FallenAtlas

IC: Yenroot Yenroot grunted. He wasn't expecting a reply like that. He wasn't sure what kind of reply he was expecting honestly. Nothing felt right about all this. But... His bow quivered on the ground and snapped upwards rapidly into his open hand. Gravity was useful to control. "Alright. Sounds like a decent gig."

IC: Yenroot Rahkshi hunters? That was a different spin on this story. He looked around slowly. Hammerlock, Trava, Kalen, that Skakdi, and Flabbergaster. "I haven't see any Rahkshi in these parts in a long time. And this is awfully close to that...hole in the ground, leading to the vault." He shrugged. "How do I know none of you are Makutaites?"

Welcome back, first of all. I like the writing style, but the conversation felt wooden and rushed. But as you say, two years is a big difference in quality. I can't wait to see how the Mask of Memory works out. I'll be following this one...

Eh. I might try. I generally like short stories or semi-connected stories over a lengthy story, but I might be able to pull something off.

That was a slip-up of mine. I wasn't sure of the exact year.

So read the storyline for Bionicle, 2001-2004(?)....this is what I got from it. Makuta is jealous of Mata Nui and slips him some sleeping pills, and the island of Mata Nui is supposedly made cold and crops don't grow(wheat? Corn? They don't say.). Anyways, the Turaga, the old ones, get Takua to summon the Toa Mata from the heavens to show up and kick Makuta butt. Turns out falling from the heavens makes you forget everything, even your name. They recover, they kinda beat Makuta, and then they have to deal with the beetle infestation. Bohrak or whatever, cool in theory. Turns out they are ruled by some queens, and after getting a robot-suit powerup(which they ditched? What was the point again??), the queens are defeated, all is good. Makuta then released beetles 2.0, they do better, but turns out human greed even works on beetles and they get killed. Toa also get a super-hero upgrade after a quick swim. Turns out there's gonna be a 7th Toa, and after a ridiculous trip across the island and the introduction of some taller beetles, there's a big fight with hockey sticks and Makuta is defeated for good. Supposedly. Mata Nui is supposed to be woken up or something. I still don't get how Takuanuva is brought back to life. He's the Toa of Light. There's an problem there. Also, they didn't mention the fact the island is sitting on the face of a giant action-figure??

Time to crack out the map making skills again.

FYI, if anybody needs to contact me whatsoever, I have a Skype: fallenatlas-pt Feel free to add me.

IC: Yenroot Yenroot raised his head to eye Trava. "I could ask the same thing....What are you doing out here, setting camp?"

IC: Yenroot Yenroot rose to his feet slowly, hands raised. He left his bow on the ground, but nudged his foot up against it. Just some insurance.

Offering. Legitimate medical advice included. (Get CPR certified kids! It's the first step.)

IC: Erike & Samera Erike wiped the sweat from his brow. Nothing like a bit of physical work to keep your mind clear. Well, keep it mostly clear. What about the Guards? Samera asked, whispering at the base of his skull. "Couldn't find it. Better to stay active than...stay still and die." Erike replied, moving another crate from the market stall unto a wagon. It was easy work, and he got some pay out of it. Samera hissed in disgust, but stayed quiet. He knew she wanted to do something exciting, around more...powerful beings. He was just a host, a free ride, until she could find someone better to latch onto. Erike pocketed the pay, thanked the Matoran, and went another direction through the Koro. He thought he was heading towards the main gate, or at least a gate, but he might have been heading elsewhere. "I'll know when I get there." OOC: Erike & Samera OFI

Any groups in Po-Koro looking for a doctor of some sorts to join up? I got a pretty desperate character with slowly dying in the area.

IC: Yenroot Mutual precautions, sure. That's what Yenroot was up to, but what was the Guy Behind Him doing? He just came out of the bushes...like he had been expecting somebody? Watching? Unless the entire camp was a trap and Yenroot had fallen for it, but the sudden appearance of everybody else ruined it. "Huh." Play along, play it safe, but keep an eye out. Something's strange here. Yenroot lifted his head slightly. "May I stand....?"

Well, SnowyAegis, I want to see the reworked RPG. There's a lot of source material to twist and adapt to make a RPG here. Just expand your horizons!

OAO, I would have cried over that post if I had an emotional attachment to your characters. Regardless, though, that was probably the best send off post I've seen for this RPG yet.

I have only been on this forum for this year. I don't know the track record of the staff myself, so I apologize if that sounded like slander to you guys. So far, I say it's been a great experience.

I hope so. Nothing chaps my khakis more than a plot that can't be altered by the player base, even in small ways.

IC: Yenroot "Name's Yenroot." He didn't glance up, but kept his eyes on the grass in front of him. His face was covered by his hat, that began drooping downwards.

I got rid of my personal font and stylized text. While I did think it was cool, it doesn't show up on mobile where 95% of my browsing is done. The point made here though is a very good piece of advice that everybody needs to pick up on, myself included. The spacing issue is probably due to my writing software I use. It doesn't translate over well to BZPower. I'm going to start just pasting it into a .txt file, THEN bring it over to BZPower and apply the special items then. I apologize for for all that; I'm going to rework the RPG, get it spaced correctly, then post it in a few days, most likely.

Needs a map of sorts. That would be a big help to visualize the entire thing. I love the Diggers though. I'm totally thinking of that big anti-zombie machine from Land of The Dead in an odd way. Plot needs fleshing out, and some more backstory because of the war. Species selection is slightly limited, but if you put the rest of it together in a very pleasing and attractive way, both story and game elements, that shouldn't be a problem

OOC: I'm just going to wrap up Atlas and sever the interaction with Dr. Medic and SnowyAegis. Sorry fellas, but if this RPG is going to end, I don't want to stick around for a week to wrap up. IC: Atlas Questions went unanswered, but for some reason Atlas was content with that result. Whoever was in charge of the facility had provided teleportation for all to go home. Relief washed over his ancient frame, and he was among the first to return home. The pad buzzed with energy as he stepped on, and it tickled him. A brilliant flash of light, and every atom in his being screamed. And as soon as it began, it was over. He stood up, eyes blinking away the bright sunlight. His sunlight. He looked around slowly, a smile crossing his face. He was home. The mountain was the same, the sun that same shade of yellow, and the village...."Oh gods." The monsters in the facility had stolen him away, the sky-holder, and the sky had fallen on his people. All of them rested under that eternal weight that not even he, Atlas, could lift. All had perished, and left Atlas alone. He raised his eyes to the universe above, twinkling and growing in the vast expense. Somewhere, out there, was the facility. And in that facility was the people that murdered his village. And from this, he learned revenge.