NickonAquaMagna Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 I had to shrink these down to fit BZP's 500 kb limit. To see higher-res versions of these pages and more, simply visit the DA gallery. https://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/gallery/64101494/The-Toa-A-Bionicle-retelling Please also consider checking out Planet Ripple, my original series. And now, read on gathered friends. Before anyone asks about Nova Orbis.... Trust me, I will get back to that someday. But every time I've tried to get back into it lately, I've just given myself a headache and gotten overwhelmed. Keep in mind, I'm also working on Planet Ripple every day that I can, so I'll be lucky to finish a page of this per day on top of that. But I wanted to give people here something simple and refreshing that I could update regularly, so here it is. "The Toa" as I'm calling it, is going to be a simple retelling of the original story, mostly focused on 2001 but referencing some other things. It's not a simple recap of the Mata Nui Online Game's story, as you may've noticed already from some of the twists shown so far. The Toa Canisters actually do fall from space this time, there are boys and girls in all Matoran tribes (there's a female Ta-Matoran to the left in the panel where Vakama emerges from his hut), Tahu nearly dies landing directly on the island, and Takua doesn't have amnesia from falling on a beach. I have many other tweaks in store, and it's going to diverge more and more from the original story over time. Basically, if I had to take the BEST things about G1 and cram them into one simple, easy to follow, streamlined story that addresses many of the criticisms made over the years... this is how I'd do it. Rather, how I'm going to do it. So yeah... feedback is appreciated. I hope this first taste has people excited. 2 13 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taka Nuvia Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 I am a huge fan of the silent beginning, it creates a fittingly mysterious atmosphere. The art style is interesting, and I like the Toa's faces without their masks, as they're both reminiscent of the old sets yet have a certain 'alien' vibe to them.Overall, this looks really promising, I'll definitely keep an eye on it! 2 Quote My art collection topic - updated! (21/09/2021) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 11, 2017 Author Share Posted September 11, 2017 (edited) Thanks. I hope more people do as it goes on. Here's the next page. Look at Lewa, getting that kind of attention and just eating it up. Haha You know that bit in "Elf" where Buddy (Will Ferrel's character) keeps getting handed flyers and saying thank you? That's basically how I imagine Lewa's delivery sounding here.The last panel's depiction of Onu-Koro was inspired by this amazing piece that just...Oooogh, look at that. Beautiful. As soon as I saw it I had to feature it in this story.As for Onua's line... Who here can relate? (I can't help hearing it said in his synthesized, "Reviving Bionicle" voice). Edited September 11, 2017 by NickonAquaMagna 5 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scrapmetaru Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Only real criticism I can think of is "why didn't you change the two redundant elements?". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 Because I still like those elements...? I like Brickonicle an' all, but if I wanted to I could've just made a straight adaptation of that. 1 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil_jaga_genius Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Kick me in the nostalgia, why don't you =P It's good to see you back on BZP! And I'm loving your take so far. Poor Tahu, bravest and boldest of the Toa, brought to pieces by a simple navigational glitch... Also I'm getting flashbacks to the numerous broken pieces I have on my own Tahu set - it was very well loved =P His sword is bent, one of the arms is broken and his mask has a chunk taken out of the side. I had to come up with ever-more inventive solutions to give him proper limbs and a face again. Vakama certainly has his work cut out for him. Anyhow, all that to say, consider me hooked. Quote Avatar by Nicholas Anderson (NickonAquaMagna)My blog: The Jaga's Nest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TERIDAX941 Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 NOOOOOO NOT TAHU!!! I'm definitely hoping beyond hope that Vakama fixes him up. Poor guy. On another note, this comic is amazing! Artwork is great, the story is gripping, and overall a job well done! Very eager to see how it plays out! 1 Quote Formerly Iron_Man5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scrapmetaru Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Because I still like those elements...? I like Brickonicle an' all, but if I wanted to I could've just made a straight adaptation of that.I wasn't refering to brickonicle. I just meant to bring up an old flaw from g1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 (edited) Hm. I guess it just never occurred to me to think of it as a flaw. And don't worry too much about Tahu, everybody. He'll come around. See? Edited September 12, 2017 by NickonAquaMagna 4 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TERIDAX941 Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 *whew* glad to hear that! Very eager to see how things play out. I think that might be the longest time we've ever seen a character without a mask/krana on their face in G1... now I understand why they love masks so much, they're kinda disturbing to look at otherwise 1 Quote Formerly Iron_Man5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 13, 2017 Author Share Posted September 13, 2017 The original faces were trick to work with, what with their four lips and gaping mouths. I tried to make them look more like a series of overlapping, sliding plates. Also, here's page 13. Mini Visorak? Oooh boy. Time for some mind games. 3 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makuta Luroka Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 I do quite enjoy these, the art style is beautiful, and your storytelling is quite amazing! Kutgw! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 13, 2017 Author Share Posted September 13, 2017 Thank you! I'll upload a new page each day if I can. 1 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toa Bors Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 I very much like how you tied in Vakama's background as a mask maker, as well as his shoulder armor. Can't wait to see more of this! Quote I joined for the 2001 nostalgia; I keep coming back for the BZP nostalgia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TERIDAX941 Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 The original faces were trick to work with, what with their four lips and gaping mouths. I tried to make them look more like a series of overlapping, sliding plates.I totally understand. It's just that when I see a Toa without his mask, I instantly think of Hakann and his jab about Toa wearing masks just to cover their ugly faces Mini Visorak? Oooh boy. Time for some mind games.Hmmm my guess is they're actually Skull spiders... but we'll just have to wait and see Quote Formerly Iron_Man5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 14, 2017 Author Share Posted September 14, 2017 (edited) Mini Visorak? Oooh boy. Time for some mind games.Hmmm my guess is they're actually Skull spiders... but we'll just have to wait and see More like mini-visorak. Just wanted to give things from Bionicle's later years cameos here and there. Edited September 14, 2017 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TERIDAX941 Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 (edited) Mini Visorak? Oooh boy. Time for some mind games.Hmmm my guess is they're actually Skull spiders... but we'll just have to wait and see More like mini-visorak. Just wanted to give things from Bionicle's later years cameos here and there. Ooo a horde of them then? Well in that case...SPIDERS! A GIANT LEGION OF SPIDERS!! (Apologies if no one else gets this reference. It was taken from the Nostalgia Critic's interpretation of Dr Smith from his review of Lost in Space.) Edited September 14, 2017 by Iron_Man5 Quote Formerly Iron_Man5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That Matoran with a Vahi Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Oh WOW, this is cool. I absolutely love the art style you're using here; and the story's coming together flawlessly so far. Between that, the layout, and the pacing, it has a real 'authentic graphic novel' feel to it, which honestly makes it a real treat to read. Very much looking forward to see where you're going with this I really enjoy the callback to what the Turaga said in Island of Doom, too; the way that the Toa's muscle tissue is regrowing as they reassemble themselves, rather than just snapping Bionicle pieces together like they did in the original animation. This way makes them feel more vulnerable, somehow, in those starting moments, which is a really nice touch. I've often considered 'rewriting' some of Bionicle's earlier years myself, but never moved past the considering stage; it's really cool to see someone else had the same idea, and is executing it much better than I ever could have ^^ 1 Quote "New legends awake, but old lessons must be remembered. For that is the way of the BIONICLE." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Sweet, I really like the artwork and the concept behind this. Looking forward to whatever you have in store for this retold story. Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 14, 2017 Author Share Posted September 14, 2017 Oh trust me, I get that NC reference. And thanks for the continuing support, everybody. Here's another page! Ooooooh boy. Yeah, I know I said this wouldn't be a beat-by-beat retelling of MNOG, but you can probably see where this scene is going. 6 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TERIDAX941 Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 Did Tahu just torch Vakama and potentially Takua (since he was in the room a few pages back)!? This just escalated rather rapidly! Gotta love the suspense. Eager to see the outcome of the chase. Quote Formerly Iron_Man5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 15, 2017 Author Share Posted September 15, 2017 They're all right, just got a little singed is all. He hallucinated that he was being attacked by Visorak. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TERIDAX941 Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 They're all right, just got a little singed is all. He hallucinated that he was being attacked by Visorak.Makuta's doing no doubt. Glad they're alright, I wasn't too worried about Vakama, Turaga of fire and all... Takua on the other hand might not be quite as fire resistant, being an av-matoran *coughspoilerscough* and that was a pretty large fire blast. Glad they're alright. Quote Formerly Iron_Man5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 15, 2017 Author Share Posted September 15, 2017 (edited) Kapura's so chill. Almost got toasted on one side, and he's so cool about it.I find these moments are funnier if you imagine the characters speaking with synthesized voices, like in Reviving Bionicle. Aaaaaaand here's another page, for the 16th. Mata Nui compels you! Edited September 18, 2017 by NickonAquaMagna 2 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TERIDAX941 Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 Wooo go Vakama! I just noticed that Tahu's coloring is a darker red than the matoran's, is that symbolizing the darkness of makers hanging around him, or is there another reason behind it? Quote Formerly Iron_Man5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 Wooo go Vakama! I just noticed that Tahu's coloring is a darker red than the matoran's, is that symbolizing the darkness of makers hanging around him, or is there another reason behind it? He still isn't doing too well, health-wise. His color will return to him as his strength does. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ta-metru_defender Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 I am having a ball reading this. Can't wait for more. Quote Hand-drawn, bespoke avatar by none other than Mushy the Mushroom. a body adrift in water, salt, and sky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 (edited) Thanks. Also I just realized "You" was missing in "welcome you to our" so on. Fixed that. Also, new page. I'm sure things can only get better for our heroes from here. Edited September 18, 2017 by NickonAquaMagna 1 3 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TERIDAX941 Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 Things got real really fast! Quite a lot is at stake it seems... who's guessing a certain green toa with a corrupt mask is next? Quote Formerly Iron_Man5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 Minor spoiler- It won't be Lewa this time. 1 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 The idea of Makuta trying to convert one of the Toa is a very interesting premise. Kinda reminds me of the plot for the original BZPRPG. Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 18, 2017 Author Share Posted September 18, 2017 This is... probably pretty plain for a cover. I wanted something minimalist and clean, but I might whip up a "proper" cover and rework this as a back cover sometime.I was a little cautious about putting my name at the bottom since it sounds like I'm claiming these things are mine. No I am not, this is a simple non profit fan comic. A tribute to something that hugely influenced my sensibilities growing up and inspired me to become the writer I am today. I owe a lot to this silly toy line. Will upload page 19 tomorrow.Not sure what kind of "theme" music a project like this should have. While I love most of the music in the old Bionicle movies, the "epic" orchestral themes just doesn't seem as fitting for something like Bionicle to me as they would for more traditional fantasy like LoTR. Sure, the more somber tracks fit well in the 2nd and 3rd movies, which are all about a fantastical culture dying overnight, but for those early days on the island...Maybe something more like the music you'd hear in a Metroid game? Come on, just listen to this or "Tallon Overworld 2" and tell me that doesn't sound like living, singing machines in a wild natural setting with temples an' stuff. 3 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TERIDAX941 Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 I like it honestly! Reminds me a bit of the Toa's old advertisement but also giving it a unique look. Very cool Quote Formerly Iron_Man5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) Question... is it okay for a non-profit fan tribute to call him "Jala?" Edited September 19, 2017 by NickonAquaMagna 1 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makuta Luroka Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Question... is it okay for a non-profit fan tribute to call him "Jala?"My firm opinion is you can't copyright a language, and the maori were in the wrong to even sue LEGO, but that's what you get when you reward litigiousness. So yeah call him Jala 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Question... is it okay for a non-profit fan tribute to call him "Jala?" I doubt the Maori people are gonna sue one person over a fan comic based on a discontinued toyline. 1 Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TERIDAX941 Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Can I just say it now? Takua is adorable! He's quickly becoming my favorite of the characters, which is saying something because I always liked Jala more in the past. (btw did he just flash a peace sign at Tahu?) Quote Formerly Iron_Man5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 20, 2017 Author Share Posted September 20, 2017 Oooohh, then you're gonna love him in today's uploads. Also... Dangit, I really wanna call him Jala but I don't wanna get hacked by a troll or something claiming to be a maori representative... which is basically how things went the first time. Guess I'll go with the name changes just to be safe. Sigh. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderKumo Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Really enjoying this comic! Quote My Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClo2J14RKmVtcnoJTv7g6PA , Bionicle films coming soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted September 20, 2017 Author Share Posted September 20, 2017 (edited) You might enjoy this, then. A debate about what the three virtues actually mean. Yes, this is happening. Remember, if these pages are too small to read you can enlarge them on DA. https://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/gallery/64101494/The-Toa-A-Bionicle-retelling Edited September 20, 2017 by NickonAquaMagna 7 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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