or, for that matter, heard of them. :PI'm glad you like it, though. :)

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#31 Offline The Captain

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Posted Oct 22 2011 - 03:46 PM

My one question is whether players can be hackers, and if so, what exactly do hackers do? How does one defend oneself from a hacker? I'm sure players will be drawn to this and it'll be important to address.

Yes, players can be hackers. I do see what you mean about the lack of clarity there; my only excuse is that I really wanted to describe the RPG in first person through Torch, and having him explain what hackers could do would be out-of-character. I could get around that by explaining what hackers do and imply more heavily that players can be hackers. And for the record, I've never played Bioshock, Dead Space, or Jak2 -- or, for that matter, heard of them. :P I'm glad you like it, though. :)

Yes, it would be good to explain what hackers do exactly and how to fight off one, if the situation arose. Or perhaps just talk about what they're capable of. You should get Bioshock and try it out. It's like $10 at a Gamestop and your RPG really reminds me of it. And that's a good thing. Or at least read up on it.

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#32 Offline Rhaegar Targaryen

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Posted Oct 22 2011 - 07:55 PM

During the downtime, I've managed to work together several ideas into one concept. I still have some work to do with the story and the entry as a whole. But I'd like some feedback, to make sure the story isn't as insane as I hope. So here's the story, in as simple terms I can describe. The Reborn Frontier (Working title) Story: The Order of Mata Nui was discovered, infiltrated and wiped out by the the Brotherhood shortly after Teridax's coup.The Order's secrets fell into the hands of the Makuta due to them averting Daxia's self destruction. Teridax realized that taking over the Mata Nui robot was overcomplicated, and decided to put Mata Nui into eternal sleep. The story continues along its normal path, until the 2006 era. Teridax, having faked death, secretly tricks the Turaga of Metru-Nui into believing that Mata Nui is dying via forgery, drawing away the Toa Nuva and helping to create to Inika in the process. This, however was a diversion. A fleet of airships, loaded with high explosives, are sent to destroy the city. Warned shortly after the Nuva leave, most of the matoran are evacuated. After the city was destroyed, the Brotherhood used it as a ploy to convince nations, city states and other groups to enter a new Brotherhood Empire. Bolstered by a huge army amassed during the Brotherhood-Dark Hunter War, it occupied those countries that choosed to capituate. In order to convince the remaining countries, a small, rich isle was bombed by a new, horrible weapon. 'Greening' Bombs, as they were called, was EP (EP entity is N/A) modified not to destroy, but to create. By transforming into a gas, is either mutated or burned sentinent beings, and turned entire cities into monsterous jungles. It terrified the world, and forced more nations to surrender. Within days, Dark Hunters, several islands, multiple Skakdi clans, the Metru Nui refugees and most of the Northern continent joined into one block, called the Council of the Free (Working title). The Council and the Brotherhood battled for years before being pushed into the Northern continent. From the advancing Makuta hoards, hundreds of thousands of refugees poured into the continent, leading to massive famine. The Brotherhood, while still consolidating its power over the new Makuta Empire, surged into the Tren Krom Peninsula. In addition to the deaths of four Toa Nuva, the capture of another two, and the slaying of seven Makuta, thousands upon thousands were slaughtered in a ten-year campaign. In the end, both sides retreated to consolidate their losses, with the Makuta building a massive wall to seperate each side. On the peninsula, three huge airbases were constructed, and airships by the dozens came in. Day by day, bombers from the continent attacked the overcrowded urban centers, causing the Council to collapse upon itself, and the peoples it once governed to flee to the country, establishing scattered villages and cities as they went. The bombers then moved toward major trails, ports and the cities where the remains of government held on. It was all for an invasion that never came. As Teridax prepared to conquer the continent, but destiny had its way. On a fateful trip to Stelt to review his newly conquered isle, the Toa Hagah, his former protectors who'd been hiding after an attack on Nynrah, assassinated him in public. Then a power vacuum emerged, between those close to Teridax who wished to hold onto power, led by Gorast, those loyal to to upstart Icarax, and a third group of isolationist Makuta, led by Krika. For eighty years, the factions and the puppet states aligned with them engaged in a bloody civil war, ending with the defeat and exile of Gorast's forces and the destruction of Krika's. On the Northern continent, civilization moved at a slow pace. While Icarax's Empire advanced to amazing levels, the continent remained a group of primitive villages until after the end of the Brotherhood's civil war. The end of the war caused the now hated and reviled members of Krika's and Gorast's armies to flood into the east, bringing with them innovation and progress. Little by little, people began to return and clear away the ruins of the forested cities, and began to rebuild. With violence between the Dark Hunter and Ex-Brotherhood forces on the rise in the east, the Metru-Nuian dominated west reacted by organizing a new organziation. The United Commonwealth, to guard and protect its people. Unfortunately for the Commonwealth, its military leaders, who controlled most of the government, were still paranoid about the Brotherhood. They were certain that the only way to fend of an invasion was to gather a huge army. But due to a limted number of available soldiers, Toa in pacticular, many idea came forth. Everyone from shamans to village nutjobs came forth. The most radical came from a Vortixx refugee from Xia, a recent immigrant from the east named Dr. Vhesa. Dr. Vhesa, regarded by most as a fraud with several degrees in science, came to a comitee of generals and told her plan. The idea was to clone the greatest warriors from different multiverses. The idea was absurd, but to the generals it was the answer to their problems. They, however, lacked scientists. So after a daring raid on Xia, several of the most influential scientists were held against their will, given a almost unlimited budget. After three decades, it was complete, and once it was sent into action, it both suceeded and failed. In front of awed generals, the machine cloned and materialized heroes, villians and civillians from the nearby multiverse. After which, it exploded in a massive blast, forming a massive black desert and killing both the scientists and the generals. The clones, however, landed softly. The resulting chaos and culture clash resulted in an early demise to the Commonwealth. The clones, disoriented and utterly confused, scattered along both sides of the desert, forming mostly along universal lines. Most settled down and formed peaceful communtiies. Others, however, pursued the same paths their originals chose. Dictators, conquerers, warlord and all types of evil florished in both the chaotic easty and the peaceful west. With both good and evil countries forming along all sides, it is only a matter of time before war breaks out. Selling Point: In The Reborn Frontier, players are given a unique chance to ressurect old characters, create new ones, form countries and determine the destiny of an entire continent. It simply means that you can bring back almost any character, from almost any winning RPG (RPG Contest 1-present & any BZPRPG year) the player has joined. And the character can take any form from the time it was played (If you started the game as a matoran, and became a Toa midgame you can be either form).

Edited by Zombified Vampire Werewolf, Oct 22 2011 - 07:56 PM.

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#33 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Oct 22 2011 - 08:10 PM

Thats way too complicated a backstory. By the end of it I wasn't entirely sure what was happening. Who is at war with who? Krika, Gorast and Icarax all have their own armies, then there's the Council, and the Commonwealth, and you say at one point war has ended but which one? And where are people getting all these resources? Walls, aircraft, defences...not to mention Vhesa's apparently unlimited budget. War, especially war thats been going on for decades, tends to cripple economies
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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#34 Offline The Captain

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Posted Oct 22 2011 - 08:33 PM

The Reborn Frontier

Essentially, this is going to Super Smash Bros - Bionicle Edition. :P Aside from that, allowing people to be whoever they want, canon or not, might cause some issues. I had a similar situation in The Bridge, where I allowed approved people to play as canon characters. What do you do if multiple people want the same character, or if one person is clearly not responsible to handle a particular character's abilities and traits? What characters are limited? There are some characters that are clearly more powerful than others and you get a power vacuum. It's interesting, but again, it sounds like it'll just turn into a chaotic SSB-style three-month long battle.Edit: Also, what TPTI said.

Edited by The Captain, Oct 22 2011 - 08:34 PM.

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#35 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Oct 22 2011 - 08:44 PM

Agreeing with all points above... typical, considering just who they are. Recreating old characters? We could just do that anyways. I like the characters I wrote up for this RPG enough that I might use them again. The cloning characters idea isn't as great as you think. This isn't BZPRPG that doesn't let you reuse the old. Your selling point isn't really... well... selling? To put it bluntly, less chaos. Trust me, doesn't make people very happy when your history page is too chaotic. Linear timeline helps, blocking off parts of history into subcategories. This isn't accurate, likely, but to make it more linear - (AGC = After Great Cataclysm, BGC Before Great Cataclysm) AGC 1005 - Metru-Nui is destroyed by the Brotherhood of MakutaAGC 1006 - Teridax coerces countries to join the Brotherhood EmpireAGC 1015 - The Greening Bomb is tested on a small isle as a demonstration to the rest of the universe. Upon its use, armies on multiple islands disband and swear fealty to the Brotherhood Empire. Refugees from Metru-Nui and a union of islands centered around the Northern Continent declare themselves the Council of the Free to oppose it.AGC 1023 - The Council of the Free is forced to give ground and is pushed into the Northern Continent. The Brotherhood begin a ten year campaign to finish them off.AGC 1033 - Deaths number in the thousands. A wall is established between the Brotherhood occupied Tren Krom Peninsula and the rest of the Northern Continent.AGC 1080 - Slowed economy finally picks back up. The Brotherhood attack in earnest with airships, crushing their opponent. Teridax is betrayed by his Hagah guard and slain. Icarax, Gorsat, and Krika split the Brotherhood in three in a power squabble.AGC 1160 - Icarax and his troops prove victorious, and he takes claim over what the Brotherhood Empire still controls. Focus is made on technology, advancing the Tren Krom Peninsula far beyond other regions of the Matoran Universe.AGC 1180 - Technology and development, which had slowed to a halt, picks up in the eastern lands of Brotherhood control and western lands of Council control. The United Commonwealth is formed to replace the council.AGC 1200 - The Commonwealth recruits Dr. Vhessa, a Vortixx, to create a plan to engineer a clone army.AGC 1250 - The clone army is created, but the surrounding area is turned into a blackened desert. The clones spread out. Now obviously I probably have your dating wrong, but organization makes it easier on the eye. Dating might help to. -Toa Levacius Zehovr :flagusa:
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#36 Offline Vigor Mortis

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Posted Oct 23 2011 - 03:54 PM

Well I thought about this the other day and spent an hour or so thinking about it more, I may as well share it. I don't know I can manage an entire RPG myself anyway, so I may just let someone else use the concept. Worlds Outgrown The Story
Spoiler
CharactersCharacters can be aligned with one of the following nations:Kingdom of [insert Element Lord] - each of the six has amassed their own followers among both the former residents of Spherus Magna as well as some of those in Ultea Magna.Mato-gori Coalition - most of the Matoran and former residents of the Mata Nui robot are in this nation, which resides right next to the Element Lord of Jungle's domain.Skakdi Empire - inhabited not only by Skakdi but by any and all sorts of mercenaries, as well as a large population of Vortixx.Various Native Nations - (I will describe these in more detail later)Hiakejek - no one knows much about this group, nor where they are located, only that the Hiakejek mean to cause much destruction and suffering in the world. Characters can be one of the following races:Toa - one mask power and one elementMatoran - no powers/perksTuraga - one noble mask and one limited elementGlatorian (also Skrall) - may have an element and a 'fighting style'Agori - no powers/perksSkakdi - may have an element (to be used with another Skakdi) and a vision powerVortixx - may carry advanced weaponry that I would normally not allowBeiaku - one Exalted Gauntlet powerWiuken - one Gauntlet powerHiakejek - two Exalted Gauntlet powers, may be the same, and has various shadow-based powers I won't really expand on this much more, like making a map, unless if it is made clear there is some interest in this concept. Comments, concerns, questions, et cetera?

Edited by Vigor Mortis, Oct 23 2011 - 04:23 PM.

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#37 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Oct 23 2011 - 04:04 PM

If we're allowed to be a Hiakejek then you might want to add more detail into their description. Are they really made of shadow?And whats stopping the Beiaku from wearing two gauntlets as well?More description on locations would be good. You've told us about Tesara Nui, but what about Tajun Nui, Iconox Nui etc? They apparently exist but where are they? And is it just the followers of the Element Lords who dwell there? Also, Hiakejek are the Baterra. I'm calling it now :P
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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#38 Offline Rhaegar Targaryen

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Posted Oct 23 2011 - 04:09 PM

First and foremost, I think I made the clone-character thing a bit too confusing. Let me try to explain in simpler terms: If you had made a character in a now-dead RPG (Say, The Abyss) you can play as him/her in the same form. Say, if you had a favorite character from a long gone RPG, and you wish to play as it again, this is your chance. You can play as it, as long as it is yours. Canon characters are N/A. And I guess the backstory needs to be chopped up and made into a timeline (Thanks for pointing that out, Levacius), as that seems far simpler then my usual, bad habit of complicating RPG histories. And that was a simplified version :dazed: .
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#39 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Oct 23 2011 - 04:14 PM

Beat me to it. One good thing about the new BZP is the alerting that a new comment has been added. Helps in mid post. So yeah, what was said above. It has little flesh on it at the time, and I'm a geography lover, so hard to say much of anything. It's a concept, that's about all. But, Vigor, it would be pretty cool with some work on it.Weird Japanese sounding names. Just wanted to point that out. TO ZOMBIFIED VAMPIRE WEREWOLF (BTW you forgot Ghost) Again I state - we can just write up the same character, only change the backstory. Heck, some characters may not NEED a backstory change for this one. So the clone thing may be cool in that it's the same exact character. But you could just play the same character anyways. Also - If we don't want to play a clone, must we? Or can we play a resident of the universe. The universe must have its own exemplary beings. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:
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#40 Offline Vigor Mortis

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Posted Oct 23 2011 - 04:22 PM

If we're allowed to be a Hiakejek then you might want to add more detail into their description. Are they really made of shadow?And whats stopping the Beiaku from wearing two gauntlets as well?More description on locations would be good. You've told us about Tesara Nui, but what about Tajun Nui, Iconox Nui etc? They apparently exist but where are they? And is it just the followers of the Element Lords who dwell there? Also, Hiakejek are the Baterra. I'm calling it now :P

Yes, I suppose I should elaborate as to the Hiakejek. Now that I think about it, I don't really think that they should be playable - too overpowered. As for if they are Baterra: if I say yes, your suspicions would be confirmed; if I say no, you won't believe me. The reason why Beiaku cannot wear two gauntlets is simple - all of them are left-handed. Plus, even if you have one with four arms, it has been found that the two gauntlets cancel each other out. I'll elaborate more on the locations in a bit, and make a map.

Edited by Vigor Mortis, Oct 23 2011 - 04:22 PM.

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