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A Series of Unfortunate Accidents


Onaku

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They technically were already, Midak Skyblasters and all. The Lego Group focuses on making more ornate Bionicle weapons than they do on sets, leading to much vitriol among the fans.

 

Humans are inexplicably written into the Bionicle canon.

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They decide to make the Toa look for the masks they need. Unfortunately, Makuta knew this would happen & made sure his Rahi threw all their kanohi to the bottom of the sea. 

 

Lego decides to make more episodes for journey to one. 

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The community is split yet again and I am none the wiser.

 

Lego buys out Disney in an inexplicable and horrible legal blunder.

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Lego is now the most successful company in the world. Disney fans are outraged & storm American lego stores, but can't bring themselves to destroy anything.

 

Poly bags are discontinued.

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They are sub-par compared to 2003's.

 

Takanuva is introduced next year...

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ToaTimeLord is happy, but a lot of the G2 fans are not.

The set designers take inspiration for Gali's next set form from the Bionicle creators who like to make objectifying female characters. 

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Roodaka 2: Electric Boogaloo.

 

The Visorak are introduced to Spherus Magna. 

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I can finally make my Toa of Iron...

 

Lego reintroduces Dark Turquoise. 

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Jakura watches his group fall apart as Ghidorah accidentally makes Bonkle angry, which leads to all the other members arguing with each other over whatever is the hottest topic right now & Black Six has to step in to ban the entire Kanohi Force.

 

The Three Virtues become more popular than BZPower.

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We all begin practicing the values of unity, duty and destiny, but religious fundamentalists start questioning why we get our beliefs from a children's toy line. Those who have fought the mighty Egyptian God cards or used awesome Tamagatchis to save cyberspace can relate easily.

 

Oh, you mean the website! Then I have no clue. Korea nukes us or something.

 

THANKS OBAMA.

 

What if there was no Hordika storyline and they just skipped to the Inika storyline?

LEGO Republic:

The Valkyrie

The "Christmas Brick"

 

My BZPRPG Profiles

 

Now a proud member of The Kanohi Force

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We wouldn't get Roodaka. Without Roodaka, the objectified bionicle creations that spawned after her creation wouldn't come into existence. According to American cartoon logic, when something important doesn't exist, then the apocalypse begins & the world falls into dystopia. The lack of oversexualized Bionicle sets makes fans of Bionicle mad & it inspires them to throw the whole world into chaos. 

 

A choose your own adventure game for Bionicle is released. 

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Young Lego fans are pleased by books to read, and the older ones are indifferent.

 

Lego goes into bankruptcy.

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Unfortunately, it's the Super Megaforce Power Rangers. The crossover episode is deemed a failure & destroys all the demand for Journey to One.

 

A guest animator visits the studio & creates the ultimate cliché anime episode for Journey to One.

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He/she is mobbed and beaten to death by angry fans, causing dozens of arrests and charges. Meanwhile, the under-fives give the episode such high ratings

 

The Skrall weaponize bagpipes just after the destruction of Tajun. 

"Mutiny, Booty and Entropy"  - The Three Vices of the Frostelus

[flash=250,100]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/sprxtrerme/BANNERS/thornax.swf

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Bagpipes turn out to be extremely ineffective. The Glatorian & Agori manage to force the Skrall into surrendering with the help of Mata Nui.

 

Bionicle cosplays become popular. 

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They outclass all other cosplays, leaving little diversity and much "I'M SKRALLICUS!"-ing going on.

 

Back in 2009, all the Bionicle fans read Raid on Vulcanus, realise how awesome 2009 actually is, and The Legend Reborn turns out to be a decent movie, staying faithful to the Bara Magna's characters, epic-dystopian feel with that child-friendly darkness.

Edited by Erasmus Graves

"Mutiny, Booty and Entropy"  - The Three Vices of the Frostelus

[flash=250,100]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/sprxtrerme/BANNERS/thornax.swf

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Bionicle is saved & lasts until 2011 to reach a proper ending. Unfortunately, this change of events means Bionicle does not receive a reboot. 

 

A 7th toa set is released in the Summer Wave of bionicle sets. 

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It's the largely trans-blue Ekimu set. Everything's still the same. Nothing has changed. #ForEverOnTheRide #Don'tForgetYou'reHereForever

 

Teridax decides to open up a restaurant in Metru-Nui as an elaborate part of his plan to provide the matoran with food excellent enough to lessen their opinion on their oh so mighty Great Spirit.

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BAM! Murdered by Tuyet!

 

A homeless Matoran wanders Mata Nui.

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Makuta finds the Matoran & manages to convince him to become a host for Makuta's spirit. When the Toa meet him, Makuta uses the surprise of the toa to his advantage & his killing blow is fueled by the anger of the homeless Matoran for being treated like an outcast.

 

Kongu trades his Suletu for an Olisi.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Kongu quickly goes insane.

 

Takua goes out into the drifts...

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Takua gets eaten by a Muaka. This is what happens when you stray too far from Ko-Koro.

 

A set using all kinds of illegal connections is released.

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Purists riot and overthrow the Lego oligarchy.

 

Lego releases a set that consists of solely slope pieces...

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Kopaka goes to the gym to start working out. However, he passes a bar & decides to pop in for a drink. Or ten.

 

Lewa has arthritis because his joints have rusted.

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His legs actually crack and he can no longer walk.

 

Kongu offers flying lessons to Tamaru to help him with his fears.

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Unfortunately, Kongu's Kahu is sick & when it coughs out mucus, it accidentally chucks off Tamaru.

 

Glow in the Dark CCBS pieces are introduced.

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The pieces turn out to be radioactive and thousands die.

 

Takanuva is introduced into the new canon.

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