Eyru

But if I am to follow your reasoning, every story with a white president before 2008 is bigoted. Every story that did not contain progressive themes in the areas of gender or sexuality is bigoted. My whole point coming into this discussion was that old lit can be good too.

Let me reference you back to what Tyler's already said on the subject:

...the people who write the movies we watch, the shows we DVR, the books we read and rave about - they all were raised in the same constructs, and people do see their works and take inspiration from them. And then they show their kids. And then their kids show their kids. And it all comes back to what I was saying about breathing life into these tired, backwards notions. They're there; they've always been there; most of them were disguised, shown under different names and with different twists, but they're there, and they had impressions on all of us to some extent. That's where the saying "everyone is a little prejudiced" comes from. It's true! We can't help but be a little prejudiced! But it's part of the struggle to grow as people - it's our responsibility to overcome it so we can grow as people.

I wrote much more, but I feel like this is me getting long-winded enough as it is. Should the occasion arise, I'll post the rest of my response. Hopefully, this is enough to clear things up a bit for you.

(<3 u ty)

More than anything, I think I'm just sad that it's finally over. The finale was unexpected in some parts, but better than I'd hoped in others.

listen to HH she is wise

hope to see you up here soon eh

makaru you're lookin' good

The Fault in Our Stars

legit

youngster

Best Film: Pacific Rim

got nothing else to say

I'm the same with buying books. If I see a book on sale that I really want to read, I have to get it. It doesn't help that there's this gorgeous little used bookstore next to the coffee shop where I work with amazing deals; I usually exit with a couple new books to join the ever-growing stack of things I have yet to read. I literally have a bin (no bookshelf, unfortunately ) full of dozens of books I plan to read... eventually.

the hottest it's been around here all year is 40

First episode of season nine (and most of season eight, tbh) that really had that classic HIMYM vibe, imo. It almost felt like I was back in season 2, and it really reminded me of why I fell in love with this show in the first place. If the rest of this season is more like this episode than the preceding ones, I'll be ecstatic.

Wouldn't take a hundred years.

 

it's called suspension of disbelief man

If you die in Canada, you die in real life!

 

24601

false canada has free healthcare so if you die we just bring you back to life at no charge

He comes back to the land of the living as a super hero ...

 

... who's having Nunavut.

 

awful pun well done

gosh darnit not even a spoiler warning :c

when b6 says he reads your blog u know u doin ok

snips and snails and puppy dog tails

nuuu

I am curious: Did either of you read what I said at all?

I actually did not; you posted while I was posting. So I'll make a brief reply.

You first say that you "should not have to tolerate intolerance." Neither xccj or myself have said that. In fact, both of us have said exactly the opposite. We both agree that intolerance and bigotry are terrible, terrible things, and should not be tolerated. Both should be immediately dealt with.

What we did say was that the response to bigotry and homophobic speech should be motivated by a desire to educate the other party, because people are not always aware of the power of their words. Attacking them in return only makes them believe they are the victim, which closes them off to any reasonable points the real victims might make. Harsh words do not open ears.

You also say that I have the "audacity to tell them they should remain calm about it." And I will be fair here: yes, it is audacious of me to ask people to let go of their anger and hurt and respond in a calm manner. I do have a nerve to ask people, when attacked, to respond in love, and attempt to educate the people who, knowingly or not, are hurting them. Because that is the only way this is ever going to end. Understanding needs to take place, and for that to happen, we can't be firing shots at one another.

Finally, you also say that I am (however unintentionally) belittling the struggles of people who go through these things. Let me respond with a story.

I was elected valedictorian of my graduating class. On the day of the ceremony, I stood up, gave my speech, and graduated with my classmates. The day after, I found that, throughout the ceremony, a couple of my classmates had been tweeting vicious things about me. They called me unprintable names, and made every attempt to demean my character and who I was. And this wasn't the first time. These people had pushed me around for years. For years, I avoided them out of fear. For years, thanks to them, I was a social outcast, afraid to talk to anyone because of what they might say to me.

So, the next week, at school, I met the guy behind it, looked him in the eye, and told him what he did was hurtful and mean and wrong, but that I forgave him. For everything.

I'm not trying to make myself out to be saint, but I know what it feels like to go through these kinds of struggles. I've been bullied. I've been picked on. I won't bother listing the names I've been called because the word filter won't let them go through. Don't you dare say I don't know what it's like to be looked down on just because of who I am, because I do. I know it all too well.

But every time a marked change has been made in the war against inequality, it has been done through an attempt to let go of past wrongs and make people understand. I'm not saying we pretend it's okay for people to say intolerant things out of ignorance; I'm saying we need to attack their ignorance, not them. Calling them a bigot won't fix anything; it only leads to everyone putting up their defences and refusing to listen. All xccj and I are saying is that we need to stop returning fire and start trying to make people understand.

Yes, I have considered the implications of what I'm saying. The Gender Squad is on the right track: if we educate instead of call names, even though it's not easy, we'll be that much closer to equality.

I think xccj has hit the nail on the head here.

Education starts with understanding, and no one is going to want to understand someone who calls them names. I am in no way demeaning the struggles that many people have gone through; I know there are people here who have been bullied and hurt because of who they are, and that is not acceptable. But, like xccj has said, fighting fire with fire will not encourage understanding.

Let's say that someone makes a homophobic comment. Whether or not they did so purposefully is, for the moment, irrelevant. Let's just say it happens. If our first response is to call them a "bigot" and accuse them of hate crimes, it's unlikely they'll come to a place of understanding. All it will do is rile up emotions and pit people against each other.

If, instead, the first response was to calmly state that the comment was offensive and why it was offensive, without directly attacking the person who said it, the commenter will be much more likely to come to a place of understanding. They don't feel threatened; they realize that they were making others feel threatened.

Let me bring in an example from my own life. A friend of mine used to use the word gay in a derogatory way. If something didn't go his way, he'd say "That's so gay!" or something equivalent. When I mustered up the courage to talk to him about it, he was surprised. He had never realized how derogatory it was; it was just a word that he had grown up hearing his family using, and he'd copied them. When he learned it wasn't okay, he did his best to stop using the word in a derogatory context.

But if I had attacked him, calling him a bigot and telling him he was a terrible person, how would he have responded? I don't know, but I doubt it would have turned out the way it did. Being attacked would have made him feel like he was the victim, giving him an excuse to justify his behaviour.

Granted, there are some people who deliberately hurt others, and those people deserve to be punished. But from what I can tell, most people have no idea of the power of their words. When someone tells them they are being homophobic, they are often genuinely surprised.

Confronting their behaviour makes them realize it's not okay. Confronting them, however, makes them feel like they're being attacked, and that puts them on the defensive, and they start trying to justify themselves, which is what leads to arguments. Calling someone's words bigoted is very different from calling the person a bigot.

Very often I have seen comments that I agree with, but the way they are presented makes me feel uncomfortable agreeing with them. Someone can be totally in the right, but the way they present their opinion can make them sound completely wrong.

Again, I'm not trying to minimize the issue here. I understand many people have been hurt and bullied by homophobic people, and it is not okay. I'm not saying that the victims are the problem: you're not. This is not your fault, and you fully have the right to be angry and hurt because of how people have treated you. Don't misunderstand me here. I have friends whose lives have been ruined because of hateful speech and actions; just thinking about it makes me angry. But if we want this to stop once and for all, we need to start with making them understand. And that can only happen if everybody lets down their defences.

It's late, and I have a feeling I missed something and everyone's going to jump all over me for something I said. I'll just say that I agree with xccj, and props to Princess Grr and the Gender Squad for what they're doing.

teatime!

 

 

In other news, I might think about getting into the BZPRPG. Maybe? Hmm...

I have long dreamed of this day.

I wish I could say I sympathize with you, but there's no way I'm skipping even a second of Neil Patrick Harris. If I could watch every episode twice and still finish in time for the premier of season nine I would. <3

wheee you're gonna have so much fun!!

Anne Hathaway's rendition of 'I dreamed a dream' in Les Mis remains the only time I have ever shed a tear over fiction, be it film or book.

KNEESOCKS

how do I be as awesome as you

 

and also what is the extra cost for honesty, I have a few pennies and some lint here but don't know if that'll cover it

it's easy you just need awesome friends! you're already awesome anyway!

u single

 

-Tyler

if answer is yes

 

do u wanna be?

 

-Tyler

yes.

yes. until october. :3

What are your views on friendship?

friendship is when you get to know cool people, and their coolness invades your life and makes it better.

how do u liek being only exception with several other only exceptions mah son

it is exceptional :=D