Constructelf

IC: Lytrel Lytrel was bored. "I want to wak up in a city that never sleeeeeeps - huh?" A voice had called out signalling an enemy. Lytrel peered over the edge of the cliff, looking for hostiles. Picking up a pebble from the cliff, Lytrel gazed down at the ground below, looking for signs of life. Don't fall... IC: Yoko Taking refuge inside the dome, the Sky Queen sat down and waited. "This could take a while."

*quoted post edited for sanity* I was just going to ignore you, but then you flung your opinion at me like a monkey, so instead I'll address you reasonably. Firstly, G2 would have to attract and hold a new audience, not just the G1/ diehards like yourself, or it would not be profitable. This requires a simpler world than G1 had at the end, at least initially. Having twelve elements, when six of them are hardly relevant to the plot, is unnecessary world-building, which the new fan would have to absorb or lose the story. So we cut it. A secondary island, after cutting the extra, unnecessary elements, becomes useless when one island has enough room for six elemental zones with room to spare. This single island also has enough room to place many secret locations, given that the current residents are long declined. Therefore, cut the second island. (And Okoto Nui? Poor name) Previous Toa? That's worth a consideration, but in TMS' story they're simply a fanservice excuse. Were we to claim that some of the Skulls were fallen guardians from a centuries-old team of Toa, that could fly, since they're obviously long decomposed. However, by having a previous team of Toa named from the word go, we also run the risk of alienating new fans. Hence we bin that idea for now, like the second island. As for the "final village" apocalypse plot, G2 is a children's story, and as such we don't want to trigger the parents into thinking this is too dark for their child. So the apocalypse and final resistance is scaled back to "fallen from power", where the villagers were a mighty civilization, but have fragmented into tribes after the loss of their leader. Thus, we maintain the feeling of 'dark ages' without scaring parents into not buying for their children. TMS is very creative, and could have real talent, but his G2 story is more like G1 fan fiction than a feasible and plausible reboot for a series that needs to shed a lot of excess baggage to attract new and younger fans outside the cult following the previous incarnation had. Finally, let's tackle the 'issue' of my jealousy. I am 24, almost twice TMS and your age. Am I jealous of something a 13-year-old wrot e in ten minutes and that another 13-year-old messed his pants over? No. Frankly, I've got bigger concerns. I did think that TMS story was poor, but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill. I wasn't seething in impotent rage that I couldn't make you squeal like a schoolgirl who's gotten tickets to a Justin Bieber/One Direction concert. *** ToaMarkSurge, well done at the attempt. I'm sure you had fun writing that, and I would be more than willing to critique your story properly over PM. But, for the reasons stated above, it might need a little more thought if you want to writing it in more detail. "but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill" I know ToaMarkSurge has a "life experience" and "real writing skill". But what about YOU ? What if your Mom knows that your BASICALLY on a kids site instead of exercising, have a job, or something? I do exercising but no job(because I'm 13. I'm not allowed to get a job yet) and I do Tae Kwon Do and all kinds of stuff. Gipsy Danger. How about you stop with the ###### ad hominem and focus on the content of Regitnui's post? He did raise some valid points with regards to the potential flaws in TMS's story. And yet you ignored the actual crux of his argument and started talking about his personal life? Without even connecting it to his writing ability but just accusing him of being a lazybum? Bad form. Very bad form. I am not calling him a "lazybum". Only ONE valid point did I see.Unless I'm reading too much into this: What were you meaning to imply here? And which of these points was the "valid one"? What makes the others invalid? Please elaborate (in fact, this probably applies to a lot of other stuff you say, for from what I observed, you have a habit of stating a thesis but not supplying much in the way of evidence to back it up). EDIT: ninja'd by TMS

*quoted post edited for sanity* I was just going to ignore you, but then you flung your opinion at me like a monkey, so instead I'll address you reasonably. Firstly, G2 would have to attract and hold a new audience, not just the G1/ diehards like yourself, or it would not be profitable. This requires a simpler world than G1 had at the end, at least initially. Having twelve elements, when six of them are hardly relevant to the plot, is unnecessary world-building, which the new fan would have to absorb or lose the story. So we cut it. A secondary island, after cutting the extra, unnecessary elements, becomes useless when one island has enough room for six elemental zones with room to spare. This single island also has enough room to place many secret locations, given that the current residents are long declined. Therefore, cut the second island. (And Okoto Nui? Poor name) Previous Toa? That's worth a consideration, but in TMS' story they're simply a fanservice excuse. Were we to claim that some of the Skulls were fallen guardians from a centuries-old team of Toa, that could fly, since they're obviously long decomposed. However, by having a previous team of Toa named from the word go, we also run the risk of alienating new fans. Hence we bin that idea for now, like the second island. As for the "final village" apocalypse plot, G2 is a children's story, and as such we don't want to trigger the parents into thinking this is too dark for their child. So the apocalypse and final resistance is scaled back to "fallen from power", where the villagers were a mighty civilization, but have fragmented into tribes after the loss of their leader. Thus, we maintain the feeling of 'dark ages' without scaring parents into not buying for their children. TMS is very creative, and could have real talent, but his G2 story is more like G1 fan fiction than a feasible and plausible reboot for a series that needs to shed a lot of excess baggage to attract new and younger fans outside the cult following the previous incarnation had. Finally, let's tackle the 'issue' of my jealousy. I am 24, almost twice TMS and your age. Am I jealous of something a 13-year-old wrot e in ten minutes and that another 13-year-old messed his pants over? No. Frankly, I've got bigger concerns. I did think that TMS story was poor, but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill. I wasn't seething in impotent rage that I couldn't make you squeal like a schoolgirl who's gotten tickets to a Justin Bieber/One Direction concert. *** ToaMarkSurge, well done at the attempt. I'm sure you had fun writing that, and I would be more than willing to critique your story properly over PM. But, for the reasons stated above, it might need a little more thought if you want to writing it in more detail. "but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill" I know ToaMarkSurge has a "life experience" and "real writing skill". But what about YOU ? What if your Mom knows that your BASICALLY on a kids site instead of exercising, have a job, or something? I do exercising but no job(because I'm 13. I'm not allowed to get a job yet) and I do Tae Kwon Do and all kinds of stuff. Gipsy Danger. How about you stop with the ad hominem and focus on the content of Regitnui's post? He did raise some valid points with regards to the potential flaws in TMS's story. And yet you ignored the actual crux of his argument and started talking about his personal life? Without even connecting it to his writing ability but just accusing him of being a lazybum? Bad form. Very bad form.

IC: Yasmin The living room fully inspected, Yasmin decided to check out the kitchen... If she could find the kitchen. Which she eventually did.

IC: Yoko Touching down near the empty pedestal, Yoko looked around at her surroundings. "This place is dangerous," Yoko said, both her voice and the voice of Haruka when she was alive sounding from the mech. "Too open; vulnerable to long-range fire. Yet this is a steategically important position, both for the weapons spawn and for controlling the flow of movement in this battle..."

IC: Urashimako ... "... I'm not sure why I'm talking in this mold Or where I learned this form of poetry But I can see the merits of this mode. I could use it later on; we will see."

IC: Urashimako I observe the spat Between the Head Engineer And the Enforcer; Considering their cases, Analyzing their speakings. The implications Of the Engineer's tirade Soon hit me. I turn To the Enforcer And say to the staff member: "The man has a point. If his words are true in fact, Then this tournament Is but an exhibition Of slaves; a sick tournament." "Taken prisoner Robbed from the world you call home; The truth of this game Has now been revealed to me. Can you truly support this?" "Alas; for I once Was a frequent customer Of this tournament. Ignorant of its evils, I blissfully watched the games." "But here I am now. A fighter, not a viewer; Now a contender. Knowing the full truth Of the matter of this show." "Ma'am, what do you have To say about this tourney And its managers? You did not address his words Of the ethics of this place."

FIST: IC: Eryard "Not again!" Somebody in Engineering definitely phoned this one in. "Need jumper cables and a battery-" The Thornatus-AR flared to life, the engine finally kicking in. "... Huh." With that, I promptly sent the Thornatus tumbling into one of the cliff tunnels, carefully driving it through once it had gotten back on all three wheels. Adjusting the headset I had picked up from the Control Room, I decided to test it out. "Lieutenant Eryard to Control Room. I'm testing the headset; could I have a response?" VIRIQUE IC: Tomo They had just told her to hover and shoot anything that comes through the jungle. So that's what Tomo was doing. "All systems are a go..." The Velika's Vision slowly began rising into the air.

IC: Chiyo .:Affirmative,:. and Chiyo set off on her way. OOC: Who is Yukie asking Chiyo to follow?

IC: Yoko "Flight systems are a go..." With the final checks finished, the Sky Queen rose into the air, the mech eventually settling beside a floating Rahkshi.

IC: Eryard "Hm, would airdropping ground forces be necessary though?" I looked at the troop list one more time before turning back to the map. "We have an individual who supposedly can control ice in this army - KOU-tak, I believe his name is. We could have him make an ice bridge over the cove-" I pointed to a section of the water in the cove, tracing the path of a bridge from the cliff to the field - "and have either Miras or Lytrel reduce the pull of gravity around it to maintain its structural integrity. Seems less risky than the paratrooper approach. Though how to get units down there..."

IC: Eryard "An air team?" Eryard took a peek at the list of fighters. "In terms of fighters that can fly, it looks like Vorzin and Lekona could also contribute to this hypothetical force..." Eryard continued looking through the list before setting his eyes in two fighters with "gravity" in their power lists. "Miras... Lytrel..." "Question. Do Gravity users have enough control of their powers to levitate themselves and pull themselves in certain directions? I've never seen this power before, so I wouldn't know."

IC: Minami Upon this bandaged person's entrance into the Control Room and her quick denouncement of Kopen "Ma'am, as much as Kopen is disabled in her sight, she is our Torosh-uh, our General, and we are the soldiers under her. Respect the Chain of Being, for Kopen has been appointed by this tournament's de facto Great Spirit. Mobility up the Chain for us will be determined by merit and loyalty to the cause and the General, not by open rebellion. Why would we follow you anyway?" Walking over to the 3D map, Mini stared at it hard but didn't say anything. After all it was not he replace to do so unless specifically requested by the General or one of the LTs. IC: Eryard What is she going on abou-oh, right. Monastic order. Still, she has a strong sense of discipline. Let's hope it didn't get in the way of her... "Wait. What are those? I've never seen them before." In truth, the reason why I had declined Halken's offer of tobacco? Not because I was a militant abstainer from smokingz but because I had never seen such a delivery mechanism before; when he had offered them to me, I thought he had been holding out a simple box, much to my confusion. Anyways. "Speaking of these internal conflicts," I said, "Are there any others besides the matter of this 'Naona' that could prove detrimental to the team if not handled correctly?"

IC: Eryard "Sir." Walking into the room and up to the map table, Eryard turned to Halken. "After some deliberation, we came to the conclusion that it may be wise to start out mixed amongst the ground forces, but having our formation arranged in such a way that we can break off from the main force and act as a separate unit at a moment's notice if needed. Do you believe this plan of action to be recommendable, sir?"

IC: Tomo "Huh?" Tomo continued to stare quizzically at Dekako. IC: Minami Watching Kalatin leave, Minami looked back and forth between Kopen and the door. This is awkward...

IC: Eryard Entering the stronghold, I came across Halken and Venga discussing something intently. Something about a Naona...? Signalling the people behind me to halt, I stood at attention in the doorway, waiting to be summoned. IC: Lytrel Lytrel was bored. IC: Tomo "Ooh, a Rahkshi Kaita?" If Dekako turned around, they would see a strangely-armored Av-Matoran staring up at them. IC: Minami Reabsorbing the cloth, Minami stood around awkwardly. IC: Hagah After standing around for some time and staring out at the desert sands, Hagah retreated to the pyramid. IC: Yoko Yoko did likewise. IC: Sudrec Sudrec continued checking out the stronghold.

IC: Mknami A sudden uproar. That ill-tempered automaton again - Minami attempted to catch the disk Turbo threw in a hastily created cloth net. "Please be calm. I believe that is one of our teammates." Even so, Minami averted her eyes from the gelatinous mass. IC: Urashimako "I do not believe That this is an illusion. At the very least, I myself am real in form. 'I think, therefore I am', yes?" I then turn back to The waking, flustered Toa. "Ma'am, be calm," I say. I transmit my memories Of the Host's recorded speech. OOC: for clarification, Urashimako is beaming the introductory blurb into Langmuir's head.

IC: Urashimako I turn to look at The large horde of Islanders That seemed duplicates Of one single entity. This was most unusual. Then another man Beastlike in form and manner Approaches the group. I respond to his statement By asking "What do you mean?" IC: Minami Minami followed everybody else, finally arriving at the Control Room. "... Hello?" she called out to nobody in particular.

IC: Eryard "Good idea. Work with the infantry, but in a certain signal or in certain situations, come together." I nodded, musing on the thought. The strategy that the monastic knight had proposed was sound. "I'll relay your thoughts to the General. Thank you for your time. Unless you guys want to come with me, which you can if you want to see the General." I began walking back to the Stronghold. OOC: ugh... Not in a posting mood...

IC: Kaede Hostile action taken against a Hogo guardswoman. Use of force now justified. Kaede, still invisible due to her Huna, took a few long strides forward, bringing the blade of her sword down towards Arsix's body. IC: Chiyo "Is that building the..." Chiyo craned her neck to look at the building which Yukie was referring to. "... If that is the building... I do recall the Toroshu of Vilda being kept in custody there."

IC: Eryard "Right. Now that everybody's here..." I looked over the assembled group. "We have two options as to what we can do with the mech units. Either we can have myselc personally lead you four in a dedicated armored squad of sorts, or spread you guys out amongst the infantry for balancing purposes." I deliberately paused for dramatic effect, then continued. "Would you guys be comfortable in working as a team independent of the rest of the group? I want to know if you guys will be able to coordinate with each other should we choose to go down that route." More importantly, would I be able to lead them? I was used to getting either recruits fresh out of training camp or battle-hardened veterans, both of which had some measure of discipline pounded into them. These guys? Feli seemed to be alright according to her profile, but I wasn't sure if I could rely on the others...

IC: Chiyo "Yes, Toroshu." Mother was mad at her. This was bad. As Chiyo left the room, she began to panic inwardly, wondering what this would mean for her in the future. She had tried to be a good girl, but no, she had to go and mess up. And now she was going to get it. "Mom is mad, mom is mad..." Some time later... Striding in the market district, Chiyo had dove into the growing throng of people, slicing rather than snaking her way through the forest of Dashi and Dasaka. Her inward turbulence had subsided, replaced with single-minded purpose. Gather all knowledge of the situation. Report back to mother. Serve the clan. Serve mother. Soon, she noticed two figures, one familiar, one... Not. "Yukie. Dashi of unidentified clan. Well met. Do you know of the cause of the explosion?" OOC: Chiyo interacting with Yukie and Masome.

IC: Eryard Seeing one of the beings he was looking for approach him, he nodded and said: "The General has asked me to seek out all of the mech pilots in this army. Thank you for making my job easier for me, Ms. Gemshimmer. He hasn't told me the full extent of his and Lieutenant Venga's plans, but he has left the matter of how to manage the armored units in this... platoon to me." Straightening himself out, Eryard took a few steps towards the cliff edge projected his voice. "I, Lieutenant Eryard of the Tahtorak's Fist, request the presence of the individuals known as RISS, VINRA, and CATATONIC as per the orders of General Halken!"

IC: Eryard "Alright. Will do." Eryard turned to leave, keeping the names if the four individuals Halken had pointed out to him in mind.

IC: Hagah The sounds of conflict. Hagah's ears perked up, and he turned around, galloping over to where friendly fire seemed to be taking place. But just as he was about to arrive, one of the belligerents suddenly disappeared, with mirage moving away from the group leaving silent footsteps. "Traitor?" the bull asked deliberately. Hagah remembered having to punish a traitor once. However his Makuta had insisted on said traitor eventually being reintegrated into the guard. Hagah, though he thought the effort a waste of time, eventually succeeded. He was then subsequently assigned as a drill instructor for a period of time. ... He wasn't fond of those days. IC: Yoko Eventually, Yoko landed besides the tentacled mech, staring up at it. "Interesting design," she called out to its pilot. IC: Minami Entering the pyramid, Minami walked through the halls before coming across a gaudily dressed Toa (Maccha) trying to talk to their army's general. She followed them.