FallenAtlas

Well, it looked fun and I certainly had fun creating my character; unfortunately I didn't get a chance to use him much, but I will probably translate him over to the BZPRPG. The creative team that put this together did a fantastic job, and I highly suggest they plan another RPG together if they get the time and energy back. Good on you guys. Dr. Medic and SnowyAegis, if it is cool with you two, I'm just going to cancel out interaction with your characters and do a finish up for Atlas.

I jumped on this pony too late. Oh well.

Did you get a warranty with the purchase? If you still have the receipt, you could see if they are willing to get you a new one either for free or small purchase. If that doesn't work, but some disc scratch repair fluid and try rubbing it out. Might work.

I'll probably have to insert a section in the "brochure" about the dangers and stresses. Add an edge of tension. ------------------------ Derailed.

I guess I should have expected a question about the difference between the canon and the RPG from you at least; your reputation as a big-wig with the storyline and lore precedes you. To answer your questions, however: 1. I'm gonna respond with a question for this one: Does there need to be a villain on the ship? Does there need to be one at all? Filling a ship with characters from all sorts of backgrounds and walks of life that is headed to hopefully a planet to resettle on is stressful enough. Events will occur that will threaten the ship, but for one major, do-or-die villain? I can't say there will be one. 2. You must have read it wrong. They are going to a local star system where there MIGHT be a suitable planet to settle on. Getting to the planet isn't going to happen in a day, or a week, or a month. Besides, once they get to the planet, there might not be any natives at all. I'm not going to answer this one directly, as it would ruin and spoil several plot lines I have created. 3. You answered it yourself. In canon, it didn't. This isn't canon, obviously. If I was to write a story about Ark #351, I would certainly expand upon why Spherus Manga was destroyed in this universe, but for this RPG that information is not needed to play the game or have an enjoyable time. If the RPG was set on a Spherus Manga that was destroyed in battle, I would certainly explain the situation.

Go read this. Comment. Criticize. Thanks. Fallen Atlas

Teridax chuckled. The Universe was his to control, the power of a God in him, of him, is him. Teridax, master of creation and death, and soon to control a planet on top of that. Mata Nui stood below him, in that wretched robot he had found. Teridax sighed. It would have been easier to squish Mata Nui with his foot, but this should be entertaining. He landed upon the planet's surface, eager to join the battle. The possibility of crushing a village or 20 when he stepped didn't cross his mind. The only thing he wanted now was to kill Mata Nui and finished this war. The robots clashed, hand to hand, power against power. Teridax laughed. Mata Nui wasn't trying. He seemed...distracted. “No matter.” he rumbled, “he'll fall all the easier.” Another swing, another blow, Mata Nui staggered back. Mata Nui extended his arms, and vast gravity wells exploded from his hands. Teridax slammed another fist home into the robot. What was he trying to do? None of his attacks, if they could be called that, were directed at him. Was he mocking him? Teridax growled. “The verge of defeat, and he plays the jester!” He raised his fist and-CRASKKSH Teridax screamed, the systems went dead, the ceiling caved in, and in one slow motion, he felt the entire Universe-his universe-fall. The sound, the groaning, the sudden crash of hitting the planet made him scream again. Then the lights went out. --------------------------------------- He yanked his arms free of the rubble. He gasped in pain as he crawled forward, looking for an exit. His arms were bent at unnatural angles. He couldn't feel his legs. He wasn't sure if they were even still attached to his form. “Mmm....Mata...” The Universe groaned around him, shifting, as it settled into the planet's surface. He blindly moved forward, moving over, under, around the rubble in his path. Sudden fear struck him; was he moving out of the Universe, or deeper into it? He couldn't tell. Teridax collapsed in weakness. “I...did the right thing, Mata Nui.” “You were supposed to protect me and the Matoran. Seizing control of the Universe, Teridax, was treason. You murdered thousands, and caused great pain to all beings you were assigned to protect.” Teridax growled. “No...no, you caused great pain. You forgot to look within, at us. You became self-absorbed. Became...greedy. You forgot your Unity in sake of your Duty. You let us live in fear and pain, with no answers, because you thought yourself....higher.” “If I could go back, and do everything over again, I would. I never wanted this, I never wanted you to suffer; I still don't. But I can't go back. Destiny can be changed, but we pick the roads of our Destiny. You choose yours, I choose mine. This is why you are here, dying, old friend.” Teridax whimpered. “How will the Matoran remember me? I only did...what I did...for them. To guide them, and protect them, because you wouldn't.” “Teridax....I-I....don't know. Do you wish to die with that on your mind?” Silence. “Teridax?” “Mata Nui...” “It's going to be okay, friend. I'm here.” “I....I'm cold.....don't...forget me...” “I won't. I never will. Goodnight, Teridax, your Destiny is complete.” Teridax rolled onto his back, and looked up at the ceiling above. And he smiled.

OOC version please. Where are we headed? who's this mysterious captain? and why? The Ark, better known as Ark #351, is currently enroute to a nearby star system in hopes of finding a suitable planet to settle on and began rebuilding a stable civilization. Spherus Magna was destroyed during the battle between Makuta and Mata Nui; Mata Nui managed to save a sizable amount of population from the surface of Bara Magna and used his life force, along with the Mask of Life, to power the Matoran Universe robot for the next few million years. The MU, however, quickly grew over populated and food, building supplies, and even just room to move became rare. To help relieve the problem and seek somewhere to repopulate, the Ark Program was launched. The Ark in the RPG, you guessed it, is the 351st Ark to be launched from the MU in search of a new planet. The Captain isn't mysterious at all. He's a bit rude, slightly drunk, and doesn't care about the mission, but he isn't mysterious.

IC: Atlas | Outside Bionifight Facility Atlas stroked his long beard, and nodded. It sounded good. But somethings still needed to be criticized to the extreme before they could be accepted. "Who are the Cultists, and why are they targeting you and this....facility?" OOC: If you're talking about us, feel free to hop in anytime!!

Quality of the conflict over the Quantity of the conflict. EDIT: New edit of my Ark #351 RPG. Ark #351 0.4 New 'traveler,' eh? Using a term like that, I'm going to assume you were either born yesterday or that head of yours is full of rocks. Here, read the blasted brochure before you say anything more stupid: Welcome to Ark #351! We are glad to have you aboard, brave adventurer! You might have questions, or maybe you desire clarity about your goal before you partake in the greatest trip in the universe; either way, we'll do our best, and what we can't answer, your friendly Captain can! What is the Ark Program?: The Ark Program is our way of insuring the continuation of our collected people groups. As we are sure you've noticed, our universe has become a bit cramped and toxic! Stinky! To help with this, the Arks, large space-craft, are crafted and launched with you, brave adventurer, and your new friends to distant star systems! We hope that one of the many Arks will find a suitable planet to began life again, and carry on that fire we all carry in our hearts. Why have I been selected?: Don't feel sad you're leaving home; your name will go down in history as an adventurer that saved our entire universe! To ensure continuation of all our people, an equal number of each people groups were chosen to be apart of this Ark. You are among the chosen few! Be happy! The selection process was random to ensure fairness; you had as much chance as your spouse, co-worker, or neighbor! Nobody was selected directly, but by numbering and population systems. Why is the Ark Program needed?: Well, adventurer, we're glad you asked! Eons ago, there was a planet known as Spherus Mangus, where all of our people were destined to live together in peace and harmony. Unfortunately, this was not to be so; during a great battle to secure the planet for future generations, un-reversible damage was done to the planet's core! Spherus Mangus shattered, and the great being, Mata Nui, rescued millions of citizens and used his life to power our current universe for eons to come! Unfortunately, we need a lot more than just power! Food, room to move, and even basic materials are in short supply here. Thus, the Ark Program! Who is my Captain?: Your Captain is the friendly leader of your Ark; he'll be guiding you to the nearest star system for resettlement. All Captains are highly trained, polite individuals with great leadership skills and conflict resolution training! Thanks for being a part of Ark #351! We Back Home Salute You! Finished? Good. Here's the paperwork you need to fill out to come aboard. Profile: Name:(If I have to explain this, I'll kick you off the ship myself.) Species:(Toa, Matoran, Agori, Glatorian, Vortixx, Skakdi, or Skrall?) Gender:(Male, female, or what? Put something.) Former Occupation:(Did you scoop Rahi droppings? Put it here.) Occupation:(Leave it blank. You'll be given a new one on the ship; there's no freeloaders on my ship.) Powers:(We all know somebody can throw fire on this ship, we just want to know who.) Personality:(I don't care personally, but we need to if you're a manic or just really weird.) Biography: (I still don't care, but I want to know if you have a history of killing everybody in a bar. Two sentences will be fine, I'm not going to read your novel of poor little you.) Appearance:(I know what you look like, your fellow passengers will know what you look like, but you need to submit a picture or a description here. Don't ask why.) Gear:(What are you bringing with you? No weapons, and we will check.) Locations: Ark #351: Ugly thing, isn't she? I'm still working on a name for her. Made of the finest metal in the Universe, I'm told, which probably means it was dug up at the bottom of some sewer. She's propelled along via some form of magnetic energy, I didn't read up on it, but it doesn't require any kind of fuel; no explosions in space, thank the stars for that. Only a few people will actually spend time outside the ship, so you only need to worry about the inside; all that lovely, expressionless, bley inside. Bridge: This is where I command the entire Ark. Off-limits to most of the crew and passengers except the Bridge Staff. All alarms, announcements, and other useless nonsense I have to push out will come from here. My sleeping quarters are up here as well, so you might not see me often. Like I said, off-limits, don't even try, got it? The Vahki will not hesitate to shove your ugly mug into an airlock. Common Quarters: Part sleeping areas, part entertainment/relaxation areas, it is easily the largest part of the Ark. Every passenger will be issued a personal room upon boarding and a keycard to access it. Beyond that, the rest of the Common Quarters are completely open for everybody, and it includes a restaurant, gym, library, medical bay and star room. All ship-wide meetings are done in the library, and most of you will be given an occupation around here. Personal Rooms: The personal rooms are bley and boring. Bed to the right, small bathroom on the left. Fold out desk on the back wall and one light above. Enjoy your home for the next few weeks. Restaurant/Medical Bay: I imagine it has some silly name, but I just call it the “Restaurant.” Bley, like the rest of the ship, it composed of one long bar in the middle with booths circling the room. One exit leads out to the Common Quarters, the other leads into the Medical Bay. The Medical Bay is well stocked for a trip like this. Enough knockout drugs to keep the entire ship in a coma for twenty years if I wanted. Ten or so beds, with on operating room. I don't imagine we'll be using this area of the ship...much. Gym: Artificial gravity is only going to keep you in shape for so long. The Gym keeps you busy and happy. I have my own personal gym, but you guys have to share this one. I made sure it was stocked with all sorts of equipment. Just don't break it. Library: Mainly manuals and books on settling distant planets, there are some books for entertainment. The bookshelves do retract when we need to hold a ship-wide meeting. Feel free to hang out and read the entire trip away. Just leave me alone. Star Room: Quite frankly the most useless part of the ship. It's some little hologram and a bunch of maps showing where we are from the Universe, and the estimated distance from our target star system. Word is you can look at all sorts of pretty pictures of various star systems and the like as well, but that doesn't sound fun to me. Life Support: Near the bottom of the ship is the Life Support room. Oxygen recycling, water recycling, and even a small farm to produce extra food. Heavily guarded, and if I have to tell you why that's a fact, I'll shoot you out the airlock. Only certified crew members can come down here. Cargo: Not much to say about the Cargo. Big room at the tail end of the ship, filled with everything we need to make it to our star system. Nothing much worthwhile back here, but I don't advise staying back here. One box slips off the stack and we're a passenger down. This is also the location for the primary airlock out of the ship, and the bay door for unloading once we reach our location. If we reach it. Current Events/Announcements/Job Postings: I'll keep a board up in the restaurant of all the going-ons in the ship. Including the gossip. Nothing slips past me. Rules: Good, paperwork filled out? Excellent, just pin it to the discussion board over there, and once we get around to approving your entrance, maybe we'll let you on after you read the rules: Rule 1. Abide by all rules of the Ark.(BZPower). Rule 2. You are not God and you are not without flaws; you will be shot out an airlock for this. I'm the only God aboard, remember that(No Godmodding.). Rule 3. You aren't allowed to destroy the ship however you like. I might let you destroy parts of it, but depends on how much I drink the night before. Oh yeah, try to refrain from killing your fellow passengers, alright?(Instant kills and destruction of the ship are forbidden.) Rule 4. What's the point of being in a pressurized container, flying through the void of space, if we don't have a party every now and then?(Have fun!) ------------------------------------ Descriptions are still a bit wonky. Still deciding if I like them or not, and more information needs to be added. GM character profiles do need to be added as well. Working on those as we speak. A bit more plot description is planned. But I can give you the OOC version if needed.

There's a joke in here somewhere, but I'm not catching it....

Or otherwise known as Victory-191 Series. The premise of the entire series is that the Union actually lost the American Civil War, and the Confederacy existed all the way up to 1945(ish). The point of change, or divergence, is that a series of plans Robert E. Lee created were not captured by Union Scouts in 1862. The plans, Order 191, instead made their way safely to Lee's men, the attack was carried out, and the Union had to surrender. The series is composed of 11 books, split into one standalone book and three distinct series. Roughly, the books mark the time frame of the 1880's, 1912-1918, 1918-1941, and 1941-1946. It is a lot of information to digest, and a lot to read, if you don't have a deep interest in Alt. History or Turtledove's works in general. I was pretty much exhausted when I finished, and it took me about 2 months to get through it all with nightly readings. Was it worth it? I have to say "eh." Some books were better than others. Parts felt rushed, and a lot of it was, I noticed, just repeats upon repeats. A good 35% of the series could have been cut out if Turtledove didn't continually repeat what the character was doing in detail, even though it he had just told you a chapter earlier. The amount of POVs was a bit staggering as well. I found it slightly difficult to keep it up towards the end. Quite a few he could have just cut out, or used briefly to provide more light on this scene or that. Knowing a lot about American and World History from 1860-1950 did make it less surprising when any twists came along, but it was an alright plot. Gotta say, the best character was this series' version of Adolf Hitler. He had the most character development from 1912-1945, which was a bit sad. Overall? I say read it if you like history, but if you don't, don't. I give it a 6.5/10 for the entire series. God, that was a lot of reading....

I have a Character in Po-Koro looking for interaction. Can't tell you where the best spot for interaction is though.

IC: Augustus | Gym Augustus calmed down slightly. It seemed like only some students were targeting others, and the rest were either leaving or wandering about. "Huh." Well, it seemed safe enough. OOC: Augustus OFI

IC: Yenroot Yenroot kept his position, and felt his muscles tighten as the third being approached. Staff-man, thinks he's funny. Yenroot swore. Coming across the female alone was good odds. Being cornered by the mysterious male ruined that, and now the third one definitely tipped the scales in a bad direction. But who was on which side? Yenroot swore aloud this time. "Bow is going up." He announced to the trio of....treasure hunters? Makuta hunters? Friends? Whatever they were, they had him. The arrow fell from the string to the ground and he lifted the bow over his head. He knelt to the ground and bowed his head; an universal gesture of surrender. Hopefully these people knew of mercy.

Plot is: win the space war whilst benefiting personally, visit new planets before others, and fight fight fight because fighting is much wanted in RPGs. Yeah, there's nothing specific on the order the sections come in. When i update it to include GMs, i'll move the character template/species to the bottom. Also, you think i should allow Agori/Glatorian? The plot might be just too sandbox to keep players from, I quote from above, "drift aimlessly." Why not? I see no harm from allowing them.

Is there a plot, or is it sandbox as well? The layout is rather...messy. Why put the profile at the top? Wouldn't it make more sense to go: Introduction Factions NPC Characters Weapons/Armor/Ships Profile Rules You gotta have it flow down from the introduction and plot to character creation and then introduce rules and any OOC items.

IC: Augustus | Gym Augustus' eyes darted back and forth in the room. The fighting was dying down, but it looked like some of the students were dying on top of that. He couldn't see anybody of authority here; sure, there were the Rahkshi that had their own groups or cliques, but nothing bigger than that. "Frick."

IC: Yenroot Yenroot peeked his head over the bush in front of him. Small clearing, a bag, and...a female. Crouched. Looked like she was messing with some material, a tarp or something. He couldn't tell the species, but he would have to play it safe. Bow up, arrow pulled tight, aim. Continue moving for- "Alright stay calm, stranger. And stop moving. We need to talk. Just a few things you need to tell me." Yenroot nearly released the arrow, but he kept his grip. Lucky for the female. The male behind him though.... "Answer one of mine first, will ya?" he breathed in reply. "That female. Friend of yours? Play nice and this here arrow will find a home elsewhere." His mask glowed slightly to accent his tone. He didn't plan on missing if he struck.

Hm, never assumed that'd be a problem since I wrote an entire 20 chapter epic without having a single line space and nobody complained. Anyway it's been fixed. People are different, that is true. But, man, I can't handle that sort of thing. It's just my eyes.

Not to be overtly rude here, but it is unreadable. I have extreme difficulty reading walls of text, and while I can tell where one paragraph ends, I cannot tell where they start; it all starts blurring together. Paragraph spacing is your best friend! Use it! Cherish it! I want to read this story, but I just can't, not in its current state.

Um, well, it looks like decent animation so far. Never played the Angry Birds games myself, but I have a feeling that they aren't exactly going to be throwing themselves at the pigs in this movie. Could be an okay film, or the worst film ever. One of the two.

IC: Atlas | Outside Bionifight Facility Atlas paused as the entrance came into sight. "What's in there?" he demanded. He wasn't going to fall for any traps. Dying was a goal for another day. Today, he was going to live.

OOC: Hope you don't mind some unexpected company guys! IC: Yenroot Fat blood-benders and calm Skakdi. The day could not get any more strange. Luckily, he noted with a wide grin, it was about over. Soon the Rahi would be more open in their movements, and he could really hunt. Best practice is actually doing it. The grass crunched softly as he padded up the sloping hill. Yenroot's eyes kept drifting to the ground beneath his feet, and his hat started to slide off when he heard the faint thud of something heavy, possibly metallic in nature, hitting the ground. His head darted up and his bow was drawn with great speed. He crept forward, staying along the edge of the forest. The weight of the sound, he figured, marked it as a body. What else would sound that heavy? And if it was a body, that meant one of those...undesirable characters were up ahead. "Hopefully," he muttered, pushing a bush out of his path, "that was their body hitting the ground, and not the other way around." OOC: Interacting with Trava, Hammerlock(More or less.)

This entire conversation is pointless. Lets move onto something more productive, no?