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GSR

The Kaita and the Storyteller

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You know, of all the things I've been blamed for, this is easily one of my favorites. Congratulations on taking a ridiculous premise and actually managing to make it a heartwarming story, man.

Edited by Strange Festive Xaeraz
  • Upvote 9

All are not the same


But three shall be as one


Freedom in the flame


The end has just begun

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That was an excellent read - it was very entertaining, and I enjoyed the spin on the Kaita. I shall echo what Xaeraz said; it was a very heartwarming story.

Also, it's always nice to laugh all the way through a comedy, so bonus points there too.

  • Upvote 2

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/007lewa/bzpgot/sig.jpg

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Not seven lines in and I already knew this was gonna be a masterpiece. :D That was freaking hilarious! Vakama's reactions being the best of it all. A+ lol

Edited by ~T1S~
  • Upvote 1

~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

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~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to

NickonAquaMagna~

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Very well done. I was grinning and laughing through the whole story. I think Vakama's reactions in particular helped make it even funnier. I also completely lost it when I got to the passages about the cobbled-together Kaita weapons. Of course, it was also heartwarming to see how far the Toa went to play along with little Takua there. It's also interesting how you seem to be depicting Vakama as almost completely making up his various "ancient legends" as he goes and waxes lyrical.

 

One thing though:

The elder kept his hand in the air and stared straight ahead in the hopes that ignoring the Toa of Air long enough would, in fact, rewrite history so that he would never have spoken.

Perhaps a bit of an Okoto-Mata Nui mix-up here?

 

~B~

Edited by Ballom
  • Upvote 1

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Thanks for the kind words, everyone! Considering how grim some of my stuff can get, I've been trying to practice more lighthearted scenes, and these prompts have been great for that. Glad to hear it's gone well so far!

 

One thing though:

The elder kept his hand in the air and stared straight ahead in the hopes that ignoring the Toa of Air long enough would, in fact, rewrite history so that he would never have spoken.

Perhaps a bit of an Okoto-Mata Nui mix-up here?

 

~B~

 

kIHhOtV.gif

 

In my defense, I semi-speedwrote this and didn't have anyone else edit it. Thanks for the catch - fixing now.

Edited by GSR

Hey: I'm not very active around BZP right now.  However, you can always contact me through PM (I have email notifications set up) and I will reply as soon as I can.


Useful Topics: The Q&A Compendium | The Official RPG Planning Topic
Stories: Fractures | An Aftermath | Three Stories | LSO 2012 Epics: Team Three | The Shadow and the Sea | The Days They Were Needed | Glitches | Transformations | Echoes | The Kaita and the Storyteller | Nui

BZPRPG: Komae · Soraya · Bohrei

Blog: Defendant Lobby no. 42

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Brilliant job! This made me laugh harder than anything has in a while--the entire absurd premise, the Toa's reactions to it all, "Takua's" enthusiasm, "Vakama's" expressions...all of it added up to a truly brilliant comedy worthy of its title as the first G2 comedy on the forum!

 

(At least, I think it's the first. Can't say I've read every single comedy ever written here.)

 

My absolute favorite part of this was the conversation/argument between the Toa at the very end. Especially when "Matau" dumped the cleanup duty on Onua and Lewa. :P

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:

 

P.S. It is a bit jarring to go from Air to Jungle, so I don't blame you for this other little mistake, but "Vakama" mentioned Gali and Lewa summoning a hurricane. Though I myself am at a loss to come up with an equivalent combination for Water and Jungle, I highly doubt New!Lewa can have anything to do with summoning hurricanes...

  • Upvote 1

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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P.S. It is a bit jarring to go from Air to Jungle, so I don't blame you for this other little mistake, but "Vakama" mentioned Gali and Lewa summoning a hurricane. Though I myself am at a loss to come up with an equivalent combination for Water and Jungle, I highly doubt New!Lewa can have anything to do with summoning hurricanes...

 

Moral of the story, kids: always do a full edit pass, ideally with beta readers, even if it's just a quick request piece.  Fixing now. :P


Hey: I'm not very active around BZP right now.  However, you can always contact me through PM (I have email notifications set up) and I will reply as soon as I can.


Useful Topics: The Q&A Compendium | The Official RPG Planning Topic
Stories: Fractures | An Aftermath | Three Stories | LSO 2012 Epics: Team Three | The Shadow and the Sea | The Days They Were Needed | Glitches | Transformations | Echoes | The Kaita and the Storyteller | Nui

BZPRPG: Komae · Soraya · Bohrei

Blog: Defendant Lobby no. 42

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P.S. It is a bit jarring to go from Air to Jungle, so I don't blame you for this other little mistake, but "Vakama" mentioned Gali and Lewa summoning a hurricane. Though I myself am at a loss to come up with an equivalent combination for Water and Jungle, I highly doubt New!Lewa can have anything to do with summoning hurricanes...

 

Moral of the story, kids: always do a full edit pass, ideally with beta readers, even if it's just a quick request piece.  Fixing now. :P

 

I wouldn't worry too much about it. The names of the Protectors was clearly meant as more of a nod to the G1 canon, so using Lewa as an Air Toa in this story isn't too out of place. I noticed it myself, but for the sake of the story, I thought it fit. :)

  • Upvote 1

~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

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~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to

NickonAquaMagna~

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You and I have the same ideas for the names of the protectors, I thought Protector of fire should be vakama, likewise jungle should be matau, and earth whenua, and so forth....

Edited by Dragon11603
  • Upvote 1

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This was great. I really like the twist on how the Toa created their Kaita forms. It made for some funny interactions with Vakama and Takua. 

 

Plus, Tahu and Kopaka debating about which 'Kaita' had more strength was funny as well. :P

  • Upvote 1

Everyone is one choice away from being the bad guy in another person's story.


 


pc0lX6T.png

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That flower-sniffing, vine-eating son of a Gukko,

Ummm... since when was that an insult? :P

 

Before I knew it he was convinced you could all fit together like a set of builder’s toys. What was I supposed to do, tell him he was wrong?”

“Yes,” Kopaka said simply. The other five shot him a glare. “What? We cannot simply take ourselves apart and put the pieces back together.”

 

“You’d probably misplace half a dozen of them anyway,” Lewa replied.

I will never take apart a CCBS figure again. Never. Ever.

 

All in all, awesome comedy. Made me burst out laughing multiple times. If only I had the new sets, I would make some MOC-ups of the Okoto Toa Kaita (and the harpaxski thing, of course). And the baby Protector is now officially Takua for me. Yesssssss. 

  • Upvote 1

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I would love to some MOCs or fan art of this. I'll be spending my free time trying to stand my sets on each other's shoulders.

  • Upvote 2

PSN ID: darthlego
Gamertag: SPARTAN J46
Steam name: jumpy46

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Very cute, fun story. I hope to see more nuggets of quality comedic wisdom in the future. 

  • Upvote 1

Steam Name: Toa Hahli Mahri. Xbox Live Gamertag: Makuta. Minecraft Username: ThePoohster.

Wants: 2003 Jaller (from Jaller and Gukko), Exo-Toa, Turaga Nuju, Turaga Vakama, Shadow Kraata, Axonn, Brutaka, Vezon & Fenrakk, Nocturn, ORANGE FIKOU.

I got rid of my picture, are you happy?

 

 

 

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Wow. This is just... beautiful...ly hilarious!

 

Great job GSR! Let's see a sequel, eh?

  • Upvote 1

"Remember when the comics forum had a lot of good stuff? Let's make that a thing again." -Kazi the Matoran

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Congratulations; this comedy actually made the front page! I don't think a comedy's managed to do that in...probably forever...

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:

  • Upvote 1

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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Moral of the story, kids: always do a full edit pass, ideally with beta readers, even if it's just a quick request piece.  Fixing now. :P

I wouldn't worry too much about it. The names of the Protectors was clearly meant as more of a nod to the G1 canon, so using Lewa as an Air Toa in this story isn't too out of place. I noticed it myself, but for the sake of the story, I thought it fit. :)

 

 

I suppose! But name-nods aside, this was supposed to be a G2 piece primarily, so it only makes sense for me to fix up something like that.  It's actually a fun little symptom of how we're still in the early stages with these characters - truth be told, my image for most of them is still the G1 versions! So their personalities weren't quite as distinct from their G1 counterparts as they could be, and I made the Lewa slip without even noticing.

 

That's something I'll work on in the future, especially since...

 

Wow. This is just... beautiful...ly hilarious!

 

Great job GSR! Let's see a sequel, eh?

Well, I'm not sure what a sequel to this fic in particular would look like, but it's certainly not the last G2 story I intend to write! And after putting out some fairly heavy stories for the G1 crew, I'm taking G2 as an opportunity to work on getting a better balance of humor and seriousness in my stories. So when I write up that request for the G1 Toa meeting the G2 Toa, it won't be all laughs, but it'll be a sight happier than the last time I tried crossing the gens. :P

 

My take on this amusing story. Sorry about Wairuha; Gali's legs just couldn't support it.

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/chuckeroo777/Other/img_0289.jpg

 

bless this mess

 

Congratulations; this comedy actually made the front page! I don't think a comedy's managed to do that in...probably forever...

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:

Well, new generation's here. Here's hoping I'm not the only person to buck the trend!

 

And another round of thanks to everyone who enjoyed the story, even if I didn't reply to you directly.

  • Upvote 2

Hey: I'm not very active around BZP right now.  However, you can always contact me through PM (I have email notifications set up) and I will reply as soon as I can.


Useful Topics: The Q&A Compendium | The Official RPG Planning Topic
Stories: Fractures | An Aftermath | Three Stories | LSO 2012 Epics: Team Three | The Shadow and the Sea | The Days They Were Needed | Glitches | Transformations | Echoes | The Kaita and the Storyteller | Nui

BZPRPG: Komae · Soraya · Bohrei

Blog: Defendant Lobby no. 42

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That was amazing. What a hilarious spin on the Toa Kaita. Man, Gali has got some serious beef if she can lift Lewa and Kopaka though.

Edited by Strange Festive Luroka
  • Upvote 1

bBhcfWO.png

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That was really fun, silly, and altogether entertaining! I haven't gotten too much into Gen 2 yet, but maybe I'll check it out in more detail now. This is a great way of referencing Gen 1, making fun of its sillier aspects, while at the same time working with Gen 2 in a creative way. Very good job indeed!

 

:akaku: X-Ray :akaku:

  • Upvote 1

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
- Ecclesiastes 4:12

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