Zatth Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Finally got a chance to swing by the review topic I'm loving this so far! I think there's been a good balance between character exposition and development, and plot progression. The fight scene was quite descriptive, and I think many members got 'screen time' to look and be awesome.I am shocked as well with Makaru's death, but since it propels the story and raises the stakes, so be it! (Now I'm worried for everyone else, what with me leading them )Over all, I'm loving it so far and await each chapter with excitement! I'll vote to move as a group for safety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gifthammer Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Great chapter! Oh the comedy of Cyrix. For the question: sticking together would be the logical move for the group, but especially if you plan to bring in a more hunter like enemy soon, then: Answer B has oh so much potential. > split them into groups and let the Games begin! 1 Quote Every hero is born from his enemy; every leader, his followers; and every father, his children. Metru Nui: the Fall My 3D printing designs on Thingiverse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Let's Henshin! Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 No one ever goes back for reinforcements in fiction. So let's try for once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishers64 Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I vote B. *evil villain laugh* Quote Hero Factory RPG | Bionicle Mafia XXIX: Storyline & Theories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Portalfig Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I do think B will be the most... interesting. (plus that way you can focus on smaller groups and it would be much easier for you. =P) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Let's Henshin! Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Why not B and C? One group goes back for reinforcements. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xccj Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 Why not B and C? One group goes back for reinforcements. SHHHH! Quote My BZPower Stories Dark Core--Kulagi's Kanoka--A Shadow's Contrivance--Mystery on Keli-Nui--BZ-Koro: To Bring Back Bionicle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaleidoscope Tekulo Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 (edited) Reinforcements sounds neat, but I also like the idea of the crazy crew being its own thing. Though, if I were Tekulo, which I am, I would want the family to stay together. Can I vote for all of the options? Well, someone just died and there's talk of a mole (and what's more, there actually is a mole), so I think a lack of trust to disperse the group could be interesting and highly stupid as they will be picked off one-by-one. LET'S DO THIS! LEROOOOY JENKINS! So, yeah. I vote B Also, Tekulo is useless in a battle and plays a cheerleader who wants to stay out of the fight? Gee, it's like I'm right inside the story! (Seriously, though, stop spying on me. I can only be flattered for so long before I'm thoroughly creeped). Also, Cyrix is shaping up to be my favorite character. ...Tekulo and the others. We should get shirts made. =P Edited December 18, 2014 by Actually... I'm Santa 1 Quote Executive Vice President of Tomato Throwing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franco Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I liked that chapter. For voting, I'd say B is obviously contrary to the group's interest (we're losing members and splitting up is a bad way to ensure that doesn't happen). A is a step up the totem pole, but only C is appropriate when the group is hurting so badly as it is at present, so I'll go with that. Bonus points for providing an opportunity to introduce new characters. Quote [Profiles] Wisdom. Restraint. Emptiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyrix Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 rip in peace makaru Really wasn't expecting him to die, but it'll serve as a good motivation for the team (especially Zatth). And oh hey, Cyrix can be useful! Good to know that his craziness doesn't render him completely useless. The fight scenes were very enjoyable. Although A would be the more logical choice, I'm going to have to vote for B, just because I think that would be a bit more entertaining (plus I second Tekulo's notion of keeping the crazy crew + Phyoohrii together for a little while longer, it's pretty entertaining). Quote [Cyrix] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xccj Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 I Am A Walrus - Huh, that bit with the shrinking Kanoka was old school for me. Guess I need to start getting creative with mask / disk powers again. Actually... I'm Santa - I'm not stalking you, you just wrote a very good character Bio. Tekulo is going to be fun as one of the few non-fighty characters, hopefully can make him shine some more! Anyway, new chapter. The expedition members get back together... just in time to decide to break up the band! You can choose who I'll focus on next with this chapter's question. But in the meantime, have some villiany, and a few other bits to expand on the mystery of what-the-Karzahni I'm thinking. Thanks for reading! Quote My BZPower Stories Dark Core--Kulagi's Kanoka--A Shadow's Contrivance--Mystery on Keli-Nui--BZ-Koro: To Bring Back Bionicle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zatth Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Great chapter. Glad to see some more baddies popping up! I'll go with C. I feel like BZ-Koro deserves a bit more screen time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dotcom Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Oh hey it's me. Neat. I'm gonna go with C. Let's see more of the crazy crew! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voltex Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 That was very cool, especially the bit at the end. That said, as much as I love our dastardly crew of villains, I'd much rather see Option A. Quote JOIN AETHERGARDE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franco Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 (edited) ...Urye, just what are you doing? That chapter gave a lot of questions without matching answers, alongside Franco being a leader. So it was very interesting. I'll null vote. Edited December 23, 2014 by Carson Chambliss Quote [Profiles] Wisdom. Restraint. Emptiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyru Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 where's urye gotten to srsly ... I'll vote C. Quote BRPG Forum Rules • BZPRPG Starter Topic • Q&A Compendium • SK:A Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishers64 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 I vote B, selfishly. The story is a touch bit petty and overly dramatic, especially where I am concerned. I suppose my motive of ruling everything is somewhat of a petty villain motive, and for that I only have myself to blame, though. I sort of pictured it coming out in devious plans and strategies instead of not listening to what anyone has to say and otherwise being a spoiled brat, but I can see how you got the angle that you did. I seem to rely on my minions too much, which is an odd way to twist the "I like people" flaw. At least, both of these eventualities were something I didn't expect. I look forward to seeing how this plays out, for good or ill. Quote Hero Factory RPG | Bionicle Mafia XXIX: Storyline & Theories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Portalfig Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 It's k fishers. I won't let you down! *trips and falls down stairs* I don't really mind which one we see, I can see them all being really interesting to watch, tbh. So yeah, idk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toa Smoke Monster Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 I would want to see option A see some attention next chapter. Anyways, I really enjoyed this chapter! It was great meeting the villains and seeing how they interact. I'm very interested in see what I will do once the action starts picking up on the villain's side of things. Also, making a chair out of Exo-Toa parts sounds like amazing idea. Now I want a lifesize one for Christmas. I did find one grammar mistake, and it is: “Same way I found the rest of you,” Fighers64 said slyly.I think you meant to say 'Fishers64' here. That was the only one I could find. I look forward to the next chapter! Quote Everyone is one choice away from being the bad guy in another person's story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishers64 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 FTR, I thought the misspellings of my name were intentional. There's a case of Fisher64 in there as well. If we're going to use the "fishers64 is the villain" thing from Spinning Doctor Drake that got into Bionicle Mafia (sort of), then I don't see why we can't use the trope of everyone mispronouncing, bowdlerizing, cutting up, abbreviating, and otherwise spelling my name wrong. Quote Hero Factory RPG | Bionicle Mafia XXIX: Storyline & Theories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathan Evo Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Still really digging this, and I'm not particularly big on epics. I'm gonna null vote on this poll- I'm pretty much game to see whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xccj Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 Eh, the name misspellings aren't intentional, just me messing em up. I'm writing these on the side so I don't always have my full attention on them, and those misspellings seem to rush under my proof readings. I'll be correct them... eventually. Sorry if the character isn't meeting your expectations. I'm trying not to make the character seem spoiled, but it was like they have this great plan and it starts failing before it even begins. (So really that's more how I would react, I guess.) I also want to play this as the villains not exactly being on top of everything; not to the point where the heroes have an advantage, but just to challenge the villain trope of their ideas going exactly as planned up until the last minute or whatnot. As for people skills, I see her more as a leader who knows who her minion's skills and how to best utilize them, even if a good amount of it is thru manipulation. Oh well, I really haven't spent much time with these guys yet, so hopefully I'll improve upon them in the future. Quote My BZPower Stories Dark Core--Kulagi's Kanoka--A Shadow's Contrivance--Mystery on Keli-Nui--BZ-Koro: To Bring Back Bionicle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaleidoscope Tekulo Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 (edited) fishers64 the ice queen. If she starts singing Let it Go, then Tekulo had better jump in for the reprise of Life's Too Short. XP Also, Tekulo thinks he's not part of the crazy crew? He's either a splendid troll or he's legitimately oblivious. I am fine with either option. XD The villains make an appearance. I was wondering why fisheye was acting so confidant earlier in the story. They have quite a formidable addition to their party, but I also like the presence of an unknown force messing with the heroes and villains alike. I'm interested in following option B to find the mile, but it seems too soon in the story for that. I have a feeling if we followed that it would end in a cliffhanger. A sounds interesting and adventurey. But let's be honest, I'm voting for C. The crazy crew is not only fun, but they're also heading for an open portal to BZKoro. That is where our villains are. Tekulo is with them. This has some interesting potential. Edited December 24, 2014 by Actually... I'm Santa 1 Quote Executive Vice President of Tomato Throwing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishers64 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 If you try to get me to sing, I will tie you up with fishing line and turn you into an ice sculpture. Or maybe I should actually do it. You'd find my singing voice so nauseating that you'd be covering your ears, which is a good opening for an attack. 1 Quote Hero Factory RPG | Bionicle Mafia XXIX: Storyline & Theories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaleidoscope Tekulo Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Ah, yes, I can picture it. "LeT iT gOOOoo000! lEt it g0! WhEn i'Ll RIse liKE THe BrEaKe of DAAaaWn!!!" "NOOOOES!" The heroes fell to the ground defeated. fishers64 had conquered the world. 1 Quote Executive Vice President of Tomato Throwing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishers64 Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I could get Reznas on piano. "The PERFECT GIRL is GOOOONE! Heere I'll stand, and here I'll stay! Let the storm rage on! The cold never bothered ME anyway!" Except, all that assumes that I win. Why would I win? That doesn't make any sense. I'd probably get cut down in the middle of the song. 1 Quote Hero Factory RPG | Bionicle Mafia XXIX: Storyline & Theories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaleidoscope Tekulo Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 I now want to see someone burst into a Disney song and then get cut off at the beginning from Gurk punching them into the next chapter. Can that happen? XD 1 Quote Executive Vice President of Tomato Throwing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 1st Shadow Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I'd say focus on the group going after the source of the Exo-Toa signal. Quote ~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow ~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to NickonAquaMagna~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xccj Posted February 2, 2015 Author Share Posted February 2, 2015 And today's question shows that I do follow the general want in the review topics, even if I didn't include any Frozen songs as potential answers. Oh, and after a month and a half's hiatus, the story has been updated yet again. I can't really say I've been too busy, but I've been focusing my creative energies elsewhere. Anyway, let me know what you think. Been planning this one out in my head for a long while, but put it down on words only just today. Quote My BZPower Stories Dark Core--Kulagi's Kanoka--A Shadow's Contrivance--Mystery on Keli-Nui--BZ-Koro: To Bring Back Bionicle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dotcom Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 This was a fun one. Seems there is indeed a third party here...the plot thickens. I'm gonna go with Under the Sea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voltex Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Just Can't Wait to be King That was indeed an interesting chapter; I am wondering who this mysterious third party is.... Quote JOIN AETHERGARDE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Portalfig Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 how in the world am I supposed to choose one of these answers when they are all the best howwww Guess I'll go with A Whole New World because it is really fitting and I've watched Aladdin the most but seriously now this question was intense Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyru Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Nice chapter. I'll go with A Whole New World. Quote BRPG Forum Rules • BZPRPG Starter Topic • Q&A Compendium • SK:A Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toa Smoke Monster Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Never thought I would be voting on a Disney song for an upcoming BZP epic chapter. But my vote goes to Just Can't Wait to be King. Its my favorite out of these three choices. Also, this is another good chapter. Its great seeing that the villains are a threat and can hold their own against good guys in a fight. I also can't wait to learn more about the saboteur(s) of the portal. I have no idea who this mysterious third party is, but they definitely seem to have a plan in motion. I look forward to the next chapter. Quote Everyone is one choice away from being the bad guy in another person's story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franco Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 B: A Whole New World. Have fun. Quote [Profiles] Wisdom. Restraint. Emptiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Let's Henshin! Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 God I love all three of those songs, particularly A Whole New World and Just Can't Wait to be King... I'll just take a third route and say Be a Man from Mulan. Seriously though this was a nice chapter and worth the wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xccj Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 New chapter up. And this one delved quite deeply into comedy territory. Also some intense action, and some really poor decision making skills. Oh, and a big reveal. Or what I would like to assume is a big reveal. I don't know how many people saw that coming or not. Anyway, next time, we'll return to the hunt for the Exo-Toa, I just need you to tell me where the setting will be. Sorry, not quite as crazy a question as Disney songs, maybe next time? (And that was a close vote too. I'm glad that it was one I had a plan for too. I had ideas for "Under the Sea" and "A Whole New World", but no idea for how to pull off "I Just Can't Wait To Be King.") Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter. Quote My BZPower Stories Dark Core--Kulagi's Kanoka--A Shadow's Contrivance--Mystery on Keli-Nui--BZ-Koro: To Bring Back Bionicle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dotcom Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Oh my god.That was the greatest thing I've ever even. Wow. First my poor planning takes out Tomana in a hilarious fashion and then I spend the rest of the chapter in a duet with Tekulo. And that stinger at the end. Oh my god, seriously. So good. It's everything I could have hoped for and more. Anyways, I'm going to vote for C, Kini-Nui. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franco Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 B for Onu-Wahi and a dungeon crawl. Quote [Profiles] Wisdom. Restraint. Emptiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyru Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 woo that was exciting ! I'll vote A) for Ihu's peak Quote BRPG Forum Rules • BZPRPG Starter Topic • Q&A Compendium • SK:A Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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