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  1. Ever since The Lego Movie in 2014 happened and became successful, it created a Cinematic Universe called The Lego Cinematic Universe. This inspired the creation of The Lego Batman Movie and The Lego Ninjago Movie in this year, which are spin-offs that are based on minor heroic characters who appeared in The Lego Movie. The Batman one is successful while the Ninjago got mixed reviews for some reason. But, it did get very nice comments that you see on TV. Plus, I thought the movie was good. Also, The Lego Movie is getting a sequel in 2019, and there will be a new movie called The Billion Brick Race in the same year (I have no idea what that is). The Lego Movie Cinematic Universe is sort of like Marvel Cinematic Universe (2008-present) and DC Extended Universe (2013-present). I am very impressed with the cinematic universe, so I made this list of franchises that I hope will get their own movies in the Cinematic Universe and its spin-offs that I hope will get their sequels somehow: 1. Bionicle 2. Hero Factory 3. Nexo Knights 4. Legends of Chima 5. Mixels 6. Sonic the Hedgehog 7. Mario 8. Angry Birds 9. Marvel (I would go with either Spider-Man the most or Iron Man) 10. Star Wars 11. A sequel for The Lego Batman Movie in 2017 (there are some unused villainous enemies of Batman in DC Comics) 12. A sequel for The Lego Ninjago Movie in 2017 (there are a lot of unused villains in the Ninjago franchise) So, what do you think, guys? What movies do you have in mind?
  2. Hi, guys! We know that Bionicle is mentioned in The Lego Movie Cinematic Universe in 2014-2017. Here's how that happened: 1. In The Lego Movie in 2014, Wyldstyle showed a flashback picture of the Toa Mata in one scene where he is explaining to Emmet about other worlds while they are riding their horses, and Bionicle being one of them. 2. On one scene at the beginning of The Lego Batman Movie, there is a movie theater label saying "Bionicle Movie". So, if Lego decides to make a The Lego Movie Cinematic Universe Movie based on Bionicle, it would be called "The Bionicle Lego Movie". This would be the first Bionicle movie to be theatrical. It's not like that pre-2016 Spider-Man movies are separate from Marvel Cinematic Universe as you may think. I mean, if Lego decides to make a theatrical Bionicle movie, it would be a part of The Lego Movie Cinematic Universe, and I believe that it's 100% very possible. Of course, this movie would have Bionicle as the main thing, like Batman and Ninjago. Everything in the movie would be made of Lego pieces, but with some Technic here and there. It would also a mix of original Bionicle lore and new comedy genre, like the other Lego Movies. It would also include characters from other franchises as "special guests", like how The Lego Batman Movie happened. Now, here's the question that I would like to ask you guys: if "The Lego Bionicle Movie" were to happen, how would you guys like to be? For me, here are some ideas: 1. Makuta Teridax, the main antagonist as always, gathering every Bionicle villain from Bionicle's history or new bad guys to make a super-large army to invade and take over the Bionicle world. 2. The Toa Mata are the main protagonists. They have to stop the villains. 3. The Toa Mata would be trained by either the Turaga, who were the Toa Metru, Ekimu, Toa Helryx, Hydraxon, Artakha (being), or Mata Nui (being). 4. The Toa Mata would also train the Toa Inika and have them as their sidekicks (Maybe save it for a sequel). 5. Mata Nui and/or Ekimu would have a sibling rivalry with Teridax in a funny, but sad, way. 6. The Toa Mata would talk about some things that were the past Lego Movies. They mention a time where they are visited by Wyldstyle, so that's how Wyldstyle is able to make the flashback. The Toa Mata would also mention a time where they were actors in a movie called "Bionicle Movie", which is how the movie theater in The Lego Batman Movie has the label "Bionicle Movie" on it. They probably would start bragging about the movie. 7. The Bionicle world would have Master Builders, which are the Great Beings, the Toa Mata, Toa Metru/Turaga, Toa Inika, other Toa that we know, Ekimu, Artahka, Mata Nui, the Order of Mata Nui, Ekimu, the Glatorian, and the Protectors from G2. The Toa Mata would mention their visit to The Dog from The Lego Movie in 2014 at one time that didn't take place during that movie, but they would say that they helped repair Cloud Cuckoo Land. 8. All characters and settings from G1 and G2 can appear in the movie. 9. If Teridax needs new evil villains to assist him, he would gather ones from other constraction themes, similar to the Joker in The Lego Batman Movie. 10. For the animation, well, it's like the other Lego Movies, but I don't know about the magical masks. Doing stop-motion-like animation on these may be very tricky, unless it's all minifgures rather than action figures. However, constraction is what defines Bionicle, so it would be hard to do it. 11. If the Bionicle characters are constraction figures, they would appear to be giants to minifigures from other worlds. I would imagine either minifgures being scared of giant robot monsters or the Toa accidentally step on them. LOL. 12. Here's my list of voice actors for the movie: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/24174-what-famous-movie-celebrity-actors-would-you-like-to-play-a-bionicle-character/ So, there you have it. How would you imagine "The Lego Bionicle Movie" to be like? (Note: Please don't say the probability of the movie happening because this is not what this topic is about. This is about how would like the movie to be if it happens. Just use your imagination. )
  3. Hi, guys! Today, I discovered a news about a new Cartoon Network Lego TV show with an unknown air date. This is about a fan-favorite character from The Lego Movie in 2014, Unikitty. Anyone likes her? For me, I do. The animation in the show would be like Mixels (I missed that show. Why did they cancel it? ). Here is the link: http://www.animationmagazine.net/tv/cartoon-network-greenlights-wbas-unikitty/?doing_wp_cron=1494443090.3657519817352294921875 Surprised that BZPower hasn't brought up the subject yet. What do you think, guys?
  4. I noticed this hasn't been talked about much but there is an upcoming lego movie spin off called "billion brick race" that is to be directed by Jason Segel, thoughts?
  5. Hello everyone! This is my entry for BBC #70, "Everything is Constraction". I decided it best that I not fill my entry topic with gobbly-gook this time and just get straight to what really matters: -Main Pose -Side -Back However, I do want to make mention of a new articulated torso design that went into this build. This is really the first time that I have made one so I am particularly proud of it: -Articulated Torso The only connection point between the upper and lower parts of the body is a single ball-joint in the spine. With the column that rises up from the pelvis and between the two rahkshi casings, range of motion is restricted so that the ribcage cannot bend forwards or backwards but can twist on the other two axis with a set limitation by the vertical column and rahkshi casings. It is strong, capable of supporting heavy builds like this one, and provides properly restricted movement. Okay, so anyway: -Comments appreciated -Vote -(Constructive) criticism appreciated -Vote -Likes appreciated -Vote That about sums it up.
  6. | | Metalbeard in all his glory, now with 100% more Bionicle pieces. (accessories and animals included)
  7. Blogged because while I wrote it as part of another comment I think it's a sentiment that deserves to stand on its own: Source: What do you want to see in the Lego Batman Movie?
  8. Who is your favorite character from The LEGO Movie? It doesn't have to be a main character it could be somebody as minor as Gail, Larry the Barista, or even Mrs. Scratchen-Post! Mine is Princess Unikitty! "Any idea is a good idea... except the 'not happy' ones!"
  9. I've seen a few attempts to recreate MetalBeard's film appearance around the net, but they've all fallen short of total accuracy by a significant measure. I looked back through the film and determined all of the differences, created an LDD model, ordered the parts I needed, and got to building. And the back There are a ton of minute differences between the film version and the final set, so I won't attempt to cover them all in text. Suffice to say most of the changes seem to be in the interest of stabilization and economy of parts. His right foot, peg leg, and back are the only parts constructed completely differently, but there are tiny changes throughout the model. If your interested in seeing everything in more detail, here's the LXF: This is the link to the LXF I just mentioned I believe I used the wrong color for the light grey parts in the LDD model, my bad. If you want to try your hand at building the model physically, note that there are a few parts that don't exist in the correct colors. The gears atop MetalBeard's shoulders should be dark grey, but only come in light grey. The chain from his chest to his shark arm should be metallic. I'm also fairly certain that the brackets holding his treasure chest are supposed to be gold. And that's all there is to say, I suppose. Arg!
  10. Main Character: Emmet (although this isn't Bionicle, so no fancy pattern exists to complain about) Secondary Major Character: Wyldstyle Theme: 1) Everything is Awesome...except for your parents, which can be redeemed, still. 2) Anyone can be creative and innovate and be special. The Kragle is hidden in lava in the beginning. President Business has lasers, sharks, and lazer sharks, but he never uses lava, which is a lot more dangerous than all three. Now we know why – if he beat the lava trap, Vitruvius could, in theory, get the Kragle back. He who builds a lava trap would know how to get past a lava trap, right? The passage of time in this movie is the first indication that the live-action of this movie exists. One thing I found to be noteable was the fact that 8 ½ years passed between the Prologue and Emmet; did that mean that 8 ½ years passed in the real world? It’s possible that Finn built the lava fortress as a really little kid, and that’s how the conflict between him and his father over the Lego developed. I find this to be unlikely though; it’s probably Finn alluding to these events in schizo style that kids tend to do, like the other cuts – although it could be an allusion to Finn’s age, seeing as he might identify with Emmet. Anyway. If you look to your left during the exercise montage – why is Emmet’s computer on? Also, he has Windows. Yay for Windows…sort of. This is strange, but plants actually do get nutrition from water or coffee grounds, so I guess the mug for the plant might actually make sense. Oddly, the mugs in the breakfast montage seem to imply that Emmet is drinking coffee, and then he goes and buys MORE coffee? No wonder he’s so hyper. Emmet goes through a couple of the people we see later in the film’s costumes in the dressing montage – most notably he takes Bennys’ last before selecting his own. As we approach the city center, we get more signs: “What part of no don’t you understand?” “Don’t stay up all night.” and “Because I said so.” Trademark of Parents Everywhere ™. Use with permission. Also, if you look to your right, you see a poster advocating studs up building, which is very odd for an AFOL: usually we like Studs Not On Top. Man, this guy is old fashioned. More signs: “Don’t touch my stuff.” “Confrom: It’s the norm.” On your left as Emmet looks after Wyldstyle: an old wrought iron gate. The place where Emmet goes looks like an old castle. That’s where you put valuable stuff: In a castle. With guards. Also: ice cream vs. swords and spikes. Most people would pick the ice cream, except that Emmet doesn’t get a choice. Gravity. The Piece includes a test of temptation to become the true Special… The Piece of Resistance: surrounded by orange crystal stuff. In case you haven’t noticed already, crystals form in lava. Or near lava. Two bets that the scmancy prophecy was to distract President Business from the Piece of Resistance that was very close by. Of course, if Pres. Business HAD the cap, he might have put the CAP on the GLUE BOTTLE and ended the whole thing. But the problem with that is, he needed persuasion to actually put it on; if he had the cap, he might never have put it on – the persuasion, not the actual piece, was the key. Hence the whole story. (This is also true in the live action version that this story mirrors.) Also: alternatively, the “crystal” around the piece was made of dried glue, and there was some lava or lasers around to use that to stick it to his back. Or both, seeing the odd convulsion scene has a lot of red flashes in it. If you look to your right as Emmet touches the piece, you may notice a set of Lego eyes peering out at Emmet. There’s a guy down there that runs the vision blaster machine and the elevator that got Emmet back up to the surface. There’s my theory. Also, you can see a big claw on top of Emmet as he approaches the piece. Annnd there is a momentary flash that looks like Morgan Freeman in Emmet’s “vision”. This movie uses speed to hide its secrets. Rebuilding a motorcycle into a plane that fast is not possible. This film doesn’t do physics. I’m going to theorize that Wyldstyle has super-speed as part of her Master Builder abilities; otherwise all the ultrafast rebuilding she does makes no sense. If you look to your right as you enter the Old West, you will see a statue with butterfly wings that looks like what Michangelo is working on later. These are the themes that shoot past in rapid-fire (click for larger image): Also, I note that black studs seems to be the default background for this movie. It actually doesn’t quite make sense that President Business attacks Bad Cop’s parents, given who we know President Business is an avatar for. Continuing on with the theme, however, is Bad Cop’s final attitude towards his parents in the end: “I have a job to do.” Plenty of the anti-parent theme going around. Also, Vitruvius knows Parkour. Or at least, he built his house with studs facing down so he could walk on the ceiling. Which would logically make all the blood run to his head and make him pass out. And by the way, there are nerves inside your inner ear that give you an innate sense of balance, so even if you can’t see, you will still know which way is up. Which is funny because he can still float/Parkour upside down even inside Emmet’s mind. Go figure. As Vitruvius walks down to talk to Emmet, he knocks over a sculpture of a bat. It appears that Batman is preventing Wyldstyle from getting attached to Emmet or believing that he is a Master Builder. Go figure. Couldn’t Emmet banish Wyldstyle and Vitruvius from his mind? I mean, it is his mind after all. Or he could torture them. Somehow this mind-entering power seems really dangerous to use. Without permission. Now, here’s the weird thing – how did the tracker get on Emmet? It’s sort of implied that Bad Cop put it on Emmet while he was on the train, but there’s a very clear shot of his back after that with no tracker on his leg. So how did Bad Cop find Cloud Cuckoo Land again? The tracker must be invisible, and then Bad Cop made it visible so everyone would blame Emmet. Batman’s song is about “why he’s an orphan.” No parents…here we go with the parents being thrown around again. There actually is a sign that says “Cloud Cuckoo Land”. Blink and you’ll miss it. Which makes Emmet’s statement about signs that comes after it feel really dense. This film actually has a theme going on in it about how having rules for everything is bad, and conversely, having no rules for anything is bad…mostly. This is the ultimate Parent Backlash Rebellion Film, in case you haven’t noticed already…but you probably didn’t. It did get further reinforced with Unikitty’s speech about babysitters and bedtimes…“and no negativity of any kind!” Suddenly, we’re at the adult level of thinking, practically in the same line. There’s nothing to indicate Unikitty’s age, but unlike Emmet, who is semi-confirmed to be 8 ½, Wyldstyle who feels like a teenager, and Vitruvius who is old but never really grew up, she acts like an adult in some ways. She seems to be the real foil to President Business in the story; whereas Prez has a lot of rules, she has none (or appears to have none) while at the same time having like ten... It almost feels like she is an loosely based avatar of Finn’s mom taken to an extreme. (Finn’s mom gets one line in the film BTW, the one about Taco Tuesday, so she seems cool.) Now, the way physics seem to work in the movie, the vortex thing on the side of Pres. Business’ office doesn’t suck people down. Still, on one side of his office, there is a sea, and on the other side there is a void. The office must be on a spit of land between the water and the void, or there must be a dam for the water, otherwise there would be a big ginormous waterfall. Also, if there was any water falling, Metal Beard’s ship couldn’t stay in its position near the tower during the invasion – it would have been sucked into the void. Except we get this cut going up to the office where we see blue bricks against the void, with no dam. You all can make the excuse that it’s not truly water and rather Lego passing as water, but I think there’s a dam, possibly made of transparent bricks or blue steel (this does exist) which is holding the water back. By the way, that explains why all of the cop cars in the film convert to flight mode: they have to in order to reach President Business’ office. Bad Cop has to get there somehow. When Emmet makes his speech that puts all the Master Builders against him, a shark works its way up to the podium, and tries to attack him, but it gives up. Apparently Emmet isn’t even worth getting eaten by a shark at that point. It’s actually a nod to his instruction booklet at the beginning of the movie, which had a picture of a person who was smiling as he was being eaten by a shark. Emmet is sad, so even the shark doesn’t go after him. They have weird sharks in this universe. I hate to break it to Superman, but gum and capes don’t mix very well. Also Lego and gum don’t mix very well either – frankly nothing mixes well with gum IMO. Okay, clouds do not sink or burn. Usually. So Cloud Cuckoo land isn’t really a real cloud. The buildings inside it are held up like they are by helium balloons underneath, and there are white Lego bricks that make it look like a cloud. That way, it maintains its cloud-like shape as it enters the ocean, and Bad Cop could cause it to sink with a bunch of lasers. Aim through the floor, and bingo. The reason that the Double Decker couch stands up in the water is because Vitruvius, Batman, and Benny weigh more than Wyldstyle, Unikitty, and Emmet. This actually makes sense: Benny has heavy space gear, Vitruvius is an old guy, and Batman is Batman, versus the weight of a girl, a kid, and a cat. It actually makes sense. References to BZPower: “If he’s a cool dude like you.” Taking off the hard hats also takes off the tinfoil disguise. I think that Lucy and Emmet were taking a pause to unstrap it while they talk, and then removing the hard hats at the end also removes the facial covering. Otherwise it looks really weird. The computer understands pirate? I think the real reason is that the computer started working though is because Bad Cop stopped controlling it, thanks to Wyldstyle. But it still understands pirate. Very cool. Pres. Business ship looks like a big black Lego brick. Of doom. All evil things must be red and black. It is destiny. As the big black brick approaches, you can see a girl with a Fabuland T-shirt. The termination failed because: …the conduit lost the battery OR …interference from the void. I generally prefer the former explanation. No battery, no termination. The problem is, we see the zap remove Emmet from the wires. Then again, the zap removes the battery from the wires as well. Also, Pres. Buisness is a cool dude for putting the kill bot on a time limit. Although that is what a kid would do, and he is telling the story. Kids are responsible for most of this illogical wacky stuff anyway. *ahem* President Business has evil security cameras hidden everywhere. That’s how Benny got the security footage of Emmet to play back near the end. Why is there a bunch of 70’s tech right in the middle of Pres. Business’ place? I mean, we know the guy is logical enough to skip the lava, so why save the Pac-Man? It’s possible that he didn’t know about Benny though. It’s also possible that the 70’s tech might be part of the Where are my pants? film set…wait, the dude has a relic collection. Dur. This actually does NOT qualify as a Deus Ex Machina…er, spaceship. That is, unlike the sudden arrival of the Millenium Falcon, which was conveniently swallowed by the 300-foot-long mutant venom eel from Bionicle. That makes more sense than the alternative, which is to believe that a giant space thing appeared right in the middle of the ocean. After all, Bionicle is confirmed to exist in this universe. *suddenly regains sanity* Was someone yelling about a spaceship? Now, I’m serious – I saw a Sony Logo at the beginning of this movie when I saw this in theatres. The live-action end of this movie feels grainy and funny colored, like it was shot on a cheap Sony camcorder. Also, since in the theater it was a surprise, the live action sequence seemed to be drawn out forever – in reality, it’s actually really short. 94.2% of this movie stays in the Lego universe in which it started. The only real in-story reason for the live-action cut is to DxM Emmet back into the Lego world. The other reason I think they included it was to make the film more relatable to its human audience, and explain the sudden appearance of those Duplo characters. Still, if you don’t like it, you could headcanon it out – all you would need is a couple of sessions with Windows movie maker near the end of the file, and wallah. But as I think I’ve shown through this review, the entirety of this movie points to the live-action sequence, from the odd time keeping to the Deus Ex Machinas and near Deus Ex Machinas to the anti-parentish themes. It uses the in-story explanation of a kid telling the story to explain some of it’s odd-er plot points where it seems to defy the laws of physics. Plus, the ending is supposed to be heartwarming, and put a capstone on the “parents are bad” theme. Well, okay, this movie really does have a “parents are bad” theme, but it tries to counteract this near the end, especially with Batman’s song about not having any parents, and the ending. The theme appears to be a “parent learns a lesson from the kid and is not so bad after all” redemption story, trying to swing it’s portrayal of parents back toward realism. Sort of. As a kid, though, I would have loved this movie. I still like it for this reason. The problem is that this theme is very easy to miss on the first viewing, unless you slow down and look for screenshots. The show comes off as an eccentric comedy on the first viewing, and so it’s kind of hard to appreciate the layers they put in. Another theme that sticks out to me is that anyone can be creative and build new things. This is the Lego Movie: that comes with the territory. Another thing: you can be the Special. That was my running theory from the trailers, and it was actually true – they snuck it in in one of Finn’s lines. At one point in the live-action sequence, you can see an actual Cloud Cuckoo land Lego set sticking out of a box reading “Cloud Bros. Movers”. Guess where the name “Cloud Cuckoo Land” came from. And lastly, to be really clear, the Piece of Resistance – i.e. the glue cap – didn’t make the Kragle explode. It was when President Business put the Kragle back in his machine with the cap on that the Kragle exploded. So there we go…and enjoy your Taco Tuesday! (yep, this one comes out on a Tuesday, just for the sake of fun. Enjoy! )
  11. I just made my purchase of The Lego Movie off of Xbox Video, and it's downloading 7.3 GB to my 360 now. Soooo I guess I'll be watching it tomorrow night? Anybody else buying it digitally, or are you guys getting a physical copy?
  12. Sorry, no actual spaceship here. But there is cake! I made a Benny birthday cake for Kakaru. I followed a recipe/design from Sprinkle Bakes. I really liked the visual created by all the lines of Pocky. Benny's helmet and face is made out of chocolate, and I dipped biscuit sticks in chocolate to make blue Pocky. I didn't have a cake stand, so I made a simple one out of LEGO (causing the discussion of "does this count as a system MOC that should be in the system MOC forum?"). It was super delicious!
  13. So, I was thinking about writing another, longer, slightly-more-serious Lego Movie fanfiction (after my Comedies Contest entry from earlier this year). And I was bored, and all of a sudden I found that I'd written about two pages worth. Thought I'd post it here to see what people think of it and get a second opinion on whether I should keep going with it. It's tentatively titled "The Courting of Princess Unikitty". So, what does everyone think? Continue Y/N?
  14. I created this topic for people's convenience, so it's easier to keep track of who's who at which events. If you're planning to cosplay as a character at one of this year's LEGO events, go reply there to have your name, character, and event plans added to the list!
  15. This Saturday I am holding a BZPower Lego Movie Meetup at Potomac Mills mall in Northern Virginia! If you can make it and are keen on seeing The Lego Movie with a bunch of other cool dudes, you should totally come!
  16. I made a Wyldstyle cosplay for The LEGO Movie! Wyldstyle is super awesome, and who wouldn't want to be her? For the hoodie I bought a giant men's hoodie and chopped it and reassembled it to fit me and also added the pink lining to the hood. To make the design, I sketched out the pattern and traced it onto contact paper. I then gave it a layer of white paint to help the colours appear brighter, and then added the pink and blue. I have some in progress shots on my phone that I'll upload later that show some of how I made it. The wig is just a plain black wig that I added coloured extensions to. The ponytail was really difficult to create with a wig, I discovered, but I used a LEGO rubberband to keep it together because oops, who needs to own real hair bands? It will need a bit of work for future use, especially given that these photos are after I was wearing it for several hours, so it just all went *poof* and became a hot mess. I am planning to make the pants and shoes at a later date, because oops, didn't have time and we were slightly snowed in. Definitely planning on taking this to some LEGO and comic conventions! Awesome!!!
  17. It looks like it'll be funny, heartwarming, and spectacular looking, while paying homage to the Lego experience. The sets are fantastic and really capture the spirit of Lego creative play. It seems that it could generate more interest in Lego among the non-FOL population. My upcoming meetup will give me a chance to see some of my BZP peeps without having to wait six more months for Brickfair VA. And finally, it seems like other Lego fans will love it too. Not in the cult "there will never be anything better" sense that some people still cling to Bionicle with. Not in the "ha, ha, I like this ironically" sense that some people treat the Hero Factory or Ninjago or Chima or even the once loved Bionicle media with. Not in the "oh well, I guess the kids will like it" sense that the jaded AFOL community tends to view more whimsical themes with. And I certainly don't see the "Lego is doing everything wrong" perspective that I can't seem to escape whether I'm on BZP or Eurobricks, talking about sets or story, coming from revolutionary progressives who feel Lego isn't doing enough or from sexists or racists or otherwise backwards old geezers who feel Lego is doing too much. From what I see, the Lego fandom seems to largely be coming together in genuine, heartfelt appreciation for what this movie's shaping up to be. I'm sure once it's over BZP and Eurobricks and Tumblr will find things to complain about what it did or didn't do, but for now discussion of the movie is one of the few aspects of Lego discussion that doesn't tend to end in arguments or end up written off entirely by all but a select devoted fanbase. And I appreciate that.
  18. The Comedies Contest poll ended in a tie between my entry, The Lego Movie: Primetime Pitch, and Peabody Sam's entry, Scene 24: Johnny Thunder Blows This Taco Stand. So there's now a tiebreaker poll to determine the final winner, to end at midnight tonight! If you voted for one of those entries, get over there and repeat your vote! If you voted for a different entry, pick one of the finalists as your favorite and vote for that! And if you didn't vote, well, you only have to read half as many stories this time, so what's stopping you? I hope to see at LEAST as many people who voted in the main poll cast their votes in the tiebreaker. So hop to it!
  19. Wait. Wait. Wait wait wait wait wait. Wyldstyle is dating Batman? ... I think I love this movie already. GET OFF MY LAWN! ~Tekulo <3
  20. So yesterday after watching an AMAZING episode of My Little Pony, Aanchir, Meiko and I went up to Potomac Mills to see Catching Fire before it left theaters for good. As I expected, it was excellent. And as a bonus, we got to visit the Lego store! My haul was as follows: 70803 Cloud Cuckoo Palace 70724 NinjaCopter President Business Collectible Minifigure Emmet Poster, Wyldstyle Poster (which I missed last week), and Benny Poster Build-a-Mini Pick-a-Brick Cup (including, among other things, more than a hundred each of Olive Green cheese slopes and Light Bley 1x1 round tiles) Uni-Kitty Key Light (not from the Lego store, but from the Books-a-Million which a Lego store employee helpfully informed me had two in stock) Rainbow Dash and the Daring Do Double Dare (also from Books-a-Million, obviously) Meiko also picked up 71006 The Simpsons House to review, as well as 70808 Super Cycle Chase. All in all, a good day. And I'm now the proud owner of two Uni-Kittys (the fig itself and a light-up keychain). It was a somewhat modest haul for a trip to the Lego store, but it was satisfying, and I'll be able to pick up the slack next month when I visit as part of the BZPower Lego Movie Meetup!
  21. Note from Director Steven Spielbrick: What you are about to read is the script of a deleted scene from the upcoming blockbuster, The LEGO Movie, soon to be in theaters. The script was written by Frank, best known for his screenwriting of the 2002 blockbuster The Johnny Thunder Movie when he wasn't writing love letters to lead actress Giselle and crying in a corner in the commissary because he was too cowardly to actually give her any of those love letters. There is some speculation by Dr. Albert Overbuild that this script was actually ghostwritten by another individual who wrote this scene just to stroke his already-inflated ego, although Johnny Thunder denies any of these accusations.This scene was written entirely as a homage to fan-favorite LEGO lines and games from the late nineties, exploiting fan nostalgia to its maximum levels. I promise that only reason we left this on the cutting room floor is because of running time, and most certainly not because of any allegations that I am a cheapskate who refused to pay the cast and crew to film this scene. Scene 24 FADE IN. The shot opens with a low-angle shot of a hill, with dark and stormy clouds in the background. Occasionally, the sky is brightened by a flash of lightning. When filming this, be sure to tell the best boy Eddie to make sure that gaffer Hank doesn't electrocute himself with the lighting equipment again, even though it would produce the desired effect if we want it to look like lightning. The music should be dark and foreboding, with the only other sounds being wind and the distant rumbling of thunder. On that note, make sure the gofers bring coffee to Unit 2 cameraman Nero so he won't fall asleep while shooting again, since it takes forever to edit out his snoring in post. And make sure it's an espresso, not a latte or mocha, because it takes even longer to edit out the sound of Nero screaming at the gofer who brought him the wrong cup of coffee. The music crescendos, becoming less dark and foreboding and giving way to a march that is most certainly not a cheap knock-off of the "Raiders March." Enter JOHNNY THUNDER, who climbs up the hill before standing proudly and triumphantly at the top, fixing his hat and staring off into the distance. As the march hits its most dramatic and emotional peak, complete with ominous Latin chanting, the backlighting turns bright and angelic, as though the sun is rising directly behind JOHNNY THUNDER (again, make sure Hank doesn't electrocute himself), sure to give this scene some faux symbolism that will leave literary critics scratching their heads for years and wondering, "What does it mean? Obviously, it means Johnny Thunder is awesome, but surely there must be an even deeper meaning!" Text flashes at the bottom of the screen, reading: "5900: Adventurer Johnny Thunder available at your local toy store! Only $4.25!" JOHNNY THUNDER: Aces! Good on ya, Johnny! If that bludger Lord Business and his dodgy Robot SWAT Team think they could hold the Thunder himself prisoner aboard that dropship, they've got kangaroos loose in their paddock! CUT TO AERIAL SHOT of the nearby wreckage of the crashed police dropship. Text flashes at the bottom of the screen, reading: "70815: Police Dropship available at your local toy story! Only $69.99!" CUT back to JOHNNY THUNDER standing on the hill. This time, he is joined by the Rock Raiders CHIEF, who climbs up the hill to stand beside him. He is not accompanied by dramatic music or angelic lighting because he is not as awesome as JOHNNY THUNDER. However, he gets to appear in this scene because we're exploiting fan nostalgia. After all, that's the reason why we have JOHNNY THUNDER, BENNY, and other classic figures for no reason other than to make older LEGO fans swoon while younger LEGO fans are confused, failing to recognize their significance. Those poor children. CHIEF frowns and crosses his arms, glaring at JOHNNY THUNDER, most likely jealous of how awesome he is. CHIEF: You know, I did help! If it weren't for me, we'd- JOHNNY THUNDER: Oh, of course you wanted to get in on a bit of the action, Chief! Doesn't everyone dream of the opportunity that they may have the chance to work with the Thunder himself? Well, mate, today's your lucky day! CHIEF: Rather than standing idly on this hill like it's a sandwich break, I'd rather resume our mission to stop Lord Business! But we can't do this alone... we need the other Master Builders. I don't know how many of the others escaped, but I overheard Vitruvius grumbling that the Infomaniac was not present at the meeting in Cloud Cuckoo Land. Perhaps we can a landslide has occurred! BEAT. CHIEF covers his mouth and looks sheepish. JOHNNY THUNDER does not appear to have noticed his sudden outburst, instead staring off into space while stroking his chin. We need a few seconds of silence that will most likely be drowned out by the laughter of older LEGO Rock Raiders fans and a chorus of confused "What just happened?" cries from the younger audience before we continue. CHIEF: Err, sorry about that. I've got a plan for the mission! We gather some resources and... are you even listening? JOHNNY THUNDER: Hmm... let's see... aha! The Thunder has a plan! Of course he does, he always does! CHIEF: But I was just about to brief you on- JOHNNY THUNDER: There's gotta be a map somewhere in Lord Business's evil lair that shows the routes that the police dropships will follow after leavin' Cloud Cuckoo Land with the captured Master Builders. And once I have a map, I can find anythin', whether it's a Golden Dragon or a Green Ninja! But first, I'll need to explore Lord Business's evil lair to find this map, and before I do that, I'll need to find the evil lair in the first place... CHIEF: Alright, fine. I'll check my handheld geological scanner to see if I can locate... Camera REVOLVES around JOHNNY THUNDER and CHIEF and ZOOMS OUT, revealing Octan Headquarters towering before them. Dramatic musical stinger plays. Text flashes at the bottom of the screen, reading: "70809: Lord Business's Evil Lair available at your local toy store! Only $69.99!" CHIEF: Oh, there it is. JOHNNY THUNDER: Chief, you stay here and contact the Infomaniac. The Thunder is going in! CHIEF: Wait! You can't just walk into Octan Headquarters like that! JOHNNY THUNDER: Hmm, that'd be right. I'm so famous, everyone will recognize me the moment I step my foot in that door, and then I'd be taken apart faster than some shonky MegaBloks rubbish! I can't believe it, a situation where no one is allowed to notice the Thunder! Those poor fangirls will have to wait! JOHNNY THUNDER takes off his hat and rubs his forehead. JOHNNY THUNDER: Think, Thunder, think! That one other Master Builder... the one always wearin' his underwear on the outside... what was his name? CHIEF: Clark? JOHNNY THUNDER: Yeah, that's it. Clark. What did he say to do in such a situation? CUT to Cloud Cuckoo Palace, filmed in black-and-white to indicate that this is a flashback and, more importantly, to cut costs of filming. While other Master Builders mingle in the background, SUPERMAN is speaking to JOHNNY THUNDER, who isn't paying much attention and is instead attempting but failing miserably to flirt with WYLDSTYLE. JOHNNY THUNDER also fails to notice BATMAN in the background, angered by the flirting, repeatedly throwing batarangs at him but missing every time. SUPERMAN: If you're ever in a situation where you need to go unnoticed, find a phone booth and wear glasses. JOHNNY THUNDER: Yeah, mate. Goin' unnoticed. Doubt I'll ever have to give it a burl- A batarang finally hits JOHNNY THUNDER and knocks him out of the shot. SUPERMAN and a few other Master Builders gasp. BATMAN performs a fist pump. BATMAN: First try! CUT back to JOHNNY THUNDER in front of Octan Headquarters. He grins and puts his hat back on. If he had fingers, he would snap them. JOHNNY THUNDER: Ripper! Find a phone booth, wear glasses! CHIEF: Oh, brilliant. But where can we find a phone booth in these modern... JOHNNY THUNDER: Well, ain't this a beaut? Have a gander at this, 'cause there's one right there! PAN to a blue police box situated just outside Octan Headquarters. CHIEF: Okay, Johnny Thunder! Go for it while I contact the Infomaniac. Good luck on your mission! And watch out for those landslides - I mean, Robot Feds! CHIEF leaves the shot to contact the Infomaniac. Or, at least, that's what he claims to be doing. In reality, we all know that he is actually going on a sandwich break. JOHNNY THUNDER runs to the blue police box, opens the door, steps inside, and closes the door behind him. JOHNNY THUNDER: Crikey, it's a lot bigger on the inside! The door opens and JOHNNY THUNDER steps out of the police box. He is now wearing a disguise: a grey fedora, a pair of sunglasses, a fake mustache, a sleeveless leather vest, a satchel, and green pants. JOHNNY THUNDER: Wicked, they'll never recognize me now in this disguise! They'll take a butcher's hook and say, "There's no way that's the fair dinkum Thunder. That's some lousy motorcyclist Thunder-wannabe!" Maybe they'll even write a ton of fan mail askin' me to come back and kick this stupid motorcyclist in the hip piece! Now, time to find that map... CUT to the Octan conference room, where there is low lighting and low, sinister music playing in the background. At the start of the shot, make sure the camera focus is on a large map of the globe, in order to highlight that Gilligan Cut between JOHNNY THUNDER saying "map" and the fact that we're cutting to a map. It's supposed to be clever. Then, PAN OUT to gradually reveal the rest of the room, including PRESIDENT BUSINESS and EVIL OGEL, who are sitting at the conference table and talking. At the end of the shot, FOCUS IN on a giant brick-built taco in the room, promoting the upcoming Taco Tuesday with a sign that ends with the following message: "Please do not rebuild this into something that will help you defeat the bad guys." Just some subtle foreshadowing. PRESIDENT BUSINESS: ... but after that incident with the noodles, I've been trying for days to sink Benny's classic spaceship, but every unit I send out to do the job ends up spontaneously combusting and falling through the floor! EVIL OGEL: Those minions are only good for tossing out a window to relieve some stress. You cannot rely on them, which is why you must pay close attention to every word I say. Heeding my advice could mean the difference between failure and victory. Now, listen: when we send out the giant plastic badger, we... Enter JOHNNY THUNDER. PRESIDENT BUSINESS and EVIL OGEL both stop talking and stare at him. When each character speaks, make sure WIDE-ANGLE LENS is used in a CLOSE-UP SHOT. Despite how many films try to do this and only look awkward and uncomfortable, we will get it right! Maybe. PRESIDENT BUSINESS: Who are you? JOHNNY THUNDER: Err, yes. Hello. My name is John... son... uh... Thun... doo... yeah. And I'm here to clean your block. PRESIDENT BUSINESS: Ah, Johnson Thundoo? You sure look nothing like that Johnny Thunder fellow. JOHNNY THUNDER: Of course not! The Thunder is a brave and awesome hero! I'm a mean, rebellious, law-breakin', motorcycle-ridin' Thunder-wannabe son of a MegaBlok! PRESIDENT BUSINESS: Hold on. Do correct me if I'm mistaken, but did you just say that you break the law? Surely, we don't want any of that around here, now, do we? JOHNNY THUNDER: Uh... of course not. I said, I'm a mean, rebellious... err, law-abidin'... motorcycle-ridin' Thunder-wannabe son of a MegaBlok... yeah. PRESIDENT BUSINESS: Oh, good! That's a very good thing to hear, or else I would have you put to sleep! Err, I mean, uh, yes, pleased to meet you, Mr. Thundoo! It's so hard finding villains who are willing to work with me... most of the time, they're just out to break the law and spread chaos. Not like Ogel here, who's perfectly happy with enforcing rules with an iron fist! Or a plastic hook, in this case. EVIL OGEL: Yes, President Business. Mr. Thundoo, I welcome you to the Organization of Great Evil Laughter. That's O.G.E.L., which spells "Ogel". Quite ingenious, isn't it? I came up with it myself! Now, please, take a seat and make yourself uncomfortable while I get back to Business. PRESIDENT BUSINESS: "Back to Business." Oh, that's clever! JOHNNY THUNDER takes a seat next to the giant taco. I bet you never expected to ever read that sentence in a movie script. JOHNNY THUNDER: Hey, mate, why is LEGO Island blinkin' red on that map? EVIL OGEL: Ah, you're just in time to witness the launch of a rocket from the spaceport on LEGO Island! Once launched, it will release its cargo and blanket the Earth with Evil Orbs that will put everyone under my mind-control so I can usurp Lord Business and rule the world... I mean, uh, just kidding! Pretend that you didn't hear that! PRESIDENT BUSINESS: Oh, I love this guy! He's so funny! What a joker! But, in full seriousness, we've got that rocket loaded with a bunch of micro-managers that will take over the world, and there's no one who can stop us! Those Master Builders have been a thorn in my side long enough! JOHNNY THUNDER: Yeah? Well, this thorn is about to take you down! JOHNNY THUNDER jumps out of his seat and rips off his disguise. A triumphant fanfare plays, and the lighting in the room brightens (keep an eye on Hank). PRESIDENT BUSINESS and EVIL OGEL gasp in astonishment. PRESIDENT BUSINESS: You're not Johnson Thundoo! You're... uh... Ogel, who is this? EVIL OGEL: Johnny Thunder! I'll have you sent to the Melting Room for this! Text flashes at the bottom of the screen, reading: "70801: Melting Room available at your local toy store! Only $12.99!" JOHNNY THUNDER: G'day, mates! Thunder's the name, building's the game! And it's time to blow this taco stand! JOHNNY THUNDER disassembles the giant taco and rebuilds it into an explosive escape catapult. The catapult launches him out a nearby window as it explodes. SLOW-MOTION SHOT of JOHNNY THUNDER flying through the air with the explosions behind him, complete with epic music playing in the background. The explosions serve no real purpose, but it'll be great trailer footage. JOHNNY THUNDER lands conveniently in a fountain outside Octan Headquarters, because if there's one thing we learn from videogames, it's that water negates fall damage, so therefore audience's suspension of disbelief won't be broken. As JOHNNY THUNDER emerges from the fountain, the camera is focused on him, although CHIEF can be seen in the background out-of-focus. JOHNNY THUNDER: Crikey, that was a close one! The other Master Builders will have to wait; I gotta stop that rocket from launchin'! But, how will I get to LEGO Island in time? It’s a back o' Bourke from here! CHIEF: A landslide has occurred! JOHNNY THUNDER cries out in surprise and spins around. FOCUS IN on CHIEF. JOHNNY THUNDER: Chief! Good to see you again, mate! Did you contact the Infomaniac? CHIEF: Yes, I did. I'll brief you on the good news and bad news. The good news is that the Infomaniac is safe; he explained that he was unable to attend the meeting due to having to attend some annual tug-of-war competition held over a shark's bay, but he was hoping to arrive fashionably late. By the time he arrived, everyone was gone... the Master Builders, the Robot SWAT Team, and even the LEGO Studios film crew! That's why he didn't have a cameo appearance earlier in this film like you did. After that, he returned home to LEGO Island... and that's where the bad news comes in. JOHNNY THUNDER: That'd be right, mate. Listen, I gotta rock up at LEGO Island as quickly as possible, and I ain't got time for a walkabout. CHIEF: I can help you build a Teleport Pad that will send you there instantly! Even better, we don't need to worry about following any complicated procedures or overly-convoluted mechanics in constructing such a teleporter. We're Master Builders; we don't need to follow the instruction manual! Just... don't tell my Rock Raider cadets I said that, or else they'll never listen to another thing I teach them at the academy, and then I'll be a landslide has occurred! JOHNNY THUNDER: You little ripper! Let's build this Teleport Pad and stop that rocket! Let's hope that audiences will ignore the fact that we’re only using CHIEF as a blatant Mr. Exposition and deus ex machina in addition to exploiting fan nostalgia. JOHNNY THUNDER and CHIEF quickly disassemble the fountain and rebuild it into a Teleport Pad. CHIEF salutes JOHNNY THUNDER as the latter steps into the Teleport Pad. The scene around JOHNNY THUNDER dissolves in a bright flash of light (okay, maybe just this once, let Hank accidentally electrocute himself for the best results). As the light fades away, JOHNNY THUNDER finds himself in front of the Information Center on LEGO Island. Text flashes at the bottom of the screen, reading: "5731: Information Center available at... oh, wait, LEGO hasn't produced that set yet." JOHNNY THUNDER looks around and sees the Super-Secret Police terrorizing the town populace in a lengthy MASTER SHOT. The camera lingers for a moment on PEPPER RONI throwing pizzas at one Robo SWAT, which is unaffected. PEPPER RONI: Whoa! Man, these bad robot dudes are nothing like the Brickster-Bots! When the camera returns to JOHNNY THUNDER, he turns around and meets the INFOMANIAC, who is clearly distressed and acting even more erratic than usual. JOHNNY THUNDER: G'day, Infomaniac! How- INFOMANIAC: Hello! Hola! Velkommen... oh, forget the usual spiel! There is no time! This should be enough: welcome to LEGO Island! Please sign the Big Blue Brick Book and, oh, no, don't sign it, we haven't got time! Oh, this is terrible! We're in danger, Johnny! Not only are all these dastardly robots everywhere, but- JOHNNY THUNDER: A big, bad rocket is gonna blast off from the spaceport, I know. How could this happen? How did you let Ogel build the rocket here? INFOMANIAC: Ogel? Well, then, I'll bet that no-good Brickster is behind this, somehow! That crook is always proclaiming himself to be Ogel's fanboy! Now, I've got a brilliant plan to stop them, but if only I could remember what it is! JOHNNY THUNDER: No worries! I once knew this lad named Zack... INFOMANIAC: Zack? JOHNNY THUNDER: He's a LEGO maniac. And he once told me, "GOTTA BUILD LIKE CRAZY!" INFOMANIAC: Eureka, that's it! INFOMANIAC runs inside the Information Center and comes back out with the Constructopedia in his hands. INFOMANIAC: Lord Business is all about following the rules; sticking to the instructions and nothing else! This book... it gives him strength! We need to stop following the instructions! Think outside the Constructopedia! INFOMANIAC tears a page out of the Constructopedia. Behind him, the Information Center deconstructs and its bricks fly up into the sky. JOHNNY THUNDER and INFOMANIAC watch the bricks as they disappear, then INFOMANIAC sheepishly sticks the page back into the Constructopedia, causing the bricks to reappear and rebuild the Information Center. INFOMANIAC: I... probably could have thought that one through a little better. Okay, forget tearing the pages out of the Constructopedia. JOHNNY THUNDER and INFOMANIAC disassemble the Information Center, manually this time, and rebuild it into a crazy flying vehicle that would probably never fly in real life, but that’s okay because this is LEGO and not real life. As a song that is most certainly not a cheap knock-off of "Flight of the Valkyries" plays, they hop into the flying vehicle and take off. CUT to AERIAL TRACKING SHOT of the flying vehicle as it passes over the Super-Secret Police down below. JOHNNY THUNDER: Crikey! I've got a gut feelin' that those bots will stop us from stoppin' that rocket if we don't stop them from stoppin' us from stoppin' that rocket! INFOMANIAC: Quick, a trick! With green bricks and red bricks... INFOMANIAC pushes a button. CUT to TILT DOWN SHOT as the flying vehicle starts dropping green and red bricks, then a FOLLOW SHOT of the bricks as they fall upon the robots. The bricks block the robots' paths and trap them in the center of the island. The LEGO Island civilians cheer. CUT back to JOHNNY THUNDER and INFOMANIAC. INFOMANIAC: They stay! JOHNNY THUNDER: Good on ya, mate! We're almost at the spaceport! The flying vehicle lands atop Space Mountain, next to the spaceport. JOHNNY THUNDER and INFOMANIAC jump out of the vehicle and run to mission control, running towards the camera in slow-motion, but they stop in shock upon seeing the off-screen minifigure at the control panel. JOHNNY THUNDER: Crikey! Well, I'll be stuffed! Isn't that the friendly mechanic who works at the gas station? INFOMANIAC: It cannot be! In all my years, I would never have thought it would be you... Nubby Stevens! LOW-ANGLE SHOT of NUBBY STEVENS operating mission control, surrounded by Robo SWAT bodyguards and looking as evil and sinister as a friendly mechanic working at your local gas station can be. Dramatic music stinger plays. NUBBY STEVENS: Hmm, I wonder who you might have been expecting. The Brickster? Don't be ridiculous... he's a criminal, a law-breaker, not at all the type of villain that President Business would hire! I, on the other hand, have been working at the Octan gas station here on LEGO Island for all these years. It only makes sense that my CEO would want a trusted employee to oversee the launch of Ogel's rocket! It's like I always say: life is like a skateboard... because you can grind it beneath your feet! INFOMANIAC: Nubby, please, listen to me! You don't want to do this! If you launch that rocket, Lord Business will take over the world! NUBBY STEVENS: I'm tired of always asking why we're yellow and what's an elbow and all those other philosophical questions. Sometimes, the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything is to rule it all! And nobody can stop me! JOHNNY THUNDER: Listen, ya fancy yabberin' wuss. Do you know who you're dealin' with? NUBBY STEVENS: Why, you're... JOHNNY THUNDER: The name's Johnny Thunder. Australian. Master Builder. And the minifigure who's gonna burn Octan Corporation to the ground! You know what? I've got writer's block. Just blow the whole movie's budget on some cool action sequence with lots of explosions. After that's over, JOHNNY THUNDER stands victoriously in front of Brickolini's Pizzeria, with the entire population of LEGO Island (except NUBBY STEVENS, for obvious reasons) crowding around him and cheering. JOHNNY THUNDER: Aces, we did it! We gave Nubby a drubbin' and stopped that rocket! I'd daresay that was the most excitin' adventure I've been on yet! PEPPER RONI: Dude, thanks for foiling Nubby's evil plan, stopping that rocket, and saving LEGO Island! INFOMANIAC: The day has been saved thanks to Johnny Thunder! Let's throw a celebration! JOHNNY THUNDER: I'd be stoked to stay and celebrate, mates, but adventure is callin'! My fellow Master Builders are in peril, and Lord Business is still at large, and only I can stop him and save the world! INFOMANIAC: Are you ready to leave LEGO Island? Thanks for the visit, and you're welcome to come back anytime! JOHNNY THUNDER climbs back into the crazy flying machine and waves goodbye to the citizens of LEGO Island, then takes off. CUT to LONG SHOT of LEGO Island. JOHNNY THUNDER flies towards the camera, and the shot freezes on him winking to the audience, sure to make any girls in the audience swoon. FADE OUT. And now, for something completely different: the boring adventures of Emmet. ----- EDIT 1/14/14: Performed a revision, as per Aanchir's suggestions. Less LEGO trivia (the Boggle Rocket Mk. II, the gameplay mechanics required to build a Teleport Pad, etc.). Chief now appears at the beginning of the story, and the Infomaniac is discussed by Thunder and Chief early on to give some lead-up to his later appearance.
  22. Are you super-psyched for The Lego Movie? Would you like a chance to hang out with some fellow BZP members? Has it been too long since you've visited a Lego store? Well, check it out! I'm trying to arrange a meetup for a bunch of us to get together at Tyson's Corner or Potomac Mills and watch the movie, visit the Lego store, and just generally have a good time. If that sounds like something you'd be interested in, head over to the topic! I need all of your input to make this meetup as cool as possible!
  23. Alright everyone. I decided to enter the Caveat Scriptor contest if only because I'm so psyched for the Lego Movie and needed an outlet for that excitement since there's still TWO WHOLE MONTHS A MONTH OR SO (I'm bad at time) until it comes out. This is my first comedy on BZP (or the first good one, anyway, and hopefully the numerous data losses since my last one mean any others are lost to time). It's also my first attempt at doing one in script form, which, unless I'm missing something, is awfully difficult to format on BZP. But anyway, without further ado, I give you... Primetime Pitch Pres. Business: Good afternoon, all you shareholders, business consultants, and robot goons! I've called this emergency meeting because our dear, good friend the Infomaniac went and said something SUBVERSIVE on his show last night... andgotputtosleep. [Everyone gasps] Pres. Business: But the good news is, that means we now have an OPEN SLOT on PRIMETIME TV! So I want you all to put your thinking caps on and come up with some GREAT IDEAS for how to keep the TV-watching citizens of Bricksburg dumb and happy during the 6 to 7 p.m. timeslot! I'll let this pink thing here beside me start with her pitch. Bizniz Kitty: [startled] Earnings! Dividends! Um... Quarterly reports! Bruce Wayne: Um... "Biznis Kitty"... he's asking for pitches. Bizniz Kitty: Pitches? Like... baseball? Bruce Wayne: Like a pitch. For a TV show Bizniz Kitty: [Gasps and smiles widely] A TV SHOW? [singing] I used to be sad Before I had any friends But now that I do It's always fun without end! Uni! Uni-kiiiiitty! Rainbows and sunshine and friends all around! Uni! Uni-kiiiiitty! Where adventure and sunshine and fun can be found! Uni-Kitty! [Crickets chirping] Bizniz Kitty: So? What did everyone think? Pres. Business: What... what WAS that? Bizniz Kitty: The Uni-Kitty theme song! Bruce Wayne: You have a theme song? Bizniz Kitty: No, Uni-Kitty has a theme song! I'm Biznis Kitty! Stocks! Bonds! Pres. Business: Okay... so what happens in Uni-Kitty's TV show! Bizniz Kitty: Weren't you listening to the song? She has adventures and fun with friends! She grows wings and turns into a Uni-Kitty princess! Pres. Business: I don't remember that part of the song. Bizniz Kitty: And it doesn't just teach valuable lessons about the importance of friendship, either! It's advertising! Pres. Business: ...Advertising. Bizniz Kitty: That's right! As soon as the show starts airing, Octan Industries has to start selling TOYS! Pres. Business: ...Toys. Biznis Kitty: TOYS! Uni-kitty action figures! Uni-kitty accessories! Uni-kitty playsets and picture books and puzzles! Pres. Business: Look, Ms. Kitty. I can talk to the children's producers about your show. But right now I'm talking about PRIMETIME. We can't have a show for little girls occupying our number one timeslot! Biznis Kitty: But it's NOT just for little girls! It's for little boys, too! It's for moms and dads and secretly-obsessed college students! Pres. Business: You... you really think all those people would tune in to that? Biznis Kitty: I sure do! You want numbers? I got numbers! 97! 150! 224! Pres. Business: That... that sounds revolutionary. Biznis Kitty: I know, riiiiight? Pres. Business: Too revolutionary. I hate it. [biznis Kitty's face falls.] Pres. Business: Next up we have Bruce, my main man! Bruce! Surely you have an idea that's... not that last one? Bruce Wayne: Yeah, I have an idea. Pres. Business: Well don't just leave me hanging! Shoot! Bruce Wayne: Okay, so here's the pitch. An eight-year-old child, returning from the movies with his parents, sees his parents taken apart RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Pres. Business: Ooh, dark. Keep going! Bruce Wayne: To avenge his parent's deaths, he trains his body and mind and as an adult, starts fighting crime in the dead of night DRESSED AS A BAT. He uses all sorts of high-tech gadgets and vehicles and his own keen detective skills to hold all sorts of insane criminals at bay. Pres. Business: I love it! Especially the anti-crime message. That'll do great at keeping the citizens in line! One thing though... Bruce Wayne: What? Pres. Business: He needs a name. The crime fighter, I mean. Bruce Wayne: Oh, uh...? Pres. Business: Oh! I've got an idea! So he's like some sort of warrior or knight, right? Bruce Wayne: Um... yes. A Dark Knight. Pres. Business: And he rides around in a cool car? Bruce Wayne: ...Yes. A sort of a... bat... mobile. Pres. Business: So here's what I was thinking. How about... drumroll, please... KNIGHT RIDER? Its dark, edgy, and if I might say, super catchy. Biznis Kitty: I like that one! Bruce Wayne: Actually... um... Pres. Business: But what about when he's not fighting crime? He needs a name that's easy to relate to. Bruce Wayne: Um... Mr. President Business, sir? Pres. Business: How about this? Clark—pause for dramatic effect—Kent! [Everyone except Bruce Wayne cheers] Bruce Wayne: You know what? Actually, sir... I'm withdrawing my pitch. It wasn't even all that good. Pres. Business: Aw, say it ain't so, Bruce! Bruce Wayne: [Holding back tears] I've gotta go... got... something in my eye. C'mon Biznis Kitty. [bruce Wayne and Biznis Kitty leave] Pres. Business: Well. That was disappointing. And those two were my best idea people. Why must replacing all your underlings with imaginationless robots backfire so?! Executron: SIR, I HAVE AN IDEA. Pres. Business: You do? I didn't think that was possible! What is it? Executron: PROCESSING... Pres. Business: C'mon! Executron: PROCESSING... IDEA #1: PEOPLE WEARING PANTS Pres. Business: Seriously? THAT'S your miraculous idea? Everyone wears pants! When you get right down to it, EVERY PROGRAM ON TV is about people wearing pants! Idea REJECTED. Executron: SIR, I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA. Pres. Business: Oh, so you're suddenly a fountain of inspiration. What is it this time? Executron: PROCESSING... PROCESSING... IDEA #2: PEOPLE NOT WEARING PANTS. Pres. Business: [stares in awe] People... not wearing pants... COMMERCIAL: Tune in to Octan TV tomorrow to catch the premiere of Where Are My Pants? Follow one hapless man's awkward quest to find out just where his pants went! Catch it at 6 p.m. every night of the week... oryou'llbeputtosleep.
  24. So I read about the Caveat Scriptor contest BZPower was running in the comedies subforum. And I, a person who mostly avoids the comedies subforum, thought to myself, "Ah, this sounds like the kind of thing I could actually enter." So I did. You can read my entry, The Lego Movie: Primetime Pitch, here. Now for this blog entry to get buried under 2013 retrospectives!
  25. So, in the hopes of kickstarting some more discussion here on BZPower, I just started a topic for discussing the upcoming Lego movie! Head on over there and share your thoughts! Source: The Lego Movie
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