Mel

~Author's Note~
This story is the second in a series of stories featuring the Matoran Inika. You can read it's companion, What We Become, here. However, these stories can really be read in any order. As always, I would welcome any comments or constructive criticism. Nuparu is next.~ What We DestroyThose Who Burn Episode Two by YukikoFor a fire to start, there are those who must burn The first thing Hahli thought was this is wrong.She was sitting on top of a crag that emerged from the ocean under a sky full of stars. They were bright and familiar, yet at the same time they did not make sense.Hahli turned around, searching for something familiar in the strange landscape. This can’t be. I’m back on Mata Nui!She took a deep breath, trying to reassure herself that there was logical explanation for her situation. They must have broken through the barrier, and somehow she must have been separated from the others, and then...Hahli scrambled down the rock, nearly falling into the water as she looked for the remains of the toa canister she had been traveling in. Nothing. Cupping her hand , she took a sip of the water and spit it back out. The taste was bitter. She was definitely past the great barrier. With absolutely no idea of how she had gotten there.She gazed at her reflection on the sea’s surface, feeling her Kanohi to reassure herself. Yes, this was the same mask that Karzahni had given her. That had not been a dream.Or perhaps, she thought. I’m dreaming right now. That would explain a lot. Why I’m in a place that makes no sense, why I have no idea how-Beneath her reflection, something moved.Hahli started, clambering up the rock as a figure emerged from the water. Her rational mind told her that if she was dreaming, there was really no point in running away from whatever was emerging from the sea. Her irrational mind didn’t care.But how could I have dreamed up this?The first movement that she had noticed had been the being’s bright blue eyes. And the rest...for a moment Hahli though of the half-rahi Toa Hordika, but no, this-she was clearly a toa, most likely a toa of water. She wore a Kanohi and sleak,fitted armor, yet there was still something different about her. Her body movement was almost too fluid. She crawled up unto the rock as if she were swimming through the air.“Are you going to keep staring at me like that?”The toa folded her fins-great shimmering, blue and silver, winglike things-across here back as Hahli struggled to answer her. (Of course she can talk, gukko brain.)“I-I where am I? Is this close to Voya Nui?”The toa shook her head. “Voya Nui? You’re not going to get there anytime soon, unless you can fly. No, we are on Mata Nui. What’s left of it, anyway.”Hahli blinked. The toa’s voice was starting to sound familiar, but she couldn’t quite place it.“What do you mean, what’s left of it? I don’t understand.”She locked eyes with the toa. “But I want to. Tell me what happened. Please.”The toa stared straight back at Hahli, and for a moment her gaze seemed to waver and soften. Hahli was almost sure she was going to start crying. Then she looked away, and that weakness was gone.“Are you sure you want to to know?” she said in the same soft monotone.“I’m a chronicler. It’s my business to tell the world of the past, to record events so that they will not be forgotten.”“And why are you here, Chronicler?”Hahli felt the toa’s eyes on her, examining her. She squirmed, despite herself. “Because I-”“Because others didn’t want you to know, to understand. What makes you think that I give you an answer when others withheld it from you? You went to find to the truth for yourself. That’s the best way, the only way.” The toa turned her eyes to the ocean, gazing out across it. “But it is also the way that hurts the most.”“And how am I supposed to find out anything for myself now?” Hahli almost shouted at the toa. “I’m on a spirit-forsaken rock in the middle of the ocean without anyway off of it! You obviously have nothing better to do, so why aren’t you telling me anything?”The toa said nothing for a few seconds, apparently ignoring what had just been said to her.“It was mistake.”“What?” said Hahli, still struggling to keep her voice in check, “I still have no idea what-”“It was a mistake,” said the toa. “The entire island of Mata Nui was a mistake. Every plant, every rahi, every rock and cave and river...all just the result of a malfunction, which has now been fixed.”The toa pointed over Hahli’s right shoulder with her-no, where the three middle fingers of the toa’s right hand should have been were glittering, razor-sharp metal talons. Hahli’s back prickled as she twisted around, keeping one eye on her companion.Now that she saw it, Hahli wondered why she hadn’t noticed it before.It blocked off half the sky, a huge black thing that stretched up into infinity. It was too dark to see, but it seemed vaguely like the top half of a statue. Near its summit, something cast a dull red glow, illuminating a huge angular head.“One little island doesn’t stand much of a chance against that, does it?” the toa said.“Yes,” was the only word Hahli could manage at first. Then the questions started swarming their way into her skull. She turned back to the strange toa.“What is that? Who are you? Where do you come from? What happened-”Hahli paused, out of breath.“Am I dreaming? I must be dreaming. There’s no other explanation.”The toa sighed and closed her eyes. Hahli found herself feeling relieved. There was something that bothered her about the toa’s eyes, like her voice. She felt as if she had seen them before, but she had no idea where or when.“We are both dreaming, I think,” said the toa, opening her eyes. “And when we wake up, you will forget. And maybe I will remember, but it won’t be much help. Just another reminder that I’ve lost.”“Toa don’t lose,” said Hahli. There was something about this toa’s manner that scared her. “They keep going, even when all hope is lost, because they have the three virtues to guide them.”The toa turned away, staring at the ocean again. “Do you really believe that? Or are you just saying it?”“Surely you haven’t lost everything,” Hahli said, trying to keep her voice steady. Please, say there’s some hope. If the toa nuva have gone, we need it.“Oh, but I want to believe,” said the toa. “But it’s so hard, waking up in the morning and feeling that the walls are watching me. Knowing it. I’ve killed, Chronicler, even if it was just filthy Makuta spawn. Do your rules even apply to me?”She seemed to be speaking to herself now. “The worst part is knowing that I can live in the darkness, see in the darkness. I feel like I’m going mad, but I’ve come to expect it. And I can’t help but wondering if the darkness has gotten inside me, and that is the only reason I’m alive now.”Then she looked at Hahli, and Hahli felt her body grow rigid with fear. She had seen that look once before in the eyes of Turaga Nokama while the elder had been caring for a rahi mortally injured by the Bohrak.It was the look you gave to someone that you knew was about to die.“I am sorry.” The toa said.“What for?”Hahli tried to stand, but her feet slid on the wet rock and she had to grab for a handhold. Her palms stung. (If this is a dream, the voice of panic whispered inside her head, it wouldn’t hurt.) Nowhere to run. Nowhere but the vast expanse of ocean, from where this toa had first emerged. She faced the stranger, who continued to look at her with that awful, pitying stare.“I will destroy you,” she said, but without hardness, which somehow made the statement more terrible. “I will grind it all away, you innocence, your gentleness, your faith, until there is only myself left.”As Hahli’s mind fumbled for half-realized comprehension, the toa spoke again. And as she spoke, she leapt at Hahli, her fins extended.“Until there is only Hahli.”The weight of the toa’s words hit Hahli along with the water. In one flash of clarity, she realized why the toa’s voice had sounded so familiar.But there was little time for thought, because they were going down fast, further down that Hahli had ever managed to swim. The light faded, and Hahli’s lungs began to protest. Then the shock faded, and the panic set in. I am going to die down here, in the dark, with thousands of bio of water above me and no one will know what happened to me.She flailed weakly, but that only increased the burn in her chest and limbs. The water pressed down harder, insisting.She opened her mouth.Water rushed down her throat, but the feeling was strange. It wasn’t like drowning, or at least how she had imagined drowning to be. It was like the entire ocean was roaring inside her, filling not just her lungs, but her entire body, seeping into her hands and feet and crowding out her thoughts with the sound of crashing waves. She felt as if she might explode with the power that the shell of her could no longer contain.The last thing she glimpsed before the feeling overtook her were the toa’s blue eyes, floating in the darkness like two luminescent see creatures.She remembered how she had first seen them, rising from her own reflection. *** Hahli woke, gasping for breath.She grasped the sloping metal sides of the canister, still inhaling great gulps of air until she became lightheaded. Then reason set in, and she wondered why she had been in such desperate need of air.There was something, she thought. Something I dreamed.She groped for some memory of what had caused her to panic, but there was nothing, just a big blank spot of time between when she had slipped into the canister and where she found herself now.Deciding that pursuing her former train of thought wasn’t going to get her anywhere, Hahli started to look for some indication of where she was. She felt her way against the cool rounded sides of the canister toward the front. On the way, her hands ran into something and she stopped, feeling until her fingers slid around a round object. She pulled, and something came away in her hand, something long that clanked against the floor of the canister. She set it to the side, making a mental note to take it with her once she had gotten out of the canister to see what it was.It might be a good idea to have something to defend herself with anyway.Crawling forward, she groped along for a hand hold in the pitch darkness. However, the lid of the canister moved easily once she found a grip. Holding the weapon in front of her, she walked forward into the night.Hahli stood up, feeling odd. She had to hold out her hands to steady herself. All that time inside the canister must have affected her sense of balance. Despite this, she felt good, energized. The raindrops lashing her arm felt electric on her skin, as if they might leap into the air again.She blinked once, to clear her eyes of the rain.

This is nice read. I think everybody has already said what I want to say. I do have a couple nit picky suggestions. The first sentence should be "two others nearby". It could also be "two others close to him" or "two others in his vicinity." I personally prefer the first because it says the most in the least words. I think you could cut the second sentence, simply because the Skakdi and the Vortix's appearances are shocking and appalling enough that it is unnecessary. I think this sentence could be cut for similar reasons. The Vortix clearly looks horrible, so there is no reason to tell the reader so. Lastly, keep writing! You have a real gift of creating emotion with description alone. It makes me happy to come back to the forums and see so many good new writers.

Awww... :3 Let me just say that I love this. This is the way you write fluff, girl. No over-romanticizing or flowery language, just two characters with feelings for each other. I love how you gave Macku and Hewki believable personalities, they felt like real people. The only suggestion I have is that you could perhaps make the sections of dialogue a bit longer. I like short and sweet, but I feel you could do with a little more meat. It would make the story feel a bit smoother.

This sounds like an interesting exercise...I don't really have any ideas right now, but there's plenty of material. Good luck to everyone who entering!

I am trying to break your heart~Wilco

SOO DESU KA. KAWAII DESU YO. ^^ I'm curious, though. What exactly is the point of being fluent in Latin? Does it help with other Romance languages?

That's kind of disturbing, actually.

I spent last year in Ecuador and so I can communicate in conversational Spanish. I also have taken three years of college Japanese and I am hoping to take Chinese next year. I'm also trying to learn Korean on the side. Yeah...I like languages. If you know Japanese, Korean has the same grammar structure, apparently. The pronunciation is really different, though.

I like the premise of this story. It's a new style that I have certainly never seen before, and I'm glad that you had the courage to experiment. Short stories are good for doing this. However, I'm not sure the effect was quite as dramatic as I had anticipated. Most of your story ended up being a bunch background information on the main character. While it is interesting, it doesn't read as suspenseful. I did not feel in the moment, in the characters head, even though I was privy to his thoughts. I understand that you wanted to inform the audience about your character, and considering that this story begins at the end it is kind of necessary. I would suggest making your characters thoughts more vague, closer to what he would actually be thinking as he is about to assassinate someone. Unless he's schizophrenic, he is not trying to inform anyone specific of his life story. A vaguer train of thought would also make the reader more eager to read your other stories detailing his past, in order to fill in the "holes" that he or she is curious about. And the Latin...well, that's just me. I don't like latin. << Overall this is a really interest idea. Keep writing. ^^

Russia Privjet- Basshunter

This XD *gives you cookies* In seriousness though, probably shape-shifting. It's fairly flexible and useful, and not that easy to abuse.

I disagree. While I do think that bittersweetness has its place (I'm a little too fond of it, as a matter of fact) I feel that an attempt to add "hope" to this story would make it sappy. The characters are broken, without hope, but the way you phrase the story creates a natural sense of anticipation: your characters may be without hope, but I bet that most readers won't. That's why this story would work so well as a prologue, though I think that it stands fine on its own. You wrote in a style that seems so appropriate for this story. Normally, it would come across as overly dry, but here it suits the emotionless state of the main character perfectly. It impresses me that you did this when you could have easily gone overboard with description, and it really makes me want to read more of your stories. I have one little critique: you seem to switch a lot between the first person singular and plural in the first part, but then switch to just using the plural in the second part. If you try to make your usage more constant, it will help the story flow better.

You check the address. It's correct: 142 carved on the doorframe. A set of wind chimes sway by the door, blinking in the evening sun.You pick up the muaka-shaped knocker and give it a few taps. After a few seconds, you can hear movement behind the door. With a groan, it opens. A tired looking, spotless Le-matoran stands in the doorway, blinking at you. "I suppose you're here to see Miss Yukiko. Come in." You step into a tight hallway. Wall sconces cast a soft light on the scene around you. As you follow the Le-matoran, you catch sight of sets of paintings on the walls by some of the city's artists. They're not originals, but very good copies and obviously well maintained. The Le-matoran finally comes to a closed door at the end of the hall. He knocks. No response. When another, harder knock fails to elicit a reaction, he opens the door, ignoring the DO NOT DISTURB sign. "Someone to see you, miss." "Tell them to GO AWAY, Rekki." "Are you sure, miss. They appear to be from the pub-" "AAAAh!!"You can hear a frantic shuffling of paper. "Why didn't you tell me that earlier?!" Rekki steps aside and motions for you to go in. The second you step inside, you are assaulted with papers flying everywhichway, clearly controlled by some sort elemental power. "Where are-AHA!" The papers abruptly settle, and you can finally see the speaker. She can't be more than a bio tall, and her green eyes are intensely fixed on your feet. She hands you a very clean looking manilla envelope, her eyes flickering up to meet yours momentarily. "Um...so...if you would please...ah...look at them in the sitting room? I'm kind of...busy right now..." "Of course," you say, smiling, as she practically leaps back to her desk. Rekki shows you to the sitting room. It is cozy space, home to several bookshelves stuffed to bursting with novels and story collections featuring artists from all around the city. You choose one of the firm leather chairs and turn the light on, opening the envelope. You take the first page out, and it shines crisp and white in your hand. Short Stories What We Become Genre: Dark Summary: For the Story Fit Project, on the theme "transformation". The first in the short story series Those Who Burn. What We Destroy Genre: Dark Summary: Hahli finds herself in a strange place. The second in the short story series Those Who Burn. What We Create Genre: Dark Summary: Nuparu needs to convince someone that he can still build something. The third in the short story series Those Who Burn. Too Early Genre: Angst, Friendship, Romance Summary: Goodbyes are hard, and Takanuva can only tell one person before he leaves, with no assurance that he will every come back. Confessions Genre: Romance/Dark, Songfic Song: Take Your Place by Alejandro Escovedo. Summary: Short Story Contest 5 (Romance) entry. Jaller and Hahli have a talk about the secrets they've kept from each other. A Strange Tapestry Genre: Angst/Dark Summary: Jaller has to deal with a voice that has been haunting his dreams for some time. Lyric Poetry Sing a Song of Days Long Past Genre: Miscellaneous Summary: A full lyric tour of Bionicle, 2001-2008. Third place in the text-based section of the time capsule contest. Shock Me to Life Genre: Romance/Dark Summary: A desperate love song set against the background of 2006. Possible JallerxHahli. Prose Poetry Still Swimming Genre: Romance/Dark Summary: A portrait of love in a time of darkness. HewkixMacku. Free Verse Begin Genre: Miscellaneous Summary: My thoughts on the end of Bionicle. Thoughts Before the Storm Genre: Angst Summary: Malum character study. Hesitation Genre: Dark Summary: Lessovikk contemplates the one slip that changed everything.

~Author's Note~This story was originally written for a contest, but it inspired a soon be written series of short stories featuring the Matoran Inika. I thought it might inject a bit of energy into the newly opened forums. You can read my other old original work in my library. I would welcome constructive criticism you have to offer. Hahli is next. Enjoy! ~ What We Become Those Who Burn Episode One by YukikoFor a fire to start, there are those who must burn. Jaller was sure he knew this street.But he did not know this street. He couldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be here. He had left Metru Nui days ago, and he had escaped the nightmare realm of Karzahni.Or had he?The stars above him were all wrong. Their pattern was different, with only the red star blazing in where it always was. The windows of the buildings were dark. No eyes peeked out to see why he was in the street. Jaller told himself that it was the middle of the night, and no one would care to look. But the windows gaped, empty holes.Something hissed.Jaller spun around, hands searching for his nonexistent dagger. A pair of red eyes glowed in darkness at the end of the street. Jaller froze as the rahkshi walked closer. This was a dream. This was when he should wake up.The creature’s eyes glowed brighter, and Jaller decided that he wasn’t going to wake up.He dived to the side, scraping his front on the gravel. He felt heat on his scalp, but no pain. He scrambled to his feet, frantic to get out of the way before the rahkshi corrected its aim.He didn’t need to.The severed head of the rahkshi slid to a stop at his feet, its once searing eyes now lifeless and grey.Jaller released his breath and looked up at his rescuer. The figure was clad in a dark cloak which shadowed its face but exposed sleek dark red and orange armor. A toa of fire, then. Jaller swallowed.“Thank you for rescuing me.”“You really shouldn’t,” said the figure, his voice soft. “You don’t know why I killed that rahkshi.”He kicked the dead shell, and lifted his red-hot sword. In a smooth blur of red and silver, the top split open, and kraata fell out, sliced in half. “I could have just been saving myself. Or I could have been saving you for myself.”Jaller looked straight at the figure, who avoided his gaze. “You’re a toa. Toa protect others because it is the right thing to do.”The figure laughed. “I don’t know what I do anymore. I survive.”His eyes met Jaller’s for the first time. They were a bright gold, which surprised Jaller. He had pictured the figure with red eyes.“And besides, don’t you ever grow resentful of the ‘protection’ the toa give you? Don’t you get tired of the lies?”“How do you know what I think?”The figure turned away again, shaking his head. “Perhaps I felt the same way once. Perhaps I still feel that way.”The stranger fell silent, and Jaller looked around him. “Are we in Metru-Nui?”“Yes,” came the reply. “If names mean anything anymore.”“What happened?”“What happened?” said the toa. “Why does it matter? Why does anything matter? You are dreaming, Jaller-captain-of-the-ta-koro guard, and when you wake up you will forget. What can you change, when destiny holds you prisoner?”“How do you know my name?”Jaller’s voice was deadly quiet.The strange toa, who had been walking away, suddenly spun and leveled his sword at Jaller.“Because I am a figment of your imagination. Or perhaps you are a figment of mine. Or perhaps we both are wisps in the mind of someone else, only to vanish when he or she wakes. Perhaps we both are nothing.”All of Jaller’s instincts screamed at him to run, but he held the stranger’s gaze, repeating his question even though his voice threatened to waver.“How do you know my name?”The stranger grabbed Jaller’s shoulder and shoved him against a wall. Jaller felt a warmth in his chest, warmth rapidly becoming uncomfortable. The stranger’s sword rested against his heartlight.“You are nothing, Jaller-Captain-of-the-Ta-Koro-Guard,” spat the stranger. “Every injury you have received, everything you have lost, is as insignificant as a drop in the sea. You have not known pain. You are nothing. Say it.”The warmth increased. It was hot now, and Jaller wanted to scream, but he fought the urge down. He would stay silent. He would not give the stranger the satisfaction.“Say it.”The pain doubled, filling him, an immense searing heat. His body was a volcano, and he would explode if he did not release the pressure. He screamed.The pain subsided to a dull throb, a slightly uncomfortable warmth. But it was blessed relief after the terrible heat.But Jaller had not screamed what the stranger had asked. The question still echoed in his mind."Who are you?"The stranger lifted his other hand, and removed the hood covering his face. Those bright golden eyes stared out of a dark gold hau. They were filled with pain.“T-toa, Lhikan?” he managed to gasp out.“No,” said the stranger, and though his voice was barely above a whisper, Jaller heard it perfectly.“I am what you will become.”The heat increased again, pain so acute that Jaller couldn’t scream. His pain was a strange pleasure, a power that filled him with something that only he could have. Yet he couldn’t laugh anymore than he could scream. The pain crushed him, carrying him on waves of heat and light, golden waves the same color as the stranger’s eyes.The same color as his own.***Jaller woke in darkness. His mouth felt dry and bitter, his head pounded in the confined space. He blinked spots away from his eyes. Strange. It was like he had stared into a bright light for a long time, yet it was pitch dark in the canister. It was not moving. He had fallen asleep, but for how long? He seemed to remember dreaming, but he couldn't quite grasp what the dream had been about. He knew it had been something important.He groped for something. After minutes of searching, his fingers found the canisters lid. The air was stale, and even wrenching with all his strength only produced a slight movement before he had to take a breath. The next try produced better results. The lid no longer resisted him as it slowly turned and finally fell off.Jaller stumbled out into pounding rain and almost constant lightning that left him nearly as blind as the darkness had.He would later recall that he didn’t remember the canister being so cramped.

Correction: I will do 2006B, GM will do 2006A.

Great Job, everyone! I would like to do the 2006 Inika Movie, so Spiriah should feel free to pick one now. EDIT: Just to be clear, what I'm writing starts basically at the beginning of Power Play and runs to the end of Inferno? (Dangit...I wanted to do the travel through Karzahni too, but I suppose I can't have my cake and eat it as well.) EDIT 2: I'd like to work closely with whoever's doing the other script for 2006, so we can discuss when exactly we're going to start and end and how we're going to structure our respective scripts. If that is your choice, please PM me.

This is why I love Jon Stewart.

#3

My brother's birthday was last Sunday, so he had a Superbowl party with his friends. They all voted for the Colts... I don't care much about football, but me and my dad always go for the underdogs. And I'm glad they won; they deserved it.

Nice to see you're feeling better.