Kal the Guardian

I though the delete vote just deleted your vote and ability to vote again. Heh. -Toa Levacius Zehvor

Yeah. Same here. Can you really take back your vote and vote again? That seems cheap...

Yup. It's all true. How B6 acquired that hat, though, I can't say.

Oh, boy. It was really tough to decide. But in the end I went with 3, 4, and 8.Now let the crazy offerings of bribes commence!

And it's B6's magical top hat, so it'll be fair no matter what.

Yeah, your RPG, which might get my vote? Ugh, I can't decide! So many good ones.Plus I can't actually vote yet.

IC / Ring HQ / Lyxek’s Throne Room:This. Was. Bad.Not bad as in Brother was bad as in evil, but bad bad, as in not good, or, a bad thing to happen. Because a bad thing was definitely happening. Lyxek definitely had something special up his sleeve, and it was wrapped around Brother and called the Collector. Or at least that was one part of whatever power Lyxek had now.Plus the Collectors essence had absolutely shredded his cloak. That was so not going to help Lyxek not get killed.Despite the way the room seemed to shift under the Toa’s word, Brother stood his ground. Of course this didn’t stop the Collector from sliding him forward on his large feet. Instead he folded his arms and smirked at the Toa, “No, I am not 'coming to get you', as you put it.”Brother resisted for a second more and then slowly walked to the seats, still refusing to sit, “I’ve come to rid the island from what you’ve become and plan to be.”Meanwhile Brother was gathering the shadows in the somewhat dark room. They thickened and the room grew darker. No attacks came, but Brother could feel and almost taste the thickness of the air. There seemed to be something different in Lyxek. Almost in how he held himself.Well, attacking him directly was out of the question. And what was the Collector’s weakness anyway? Definitely not shadow, that was for certain. Perhaps now was time to let Lyxek lay out his cards, as he so often did. Brother could always cheat, but then again, no matter what, Lyxek seemed to still have superior cards. For now.Sitting down with arms still folded, Brother inclined his head, “What do you wish to tell me?”IC / West District / With Eryn:Waiter jumped back and had his sword out and pointed at Eryn as she suddenly landed in front of him. He had not expected that. Thankfully, despite looking different from yesterday, she had the same voice, which alerted Waiter to who she was.Putting away his weapon, Waiter propped the bike up against the nearest building and jumped upon Eryn’s back. Getting a firm grip, he said, “Tower of Tyis, to be specific. Or at least that’s where I believe Alan will be. Let’s go.”

Actually, for the final poll, it's only three votes, so, yeah. Although I'm glad Dreamland made it through. Can't wait to see who wins this battle of awesome RPGs.

IC / Ring HQ / Lyxek’s Throne Room: Unfortunately, although it’s yet to be discerned for whom, the two silence generators strapped to Brother’s chest, under his cloak, were still powered on, along with his camouflage. Both items were far enough away from Lyxek’s shock wave to remain unaffected, as evidenced by Brother not hearing anything Lyxek said and Brother remaining unseen for a few moments. Or maybe that Lyxek never said; Brother wasn’t too sure of the range of the two backup generators he had on him. Either way, Brother moved his hands in a circular motion before Lyxek finished speaking. This called the shadows to once again surround him and also created spikes around Lyxek except without the sphere that they had been in, in the last attack. This time he would see how the Toa had escaped. Brother brought his fists together and the spikes tried to connect with the opposite spikes on the other side of an imaginary sphere. The Rahkshi also began to back up. If this Toa displayed another act of supernatural power, or just unknown power, he was out of there to report his findings to Zanth, wherever that being happened to be.IC / West District / Talking on the Crest: Waiter stopped moving as his crest crackled to life and Eryn spoke. Once she had finished, Waiter looked down at the bicycle he was sitting on, “Yeah, Eryn… the… robot from yesterday. I could definitely use fast transformation. “But I’m in the middle of the West District. How fast is this transport exactly?”

IC / Ring HQ / Lyxek’s Throne Room:Ok, things were about to get hectic.Brother memorized the room the best he could in the short time he looked and closed his eyes, drawing on his power of shadows to now feel the room. No one was moving enough for him to recognize where they were by their shadows, so that’s why he had looked where they had been.Now, he needed to do several things almost simultaneously. Shadows gripped the generators on his back, ready to move while Brother visualized what he was about to do next. Physically moving had nothing to do with using his power, but it helped him focus anyway. As such, the Rahkshi dropped his arms to his side and then threw them up and out. Then he pointed both hands towards Lyxek himself. As his did this, several things happened, hopefully.Needless to say, in order to do all this almost at once, Brother was glad he had almost double the power of a normal Toa, plus he wasn’t some being that couldn’t think to save his life.The first thing that happened was that the shadows around the four guards rose up and attempted to strangle them into unconsciousness. After that was finished and they were hopefully all knocked out, the silence generators were pulled from their place on Brother’s back and placed in a semi circle around Lyxek. Thankfully it appeared all their camouflage buttons were working as well.And then the last thing that happened was that a solid sphere of shadow appeared around Lyxek and his throne. Spikes grew inside, at all angles, and then rushed out to meet the other side of the sphere, even if they had to go through Lyxek and what he was lounging on.All this happened as Brother had lifted his arms at his sides and then brought them forward. As he was doing this though, the shadows around him were dispersed as he didn’t concentrate on them. So, along with the silence generators, the only thing keeping him hidden was the camouflage device. Of course none of this would matter if Lyxek died like he was supposed to, and that no one would come to crash the party.

IC / Ring HQ / Lyxek’s Throne Room:Brother shifted the weight of the silence generators on his back and took a moment to quickly inspect his equipment. The shadows receded and he saw that the camouflage button was indeed working. Recalling the shadows, he used them to engage the buttons on all the equipment around him, as well as turning them on.Having shadow as a power was certainly convenient, he didn’t have to manually touch things to switch them on. Now, in utter silence due to the effects of the now activated generators, Brother eased open one door and slipped inside the throne room. Both hands raised and ready to control the shadows of the room.IC / West District / Talking on le Crest:“That’s fine,” Waiter started forward again, “Thank you, Ehjoras. Out.”The Toa cut the connection and took the next turn right. He was heading for Tyis Island, which he had just left.

IC / Ring HQ / Moving through the Hallways:There was… no one there?Not to mention only one out of every ten lights were actually on. Still, it paid to be cautious. But then again, if the smoke rising out of the mountain was any factor, then something big might be going on down in the bowels of the mountain. Perhaps a ceremony for the Heart?Brother began to run down the halls, heading towards Lyxek’s thrown room. The shadows embraced him as he raced past. Except for the sound of his feet slapping against the cold stone, he was basically invisible. Providing nothing got in his way, he would be before Lyxek’s thrown in no time.IC / West District / Talking on his Crest:“Well, Ehjoras,” Waiter said as he surveyed his surroundings, always wary, “The Guild gave me a tablet to give to Alan. I was wondering if you knew where he was or if you could contact him for me.”

IC / KNPD HQ / Hacking out on the Street:Swerv physically gasped and terminated his connection. Whatever had destroyed his program was aggressively vicious and had the capability to keep him out of the system if he was detected. He turned to Draxion and said, “Well, we have no hope of hacking the KNPD. Either the Director is and AI like Alan said, or the Collector is in their system.“It would take me a long time of preparation to hope to combat something like that. I don’t have the power behind me that they do. Let’s try the Ring.”Starting up the Unpredictable, Swerv let it sit there idling as he turned to Draxion and asked, “Any clue where Ring HQ is?”The Rahkshi shrugged and Swerv shook his head, “Some help you are. Now what do we do?”Draxion looked around and asked, “What about physically testing the defenses?”Swerv started ahead at the building. The blizzard Draxion had raging rendered his normal vision useless, so he switched to heat vision. Yep, the crowd was still there. The defenses would have to wait. “You know,” Swerv said, “Explosives can fix a lot of problems. Let’s go find some.“You keep up this storm; just don’t let it reach the Day Run.”The gold Rahkshi nodded as Swerv pulled away from the curb and drove off.IC / Ring HQ / Right Outside the Main Doors:Brother reached inside his cloak and activated his chameleon button. Now, even if bright light was employed, he had an even bigger chance of not being seen. He felt the button activate and then rushed forward. The Rahkshi reached out and used his shadow to force open a single door. He slipped inside, the shadows moving with him and closing the door behind him without a sound.Quickly moving to the darkest spot in the room, Brother hunkered down. Once again it was time to analyze the situation so far.IC / West District / Stopped for a Chat:Waiter frowned, “Err, well. Kerid gave me this crest, and said I could contact her with it. Who are you?”The dumb approach. Hopefully the voice on the other side of the crest had not subdued Kerid in some way. Stopping in mid-pedal, Waiter moved off to the side of the street with his bike. He needed to be ready to help Kerid if she needed it.Of course it was probably just one of the Day Run workers, but one could never assume too much.

IC / KNPD HQ / Hacking Wirelessly: The storm Draxion had summoned had finally arrived. Its center hung above the KNPD Headquarters and then dumped its snow in a fury. The winds picked up and began to whip up and down the streets, blowing the precipitation fiercely around. Swerv, after a few minutes, had gotten into the main system. Really that was no accomplishment. Now he saw what all KNPD members had access to. But now he could find what he was really looking for. Cameras and security measures. There seemed to be another, amazingly deep layer of security though. Almost a completely different system. What could that be? Creating a quick program, Swerv quickly ceased all of his activity in the system and watched. His program began to feebly crack into the deep system. It didn’t have much of a chance, since it wasn’t even Swerv himself, but the robot just wanted to see how that deep security layer would react.IC / Ring HQ / Outside: Brother scratched at his metallic chin, which absolutely served no purpose whatsoever besides being something he did when he thought. There was smoke that seemed to be emanating from the mountain and drifting up to join the clouds above that were faintly dropping snow. That was different, but not something to be concerned about at the moment. And then something crossed Brother’s mind. The Heart needed souls. He would not kill the guards. Flicking his hand outwards, shadow tendrils burst from the ground at both of the guards’ feet. The tendrils would hopefully constrict fast enough so that the guards would not cry for help and that they would constrict enough to knock out the guards but not kill them. If they were both knocked out, then his next move was rushing towards the mountain and gaining access.

I went with 1, 4, 5, and 6. *looks up* Oh hai, TPtI.

I went with 3, 6, 7, and 8.

Last time we had only two polls to start with, B6 let us vote for 4 entries. And then only 3 entries in the final poll.

IC / Ring Mountain / Knocking on Lyxek’s Door:Brother took a deep breath as he readied himself. One question remained. Kill the guards or knock them out? Then again, he could just try to slip by like before. But things might have been added to the security since the day before. It was best to test things slowly before rushing it.He remained hunkered in his cloak of shadows as he surveyed the opening into the mountain. Was anything different from the day before?IC / West District / Riding Fast:Waiter ignored the looks he was getting as he rolled down the street. He was riding a bicycle two sizes too small for him that he had found in the trash and had modified so that he could ride it. The Toa looked absolutely ridiculous.But he was making good time. Now just to find Alan. Waiter spoke into his crest and said, “Is this the Day Run? This is Waiter.”IC / Dark Hunter Ship / Talking:“Oh,” Sevorik said to no one in particular with a look of realization on his face, “I should have told him my code name, shouldn’t I?”IC / Dark Hunter Ship / Talking:Sitting with limbs at awkward angles, Desoria spoke up in an old, tired voice, “Just call me Fate. I’ve been doing this for far longer than I wish to remember. Almost 679 years now. But no one pays attention to the old Turaga anymore.”

It's fine, Mr. B6. We all know you're very busy.Just hurry.

Sad to see you go, Skarloth. But thanks for that vote for the Day Run.

Ha ha! Cannon Fodder. Ugh, I forgot all Dark Hunters use code names. DX I'll have to fix that.

IC / KNPD HQ / Building a Storm:Draxion reached out with his power and felt for any kind of moisture in the sky. Nothing near the Day Run, and the north was just frozen, but the south-east mountains were holding a few clouds around their tops.Grabbing them, the clouds quickly multiplied as the Rahkshi began to pull them towards his position. From bright white and down to a dark gray the clouds changed as they moved. Pulling more moisture from the air, the clouds doubled as they began to billow about as they went along.And when the air was relatively dry, Draxion just created clouds using his power instead of forming them from what was already there. When they reached the East District, the golden Rahkshi let them let go of some of their load.As the skies darkened over the south part of the East District, it began to snow.IC / Victus Dead / Grabbing Equipment:Brother grabbed the miniaturized gear and began to strap it to his body so that it would not jostle and make noise when he moved. Since it was all smaller equipment, it wasn’t that hard to do. Finally, after ten minutes and rechecking everything, Brother was ready. Once again, he flew out the window and headed to Ring HQ.IC / West District / At a Garage:“No, no,” Waiter said as he talked with some crazy Steltian, “I don’t need to get anything fixed; I need to get a vehicle first.”“Well,” the Steltian replied, “Then come back when you need it fixed.”Waiter shook his head and groaned. “So, do you sell vehicles?”The Steltian slowly shook his head, “Nope, but Thermox over across the street does. Course she’s probably out for a late breakfast again. She might be back soon.”Blinking twice, Waiter said “Never mind” and walked out of the shop. Time to look somewhere else.IC / Jial Island / Dark Hunter Group:Sevorik didn’t let Khad say anything before pushing his way forward out of the group of seven and saying, “The name’s Sevorik. But you can call me Sev.” The extremely skinny Vortixx pointed to the being directly behind him, “This is Desoria.”It turns out Sevorik was actually blocking Khad’s view of Desoria, so he couldn’t actually see the Turaga turned Dark Hunter. Continuing, Sev said, “Her extended arms and legs do not fold. You can sit next to her.”At this, Sevorik backed up and shut up, letting the other, formerly crowded Dark Hunters introduce themselves.

Tl;dr. Anyway. The last sentence is totally awkward. "You must save the island, and finding the toa, unlocking the secrets of the island and changing the course of history forever come along in your journey." What are you trying to say!

Pretty much exactly what I said. The primary goal is to save the island. If you don't save it, everyone dies and there is no point to it. In order to save the island, you have to find the toa. There is the mystery of what happened to the gods, where they went, if they abandoned the island or there is something sinister afoot (hint: there is), etc. Obviously, by figuring out what's happening, the players unlock the secrets of the island. There are a lot of these. The intro subtly establishes the lack of knowledge the inhabitants have on their home, with even the Elders having limits to their knowledge. And it goes without saying that once the above is done, history would have been changed. Any more questions?I know what the sentence means, it's just that I don't understand how it was worded. I still don't.

Gameplay. Matoran? Sad (Uber powers can not be used. ). Although minor powers are good. Otherwise this seems more like a thinking game to accomplish what we want to do, which is also a plus. Although if no other species can be played at this time and we might unlock toa later, when will we get to play as other species? Will we ever be able to?

Yup, more questions.What other species? None were mentioned, and it can be assumed that the island is the only one in the area. The toa-gods made it far away from other civilizations for specific reasons. So suffice to say, there will be no other species available to play save the first two stages of a matoran life.You said no other species would be allowed until later. And then you made it seem as if Toa were seperate from this, so I assumed you meant Skakdi or Vortixx or such.

Geography. Well, it being an artificial island is a very interesting concept and will provide for some very interesting descriptions. Nice, if a bit strange, map.Po-Wahi. Wouldn't the natural moat be filled with sand eventually? And, "...the river is almost made from this air..." What does that mean?Le-Wahi. "The lucky ones have hits in the giant tree's..." Lol, hits.Onu-Wahi. You use plural caves and caverns and then use "it" to describe the caves and caverns twice. It should be "them".Otherwise the locations are beautiful. They are original (due to the artificialness of the island) and very well described.

So you found all my typos. XD Try these: "Made of thin air," and "huts in the [...] tree."I wanted to explore the possibility of an island not being an island after all, something we were confronted with with Mata Nui being Mata Nui's obscured face more than an actual island. What it all boils down to, however, is that the island is filled with specific things that serve specific purposes, either to support the island infrastructure or maintain an artificial aura, since it is artificial. With that in mind, one must know that nothing in the setting is truly natural save gravity and the other laws of nature. The sand river is an example of this. The moat doesn't fill because it was created that way, and there are failsafes to prevent catastrophes that were not engineered. It's neither a shoo-in or a deus ex, it's just the way it was made to be.Well that just makes it even cooler.

Rules are rules and these are somewhat funny to me.

But all rules should be reiterated for those who don't know better. Better safe than sorry, etc. Plus, as a gamemaster, having rules helps maintain a standard when it comes to enforcing good RPing in the game itself. It's a necesarry item, and it pains me when an RPG doesn't have any. I don't approve RPGs in COT unless it has rules, either, and neither do any of the other Judges.My thoughts as well, it's just that you can't really review the rules section unless something is missing or incomplete.

IC / KNPD HQ / In Wonder: The Unpredictable sat idling. Swerv shook his head in disbelief. There was a mob in front of the KNPD. He turned to Draxion, who shrugged. The robot shook his head once more and pulled to the side of the road. They were quite a ways away from the HQ, but still had a direct line of sight. Swerv plugged his cables into the on board computer in Unpredictable and tested the wireless connections around him. Glancing at Draxion, he said, “Could I have some atmospheric disturbance?” Draxion nodded with a reptilian grin and began to do whatever it was that he did. Swerv recognized the face on the Rahkshi and said, “A natural storm. Bring it in from the mountains, slowly. I need time to work.” The Rahkshi gave the robot a look that said “Seriously?”, but apparent did what he was asked. Swerv narrowed down the encoded channels and chose the one he thought was the KNPD’s wireless system. Now, to test the waters; he started a standard decryption program, which rapidly tried sequences of numbers, symbols, and letters to gain access to the system.IC / North District / Frustrated: Brother growled to himself and landed atop a random building. A startled Vortixx almost dropped the wiper he was using to clean windows. Beginning to pace, Brother ignored the other being, who was currently hanging off the building in some cage that allowed accessibility for cleaning. So, it seemed Visorak stomach juice or whatever it was, was not just rare, but extremely rare, at least on this island. Just his luck. Blasting a stray brick with a small shadow ball, Brother released some tension. The plan would work with what he already had. And even if things went horribly wrong, he could just call it a scouting mission and then label it a success. Yes, that was what he was going to do. Plan to kill Lyxek, just because he seemed to be Dalmia’s unknowing pawn, and if not, he was testing to see what real powers the Toa of “Luck” had. Hopping into flight mode, Brother began the flight back to his hotel room. IC / West District / Running: Waiter had arrived at the West District, only to realize there were a bunch of garages, but half of them were closed or only did repairs. Great, now he would probably miss Alan, wherever that Toa with wings was. Or… He could call Kerid using his crest and ask where Alan was… Yes, he would do that once he found a vehicle.

Epoch of DespairOpening. I really like this. Although the use of "old man" sort of threw me along with "boy" and the like. It's just that I don't really like to describe Matoran like that. Though I do appreciate how you seem to call the two characters here different things each time you mention them while still having us understand who is who.Introduction. So this is a basic story, but very well told. I love how the island is breaking down. Although the Toa must live somewhere or else the island should be mostly gone, At least that's what it seems to me. Or the Toa place their power in objects to keep the island together. This concept and my questioning are definately good and so far I am hooked.Tl;dr. Anyway. The last sentence is totally awkward. "You must save the island, and finding the toa, unlocking the secrets of the island and changing the course of history forever come along in your journey." What are you trying to say! Gameplay. Matoran? Sad (Uber powers can not be used. ). Although minor powers are good. Otherwise this seems more like a thinking game to accomplish what we want to do, which is also a plus. Although if no other species can be played at this time and we might unlock toa later, when will we get to play as other species? Will we ever be able to?Geography. Well, it being an artificial island is a very interesting concept and will provide for some very interesting descriptions. Nice, if a bit strange, map.Po-Wahi. Wouldn't the natural moat be filled with sand eventually? And, "...the river is almost made from this air..." What does that mean?Le-Wahi. "The lucky ones have hits in the giant tree's..." Lol, hits.Onu-Wahi. You use plural caves and caverns and then use "it" to describe the caves and caverns twice. It should be "them".Otherwise the locations are beautiful. They are original (due to the artificialness of the island) and very well described.Factions. The Elders. "They are the closest there is to a turaga..."Order of Calix. "...few are as devoted as they and take part in their activities." ?? Ok what? Are you saying others don't take part or that they do?Besides those wording errors, these factions are unique to island and I really like them. Although I do not know which one I would put backing into, since they all seem to be gray at the moment.NPCs. Arrys. "...and some murmur tat since..." Despite not using a proper profile sheet for them, these NPCs are really interesting and I would love to see more of them.Matoran Powers. The second sentence should be less awkward, like this, "It is a round disk that possesses a power, granted by the toa-gods, to the matoran who owns it. The power is specific to that matoran." But really this is a great way to give us powers as Matoran. And you make it so there isn't too much of a point to steal them except to stop the user from using them. Although no one knows how to craft a mask from them? No one has figured it out? I'm guessing powers are limited in the profile section.Character Sheet. The Profile is basic, but it works. Although I don't see any limits on the power disk, I'm sure you would just say something is too powerful before approving it. But I do want an example for how powerful a disk can be to base mine off of. No Factions slot?Rules are rules and these are somewhat funny to me.Overall I love how simple this appears and yet how complex it can be. This is definately a winning RPG, even with the limited use of only Matoran.Good luck in the contest!

Ok, then I'll just find some random garage and buy a bicycle.