The Stanley Thread

[Not Quite Dead]

He felt as if he had entered an endless recursion of time, his phone rings

[The UltimoScorp]

Stanley decided to answer his phone, perhaps someone had simply forgotten to tell him about the change, and had only recently remembered to call him.

[Chro]

Before Stanley could answer the phone, he hit the ground.

[shadow pridak money gang]

Tired of being killed and painfully revived, Stanley slowly began to realize the narrator's ~dulcet tones~ were echoing in his head, like a splinter in his mind, and began trying to tear apart the fabric of the game itself.

 

-Tyler

[Voltex]

As he tore the fabric of the game apart, Stanley realized it was not one narrator speaking in his mind, but rather several. His mind instantly snapped under the pressure.

[The UltimoScorp]

In Stanley's broken mind, a story began to take place. An island paradise, villages, a shadowy villain. And six noble heroes.

 

Truly a masterpiece.

[shadow pridak money gang]

in the time, before time

 

-Tyler

[Portalfig]

There was a land, also before time, that Stanley saw

[The UltimoScorp]

A great spirit descended from the heavens, carrying beings known as the Matoran.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

And Stanley was not one of them, so he was banished to live on a comet. For nights aplenty, he drifted in space, holding his breath. When Earth came beneath him, he jumped. He couldn't wait to tell all of his adventures and the Titan he witnessed... until he suffocated to death upon leaving the fantastic oxygen rich celestial snowball.

 

 

An amnesiac Stanley stood up from his chair, in his office, and sought his coworkers. He headed in the direction to his boss to see what had happened. It was then, after a long walk through the enormous building, Stanley stood in front of two doors.

 

Stanley walked through the right one.

[IcarusBen]

As Stanley travelled through the left door, he wondered if he was going the right way.

 

Stanley passed by the broom closet, paying it no heed.

[Voltex]

Stanley paused, having second thoughts, and decided to enter the broom closet. He did not notice the lock clicking into place behind him.

[shadow pridak money gang]

The broom closet gave Stanley a Nimbus Two Thousand.

 

-Tyler

[The UltimoScorp]

Unfortunately, he was still stuck in the broom closet.

 

The light flickered and died, leaving Stanley in the dark.

[Chro]

Stanley flickered and died, leaving the dark broom closet.

[shadow pridak money gang]

Stanley, after a time, began to decompose.

 

-Tyler

[The UltimoScorp]

It was really quite smelly, and everyone stayed far away from the broom closet from that day forward.

[Chro]

Had Stanley been alive, he would have been shocked by the apparent existence of his coworkers. But he wasn't.

[shadow pridak money gang]

Alive, that is...granted, he wasn't shocked, either, but only because he wasn't alive.

 

In fact, a fly was crawling over his open, focusless eyeball even as I type.

 

-Tyler

[Voltex]

Stanley awoke, and for a moment wondered how he was still alive - but then he realized that his consciousness had merely consumed the mind of a goldfish in the office of his boss.

[IcarusBen]

Because I'm lazy, Stanley suddenly was revived. As he reached his boss's office, he found a strange keypad. What could it possibly lead to? What Stanley could not have known was that the keypad had a secret code, and that code was two-eight-four-seven.

 

Yes, however would he figure out the code was two-eight-four-seven?

 

It's sad that he'll never figure out the code, TWO-EIGHT-FOUR-SEVEN.

[shadow pridak money gang]

A bird crapped on the office window twice, Stanley said "eww" eight times, took four different turns looking for cleaning supplies, and wandered down an elevator shaft not looking where he was going - seven times.

 

-Tyler

[The UltimoScorp]

Stanley awoke from a terrible dream, in which all his coworkers were gone, and he was relatively sure he'd died several times. He had fallen asleep at work, and that simply would not do. So, he stood from his desk, and left his office to get some coffee.

[Voltex]

Stanley spilled his coffee all over his beautiful white shirt.

[IcarusBen]

As Stanley asked someone for a napkin, he realized that all his coworkers were gone. What could it-

 

No... We've done this before. It's dull.

 

Here's what I'll do. Stanley, do you want to be a spaceman? Here you go.

 

You're in a spaceship! Now, go forth and travel the galaxy and... wait... Nah... We'll give your ship phasers and photon torpedoes, and... ah, here we go. From the Space Monthly catalog, a Xindi-Reptili... no... How about a Romulan war... no, not that either...

 

Ah, here we go. How would the NX-01 fare up against Generic Spaceship no.9? 

 

Enterprise, launch! Stanley, don't die here. I'm rooting for you.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

Stanley's mind was mesmerized by the light show of flood lights and plasma dart to and fro their respective sources. He heard a ringing, like a communication console beckoning his attention it grew louder and louder until the reality around popped into darkness. With peepers unfolding, dim light braced before. It was small, green, and repetitive in it's blinking pattern. And noise broke through, the very one that tore his mind in the astral plains of his little cranial lobe tunnels: ringing. But it wasn't just any ringing: it was phone ringing! Yes, of course! It was the phone all along! Stanley then realized that he had been sleeping on the job, and he decided to pick up the phone. A feminine voice whose vocal chords had been tainted by tobacco for years on end spoke as such:

 

"You want yo' utensil, come an' get it!"

 

Confused, Stanley darted his head and peepers around and about his office, until he realized what was missing. What was missing, was his special pen. He had always had that pen, and when stressed he licked it's 'creamy' center out of top. People always tried to take his pen, all throughout his life. He would never have it, barking at them like the mad little man he was when someone wanted to see his old special pen. He desired it. He needed it. He craved it so. So Stanley fixed his bed-head hair and scrapped off his dried up spit and opened his door. He approached one of his coworkers, who described a cleaning lady, one that was dark in tint and hailed from the Caribbean yonder. She left not too long ago, he raced out of the office and opened the front door, panting from the flights of steps and small tumbles he undertook.

 

There! He spotted the lady flipping the pen through her fingers like an entertainers baton. He saw three things before him that he could use to get his pen back, but he didn't know which to pick; time was running short, so Stanley needed to choose right away!

[Ghidora131]

Stanley chose impaling the lady, ripping her heart out, and writing "sorry" on it with the pen.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

Stanley then cleaned his pen of ink and blood with his tongue, the ink giving him a high and the blood giving him the jitters. Losing his mind at such a violation of privacy, Stanley then bit a chunk out of the heart, threw the heart at a bypassing individual, then spat the ripped out heart piece at another person.

 

Something peculiar happened then and there: as people taped him with their phones and the colorful lights flickered and darted about yonder asphalt rivers, the heart pieces became anthropomorphic cardiac smurfs and Irish jigged in anger towards dear Stanley. Multiplied they did, by baker's dozens aplenty, akin to their singled celled midget-equivalents.

[Toru Nui]

Stanley then fell through a hole in the ground, and met the Narrators.

 

As in us.

[The UltimoScorp]

"Who are you all?!" He asked, frightened by the sudden appearance of so many people who were staring very intently at him.

[Not Quite Dead]

"We're you." We replied in unison.

[McNugget]

Stanley then proceeded to say "But I'm Me! Not all of you!" he took his phone out of his Pocket, and threw it at the Narrators.

[Xabla]

Stanley then proceeded to say "But I'm Me! Not all of you!" he took his phone out of his Pocket, and threw it at the Narrators.

The Narrators killed Stanley. He floated to Heaven, which he found empty.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

Stanley awoke. What he thought to be heaven was actually a bright light right in front of his face. He rolled off of the platform and discovered that not only was he on a steel table, but a grey-tiled room with two wall-spanning mirrors on opposite sides of the room; as well as a trapdoor on the ceiling and two cameras on the opposite sides of the room (the camera's being in black glass bubbles on the ceiling). Stanley took a moment to absorb everything in front of him as he back up against a wall.

[Xabla]

Stanley awoke. What he thought to be heaven was actually a bright light right in front of his face. He rolled off of the platform and discovered that not only was he on a steel table, but a grey-tiled room with two wall-spanning mirrors on opposite sides of the room; as well as a trapdoor on the ceiling and two cameras on the opposite sides of the room (the camera's being in black glass bubbles on the ceiling). Stanley took a moment to absorb everything in front of him as he back up against a wall.

Stanley walks through the mirror. He finds a computer, where he created a BZPower account.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

Walks through the mirror? How? Did he break it? OR is he in possession of some serious abilities! Maybe that is why Stanley is inside of this government mutant testing facility.

[Jobber]

Whilst in the government mutant testing facility, Stanley had his head and appendages replaced with cow tails. 

[McNugget]

Stanley walked through the Left door to his apartment, instead of the Right door that lead to the Mutant Government Testing Facility Testing Room