RPG Forum Contest 23 Reviews

[Portalfig]

Ok, there goes one character. :/Makes sense though.

[Toa Kovolta]

You realize that the form of sonar used by that mask is echolocation? You can hear the baddies and the noises they make just aren't right.

I wasn't referring to sonar. Since it would basically be the same as looking at them anyway, you'd be "seeing" their forms through the echolocation.I had a character in Abyss who was blind and used his power over earth to feel through the earth and be aware of his surroundings.They wouldn't actually be able to understand what they look like and such. Just sort of, where they are and what they're doing.

[Evex_Wolfwing]

@ Lloyd: I'd do what the Toa Metru did.Go up.

[Lara White]

You realize that the form of sonar used by that mask is echolocation? You can hear the baddies and the noises they make just aren't right.

I wasn't referring to sonar. Since it would basically be the same as looking at them anyway, you'd be "seeing" their forms through the echolocation.I had a character in Abyss who was blind and used his power over earth to feel through the earth and be aware of his surroundings.They wouldn't actually be able to understand what they look like and such. Just sort of, where they are and what they're doing.

I'm not sure how "can sense where they are and how they shift their weight" translates to "what they are doing." "Toph did it" doesn't fly here.

@ Lloyd: I'd do what the Toa Metru did.Go up.

Point, but what happens when they follow you?

[Evex_Wolfwing]

I know it is futile, but to me it seems to be the thing that must be done. Better than die within the Bastion, without hope.

[Lara White]

Alright, sure. If you can convince everyone else, go for it. :w:

[Evex_Wolfwing]

That is my plan. Thank you for your own support, though I would be fool to think you wouldn't just throw Cthulhu at us as soon as we start.

[Grantaire]

When they follow you, go on ships. As long as you can out-sail them, you're safe. Toa of water and plantlife can keep everyone alive, while iron and air toakeep the ships together and moving.Also, to those talking about food, I figured out the simple answer: toa of water and plantlife.

[Toa Kovolta]

You realize that the form of sonar used by that mask is echolocation? You can hear the baddies and the noises they make just aren't right.

I wasn't referring to sonar. Since it would basically be the same as looking at them anyway, you'd be "seeing" their forms through the echolocation.I had a character in Abyss who was blind and used his power over earth to feel through the earth and be aware of his surroundings.They wouldn't actually be able to understand what they look like and such. Just sort of, where they are and what they're doing.

I'm not sure how "can sense where they are and how they shift their weight" translates to "what they are doing." "Toph did it" doesn't fly here.

I guess that is a bit of a stretch, but my question is: if we made a character like that how, if at all, would the "insanity" affect them?Review of "Realm of Darkness" by Zombie Shark RagnarokFirst off, the font is very hard to read. Monotype is just not meant for prose, computer code only. Also, there are way too many colours. It's best to use black for everything save locations, factions and NPC's to match the elements, and avoid using large amounts of blinding yellow. Secondly, there are quite a few typos. Too many for me to want to point them all out. I would suggest giving it a read over to edit them. There is one place I will point out though, where you appear to be missing half a paragraph: "while at the same time preparing for a large incursion into". Into what?Thirdly, this is the field of shadows we're talking about right? The one that's completely devoid of light? How is it then, that every location is lit? I can understand if perhaps the Avohkii has some way of pushing back the darkness, but you don't mention this, and it's power would only be able to light the surrounding area.As for everything else, you've got some very good descriptions of locations and factions (though I'm not sure how we're supposed to make characters for the FS faction when we know so little about it, and you make it sound like anyone who is infected by the shadow is suddenly a part of this faction, this is ridiculous if they still have free will and a mind of their own), and some nicely constructed NPC's.All in all, the idea is good and you have lots of creative flow, but you need to work on your presentation. Edited March 16, 2012 by Toa Kovolta

[Lara White]

Well, if they're blind, they can still hear, and like I told Lev Zev, you can still hear the sounds they make. Those ain't normal.

[Toa of Dancing]

And if they are blind, deaf, and lack a sense of smell? If they, say, feel telekinetically? Would that be enough to drive them insane?

[Lara White]

If they can only feel telekinetically, then they'd be able to discern the creatures' shape. :PClever idea, though.

[Toa of Dancing]

Eh, true. But it wouldn't be nearly as bad as seeing, or even hearing them? And I imagine the smell is maddening, too.

Edited March 16, 2012 by Toa of Dancing

[Lara White]

They don't have a concept of hygiene, so yeah. And no, it wouldn't be as bad, but still pretty bad.

[The Lorax]

Trapped in a MapFirst of all, I think this is a really cool RPG. It hooks me in and makes me want to know more, while making my head bubble with ideas for characters and stories. The world you have created is sufficiently detailed, but still leaves an element of mystery. What is going on in the outer lands? What might I find in the tunnels? This strikes the perfect balance in making me want to play this game and find out. Good job here.The balance between the plot with the Worshippers and the freedom for players to explore the world and create plotlines is something else I like. There is enough to keep things ticking along while still encouraging players to create their own stories. If this RPG wins, I will definitely be playing.I can pick out almost nothing negative to say about this entry. Really, I love almost everything about it. A few things though. When you say "No giving yourself super powerful Kanohi", which ones do you condider overpowered? The legendary ones obviously, but it would be good to specify. What some people think is reasonable will be out of another's league. Just a minor detail there.Horde out of LimboI support the idea of a sanity meter, but if it were to be implemented, I would have a couple of questions I haven't seen answers to yet. Apologies if the answers have been in this topic and I missed them.Would sanity be measured by how many posts in a battle or by the amount of in-game time that has passed? A post can cover anything from a couple of seconds to a few hours, so I would like to see the later. Something like 'When you see these things, you feel sick and disorientated. After 30 seconds of looking at them... After 1-2 minutes of looking at them...' and so on. My other question is about whether the system will be flexible enough to incorporate individual characters' mental states before the battle. Everyone is likely to respond in a slightly different way to this madness, so I imagine some would be more resistant than others to the horrors placed before them. Not that any would be immune, but some might have greater fortitude.RustThis is a nicely written survival-type RPG in Metru-Nui. The situation is well explained, and the locations section gives all the necessary information without overcomplicating things of getting too long. This is Metru-Nui after all, and people know the location well already.I can see thar you have put a lot of thought and imagination into the different casts of kraata. There are a lot of them, but the uniqueness of each one keeps them interesting and fresh. I love the amount of detail you have put in here about the biology of each type. It just makes it all seem much more plausible (and scary) than just saying what each one does.A couple of things I wasn't completely clear on: What stage are incubators and corruptors usually at? Do they keep these powers when inside a host? Can the host access them? Another thing was the "no overpowered masks" rule. Which ones do you conside overpowered? A lot of different opinions create a grey area here, so could you make a list of banned kanohi? Vahi, olisi etc...Overall, I would definitely play this game if it won. The way it is written draws me into that world, and as I read I'm already wondering what I should do. Good job.

[Evex_Wolfwing]

RustThis is a nicely written survival-type RPG in Metru-Nui. The situation is well explained, and the locations section gives all the necessary information without overcomplicating things of getting too long. This is Metru-Nui after all, and people know the location well already.I can see thar you have put a lot of thought and imagination into the different casts of kraata. There are a lot of them, but the uniqueness of each one keeps them interesting and fresh. I love the amount of detail you have put in here about the biology of each type. It just makes it all seem much more plausible (and scary) than just saying what each one does.A couple of things I wasn't completely clear on: What stage are incubators and corruptors usually at? Do they keep these powers when inside a host? Can the host access them? Another thing was the "no overpowered masks" rule. Which ones do you conside overpowered? A lot of different opinions create a grey area here, so could you make a list of banned kanohi? Vahi, olisi etc...Overall, I would definitely play this game if it won. The way it is written draws me into that world, and as I read I'm already wondering what I should do. Good job.

I never thought about the Incubators and Corruptor's Stages... I'll add that, and Rusted getting Kraata powers. I'll also restate the rules a bit...I'll review yours sometime soon...

[The Dark Chronicler]

Well, I've finished reading all of the other entries, which has certainly shown me the sheer number of great entries there are in this contest. Now I thought it might be worth writing reviews for each of the entries. Now, I don't know If I'll be able to review them all... but I'll get a few reviewed.Trapping my AttentionA review of Trapped in a MapI like this one, it has an interesting introduction to it, makes you wonder why he's trapping people in a map, or if it's for no other reason than his own entertainment. It starts off leaving an interesting mystery which I suspect might have some part in the plot. I like that.The Faction section seems to be rather basic, nothing overly complicated, which for this game works well. People who worship the Carver out of fear of other reasons, and those who don't scattered into a diversity of groups. Nothing that I wish to point out here.Locations, the places in which the story takes place. First of all, I like the map. It doesn't really look all that much like a tablet, but is awesome all the same. Nothing really to point out here, except that Stasis seems like a rather non punishing punishment. Nothing wrong with it, but it seems like it would not really help reform lawbreakers as much as give them a sense of being an anachronism and feeling out of date when they get out. It seems like the outcasts would try to force the Rahi out of The Outcast Towers, but perhaps it is not all that easy to accomplish. Overall, I see nothing wrong here, it's all good.Nothing to comment on the character creation section. A lack of species limitations is rather pleasant, as it means almost any species can be used, and possibly will. That makes for a diverse population. Again, nothing to point out to the negative here within my mind.

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

Currently, City of the Dead is the most popular RPG in the contest, from what I can tell. Since that means I'm going to be playing it, I want to make sure it's as good as it can be.So, with any edits made by the GM up now, I begin the review.-Toa Levacius Zehvor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Toa Levacius Zehvor presents...An In-Depth Review of City of the DeadHead GameMaster Zarayna; Co-GameMasters Dovydas, KNI, and Tyler DurdenI hope to make this clear at the beginning - this RPG has extremely high expectations. I don't expect TPTI or Lloyd quality here, but with the assembly set up. While I know little about your GM ability, Zarayna, I do know about your three cohorts. TD hasn't been doing it on Techna for too long, but he does a good job (a bit too quick on punishments, but what can you do?). Dovy and KNI do good work, and they're pretty good at hyping up a villain. They just suck at closing the plot-line up in an epic way...I would also like to make clear that any canon-discontinuity errors I will make note of. Are they that great of a deal in an RPG? No, not really. But I'm just going to nitpick.You hype up the Visorak a lot in the opening section, and outside of the RPG, made them seem like a great big deal (@ Zaryna). But I really don't see what the big deal is after that. There's no mention of locations being wrapped in webs, save Ga-Metru, even though they're supposedly a danger to everyone, everywhere. They're mentioned in passing on the Brotherhood of Makuta faction description. Honestly, if that's what separates this from a standard 'war in Metru-Nui' RPG, then it's not really a deciding factor.Now, this wouldn't be a big deal if you didn't outright call it 'a Visorak RPG'. But it doesn't feel like a Visorak RPG. Maybe make a new banner with webs, or go easy and add descriptions of the changes to the geography by the spiders. Heck, add more green to your RPGs text, since green was a big color in 2005. It was only a few years ago where there was another RPG based on the Visorak. I remember it because it's the only RPG, my own asides, that I can think of having two posts. The name and everything I can't recall, or even its writers, but it was a good RPG, with a very clear emphasis on that idea.The opening paragraphs aren't very hooking. I don't have any sense of excitement or suspense reading about a bunch of people fleeing to Metru-Nui and finding the Brotherhood of Makuta chasing them. Because it's boring. The guy dying at the end is hardly new, either.Murder in the opening is best done when it's unexpected, and we all knew the Turaga was going to die. Southern and Northern Continents should be capitalized. We call it the United States and not the united States, do we not?'Fighting was strife' makes less sense then a cat in a bag. Cats hate bags. That was for Dovy.I'll stop with the grammar. The entire post is cluttered with poor grammar, and it's not like all of my sentences are perfect. But honestly, reread the RPG Zarayna. Does it make sense? No? Rewrite it. Yes? Rewrite it anyways.That was a joke.About Tridax taking the Great Temple - if I had been part of the refugees, he would never have taken it. My first act would have been to barricade it, repair it, and stock it full of supplies against a siege. It's literally the most strategically sound location on the island. If you want my advice, make note of that, and then state that Tridak's forces managed to uncover a secret entrance and force their way in, butchering citizens in the night - and possibly some of the Turaga in charge of the Sons that were murdered.Cliche? Yes. But we know that there is a secret entrance, as RPGers, because Vakama uses it twice in the Bionicle: Adventures storyline. Plus, I find it makes more sense that way. And considering the possibility of somebody exploiting that knowledge OOC they couldn't possibly have as characters, it also gives a valid reason for closing off that entrance, and further defending the seat of Brotherhood power.Ah, yes, Keetongu. No doubt with Turaga Dume and the Rahaga, wherever he is... Most of the common Rahi tried fleeing Metru-Nui. They'd be up on Mata-Nui at the current point in time.Do you need to give the results for encountering a Hordika? Anybody with a rough knowledge of 2005 (read: Bionicle) will know what Hordika do. And by the second time you said, 'but that's just a rumor, dot dot dot, right?', within scrolling distance of each other, I was very : face. On that note, a cure, and a mystic beast? Are you saying two different things? And who's spreading these rumors - which faction? Because I shall kill the rumor mill when I join the RPG. That will be my first post. The face of the rumor spreader being grinded into the conveyor belts of Ta-Metru.Of course it would be by my BoM character.I'm still in disagreement about the Stelt issue, but I'm done with that ordeal. I don't need to fend off another Co-GM attack.EDIT: Was here right? I dunno. Anyways, you messed up with the races. You should say 'most populous' not 'largest size' with Matoran, especially when you describe height right afterwards. About physicality - the Turaga aren't necessarily weaker. Considering Vakama was able to keep moving fast enough, with invisible, to trick the Rahi-Nui, he wasn't just clumsily stumbling about.Did any Outcasts joined with the Brotherhood upon their arrival? Or did you have to be part of the original fleet to be a member?Do we all know what Metru-Nui looks like? Yes. But nevertheless, a territory map should be designed.How do the powers of a Vahki outclass that of a Toa? Do you know what a dozen Vahki is worth to a Toa of Iron? Or Magnetism? Or, heck Gravity? But that's not the point - why are they still alive? The Hordes destroyed all of the Vahki. And even if they didn't, why would they be in the Coliseum?Rules...The second one is called bunnying, in case you didn't know. The fourth rule made me chuckle.Your species ruling is unnecessarily long.Okay, mental blocks not allowed. What about immunity to mind control?There are times when death is unavoidable. That's why I always place a Mark spell at my home before leaving. That was also for Dovy.I was going to do more than this, but I feel this is enough.Levacius

Edited March 18, 2012 by Toa Levacius Zehvor

[Shyyrn]

About Tridax taking the Great Temple - if I had been part of the refugees, he would never have taken it. My first act would have been to barricade it, repair it, and stock it full of supplies against a siege. It's literally the most stratgeically sound location on the island. If you want my advice, make note of that, and then state that Tridak's forces mangaed to uncover a secret entrance and force their way in, butchering citizens in the night - and possibly some of the Turaga in charge of the Sons that were murdered.

The refugees in the Great Temple don't necessarily think like you. Besides which, how do we know they didn't try to hold back the Brotherhood? You can't really find the supplies necessary to hold off an army when a Cataclysm has levelled the city to the ground. However, the secret entrance part is a valid point.

Most of the common Rahi tried fleeing Metru-Nui. They'd be up on Mata-Nui at the current point in time.

Concerning the Rahi: I like to think of these BIONICLE RPGs as if they're operating in alternate universes to the main one--the sort of places you could reach if you had an Olmak. In this universe, the Rahi didn't flee, for a variety of reasons. Done. No additional explanation really needed, in my book.Of course, that's just my opinion. But I stand by the rule I outlined a few days ago: It's the GM's universe. Let the GM do as he/she wishes with it.

And by the second time you said, 'but that's just a rumor, dot dot dot, right?', within scrolling distance of each other, I was very : face. On that note, a cure, and a mystic beast? Are you saying two different things? And who's spreading these rumors - which faction? Because I shall kill the rumor mill when I join the RPG. That will be my first post. The face of the rumor spreader being grinded into the conveyor belts of Ta-Metru.T

Let him have his rumors! He's clearly setting up a future story arc where characters have to search for the beast.

Did any Outcasts joined with the Brotherhood upon their arrival? Or did you have to be part of the original fleet to be a member?

Valid question, and I think it could apply to all of the factions. Could an Outcast who had been kicked out by the Vortixx join the Steltians, for example?

How do the powers of a Vahki outclass that of a Toa? Do you know what a dozen Vahki is worth to a Toa of Iron? Or Magnetism? Or, heck Gravity? But that's not the point - why are they still alive? The Hordes destroyed all of the Vahki. And even if they didn't, why would they be in the Coliseum?

By that logic, Levacius, a Toa of Iron or Magnetism or Gravity would be able to overpower any creature of the Matoran universe, since they are on average 85% metal.Additionally, you again miss a story point: The Vahki are clearly Zarayna's way of keeping players from entering the Coliseum until he's ready to let them in. As such, they fulfill a useful plot role.If you still insist they shouldn't be there, well, let's consider... the Vahki are undeniably fast, strong, and intelligent; they can make fusions with special powers; they are capable of flight; and they can shoot Kanoka disks. And this is just pre-Cataclysm; afterwards, their staffs fired destructive energy and they could reassemble themselves if dismantled (though they apparently could no longer fly). If there are hundreds of them, they seem more than capable of holding off intruders on their own, not counting the possible defenses the Coliseum itself would have.Nonetheless, a good review. Your seriousness in making sure the RPGs are up to scratch does you credit.-Shyyrn

[Relapse]

I hope to make this clear at the beginning - this RPG has extremely high expectations. I don't expect TPTI or Lloyd quality here, but with the assembly set up. While I know little about your GM ability, Zarayna, I do know about your three cohorts. TD hasn't been doing it on Techna for too long, but he does a good job (a bit too quick on punishments, but what can you do?). Dovy and KNI do good work, and they're pretty good at hyping up a villain. They just suck at closing the plot-line up in an epic way...

I'll cede the plot line point to you on this one. Although, I did have Tyler taking shots at it with Equinox, but...eh. I got over it.

I would also like to make clear that any canon-discontinuity errors I will make note of. Are they that great of a deal in an RPG? No, not really. But I'm just going to nitpick.

Alright. I'll take them into consideration, though there is only so much liberty in my position.

You hype up the Visorak a lot in the opening section, and outside of the RPG, made them seem like a great big deal (@ Zaryna). But I really don't see what the big deal is after that. There's no mention of locations being wrapped in webs, save Ga-Metru, even though they're supposedly a danger to everyone, everywhere. They're mentioned in passing on the Brotherhood of Makuta faction description. Honestly, if that's what separates this from a standard 'war in Metru-Nui' RPG, then it's not really a deciding factor.

I think the deciding factor is not only the Visorak, but the chaos in it's entirety. We've got the Brotherhood of Makuta in there, the entire Steltian monarchy, and the Visorak impending on destroying a major part of the city. I do see your point, however. There could certainly be room for expanding.

The opening paragraphs aren't very hooking. I don't have any sense of excitement or suspense reading about a bunch of people fleeing to Metru-Nui and finding the Brotherhood of Makuta chasing them. Because it's boring. The guy dying at the end is hardly new, either.

Hmm. Not sure how much I can say about that.Thanks for the tip. I nearly took you seriously about rewriting it.

About Tridax taking the Great Temple - if I had been part of the refugees, he would never have taken it. My first act would have been to barricade it, repair it, and stock it full of supplies against a siege. It's literally the most strategically sound location on the island. If you want my advice, make note of that, and then state that Tridak's forces managed to uncover a secret entrance and force their way in, butchering citizens in the night - and possibly some of the Turaga in charge of the Sons that were murdered.

Maybe the citizens weren't as wise and strategically-wired as you. We aren't all blessed to be as smart as you are.please don't hurt me

Cliche? Yes. But we know that there is a secret entrance, as RPGers, because Vakama uses it twice in the Bionicle: Adventures storyline. Plus, I find it makes more sense that way. And considering the possibility of somebody exploiting that knowledge OOC they couldn't possibly have as characters, it also gives a valid reason for closing off that entrance, and further defending the seat of Brotherhood power.

That is a good point.

Ah, yes, Keetongu. No doubt with Turaga Dume and the Rahaga, wherever he is...

If it were up to me Keetongu would be slain in combat and the citizens stupid enough to get infected could fend for themselves.But that's just me.

Most of the common Rahi tried fleeing Metru-Nui. They'd be up on Mata-Nui at the current point in time.

How would they get up? I haven't really studied the trip down, but I'm fairly certain it was one-way. I could be wrong. That happens sometimes.

Do you need to give the results for encountering a Hordika? Anybody with a rough knowledge of 2005 (read: Bionicle) will know what Hordika do. And by the second time you said, 'but that's just a rumor, dot dot dot, right?', within scrolling distance of each other, I was very : face. On that note, a cure, and a mystic beast? Are you saying two different things? And who's spreading these rumors - which faction? Because I shall kill the rumor mill when I join the RPG. That will be my first post. The face of the rumor spreader being grinded into the conveyor belts of Ta-Metru.

I will applaud you for doing something I approve of.

I'm still in disagreement about the Stelt issue, but I'm done with that ordeal. I don't need to fend off another Co-GM attack.

And I don't feel like making one. XD Edited March 18, 2012 by Shadow Guardian

[Lara White]

Two points: One, I don't know about most GMs but I know that I keep a sharp eye on elements like Gravity, Iron, and Magnetism. Especially after a Magnetism Toa ripped a cruiser in half. It is also canonical (via Word of Greg) that gravity is as utterly broken as you would expect. Two, rumours as a form of setting a plot hook are done to death, back from the grave as a zombie, decapitated and burned to ashes, used as part of a blasphemous ritual to summon Stock Ancient Evil, scattered by Stock Heroes after they were purified by Stock Priestess Staff Chick, consumed by the land for their nutrients, had crops grown from them, spread a zombie plague via those crops, infected the whole kingdom with Stock Zombie Apocalypse, destroyed by Stock Heroes #2, and the whole place reduced to ruins and lost but to the rumours drifting about murky taverns, typically dispensed by Stock Mysterious Wizards or Stock Tavernkeepers to Stock heroes #3.

[Relapse]

Good lord, man, you didn't have to go zombie apocalypse to make a point! ...

[Shyyrn]

Intricate metaphor... but what else is he supposed to do? Lay it down as fact? Make no hint of it, then spring it fully formed upon the players?Last contest, The Captain's "The Island" cast the Toa Mata as Spirits that stalked the land, and their presence (and what they would do to any Matoran who approached them) were rumors, and they were the part of the game I was most looking forward to!It's not how often something is done, but how well it's done.-Shyyrn

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

Responses in red.

About Tridax taking the Great Temple - if I had been part of the refugees, he would never have taken it. My first act would have been to barricade it, repair it, and stock it full of supplies against a siege. It's literally the most stratgeically sound location on the island. If you want my advice, make note of that, and then state that Tridak's forces mangaed to uncover a secret entrance and force their way in, butchering citizens in the night - and possibly some of the Turaga in charge of the Sons that were murdered.

The refugees in the Great Temple don't necessarily think like you. Besides which, how do we know they didn't try to hold back the Brotherhood? You can't really find the supplies necessary to hold off an army when a Cataclysm has levelled the city to the ground. However, the secret entrance part is a valid point. On the contrary, I would assume they would do their best. My complaint is that it states in the RPG that it was only a small village of Matoran there. Considering its importance beyond just location and defense, as the largest temple in the Matoran Universe, it seems like a pretty important place.

Most of the common Rahi tried fleeing Metru-Nui. They'd be up on Mata-Nui at the current point in time.

Concerning the Rahi: I like to think of these BIONICLE RPGs as if they're operating in alternate universes to the main one--the sort of places you could reach if you had an Olmak. In this universe, the Rahi didn't flee, for a variety of reasons. Done. No additional explanation really needed, in my book.Of course, that's just my opinion. But I stand by the rule I outlined a few days ago: It's the GM's universe. Let the GM do as he/she wishes with it.I stated I was doing a review commenting on things that are going against the canon.

And by the second time you said, 'but that's just a rumor, dot dot dot, right?', within scrolling distance of each other, I was very : face. On that note, a cure, and a mystic beast? Are you saying two different things? And who's spreading these rumors - which faction? Because I shall kill the rumor mill when I join the RPG. That will be my first post. The face of the rumor spreader being grinded into the conveyor belts of Ta-Metru.T

Let him have his rumors! He's clearly setting up a future story arc where characters have to search for the beast.Obviously. But the fact he says basically the same thing twice is what gets me. If he rewrote one of them, I wouldn't have an issue.

Did any Outcasts joined with the Brotherhood upon their arrival? Or did you have to be part of the original fleet to be a member?

Valid question, and I think it could apply to all of the factions. Could an Outcast who had been kicked out by the Vortixx join the Steltians, for example?

How do the powers of a Vahki outclass that of a Toa? Do you know what a dozen Vahki is worth to a Toa of Iron? Or Magnetism? Or, heck Gravity? But that's not the point - why are they still alive? The Hordes destroyed all of the Vahki. And even if they didn't, why would they be in the Coliseum?

By that logic, Levacius, a Toa of Iron or Magnetism or Gravity would be able to overpower any creature of the Matoran universe, since they are on average 85% metal.Additionally, you again miss a story point: The Vahki are clearly Zarayna's way of keeping players from entering the Coliseum until he's ready to let them in. As such, they fulfill a useful plot role.If you still insist they shouldn't be there, well, let's consider... the Vahki are undeniably fast, strong, and intelligent; they can make fusions with special powers; they are capable of flight; and they can shoot Kanoka disks. And this is just pre-Cataclysm; afterwards, their staffs fired destructive energy and they could reassemble themselves if dismantled (though they apparently could no longer fly). If there are hundreds of them, they seem more than capable of holding off intruders on their own, not counting the possible defenses the Coliseum itself would have.Yes, yes they would. Same for lightning - I made my comment in the past that if you removed the electro- in electromagnetic field, you could basically disintegrate somebody. Which I did to the ceiling in Techna (it seemed unfair to do it to a person, or even to an NPC - paralysis, on the other hand, I use freely). Really, any element, used correctly, is instant death. That's why we don't godmod.My problem is that the Vahki wouldn't be in any way superior to a Toa, especially a skilled one.And the two 'fusions' you refer to aren't fusions except in set form. The Kraanua and Kraahu (I don't remember their real names) were specialized Vahki.And plot point or not, I'm going in there. Mask of Biomechanics, check. Elemental powers of iron, check....Nonetheless, a good review. Your seriousness in making sure the RPGs are up to scratch does you credit.-Shyyrn

I hope to make this clear at the beginning - this RPG has extremely high expectations. I don't expect TPTI or Lloyd quality here, but with the assembly set up. While I know little about your GM ability, Zarayna, I do know about your three cohorts. TD hasn't been doing it on Techna for too long, but he does a good job (a bit too quick on punishments, but what can you do?). Dovy and KNI do good work, and they're pretty good at hyping up a villain. They just suck at closing the plot-line up in an epic way...

I'll cede the plot line point to you on this one. Although, I did have Tyler taking shots at it with Equinox, but...eh. I got over it.If I had my way, Pridak would have been a recurring villain. But obviously you didn't want to handle that.

I would also like to make clear that any canon-discontinuity errors I will make note of. Are they that great of a deal in an RPG? No, not really. But I'm just going to nitpick.

Alright. I'll take them into consideration, though there is only so much liberty in my position.

You hype up the Visorak a lot in the opening section, and outside of the RPG, made them seem like a great big deal (@ Zaryna). But I really don't see what the big deal is after that. There's no mention of locations being wrapped in webs, save Ga-Metru, even though they're supposedly a danger to everyone, everywhere. They're mentioned in passing on the Brotherhood of Makuta faction description. Honestly, if that's what separates this from a standard 'war in Metru-Nui' RPG, then it's not really a deciding factor.

I think the deciding factor is not only the Visorak, but the chaos in it's entirety. We've got the Brotherhood of Makuta in there, the entire Steltian monarchy, and the Visorak impending on destroying a major part of the city. I do see your point, however. There could certainly be room for expanding.If the chaos is the deciding factor, I could cause chaos anywhere I wanted. If I was really bored, I'd go to one with a volcano, and cause an erruption. Somehow. They never really do say just how Richard did it in LFG.

The opening paragraphs aren't very hooking. I don't have any sense of excitement or suspense reading about a bunch of people fleeing to Metru-Nui and finding the Brotherhood of Makuta chasing them. Because it's boring. The guy dying at the end is hardly new, either.

Hmm. Not sure how much I can say about that.Thanks for the tip. I nearly took you seriously about rewriting it. If I had a dollar for every RPG where somebody dies in the first person opening, I'd already have a college fund.

About Tridax taking the Great Temple - if I had been part of the refugees, he would never have taken it. My first act would have been to barricade it, repair it, and stock it full of supplies against a siege. It's literally the most strategically sound location on the island. If you want my advice, make note of that, and then state that Tridak's forces managed to uncover a secret entrance and force their way in, butchering citizens in the night - and possibly some of the Turaga in charge of the Sons that were murdered.

Maybe the citizens weren't as wise and strategically-wired as you. We aren't all blessed to be as smart as you are.please don't hurt meI'm not thinking smart, I'm thinking paranoid. If you were fleeing from the Brotherhood of Makuta, them following you wouldn't be too outlandish.... and from the perspective of Tridax, taking a fortified location means not having to make your own.

Cliche? Yes. But we know that there is a secret entrance, as RPGers, because Vakama uses it twice in the Bionicle: Adventures storyline. Plus, I find it makes more sense that way. And considering the possibility of somebody exploiting that knowledge OOC they couldn't possibly have as characters, it also gives a valid reason for closing off that entrance, and further defending the seat of Brotherhood power.

That is a good point.

Ah, yes, Keetongu. No doubt with Turaga Dume and the Rahaga, wherever he is...

If it were up to me Keetongu would be slain in combat and the citizens stupid enough to get infected could fend for themselves.But that's just me.The only reason he lost to Makuta was because Makuta outsmarted him. He could absorb any powers that hit him and send them back, and was physically more powerful than just about anything. Factoring in that he is reasonably smart and hid away for thousands of years, he'd still be alive.

Most of the common Rahi tried fleeing Metru-Nui. They'd be up on Mata-Nui at the current point in time.

How would they get up? I haven't really studied the trip down, but I'm fairly certain it was one-way. I could be wrong. That happens sometimes.They never detail it in-depth, but it's made clear that all of the Rahi migrated from Metru-Nui to the surfaceworld. There wasn't anywhere left to go.

Do you need to give the results for encountering a Hordika? Anybody with a rough knowledge of 2005 (read: Bionicle) will know what Hordika do. And by the second time you said, 'but that's just a rumor, dot dot dot, right?', within scrolling distance of each other, I was very : face. On that note, a cure, and a mystic beast? Are you saying two different things? And who's spreading these rumors - which faction? Because I shall kill the rumor mill when I join the RPG. That will be my first post. The face of the rumor spreader being grinded into the conveyor belts of Ta-Metru.

I will applaud you for doing something I approve of.Yay.

I'm still in disagreement about the Stelt issue, but I'm done with that ordeal. I don't need to fend off another Co-GM attack.

And I don't feel like making one. XD

Two points: One, I don't know about most GMs but I know that I keep a sharp eye on elements like Gravity, Iron, and Magnetism. Especially after a Magnetism Toa ripped a cruiser in half. It is also canonical (via Word of Greg) that gravity is as utterly broken as you would expect. Two, rumours as a form of setting a plot hook are done to death, back from the grave as a zombie, decapitated and burned to ashes, used as part of a blasphemous ritual to summon Stock Ancient Evil, scattered by Stock Heroes after they were purified by Stock Priestess Staff Chick, consumed by the land for their nutrients, had crops grown from them, spread a zombie plague via those crops, infected the whole kingdom with Stock Zombie Apocalypse, destroyed by Stock Heroes #2, and the whole place reduced to ruins and lost but to the rumours drifting about murky taverns, typically dispensed by Stock Mysterious Wizards or Stock Tavernkeepers to Stock heroes #3.This is the best post ever. Of all time.Though as I stated above, all elemental powers are incredibly... well, powerful. With water, the most 'benign', you could theoretically draw all of the moisture out of a being (which is what the spinners of Boggorahk [spelling?] could do, so Bionicle characters do have moisture in them) and dust them. When it comes right down to, god-modding rules are there for a reason.

Intricate metaphor... but what else is he supposed to do? Lay it down as fact? Make no hint of it, then spring it fully formed upon the players?Last contest, The Captain's "The Island" cast the Toa Mata as Spirits that stalked the land, and their presence (and what they would do to any Matoran who approached them) were rumors, and they were the part of the game I was most looking forward to!It's not how often something is done, but how well it's done.Rumors are an easy way to state something, but I try not to say 'rumored' too much. Say 'word has it', or 'it's said', or heck, anything to avoid the word 'rumored'.-Shyyrn

-Toa Levacius Zehvor

[Lara White]

I planned that with him--it was intended to be a jointly run, "polished" RPG. I personally wrote up the Spirits' bios and their titles, and it's something I'd like to use again. You are correct, it's how you use it that matters, but when most options have already been done to death [insert previous metaphor here] it gets a bit tedious. Personally I wanted to see players run up to the Spirits and try and ask them for help.

[Shyyrn]

And plot point or not, I'm going in there. Mask of Biomechanics, check. Elemental powers of iron, check....

Well, then I suppose it'll just have to be up to the GMs to stop you.You have such a determination to upend the games you take part in, Levacius. It's... interesting. -Shyyrn

[Lara White]

Some of us do it by accident...sometimes.

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

And plot point or not, I'm going in there. Mask of Biomechanics, check. Elemental powers of iron, check....

Well, then I suppose it'll just have to be up to the GMs to stop you.You have such a determination to upend the games you take part in, Levacius. It's... interesting. -Shyyrn

My desire to upend something is directly proportional to the percentage of people over 50% who wish to vote for it.In the end, I never made my big move in Techna. A four-man assault on S&D Library just doesn't mean much compared to a couple hundred Hackers gone mad. *Sigh*And its really all to prove a point - that if the players want to do something, then it's going to happen. It's about 86.321 times easier to break into a Vahki filled Coliseum then leading a seven hundred man army out of the Bastion and killing the Elder Leviathans while they slumber.Which is why I won't try that.Instead, I'll go for seven thousand.That will do the trick.-Toa Levacius Zehvor

[Shyyrn]

Perhaps, but he seems to make it his personal mission in every game he's interested in.I suppose it's beneficial in the long run... it'll certainly keep the rest of us on our toes!-Shyyrn

[25K Now!]

Instead, I'll go for seven thousand. And some crazy pilots stuck firmly on the Super Robot genre side of things in Collossi.That will do the trick.-Toa Levacius Zehvor

Fixed.

[Shyyrn]

Instead, I'll go for seven thousand. And some crazy pilots stuck firmly on the Super Robot genre side of things in Collossi.That will do the trick.-Toa Levacius Zehvor

Fixed.

If this happens, I will... guard the base while you're out. Someone has to. -Shyyrn

[Lara White]

...I'm impressed. That just might do it if you're economical with your soldiers.

Edited March 18, 2012 by Lloyd: the White Wolf

[25K Now!]

And then you'll probably end up ruining our day by bringing out super ascended versions of them.

[Lara White]

Such an event would be fun neither for my players nor for me.I don't do that.

[Grantaire]

I would also like to make clear that any canon-discontinuity errors I will make note of. Are they that great of a deal in an RPG? No, not really. But I'm just going to nitpick.

You hype up the Visorak a lot in the opening section, and outside of the RPG, made them seem like a great big deal (@ Zaryna). But I really don't see what the big deal is after that. There's no mention of locations being wrapped in webs, save Ga-Metru, even though they're supposedly a danger to everyone, everywhere. They're mentioned in passing on the Brotherhood of Makuta faction description. Honestly, if that's what separates this from a standard 'war in Metru-Nui' RPG, then it's not really a deciding factor.Now, this wouldn't be a big deal if you didn't outright call it 'a Visorak RPG'. But it doesn't feel like a Visorak RPG. Maybe make a new banner with webs, or go easy and add descriptions of the changes to the geography by the spiders. Heck, add more green to your RPGs text, since green was a big color in 2005.It was only a few years ago where there was another RPG based on the Visorak. I remember it because it's the only RPG, my own asides, that I can think of having two posts. The name and everything I can't recall, or even its writers, but it was a good RPG, with a very clear emphasis on that idea.

Okay, remember my campaign speech? I said there are manifold storylines. At the start, the only part of the city that has visorak is Ga Metru, where the Brotherhood landed. Why? Because they just invaded a few days ago. The Sons of the Spirit are putting up a resistance, which means it'll take them a little to get through to other metrus. In game, they will expand a lot. At its start, as you can see, it's only a visorak RPG for one metru. As the story continues, obviously, the horde and the rest of brotherhood forces will enter other metrus.I intended to make a visorak species section, actually but forgot.

The opening paragraphs aren't very hooking. I don't have any sense of excitement or suspense reading about a bunch of people fleeing to Metru-Nui and finding the Brotherhood of Makuta chasing them. Because it's boring. The guy dying at the end is hardly new, either.

Backstory is often boring, and I had to give that, as it was certainly not included in the canon.

Southern and Northern Continents should be capitalized. We call it the United States and not the united States, do we not?

If it doesn't sound like a country, i have a tenancy not to capitalize.

'Fighting was strife' makes less sense then a cat in a bag. Cats hate bags. That was for Dovy.

Fighting was rife was the term I needed.

About Tridax taking the Great Temple - if I had been part of the refugees, he would never have taken it. My first act would have been to barricade it, repair it, and stock it full of supplies against a siege. It's literally the most strategically sound location on the island. If you want my advice, make note of that, and then state that Tridak's forces managed to uncover a secret entrance and force their way in, butchering citizens in the night - and possibly some of the Turaga in charge of the Sons that were murdered.

The Sons of the Spirit don't metagame, my friend, and they had next to no warning. Tridax invaded it for a reason. The Great Temple is actually, IMO, not a sound position. The only form of retreat is into the water. A few toa of gravity and whatnot could send it into the water by uprooting the corpses it's built upon.Unfortunately, I don't have time to continue this post. I shall, later.

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

I would also like to make clear that any canon-discontinuity errors I will make note of. Are they that great of a deal in an RPG? No, not really. But I'm just going to nitpick.

You hype up the Visorak a lot in the opening section, and outside of the RPG, made them seem like a great big deal (@ Zaryna). But I really don't see what the big deal is after that. There's no mention of locations being wrapped in webs, save Ga-Metru, even though they're supposedly a danger to everyone, everywhere. They're mentioned in passing on the Brotherhood of Makuta faction description. Honestly, if that's what separates this from a standard 'war in Metru-Nui' RPG, then it's not really a deciding factor.Now, this wouldn't be a big deal if you didn't outright call it 'a Visorak RPG'. But it doesn't feel like a Visorak RPG. Maybe make a new banner with webs, or go easy and add descriptions of the changes to the geography by the spiders. Heck, add more green to your RPGs text, since green was a big color in 2005.It was only a few years ago where there was another RPG based on the Visorak. I remember it because it's the only RPG, my own asides, that I can think of having two posts. The name and everything I can't recall, or even its writers, but it was a good RPG, with a very clear emphasis on that idea.

Okay, remember my campaign speech? I said there are manifold storylines. At the start, the only part of the city that has visorak is Ga Metru, where the Brotherhood landed. Why? Because they just invaded a few days ago. The Sons of the Spirit are putting up a resistance, which means it'll take them a little to get through to other metrus. In game, they will expand a lot. At its start, as you can see, it's only a visorak RPG for one metru. As the story continues, obviously, the horde and the rest of brotherhood forces will enter other metrus.I intended to make a visorak species section, actually but forgot.Species section is unnecessary, we already know what they do. But whether or not it is your main focus or not, you have called it that.

The opening paragraphs aren't very hooking. I don't have any sense of excitement or suspense reading about a bunch of people fleeing to Metru-Nui and finding the Brotherhood of Makuta chasing them. Because it's boring. The guy dying at the end is hardly new, either.

Backstory is often boring, and I had to give that, as it was certainly not included in the canon.The backstory doesn't need to be boring. You just need to make it surprising.

Southern and Northern Continents should be capitalized. We call it the United States and not the united States, do we not?

If it doesn't sound like a country, i have a tenancy not to capitalize.South America? North America?I?

'Fighting was strife' makes less sense then a cat in a bag. Cats hate bags. That was for Dovy.

Fighting was rife was the term I needed.Then it's a good thing it was pointed out, no?

About Tridax taking the Great Temple - if I had been part of the refugees, he would never have taken it. My first act would have been to barricade it, repair it, and stock it full of supplies against a siege. It's literally the most strategically sound location on the island. If you want my advice, make note of that, and then state that Tridak's forces managed to uncover a secret entrance and force their way in, butchering citizens in the night - and possibly some of the Turaga in charge of the Sons that were murdered.

The Sons of the Spirit don't metagame, my friend, and they had next to no warning. Tridax invaded it for a reason. The Great Temple is actually, IMO, not a sound position. The only form of retreat is into the water. A few toa of gravity and whatnot could send it into the water by uprooting the corpses it's built upon.They turned into stone after they died and fused into the island. And frankly, yes it is. Build up a dock, and you can retreat with ease. The only way somebody could attack you would by water - and with siege weapons or elemental powers, you could destroy those ships and kill enemies in massive numbers - or by the bridge, where they would be forced into a narrow position. And, if necessary, you could destroy the bridge. Not to mention the spiritual significance of the location. And whether or not they meta-game, they were fleeing from the Brotherhood. Would you really expect that fleeing from your enemy would stop them from pursuing you? Especially when you're in the most strategically significant location in the Matoran Universe.Unfortunately, I don't have time to continue this post. I shall, later.And I look forward to it.

-Toa Levacius Zehvor

[Lara White]

The Great Temple isn't the most strategically significant place in the universe. It is far and away the most symbolically significant, as well as quite strategically sound (only one avenue of approach, and that's a kill-zone), although a creative enemy could pull a Hannibal-over-the-Alps and bypass what is usually a barrier and go through the water.Just a thought.

[Grantaire]

Species is necessary, especially when you have visorak, who are thought of as animals often, and steltians, about whom not a lot is know,Okay, the Great Temple.1) Settlers not expecting Brotherhood forces. Face it, they didn't flee in the sense that they were being pursued. They fled like they were trying ot get away from, a war.2) The Sons of the Spirit were on allied terms with the settlers.3) The Great Temple is not a fortress. There's no good fresh water supply, not to mention that any forces are pretty much trapped there. They would have to do what Tridax did: completely rebuild it, including docking for ships.4) The Great Temple was a place of learning. It would be converting a library into a fort when there's no threat of war.---

How do the powers of a Vahki outclass that of a Toa? Do you know what a dozen Vahki is worth to a Toa of Iron? Or Magnetism? Or, heck Gravity?

Okay, so the iron toa turn all the vahki to rust. Their molecules reassemble, and they drain the elemental power of the toa, and release it at them in an energy blast, killing them.Yeah, that's what you'd get if you tried that, to name a few of the powers I'm cooking up for these guys. When i said they were powerful, I meant it.

But that's not the point - why are they still alive? The Hordes destroyed all of the Vahki. And even if they didn't, why would they be in the Coliseum?

Ever heard the term 'mystery'? It seems to be one you don't really like, and it seems to be one that applies to this. if i win the RPG, I don';t want everyone to know a major future plot point, so I';m not answering this.

And its really all to prove a point - that if the players want to do something, then it's going to happen. It's about 86.321 times easier to break into a Vahki filled Coliseum then leading a seven hundred man army out of the Bastion and killing the Elder Leviathans while they slumber.Which is why I won't try that.Instead, I'll go for seven thousand.That will do the trick.

Good luck getting that many together.And good luck doing it without getting smited for G-Moding.Seriously, good luck with that.

Did any Outcasts joined with the Brotherhood upon their arrival? Or did you have to be part of the original fleet to be a member?

The Brotherhood forces haven't gotten there yet. They just landed, and currently are engaged in the first stages of war; conquering Ga-Metru.

Do we all know what Metru-Nui looks like? Yes. But nevertheless, a territory map should be designed.

It's in a gimp doc right now, I just need to finish it up.

The second one is called bunnying, in case you didn't know.

Bunnying is not the key, it's what that slang means.

Your species ruling is unnecessarily long.

Would you prefer I don't tell players what they can't play as?

Okay, mental blocks not allowed. What about immunity to mind control?

It would depend. I would probably allow it only if it was the ability of a mask, or an inherent ability of a custom species.

Most of the common Rahi tried fleeing Metru-Nui. They'd be up on Mata-Nui at the current point in time.

Right, I wish them good luck swimming there, or walking through tunnels infested with deadly mutated rahi.

Do you need to give the results for encountering a Hordika? Anybody with a rough knowledge of 2005 (read: Bionicle) will know what Hordika do. And by the second time you said, 'but that's just a rumor, dot dot dot, right?', within scrolling distance of each other, I was very : face. On that note, a cure, and a mystic beast? Are you saying two different things? And who's spreading these rumors - which faction?

Okay, I will admit, I disjointedly made that. they are both referring to Keetongu. As for rumors... I would credit a certain thing a legend to that. if I recall rightly, even the Metru knew of Keetongu, but as a myth.

Because I shall kill the rumor mill when I join the RPG. That will be my first post. The face of the rumor spreader being grinded into the conveyor belts of Ta-Metru.

And then I smite you for G-Moding and retcon your post out of existence.

Valid question, and I think it could apply to all of the factions. Could an Outcast who had been kicked out by the Vortixx join the Steltians, for example?

The Sons of the Spirit were the only faction to allow members whose species differed from the rest.Although I may disagree with you on some points, I nonetheless see some of your problems with the RPG. thank you for the review. *goes off to edit* Edited March 18, 2012 by Zarayna: The Quiet Light

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

Responses in brown.

Species is necessary, especially when you have visorak, who are thought of as animals often, and steltians, about whom not a lot is know,Okay, the Great Temple.1) Settlers not expecting Brotherhood forces. Face it, they didn't flee in the sense that they were being pursued. They fled like they were trying ot get away from, a war.2) The Sons of the Spirit were on allied terms with the settlers.3) The Great Temple is not a fortress. There's no good fresh water supply, not to mention that any forces are pretty much trapped there. They would have to do what Tridax did: completely rebuild it, including docking for ships.4) The Great Temple was a place of learning. It would be converting a library into a fort when there's no threat of war.---

How do the powers of a Vahki outclass that of a Toa? Do you know what a dozen Vahki is worth to a Toa of Iron? Or Magnetism? Or, heck Gravity?

Okay, so the iron toa turn all the vahki to rust. Their molecules reassemble, and they drain the elemental power of the toa, and release it at them in an energy blast, killing them.Yeah, that's what you'd get if you tried that, to name a few of the powers I'm cooking up for these guys. When i said they were powerful, I meant it.Draining energy and releasing it in an energy blast is Kraahli, not Vahki.In any case, if they have non-standard powers, state, "Vahki of unusual powers, that have proven a match even for Toa".And in any case, what you're describing is one of the worst things a GM can do. If players want to try doing something, you're not supposed to just whip up a bunch of powers so they can't do anything. While you may think it's just your way of keeping the story going along your time, it's actually blocking out attempts by the PCs to write their own. To further that point, as the GM, you're not writing an epic. You're building a world, and seeing what happens. You guide it along, have some events that will happen in due time, and watch the magic. Let the players try to do it. If they're smart enough to break in, and managed to do everything correctly, you shouldn't stop them just for the sake of your story.Which is why I will be trying to break in. And you can't punish somebody just for doing something that upsets you - they're not breaking a rule.

But that's not the point - why are they still alive? The Hordes destroyed all of the Vahki. And even if they didn't, why would they be in the Coliseum?

Ever heard the term 'mystery'? It seems to be one you don't really like, and it seems to be one that applies to this. if i win the RPG, I don';t want everyone to know a major future plot point, so I';m not answering this.If case you didn't read - I stated very clearly I was pointing out breaks in canon.

And its really all to prove a point - that if the players want to do something, then it's going to happen. It's about 86.321 times easier to break into a Vahki filled Coliseum then leading a seven hundred man army out of the Bastion and killing the Elder Leviathans while they slumber.Which is why I won't try that.Instead, I'll go for seven thousand.That will do the trick.

Good luck getting that many together.And good luck doing it without getting smited for G-Moding.Seriously, good luck with that.The only reason I'm not accepting this as a challenge is because I doubt there are seven thousand people in the city. In any case, I was referring to the Horde out of Limbo (in which I still won't be doing that, for different reasons entirely).In any case, that wouldn't be god-modding though. That would be creative use of a mask of charisma.

Did any Outcasts joined with the Brotherhood upon their arrival? Or did you have to be part of the original fleet to be a member?

The Brotherhood forces haven't gotten there yet. They just landed, and currently are engaged in the first stages of war; conquering Ga-Metru.That doesn't answer my question.

Do we all know what Metru-Nui looks like? Yes. But nevertheless, a territory map should be designed.

It's in a gimp doc right now, I just need to finish it up.

The second one is called bunnying, in case you didn't know.

Bunnying is not the key, it's what that slang means.Short is better when writing rules.

Your species ruling is unnecessarily long.

Would you prefer I don't tell players what they can't play as?Yes, I would. Maybe a few races that are well known, like the Makuta. Just two or three. When they go up for approval, thenstate the problem.

Okay, mental blocks not allowed. What about immunity to mind control?

It would depend. I would probably allow it only if it was the ability of a mask, or an inherent ability of a custom species.Or perhaps living for thousands of years and working up a resistance to it.Seriously, how could you be the same guy that GMed War Zone, Round Two, a.k.a. an RPG with less rules than I have heads?I didn't like War Zone either, though.

Most of the common Rahi tried fleeing Metru-Nui. They'd be up on Mata-Nui at the current point in time.

Right, I wish them good luck swimming there, or walking through tunnels infested with deadly mutated rahi.Again - it's what the canon says. And again, I was pointing out errors in the canon. As it states very clearly, all of the Rahi on Mata-Nui came up from Metru-Nui, then migrated back down when the Bohrok destroyed it. What, you thought they sprung up with the plants?

Do you need to give the results for encountering a Hordika? Anybody with a rough knowledge of 2005 (read: Bionicle) will know what Hordika do. And by the second time you said, 'but that's just a rumor, dot dot dot, right?', within scrolling distance of each other, I was very : face. On that note, a cure, and a mystic beast? Are you saying two different things? And who's spreading these rumors - which faction?

Okay, I will admit, I disjointedly made that. they are both referring to Keetongu. As for rumors... I would credit a certain thing a legend to that. if I recall rightly, even the Metru knew of Keetongu, but as a myth.They didn't, actually. While I wouldn't consider it outlandish for beings to the south to know of him (his race?). Or even those who read of him in the Great Temple... before Vakama destroyed all of the information contained within. Only the Rahaga had any clue of who he was.

Because I shall kill the rumor mill when I join the RPG. That will be my first post. The face of the rumor spreader being grinded into the conveyor belts of Ta-Metru.

And then I smite you for G-Moding and retcon your post out of existence. Please tell my you're joking. It you are, then haha. If not... because I killed one NPC? Because I'm playing as a Brotherhood spy, killing off somebody trying to spread hope amongst my enemies? Because I'm roleplaying in an RPG?

Valid question, and I think it could apply to all of the factions. Could an Outcast who had been kicked out by the Vortixx join the Steltians, for example?

The Sons of the Spirit were the only faction to allow members whose species differed from the rest.Although I may disagree with you on some points, I nonetheless see some of your problems with the RPG. thank you for the review. *goes off to edit*

-Toa Levacius Zehvor

[Grantaire]

Draining energy and releasing it in an energy blast is Kraahli, not Vahki.In any case, if they have non-standard powers, state, "Vahki of unusual powers, that have proven a match even for Toa".

I stated that the vahki had powers that far outclassed a toa's.

And in any case, what you're describing is one of the worst things a GM can do. If players want to try doing something, you're not supposed to just whip up a bunch of powers so they can't do anything. While you may think it's just your way of keeping the story going along your time, it's actually blocking out attempts by the PCs to write their own.

Oh really? so basically allowing the players to beat NPCs who are at least twice their match is a bad thing? The vahki are ther for a reason, and their powers are there for a reason: to keep PCs from going there. You're free to write your own stories, but the coliseum is defended so much that it would literally require an entire faction to attack to conquer.

To further that point, as the GM, you're not writing an epic. You're building a world, and seeing what happens. You guide it along, have some events that will happen in due time, and watch the magic. Let the players try to do it. If they're smart enough to break in, and managed to do everything correctly, you shouldn't stop them just for the sake of your story.

And this is why I have a relatively free plot. I don't get why you're trying to say that I'm a tyrannical Gm just because I make one location off limits for plot reasons.

Which is why I will be trying to break in. And you can't punish somebody just for doing something that upsets you - they're not breaking a rule.

I would simply Rp the logical consequences. it's like if an unarmed matoran decided to make friends with a group of visorak: he'd get butchered, because anything else would be autododging.

If case you didn't read - I stated very clearly I was pointing out breaks in canon.

...you are expressing a problem with part of my RPg, I will therefore answer it.

Yes, I would. Maybe a few races that are well known, like the Makuta. Just two or three. When they go up for approval, thenstate the problem.

So basically cause players more hassle when a line or two of text effectively cuts out that problem? I don't think so.

Again - it's what the canon says. And again, I was pointing out errors in the canon.As it states very clearly, all of the Rahi on Mata-Nui came up from Metru-Nui, then migrated back down when the Bohrok destroyed it. What, you thought they sprung up with the plants?

Plants and animals both have souls, therefore I see nothing illogical with that theory.

Or perhaps living for thousands of years and working up a resistance to it.

I would only allow a partial resistance in that case

Seriously, how could you be the same guy that GMed War Zone, Round Two, a.k.a. an RPG with less rules than I have heads?I didn't like War Zone either, though.

I spent all my time resisting the temptation to wipe out every single PC faction. Enough said.

They didn't, actually. While I wouldn't consider it outlandish for beings to the south to know of him (his race?). Or even those who read of him in the Great Temple... before Vakama destroyed all of the information contained within. Only the Rahaga had any clue of who he was.

Since when did he ruin everything in it?

Please tell my you're joking. It you are, then haha. If not... because I killed one NPC? Because I'm playing as a Brotherhood spy, killing off somebody trying to spread hope amongst my enemies? Because I'm roleplaying in an RPG?

You would either have to kill keetongu, if he exists, or mindwipe everyone, considering the rumor is largely spread.