The Corrupt-A-Wish Game!

[Axilus Prime]

Granted, but you're the lamest one.I wish I could get way more money without being obsessed with it.

[Haecceity]

Granted, but you are murdered in your sleep for it.I wish for a live Thylacine.

[Miku Hatsune]

You get a skull by mistake.I wish for an arrow.

[Haecceity]

You are impaled by several arrows. I wish the world was dark and twisted.

[Protodite Karzahni]

Granted, but not in the good and fun, morally twisted manner you're wishing for. All that's happened is visibility is fairly low and getting round is difficult because you keep walking in loops.I wish I had the true Necronomicon.

[Haecceity]

Granted, but due to your forbidden knowledge, you meet with a terrible fate.I wish for pyrokinetic abilities.

[Dwanny]

Granted, but the genie failed to comprehend your wish, so now you're stuck with fridge-magnetic abilities.I wish i was a frozen banana.

[Haecceity]

Granted, but as you are a banana, you live your life in fear of the day you will be eaten.I wish that the forums would never go down.

[Dwanny]

Granted. Now the forums go up.I wish my cat would stop attacking me.

[Protodite Karzahni]

Granted, but your cat now attacks everyone else. It goes on a clawing rampage terrifying millions of citizens around the country in which you live.I wish I my phone had a longer battery life.

[Dwanny]

Granted, but somehow the battery in your phone comes to life, deserts your phone and joins up with the evil people who were responsible for the mass effect 3 ending.I wish i was a magician o3o

[Protodite Karzahni]

...Bioware?Wish granted, but you're turned into a Spellcaster-type Yu-Gi-Oh card first. You have 100 ATK and 100 DEF and you are a normal type. You have no relevance and are the card that makes people groan with irritation when they pull it out of a booster pack.I wish I could improve my drawing skills fast and easily.

[The Swimming Beard]

Granted, but they decrease at the same rate.I wish I could get my BZPRPG character Hantak out of jail.

[PutYaGunsOn]

You're a "magician", that is, you're one of those guys that does parlor tricks that everyone and their dog already knows how to do. (Y'know, putting people in boxes and "sawing them in half", etc)Edit: Oh...beaten again. Anyway, ToSJ, he gets out of jail, but during his travels, he lands on the "Go To Jail" space on a Monopoly board, thus sending him back. And you have no Get Out Of Jail Free cards.I wish I had a theme song written for me.

Edited May 19, 2012 by Shinken Green

[Haecceity]

Granted, but it causes everyone to go insane and kill you.I wish that everything was 2–dimensional.

[Akamai921]

Granted; all issues in our world now lack depth, and are much easier to resolve.I wish my belly felt this good all the time.

[Haecceity]

Granted, but you lose the ability to feel pleasure due to feeling it constantly.I wish for an axe.

[Protodite Karzahni]

Granted, but it materialises in your back. Death is imminent.I wish I was the God of war.

[Haecceity]

Granted, but you materialize in a world of peace, and cease to exist. I wish that kraata were real.

[PutYaGunsOn]

C'mon, man, you're making this easy. Kraata are real, and one latches onto your face and you're a slave to some random Makuta that abuses you, and eventually feeds you to his Rahkshi. I wish I had Lhikan's swords.

[Haecceity]

You get crushed by them, as they are scaled for use by the MU Robot.I wish for omniscience.

[Sejuani]

Granted, but you can only see every cat photo on the internet, nothing else.I wish to be Dovahkiin.

[Axilus Prime]

Granted, but then you miss your old life.I wish the world would be cleansed of corruption.

[Sejuani]

Granted, but then an alien race appears on Earth and reintroduces the innocent humans to the concept of evil.I wish I had a laser-shooting piranha.

[Mushy the Mushroom]

(Removed.)

Edited September 21, 2020 by Mushy the Mushroom

[Axilus Prime]

Lots of people post here already, so they post too much and overload it until COT is removed. I wish I could watch Avengers.

[Haecceity]

While watching it, you suddenly have a seizure.I wish I had joined BZP in 2002

[Vandenreich]

Granted however you are banned two minutes later.I wish I knew who made Pizza.

[Axilus Prime]

Granted, but you can't have any.I wish I could have some.

[Space: Ocean of Awe]

It's been in the garbage for two weeks...an it's topped with anchovies.I wish I had me own secret room, which nobody knew about but me.=)

[Haecceity]

You are locked in, and live out the remainder of your life in misery.I wish for the ability to control shadow.

[Sejuani]

Granted, but you are in a world made up of nothing but light and therefore cease to exist.I wish every bullet I shoot in any video game would be a headshot.

[Klak]

You shoot headshots. At all your allies that is.I wish he didn't forget to turn off friendly fire!

[Overlord]

Granted, but he turns on unfriendly water and you are drowned along with almost everything else in the way.[/badpun]I wish I had all the BIONICLE accessory tubs released from 2003 through 2006.~

~

[Haecceity]

Granted, but the containers are full of ammonia.I wish that Greg would update.

[Taka Nuvia]

Granted, but the update is not what you expectd: Zombies. Sparkly zombies everywhere! D=I wish I were a sparkling zombie! ^3^

[Haecceity]

You are attacked by an angry anti-sparkles mob.I wish for a normal, harmless marshmallow.

[Space: Ocean of Awe]

This normal, harmless marshmallow is saturated in the most deadly poison known to man. And there's no antidote.I wish I had my own secret room which only I know about, and it's impossible for me to get locked inside or outside, I can come and go as I please, and control everything in the room with my mind or body (whichever I prefer). And when I am in it, I am invincible.=)

[Overlord]

Outside the room, you are killed by a falling secret room that does not belong to you.I wish I had my own internets.[/wrong]~

~

[Haecceity]

Granted, but you die, and all your internets are auctioned off.I wish that my cat was quiet.