SPIRIT

In an episode of Teen Titans called The Quest, Robin must journey to Japan to learn martial arts from someone called the "True Master" who turns out to be an old woman. So... there's that. He also fights a bunch of talking animals, and that's never explained. It was a weird episode.

It's amazing how 2 months can just zip right by. Okay hopefully from here on in I'll be able to make more regular updates. ---- Chapter 3- Episode 1: Quest for Unity (Part 1) (Kopaka zips through the mountains on a path of ice, and two Ice Shadow Traps come to investigate.) Ice Shadow Trap 1: You see this guy? Just leaving his ice paths all over the place. The guy's worse than Spider-Man. Ice Shadow Trap 2: He's also a total ripoff of Frozone, who is also a total ripoff of Iceman. Tahu: *wearing a poorly drawn cardboard Ice Shadow Trap costume* Actually, I think he's more like Elsa. Talk about a drama queen! Am I right, guys? Umarak: Go! Makuta was clear. We will capture a Creature by day's end... Even though I've literally been doing this since the dawn of time, apparently TODAY is the day it happens. Ice Shadow Trap 1: Maybe he put down a Lure for you. Did you stock up on Great Balls? Make sure to charge your phone before you leave. Umarak: ... I have no idea what you're talking about, and this makes me very uncomfortable about my age. (Meanwhile, in the City of Jungletribesucks.) Ekimu: Your power over the elephants will serve you well, but a greater quest awaits you. Gali: You mean The Quest for Camelot? Ekimu: I said greater. Gali: Balto II: Wolf Quest? Ekimu: How is that greater??? Gali: Chex Quest? Ekimu: Are you just Googling things that have "quest" in their name? Gali: Quest...ion mark? Ekimu: (The Okotans begin calling out in fear as an army of Skull Creatures attacks.) Tahu: Skull Warriors! Which are... brown? They've even got that spiky, brown arm thing Pohatu had when he was the Master of Stone! What's going on here?! Pohatu: Oh man you guys, what a craaaaaaaazy coincidence! *Grabs a walkie-talkie* Attention Brown Leader, abort Operation Two Birds. Repeat. Abort Operation Two Birds. Like I was saying, guys. Craaaaaaaazy coincidence! Ekimu: With their leader gone, they are no real threat unless... (Some Skull Spiders jump onto the Skull Warriors' masks.) Tahu: Let me guess. Unless that happens! Kopaka: That's bad! Ekimu: No, it's good! Makuta is supposed to be in control of the Skull Spiders and the Skull Warriors. If the Spiders are attacking the Warriors, it means Makuta is defeated and the day is saved! Good job, everyone! Director: Look, we actually can't afford new villains, but the script calls for a fight scene here so let's all pretend this makes sense, okay? Ekimu: Alright, well uh... Use your new weapons and powers... against the spiders... controlling the zombies... or whatever's happening right now... Tahu: Okay then! Here they come! Ekimu: Go on, use the elephants! (Onua lifts some rocks out of the ground and smashes them into a Skull Warrior.) Pohatu: Infringing on my elemental jurisdiction?! *He grabs the walkie-talkie again.* Operation Two Birds is back on! Ekimu: Onua, good! Pohatu! Let the elephants guide your Crystal Blades! (Pohatu draws his weapon.) Pohatu: Nice. (Pohatu's power flows through the blade and he attacks an approaching Skull Warrior.) Pohatu: I could get used to these! Hey, if this is anything like Generation 1, I'll probably have these for the next six years! Director: Yeah, about that... Tahu: The Protectors can handle the Skull Warriors! Take care of the Skull Spiders! Pohatu: Fine, spoil the fun. Vizuna: Actually I think spiders are much easier to fight than REANIMATED CORPSES! Tahu: Duh, why do you think I'm getting you guys to do it? Vizuna: Lewa: Come on! Them's too easy. Gotta step it up some! Kopaka: Um... what? Is that supposed to be Treespeak or are you having a stroke? Lewa: What's you talking about? This no how people talk? Kopaka: What? Of course not! Who do you know who talks like that? Lewa: New York mobsters that are also tribal natives? Kopaka: Well, at least Lewa is usually a more secondary character. It's not like he features in this whole episode. Director: Yeah, about that... (Lewa summons a thicket of vines from the ground to send a group of Skull Spiders flying.) Gali: Let the Toa of Water try! Kopaka: Ugh, is this your thing? Talking in the third person or unnecessary exposition? Gali: Gali is using her control over water to attack the Skull Spiders because they are evil and she is destined to defeat them, as was foretold by the ancient prophecy thousands of years ago. Kopaka: Well at least she doesn't get a pivotal role either. Director: Yeah, about that... Kopaka: Oh come on! Well, at least I can guarantee that Tahu and I will feature in most of the rest of this. Director: Yeah, about that... Kopaka: Ekimu: Enough! Leave them! There awaits a Golden Mask of Unity hidden in an ancient temple. Vizuna: Uh guys, we're still fighting here! Kopaka: So, where do we go? Vizuna: Oh my gosh, so many people are dead! Why are you just standing around talking?! Ekimu: I don't know, Kopaka. But you do, if you look. Pohatu: Look where? Lewa: Hahahaha! The last place you'd think to look! Pohatu: The insides of my own eyelids? .... yeah, this isn't working. Lewa: *pointing to his own head* Right here. Pohatu: I don't get it. Gali: Obviously he's got the answers written on the inside of his skull. You hold him down, Pohatu, and I'll get the hacksaw. Lewa: I was being metaphorical, guys! METAPHORICAL! Ekimu: You know so little of your powers. Kopaka: Yeah, sounds like the writers are in the same boat. Ekimu: Concentrate. Lewa: Ahh. I... I see. There's a Creature. Ekimu: The Elemental Creatures guard the Golden Masks. Lewa: Wait, I see something else. I... I see London... I see France... I see Onua's underpants! Wait, what's he doing with the -- Onua: Okay, well thanks for that, but I think that's enough of the psychic powers for today. (Kopaka puts his hand up to his temple and concentrates.) Kopaka: Something's wrong. Tahu: What is it? Onua: Look, guys. I think we should just forget about the underwear thing. Kopaka: Not here. Out there. (Kopaka sees a vision of Melum fighting some Shadow Traps.) Kopaka: I saw the Creature, but something was after it. Onua: Okay, look, I can explain. I was a late night and I was feeling a little lonely so I -- Ekimu: They are minions of my brother, Makuta. Onua: OH THANK GOODNESS. Oh I mean uh, wow, that's a pretty shocking development. So shocking that I think we've forgotten all about that underwear thing. And we can all go on with our lives and never talk about this ever again. Ekimu: Makuta must know something about the Creatures and their power. Pohatu: Does he want the masks or the Creatures? Ekimu: I cannot tell what he wants. Makuta: Look, what's so hard to understand? It's not like I infected a giant robot with a virus, waited 300 years for the robot to crash, captured the smaller robots that ran his brain, kept them outside of the brain for 1000 years, faked my own death twice, tricked some criminals into stealing a mask for me, took over the body of a smaller robot, got some guy to sacrifice himself to save the giant robot I killed, and then took over the body of the larger robot. I mean that would just be silly. Ekimu: I only know that the Creatures guard your masks of unity. And only through unity will you find Makuta's Mask of Control. Gali: And then we can destroy it! Ekimu: Whoa, hey. Why would you just assume that? It's the only mask I'm missing from my collection. Why do you just assume we destroy things? Gali: Um, duh. Mask of Control sounds pretty evil. Best to destroy anything like that just to be safe! Onewa: Hey guys, what's going on? Did someone say something about the Mask of Mind Control? Gali: Onewa: AHHHH, SHE'S BREAKING MY FACE!!!!! Ekimu: You have much to do first. Go. I have masks to make. *He points to Narmoto* You there, come with me. Narmoto: I actually got fired last time, I don't really -- Director: I can't believe you're ruining this scene too! Just stick to the script! Narmoto: Okay, then uh... Sure thing Mr. Ekimu, sir! Director: What are doing? Didn't I fire you? Narmoto: But you said -- Director: Well don't just stand there, it's your line! Narmoto: Alright, but I -- Director: Get off the set! Narmoto: I don't know what you want!! Kopaka: Is that it? Are we done? Lewa: It's like a game! Hide and seek. Gali: What? How is that like hide and seek? Lewa: First you hide and then when the person finds you, they put you on their face. Gali: Who taught you how to play hide and seek?!?! Pohatu: It's a dangerous game. Keep your eyes open! Gali: What? That's not how you play hide and seek either! Tahu: Pohatu is right! I don't think we've seen the half of what's out there. Why, I'd say we're only a few minutes into the second episode of what's out there! (As Tahu wanders off for no reason, a Fire Shadow Trap scurries along the top of a cliff watching the group. Also for no reason. The scene fades to a cliff-side where Umarak is hiding in the shadows. Once again, for no reason. The scene cuts to a gorge as Gali walks through it.) Gali: You're out there. Somewhere. (Gali does several impossible leaps up the rocks of the gorge. Standing at the edge of a cliff above the sea, she takes a deep breath and dives into the water far below. Two Water Shadow Traps scuttle up to the edge of the cliff.) Water Shadow Trap 1: Okay, uh. How did she A) do those jumps, B) survive that dive? Water Shadow Trap 2: Obviously someone forgot to pay the gravity bill this month! Water Shadow Trap 1: Whoa, is that a thing? Water Shadow Trap 2: No, I was just -- *The other Shadow Trap pushes him off the cliff and he lands heavily on several rocks on his way down* -- joking. Ow. Everything is ow. So much ow. My entire life is ow. Ow. Water Shadow Trap 1: *whistles innocently and slowly back away* (The scene cuts to the Region of Ice, or I guess it's the Region of Ugly now.) Kopaka: That thing could be anywhere. Hmm... Okay, concentrate! *He pauses for a few seconds and nothing happens.* Yeah, that didn't help. Oh well. (Kopaka leaps down the hill and the scene cuts to Onua down in the Region of Earth... I mean Butts.) Onua: Hey, what's going on here? Why are we doing all these scene changes? Director: Look, we couldn't afford an actual montage so this is the next best thing. Onua: Is it? These rapid transitions make it really hard for the audience to follow. Are you trying to give everyone ADHD? Director: What? That's a ridiculous accusation! I did not buy up a bunch of stock in pharmaceutical companies that sell ADHD medication before I started making this movie! Why would you suggest something crazy like that? Onua: I uh... look, I'm just going to do the scene now. Director: Darn right you are. Onua: Hello! *it echoes down the cave* Okay, we'll try down here. *He heads down the right fork* Matau: Good thought-choice. Never quick-turn left. Very bad chance-luck. Director: A) Get off my set you were even worse than Vakama, B) what are you even talking about? Matau: It's a read-book laugh-joke from the Bionicle Adventures series! You movie-watch type-folk probably wouldn't understand-get the subtle -- (The scene transitions to the Region of Jungle... I mean Losers. Matau is left for all eternity in the Region of Butts.) Matau: (Lewa rushes through the jungle and hears a Jungle Shadow Trap following him. Oh come on, the scene transitions again?! Okay, back in the Region of Ugly with Kopaka zipping along on his ice path thing. He lands next to some ancient ruins.) Kopaka: That worked nicely... What am I saying? That was great! Ahem. Okay, back to work. (And so Kopaka walks along to the -- oh, okay we're transitioning again. I mean, it's not like we actually expected any story progression in this show. Now we're in the Region of Idiots with Tahu sliding down a cliff to the edge of a volcano. He suddenly hears a rustling behind him. He draws his Elemental Fire Blades and slices a nearby rock with his powers. A Fire Shadow Trap cowers behind the rock in fear.) Tahu: I know you're out there. Go ahead and follow me. If you can! Fire Shadow Trap: Dang it, how did you know I was there? Tahu: Oh, I didn't. I was talking to the rock. Fire Shadow Trap: Uh... (Tahu jumps into the lava and he... sigh... okay, back to the Region of Losers, I guess. Now we've got Lewa swaggering through the jungle as two Jungle Shadow Traps follow him.) Lewa: Here go I! Looking high-low for the Jungle Creature! Marching I am into the jungle! With no one else around, no how! Jungle Shadow Trap 1: Okay, wait. Is he doing Treespeak or some sort of Yoda voice? Jungle Shadow Trap 2: Don't ask me, I got lost like 3 scene changes ago. (A Skull Spider scurries along a nearby branch, and Lewa darts further into the jungle with the Shadow Traps in pursuit. Lewa climbs a tree with... random giant raspberries in it? Anyway, he throws one to distract the Shadow Traps.) Lewa: Ain't much for thinking! *He leaps away* Jungle Shadow Trap 1: Wow, how rude! Once we get that random giant raspberry, we'll teach him a lesson! Skull Spider: Oh cool, a random giant raspberry. Jungle Shadow Trap 2: Hey, find your own raspberry! Skull Spider: Who's gonna make me? (The Shadow Trap pounces on the Skull Spider and brings him to Umarak as he emerges from the shadows of a tree. Angrily, he tears the Skull Spider out of the Shadow Trap's clutches.) Umarak: You waste your time with Skull Spiders?! Jungle Shadow Trap 2: We were also wasting our time with raspberries. Umarak: Do not disappoint me again! Jungle Shadow Trap 1: Can we at least have the raspberry? Umarak: Fine. Jungle Shadow Traps 1 and 2: :happydance: Umarak: Stop that. Jungle Shadow Trap 2: It's a gif, sir. It's set to loop indefinitely. Umarak: I don't know what that means either! WHEN DID I GET SO OLD?! (The scene then cuts multiple times to different Shadow Traps across the island feeling Umarak's wrath and -- Oh for goodness sake, we'll just end it here.)

A winter holiday being celebrated in November? Obviously this can only be the work of... FAIRY GODPARENTS

Here are my thoughts: Why isn't there any English word for the thing you submit to prospective employers to tell them about your skills, qualifications, and work history? I mean, it's either a résumé, which is French, or a curriculum vitae, which is Latin. Why is English so bad at making up words?

Hmm, sounds like intermittent temporary aphasia characterized by impaired sentence comprehension resulting in difficulty verifying the coherency of written information. In short, you have 6 days to live.

Is it the Mask of Jungle? Yes! You win.

1) Open door 2) Yell "come at me bro" 3) Wasps all enter room 4) "Hey look, a picnic!" 5) Escape room while wasps are distracted 6) Close door with wasps trapped inside room 7) Burn down house

Legend has it that splitting head from eye will unleash an evil spirit upon the lands. You must reunite them before we are all doomed!

omg i have so much i should be doing right now why am i making a blog about this okay spirit dont panic breathe in breathe out thats it oh dear how did things go so wrong everything was cool yesterday and now its all fallen apart i wonder if i could hire a secretary or personal assistant to help me deal with all this because this is just crazy i consider myself a person of roughly average intelligence and ability and i cant imagine how dumb people manage but i guess there arent many dumb people in my situation so it all balances out i wish i had a time machine so that i could just be six months in the future when my life is all figured out or even a crystal ball to tell me which paths to take would be handy i dont even care about causality or missing out on my true destiny or free will at this point im sure there are many outcomes that would lead to a happy ending good gravy its hard to type like this for comedic effect i guess many years of typing english class and reading have ingrained several difficult to break habit i wonder if this entry will even be legible or if it will get any reputation points its so weird that there isnt a better name for those rep points reppies repertoire im sure theres a pun to be made but my brain cant make it right now i guess i feel a little better after typing all this and things have certainly been worse but i think thats a poor excuse because i can imagine them being so much better i guess im going to repress that by playing video games speaking of which i cant believe sun and moon are almost out i am so hyped for generation seven im also hyped for civ vi and i would love to play more of that but i just cant commit the time right now and my computer is growing a little slow in its old age i think skyrim killed it man id love to do another playthrough of skyrim too on a modern desktop super gaming computer that would be so dope but obviously i wont have the time or the money for this for some time which i guess is the point of finishing my degree getting a job and starting my career i mean i figure i can build a pretty sweet gaming lounge for like five thousand bucks that should include computer chair tv wireless keyboard and wireless mouse i wonder what the range is on those things i guess it doesnt matter at this point maybe i can set up a receiver closer to my chair if theres an issue man i wish these were the problems in my life and not the bureaucratic quagmire i have to wade through right now also i should probably be studying oh crud and then theres that assignment i have due and dont even get me started on that comedy i was supposed to be writing oh well itll get done when it gets done okay this is probably enough they got the joke now i guess ill just drown my sorrows in video games and hope everything sorts itself out

Is it an elemental creature? No.

As bad as I've been, there's always been someone worse.

Wasn't a Toa of Psionics the reason​ Zyglak are so hateful? He contributed it, certainly, but the Zyglak were never really fond of the rest of the Matoran Universe. Surely if you got a whole bunch of Toa of Psionics who were properly trained in peacemaking you would have much different results.

That would also likely involve capturing a large majority of the remaining Zyglak population formerly trapped inside the Matoran Universe, which, given the fact that mostly everyone of importance were tied up in some way or another due to Makuta Teridax's shenanigans, not to mention that the entire species migrated to Spherus Magna after its reformation, would've been virtually impossible to do. Not only did Toa lack the necessary time required for them to even attempt this, but they'd also be severely outnumbered in the long run as there's currently only around forty of them left alive; seeing as to how the Zyglak were an unwanted byproduct from the process that created Krana, it would probably be safe to assume that their numbers started off at less than half of the combined total of Bohrok the Great Beings originally produced for the GSR before they gave the task to the Bahrag, and for all we know, that means there could be hundreds (if not thousands) more of them running around than the one's we've actually physically seen in the story. As for Orde, I also seem to recall that he royally screwed up said job, which happened in the presence of the Great Beings themselves (likely the only time in their history that all Zyglak were concentrated in one specific place) and could've very well have been part of the reason why nobody has ever attempted to do it again since. I was referring more to the Toa during the golden age of Metru Nui, when there weren't really fighting for the fate of the world and had nothing but time to kill. Largely my argument is facetious. Like the people who say that Bruce Wayne would be better off just hiring the thugs that work for Gotham's supervillains than just beating them up as Batman. Of course it makes more sense to do that, but it makes for a rather dull tale.

Nothing. The Brotherhood of Makuta had taken over the world in the wake of the Great Cataclysm. Everyone else was a little too busy dealing with their own problems to worry about Metru Nui.

Si vis pacem, para bellum; if you want peace, prepare for war. Seeing as the Zyglak hated other beings inside of the MU to the point where they would attack them on sight, trying to put someone through counseling while they're immediately attempting to disintegrate you or kill you in any other manner that allows them to feast on your corpse seems just a tad bit ridiculous. And yes, they actively ate people, according to Vezon, which would make them the cannibals of the Bionicle universe. Reason doesn't help you out much when faced with an enemy that both hates your guts and simultaneously wants to stuff their face with them. For the record, however, the Toa Code really only forbids needless killing, not killing in general. It was perfectly acceptable to do so if there was literally no other way to defeat an enemy, if it was a life or death situation, or if it had to be done to save the life of another. Obviously you incapacitate and restrain them first; it would be like working with any human in the grip of a psychotic break. It is complicated that Zyglak cannot be touched and are invulnerable to elemental powers, but that still leaves Kanohi whose powers include telekinesis, mind control, and forcefields. I mean, there is precedence for what I'm talking about. Orde's original job was to use his elemental powers to placate the Zyglak.

Blog title "Spirit..." "...of justice"

A large portion of Legends of Metru Nui was about no one trusting Vakama's visions but the visions being right every time. I think at some point they just resigned themselves to trusting the visions implicitly, which may have contributed to Vakama going a little power-crazy in the lead up to his Hordika transformation. So when Vakama starts to get visions telling them to abandon Metru Nui and go to Mata Nui, the other Toa just went along with it, I think. As for the Matoran, I think the initial reason for bringing them was a panic reaction. "Oh shoot everyone's in a coma, let's grab the six closest people and escape." But then it became more useful when they were able to use the Matoran to keep the Lhikan buoyant. After that, I guess their plan was to keep taking the Matoran back in batches of six until they had rescued all of them or at least found a more efficient way of doing it. Presumably on one of their voyages (either there or back) they figured out that there was enough of a gap to bring their collection of airships through at the end of Web of Shadows. There was also the risk of the airships not being operational, which would've been an issue since none of the Toa Metru were mechanics. But it is also a bit of a "why didn't they just ride the eagles to Mordor?" type thing. Now the Dume, Rahaga, and Keetongu thing was just how I interpreted things for the A Thousand Years Untold contest, and I'm not sure if that was actually Greg's intention for things in hindsight. The city had no sunlight, no power, and a deranged demigod on the loose. I think the Toa Metru strongly suspected some sort of revenge from Makuta so they were trying to put as much distance as possible between him and them. I think they hoped that Makuta wouldn't find them on Mata Nui, but they were sorely mistaken. Luckily Vakama had the Vahi up his sleeve to at least keep them alive until they could summon the Toa Mata. (Don't ask why they didn't do this right away, that's another Mordor eagle question!)

The Great Cataclysm rendered Metru Nui uninhabitable. The suns had been blocked out, the power was out, and dangerous Rahi roamed the streets. As they made their initial escape with the first six Matoran, Makuta was in full control of the city and had turned himself into a giant shadow tornado. I don't know about you, but if a giant shadow tornado comes to my town, I'm leaving. After they defeated Makuta, Vakama's visions told them of an island where the Matoran could be safe. As the previous visions hadn't led them astray and their city was basically in ruins at that point, it made sense to see if there were other places to live. This became even more important once the Visorak attacked Metru Nui and Roodaka was able to free Makuta. At that point, Makuta simply was not going to allow them to live in the city as part of his plan to slowly kill the Great Spirit, so the only other place they could go was Mata Nui.

Probably the more ethical thing would be to sit the Zyglak down and give them some intense counselling. We already know of the existence of Toa of Psionics, the Mask of Charisma, and the Mask of Light (which can "spread understanding to others, generating peace and trust"), so there are absolutely magical solutions to a very human problem. I mean, it's not like we hunt down racists and exterminate all of them. I think the real question is why do Toa resort to violence when they have all these nonviolent solutions at their disposal. Perhaps the Toa are the real villains!

Jingle All the Way

Arr, lad! With a proper bay of cannons by yer side, ye can scupper any ship ye should spy! Then ye can plunder all the booty ye want! YAR HAR HAR HAR! ... A "camera"? What in blue blazes be that?!

Yeah, I think you're right. Not only did he want to prove his own abilities, but he had just experienced the Bionicle Apocalypse. If you had the power to control time, wouldn't you want to use it to try to fix things after something like that? I mean, what's Makuta going to do? Destroy Metru Nui again?

Ah yes, the ol' switcheroo...

Sugar... Spice... And plastic pellets... These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little Toa. But Professor Artakha accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concotion -- Energized Protodermis Thus, the Toa Nuva were born! Using their elemental powers, Tahu, Gali, Lewa, Kopaka, Onua, and Pohatu have dedicated their lives to fighting crime and the forces of Makuta!

Dear Autocorrect, Whilst I appreciate your wide array of word suggestions, never have I ever, nor will I ever mean to start a sentence with the abbreviated forms of Hawaii, Indiana, or Ohio. So when I start a sentence with "Hi", "In", or "Oh", for goodness sake, why do you keep correcting them to "HI", "IN", or "OH"?!?!! Why would anyone want that? Do you seriously expect me to believe that more people talk about the state of Hawaii than greet each other?! Yours Sincerely, Typing on touchscreens is hard, otherwise I'd turn you off and never look back