Aderia

Delayed reaction by like, a lot, but thanks for your thoughts guys, I really do appreciate them, even though this run-on sentence reply post may not be the most convincing. =)

Technopath, especially in today's world.

A congratulatory toast for the newst member of the 10k club.

Ahaha, what a silly question. There's nothing I never got around to finishing, I'm just procrastinating, naturally.

1. When was your favourite point during your stay on BZP?I'm not sure if my 'favorite point' has passed yet.2. How long have you been a member of BZP?Since May 29th, 20103. Should that previous question have been the first question?To be frank, I really don't care.4. Have you had any long disapperances from BZP? If so, why?Yes. I don't remember when or why, but I'm pretty sure it's happened.5. Are you as interested in BZP as you used to be?Mmmneh, no. I used to post a lot more. After I stopped posting as much, I said that it was only the library that kept me here. But nowadays, it's the actual people that I've met (relative term) that keep me around.6. Do you feel that BZP is slowly losing its members, or that BZP generally has less activity?Yes, and yes.7. If Bionicle had not been replaced, do you think that BZP would always remain strong as long as Bionicle was ‘updated‘‘ on a regular basis?I don't understand how the answer to this question can be 'no'. 8. Have I asked enough questions yet?Why is this question necessary?9. Do you want a hug?...Umm....anyways, back to browsing the forums.

1. What country are you from?United States 2. What languages do you speak?English, and only English since my ignorant American school system didn't think it was important to teach us a second language. But I'm working on my French.3. Can you easily buy Lego products in your country?Yes, and sometimes we get them freewith Happy Meals.4. Can you still find Bionicle/older Hero Factory sets in your shops?Haven't looked, but I'm sure the answer is yes.5. How long does it take for the latest Lego sets to reach stores?This question is irrelevant to me, so I must say that I do not know.6. Do you buy Lego products in shops or online? Which is easier?^^See above7. Would you like to see more Lego products available in your country?Sure, if it helps the economy and keeps the kids happy.9. Why do you think I missed out the number 8?No clue, you shoulda gotten rid of seven. Ya know, because seven eight nine. Numerical cannibalism should not be tolerated10. Am I wasting my time, and does anyone remember me?Speaking as a part-time procrastinator, I see no shame in wasting time.

Trial of Iron, reviewed. Also, Nick! Welcome =D It's awesome to have you on the team.

Heyo, ECC critic here, and it's review time.I would usually say nitpicks first, meaning grammar and spelling slip ups, but you didn't have many of those. For that, I commend you. But the quotable criticisms that focus more on content and word choice etc. etc., I found a nice bunch of those, that was fun. Lets get those out of the way first.Prologue Something needs to be said in advocation for organization of narrative text here. The paragraph in the middle, the one starting 'The enormous continent of the west...' just seems to come in and interrupt the two paragraphs describing Netruhl. I, personally would switch the middle and last paragraphs. What is this speaker replying to? 'he' to 'his' Okay, well you've used 'his' about 90% of the time in this description, why suddenly switch to 'its'? It just struck me as weird. In a bad way.Chapter I Was this teleportation? Say what you mean, don't beat around the bush, especially if you're only just introducing the character and his or her powers and abilities. Hey, some backstory! Finally!! But one thing I must say. The middle of a battle is a -horrible- time to let your mind wander back to the past. The middle of an action scene is also not a good place to put backstory, although I'm glad you have some. I get that this is dialogue and all, and people talk like that, but 'there's' should still be 'there are', since it is written out dialogue. Why would somebody tell his enemy exactly how many resources and allies he doesn't have anymore? It just doesn't make sense to me. If he thinks he has friends in the world still, and they'll have his back, he'll be more at ease. But tell him that, and he'll become desperate and dangerous. Which isn't a good thing for anyone. Most conspicuous what? I understand what you're trying to say, but just say it.Now is as good a time as any to bring up something that had been bugging me while reading the story up to this point. In the story, you seemed to be writing with different thrid person limited points of view. First one character, but then without warning, another. It's confusing, and not quite omniscient. I really just kind of noticed it when Netruhl was killed in the prologue. It seemed to me that he would be a key character, a protagonist if you will. You said things like, describing Vraal's voice as 'a voice', unknown to Netruhl, and making the perspective third person limited, from Nethrul's perspective. But then you kill him off and there is a perspective shift that throws the reader off balance.From Chapter II Okay, cool, cool. Kid in early 20's, nice and fresh, six feet with long hair, lovely. Blue-evening-sky colored eyes, although I usually picture the evening sky as orange not blue. He's a city kid and...wait what?He's a blacksmith -and- a carpenter? I have issues with that. It's improbable. Both trades take much time, years upon years, to beocme decent in. They take focus and dedication and honest hard work. Iron and wood are two very different materials. To have a child of only 20 be a carpenter and a blacksmith is just absurd, I'm sorry. Even if he was a novice, it would still be unrealistic. A carpenter's shop takes up a lot of space. A forge, even moreso. Not to mention the blantant fire hazard, having molten metals near sawdust and unspecified amounts of wood. Oh. Wow. Yesterday, out of the 7000+ days he's been alive, he made this discovery. How quaint.And then conveniently his best friend has developed powers and has also learned to control them? Great, great.I'm sorry for the sarcasm, but that entire section came off as unconvincing and sudden to me. The details about the characters are lacking at this point. We've barely learned Iro's name, then you're dumping us with newfound powers of his, and then on top of that, his best friend and his friend's new powers too? Insight into the characters, their thoughts, emotions, etc. etc. are in need. Having superpowers develop overnight is a big thing, but the reaction to this isn't reflected in the characters very realistically. Umm...what? How is this possible, I'm just wondering.Chapter III Pfffthahahaha, I'm sorry, but I pictured the character trying to use the mace to hunt. That's not what you meant, right? Because, I mean, it's 1) a more or less predatory and animalistic character who shouldn't need a weapon to hunt and 2) killing small animals with a spiked mace wouldn't leave much of the small animal to eat. This was a peculiar little sentence. Depending on what you may or may not have meant, there is more than one way I would edit it.a ) "I rejected your entry into my mind, and attempt to overpower me."b ) "I reject your entry into my mind, yet you attempt to overpower me."c ) "I rejected your entry into my mind and yet you attempt to overpower me."d ) All of the abovee ) None of the above Again, you need clarity. Was this teleportation? There's no shame in saying so. Also. I hope Zha-xar has a great time killing scampering deer with a spiked mace.Okay, so now that those are done. So far, you do have an interesting plot, although not the most original. It has potential, I can say that. Your spelling and grammar overall were decent. Your dialog was fine, except for that one last bit when that Harbringer of Darkness and his willing servant were talking over the telepathy phone. I know it's thoughts, talking inside minds, all that jazz, but it didn't feel very conversational to me. Just to point out in more detail: I don't think like that. I don't talk like that. I certainly don't think/talk to other people like that. But that's the only complaint I had about the dialog. Everything else was flow-y, more or less.Another thing. A big thing that really got on my nerves. This is a story with what looks like all original characters. And not only that, original species, locations, the whole shebang. And hey, that's totally fine. The part that's not fine is that you dumped all the names for characters, species, and locations on the reader at once. I had no clue in a Pravus was a tree species, or Alio was the name of a specific character. Kudos for jumping on the creative initiative and coming up with a gazillion custom names, yeah. But it was kinda ruined by the lack of detail and backstory to back up those gazillion names. Again, example time. Three names introduced here, only one of them really explained. Also, the fact that I'm still not completely grasping what a Murtuan is. I feel like Murtuan=Matoran, Alio=Toa, Pravus= Makuta, roughly. This may be your expanded universe, but expand it beyond just your own imagination. Flesh it out in details so that readers know what you're talking about, because, frankly, all the names had me lost and subsequently disinterested.Another thing to work on, besides fleshing out your universe and not dumping readers with mountains of proper nouns that have significant meaning to only you, is giving those proper nouns, characters more specifically, emotion. Let the reader connect with them, since I haven't yet. Pace yourself when introducing characters, places, and other custom-created things in your universe. And weed out any unecessary names and characters, focus on only a few (one or two) at a time. Like, in the prologue, I thought Netruhl was going to be a protagonist or something, but within the chapter, you'd killed him off. A waste of a good name, I thought.Anyways, I'm not sure if you plan to continue this epic or not. But if you do, I'll be interested to see how you improve it. Until next time.

Turtle. Miniature adorable turtle. I -want- one! I am so glad you shared this, I just watched the sad part of the Lion King and its commercial break and this cheered me up =D

The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald on my own time before school could ruin it with its analytical questions.The Scarlett Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, because school made me. But its okay because I liked it, but not the work that went along with it =/

Woot! We can't wait to have you on our Ambage chat =) I hope you can type fast and speed read, it can get kinda hectic sometimes.

Happy superawesome birthday HH!

The League Wars, reviewed. Bring on the next batch!

Hey! I remember this epic back from the old forums! And yeah, it was a doozy, at least, lengthwise. It’s a shame you only have the prologue here on the new forums, though. I remember reading it, though not faithfully, and generally, I remember good things. I really have no nitpicks for this prologue, nor do I have commentary on the plot, since all I have to work with is about 150 words of background. One thing I do like about Reformed Spherus Magna stories, since I’m not the biggest fan of Spherus Magna itself, is the creativity and perspective that each author puts into his or her story. All the reformed SM stories I’ve read have been more or less diverse, they’re really awesome to compare.I'm not entirely sure, at the moment, about the rules in the Library about re-posting old stories, but this is something I could read again, and I'd love to be able to review more substantially. But for the time being, all I can say is that I hope the other 45 chapters of your epic are as error-free as your prologue.

=D Congrats to everyone! Like, comedies and Epics too, youuuuu are all awesome. And , special congrats to the winners, naturally.

Cenotaphs is one of the only epics in the library that I read for the sake of reading. It may not sound like much of a compliment, but really, it is. More often than not, I'm constantly on the lookout for things to nitpick and whatnot, it's so nice to be able to sit back and enjoy the show for once. I think Rovaius said it well, "The most expensive request I make of biomechs is for their time. The least I can do is make it well spent[...]", if that makes sense here.One thing that I've noticed is that each chapter is more or less like a self-contained short story, which makes this epic unique. That being said, I never felt overwhelmed with all the action, or that the story's been aimless and disjointed. Good storytelling has been done here.The five year’s you compressed into a paragraph, back in Episode 06. At first, I was a bit thrown off by the whole thing. Five whole years, years longer than human years, passed, but there weren’t any developments in character that jumped out at me afterwards. I mean, maybe it’s the fact that they live for hundreds of thousands of years and all, I don’t know. But that’s not really important. The point is that I’m seeing more of the characters’ characters now, if that makes sense. Like, Elandra’s meltdown, or how she and Stalgrax don’t really see eye to eye, Trylac’s individuality, and also Adrinor as part of the story, not just a narrator. I’m not sure if this is me finally getting into the swing of things or what, but it’s just something I wanted to bring up and try not to be vague about.Anyways, I really have nothing to criticize. Any nitpicks or comments I may have brought up have already been covered by your other readers. Perks of being a procrastinator, huh? It looks like this review's missed the halfway mark by about a chapter and a half, but whatever. The first half of this epic has been great, here's hoping you outdo yourself for the last half.

Okay, this is how I picture a cozy chair. Do I win? Also, this is a placeholder for my thoughts on 'To Soar', which I have printed out in front of me. You didn't repost it, by chance, did you?

February 31st, 2012 I had one of those 'omg' moments when I realized my calendar was broken. It was not cool. [Please don't link to pictures with watermarks for sites with commenting systems. -Takuma Nuva]

I squee'd IRL when I saw this, it's adorable!! Hahaha, nice rugby ball, btw. I actually only recently learned that they're not misshapen footballs. XD Hey! Hey guess what!! I know you! ...do you have contacts in?

Hush hush, I thought I was being witty. Now I'm embarrassed. =P But Tahu was asleep for a couple thousand years, right? That's gotta count for something.

A little thing about BZP that I like, maybe taking the 'little' to heart a bit too much, is this topic, actually. It's all happy and positive, it makes me smile =)

Lhikan. Because because because, age before beauty. Sorry Tahu.