RPG Forum Contest 23 Reviews

[Lara White]

Let me just say that Zehvor knows what he's talking about. If a player either manages to conquer or, more likely, sneak into the Coliseum, you shouldn't punish him for that. You could punish him for trying to take on super-powered Vahki head-on, but not if he has backup or if he's a very smart fighter (ex: if he's a Toa of Lightning, a large group of Vahki are not going to be hard. Don't ban Lightning Toa because of that, please), then he should, by all rights, be allowed to get inside.As for the War Zone thing...if a GM wants to wipe out all of the player factions in a game that heavily relies on player-created content...then that is not someone I want GMing my game.

[Shyyrn]

If he doesn't want people to go into the Coliseum, is it honestly too much to ask that people don't go in??The point of an RPG isn't to WIN, it's to tell a story. And if you don't allow for proper timing, the story won't be told properly.-Shyyrn

Edited March 19, 2012 by Shyyrn

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

Replies in cyan. I think.

Draining energy and releasing it in an energy blast is Kraahli, not Vahki.In any case, if they have non-standard powers, state, "Vahki of unusual powers, that have proven a match even for Toa".

I stated that the vahki had powers that far outclassed a toa's.Under the assumption we know that they're not normal Vahki powers. You could just as easily be saying you believe normal Vahki powers beat Toa powers.

And in any case, what you're describing is one of the worst things a GM can do. If players want to try doing something, you're not supposed to just whip up a bunch of powers so they can't do anything. While you may think it's just your way of keeping the story going along your time, it's actually blocking out attempts by the PCs to write their own.

Oh really? so basically allowing the players to beat NPCs who are at least twice their match is a bad thing? The vahki are ther for a reason, and their powers are there for a reason: to keep PCs from going there. You're free to write your own stories, but the coliseum is defended so much that it would literally require an entire faction to attack to conquer.From the front. Peel it away with your elemental powers. Go from underneath. Start the power plant and blow it up. Go from above.Heck, Vahki need power. Sneak in, mess up with those, and bam. Next Vahki to recharge has its CPU fried, and is gone forever.

To further that point, as the GM, you're not writing an epic. You're building a world, and seeing what happens. You guide it along, have some events that will happen in due time, and watch the magic. Let the players try to do it. If they're smart enough to break in, and managed to do everything correctly, you shouldn't stop them just for the sake of your story.

And this is why I have a relatively free plot. I don't get why you're trying to say that I'm a tyrannical Gm just because I make one location off limits for plot reason.I'm merely making my point. In any case, no, locations shouldn't be off limits. If you want to make a location off limits, don't staff it with monsters, give it environmental effects or something. Don't make it out as a challenge - make it out as a place you don't want to go to.Filling the Coliseum with Vahki just makes me want to go in more.

Which is why I will be trying to break in. And you can't punish somebody just for doing something that upsets you - they're not breaking a rule.

I would simply Rp the logical consequences. it's like if an unarmed matoran decided to make friends with a group of visorak: he'd get butchered, because anything else would be autododging.That Matoran isn't using his brain. I, however, would be.

If case you didn't read - I stated very clearly I was pointing out breaks in canon.

...you are expressing a problem with part of my RPg, I will therefore answer it.

Yes, I would. Maybe a few races that are well known, like the Makuta. Just two or three. When they go up for approval, thenstate the problem.

So basically cause players more hassle when a line or two of text effectively cuts out that problem? I don't think so.Because it makes the RPG seem less fluid, that's why. We're reading about the world, and then we get this list of what not to do. It's not avoiding a hassle later, because most players are wise enough to know what's too powerful.I do mean most, though.

Again - it's what the canon says. And again, I was pointing out errors in the canon.As it states very clearly, all of the Rahi on Mata-Nui came up from Metru-Nui, then migrated back down when the Bohrok destroyed it. What, you thought they sprung up with the plants?

Plants and animals both have souls, therefore I see nothing illogical with that theory.I can't really have a debate with you on that here, even if I disagree. But in any event, they didn't - the Rahi moved up. Heck, the Ash Bear the Toa Metru help heal in the archives is the same one Lewa Nuva later befriends - Grahlok, the one from MoL.

Or perhaps living for thousands of years and working up a resistance to it.

I would only allow a partial resistance in that caseEighty. Thousand. Years. Monks in the real world make themselves resistant to pain (if not injury) in their short life span. In eighty thousand years, you could work up immunity to mind control.

Seriously, how could you be the same guy that GMed War Zone, Round Two, a.k.a. an RPG with less rules than I have heads?I didn't like War Zone either, though.

I spent all my time resisting the temptation to wipe out every single PC faction. Enough said.Terrible GMing. Player created factions are always more fun.

They didn't, actually. While I wouldn't consider it outlandish for beings to the south to know of him (his race?). Or even those who read of him in the Great Temple... before Vakama destroyed all of the information contained within. Only the Rahaga had any clue of who he was.

Since when did he ruin everything in it?Perhaps I made an error, but if I recall the story correctly, he burnt it down during Web of Shadows. And even if he didn't, he blew a good deal of it up from the inside while fighting Sentrahk in Time Trap.

Please tell my you're joking. It you are, then haha. If not... because I killed one NPC? Because I'm playing as a Brotherhood spy, killing off somebody trying to spread hope amongst my enemies? Because I'm roleplaying in an RPG?

You would either have to kill keetongu, if he exists, or mindwipe everyone, considering the rumor is largely spread.Find the guy who started the rumors. Interrogate him about where he learned the information. Finish him off so he can't say anything else. Possibly locate Keetongu. Then try to kill him, after organizing a strike force of Brotherhood members.

If he doesn't want people to go into the Coliseum, is it honestly too much to ask that people don't go in??The point of an RPG isn't to WIN, it's to tell a story. And if you don't allow for proper timing, the story won't be told properly.Yes, it is too much to ask. It's an RPG. Role-playing game. If we want to go in, we shouldn't be told we can't go in. If we can make our way in without getting killed, and figure out what's going on inside, then let us.If anything, change it from 'don't go in until I let the dragon out' to 'try to get inside and stop the dragon before I let him out'.There is one thing you're right about - it's telling a story. And the players are part of it. If anything, they're the main characters of the story, though Zarayna apparently disagrees with that (I for one am still on the 'PCs are the stars - deal with it' wagon. They may not be the best, but they're the ones that are making a difference.). If you try to restrict players from modifying the story, you shouldn't be making RPGs. You should be writing epics.-Shyyrn

-Toa Levacius Zehvor Edited March 19, 2012 by Toa Levacius Zehvor

[Shyyrn]

You drive a hard line, Levacius. X) And yes, I do prefer making epics to RPGs, so I will cede the point to you on that.I guess someone will just have to stop you in-game... or try to; odds are you won't die easily.-Shyyrn

[Parugi]

If he doesn't want people to go into the Coliseum, is it honestly too much to ask that people don't go in??The point of an RPG isn't to WIN, it's to tell a story. And if you don't allow for proper timing, the story won't be told properly.-Shyyrn

And part of being a GM is learning to adapt to what the players do, regardless of whether you want them to do it or not. There are a large number of things that happened in Day Run that drastically changed what I had originally planned--for instance, a rather important NPC was killed and the artifact that he was attempting to recover for the Ring ended up falling into a player's hands, while another was incapacitated to such an extent that he ended up as the core of one of the most dangerous Constructs in the RPG. Neither was something that I had originally planned or even wanted to happen, but they ended up happening anyway.The only reasonable course of action that one can take in that kind of circumstance is to go along with it and work it into what you have planned--not back-track and punish people for their actions. If a GM can't manage with those kinds of complications, then I have to question their ability as a moderator. Edited March 19, 2012 by Parugi

[Shyyrn]

I suppose I understand now. :/ I guess it's unreasonable of me to want to restrict free creative thought for the sake of upholding a single possible storyline...I guess I will just have to do my best to hold my own in the coming games, and not see my vision steamrolled by others who are more assertive and confrontational.-Shyyrn

Edited March 19, 2012 by Shyyrn

[otter]

I suppose I understand now. :/ I guess it's unreasonable of me to want to restrict free creative thought for the sake of upholding a single possible storyline...I guess I will just have to do my best to hold my own in the coming games, and not see my vision steamrolled by others who are more assertive and confrontational.-Shyyrn

That's what I'm going to have to do too, Shyyrn. :PBy the way, you need to re-do Mahri Nui Cable Network. I never saw what happened to Grochi in that. /offtopicBut yeah, GM's definitely have to be able to work with what the players do-not have the GM's control the players. You can't control natural human behaviour-we're all born to explore. Obviously we're going to forego restrictions and find out what we want to do.

[Grantaire]

Let me just say that Zehvor knows what he's talking about. If a player either manages to conquer or, more likely, sneak into the Coliseum, you shouldn't punish him for that. You could punish him for trying to take on super-powered Vahki head-on, but not if he has backup or if he's a very smart fighter (ex: if he's a Toa of Lightning, a large group of Vahki are not going to be hard. Don't ban Lightning Toa because of that, please), then he should, by all rights, be allowed to get inside.

It is possible for those things to happen, but incredibly difficult, more difficult than sneaking into the Great Temple. And a toa of lightning would own a normal vahki. I restate the obvious: these are not normal vahki.

As for the War Zone thing...if a GM wants to wipe out all of the player factions in a game that heavily relies on player-created content...then that is not someone I want GMing my game.

...I dare you to GM WZ in its second season. You'd get why I felt like that, fast. Perhaps the fact that nuking would have generally ruined the game is why I didn't do it perhaps?

Under the assumption we know that they're not normal Vahki powers. You could just as easily be saying you believe normal Vahki powers beat Toa powers.

The description lends itself to only the not normal vahki part.

From the front. Peel it away with your elemental powers. Go from underneath. Start the power plant and blow it up. Go from above.Heck, Vahki need power. Sneak in, mess up with those, and bam. Next Vahki to recharge has its CPU fried, and is gone forever.

Let's just put it this way. 1) It's possible, not feasible. There's a slight chance, if you manage to play your cards right. But even if you got inside, you'd have no idea where the vahki charging center is, and how many guards are inside. Aka, there's a one in a thousand chance of suceeding on your own, hence my statement: it's pretty much suicide.2) All toa are currently trying to survive a brotherhood invasion. They're not slightly concerned about trying to launch an invasion on one of the most well defended locations in metru nui.3) These Vahki are not simply post cataclysm vahki. Who they were made by, and why they were made has yet to be revealed. I do not intend, and will not, reveal it here.

I'm merely making my point. In any case, no, locations shouldn't be off limits. If you want to make a location off limits, don't staff it with monsters, give it environmental effects or something. Don't make it out as a challenge - make it out as a place you don't want to go to.

And several hundred vahki with power that far outclasses that of a toa's does not work? I think not. Besides, en enviromental factor would not work in well.

Because it makes the RPG seem less fluid, that's why. We're reading about the world, and then we get this list of what not to do. It's not avoiding a hassle later, because most players are wise enough to know what's too powerful.I do mean most, though.

I find griping over two lines of text to be, honestly, rather pointless. it does not make the RPG chunky.

Eighty. Thousand. Years. Monks in the real world make themselves resistant to pain (if not injury) in their short life span. In eighty thousand years, you could work up immunity to mind control.

The difference? One is matter, the other is purely spiritual. And ftr, if you made your character completely resistant to pain along those lines, I would nix it as well.

Terrible GMing. Player created factions are always more fun.

Not when one fourth are noobish, and the biggest one, and the main opposition was inactive. Nonetheless, before you attempt to pass assuming judgement, I would like to see your reaction on GMing that piece of junk.

Perhaps I made an error, but if I recall the story correctly, he burnt it down during Web of Shadows. And even if he didn't, he blew a good deal of it up from the inside while fighting Sentrahk in Time Trap.

very well.

Find the guy who started the rumors. Interrogate him about where he learned the information. Finish him off so he can't say anything else. Possibly locate Keetongu. Then try to kill him, after organizing a strike force of Brotherhood members.

You said you would wipe out the rumor in one post. That's not wiping out a rumor in one post.

And part of being a GM is learning to adapt to what the players do, regardless of whether you want them to do it or not. There are a large number of things that happened in Day Run that drastically changed what I had originally planned--for instance, a rather important NPC was killed and the artifact that he was attempting to recover for the Ring ended up falling into a player's hands, while another was incapacitated to such an extent that he ended up as the core of one of the most dangerous Constructs in the RPG. Neither was something that I had originally planned or even wanted to happen, but they ended up happening anyway.The only reasonable course of action that one can take in that kind of circumstance is to go along with it and work it into what you have planned--notback-track and punish people for their actions. If a GM can't manage with those kinds of complications, then I have to question their ability as a moderator.

I agree with this. However, one thing I do not agree with is a complete sandbox, where the GM has next to no power. But overall, Lev, I think you are making a blown up deal over the entire Coliseum. I stated pretty clearly it was too well defended to feasibly invade. The settlers realized this. And I direct you to FT's 'bases are hard nuts to crack'. The only difference is, this base is far more well defended than a normal one. Heck, it's more well defended than the Great Temple is now. If you look at various RPGs, you will always notice that there are locations that are strictly off limits to PCs for whatever reasons. This game is no exception.

[Lara White]

He said he would wipe out the rumour-maker in one post. ;)Complete sandbox =/= no GM power. It merely means that there is no set storyline.If War Zone was inactive, you need to either A: get in contact with the primary players and ask them to post again or B: shut it down (this is obviously the more drastic step). Although I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who hated War Zone.

[Grantaire]

He said the rumor, not the rumor maker, here.WZ wasn't inactive, one PC faction was. The person who ran it was pretty busy. And yes, that was a major factor as to why I shut it down.As to the vahki: I am tired of fighting about this. It's getting to the verge between fighting and debating.

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

I stated the rumor mill, and narrowed it down to one face for ease.Though if you would like me to take the first month of the RPG grabbing random NPCs and grinding their faces in, I'd be more than happy to oblige. Every kidnapping will be more creative than the first, so you can't call God-modding on it. Heck, maybe I'll turn invisible and use sonic powers to silence the area as I whisk one of the Turaga away. Or maybe Eyorak... I'd need a two man team for that. Ice or lightning would do for the secondary. Or even psionics. Yes, psionics. That's the ticket.

If War Zone was inactive, you need to either A: get in contact with the primary players and ask them to post again or B: shut it down (this is obviously the more drastic step). Although I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who hated War Zone.

I hated it from the start. If the RPG is smaller than a minimal comedy chapter, it doesn't deserve to get past the preliminaries. Let alone win the finals with over 40 votes given to it. As per GMing it, that was your choice, not something forced upon you. If you didn't like it that way, you could have changed it. Introduce something new to the mix. Deal out punishments more often. Whatever it takes.Anyways, continuing...My point is, cutting out mental barriers is ridiculous. Especially weakened ones that give resistance to effects like mind control only - which wouldn't have much use considering players aren't allowed to have a Komau. Frankly, I think it's just your way of making sure you can do mind reading and stuff in a fight, because you're too lazy to come up with ways around that for something.Back to the coliseum - this isn't a fight. This is a point being made, and you're not listening to it. The point is, if somebodies really going to try, they're going to succeed. And making it impossible to do so just because you don't want a change in your storyline doesn't work.Here's a basic rundown of an extremely basic plan, involving the following -Rahkshi of Shapeshifting, Level 5.Rahkshi of Illusion, Level 5.Rahkshi of Density Control, Level 5.Rahkshi of Teleportation, Level 5.That's four members. Now, get this. These Rahkshi aren't from Tridax. They were created by Teridax to keep an eye of the war below while he was in the Mangaia. Previously, there were two others, but they (Disintegration and Rahi Control) were killed off in separate incidents somewhere along the line. Because the player(s) decided to be creative with their characters. Or, alternatively, if you don't like that, they were made by Tridax, with the objective to find out what's inside the Coliseum. After all, he can, as you state in your first post, 'always get more allies'. If they can weaken its current defenses, then when the time comes, he can secure it, and the cities best defensible location, thus ensuring victory.The illusion Rakhshi goes out first, near the gate. Staying hidden the whole time, it conjures up a small horde of illusory Visorak to scuttle up the walls of the Coliseum. Now, let's give this one to you - the Vahki ignore the illusions, as they aren't fooled by them. Which would be a new power in and of itself, as they were fooled by Mataus mask in the canon.So with that a fluke, they camp outside. The shapeshifting Rakhshi transforms itself into a Vahki. During the night, the Density Control Rahkshi causes the outer barrier of the Coliseum, in one of the Cataclysm damaged areas, to become little more than mist. The shapeshifted Rahkshi, appearing as a Vahki, moves in and begins searching the area.And so it begins. And that's just with Rahkshi. Not Toa using mask and elemental powers.That's my final word on that issue. Deny it, don't deny it. The truth is the truth.Anyways, your post of 'off-limits for some reason' is untrue. Island of Pain, for one, never had anywhere you couldn't go to. TPTI put up guards, and had things happening between closed lines. There were consequences for ignoring the Shepherds orders, true... but that didn't stop anyone from going wherever they wanted. Heck, it just meant 'let's go where we normally wouldn't have, because something cools going on there'.Horde out of Limbo. We're not restricted from going outside (the only other area) by anything other than an army. And we've been thinking up ways of how to sneak past them.I had one area 'off-limit' in my RPG, and when I posted it up last contest, I had a player propose a way around it. And I said yes. Why? Because 'off-limit' areas don't belong. 'Interesting, dangerous area that could prove deadly' belongs. But not 'enter and die'.-Toa Levacius Zehvor

[shadow pridak money gang]

Speaking as a potential Co-GM to City of the Dead, I'm going to have to agree with Levacius on this one.Sorry, Zar: if it inspires the players to get creative, I'm all for it.-Teezy

[Shyyrn]

I've exchanged PMs with Zarayna, and he says he's working on a way to improve the Vahki/the Coliseum... so rest assured, he is taking your advice into account!-Shyyrn

[Evex_Wolfwing]

This one has returned for another review. This time, for The Lorax (who may or may not speak for the trees)Gonna try something different, and not paste the whole RPG into the post. Hopefully save some time and space.

Intro is well written, get my attention. Again, I'm biased, as Skakdi are my favorite Species in Bionicle. This would be a great opportunity for players to explore the backgrounds of their Skakdi characters, and I admit, it wouldn't hurt for me to flesh out Torhak a bit...

Ah, alternate history. Gives the player more room to work. What's this, a government that actually cares about the people!? I also see the usual group of ruffians, and... Oh, the BoM, excellent. Time for some Rahkshi also. Finally, just a fancy name for neutral characters.

It amuses me just how much of a fail Spirah is.

AND TIMELINE! FANTASTIC! So, day one, day two, day three... You know, somewhere in this RP, Reidak is going to have to break a city. I demand it. Also, a cure, so something to look for... or break.

Detailed map and locations. I like how much work you put into it. Though, I feel the prefixes could be more original, as currently it is just modified Matoran.

Details on society and such. I already know everything about the Skakdi's powers, but I know that isn't the case for everyone.

Profile is a bit long, but works.

Malok, Malok... why is that name so familiar...? Nektann is also a familiar name... Spirah is still a FAIL, and a Toa Hagah...

OOH, we can play as a Toa Hagah? That's neat.

Rulesrulesruels...

Finished off with a dictionary.

Overall, I love Skakdi, so this has my interest. It is all thought out, and quite an interesting world. I think I would like playing this, if I get the time and chance...You have my vote, Good Sir.

[The Lorax]

Thanks for the review, Evex. Its great to have some feedback to improve with. I'll answer your points in the order they were made.This one has returned for another review. This time, for The Lorax (who may or may not speak for the trees)This Lorax definitely speaks for the trees. The only reason that it dropped out of my sig was to make room for the new banner. A Lorax who does not speak for the trees is worse than an unteachable Sneech.Gonna try something different, and not paste the whole RPG into the post. Hopefully save some time and space.

Intro is well written, get my attention. Again, I'm biased, as Skakdi are my favorite Species in Bionicle. This would be a great opportunity for players to explore the backgrounds of their Skakdi characters, and I admit, it wouldn't hurt for me to flesh out Torhak a bit...

Yeah, aren't Skakdi great? I don't think we're alone in that. A while ago in S&T, there was a topic asking members what characters they thought could do with more screen time. Over and over again, the responses came back: saying things like 'The piraka', 'Zaktan was awesome', 'Best villains ever!' and "Makuta Karda were killed off too quick". That was one of the things that made me want to write this RPG.

Ah, alternate history. Gives the player more room to work. What's this, a government that actually cares about the people!? I also see the usual group of ruffians, and... Oh, the BoM, excellent. Time for some Rahkshi also. Finally, just a fancy name for neutral characters.

The alternative history was partly an accident. I wrote most of this RPG back in late December and January, when BS01 was almost completely down, so I had to rely on other, less comprehensive/accurate sources. Thus, I missed a lot of info on Zakaz being more like Metru Nui than Mata Nui , Reidak breaking islands and the like.

It amuses me just how much of a fail Spirah is.

I took most of his bio straight from BS01, so you can thank them for that one. I've been thinking about how to write a scene where he is banished from the brotherhood. A convocation... Teridax's speech... and how to be sufficiently scathing without running into the word filter.However, for all his fail, he is still a Makuta. Disgraced, perhaps; a victim of jealousy and prejudice, most definitely, but still a Makuta. When he shows up on Zakaz, the whole island will be shaken.

AND TIMELINE! FANTASTIC! So, day one, day two, day three... You know, somewhere in this RP, Reidak is going to have to break a city. I demand it. Also, a cure, so something to look for... or break.

As I mentioned above, I didn't have that bit of info when writing the RPG or making the map, so the island he broke isn't on the map. Maybe I'll have him rampage through Atia instead.

Detailed map and locations. I like how much work you put into it. Though, I feel the prefixes could be more original, as currently it is just modified Matoran.

I was sorta going for "modified Matoran" because the Skakdi language is just a variant of the same programming language used throughout the MU. Theirs is just adapted for their specific function. Why write a whole new code when changing the main one will do? That was my thinking, but if you don't like it, it might change.

Details on society and such. I already know everything about the Skakdi's powers, but I know that isn't the case for everyone.

Profile is a bit long, but works.

Malok, Malok... why is that name so familiar...? Nektann is also a familiar name... Spirah is still a FAIL, and a Toa Hagah...

I don't know where you got Malok from. I've used that name before for a Skakdi character in IoP, but as far as I know it doesn't come up in canon.

OOH, we can play as a Toa Hagah? That's neat.

That was one of the things I put in to get asome more diverse stories going. Not that playing as a Skakdi won't be exciting, but an extra option doesn't hurt.Get in quick. I can see a lot of people wanting those spots.

Rulesrulesruels...

Finished off with a dictionary.

Overall, I love Skakdi, so this has my interest. It is all thought out, and quite an interesting world. I think I would like playing this, if I get the time and chance...You have my vote, Good Sir.

[Grantaire]

Actually, the only thing I said was what I'd already said before. That the vahki were more powerful for another reason, not like the canon. Nonetheless, if you guys will take the time to read the revised RPG I finished editing earlier, you'll notice I changed it to next to impossible. I honestly don't see the problem with having a single area off limits at the start of the game, but w/e.

[shadow pridak money gang]

The problem is that if you try and challenge players like that, they'll generally do it. Besides, it's a game: it's all about challenging the people who play your game to do something new and creative, to alter the game. Let me give you an example.In Gangs of Metru Nui (RIP) Jasik was randomly sent out to investigate a disturbance in the Old Nokama Hospital, and he encountered about half a dozen gang members (who happened to be in possession of the Makuta Stone) who, naturally, attacked him on sight. The resulting battle resulted in the destruction of the hospital, the lockdown of the entire Fort, and Jasik's removal for the rest of the game due to the sheer amount of injuries he sustained during the game.And that was just one character's actions.I'm not saying that you have to allow anyone and everyone easy access to the Coliseum. But to just flat out say "you can't go in" is unnecessary, and eventually, players are going to find a way in anyway.-Teezy

Edited March 20, 2012 by Tyler Durden

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

And if I can't find a way in, nothings getting out. Just saying. Not. One. Vahki.-Toa Levacius Zehvor

[Grantaire]

Lev: the vahki don't intend to go out. and if you want some knowledge of their powers, just think of the powers of the elements, the kanohi, Kraata powers, and suchlike. They'll have quite a variety. BTW, I did completely rewrite it, thoughts?Spawn: Very well, I will concede one of two points: it is a deal, and therefore my latest edit has removed the off limits part. However, I will not concede my position that it is not a massive deal

[Shyyrn]

And if I can't find a way in, nothings getting out. Just saying. Not. One. Vahki.-Toa Levacius Zehvor

You can be quite belligerent sometimes, Levacius. :PWell, I hope a consensus can be reached: the Coliseum is not off-limits, but Zarayna is entirely within his powers to throw hard stuff at you if/when a player tries to enter. Perhaps this can finally end the argument?Respectfully,Shyyrn

[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

Anything unnecessarily restricting is a problem.Let's see... perhaps a few with Rode or Elda powers, but not many. Which means invisibility and sonics is still a go. :POr even a mask of intangibility.Changed the character creation. I like that better. Still think the no mental block rule is.... word filters.In any case, the only problem I really have with your current part is your underestimation of a veteran Toa. But I guess it will have to do. :-Toa Levacius Zehvor

[Grantaire]

It's not unnecessarily restricting, it's just restricting. Restriction, in of itself is good.As for the veteran toa part, I will just sum it up like this: a veteran toa has a weapon or two of varying type, a kanohi mask, and an elemental power. He is skilled with all of them, and also has a great deal of experience and knowledge. It's not underestimation to say that these vahki have more power and skill, because they do. I'm not going to give detailed descriptions out, although I will make them in private, so I'll just leave you with that one statement.I will be writing up detailed descriptions of the vahki and the coliseum defenses, because I know half the RPers are going to try to get in.EDIT: BTW, something i found on biosector01's Boggarak page.

Sometime after the disbanding of the horde by Vakama, the Brotherhood managed to partially reform the species together during the Dark Hunter/Brotherhood of Makuta War. At one point, the Brotherhood even used the reformed Visorak army to invade a Brotherhood fortress controlled by the Dark Hunters. Some of the Visorak used included Boggarak, who climbed the walls and used their spinners to reduce several defending Dark Hunters to dust.

This is during the Makuta/DH war. Edited March 20, 2012 by Zarayna: The Quiet Light

[Toa of Dancing]

Madness Meter addition to The Horde out of Limbo: Alright, so will this be arbitrary, as I suggested? Also, could I have a designated healer toa of psionics, would s/he have to heal within the Bastion, or is the element to be banned?

[Lara White]

Fairly arbitrary, although I suppose I should add a baseline for each type. Derp. Yes, a Psionics healer is perfectly acceptable.

[Toa of Dancing]

Alright, that looks good now. =3 And would that toa be immune to the effects of the madness?

Edited March 23, 2012 by Toa of Dancing

[Lara White]

A psionics Toa would likely be about as vulnerable to those effects unless s/he made the mistake of trying to pry into a monster's mind. Then I think I'd start using multiplication or squares to calculate SAN loss.

[Toa of Dancing]

But s/he could heal others, not herself?

[Lara White]

Yes.

[Kal the Guardian]

But if s/he is slightly insane (as in she has reached 25%, 50%, or 75%), will trying to heal someone just end up making it worse?

[Lara White]

Most likely not.Be advised: I've already received a profile or two for character with pre-existing insanity (in one case, schizophrenia). Please be aware that per-existing insanity will affect the meter. My character starts at 45%.

[Toa Kovolta]

A few things though. When you say "No giving yourself super powerful Kanohi", which ones do you condider overpowered? The legendary ones obviously, but it would be good to specify. What some people think is reasonable will be out of another's league. Just a minor detail there.

See the fifth paragraph in this post and the following posts.Otherwise Thanks for the review!

Nothing really to point out here, except that Stasis seems like a rather non punishing punishment. Nothing wrong with it, but it seems like it would not really help reform lawbreakers as much as give them a sense of being an anachronism and feeling out of date when they get out.

Where do you see stasis as a punishement?Thanks for the review.Now onto some reviews of my own!Review of "Dreamland: Awakening" by Kal the GaurdianNot much had changed, so I'll just comment on a few of the things that have.I love the new intro, it's quite intriguing and seems to be quite well written. The end of the story section is a little odd, with the short points on what has happened since the rpg started. I admit it does add to the mystery theme of the rpg, but it think maybe you could add just a little bit more description and explanation in this area for those who didn't play it in season one. The new locations are very well described though.Good luck in the contest!Review of "Transformation" by The LoraxI have to say, this is surprisingly better than I was expecting. I really like the idea of going to the roots of the Skakdi Civil war and presenting reasons as to their appearance and powers! Your location descriptions are also very detailed and well done. It's interesting getting a glimpse at what Zakaz may have been like before it was ravaged by war and just became a barren island.Good luck in the contest! Edited March 24, 2012 by Toa Kovolta

[BBBBalta]

One relatively minor thing I noticed while reading The Horde Out of Limbo - you may want to add the Rode to the list of masks that aren't allowed, as a Rode user would be able to instantly detect whether someone's been infected by an Abd Al-Azrad.

[Toa Kovolta]

Review of "Kirse: City of the Great Beings" by ZomaThe concept of this RPG is quite interesting, it really takes "faction battle" to the extreme. The setting is great and the idea of the Matoran, Toa, etc. just being machines is also very interesting, especially when you add the merging aspect.The factions which seem to be the one of the core concepts of the rpg are very well put together and compliment each other nicely. The map is another unique and interesting aspect, how it is made up of squares almost like a game board, and the location descriptions fit the factions well. I also really like the writing of the "Inhabitants" section - quite witty I must say.One thing I must say though, is that you mention puzzles and mental challenges being a key part of the game, but you don't say what kind. Things like riddles that have to be answered to enter certain rooms? Or just things like trying to figure out what are the best resources to want to control and stuff?Good Luck in the contest!

Edited March 25, 2012 by Toa Kovolta

[The Dark Chronicler]

Review of "Kirse: City of the Great Beings" by ZomaThe concept of this RPG is quite interesting, it really takes "faction battle" to the extreme. The setting is great and the idea of the Matoran, Toa, etc. just being machines is also very interesting, especially when you add the merging aspect.The factions which seem to be the one of the core concepts of the rpg are very well put together and compliment each other nicely. The map is another unique and interesting aspect, how it is made up of squares almost like a game board, and the location descriptions fit the factions well. I also really like the writing of the "Inhabitants" section - quite witty I must say.One thing I must say though, is that you mention puzzles and mental challenges being a key part of the game, but you don't say what kind. Things like riddles that have to be answered to enter certain rooms? Or just things like trying to figure out what are the best resources to want to control and stuff?Good Luck in the contest!

Thank you, I was trying for something where the actions of the players have a major impact on not just the ending of the story, but what leads up to the ending and how the ending plays out. What factions survive and are destroyed will lead to very different endings. I was hoping for something unique with the concept of merging with the machines, and I'm glad you found it interesting.Indeed, the factions play a important part of the story, and are the thing I work the hardest on creating. I wanted them all to be somewhat similar, but each one to stand out as it's own too. They all have the same overall goal, but they go about it in very different ways. The map was inspired by playing The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening, which had a somewhat similar map style. I was not certain about the locations myself, but I am glad that you liked them. I had fun with the Inhabitants section, and I had to stop myself from writing information for every sentient species throughout the Bionicle story, from Airwatcher's species to Vengeance's species. But I stopped myself before it got cluttered up with too many species.I suppose I should have specified, yes. They will be riddles and clues to rooms, uncovering and having to decipher stolen messages that may tell of upcoming attacks and give the ability to ruin the offense before it happens. And the main mental challenge of all... discovering the secrets held by the surviving Great Beings and what they may have planned...Thanks for the review, and good luck to you too! Edited March 25, 2012 by Zoma