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The Kanohi Force

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What do you guys think of the KFforums?

 

I changed them for today.

I like it! :D Speaking of which, any idea what the Staffers did to BZP today? I haven't seen anything yet.

Their joke is that they fooled us into thinking there would be a joke.

 

Darn it.

 

Back on your thing:

 

"Everything's Petewa!

Eveything is cool in his time machine!

Everything's Petewa!

In his psychotic dreams!"

:P

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~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

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What do you guys think of the KFforums?

 

I changed them for today.

I like it! :D Speaking of which, any idea what the Staffers did to BZP today? I haven't seen anything yet.

Their joke is that they fooled us into thinking there would be a joke.

Darn it.

 

Back on your thing:

 

"Everything's Petewa!

Eveything is cool in his time machine!

Everything's Petewa!

In his psychotic dreams!"

:P

Perhaps "Petewa FaRce" would've been more accurate.

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T1S, would you mind posting "The Kazoohi Force" albeit replacing the questionable word with "haughts"?

*sweeps coat trail around in a dramatic bow* Ask and have answered.

 

The Kazoohi Force

By Petewa

As Petewa sat about bored, an idea hit him in the head, and he groaned from the pain of the impact, it was at this point that he remembered something from long ago, September Fourteenth of Two-Thousand and Fifteen, to be exact. He was supposed to have written a chapter of the Kanohi Force Comedy, one related to the thirty second dimension, and although he had left the Kanohi Force, he had honour to uphold...and felt bad that he'd forgotten the aforementioned chapter which you now read. So, he, off of the top of his head, walked up to T1S and spat out a mouthful of storytelling nonsense bested only by the majority of people you'll ever see. Lo and behold, without further ado, here is the tale as it was told;

 

A month or so ago, 'fore all 'came sour,

All t'were assembled at the tow'r,

Enjoying themselves when they heard a CLANG,

The portal at hand appeared with a BANG!

"Hello, dear fools,"

"These are our tools,"

"The Kazoohi Force be we,"

"Representatives, we three,"

"Step forth, all ye haughts,"

"Introduce to us, all ye lots,"

"And we'll play thee a tune,"

The rhyming was then interrupted by Tahu, who identified himself as this dimension's equivalent of the singing man.

"Oh...well, then this is awkward," Tahu32.0 said in reference to the insulting of himself.

"Uh, sorry for that, he's a bit...wierd," The 32nd Shadow said to the Force as a whole.

The Kazoohi Force then held a concert, and forgot how to get back to their home dimension, and Petewa refused to take them, seeing as his Tardis didn't have a door quite big enough to house the Kazoohi Force's sleigh. And so, the Kazoohi Force stayed in the tower for a while, and after many a months, the sound of Kazoos nonstop grew annoying to some of the members of the Kanohi Force, who then plucked out their ears before jumping out of the tower's windows.

 

And they all lived Kazoopilly Ever After, The End.

Edited by The 1st Shadow
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~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

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~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to

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Oh, I always thought it was the Kahoozi force. Like, just random guys that made even less sense than the regular version. I guess Kazoohi makes more sense.

Nah, it was a play on kazoo, as I made a random video of me playing one, and I think Petewa decided we should have an alternate reality where the Fore was somehow related to the little plastic instrument.


~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

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~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to

NickonAquaMagna~

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Oh, I always thought it was the Kahoozi force. Like, just random guys that made even less sense than the regular version. I guess Kazoohi makes more sense.

Nah, it was a play on kazoo, as I made a random video of me playing one, and I think Petewa decided we should have an alternate reality where the Fore was somehow related to the little plastic instrument.

Actually, you and the leedurz of the time decided that and then told me to write a chapter about it in September.

I never saw the Kazoo video, so it couldn't've been my idea.

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Oh, I always thought it was the Kahoozi force. Like, just random guys that made even less sense than the regular version. I guess Kazoohi makes more sense.

Nah, it was a play on kazoo, as I made a random video of me playing one, and I think Petewa decided we should have an alternate reality where the Fore was somehow related to the little plastic instrument.

Actually, you and the leedurz of the time decided that and then told me to write a chapter about it in September.

I never saw the Kazoo video, so it couldn't've been my idea.

 

Really? I guess you could be right.


~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

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~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to

NickonAquaMagna~

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Oh, I always thought it was the Kahoozi force. Like, just random guys that made even less sense than the regular version. I guess Kazoohi makes more sense.

Nah, it was a play on kazoo, as I made a random video of me playing one, and I think Petewa decided we should have an alternate reality where the Fore was somehow related to the little plastic instrument.

Actually, you and the leedurz of the time decided that and then told me to write a chapter about it in September.

I never saw the Kazoo video, so it couldn't've been my idea.

Really? I guess you could be right.

Yeah, I digged through my PMs, and that's what happened.

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AN: This is just the introduction to a potential future chapter that Berry's planning on writing. Hence the short length.

 

Shadow had many jobs. He was the Leedur of the Force (sometimes jokingly called the “Supream Leedur”,) he was an inventor, a secret agent, a master of pie, and now he became BZ-Nui's first small claims judge.

Today was the day of his first case. “Benyamin “Icarus” Soto vs. Toa Ouberry.” The problem? The plantiff claimed Berry had, quote, “defenestrated right into my face and caused mass injury to my potential mustache.” Berry had gone on record saying that the cause of his defenestration was, quote, “because windows suck.”

Shadow pondered this case as he walked into his courtroom for the first time. It was rather small, considering that it was just a spare office that Black Six had found in the Coliseum and had decided to give to Shadow instead of turning it into a “Farshtey quotation retrieval chamber” like Fishers had wanted. There was a desk and a chair for Shadow to sit at (alongside a small laptop and a gavel) and two chairs in front of it, where Icarus and Berry were already sitting.

Shadow sat at his desk. “All rise for… the… er… honorable Judge Shadow.”

Begrudgingly, the two stood up for Shadow, then promptly sat down again.

“Now,” Shadow sighed. “What seems to be the problem?”

Suddenly, there was an uproar. Both parties were screaming their lungs out, throwing insults and ad hominem attacks left and right. Shadow quickly grabbed his gavel.

“ORDER!” he cried. “ORDER IN THE COURT!” He threw down his gavel, only for it to hit the laptop, turning it into a pile of broken parts. “Now, let's try and be civil. Icarus, you first.”

Icarus took off his helmet, revealing a bandage over where a moustache would normally go on a human. “He defenestrated right into my face! THAT HURT!”

Berry raised his hand. “OBJECTION! Windows suck!”

Shadow, revealing his laptop had once been a Linux device, silently agreed, but overruled Berry's objection.

“As I was saying,” Ben continued, “I've been defenestrated. All hope of my mustache growing into anything more than stubble is gone!” He removed the bandage to reveal what Shadow had feared. Icarus, while normally not in possession of anything more than a light fuzz, was now completely smooth.

Shadow gasped. “This is a travesty! Berry, you must pay Icarus all your monies!”

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. When it was opened, it was revealed to be… Berry?

Shadow maskpalmed. “Great,” he sighed. “There are two of you now?”

The Berry in the room suddenly began shaking violently, under there was no more Berry. Suddenly, he appeared.

“HON HON HON! It eez I, the great Cascar! I weel finolly accompleesh mah goal of stealing your pie gone! HON HON!”

Suddenly, the giant nose jumped at Shadow. Unprepared, Shadow was at the full mercy of this nose. Using his magnificent 'stache, Cascar managed to subdue Shadow long enough for him to find his true goal.

The Pie Gun.

“HON HON! I weel nah conker theez islond, whonce and for all! HON HON HON!”

With the pie gun in hand (in moustache?) Cascar violently jumped out of the room.

The second Berry, stunned by this revelation, blinked at Shadow. “Two questions; 1). Why do you have a pie gun, and 2). Why is there a giant nose that turns into me?”

Shadow sighed. “If that gun is used incorrectly, this whole island could be turned into a pie! One great, big, delicious... scrumptious… amazing…” He shook his head. “Nevermind that! We've got to stop him!”

Berry put on his serious face. “Shadow, Icarus, get Kovika. Meet me at my dorm. I have a plan.”

Icarus sighed. “What's wrong with pie?”

 

 


-TO BE CONTINUED-

-Maybe.-

-Eventually.-

-Eh, don't count on it.-

  • Upvote 2

LEGO Republic:

The Valkyrie

The "Christmas Brick"

 

My BZPRPG Profiles

 

Now a proud member of The Kanohi Force

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Now that the chapter above me has gone outdated, we can have some May the Fourth action!

 

This is for all you foolball fans out there: This has nothing to do with football.

 

 

 

 

 

starwarskf.png

 

 

 

 

Out in the middle of space - yes, the direct middle - a small white vessel that looked totally helpless was being followed by a giant, ominous one. It was also being shot at. A lot.

 

T-31S and R2-Z2 were hurrying along the main hallway to the escape pods. "My goodness, R2! Why can't we stay somewhere peaceful, happy, fun, and all that good stuff? And- Wait, who are you conversing with?"

 

R2-Z2 had stopped a ways off, and someone in a white robe was feeding him cookies. Suddenly the mysterious person took off, and R2-Z2 began spouting out all sorts of foul language - but it was bleeped out, so no worry. The unlikely pair clambered into a really pathetic space capsule and shot off into the next-to-the-middle-of-space. "For the love of peace, R2, I wish you could stop attempting these reckless escapades."

 

As the Irriperial Storm Troopers poured in, blasting back Rebellion fighters with loaded baguettes, the mighty and villainous figure of-

 

---

 

"Ghidora!" Dallior butted in. "Who cares about the original trilogy? It's episode seven that's the news right now. Do that instead!"

 

"Fine, fine." Ghidora grumbled, throwing away his ancient copy of Lucasfilm plot booklets and pulling out a Blu Rey Star Wars 7 plot booklet (with coupons).

 

---

 

The Irriperial hangar bay was inflamed with activity as Rogue Storm Trooper Dallin broke through defenses and rocketed away in a Tie Fighter with resistance pilot Poe... Dalleron. "Gosh, this looks bad!"

 

"Believe it... TRAITOOOOOOOOOOOOR" A random soldier shouted as they were knocked out of the sky, crash-landing on the planet Jakkur....a. Meanwhile, Princess Reyyyy Met BB-131, and... Uh...

 

---

 

"Look, Dallior, I haven't even seen Episode Seven yet. Let's just try episode 1."

 

"Fine."

 

---

 

A small red ship very similar (almost identical) to the white one in the first narration flew towards an interstellar battlestation which was shaped like a cookie. Upon arriving, the two jedi masters Qui-Ghid and Obi-Wan Kohnohbi were seated in a room while Nute Ghinray decded to kill them by sending a droid. So, he logically sent the one with no weapons and hoped five seconds of gas would kill them.

 

Instead, they broke free, slicing apart the battle droids sent at them, and escaped into the ventilator shaft. They boarded a transport vehicle and were silently carried to Naboo...

 

 

On the planet, they both began running for their lives, but Qui-Ghid stumbled over Jak-Jak, a native who was actually an evil sith lord of death-

 

---

 

"Ghid, please." Shadow interrupted. "Let's try something that actually makes sense. Episode 2."

 

"Since when did that make sense?" Jakura mumbled.

 

---

 

Obi-Wan Kohnohbi started across the planet of Ka-mean-o to find the bounty hunter Jako Fett. Upon finding him, a large ya can't hit meh dual commenced, resulting in Jako and his son Ben-ba escaping into the stars in the Lame 1. After an asteroid battle, he was captured by Count Doollior. He-

 

---

 

"DOOLLIOR?!" Aerixx screamed in laughter. "Hah hah haaaah!! Doollior, more like droollior!"

 

"Fine. I'll try Episode 3. Happy?"

 

---

 

Anakoh... Nohwalker and Obi-wan Kohnohbi had defeated Count Doollior and rescued Chancellor Palpitate. As he was about to have a heart attack, the two jedi were captured and brought to General Ghriedvous. "Mwahaha, you'll never escape me now! I-"

 

---

 

"How come you're always the villains?!" Ouberry shouted. "I wanna be the bad guy!"

 

"FINE, WE'LL TRY FIVE! EPISODE FIVE!!"

 

---

 

Han Sovika rode out on his tauntaun to rescue Lukoh Nohwalker, who was attacked by the WampOU. Happy? Anyway, he saw a vision of Obi-Wan Kohnohbi, who said "Go, Lukoh. To the Dagnaggitobah system and find Yolodahll, the jedi master who-"

 

---

 

"Boring." Irrie snorted. "You're just trying to stick monsieur Dallior everywhere, and that izz lame. I'll show you how to do eet."

 

"Fine. You try it, your baguette-ness."

 

---

 

HON HON HON, A GALAXY SO VERY FAR AWAY, OUI!! IRRIE IRRIEWALKER WAS KEEDNAPPED BY IRRIE THE HUTT, AND VAS GOING TO BEE FED TO ZE HUNGREE SARIRRIE!! ALSO WITH IRRIE SOLO AND CHEWIRRIE, WHILE PRINCESS IRRIE, R2-IRRIE2 AND C-IRRIEO WATCHED!! "HON HON, THIS VILL BE ZE LAST CHANCE IRRIE THE HUTT!!""

 

"THROW HEEM EEN!!"

 

SUDDENLY THE AWESOME IRRIE BURST FORTH FROM THE GROUND, RIDING THE MAGICAL BAGUETTE OF DESTINY, AND DESTROYED THE DEATH STAR, KILLING DARTH IRRIE AND EMPEROR IRRIE AND SAVING THE UNIVERSE FROM TOTAL DESTRUCTION, AND WAS THE BEST HERO EVER THE END.

 

---

 

Ghidora rubbed the stress lines on his mask as Jakura sat in a trance, while Shadow slowly dialed 911 at the sight of the passed-out Dallior. "Happy May Ze Fourth, all your worthless Irrie-lovers!"

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I totally narrated that Irrie line in my best Irrational accent.

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"Remember when the comics forum had a lot of good stuff? Let's make that a thing again." -Kazi the Matoran

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And as we come to a close on the first wave of the Kanohi Force Comedy, I bring to you a chapter I've been wanting to put out since day one.

 

 

 

 

 

Pathetic compilation/adaptation of the stories "A Study In Scarlet", "The Final Problem", and "The Retired Colourman", otherwise known as

 

 

The Adventures Of Sherjak Gnomes

 

 

 

Chapter One

Mr. Sherjak Gnomes

 

    My name is Dr. John "James" H. Ghidson. I was an army doctor in Afghanistan last year, 1864 to be not really precise. I was shot in the shoulder and broke one of my leg bones, but both have healed admirably over the years. I have finally decided to come forwards and give my account after hearing that Colonel James Moriarzy has spread several lies to cover up the true nature and untimely death of his late brother, and I will now give a full account of the greatest man I have ever known.

    I returned home from the army hospital, from there to London, without a penny in my pocket, unsure of what I would do with myself. As I turned around, down the lane came Oliver Berrie, a friend of mine from the war. "Well, fancy that, meeting a friend in London! How are you, Ghidson?"

    "I'm fine, Oliver, very fine. I've been looking for a place to stay, and I can't find anything with decent quality for my pounds." I turned and pointed with my stick at the high-rising plain-faced buildings covering the horizon. "None of these stuck-up millionaires would ever be grateful for what they've got."

    "You know, you're the second person who's come to me with a lodging complaint."

    I was quite dumbstruck at the incredible circumstance. "Pray then, who was the first?"

    He laughed. "You haven't changed a bit, John. I can read the surprise on your face like the paper. The man is named Sherjak Gnomes. He has been looking a place at 131 B. Quaker St. He spends an awful lot of time in the hospital mortuary and in the dissecting room of the college."

    "Well, let's go and meet him then. Where is he now, the graveyard?"

    We both had a hearty laugh and started on our way. "He is an odd one, though." Oliver remarked casually as we walked. "His peculiar ways and methods are incredibly... Well, peculiar. For one thing, he beats the dead subjects with a stick for his tests."

    "Beats them!"

    "Yes, to see how far bruises can be inflicted after death. If he's feeling generally well during a test, he might give you a pinch of alkaloid to see your reaction, and then gladly take some himself if it would satisfy. But here is the place, and here is the man himself."

    We had walked down the hallway of the college and into the dissecting room, and there was the man himself. He was tall, almost as tall as myself, lean, yet still muscular, and nowhere as thin as I. His gaunt stature was almost as imposing as my own, and he was dressed in a powder grey suit, black tie, and a red Hau Nuva. Upon our enterance he walked around the table and wrung Oliver by the hand.

    "Hello, Mr. Gnomes, this is my friend Dr. Ghidson. He heard about your complaint for not being able to fund your rooms, and wants to take up diggings with you."

    The astute man gripped my hand with a rather impressive strength and greeted me kindly. "You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."

    I was shocked. "How on earth did you know that?"

    He laughed and waved away the question. "I have had an interesting day, but there is still much more to be done. Tomorrow you and I shall look the place over and come to an agreement. But first, what are your disadvantages? it's best that two men know the worst of each other before they take up lodgings."

    I chuckled. "Let's see. I have very unnatural habits, and am extremely lazy. I wake up at all sorts of ungodly hours, and I have random pains in my leg and shoulder. Well, what about you?"

    "Let's see. I keep chemicals about in random places, and I may go for a day or two without speaking or eating. Don't mind that, but just leave me be, and I'll be better soon enough. Let's see, what else. What do you think of violin playing?"
    "A well-played violin is a treat for the gods. But a poorly-played one-"

    "Ah, that's well enough!" He laughed. "Well, I'll see you then, Doctor. Good day, Berrie." And he continued on what appeared to be a blood test while Oliver and I quietly left him to his work. On the street, I turned and looked at Berrie. "How on earth did he know I had been in Afghanistan?"

    He giggled a bit. "It's his usual trade, you see. He's a consulting detective. Once Metru Yard can't figure out a seemingly hopeless case they send it down to him, and he solves it 90% of the time. They have a deep respect for him... Most of the time. Some of the newer ones don't seem to think much of him at all."

    "Also, what is your relations to this? you seem like you want to wash your hands of the whole business. Come now, out with it."

    Oliver shrugged. "He is too peculiar for me. Try and study him if you can, but I'll bet he'll figure out more about you than you ever will about him. Goodbye, Ghidson. I'll see you later."

    I parted ways with my colleague and headed back to my hotel, incredibly curious of my new acquaintance and completely unaware of how immensely important our existence would be to the entire world.

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Chapter 2

The Fate Of The Empire

 

 

 

    I will cut ahead to where Mr. Sherjak Gnomes and I went on the investigation that led to his death. We settled in those very rooms that he has become famous for inhabiting, and worked on a number of cases, both incredibly miniature in importance and some to rival the great world war, like the bruce-parlington plans, which are now known to the public.
 
 
 
    We were in our upper sitting-room in 131 B. Quaker St. with the windows open to relieve the hot air which had clogged the room. "Over there" I remarked, getting up and pacing towards the window. "It's the colourman. What on earth is he doing over..."
    Gnomes laughed at seeing me answer my own question. "You know what it is. He is coming to me. He bears the symptoms, and I am the cure. Come in, Mr. Azimuth."
    Josiah Azimuth was a rather poorly dressed Englishman, his tattered, worn suit was quite the eyesore. He was clearly not in possession of any great strength, but his hunched form disguised a wide shoulderset which at some point in time must have remarkably muscular. "Mr. Gnomes, I am in a desperate state of despair."
    "I know already, I deduced it from the papers. But considering Ghidson does not know, and I shall need a beneficiary in this case, pray retell this odd episode that has occurred."
    The man was startled, but with some minor effort he recovered, and being waved to a chair, began his account. "All my life I have treated my wife like a queen. I have given her everything she could ask for and nothing less. She and my son were my joy in life. Several days ago I bought her tickets to a theater presentation." He showed the ticket stub of seat 31. "She complained of a headache and couldn't go. But when I returned she was gone, and had taken all of our money, leaving a note which said she had fled with a Dr. Ray Ganto."

    "Hold on" Sherjak Gnomes said. "Do you have the note?"

    "No, sir, I burned it, but- Oh, you're going to help, aren't you?!"
    Gnomes was evidently incredibly intrigued by the situation, although he gave the appearance of being fed up with it. "I am sorry, Mr. Azimuth, but I am currently too busy to intervene. Dr. Ghidson will take over in my place while I am gone. But I received a telegram addressed to you, oddly enough."
    The odd figure sat up. "What?? Here?"
    "Yes." Gnomes said lazily as he unfolded it and handed it to him. It read like this:
 
          "Josiah Azimuth
      

             "I have information that can very much help you. Please come at once to Little Purlington. I have information about your missing wife.
 

"Anonymous."                                                                                                                      
 

     If nothing else, it was an interesting prospect. So, despite the constant denial of our friend Josiah Azimuth, I was soon on my way to Little Purlington with a strict order to not let him out of my sight for one minute. All the time during our ride in a trap, he rambled about how uncomfortable he was, and how Gnomes must have failed and ran away, etc., etc.  Oddly enough, I only had to slap him once.

     Arriving in the small town, I noticed we had been followed by a peculiar individual, and so I sent a description to Gnomes in the form of a telegram. "Shaded glasses, heavy hat, black cloak, large tie." Despite our careful searching, we could find no informer, and ended up myself disappointed and Azimuth steaming mad.

     "I don't see how this is helping" he thundered as we walked back towards a trap. "We have walked all the way over here for absolutely nothing at all, while he wastes his time in London!"

     I refused to answer his outburst at all. We traveled back to his home, a high-walled, old stone mansion with weathered sides and a gloomy look. On entering, a blast of air came from the hallway, the smell of low-grade paint. It was absolutely repulsive, but for an old colourman like Joshua Azimuth, it must have been barely noticeable. It was apparent where it came from, for he was painting some of the doorways to pass the time and distract him from the case. He discussed sympathetically with me about his wife and tore up a picture of her in my presence. "I never wish to see her again!" he cried. It was ironic, however, because he had been discussing how much he missed her, and it trailed into that direction again shortly after.

    Out back of the house was a large disused well, completely dry and covered with a large, air-tight board. He wouldn't let me touch it, and defended it quite strongly. After a while I suggested we return to 131 B. Quaker St. and I would give him no say otherwise. Soon we were rolling down the street towards the familiar lodgings of my famous companion.

    Upon arriving upstairs, I was surprised to see the very same suspicious gentleman who had traced us sitting in the same room as my companion. Josiah Azimuth was quite nervous about it, as his whole form shook as he walked in. "Who is this gentleman?"

    "An old friend of mine, Mr. Barkohnoh." Gnomes said. "But we both have the same question to ask you!"

    The Colourman quivered slightly, looking between the two of them. "And that is?"

    "Just this. What did you do with the bodies?"

    The wretched figure contorted as he let out a shriek of fear, and for once we got a glimpse at the real Josiah Azimuth, a demon with a soul as twisted as his features. He clapped his hand to his mouth as to stifle a cough. Gnomes sprung forwards and wrenched his head around with one hand until a white pellet dropped out. "No, no escapes, Mr. Azimuth. Do you have a trap ready?"

    Barkohnoh nodded without any emotion.

    "Good. Take him down to the yard. I'll be there soon."

 

 

 

    "That was a friend and rival of mine." Sherjak Gnomes said. "While you and Josiah were out, I was exploring in his house and I found a room with..."

    After about two hours of plot-relevant stuff, I was awakened by Gnomes tugging on my shoulder. "I found out why Dr. Ganto was killed. He had associated himself in the past with a Professor of notorious mention, and after finding out a very dark secret, convinced the only two people he could trust - Mrs. Azimuth and her son - and planned to flee the country. He was marked for death, and how better to do it than this deadly Professor's acquaintance, Josiah Azimuth, married to the victim? Josiah convinced them somehow to come into that deadly room, and killed them through gas pumped in from underground. He deposited the bodies in the well which I am sure you saw, and called me into service through pure swank, thinking nobody could beat him."

   "You keep mentioning this dark Professor; who is he?"

   "Another time," Gnomes laughed. "For now, regale me with your story of how you tolerated his incessant ramblings."

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Chapter whatever number it is

 

July 4th, 2016

 

it was just a little after midnight, and most of the Kanohi Force crew were sitting around in the 17th floor lounge of the Tower. A few of them were gaming in the back, while Ghidora was having a chat with Kovika about a promotion by the smoothie bar. Dane and a couple of his buddies had stopped by for an evening visit, and were presently engaged in a board game against Arzaki and Pohatu.

 

The 1st Shadow was sitting in one corner, catching up on a bit of reading, when he glanced at his watch, and his eyes lit up. He closed the book and set it down, a huge grin spreading behind his Kakama. He stood slowly and said, "Boys....."

 

Ghidora turned and addressed the other Leedur. "Shadow."

 

Loganto poked his head up from the couch where he'd been napping. "Yes, o mighty leader?"

 

For a moment, Shadow vanished, the Mask of Speed carrying him first to his designated room, then down to his workshop, and back again. Upon his head sat an embroidered tricorn hat. Emblazoned upon his usually solid black leather coat were two American flags. Each hand held some form of basic rifle, and he wore a double-bandolier, loaded with ammo made up of rolled-up mini American flags.

 

"Uh-oh..." Ghiddy muttered.

 

"IT'S 'MURICA DAY!" the Av-Matoran crowed at the top of his lungs. A few of the others immediately raced to action.

 

Except Dane. He just tentatively raised his hand and said, "I'm British, so...."

Shadow waved him off. "You're good. No worries."

 

"However," the Toa of Plantlife added, "I will take one of those schnazzy hats, if you have any more."

 

Shadow nodded and pulled another out of his pocket, flinging it across the room to land squarely on the other's head.

 

"Thanks!"

 

By now, Loganto had painted " 'MURICA" across his chest, and Kovika was dressed in full Texan ranger garb. They ran over to join Shadow while Ghidora took the few that he could save and retreated to the back wall. "Run.... RUN!" he shouted.

 

Shadow turned to Loganto and Kovika. "Quick, boys! To the American Wonder Truck!" And he leaped out the nearest window, down to the parking garage below, the other two close behind. Shadow leaped into the drivers seat while Loganto took shotgun, with Kovika standing atop the huge white Chevy, between the two huge flags mounted on either side of the cab.

By now, Ghidora and Dallior had shown up. "Exactly how long have you had this thing sitting in here?"

 

Shadow glanced at his watch. "Since last year. I've been waiting for this chapter to use it." And with that, he gunned the engine and took off into the lamp-lit streets of BZ-Metru.

 

From here on out, all could hear the voices of this Independence-induced trio singing classics such as "Born In the USA," "Proud to Be An American," and "American Pie" at the top of their lungs, slightly off-key. As they drove, Shadow would intermittently fire off some rounds of his mini American Flag-bullets, decorating the streets with the Red-White-and-Blue. Kovika fired off roman candles, sparklers, bomb-shells, and every other kind of firework you could think of from a vast collection in the bed of the truck. The explosions ranged from the classic orb-like burst, to engineered Eagle-shaped displays, some depicting a massive "4," and so on. They weren't being too subtle about their shenanigans.

 

So, it wasn't too much of a surprise when they at last found the road blocked by Black Six, GSR, the ECDR, and three squads of Bezevakh. The Leader of BZ-Nui slammed the end of his BanHammer into the ground, indicating that it would be wise for the trio to halt the vehicle. Begrudgingly, Shadow did so, and hopped out. "Come to join in our festivities, have you, Black Six? The more the merrier!"

 

"Absolutely not!" the other countered. "Do you have any idea what time it is? There's a time and a place for this sort of thing, and you know that. Now is not that time."

 

Kovika popped up from behind the cab of the American Wonder Truck. "Does that mean I can't use these?" He held up his arms, displaying some multi-barreled devices strapped to his forearms. 

 

GSR squinted at him in the dim light. "What are those?"

 

Shadow grinned. "Really big pieces of PVC piping, filled with roman candles, held together by lots and lots of duct tape. Light those babies off and just aim into the sky. Firework machine-guns, basically."

 

Black Six and GSR glanced at each other, then back at the other. "NO! Do NOT fire those off!"

 

Loganto poked out from behind Kovika, a lit lighter in his hand. "Did he just say, 'fire those off?' Well, if you insist, O Captain, My Captain!" A couple seconds later, Kovika was blasting off dozens of rounds of little burning trails, singing the National Anthem as he did so.

 

---------------

 

The next morning, Ghidora, Arzaki, and Dallior made a trip to the Coliseum dungeon. The guard on duty led them down a hall to a cell that contained Kovika, Loganto, and The 1st Shadow. 

 

Loganto shrugged as they came into view. "It's that American spirit, you know?"

 

Kovika nodded. "In my defense, I'm from Texas, so... yeah."

 

Shadow stared at the others for a moment or two before saying, "Alright, so this one time, it was actually my fault. I'll own up to that. So, uh, think you could you bail us out now?" he said as he grinned sheepishly.

 

 

------------

 

The End.

 

Apologies for it not being very good. Spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, you know?

 

Anyway, happy Independence Day, peoples! Have fun, and don't die. :)


~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

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~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to

NickonAquaMagna~

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If you say all of Loganto's lines in a nonchalant irish accent, it transforms it from funny to hilarious!


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My lands Shadow, do you know how much that bail costed

 

That was more than the time you turned everything into pie

 

 

Seriously, this sounds like another usual Force shenanigan. Keep it up!

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Agreed! Great work. I really enjoyed the latest chapter.


Gleaming gleaming


The Red Star,


Bringing life to death afar,


Up away in deepest space,


You call me from your distant place.


Proud member of the Kanohi Force

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And so we come to that sad, despairing day where the comedy comes to a close. Thanksgiving Day will be the host of the final chapter in the Kanohi Force Comedy's long run here on BZP. But don't worry! we've got something better planned to follow what this started, with a more orderly system and the same pointless, nonsensical, and disturbing crude humour that you've suffered under for so long.
 
 
 

 

 

 

Thanks The Giving Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a cold and rainy night.

 

Up through the old stone buildings tried by time and the antics of the Kanohi Force sat an old and weathered mansion, surrounded by a high fence on its vast property, and held high in esteem by the owner for being the one hundred and thirty first building to be registered property-wised, house number one-three-one, and being approximately  one hundred and thirty one square feet total.

 

The Riddiculum Estate.

 

Up to this despairing place came a large van containing the most despicable breed of hideous vermin in all of the Bionicle fan communities, the Kanohi Force. They were screaming, fighting, kicking and biting up to the front door, every inch of road they drove made Shadow scream out in rage from the driver's seat, resulting in literally no success whatsoever. They finally piled out in a heap, Jakura Nuva stepping over them and dragging Banana Gunz and Loganto apart from killing each other. Kovika stealthily and not very stealthily crept behind potted plants and eventually tripped on the front rug, and Dallior began force-feeding Shadow anti-stress pills so he didn't blow up.

 

And Arzaki did literally nothing, questioning the existence of Monster Hunter's experience system and the logic of crowding so many immature young scrubs into one place. Eventually Shadow calmed down enough to go up to the door, yell at the top of his lungs for everyone to stop talking, and rang the bell.

 

Really, the bell was completely unnecessary, for the combined noise would anyone in the universe. Eventually it creaked open and the Force of madmen swarmed the halls, nearly thirty in number, knocking everything over as they trampled the place. Shadow had to zip around at high speed, along with Pohatu, and keep everybody from going into rooms they weren't supposed to, while Jakura tried in vain to fix everything that had been ruined and toppled over, yelling at Arzaki to help him, as Arzaki just glanced around and said "huh" repeatedly.

 

Upon entering the dining room, Shadow and Pohatu forced everyone to actually sit in their chairs instead of hanging from the ceiling. Ghidora sat at the head of the table, the six other Leedurz sitting closest to him, Arzaki happening to sit on the end and then instantly regretting it, while the other members continued to blab at high volume. Ghidora held his hand up, and it took a solid five minutes for everyone to stop talking.

 

"We have come here on this eventful twenty-four hours," He began, before someone coughed. "to celebrate the only culturally acceptable holiday that doesn't involve-"

 

*cough*

 

"That doesn't involve some kind of delusional-"

 

*cough*

 

"Delusional performance other than eating a tur-"

 

*cough cough*

 

"THAN EATING A TURKEY BECAUSE WE ENJOY EACH OTHER'S COMPANY AND-"

 

*cough*

 

Ghidora groaned and rubbed his forehead. "Just stuff yourselves."

 

Instantly the little group of madmen turned into a tornado of endless destruction, tearing the turkey to shreds and flinging mashed potatoes to the walls, stuffing their faces with cranberry sauce and drinking the gravy. Shadow was appalled until the remains of the turkey pelted him in the face, and he ate quietly under the table. Kovika tried to fight  off the incoming potateos and corn, but he was overwhelmed by the food stuffs. Jakura immediately beat a hasty retreat to the restroom to hide until it was all over. And Arzaki tried to sound out the noise of IcarusBen chewing, and the repeated food Ouberry was slinging at everyone's faces, by pretending he was somewhere else entirely and blankly stared at the wall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

An hour later, the room was empty. Well, of maniacs, for the most part at least. They all ran madly through the alleys to their own places of residence to watch football. The walls were coated with gravy and mashed potatoes, the ancient pictures hanging there would need a good washing and drying before they resembled people again. Arzaki was caked in a thick layer of sweet potato and cranberry, Shadow peeked up from under the table and grabbed the saucer of whatever gravy happened to not get evaporated, and Pohatu was still trying to recover from the shock, Dallior hiding behind him in his fez.

 

The ceiling fan snapped off the ceiling, mostly because Kovika was still hiding on it, landing him onto the table and then the fan onto him with a crunch. Jakura opened the bathroom door with some force due to the thick layer of food, and nearly fainted at the sight. All the food was completely gone, except for the pumpkin pie, because pi is infinite.

 

With a sigh, Ghidora finally stirred, reaching forward and cutting himself a slice of pie, squirting on some condensed whipped cream from a container he had somehow hidden in his shirt sleeve. "Is anyone hungry?"

 

Pohatu abruptly fainted onto the table.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After an extensive cleaning job which lasted for about till one in the morning, the seven Leedurz sat around the fire place, drying off from the chaos. Shadow had to repeatedly look at his BZ-Pad, as he was getting alerts of a turkey-coated Le-Matoran running madly through town, screaming about how he got offended by the turkey he was currently shoving into his throat. Finally, he shut his BZ-Pad off and stowed it away in his pocket.

 

"Ghid I mean why don't we just, give up or something" Arzaki blurted suddenly. "like, how many times per week do we have to pay community fines because they blow something up or deface public property? thirty-one?"

 

"Still, it was nice that we helped them to feel good for the holidays," Dallior murmured. "At least we won't have to do that again for another month."

 

"You're wrong." Arzaki groaned, sinking his face into his hands. "Tomorrow is black friday."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you all for making the Kanohi Force Comedy an enjoyable experience for us to write, direct, and plan out. Have a happy Thanksgiving, and we'll see you all next time!

 

~Ghidora, and the Kanohi Force Leedurship

 

 

 

If you are interested in the Kanohi Force, it's free and easy! just PM either Ghidora131 or ~The 1st Shadow~ and we'll work on getting you set up to join the group!

We are a Bionicle-Based group for fun and entertainment purposes dedicated to creating LEGO-related content for you and everyone else to enjoy. All properties and relations to LEGO, Bionicle, and the LEGO logo are property of the LEGO group®, all rights reserved. 2016

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I don't recall us planning to end it this soon, but whatever.

 

I have to say, I kinda preferred Ben's idea in the Throne over this. This chapter didn't feel like it connected with the cast on a personal level, and didn't feel like our usual. That said, I feel like we should come up with something a bit bigger and more entertaining as a "season finale." Just a thought, but we'll see what happens.


~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

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~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to

NickonAquaMagna~

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I don't recall us planning to end it this soon, but whatever.

 

I have to say, I kinda preferred Ben's idea in the Throne over this. This chapter didn't feel like it connected with the cast on a personal level, and didn't feel like our usual. That said, I feel like we should come up with something a bit bigger and more entertaining as a "season finale." Just a thought, but we'll see what happens.

Please keep more personal conversations off the comedy topic.

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I don't recall us planning to end it this soon, but whatever.

 

I have to say, I kinda preferred Ben's idea in the Throne over this. This chapter didn't feel like it connected with the cast on a personal level, and didn't feel like our usual. That said, I feel like we should come up with something a bit bigger and more entertaining as a "season finale." Just a thought, but we'll see what happens.

Please keep more personal conversations off the comedy topic.

 

As it dealt with the content of the chapter, it counts.


~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

sotpbanner.png

~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to

NickonAquaMagna~

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Hey guys I'm back what did I miss here on BZPower?

 

I'm thinking of getting a bit more involved again, as long as it doesn't drain too much on college. Which it shouldn't.A

 

Also thinking I really need to update all of my stuff here. That avatar doesn't need any more JPG than it already has. The tiny comic sans text above my older MOCs doesn't help either.

Edited by Pohatu: Uniter of Stone

I HATE SCORPIOS


 


~Pohatu Master of Stone, 2015

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Hey guys I'm back what did I miss here on BZPower?

 

I'm thinking of getting a bit more involved again, as long as it doesn't drain too much on college. Which it shouldn't.A

 

Also thinking I really need to update all of my stuff here. That avatar doesn't need any more JPG than it already has. The tiny comic sans text above my older MOCs doesn't help either.

Dunno if this is the place to put this, bud, since neither Dallior or myself have posted in this topic for ages. 


~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

sotpbanner.png

~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to

NickonAquaMagna~

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