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Showing results for tags 'epic'.
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Almost a month later, I've moved forward several chapters, and I'm even more excited at this point. The finale of the first book is in sight, and I think I only need two or three more chapters before diving into the conclusion, which itself may span another two or three chapters. I'm leaning towards two, though, as I'm writing in a slightly different style. What style? As you'll notice right away from the beginning of the story once it's posted in December, I write about events first and things second. Action is prioritized over subjects, but I don't mean I ignore beautiful descriptions and character moments. I simply merge them so closely and have written the plot so that action is constantly pushing the description and the character progressions. It's the most fast-paced story I've ever written, and it only starts to really slow down after ten or eleven chapters. Pretty crazy. I also wanted to share that I solved a plot hole that had been looming for a few months now. I wanted this to happen, but it didn't make sense with that. Then on a walk home I just got to thinking and envisioned a tiny part of a scene I had planned, and realized the solution was staring me in the face. The solution was actually the solution to another problem in the story, and I realized it could act as two solutions in one. Actually brought a grin to my face as I felt everything clicking together. It's a great feeling. Once again, I'm very excited to present my newest story to you. I aim to finish the raw writing by end of October, and spend November revising and tightening it up. I've decided not to kill myself over details like I did with This World - that really was why I had to give up and end it because I pressured myself too much to make it perfect. It won't be winning awards for lyrical grammar or any such nonsense, but I do hope it is a fun story to read and theorize with as you go along. Two and a half months left. Here we go.
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Greetings, and welcome to the Tales of Agomnan review topic! This is a series of short stories (in effect, a serial) I wrote last year and thought I'd share. So far, there are three such stories, though I intend to write more if there is interest. Post your thoughts, criticisms, love, hate, and whatever else you have to say! Edit 10/7/14: If anyone actually reads this, Chapter 2 is now up! Link to the topic
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Chapter One: A Tale of Eberhard Eberhard, a skilled young warrior garbed in leather armor, gripped a sword in his hand. In his dark eyes was a look of intense determination. Suddenly, he landed on his back, defeated. “Excellent work, both of you,” his master, a middle-aged man of great strength and agility, told his assembled pupils. His weathered gray cloak gave him the appearance of a wise sage. “These two, Eberhard and Llwelyn, have provided the best example of the Tsaeb mode of combat I have seen in many Offerings.” The master, who was named Tirem, and his students were gathered in a small forest clearing. Winter was approaching, as evidenced by the bare trees and gray sky. Tirem and his students met there daily to practice the Tabocim, the defensive arts. Mastery of these arts was the key to their civilization's survival if the long-anticipated war at last broke out. “It should come as no surprise to anyone that they are to contend for the favor of Agomnan tomorrow. All of you are worthy to serve Agomnan; but only they have shown the fortitude to accomplish Agomnan’s uncertain challenge. "I believe this has been enough for one day. I shall see you on the morrow, when the Offering shall take place, and we shall discover who will win the favor of Agomnan. May this land of Ileway fare well till then. Hwyl fawr.” ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************** “Hwyl fawr” was the customary farewell of the people of Ileway, the Syrochii. Like many of their expressions, it came from the language of the Kelbyaji, a race of powerful, benevolent beings who had once ruled the known world. Their downfall came when one of their number, Atukam, became power-hungry and locked them in a special prison that would transfer their powers to him. He then had little difficulty turning Ileway and the surrounding lands into his empire, over which he wielded power of the most oppressive kind. So cruel was he that his subjects would refer to him only as “the Nameless One.” Thankfully, Agomnan, the Spirit of Power, had arisen shortly thereafter, seemingly out of nowhere, rallying the people against Atukam and banishing him to Suratis, the underworld. In return for this great service, and so he could keep Atukam at bay, he demanded a day of Offering each month. On this day, the people of each settlement would gather, and led by Agomnan's appointed priests, each individual would surrender a piece of Minaru, a metallic gray metal that was abundant in Ileway's riverbeds. Its exact properties were unknown, though it was not difficult to sense, inexplicably, that it held some hidden, mysterious power within. Despite Agomnan's protection, however, the people lived in fear that one day Atukam might break loose, beginning a war of unimaginable devastation. ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************** After being dismissed, Eberhard stopped for a drink from a nearby stream. As he raised his cupped hands to his mouth, he felt a soft kick in his side. Above him stood Llwelyn, a jovial grin on his face. “You really ought to be more careful,” said Llwelyn. “You never know when someone might sneak up behind you . . . and they might not be as friendly as I.” “They might not be? Well, then, perhaps I shouldn’t envy you for being all-but-guaranteed to win,” Eberhard replied, still a bit flustered. “Whatever task you are charged with, I’m sure it will involve a great deal of peril.” “No doubt, my friend, no doubt. But don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re as able a warrior as I; fortune has been kind to me of late , nothing more. Who knows if it will still be with me tomorrow.” “I’d not bet on it to change. Still, I’ll welcome it gladly if it defects.” “Well, there’s little use for mere mortals to predict the future. But I grow weary as we speak. I bid you a good night, Eberhard. Hwyl fawr.” “Hwyl fawr, Llwelyn.” ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************** Following this exchange, Eberhard wandered through the forest to his home. As he walked, he contemplated the day's events. His defeat by Llwelyn did not bode well, regardless of Llwelyn’s own remarks and Tirem’s praise. He was sure his master was simply attempting to ease the pain of defeat. Tirem knew Eberhard’s life’s ambition was to be the greatest warrior the Syrochii had ever seen. Such a warrior would be certain to win the looming contest with ease. Eberhard had a long way to go before he would be the best warrior in Favauoc, let alone all of Ileway. He wondered if his dream was futile. Perhaps if he were stronger, or had better reflexes, he would have a chance someday. As things stood, his prospects were not promising. His nearly assured defeat in the next day’s fight would likely spell the end of his hopes. Presently, he came upon a small, withered pine tree growing amongst the roots of an ancient oak. Was he like the pine tree, he wondered? Destined to live in the shadow of greatness, but never achieve it himself? As Eberhard approached his dwelling, fallen leaves crunching beneath his damp feet, he realized that his short hair and the robes he had changed into after the fight were doing little to insulate him from the late autumn cold. He at last reached his abode, a hut built around a tree, and started a fire. The hut was itself little more than a framework of tree limbs, but it sufficed for Eberhard's spartan needs. As he sat by the fire, he slowly consumed his repast. His mind wandered to the source of his insecurities. He had no recollection of his parents, who had died the winter following his birth. His childhood was spent being passed from one home to the next. No one wanted a mouth to feed that wasn’t of their own flesh and blood, so the people of Favauoc had decided to take turns caring for him. This meant Eberhard had been raised by his entire village, and yet by no one at all, for he never spent enough time in one house to form familial bonds. Such was his lonely existence. Yet, throughout it all, his friend Llwelyn had been present to comfort him. Llwelyn was also an orphan, under the permanent care and tutelage of Tirem. He made sure Eberhard joined Tirem’s band of apprentices as soon as it was permissible. Together, they had studied the Tabocim to the point of mastery. Through the years, and the toil, they had, in a sense, become brothers. Eberhard even grew to see Tirem as a sort of paternal figure. Nonetheless, Eberhard’s lack of a normal upbringing made him feel incomplete. It seemed as though a tiny voice from within constantly whispered doubt into his soul. It told him that, because he was incomplete, forever isolated from others, he could never achieve greatness. It tormented him night and day, refusing all of his efforts to silence it. Still, he persevered. Even if he had no chance of success, he refused to be deterred from making his best attempt. He considered wandering into Favauoc to seek out some amusement to lift his gloomy mood. At last, he settled for practicing the Tsaeb fighting style on a nearby tree and getting a good night's rest before the Offering the next day. He failed to notice the comet that had appeared in the sky, directly above his house. ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************** After bidding Eberhard farewell, Llwelyn wandered around the training grounds, pondering tomorrow’s fight. He’d tried to console Eberhard, in hopes of improving his spirits. He knew such efforts were futile, but he felt he owed it to his friend. He was certain Eberhard’s self-doubt was unfounded. His talents far exceeded those of the other apprentices. In truth, he was, in some ways, a better warrior than Llwelyn. Any passing wanderer could ascertain that with ease. Why couldn’t Eberhard himself see it? As the light in the forest grew dim, Llwelyn wandered home to Tirem’s hut. The path wound through the twisted, deathly tyrgoryn trees, said to have been blighted by the power of Autukam. Eventually, the twisted mass gave way to large, healthy trees that marked the presence of a stream. It was a shallow one with long, rocky shores, which were littered with Minaru. Llwelyn collected the shiniest piece he could find and continued his journey home. He now felt fully prepared for whatever lay in wait beyond the coming dawn. ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************** Eberhard rose early the next morning and made the short journey into Favauoc. The village was spread out, with no two huts closer than fifty feet from each other. At the center of the village was a huge, gnarled tree with three trunks and outermost branches descending to the ground. The tree served as the village’s temple. As Eberhard approached, he saw that several others had already congregated there. Among them was Llwelyn, dressed in his finest armor, fashioned from leather embedded with bits of metal. Upon seeing Eberhard, he approached him, a pensive look in his eye. “How fare you?” he inquired. “I’m fine,” Eberhard replied bluntly. “I see,” answered Llwelyn, unconvinced by Eberhard’s words. “May Agomnan look favorably upon you.” “And may he do the same to you.” Unwilling to face his friend any longer, Eberhard moved away, his eyes fixed on the ground. He was insecure enough without having to speak with his friend and rival just before the fight that might determine the course of his life. Then again, at least Llwelyn was a noble warrior. No matter the outcome of the match, they would remain friends.. After a few minutes, all the residents of the village had gathered. The two priests of Agomnan appeared in the distance, chanting, their black robes flowing magnificently as they moved toward the congregation. When they reached the tree, utter silence fell. “Gathered friends, let us to the great Agomnan our Minaru offer up,” said the first priest in a slow, commanding voice. “Thus shall be at bay kept the One Who Is Nameless.” Slowly, everyone passed their Minaru forward to the priests, who piled the offerings around the base of the tree. When everyone was finished, there was a great flash of light, and when it passed, the Minaru was gone. “Now certain is our safety from the One Who Is Nameless,” said the second priest, in a voice similar to the first's. “Let us now await the words of Agomnan, that his will might be ascertained.” Suddenly, a vivid red glow began to emanate from the tree. Nothing like this had ever been seen by the villagers before. Agomnan merely spoke, without manifesting himself, when he ordered them to select two warriors to duel. They froze where they were standing and beheld the tree. “People of Ileway, in the town of Favauoc,” came a booming voice from the light. “Ye must needs know of a threat that, unless action swift is taken, spells the doom of ye and yours. The vile Atukam, in his connivery rampant, has a means implemented to render useless all Minaru. Were I to elaborate on this scheme, ye wouldst not comprehend. Ye have but a hope single: to from Atukam wrest the Tyrup, the only device by which the process reversed may be. There can be but one man, in all the world, who can this mighty deed accomplish; by combat shall he be chosen, and upon fate shall his quest depend. Ye may give him what help ye may, but know this: if the deed done is not before passed three Offerings have, no choice will I have but to my protection from Atukam remove. “But who among you is of such an imperative charge worthy and capable? There is but one means by which selected such a one may be. Namely, two great champions must in lethal combat engage. This, then, is why you were instructed as you were. Now let commence the battle!” The crowd gasped. No one had expected the duel to be to the death. Still, the townsfolk spread apart, forming a large circle encompassing Eberhard, Llwelyn, and the tree. Within the circle, Eberhard and Llwelyn stared at each other in shock. Neither one would ever dream of killing the other. After a long moment, Llwelyn spoke. "We must execute the will of Agomnan, Eberhard. However abominable it may seem." "I can say nothing against that." They began to slowly pace each other. After a electrifying moment, the tension that was building up in Eberhard reached a breaking point. He drew his sword and charged at Llwelyn. He wanted this fight to be over as quickly as possible. Even defeat would be better than uncertainty. Llwelyn held his ground and parried Eberhard’s blow with ease. He took no joy in fighting his friend, but he was determined to follow the will of Agomnan. He lunged at Eberhard, who parried and riposted. Not to be outdone, Llwelyn dodged the blow and struck Eberhard’s leg. Doing so heightened his sense of discomfort, but he was not going to hold himself back out of some misplaced sense of empathy. Eberhard lunged again. Llwelyn sidestepped, grabbed ahold of Eberhard’s arm and swatted his sword out of his grasp. He then landed a blow to Eberhard’s face, knocking him over. Lost in the heat of battle, Llwelyn raised his sword above his head, as if to strike a killing blow. Eberhard watched, stunned, as Llwelyn lifted his blade. There was little else he could do, for his sword was out of his reach. Surely his friend would not kill him? They had been the best of friends for so long. He knew Llwelyn. Or did he? Llwelyn stood for a moment with his sword suspended above him, then drew a sharp breath. What was he doing? He’d nearly allowed his violent instincts to control him. Disgusted, he cast his blade upon the ground, and knelt before the great tree. “O mighty Agomnan,” he said, “I have done as you have bid. I shall humbly serve you as your champion.” “Well you have fought, brave Llwelyn,” boomed Agomnan. “But mercy you have shown to your foe. Never shall any champion of mine such weakness display. True spirit Eberhard did display. Champion shall he be. You as his retainer shall languish. A lesson let this be, to clemency eschew.” With that, the red glow vanished from the tree. One could not say things returned to normal, however: in stunned silence, all of those gathered turned to look at Eberhard, and he, most stunned of all, looked back. Llwelyn stood slumped by the tree, stupefied. After a moment, the first priest spoke. “O Eberhard, thou hast heard thine commandment divine. Dost thou accept thine quest?” Eberhard’s breath froze, and his body stiffened. He was little more than an ordinary apprentice, he told himself. Llwelyn had trounced him. What special quality could he possess that would make the mighty Agomnan single him out? What power was it that would make him more important than all the villagers surrounding him, let alone Llwelyn? Still, the word of Agomnan was not to be taken lightly. Still shocked, Eberhard stammered out the words, “I accept.” “So be it. Are there any present who will consenteth to aid in this task most imperative?” “I will,” came a strong voice from near the back of the crowd. “He will need my guidance if he is to succeed,” said Tirem, Eberhard’s master. “Furthermore, if Llwelyn is to accompany him, I shall feel obliged to give what aid I can, for he is as a son to me.” “Thank you, Master,” stammered Llwelyn. “So be it. We shall, with Eberhard’s consent, depart on the morrow.” “Art thou not rather hasty, Master Tirem?” asked the second priest. “One does not simply walketh into Suratis. There are terrors of sundry kinds scattered for leagues around it, and within are such things as are nightmares made of.” “Indeed, much hardship awaits us. But what choice is there? A large band would surely be too easily noticed. We must proceed as I have said.” “So be it, Master Tirem,” said the first priest. “On the morrow, we shall mark your departure with much festivity. Until then, hwyl fawr.” With that, the assembly was over. Those present each went their separate ways, eventually becoming, to an observer, lost amongst the trees. Eberhard, who had remained silent for some time now, stayed behind, contemplating his fate. Did this mean he would, indeed, become a great warrior? Or was he merely a tool, a vessel through which Agomnan would act? Tirem remained behind also, seemingly lost in thought. Eberhard wondered if his master was about to speak to him. Sure enough, after a moment, Tirem approached him. “This has been a most unusual day,” began the master. “I imagine there is much that troubles you.” “As much as there are terrors in Suratis.” “Have you any in particular you wish to discuss?” “What will become of Llwelyn? He must be outraged that I would be named champion.” “Llwelyn will come to terms with Agomnan’s decree. Though it is a most puzzling one; ought not a true warrior show mercy to his foes?” “Perhaps such things are not for mortals to ponder. Who can fathom the will of Agomnan?” “Few indeed, if any. Still, I am left thoroughly perplexed.” The conversation continued well into the day, when Eberhard realized he needed to prepare for the journey. He thus returned to his abode, all the way taking note of the familiar sights he would not again behold for some time. Even the most pathetically withered trees and dry creekbeds seemed not so different from old acquaintances he must now part with. When he at last reached his home, he could not stop wondering how long it would be before he returned, if he ever did. ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************** After the duel, Llwelyn slunk into the forest. His world was shaken to the core, and he could not bring himself to face anyone until he had come to terms with what had happened. He bore no grudge against Eberhard; it was not his fault. Agomnan alone was responsible. How could the object of his worship betray him in so jaded a manner? Were not Agomnan’s commands the very foundation of life on Ileway? If Agomnan’s commands could not be trusted, who or what could? For the first time, he thought to question the word of Agomnan. It was still possible that Agomnan was in the right, but no longer would he accept that freely. Dazed, he meandered back home. ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************** That night, Eberhard packed some wild fruits, spare clothes, and an array of weapons into his satchel. As he drifted off to sleep, he could not stop thinking that his death, for all he knew, could come in a matter of days. The only thing that calmed him was the chance that he was not doomed to become merely another faceless warrior. Even if his life would soon be cut short, at least it would be for the most noble cause imaginable. He dreamt of fond memories, and of everything he would miss in the coming weeks. The next morning, Eberhard awoke early. Despite his worries, he felt strangely calm. His fate was sealed; what more could he do? He chose to spend his remaining time at home wandering in the forest, drinking in every sight and sound, from the shapes of withered, dry leaves, to the atonal songs of the local birds. After a time, Llwelyn appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. “The priests have summoned us for a farewell ceremony. I trust you’re prepared?” “As prepared as I can be. Though it is you who should be entrusted to retrieve the Tyrup, not I.” “Perhaps the task requires something more than the prowess of a warrior to complete.” “That’s not what Agomnan said.” “I know. But I can do nothing but hope it was what he meant.” Eberhard, in no mood to accuse Llwelyn of deluding himself, headed off for the village. When he got there, he found all the people arrayed in their best garb. The majority wore tunics made from the bark of the tyrgoryn trees, with leafy crowns on their heads; some of the more prosperous citizens also wore dark flowers, as there were no other plants that looked the least bit decorative. Various activities were under way, such as a game of yweov, a sport which involved jumping from tree to tree in order to place a rock into the opponent’s goal. All Eberhard noticed, however, was the priests and Tirem beckoning him toward the tree at the center of the village. “Silenceth,” said the first priest. “The time now hath come for us to recognize our prospective saviors. Let us hail to Eberhard, Llwelyn, and Master Tirem, for we shall not again behold their likenesses until their quest its course has run.” The crowd cheered for several minutes. Eventually, the three travelers said their farewells to the group, and, determination in their eyes, strode away from their home, past the two withered, dead trees that marked the boundary of Favauoc. Review Topic
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A Shadow is rising over the world and two boys will discover their destiny as Guardians of Mata-Nui. Once again the peaceful Matoran have found themselves under siege from the forces of the Makuta, or so they believe. The fate of Earth and Mata Nui is intertwined as Humans, Toa and even the Makuta must unite to uncover the greatest secret in existence, a secret that must never be known... all History is a lie. The Dark one is coming... What began as an idea seven years ago from my friend is finally becoming what I hope to be a fan fiction Epic. Over these years we have both built on his story of what it would be like to be torn from this world and thrown into the world of Mata Nui, and now the story is ready to be told. Both Legendary characters from the Toa to the Matoran and original characters feature in Bionicle - Legend of Earth. The story will take place across the island of Mata Nui, Earth and even places that are yet to be found. The Toa will fight the biggest battle they have ever faced compared to the original story, and possible even the world of fan fiction! A threat that dwarfs the Makuta is approaching, for Earth and Bara Magna it is do or die as two teenage boys join them to discover the forgotten history of both their world's, and the origin of the Great Beings... Bionicle - Legend of Earth will be split into four parts, all four should have around about twelve to fifteen chapters in each (It's a long tale!). Comments, constructive criticism and recommendations are always welcome! Please visit the Review topic for these: Legend of Earth Review Topic Thanks to Toa Tom for the great artwork, please visit his Deviant art page for more! Toa Tom Prologue Miles and miles of Hexagonal tunnels lay before the already daunted villager. It was both a privilege and a curse to be given the task at hand, for every year, month, day and minute of his people’s history surrounded him. A seemingly unending trove of books and data disks recorded every adventure of his Matoran brethren and their Toa guardians. Sorting all of these out was to be a nightmare, after various rampaging Rahi had left the archives data scattered through the winding tunnels. Many villagers throughout the Islands of Mata Nui and the newly re-populated Voya Nui volunteered to help reorganise the archive. Some came with excitement and some with ‘persuasion’. The job even required the help of some of the islands' many Toa, including a rather bored Nuparu. For what felt like hours the young Matoran villager searched for his missing companion. He was always running off, leaving his dearest friends scared half to death at his possible fate. He was to discover both his friend and something that would change the islands history, and indeed the history of untold billions. As he searched through the unending, repeating tunnels, something glowed brightly in the corner of his left eye. The light startled the poor Matoran leaving him jolting his body to meet the light in his gaze, and letting what can only be described as a rather ‘girly’ scream escape his mouth. The Matoran’s actions attracted the attention of Nuparu and another nearby Matoran. “Who in blazes let out that wimpy scream?” Nuparu was less than impressed at the Matoran’s sharp cry for help. “If you notice something scary, tell us instead of shattering our masks, okay?!” The Matoran looked slightly ashamed of himself. The Toa’s attention was quickly drawn towards the source of the mysterious light, which was now little more than a luminous-green glow. The source of light, to Nuparu’s shock, was a heavy-looking tome. Nuparu and Turaga Onewa once had uncompromising knowledge of the archive’s contents, spending hours memorising the strange items and creatures that lie within in order to prevent them from going missing (which was used to great effect when the archives collection of Rahi attempted to escape), but knowledge of any book like this escaped his mind. The tome appeared to be made to a high quality and carried not a speck of dust, as if it had only recently been placed there. “Who has had access to this area?” Nuparu asked the Matoran that accompanied him. “No one! Only us”. The Matoran looked startled. Finally Nuparu’s curiosity could be contained no longer and he proceeded to open the tome. To his horror, the first page was blank! As was the next, and the next. He started to question whether this was just a trick by one of the Matoran but this was swiftly removed from his mind when the tome once again glowed blindingly. Before they could think, the book returned to its dim state, and Nuparu turned to the first page without hesitation. This time, however, the page was not blank, but marked with a painting of exquisite detail. Dumfounded, Nuparu scanned this impossible art piece. Upon the page was depicted what appeared to be two Toa, one clad in gold and the other in silver, standing before the mouth of a demon that was part shadow. The painting began to freak him out, so Nuparu turned the page again, hoping for no more paintings of demons to alter his day. He was relieved to find no more, but what lay before him this time was a painting of three words carved in stone; Legend of Earth…
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Here's the Review topic for my Fan fiction epic Bionicle - Legend of Earth. Please feel free to add any comments, constructive criticism or ideas you have, and most importantly I hope you enjoy the story Here's the story itself: Bionicle - Legend of Earth Background info: A Shadow is rising over the world and two boys will discover their destiny as Guardians of Mata-Nui. Once again the peaceful Matoran have found themselves under siege from the forces of the Makuta, or so they believe. The fate of Earth and Mata Nui is intertwined as Humans, Toa and even the Makuta must unite to uncover the greatest secret in existence, a secret that must never be known... all History is a lie. The Dark one is coming...
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I feel very bad about not updating this. If I did more often, I'd probably have more people interested. Here's hoping that changes when I do actually post. People respond better when there are actual results to promises! I've reached what I consider to be roughly two-thirds of the way in the first epic of the Chrysalis Saga. I slowed down a lot in the past few months as I struggled to move past a transition point, which basically was like moving from the narrow end of a cone to the wide end. The world expanded (as planned, but it's a different thing to imagine it and write it), and I had to take time to consider what directions I wanted to go in. That's been figured out, and I'm writing quickly again. The scenes keep rolling out one or two every few days, so it's a great pace. Deadline? I have one. Even if I haven't quite finished by the end of the year (and I'd be surprised if that's the case), I'm going to start posting in December. My newest story is almost here and I'm thrilled to be this close to sharing it with you. In the coming weeks I think I'll start sharing tidbits here and there to give some colour to this Saga I keep on going about. I think it'll be a great ride. BTW - my signature mysteriously disappeared. I've been seeing people talk about forum glitches, so I assume this is what happened. Gotta get it back up!
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A Bionicle Epic chronicling the life journey of Icthilos,the "cold-hearted" Toa of Ice, who, after forsaking the Toa code and setting out on a vengeful quest agaisnt the Dark Hunters who wiped out the rest of his Toa team, struggles for survival on the newly reformed Spherus Magna. The review topic for this story can be found here: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/13921-review-topic-chronicles-of-the-cold-hearted/ Chronicles of the Cold Hearted Part 1 – New World “Well, we’re out. Now what?” Takadox asked mockingly, glaring across the boat at Icthilos, who was still trying to get water out of his ear. Above them, the mighty, several-million-foot tall form of the Mata Nui robot, now ruled by Makuta, rocketed into the sky. Debris still rained down into the oceans of Aqua Magna, sending up huge plumes of water than then cascaded back down, re-flooding the boat that the pair of them had only just managed to bail out. “I said…” Takadox began again, impatience twisting his features, his voice muffled slightly by the breathing apparatus covering his pincered mouth. “I heard you,” Icthilos replied distractedly, “I just don’t care about what you’re saying.” “For a Toa, you’re really quite rude, you know that? You have some serious attitude problems.” Takadox said conceitedly, folding his multi-joined arms and glaring at him with his bulbous red eyes. Icthilos didn’t meet his gaze. He’d seen the hypnosis ability that Takadox was capable of, when he’d ordered their Matoran guide to drown himself after it had become clear that there weren’t enough provisions left for all three of them, and he didn’t want to let Takadox try to do something similar to him. “You can talk about attitude,” Icthilos countered, “as I recall, you sold out your allies to the Makuta. You see where your efforts got everyone.” He pointed to the receding form of the robot. “You aren’t seriously blaming me for this?!” Takadox exploded angrily. “That’s low, even for you. And from what I’ve seen so far, you’re pretty low.” “I’m so low, in fact, that your insults really don’t effect me.” Icthilos scowled, “Or maybe I’m still ignoring you.” Before Takadox could come up with a comeback, a chunk of something indiscernible spiralled downwards and ploughed into the water nearby, generating a wave that buffeted the boat, threatening to capsize it. “Remind me why I agreed to this!” Takadox spat, unfolding his arms and grabbing onto the sides of the boat to avoid getting tipped out. “You were desperate.” Icthilos replied evenly, reflecting on the events that had led up to this. Chasing up some rumours he’d heard on Metru Nui about a tunnel network that had once led from the surface island of Mata Nui to the submerged interior of the robot, he’d tracked down a Po-Matoran who’d been willing to lead him through them in the hopes of escaping the “Makutaverse”. He’d discretely let rumours circulate about his plan, in the hopes that others may join him, but the only one who’d shown up was Takadox, fleeing from those who wanted him dead. Strangely enough, there were a lot of people who wanted Takadox dead. The journey had been a success, and they’d made it out through some orifice in the face of the robot – the nose maybe, or perhaps the mouth – but after falling all the way to the surface below, the boat had nearly been destroyed, and most of the food and provisions had been lost. It had only been thanks to the gallons of water raining down from the sky, and Icthilos’ own ice powers that they’d survived the fall at all. It had been then that Takadox had persuaded the terrified, desperate Matoran to commit suicide, and while he certainly hadn’t agreed with the idea, Icthilos had let it happen. He owed no loyalty to the Matoran anymore. He owed loyalty to no one. “So, you know my story…” Takadox tried to change the subject, “but I know nothing about you. You’re a rogue Toa of Ice, that much is obvious, but Toa don’t go rogue without reason. What’s yours? And, come to think of it, why are your Toa tools built into your armour?” “My team were wiped out by Dark Hunters and I couldn’t do anything to help them.” Icthilos sighed. It seemed he might be stuck with Takadox for a while, so there was no point in trying to keep secrets from him. “I lost my weapon; it was shattered in the battle, and couldn’t channel enough of my power without it to be of any use. I barely escaped with my life, and they all lost theirs. I found some friendly Nyrah Ghosts and had my sword and shield built into gauntlets that I could wear over my armour, so that I wouldn’t lose them again. One day, I intend to destroy the Dark Hunters, all of them, for what happened to my team.” “Wow, that’s deep.” Takadox said mockingly, peering about at the endless blue expanse lapping around them. “There’s no landmasses on this planet.” He said pointedly, ripping off his breathing mask. “I might go for a little swim.” He managed to wheeze, before diving over the side. Icthilos watched the creep from the deep swim away beneath the boat, and sighed to himself. A few centuries ago, he never would have dreamed that he would be consorting with the likes of him. But then again, he never would have dreamed that the entire universe was actually contained within a giant robot, or that Makuta would somehow take control of said robot. How time changed one’s perceptions of what was possible… * * * Hovering in the water deep below the boat, Takadox seethed with anger. He was used to being in control, manipulating every situation and individual to suit his purposes, yet here he was relying on some vengeful rogue Toa, stuck on a largely unfamiliar planet with little to know hope of escape. He was about as far as one could be from controlling the situation. He swum downwards, enjoying the freedom of being able to go where he wished, at least for now. Sooner or later, he would have to return to the boat and formulate a plan. The small amount of food they still had wouldn’t last forever, and he had no idea where to find more on this planet. They needed to make what little they had last for as long as possible. Maybe if Icthilos were to meet with some kind of unfortunate accident? But Takadox knew he would need some kind of weapon to stand even a slim chance of success, and right now, he had nothing. Something glittered in the silt and mud below him, and kicked down to get a better look. It was their dead Matoran guide, who’d sunk like the stone whose element he represented. But what was that in his pack? Takadox dug through it and found a long jagged knife. Perfect. Tucking it into the back of his armour, where it hopefully wouldn’t be noticed, Takadox began the journey back up towards the surface. Now he just needed to wait until the right moment. * * * Time passed, and it was Takadox, more attuned to the tides and currents of the water, who was the first to realise that something was happening. The giant planet in the distance was moving towards them. “No.” Icthilos leant forwards where he sat, frowning at the encroaching celestial mass. “We’re getting closer to it.” Sure enough, Aqua Magna was moving inexorably closer to Bara Magna. And Bota Magna, hovering in the distant beyond Bara Magna, silhouetted by glowing stars, was moving too, it seemed. But how? Why? Almost as soon as it began, the movement slowed, and stopped, and the planets began to drift once more. “Well…” Takadox said hesitantly after a moment, “that was…” A shuddering shockwave rocked the planet, and it began to move once more, much faster, plummeting from the sky towards where, they now saw, the Makuta robot was facing off against another, slightly smaller machine. “What’s going on?!” Takadox shrieked, completely losing it. This situation was so far beyond his control it defied belief. One giant robot had been a chilling revelation, but now there were two of them? And they were fighting? The smaller robot was clearly losing, and now stood, head down and shoulders hunched, smoke pouring from ragged tears in its battered, dusty armour. Then, abruptly, it lurched forward, shoving Makuta backwards, right into the path of a planetary fragment that must have broken off one of the falling celestial bodies. The impact rocked Makuta’s stolen body, and his head crumpled in an explosion of divine white light. It fell, and the planet below was rocked by the impact. And then the two planets slammed into Bara Magna, and the world rocked once more. Icthilos threw his head down as the ocean churned beneath them, and bit back a curse as Takadox went flying, soaring past his head. When the waters settled and Icthilos brought himself to open his eyes, he was confronted by the sight of a wave of golden energy that washed over the newly reformed planet, healing it. Takadox, bobbing in the water nearby, tore off his breath mask as his body began to change, healing the mutations that the pit had cursed him with. Icthilos helped him back on board, and the pair of them stared out across the ocean to see, surprisingly, a shoreline now in sight. “What just happened?” Takadox croaked, examining his new/old body. “I have no idea, but I think it’s time we found out.” Icthilos declared, digging one of the oars out from under the seat and tossing it to Takadox. He took the other for himself, and together, the two outcasts set off towards the shore of the new world. To be continued…
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http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/13919-chronicles-of-the-cold-hearted/ The review topic for my Bionicle Epic "Chronicles of the Cold Hearted". Feedback/criticism/suggestions/ideas are all welcome.
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~BIONICLE~ The Legend Continues ... Hello people! Here's a topic where I will continue the Bionicle Story. I will write, but I would love to see people contribute anyhow, with MOCs, shorts, character descriptions, concept art, and anything you could think of! I'll do my best to discuss and integrate anything you guys post! Please note that this should be posted on this Epic's Review Topic, not here! Anyway, this is the first part. There's more description of what's happened until now than anything else, but trust me, it will NOT stay that way. I have quite an interesting idea for the murderer (that is Velika as you all know*, but that's not the idea). *Some of the story may refer to things Greg Farshtey has posted on these forums through Erebus. You can check out some of the Q and A's he's done. Freefall (forget the rubbish name I'm thinking of something ...) Brutaka stared out a window of the strange of the Great Being's Temple at the vast expanse of Spherus Magna. It wasn't a real window. From what he saw when he'd ventured out, there were no windows. What he was seeing was a screen showing what some camera on the exterior was. Him, Axonn, Helryx, Tuyet, Miserix, Artakha, Vezon, and Great Being himself had watched the whole spectacle of Mata Nui confronting Makuta, both in the forms of robots, one of which contained the universe that he and the others had known. The next thing they knew, they were on a fully reformed Spherus Magna. Then for some reason the Great Being had decided to lock down the entire building, leaving them trapped. Another thing that had changed was that Brutaka had regained his usual form, losing his mutation from the Pit, and that from the Pool of Makuta, including the conscience that had possessed him. Another issue was that neither Artakha nor Miserix could teleport them all away, due to some kind of block. The Great Being himself hadn't been seen whatsoever hiding in the darkness of his chamber, that was naturally protected by some force field, and judging from the gibberish he spoke, and how he spoke it, he was more insane than Vezon himself, who was sulking in some corner for being locked out of the Great Beings chamber and locked in the Temple itself. Vezon's Olmak that had fused itself to the back of his head like the Ignika, wasn't working either. They were all well and truly trapped. None of the people trapped seemed happy about the high tech luxury of their prison, most of them disliked each other. Brutaka was nearly convinced they could use Lewa who'd disappeared out of the temple to look around before the lockdown. He might have been able to break the tension. Suddenly Axonn got up and picked up his axe. He wasn't happy. “I've had enough of this! Waiting, staring out of the fake window! We have to do something!” “We were … And we'd tried virtually everything before realizing that this place is invincible! It's hopeless!” Snapped Tuyet, getting up angrily. “Nobody asked you your opinion traitor.” Said Helryx trying to contain her obvious craving to crush the rogue Toa. “Oh come on! Are you seriously still steaming mad about that incident thousands of years ago? Seeing some of the things you've done-” Tuyet was cut short as Helryx pinned her to the wall with her shield. “I'd suggest you shut your mouth Tuyet, unless you want me to do it for you!” Tuyet was about to strike back, only to be stopped by the mighty Makuta Miserix, violently pushing the two Toa apart. “Enough! It's bad enough without the two of you killing each other!” “We have no space for traitors! When we get out of here we'll be walking into a new world!” Yelled Toa Helryx. Artakha himself stood and telekenically pushed all three apart. “Exactly! So all of you sit down and stop fighting! Start clean. Now I suggest that either we continue to sit in this unbearable silence, a building storm in between Helryx and Tuyet, and probably soon all of us, or we actually try and find a way out of here using our heads, not our weapons!” Nobody spoke. Then the ground started shaking. Chiara and Zaria crouched behind a thick bush. They were being hunted by apparent Bota Magna Vorox. Some kind of revenge for the Glatorians hunting Bara Magna Vorox. The only difference between the two was that these had advanced technology and could speak, and their leader had cancelled out the Toas' elemental powers. As a result, Chiara Toa of Lighning, and Zaria Toa of Iron, were weaponless and powerless. A Vorox scrambled up a tree and looked around. They clearly knew that they were close, but hadn't found them yet. That's why Zaria was quietly leading Chiara through the bushes, back the way they'd came, trying to confuse the Vorox farther more. “This had better work … Our lives kind of depend on it.” Whispered Chiara angrily. “Unless you had a better idea, then I'd shut your mouth! The Vorox have acute hearing and I don't feel like dying because of you cinically biccering!” Whispered Zaria. Chiara shot a small bolt of lightning that struck Zaria and made him jolt. He was about to get back at her when he realized something. “Chiara did you see that?” “What I zapped you, and you actually seem happy about it. Want me to do it again?” “No! Our elemental powers work! Kabrua's staff only works at close proximity. How far have we gone from the Vorox?” “I don't know … Twenty mio away?” “That's not even that far. If we can get in the closest distance possible for our elemental powers to work, then we can blast him!” “Ha. You nearly make it sound easy.” Orde struck the intruder with a mental blast. The creature in front seemed to take minimal damage and threw a sword at the Toa. Orde dodged just in time as the blade went soaring past his head and impaled itself in the tree behind him. Then Gelu leaped at it from behind. It spread it's wings in a struggled to get him off as Orde ran at him face on and kicked him down. The thing simply rolled backwards and kicked both of them off, flying up into a tree and creating a force field around itself as Orde And Gelu got up, dazed. The creature didn't move, and stayed up in the trees, not showing any signs of attacking or dissipating it's force field. “That's a Kanohi Hau … Mask Of Shielding.” Pointed out Orde. “What the heck is it?” Asked Gelu stepping back and looking around for a potential weapon in case. “I am Gaardus. Not an it,” The creature replied. “Why did you attack?” “We didn't attack, you did. You appeared right in front of us.” “I didn't attack. I just appeared.” “No … I suppose you didn't. Still isn't that kind of menacing when a ten foot creature appears in front of her.” Gaardus was silent, and didn't move. Nor did a confused Gelu and Orde. The creature had simply appeared in front of them, coming out of nowhere. After a long while it talked again. “I had come to hunt. Do you want to help?” Two Toa teams walked slowly away from what used to be a huge fortress. Jaller stumbled along confused, helped along by Pouks. His mind was in shambles after being somehow psychologically manipulated into following the Golden Being. The Toa Hagah had succeded in saving him, and the rest of the Toa Mahri. That was the first shock. The second was caused by the fact they were on some Spherus Magna and the whole of the universe they knew was in ruin in some giant robot. It was hard to take in. Suddenly Jaller tripped and fell to his knees. “Sorry …” Said Pouks helping him to his feet again. “I'm alright … thanks …” He replied. He looked back at the ruin of the Golden Being's Fortress. Some parts were simply faded, or so undense that they'd shattered, others had been cleanly cut by some sort of dematerialisation field. Anyway, the damage had been done, and Anonna, the very creature that had inflicted it, had been sent to another world. Yet the Golden Being still stood fixing areas of the fortress with his mind, using the dreams of the Skakdi themselves, who some of were running around looking panicked more than anything else. “Hard to take in isn't it?” Said Hahli next to him. “Yeah … I wonder what the Golden Skinned Being will actually do after he rebuilds his fortress. I mean, what is his purpose? If he was created by Teridax, then for what? Enslaving all the Toa?” “Well he's not doing that anymore. I guess we'll have to wait and see …” The two toa stopped with the rest to see the temporel settlement for the toa and the Agori. The Mata Nui Robot lay quite far away, some of it in an ocean. It was so immensely big that the Toa couldn't see the head, or the feet. “Wow. That is big …” Commented Kongu. “The settlement looks rather … basic. And … well not very advanced.” Said Hahli. “You haven't been gone for centuries, you know? This is where most of the Matoran and the Agori live in … well lets say they don't always get on so well. For the moment at least …” Explained Iruini. “There are some small villages that are being built, and we are searching for a good location for a city, but nothing is fixed right now. Nearly half the Agori and Matoran live in camps!” Said Gaaki. “It's not as bad as that. It will get better in the future. I mean, we weren't expecting it to be a utopia the moment we settled …” Commented Norik. Suddenly, something landed heavily behind them, sending out a small shockwave. The twelve Toa swirved round, drawing their weapons, shields, spears and Cordak Blasters. “Whoa! Hold your Ussals, Toa …” The figure who stood in front of them raised his hands. He was tall and wore armour of dark purple and jet black. He wore a mask that none of them had seen, and although he was nearly definitely a Toa, he wasn't like one that any of the ones who stood in front of him had seen before. “It's alright! I'm a Toa aswell. There nothing to worry about.” The Toa lowered their weapons. “Just because you're a Toa, doesn't mean you're a good guy …” Said Kongu. “I guess not. However, I can assure you, you can trust me …” “How about you start with who you are …” Asked Bomonga skeptically. “I'm Iragan, the last Toa of Gravity …” Zaria and Chiara clutched their newly gained high tech weapons. Their plan had worked, succesfully luring two Vorox to where they could take them down. “The plan is simple. Chiara, you go and cause a distraction. Lightning and whatever you want. Don't make it too obvious that it's a distraction. Make it look accidental. An accidental backfire of your power or missuse of the weapon. I'll go round from behind, take down Kabrua, and destroy his staff.” “Sounds simple the way you put it, brother. I'll deal with the distraction. This better work.” “We haven't got a choice, sister.” Chiara snuck off under cover of the bushes. Zaria couldn't fail, or both of them would likely die. But then again, both of them had faced worse. Zaria made his way round in the opposite direction, keeping enough distance in between him and Kabrua, but enough to catch him. Once the staff was his, the Vorox were going to be easily delt with. Even without elemental powers or weapons, he was capable of taking down most of the Vorox in hand to hand combat. The only problem was the weaponry they possesed. They were not a problem with the control over metal though. Zaria got into position. He could see Chiara getting into place aswell as he awaited the signal. It came to him that all their mask powers had been blocked aswell. With his own Xhorath, Mask of Biomechanics, and Chiara's Perimi Mask of Inertion, they would with no doubt win the battle. Zaria looked ahead to see Chiara wave. He had to await the right moment. Chiara was in place. All she needed to do now was create a distraction that seemed like an accident. But as Chiara prepared to cause her distraction, something happened. There were a few thuds as arrows hit at least four Vorox in the chest, then something big crashed through the foliage above and landed on Kabrua, stabbing a sword through him. The being cut through most of the other Vorox before they could react, and drew out his bow to finish off the last ones. Chiara stayed hidden. She didn't know what to do. The creature was a huge winged being, wearing a Kanohi Hau with four legs and at least four arms, carrying a sword each. The thing slung his bow over it's body and walked over to the dying body of Kabrua. Zaria looked over at her from his hiding place, confused. What had just happened? Suddenly, two figures jumped down from the trees next to the beast, and talked to it. Only then did Chiara realize that the figures were in fact Orde and Gelu, their guide. What was there to do? The creature stopped talking to them and started picked up Kabrua staff, studying it, and storing it in a sachel. It picked up and stored a blaster that the Vorox carried, and then went on to start finishing off and gathering the bodies. Orde didn't look to happy, but they seemed to be allied with the thing. Then the beast turned towards Zaria. It had heard something. It drew out his bow as it walked towards him. What happened next didn't come as a surprise. Zaria reacted swiftly, using his Mask of Biomechanics to slow down the creature just enough to use his powers over metal to mostly disarm the beast. It managed to hold onto a sword and it's bow, and attempted to strike the Toa. Zaria dodged and fired his weapon. It caught the beast on the shoulder but the creature reacted fast, throwing it's bow over his head, pulling it and letting it ping back in his face. Taking advantage of the disorientation, it swung it's sword at knee level but Zaria just managed to dodge and roll backwards, firing his weapon again. Chiara crashed out of her hiding place and ran towards the fight like Gelu and Orde who were trying to get the beast to stop. This time Zaria took the upper hand, using his power over metal to damage the creature's armour, but it responded in shooting an arrow at it's foe. It caught the Toa of Iron in the arm and leaped at him, sending him sprawling, only to recover and painfully rip out the arrow and aim his weapon again. “Stop! Gaardus, Zaria please! Both of you, we're on the same side!” Said Gelu running over. “He smells like Vorox and carries one of their weapons …” “Well so do you, and I didn't attack did I?” Snapped Zaria angrily. “It's not particularly obvious what's happening, to be honest …” Added Chiara. Orde mentally informed them of what had happened to them. “He just slaughtered at least thrity Vorox! I don't see how you could let him to that. It's not part of the Toa Code …” Grumbled Zaria. “I'm not a Toa.” Pointed out Gaardus. “But Orde is …” “He simply left and attacked the Vorox. We followed him in the treetops but there wasn't much I could do. We were in range of Kabrua's staff …” Retorted Orde. Zaria made a slightly skeptical face and looked at Gaardus. “So what are you doing slaughtering Vorox, big guy?” “I was hunting.” “Why? What had they done to you?” “Nothing. They were already dead, and I may have use of their parts, weapons, or technology.” “They were already dead? What do you mean?” Asked Gelu curiously. “They were killed, and somebody used their empty shells. I couldn't feel a consciousness in any of them. Somebody was controlling them …” Orde looked stunned. “But I could read Kabrua's mind! He definitely had one …” “Yes. He seemed more alive. There was still his last moments of consciousness in him. But he was still being controlled.” “But by who?” Asked Chiara. “I read Kabrua's mind, or what was apparently left of it. This is going to sound strange, but I think these Vorox were being controlled by a Great Being himself, and whoever this being is, he has been hiding in disguise, in the Matoran Universe itself …” Sahmad ran across the shallow river, the pursuer close behind. The Agori of iron was out of breath, clutching a feeble dagger. The thing running behind him was a huge, nearly Skopio sized wolf like creature. Sahmad crashed through the undergrowth of a small forest and out into a more deserty area where grass was only just starting to grow. The monster behind him bought down a few trees as it followed him. Whatever I was, was catching up fast. He wouldn't escape, not on open ground anyway. Then Sahmad realized that he wouldn't even be able to try. He stopped short of a cliff as the silver beast finally closed in, roaring a roar that must've been heard a few mio away. The Agori turned round to face the Iron Wolf that slowly took a few steps towards him. He was as good as dead. Suddenly, a sound wave powerful enough to knock him off his feet struck, and there was a blinding light. Then it all went black.
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So, here's a fanfic about what happened after the battle of bara magna. I was NOT impressed in the way that BIONICLE ended, so I decided to make it stretch a bit so there could be an ending which promises there will always be more. I have always liked the 'I won't tell more, but the story goes on' type of endings, so this aims to do exactly that with BIONICLE. So, let us start. After the battle of Bara Magna, the great spirit robot is destroyed, so it falls on the new planet. In it's fall, the head ends up surrounded by the newly-made seas coming from the aqua magna fragment. Now, the great spirit robot actually had lots of energy inside it when it exploded, Teridax was killed before he could use up all of the energy. So what happened with the head fragment of the robot? It's systems activated al at once due to the surplus of energy. And, of course, the camouflage system did also (see where i'm going?). With the camouflage systems active, the fragment used up all it's energy and lay still on the sea of spherus magna. The camouflage system, of course, had created an island which we all know well, surrounded by the same waters, but without any inhabitants. Now, the matoran from the matoran universe were having problems with the local population. They did not understand their ways, least of all their scavenging for materials, while it was in the matoran's nature to build. The agori started to skavenge from the Matoran, and the matoran could not understand why the others did not create things. And last of all, the agori did not understand the principles of unity, duty and destiny, because they were never planned as artificial workers inside a robot. Thus, the two races became separated, so the turaga had a meeting in which they decided that the best way to live along with the locals was living in places apart from the agori villages, but mantaining contact with them. So they sent toa to look for areas which would suit the matoran. Eventually, Takanuva came to the new island on the head of the great spirit robot, and recognised there his old home, in which he explored, fought and (sometimes) worked. So he went to the turaga and spoke to them about their old island, which was close to the coasts, but somewhat isolated. If they settled there, they could be in contact with the Agori, but still live like thay always had, with their koros and all. But there is a problem: the new planet is huge. There are not enough toa to defend everything from vorox, bone hunters and others. So a new generation of Toa is required. One which can defend the matoran on the new Mata Nui, but not leave the rest of the matoran undefended. So lesovikk steps in. He wants to clear his name for the murder of karzahni. As he cannot prove his innocence, he would rather be a turaga than a toa which no one trusts. So lesovikk transfers his toa powers to toa stones, and gives them to the Toa Nuva, so they can decide who gets the stones from the matoran of Mata Nui. The toa Nuva, of course choose the chronicler's company, because they had already proved their worth in the great war. The new toa team, the toa magna, travel with the rest of the mata nui matoran to the new island to start again with the building, as they did a millenia ago. So, what do you think? I have thought of more, of course. Should I continue writing? Is it too unlikely? Would any of you be interested in such a story? Do you like the idea of bringing back the island which we loved when we werekids trying to figure out how to play MNOG?
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So, I'm starting this topic to see if anyone here is interested in this old board game released by Hasbro back 2002. Basically, it was a combination card game and miniature game set in the the Star Wars universe; the object was to defeat all of your opponent's "Main Characters" by using cards that had special powers. Each character had his own "deck" with 31 cards. The game has become something of a cult classic in the gaming community, at least for those who remember when it first come out. There is (or was) a rather impressive online community devoted to the game, having created hundreds of decks and expansions with settings including: The Lord of the Rings, Marvel, DC, Heroes, Firefly, and even the Bible to name a few. These days, if you want to play duels, and aren't lucky enough to still have your old beaten up copy, you can play online using the Vassel Engine. The rule book can be found on Wikipedia for those looking for it. So anyone, here heard of this gem of a game?
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One The Matoran was Red from mask to toe, and made no sound as he moved slowly through the charred. Somehow, despite his sluggishness, he was undetected by any creature, whether it be Rahi or dark spirit. Accomplishing that in the never-ending glow of Ta Wahi was no easy feat. He was a messenger, and today his job was to find one to bring to Turaga Vakama. The guard's best scout was out with a missing leg, and Kapura foresaw that he would not be returning to full health any time soon. Some would say Kapura had a lack of empathy, but in truth he simply was of the conviction that a job like this was much better suited for someone of his... ability. The task at hand was deceptively simple. There was a noise, and he was tracking it. The noise had startled Kapura while he had been practicing, and as per his duty he would follow it until he knew just what was likely to assail Ta-Koro in the future? Was it Inferivaka? Hikaki? No, judging by the roar, it was something that generally didn't bother itself with Matoran culture. Not everything dangerous was a predator, but these days every predator was increasingly dangerous. And the village needed to know before hand if they had a chance of survival. He crouched behind a tree. The sound had last been heard by the lava river a few bios away. He surveyed the perimeter, making sure nothing else was hiding behind any trees or boulders, and then quickly found himself by the river. Scratch marks. Burnt wood. Ash of a different color than normal for the forest, most likely because it had been formed in an instant rather than via a slow burning fire. These were signs of a struggle, but pitting what against what? By the time he had finished his mission and was rushing back to Ta-Koro, he still did not know the assailant. It was ultimately Makuta, of course, but he did not personally come out in the bright of day. However, the Dark Spirit's prey this time was certain, and though Kapura was faster than any other Matoran on the island, he had a feeling that Vakama would not be the first Ta-Korian to receive news. But if nothing else, at least it was good practice. * * * “No, that won’t do, we need to widen the eastern flow,” said Aodhan, his yellow-orange Kanohi frowning with frustration. The Matoran to his left shook his head. “We only just harvested tri-divides one and three two days ago, and they’re already filling up again. We don’t want to risk an overflow like last time.” “I’ve already been through this, Agni… that was most likely a freak accident. Jaller was certain those boulders hadn’t been there before, and now that they’re cleared, the core flow is even again.” “Freak accident? Or Makuta?” Agni replied sternly. “I may be thrice voted “most likely to die wrestling a possessed Rahi into the river,” but even I’m not going to assume the Spirit of Darkness isn’t just going to pull the same stunt again.” “I still don’t buy that it was Makuta,” sighed Aodhan, “but since we’re on the subject, do you have any better ideas?” The Matoran to Aodhan's left raised her hand. “Um, I do,” she said, in a squeaky but intelligent voice. “I’ve been surveying the northern flow, and I think we may be able to divert some more to the eastern tri-divides if we dig a trench in the path I’ve marked.” She handed the tablet in her hands to Aodhan, who looked it over with increasing confusion? “You do realize we will need at least two extra pairs of Fire Mahi and three farmers out of the infirmary if we even want to accomplish this?” Aodhan said sternly. “What is the big idea you have this time.” She grinned. “Just an observation that we might be able to save a lot of time and work if we let the lava do most of the pathmaking for us. All we need is to plow a little indent from east to north, and…” Agni’s eyes widened. “Yes, of course, brilliant idea as usual, Tiribomba!” “It’s worth a shot, I suppose,” Aodhan replied. “Get the workers on it immediately.” As the lava farmers assembled and began to toy with nature once more, they were watched without ceasing by the captain of the guard and his militia, all of which were bored out of their minds and yet also rather on edge. “Makuta always attacks when you most expect him but when you least can afford him to,” Turaga Vakama had once said, and Jaller had had plenty of time and experience to drive that into her memory box. Most of her guards were slightly less quick on the uptake, but even they understood that when Jaller told them to keep their eyeslits firmly planted on the Lava farmers at all times, they better not be caught reading the latest Kohlii journal or filing their armor. Of course, there was more to being a guard than simply spotting danger. You had to nip it in the backplate. And that was becoming an increasingly impossible task. “So, what if it’s another swam of Hikaki?” said Agni, who had never been very adept at strategy. “It won’t be. Most of them had their infected Kanohi burnt off, and its going to take time for Makuta to replenish them.” “But what if we’re wrong? What if they come back in full force and we have to use the last freeze disk? Then we’ll have nothing left but our guard staves and bare hands. I could handle about twenty, buy you a diversion of course, but then I’d be lizard food and you’d have to do recruiting again.” “Are you implying I couldn’t also wrestle Hikaki until my gears corroded?” Maglya interjected, feisty as ever and still treating everything like a sporting event. “Trust me, when you’ve done a 720 spilt over the lava falls, you’re not going to be a pushover against some overgrown scale piles.” ”Sister, trust me, he doesn’t mean any more harm than he ever does.” Keahi conforted. She herself was familiar with sports, but there was something about Kohlii that didn’t have such a detrimental effect on a Matoran’s nerves like lava surfing did. Maybe once you had spent enough time inches away from falling to your doom, you didn’t have nerves left to tense up. “Yes, I was only saying that I don’t want anyone to have to take my place like you had to take poor Lhii’s,” sputtered Agni. “Rather roundabout way to say that,” Maglya replied sourly. “Not as roundabout as your races,” Keahi interjected. The conversation then drifted into a long discussion of the 950’th annual lavathon, and if Jaller hadn’t been such an observant captain, she probably would have assumed that they were goofing off. In reality, this was just their way of coping with the grim circumstances the whole village… no, the whole island, faced. In the end, when a Rahi attacked or the volcano erupted, they would all serve valiantly in their own special way, and though she would have to work mighty hard they didn’t step on each other’s toes, she wouldn’t dream of giving up any of them to Makuta. If only she had been firmer in that conviction back when Lhii had still been third in command…. “Um sir,” the voice of Kalama, his second in command, rang out from the watchtower. “Does lava usually curve like that?” Jaller squinted her eyes and looked in the direction of Kalama’s pointing finger. It only took a moment to make a decision. A few blows of the seashell later, the lava farmers were scrambling away from the eastern flow, just before a large blob of lava burst out of the river and shook fiery liquid everywhere. By the time Jaller and the other guards has assembled down below, the blob had revealed itself to be something much more dangerous. “Ranama, wonderful,” Jaller said, her mask firmly plastered in her hand. “What do we do? They’ve never been infected before! How are we supposed to get near…” “Enough!” Jaller exclaimed, as quietly as possible. “We don’t know that its infected. It might have just wandered too far from its nest….” Her words were interrupted by a loud clang and a gloopy roar. Maglya had just thrown her guard staff at what appeared to be a kanohi-shaped indentation on the Ranama’s back. The staff stuck to the surface for a second, and then melted into slag, which merged with the Rahi’s lava coating. The creature turned around, its reptilian eyes laced not with anger, but with the suicidal determination of a creature whose mind was no longer its own. This is going to be one of those days. Jaller thought. Review Topic
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Review Topic for this. Constructive criticism: encouraged.
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So I'm going to be writing this. And it's probably going to get pretty dark and stuff by the time it's done. But I think it'll be fun. Review Topic Prologue I am Toa. My name? I just gave it to you: Toa. That is all I am called here, for truly, that’s all I am. They have never given us names. That would be silly, like trying to name every grain of sand on the beaches of Ga-Wahi. Utterly ridiculous. Ever since the dawn of time, when the Great Spirit Mata Nui graced us with our lives, there has been one in control. We never knew who or what he was, and we weren’t allowed to ask. He demanded us to call him Speaker. And he deemed it well that Toa existed, and he wished for there to be more. It was discovered by him that a Toa could create Toa Stones, which would enable six Matoran to become Toa. It was never told to us what became of the “donor” Toa, but we didn’t care. We had six new Toa, and we were happy with that. Not two days ago, I was a Po-Matoran. Now I am a Toa. I stood next to my worktable, carving an eye for a Toa statue that was to go up in Kini-Koro, one of the thousands there, dotted across the landscape. Some had been turned into protodermis fountains, some had been set up as memorials. But all were there to remind us of the high priority, creating as many Toa as possible. I opened a drawer on my workstation and pulled out a chisel, preparing for the detail work, when I was approached by a brown Toa. I recognized him as an old once-matoran friend of mine, Teharen. I looked up at him, slightly hesitantly. Even though I knew him before, his being a Toa, it still unnerved me. “Hello, Retras,” he said to me. I nodded. “Hello, Teharen.” “It’s time for you to become a Toa,” he said abruptly. I looked up in shock. Sure, his appearance here was unprecedented, but I had decided that he had come to catch up, or something. But becoming a Toa. He had always dreamed of being one, and the statistics, well, the fact was that eventually, every Matoran would become a Toa at one point or another in their lives. But to actually become one was…unthinkable. But what an honor. “Thank you,” I stuttered, feeling that I should kneel, or…something. I started to bend my knee after setting down my tools, but he lifted me up by my shoulder. “Come with me,” he said. “Your time to become a Toa is now, and we must be swift. Speaker doesn’t like to wait.”
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Mata Nui, once a prosperous world of his own, was now reduced to nothing more than an empty shell sprawled out on a dry, barren landscape. The eyes that used to shine green have long ago been burrowed out, leaving his empty sockets staring off into the horizon. The very foundation that held his body together for so many decades was now rusting and withering away. Relics of a lost civilization littered the corpse, and the smell of death lingered in every corner of the once-Great Spirit. Smoke still billowed from the large cavity in his chest ripped open by an apocalyptic disaster. The sole survivor, a Turaga, pushed aside burning rubble to see what he has done to his own world, before collapsing to the ground as his heartstone faded to black. Chapter 1 “Warning. Meltdown in Reactor Core #12 on level six. Evacuate to the Onu-Metru Archives immediately,” the old speakers shouted in the cold, narrow hallways of the Metru Nui Power Plant. Rusting pipes slowly hissed at the hordes of passing Nu-Matoran, Matoran of Radiation. Red lights pulsed and sirens echoed through the maze of underground tunnels. Even though everyone’s life was at stake, no one panicked. Almost every Matoran in the Plant had gone through this before, and for some, this had become routine. Ralis swiped his ID card as he clicked on his respirator. Two large, heavy doors slid open, and Ralis felt a large wave of radiation hit him like a warm gust of wind. As he walked in, he saw other Meltdown Managers, or the MM’s, run to and from Core #12 like a swarm of angry Nui-Rama, struggling to get it stable. It was hard to hear anything over the loud hissing of steam, melting metal, and the shouts of Nu-Matoran ordering one another around in the large cave. Ralis immediately went to work with several other Matoran attempting to remove the radioactive protodermis isotope powering the Core. Radioactive protodermis was unlike any other form of protodermis. Instead of being silver and smooth, Pr-135 was sluggish, green, and very corrosive. One drop of it could easily burn through most armor. Pour. Cap. Move. Pour. Cap. Move. Ralis repeated these steps with perfect precision. If he made one little mistake, and even a drop of Pr-135 got out, it would burn through the floor as if it were butter, and might even strike another Matoran. Although it had happened in the past, Ralis didn’t let a single drop get out of line, until the pipe began to overheat. Ralis watched as the pipe he had been using began to warp, and glow a dull red. After warning the people below him, he left his station behind and rushed to get a bucket of water. Once he got back, he noticed that the Pr-135 had already melted through the pipe and burnt a small hole in the thin, metal floor. Ralis slowly doused the pipe in water, being careful not to use too much water at once. If he had drenched the pipe in all the water in the bucket at once, the pipe would have become extremely brittle, and might have broken off. Emptying the last of his water on the burning pipe, he tried filling another barrel. Ralis quickly retracted his hand in pain as he touched the still burning hot handle. He had once been given gloves, but they had been rendered useless long ago. Determined to do his job, he took out a pair of pliers strapped to his waist and locked it around the handle. Pulling on the pliers, he opened the pipe and got back into his routine. The only Turaga of Radiation still alive held up his hands in the Core’s direction, doing his best to keep the radiation to a minimum. All the other MM’s were busy fitting the entire Core into a thick, protosteel shell, and filling it up with water. Metal screeched and water boiled as the cool water touched the searing hot Core. Ralis wiped the steam out of his eyes as he capped the last barrel of Pr-135, and the Core went inactive. The Core had been unstable for too long, and was deemed too radioactive to reuse. Large tracks and pulley systems slowly moved the massive core from its usual place over to “the chasm”. The chasm was a large, seemingly bottomless pit into which all radioactive waste was disposed, very close to the core reactors. Many Matoran watched as the large, heavy ball of metal was dropped into the darkness of the abyss, never hearing it strike the bottom. No one had ever been to the bottom of the chasm, but everyone agreed that it would be the worst place to be in Metru Nui. Nu-Matoran had been disposing toxic materials into the chasm for thousands of years, with no sign of stopping. Stories told of large, mutated Rahi waiting to feast on any “careless” Nu-Matoran who wander too far down. Ralis and his team pushed carts of barrels over to the chasm and poured out the radioactive sludge, finishing the clean-up job. The MM’s dispersed as the usual workers flooded back into their living quarters. The halls were once again filled with the black and yellow armor of Nu-Matoran. Many of the workers grumbled to themselves, since the Onu-Matoran they had met outside ridiculed them for “being lazy” and not going back into the Plant. Anytime a Nu-Matoran found himself in the Archives, he was sure to be mocked at by a passing Archivist for doing such filthy and demeaning labor. For this, Ralis was grateful he never had to leave the plant during emergencies. Ralis clicked off his respirator as he went back to his living quarters, eager to go back to the dream which Core #12 had interrupted. He dreamt of what it would be like if he was an outsider. Review Topic
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Review topic Here. PROLOUGE Given the unusual circumstances in which this story takes place, I will have to remind you that this is all completely true. The names have been changed, for reasons that will become obvious soon enough. Now that that is over, let us begin. In the years since the Matoran had populated the enormous landmass south of Mata-Nui, they had encountered new rahi. They settled the large, expansive landscape, and these settlements, in due time, would become large cities and slightly less large towns. That time had not come yet, when these events took place. In the plains, feral rahi prowled, usually during the night. In the forests, other, more varied monsters dwelled at the fringes of perception. In the deserts, you were more likely to die from thirst or exhaustion than at the claws or fangs of the hardiest creatures in the continent. In the tundra, extreme temperatures and well-camouflaged beasts make living there difficult. Other than that. the Southern Continent was completely safe. This dangerous world is where our story takes place. To be more specific, a nameless village in the rolling hills near the center of the landmass. An non-walled, lightly guarded settlement just outside the forests I mentioned earlier. It is here, where our story begins.
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Title explains it all. Discuss my new epic Peter: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=10742
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MAJOR JAMES KRANZ knew his wife well enough to be suspicious when out of the blue she told him that she was going on an extended trip to Japan. Perhaps it was the way she touched his hand when she told him. Perhaps it was because she had been born in Japan and he knew that this trip must have some special meaning she was withholding from him. Yet, what bothered him most of all was that she must have been thinking of this for a while, and yet had never told him about it. She traveled the world, but had always told him far in advance and come to him for second opinions. They talked through everything together. So something didn't seem right about this trip. Of course, he had no idea what it was, but he knew something was up. What was there that was so big that she couldn't tell him about it? There was one other thing. Since James was spending his time actively serving in the marines, he would have no time to take care of his daughter, Anne. She would naturally go with her mother to Japan, and take part in whatever it was she was up to. ---------------------- Discussion Topic 24601
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I got bored today, so I decided to try writing an epic out of nowhere based off of an idea I had while biking. The chapters are going to be short, and I actually don't have this planned out in the slightest. Like, I have an idea of a few scenes I would like, but otherwise this is completely improvised and I have little more of an idea of where this is going than any of you. Hopefully the prelude catches your interest, though. 24601
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Review Topic - Reviews are not necessary but are extremely welcomed, even if it's just telling me that you're reading so I know that I'm not posting cheese into the Void. Chapter 1 Trinuma, member of the Order of Mata Nui, was bored. That, in and of itself, was a unique condition, especially considering that he had just invaded a fortress and was walking past vaults of…treasure. But unfortunately, this fortress was Daxia, and the treasure at hand was written on tablets. Information. On Mata Nui, his mission. The true nature of the giant robot. Commentary on various peoples and objects of power. All of which Trimuma had learned and memorized long ago. Which meant he had little interest in salvaging these records from their giant vaults, and taking them out into Spherus Magna where enemies could find them. Well, okay, they were going to build another fortress, but still – not exactly the best plan. He was about to give in and go tell Tobduk just that when he reached the last vault door. Or rather, didn’t reach it – it had been melted away. Of the records in that last vault, there was no sign. Trinuma shuddered. This could not be. Should not be. But the evidence was unmistakable. I failed. Somehow. But it was impossible. He knew it was. He knew that…Tobduk could not find out about this. He ran. Whoever did this was on Spherus Magna. He would find them, and finish the task he thought he had finished. * * * Turaga Kali, Turaga of Plasma, was trying very very hard not to laugh his head off. For one thing, it would disrupt his friend’s pinpoint and precise concentration as he piloted his plasma-fired flying vehicle at ridiculously fast speeds. For another thing, the robot that they were flying through was very cold and quiet and any sound would likely echo for miles. It was only when the two touched down next to their hut on the outer reaches of town that Kali finally let loose his bolt-ripping guffaws. He slapped his Toa partner on the back. “That was terrific! That look on Trinuma’s face was priceless!” The Toa, ignoring Kali, began unloading the large parcels from the back of the vehicle and began sorting through them without comment. Time was of the essence. “These are the ones we want.” Tacker said, handing a particularly large stack of tablets to Kali. He dissolved the rest of them easily – most of these, Kali noticed, were treatises on extinct Rahi, including dates and cause of extinction. Well, okay, there was one tale of an old fortress that had withstood several Skakdi raids before all of its inhabitants vanished, mildly interesting, but not worthy of much attention. “Are you sure there’s nothing valuable in there?” Kali joked. Tacker shrugged, and helped Kali carry the tablets inside. “C’mon, Tacker, lighten up. What is with you?” “We have to find them before they die. If they aren’t dead already – hopefully they froze before the air ran out.” Kali grimaced. “Well, at least we do have these tablets. It could be worse.” But Tacker was already reading the first tablet off the stack with rapt attention. Kali scowled. He remembered a simpler time, when Tacker would have laughed at his jokes. When the two would have happily celebrated their successful campaign of pulling a fast one on the most secretive organization in the universe. But to the now-methodical Su-Toa, it was just one more step in a larger plan. * * * A short while later, Tacker looked up from his reading. It was late, and Kali turned on the lightstone in the hut. Tacker saw that Turaga had finished his own stack of tablets and had a somewhat resigned look on his face. Only a couple more tablets to go, and Tacker would be done. He was starting to wonder if he had gotten the wrong vault. None of any of this made any sense. Sure, it was all there – what he expected… He caught a movement, near the window. Someone was spying on them! Nervous, he jumped to his feet, carefully setting the tablet down. Tacker ran to the door and stuck his head out, looking around for the fleeing intruder. There! The street-stones showed a shadow, ugly and misshapen, heading away from the hut. Trinuma! Tacker ran, calling on the power of his Kanohi Kadin as he did. Took off, following the shadow. Flight gave him the advantage of silence, although without the Mask of Concealment he had been using earlier, his orange and white armor would be plainly visible. However, the stranger appeared to be in a hurry, not minding the pursuer at all. They were soon near the center of town. Tacker slowed a bit, rising higher so not to lose his quarry in all the twists and turns, and to avoid being seen by anyone below. The stranger entered a small humble building near the center of town. Tacker landed into a run, panting furiously... He arrived just in time to see the Mask of Life vanish into thin air. Two Matoran guards and a Toa lay unconscious on the ground, clearly in some sort of pain. Frantic, Tacker ran around the pedestal. Feeling it. No mask. He saw a shadow outside slip away. Ran, following the stranger through the maze of alleys. He was closer, using his flight power to go fast close to the ground. The monster. Right there. A small rivulet of plasma formed between his fingers, just so the garish green light might illuminate his nemesis. He saw armor, flickering and fading, and then felt a burst of pain on his forehead. Something hit, and he fell on his back. He didn’t feel the second impact. * * * The world shook Tacker awake. He was staring at the sky, and his world blared red. He twisted his head to his left, seeing a huge contraption bearing down on him, like a giant Rahi on wheels. Tacker looked down at himself. Chains, blinking red lights embedded in them. Well, you picked the wrong Toa for this trick. Tacker tried his elemental power. Nothing. Tacker looked, frantic. He had seconds, maybe. Head jerked left, then right. There were bolts hooking the chains to the ground. They had gaps at the bottom, enough for a link to pass though, perhaps. He grabbed the last link. Inhaled. Exhaled, flattening his chest, and slipped the link through the bottom of the bolt and out. The chain went slack, and Tacker threw the chain off. Rolled free. The rails shook, and his mask sent him up into the air…right in front of two shocked Skakdi faces. Review Topic
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All righty, here I will be posting a story that I've been working on for the past week or so. I will keep working on the saga (this is only one of the stories in the saga). It is named Oklan (working name). As far as I know, it will be PG. If that changes later, I will notify you all. Here is the review topic. Chapter 1 Oklan opened his eyes, but shut them quickly when briny water splashed into them. No. The water didn't splash as much as it poured into them, as if it had been there first and was just filling a place that it should have been. He opened his eyes again. The salt water irritated his eyes and blurred his vision, but he was still able to see where he was. He was floating, submerged, in the ocean. He looked up and saw the sun sparkling above, probably ten or so feet. He swam up, and, bursting through the water, took a deep breath. It was only after he did so that he noticed that he didn't actually feel like he neededa breath; he had just done it automatically. He then looked down at his hands and noticed that they were quite wrinkled. I must have been in the water for a while, he thought. He looked around at the horizon and noticed the outline of an island about half of a mile off. He swam towards it slowly, saving his energy. After about fifteen minutes he turned around and floated on his back for a while. Once the sun had gotten too warm for his pale skin, he turned back over and swam again. He repeated this three times before dragging himself onto the beach. It itself was made of a slightly pink sand, while further up were many large rocks. Beyond that he couldn't see. He lay on the sand for several minutes before stiffly getting to his feet. As he walked on the sand, he realized that there were no footprints on the sand other than his. He walked towards the rocks, and, arriving there, started climbing up them. Oklan saw that up ahead was a rock that was quite a bit larger than the rest. He made his way to it and clambered up the side. Once he got to the top, he looked around at his surroundings. The ocean from which he had come seemed endless, though he doubted it was. On the pink-tinted beach he saw his lone set of footprints leading towards the rocks where he now stood. He turned around and looked on the other side of the rocks. It was primarily dense jungle, though he could see some small clearings of the trees in a few sections. No smoke rose from the jungle. Further out, he could see a mountain. The rock Oklan was standing on was hot from the sun and was burning his feet, so he carefully climbed down the way he had come. He clambered over the last few rocks before standing at the brink of the jungle. He parted a few bushes in his path while stepping into the lush forest. After the initial blockade of bushes, vines, and trees, Oklan realized that the jungle wasn't as dense as it had looked from the rock. There was enough room that he was usually able to move without having to push past anything. He walked for over an hour and the sun had started to slowly sink, darkening the forest. He walked by what seemed to be an impenetrable wall of vines when he felt a pull in that direction. He turned to face it, not sure what was happening, all the while feeling that he should try pushing past the vines. He tried parting them and found that he could do it easily. He walked through the vines. His vision blurred, then cleared all in the matter of a few seconds. He found himself in a surprisingly well-lit clearing. The light seemed to be centered on three small pools, not much more than dips in the ground. He walked over to them. One was filled with an opaque brown liquid, though nothing like mud. It was smooth and evenly colored, almost beautiful. When Oklan looked at the second, he thought it was empty. But then the light shifted and he realized that it was filled with the clearest liquid he had ever seen. The third was filled with a bluish-tinted liquid that was, like the second, very clear. Oklan was started when he heard a voice that seemed to come from everywhere. "Kyreth Oklan, you must choose from the three elemental pools before you. The first is Earth. The second, Air. And the third is Water." And then it was gone. Oklan was still trying to figure out where the voice had come from or who it belonged to when he noticed that light was pouring out from all three of the pools. He looked at them all again, more closely. Some small part of his mind called out for the water, so he went back over to it again. Small ripples went through the surface of the liquid when he got near it. "What do I do now?" he wondered aloud. The voice spoke again. "If you have decided, plunge your arm into the pool of your choosing." Oklan did so. A chill went through his entire body, followed by the feeling of something creeping up his arm. When he looked there, he saw that the water from the pool had started climbing up his arm. In a moment he felt as though he was , but not as though he had become it. It seemed as though the water had become him. A moment later, the feeling was mostly gone, though some small part of it stayed with him. When he looked into the pool, which hadn't gone down at all, there was no reflection of his face. He got up to look in the other pools, but found them empty. When he went over to the water pool again, it too was empty. Again he felt a pull, again, it was towards the wall of vines. He walked over to them and parted the vines before looking back longingly at the pools were, but found them completely gone. The ground had smoothed out and the area wasn't well-lit anymore. He turned again to the wall of vines and walked through.
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Here is the review topic for Oklan. Comments and critisism encouraged.
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OK, I had a [hopefully] great idea the other day - Why not write out the comics into a story-like style? So here I will be posting what I do of that. Now you may ask why I put them in Epics instead of Short Stories. I did it because I will (hopefully, if you guys like it enough) continue writing the comics. I will be posting them all in here. I will probably be posting them in half-comic sections. The review topic is here. OK, here is Chapter 1 (each chapter will be half of a comic). The island of Mata Nui was once a paradise – until the entity known as Makuta arrived, transforming it into a land of darkness and evil. The natives, called Tohunga, and their leaders, the Turaga, have waited and hoped for heroes who would conquer Makuta and save their home. Now their waiting has come to an end. Six mighty warriors, known as Toa, have arrived on Mata Nui. Each controls a force of nature – fire, air, earth, water, stone, ice. But to triumph over Makuta, they must gather the Kanohi Masks of Power, which give them greater skills, abilities, and wisdom. The more masks they collect, the more powerful the Toa become. Finding the Masks takes great courage, for Makuta controls the land, sea, and sky of Mata Nui. He also commands a host of terrible creatures known as Rahi, as well as the Manas, fierce predators with power that no single Toa can withstand… If the Toa hope to win, they must find the power of the Masks! Find the Power! Small crabs crawled around on a large metal canister that had recently washed up on a beach. It hissed slightly when some of them reached the top, frightening and scattering the crabs. In a moment, the front of the canister blew off. With it came a few white-tinted body parts, though they looked far from dead, along with a few pieces of the same color armor. The eyes of what looked like the head of whatever it had been started glowing a bright blue. The head was attached to what must have been the torso of the figure, of which one arm was still intact. The working arm groped around for its pair, then pushed it into place at the figure's shoulder. Thoughts came into the mind of the partly-together figure. I have slept for so long. my dreams have been dark ones. He attached one leg after another into where his hips were. But now I am awakened. He picked up a mask laying in the sand, one of the few remaining pieces of his body. He pressed it onto his face. Now the scattered elemens of my being are rejoined. Now, I am whole. He stood up, stretching his muscles. He glanced down at a white sword stuck at an odd angle into the sand. He leaned over and picked it up, getting a feel for its weight and balance. And the darkness cannot stand before me. *~*~* The being walked off the beach towards a valley filled with snow. As he walked, thoughts were racing through his mind. The evil on this island is about to learn that justice can be very...cold. He continued walking, but noticed something, or someone, in the very corner of his vision. My mask lets me see pathways not seen before--patterns of head--even through the rock. And I see that I have a visitor. He turn towards what he saw, a small figure hiding - or trying to hide in any case - behind an outcropping of snow-covered rock. "Come out, little one, before you catch a chill." the white figure said to him. The small figure, who also wore white and a similar mask, started running away. My new friend tries to flee, but a coating of ice beneath his feet will bring him sliding back to me, he decides. He swung his sword down onto the earth, sending a ripple of ice through the ground. "Stay," he commanded. "Yaaah!" the smaller figure yelled. Interesting, the larger figure thought. The power is in me. The sword is but the focus. "We have things to discuss." he said. The smaller figure was still tumbling in the snow and ice, but when he heard the other being speak, he made an effort to recover himself. "Who are you? And why were you watching me?" The larger white being demanded. "I...I am Matoro, a Tohunga. I saw you come ashore. I've been waiting for you." The larger figure leaned in closer to Matoro, who, in response, leaned in as well. "All of us here on Mata Nui have been waiting for you and the others. Now if only you can find the masks of power..." Matoro tried continuing to speak, but the other cut him off. "What 'others'? What masks?" Matoro told him, in the best way he could, about what he knew about him. When Matoro asked for his name, he automatically responded, saying "Kopaka". As soon as the words had left his mouth he knew they were true, but he wondered how he knew. Kopaka thought the entire time Matoro spoke. His tale is broken. Incomplete. But it is the tale told in my dreams, or close to it. I have been summoned--I and others--to challenge a mighty evil. To defeat it, I will need great power. The Kanohi masks will give me that power. Once Matoro finished speaking, Kopaka spoke again. "Tell me where to find these masks." "They are lost. Scattered. Hidden all over Mata Nui. Some are guarded by nightmare creatures...others hidden where no Tohunga could reach. Turaga Nuju, the village elder, spoke of a mask of shielding, hidden in the place of far-seeing." "'Place of far-seeing'? Your Turaga speaks in riddles." Kopaka turned away from the still-sitting Matoro. Matoro took the hint and got up and followed Kopaka. "I hate riddles." *~*~* The tracks they left were not left alone or buried by more snow. They were seen by a creature not unlike those Matoro mentioned. *~*~* The two of them kept walking until the valley opened up into a chasm of indeterminable depth. On one side of the chasm was a steep icy cliff, and on the other, absolute nothingness. Kopaka and Matoro stopped at the edge. “My people are planning an ice bridge to span this chasm—in your honor,” Matoro said. “Until then, I will make my own. I--” Kopaka started. A creature, the same one who had been tracking them for around an hour, charged up from behind them. “No!” Kopaka yelled. The monstrous creature knocked Matoro off of the edge. Right before he fell, he shouted to Kopaka. “Kopaka! Watch out!” Kopaka lept over the edge, grasping for Matoro's hand. After a few perilous moments, they grabbed each other by the arm. Kopaka pulled Matoro higher up and held him around his middle. “Don’t struggle! You’re safe now!”
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What are the glitches and such (whether they be good or bad) you have noticed in the Bionicle Flash games (and yes, I know MNOLG 2 was just one big glitch, but whatever). My favorite one would be that in Matoran Escape you can hold down the space bar (Switch Character) and while you hold it down you will keep switching, and you are invincible for the most part. For example, Zamor spheres go straight through you without doing anything. What ones have you noticed?
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I was wondering what your favorite LEGO (or Bionicle)gift you have gotten was. I would actually say mine was the Episode 3 Star Wars Clone Walker thing from 2005. The reason? Because I got it in ~2009. Another good one was when I got Keelerak. What were yours?
