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How Would YOU Write G2?


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Imagine this hypothetical scenario; you've just been hired by LEGO to write a new storyline for their upcoming reboot of BIONICLE. You've read their little summary of the previous generation and you think to yourself "say, this story had a cliffhanger. Let's fix that!"

 

Then LEGO gives you a small list of constraints.

 

Actually, it's just one constraint.

 

Note from corporate; cannot be a continuation of G1. No GSR, no GBs, no SR. Doesn't have to murder G1 like an Aztec priest, but no direct connections.

 

So, that's it. It's up to you to write an original storyline for G1 for the set designers to work around, but it must follow that constraint. Post your ideas here.

 

-------------

 

As for me, I'd write something rather similar to what G2 actually ended up doing, with a few differences.

 

Firstly, I'd make the elemental powers the Toa had be from their generic masks, and the Golden Masks give them their old Mata powers.

 

Secondly, instead of Protectors, I'd have Elders named for the original Turaga and Guardians named for the original McToran.

 

Finally, instead of fighting a skull spider, the story would have the Toa going up against Makuta for the 2015 storyline, with 2016 being the big confrontation.

 

The problem is that, while Makuta looks evil, everything he's done has been done by an even greater evil. See, Ekimu wasn't as nice as we all thought, and was beginning to become ever more tyrannical, until he began creating a mask that would give him ultimate control of everyone on the island. To stop him, Makuta used the Mask of Ultimate Power to seal Ekimu away, but Ekimu was prepared and began trying to break through Makuta's seal, leading to the events of the stop.

 

This would lead to a final showdown between the Toa (who have now been granted new Shadowmasks with new powers (Nuva, perhaps?)) Makuta and Ekimu's army of evil, wherein Makuta and Ekimu have a huge brawl until Makuta sacrifices himself to permanently seal Ekimu away. For good. Always.

 

And no, no giant robot. Well, not that kind of giant robot. Maybe a mech created by Ekimu.

Edited by IcarusBen
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I'd think I'd put 200% more emphasis on the other Toa and Protectors. I get that they wanted that part to be mysterious, but come on, you don't tell a story without defining who the characters are. 

 

And all the rest is totally spoilers for my next fanfic man. :P Or, now that I have seen this topic, the fanfic after that one. :P

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hm, i like the way B2 is going so far, but there are a few things i feel it's missing:

 

i liked the having two powers at once thing masks gave and it's the only real sore spot for me, granted, Ekimu and Makuta DO have their own mask powers, as does the Mask Of Skull Spiders, so maybe that will be worked in, so i guess shrug?

 

Honestly the biggest change would be that i'd write B2 to focus more on the skull spiders, they didn't get enough parasitic facehugging screentime. :t

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I'm okay with the story's overall direction. What it really needs is just... more of it, I think. Longer, more satisfying webisodes would really help a lot, allowing the spotlight to fall upon each character fairly (and note that I said each character rather than just Toa), and background information about the villagers and culture of Okoto.

 

As for names, I'm not actually sure I would bring back the monikers of the Turaga for the Protectors. But they would either have actual names, or maybe an explanation for why they didn't - perhaps they give up their names at their inauguration on Unnaming Day as a symbol of selfless service. A few geographical features in each region would be specified and given English names, e.g, 'Great Volcano' or 'Scalding Dunes.' Just something, so we know what is actually on this island of ours.

 

And lastly, of course, I would insist upon individual voice actors.

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I would write Bionicle...with a PEN!!!

 

 

 

But honestly, my arguments have been covered above:
Individual voice actors

longer episodes

more focus on others besides Tahu

and much more background info

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Pretty much like Marvel.

 

  • Comicbooks
  • Advanced storyline(s) with multiverses.
  • Keep the online serials but with professional voice actors.
  • Increase the amount of rare collectibles.
  • A movie every two years.
  • Evil Toa exist and are common.
  • Good wins 40% of the time. 

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For one, I'd make it that the kinks in the Toa's personalities were caused by the fact that they had just crashed into an island at an insane speed. Tahhu know has some trouble remembering certain things, Kopaka's now dizzy and slips at random, and Onua's quite drowsy. Gali doesn't tell bad jokes (that's Lewa's job), and Pohatu's fear of the dark is etched into his personality.

 

Second, I'd make it so that the island was in really bad shape when the Toa arrive. The Matoran were trying valiantly to hold off the Skull Spiders, but ultimately failed and were forced into hiding. However, those who had survived or weren't taken over by the Skull Spiders gathered in Takoto, and formed the Okoto Resistance Team, which consisted of the Turaga and several generals.

 

Third, the reason the Toa were sent to Okoto was because there was turmoil on their home planets. War had broken out between the inhabitants and brain esque creatures, and automatons with H's in their chests (I just did that) helped the Toa, who were injured badly at the time, get off planet and onto Okoto, which they thought was safer. However something went wrong, causing the craft the Toa were in to explode, and they each landed in their respective regions, with no memory of their past lives.

 

Fourth, there'd already be Toa on the island, known as the Toa Alac, with Toa Takaer, the Toa Alac of Fire, leading them. Several horrible incidents occured, resulting in Toa Henetu, Toa Alac of Stone, being experimented on and turned into a scorpion, Toa Mangwa, Toa Alac of Jungle, obtaining two more arms, and Toa Nuamonua, Toa Alac of Earth, grew horns on his head. One day, these five Toa were killed in action, resulting in Toa Ganoh, Toa Alac of Water, to leave the team. This left Vofe, Toa Alac of Lightning, Strah, Toa Alac of Sonics, Nunua, Toa Alac of Psionics, Galeka, Toa Alac of Gravity, Inab, Toa Alac of Iron, and Marka, Toa Alac of Magnetism to guard Okoto.

After they buried their comrades in the Ancient City, the Toa Alac thought that was the last time they'd ever see their friends, however the fallen Toa Alac rose up from the dead one day, thanks to the spirit of Makuta. Now, the only way for them to rest peacefully was to steal the elemental powers from the Toa Kotos' Kanohi.

 

Fifth, there're actually two parts of Okoto. There's Okoto, and then there's Okoto Nui, which was once part of Okoto, untill the battle between Ekimu and Makuta, when the island broke off. However, it is connected via land bridge, and can be reached after a thirty minute walk. Okoto Nui holds Bakoto, Cekoto, Dekoto, Fakoto, Fekoto, and Vokoto, and is home to Ba-Matoran, Ce-Matoran, De-Matoran, Fa-Matoran, Fe-Matoran, and Vo-Maotran, as well as Rahi.

 

Sixth, the Skull Spiders aren't true Rahi, and are instead masks with legs, created by Makuta. Each Skull Spider has Makuta's spirit, so whenever a Skull Spider takes control of a Matoran or a Toa, they're just releasing Makuta into their mind and allowing him to poses the body.

 

Seventh, the Lord of Skull Spiders, Sidaka, is actually using his spider form as a disguise, and is, in his true form, a tall, dark being who wields a staff that controls whomever it touches, and he wears the Golden Mask of Skull Spiders, or Kanohi Ahes.

 

Eighth, there're twelve Turaga, Vakama, Whenua, Onewa, Matau, Nokama, Nuju, Latu (Lightning), Pikur (Psionics), Sayet (Sonics), Ocefa (Gravity), Lafevo (Iron), and Greni (Magnetism).

 

Ninth, the Toa's normal masks contain their elemental powers, and their Golden Masks give them their original Mata powers.

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For one, I'd make it that the kinks in the Toa's personalities were caused by the fact that they had just crashed into an island at an insane speed. Tahhu know has some trouble remembering certain things, Kopaka's now dizzy and slips at random, and Onua's quite drowsy. Gali doesn't tell bad jokes (that's Lewa's job), and Pohatu's fear of the dark is etched into his personality.

 

Second, I'd make it so that the island was in really bad shape when the Toa arrive. The Matoran were trying valiantly to hold off the Skull Spiders, but ultimately failed and were forced into hiding. However, those who had survived or weren't taken over by the Skull Spiders gathered in Takoto, and formed the Okoto Resistance Team, which consisted of the Turaga and several generals.

 

Third, the reason the Toa were sent to Okoto was because there was turmoil on their home planets. War had broken out between the inhabitants and brain esque creatures, and automatons with H's in their chests (I just did that) helped the Toa, who were injured badly at the time, get off planet and onto Okoto, which they thought was safer. However something went wrong, causing the craft the Toa were in to explode, and they each landed in their respective regions, with no memory of their past lives.

 

Fourth, there'd already be Toa on the island, known as the Toa Alac, with Toa Takaer, the Toa Alac of Fire, leading them. Several horrible incidents occured, resulting in Toa Henetu, Toa Alac of Stone, being experimented on and turned into a scorpion, Toa Mangwa, Toa Alac of Jungle, obtaining two more arms, and Toa Nuamonua, Toa Alac of Earth, grew horns on his head. One day, these five Toa were killed in action, resulting in Toa Ganoh, Toa Alac of Water, to leave the team. This left Vofe, Toa Alac of Lightning, Strah, Toa Alac of Sonics, Nunua, Toa Alac of Psionics, Galeka, Toa Alac of Gravity, Inab, Toa Alac of Iron, and Marka, Toa Alac of Magnetism to guard Okoto.

After they buried their comrades in the Ancient City, the Toa Alac thought that was the last time they'd ever see their friends, however the fallen Toa Alac rose up from the dead one day, thanks to the spirit of Makuta. Now, the only way for them to rest peacefully was to steal the elemental powers from the Toa Kotos' Kanohi.

 

Fifth, there're actually two parts of Okoto. There's Okoto, and then there's Okoto Nui, which was once part of Okoto, untill the battle between Ekimu and Makuta, when the island broke off. However, it is connected via land bridge, and can be reached after a thirty minute walk. Okoto Nui holds Bakoto, Cekoto, Dekoto, Fakoto, Fekoto, and Vokoto, and is home to Ba-Matoran, Ce-Matoran, De-Matoran, Fa-Matoran, Fe-Matoran, and Vo-Maotran, as well as Rahi.

 

Sixth, the Skull Spiders aren't true Rahi, and are instead masks with legs, created by Makuta. Each Skull Spider has Makuta's spirit, so whenever a Skull Spider takes control of a Matoran or a Toa, they're just releasing Makuta into their mind and allowing him to poses the body.

 

Seventh, the Lord of Skull Spiders, Sidaka, is actually using his spider form as a disguise, and is, in his true form, a tall, dark being who wields a staff that controls whomever it touches, and he wears the Golden Mask of Skull Spiders, or Kanohi Ahes.

 

Eighth, there're twelve Turaga, Vakama, Whenua, Onewa, Matau, Nokama, Nuju, Latu (Lightning), Pikur (Psionics), Sayet (Sonics), Ocefa (Gravity), Lafevo (Iron), and Greni (Magnetism).

 

Ninth, the Toa's normal masks contain their elemental powers, and their Golden Masks give them their original Mata powers.

:OMG:  :br:  :happydance:  :bowdown:  B-)  :D AWESOME!  Good names as well!  Why aren't you working with the Bionicle group?  They NEED you.

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For one, I'd make it that the kinks in the Toa's personalities were caused by the fact that they had just crashed into an island at an insane speed. Tahhu know has some trouble remembering certain things, Kopaka's now dizzy and slips at random, and Onua's quite drowsy. Gali doesn't tell bad jokes (that's Lewa's job), and Pohatu's fear of the dark is etched into his personality.

 

Second, I'd make it so that the island was in really bad shape when the Toa arrive. The Matoran were trying valiantly to hold off the Skull Spiders, but ultimately failed and were forced into hiding. However, those who had survived or weren't taken over by the Skull Spiders gathered in Takoto, and formed the Okoto Resistance Team, which consisted of the Turaga and several generals.

 

Third, the reason the Toa were sent to Okoto was because there was turmoil on their home planets. War had broken out between the inhabitants and brain esque creatures, and automatons with H's in their chests (I just did that) helped the Toa, who were injured badly at the time, get off planet and onto Okoto, which they thought was safer. However something went wrong, causing the craft the Toa were in to explode, and they each landed in their respective regions, with no memory of their past lives.

 

Fourth, there'd already be Toa on the island, known as the Toa Alac, with Toa Takaer, the Toa Alac of Fire, leading them. Several horrible incidents occured, resulting in Toa Henetu, Toa Alac of Stone, being experimented on and turned into a scorpion, Toa Mangwa, Toa Alac of Jungle, obtaining two more arms, and Toa Nuamonua, Toa Alac of Earth, grew horns on his head. One day, these five Toa were killed in action, resulting in Toa Ganoh, Toa Alac of Water, to leave the team. This left Vofe, Toa Alac of Lightning, Strah, Toa Alac of Sonics, Nunua, Toa Alac of Psionics, Galeka, Toa Alac of Gravity, Inab, Toa Alac of Iron, and Marka, Toa Alac of Magnetism to guard Okoto.

After they buried their comrades in the Ancient City, the Toa Alac thought that was the last time they'd ever see their friends, however the fallen Toa Alac rose up from the dead one day, thanks to the spirit of Makuta. Now, the only way for them to rest peacefully was to steal the elemental powers from the Toa Kotos' Kanohi.

 

Fifth, there're actually two parts of Okoto. There's Okoto, and then there's Okoto Nui, which was once part of Okoto, untill the battle between Ekimu and Makuta, when the island broke off. However, it is connected via land bridge, and can be reached after a thirty minute walk. Okoto Nui holds Bakoto, Cekoto, Dekoto, Fakoto, Fekoto, and Vokoto, and is home to Ba-Matoran, Ce-Matoran, De-Matoran, Fa-Matoran, Fe-Matoran, and Vo-Maotran, as well as Rahi.

 

Sixth, the Skull Spiders aren't true Rahi, and are instead masks with legs, created by Makuta. Each Skull Spider has Makuta's spirit, so whenever a Skull Spider takes control of a Matoran or a Toa, they're just releasing Makuta into their mind and allowing him to poses the body.

 

Seventh, the Lord of Skull Spiders, Sidaka, is actually using his spider form as a disguise, and is, in his true form, a tall, dark being who wields a staff that controls whomever it touches, and he wears the Golden Mask of Skull Spiders, or Kanohi Ahes.

 

Eighth, there're twelve Turaga, Vakama, Whenua, Onewa, Matau, Nokama, Nuju, Latu (Lightning), Pikur (Psionics), Sayet (Sonics), Ocefa (Gravity), Lafevo (Iron), and Greni (Magnetism).

 

Ninth, the Toa's normal masks contain their elemental powers, and their Golden Masks give them their original Mata powers.

:OMG:  :br:  :happydance:  :bowdown:  B-)  :D AWESOME!  Good names as well!  Why aren't you working with the Bionicle group?  They NEED you.

 

Thank you.:)

 

Well I am only 13, that may be why...:P

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Number one: no alternate universes. The one universe we have is fine thank you very much. Number two, More Toa character development. Back story is fun! Number three: give it an atmosphere similar to Berserk, but slightly less depressing. Number four: bring back the makutas from gen 1 except nerf all the makuta powers and give them control over ONE of the elements in gen2. Also don't make them members of a makuta species, make them more like the evil counter-parts to the Toa.

 

Or I could just write terrible fanfiction. You know what I'll do that instead.

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  • Good wins 40% of the time. 

 

Then what happens the remaining 60% of the time? death?

 

Obviously. Amongst other things.

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  • Good wins 40% of the time. 
 

Then what happens the remaining 60% of the time? death?

Obviously. Amongst other things.
I was thinking the other 60% was everyone just having a tea party or something?

 

That would go with the "40%".

 

Why is everyone questioning my motivations? It makes me scared.

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  • Good wins 40% of the time. 
 

Then what happens the remaining 60% of the time? death?

Obviously. Amongst other things.
I was thinking the other 60% was everyone just having a tea party or something?

 

That would go with the "40%".

 

Why is everyone questioning my motivations? It makes me scared.

 

 

It's just... not a very valid balance? if good wins 40% of the time (less than half) what happens the other more-than-half of the time when good is getting their tar kicked?

bnnrimg1.pngbnnrimg2.pngbnnrimg3.pngbnnrimg4.pngbnnrimg5.pngbnnrimg8.png

 

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  • Evil Toa exist and are common.

 

If I'm honest, I would absolutely love for something like this to happen. I have for a while. Nidhiki, Tuyet, The Piraka; they were never exactly what I wanted from this concept either. They were all crazy, slimy backstabbers. Ideally, I'd love to see a group of capable Toa only with bad intentions. Ones who are just as strong as our heroes (if not stronger), use their elemental powers well, and work as a team. Sort of a "We're what your dysfunctional team could never be. Shame we're evil" sort of thing. 

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PLEASE DELETE Edited by Regitnui

:r: :e: :g: :i: :t: :n: :u: :i:

Elemental Rahi in Gen2, anyone? A write-up for an initial video for a G2 plot

 

I really wish everyone would stop trying to play join the dots with Gen 1 and Gen 2 though,it seems there's a couple new threads everyday and often they're duplicates of already existing conversations! Or simply parallel them with a slightly new 'twist'! Gen 2 is NEW, it is NOT Gen 1 and it is NOT a continuation. Outside of the characters we already have I personally don't want to see ANY old characters return. I think it will cheapen the whole experience to those of us familiar with the original line...

 

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Okay, picture this: Okoto is now Bloodmurder Island, where the Protectors, in their casual disregard for life, are responsible for 10000 deaths daily.

 

Every Toa loses their current weapons in favor of the ultimate weapons: guns.

 

The Protectors are upgraded: two guns.

 

When Tahu lands, he kills 100 skull spiders and 200 villagers, to show he stone-cold does not give a frick.

 

When Gali lands, she kills 500 skull spiders and 1000 villagers, to show she's not like other girls. (This distinction is important, see, because other girls are vacuous and terrible, thus gritty Gali needs to distance herself from them.)

 

The Toa blaze their way to their mask shrines in a trail of death, destruction, and bullet casings until they reach their Golden Black Masks of Power Death. Upon donning them, all life within a 300 mile radius is straight up destroyed in a genocidal rampage that shows just how much these heroes are cool and dark.

 

When they convene at the ancient city, they are confronted by the incredibly deadly Lord of Skull Spiders, who has killed 300,000 villagers to date.

 

Luckily, though, Tahu, Master of KickButtitude, runs ahead of the rest and straight up rips that arachnid in half.

 

What happens next??? Who knows? But it will almost certainly involve death, edginess, and terrible writing.

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For one, I'd make it that the kinks in the Toa's personalities were caused by the fact that they had just crashed into an island at an insane speed. Tahhu know has some trouble remembering certain things, Kopaka's now dizzy and slips at random, and Onua's quite drowsy. Gali doesn't tell bad jokes (that's Lewa's job), and Pohatu's fear of the dark is etched into his personality.

 

Second, I'd make it so that the island was in really bad shape when the Toa arrive. The Matoran were trying valiantly to hold off the Skull Spiders, but ultimately failed and were forced into hiding. However, those who had survived or weren't taken over by the Skull Spiders gathered in Takoto, and formed the Okoto Resistance Team, which consisted of the Turaga and several generals.

 

Third, the reason the Toa were sent to Okoto was because there was turmoil on their home planets. War had broken out between the inhabitants and brain esque creatures, and automatons with H's in their chests (I just did that) helped the Toa, who were injured badly at the time, get off planet and onto Okoto, which they thought was safer. However something went wrong, causing the craft the Toa were in to explode, and they each landed in their respective regions, with no memory of their past lives.

 

Fourth, there'd already be Toa on the island, known as the Toa Alac, with Toa Takaer, the Toa Alac of Fire, leading them. Several horrible incidents occured, resulting in Toa Henetu, Toa Alac of Stone, being experimented on and turned into a scorpion, Toa Mangwa, Toa Alac of Jungle, obtaining two more arms, and Toa Nuamonua, Toa Alac of Earth, grew horns on his head. One day, these five Toa were killed in action, resulting in Toa Ganoh, Toa Alac of Water, to leave the team. This left Vofe, Toa Alac of Lightning, Strah, Toa Alac of Sonics, Nunua, Toa Alac of Psionics, Galeka, Toa Alac of Gravity, Inab, Toa Alac of Iron, and Marka, Toa Alac of Magnetism to guard Okoto.

After they buried their comrades in the Ancient City, the Toa Alac thought that was the last time they'd ever see their friends, however the fallen Toa Alac rose up from the dead one day, thanks to the spirit of Makuta. Now, the only way for them to rest peacefully was to steal the elemental powers from the Toa Kotos' Kanohi.

 

Fifth, there're actually two parts of Okoto. There's Okoto, and then there's Okoto Nui, which was once part of Okoto, untill the battle between Ekimu and Makuta, when the island broke off. However, it is connected via land bridge, and can be reached after a thirty minute walk. Okoto Nui holds Bakoto, Cekoto, Dekoto, Fakoto, Fekoto, and Vokoto, and is home to Ba-Matoran, Ce-Matoran, De-Matoran, Fa-Matoran, Fe-Matoran, and Vo-Maotran, as well as Rahi.

 

Sixth, the Skull Spiders aren't true Rahi, and are instead masks with legs, created by Makuta. Each Skull Spider has Makuta's spirit, so whenever a Skull Spider takes control of a Matoran or a Toa, they're just releasing Makuta into their mind and allowing him to poses the body.

 

Seventh, the Lord of Skull Spiders, Sidaka, is actually using his spider form as a disguise, and is, in his true form, a tall, dark being who wields a staff that controls whomever it touches, and he wears the Golden Mask of Skull Spiders, or Kanohi Ahes.

 

Eighth, there're twelve Turaga, Vakama, Whenua, Onewa, Matau, Nokama, Nuju, Latu (Lightning), Pikur (Psionics), Sayet (Sonics), Ocefa (Gravity), Lafevo (Iron), and Greni (Magnetism).

 

Ninth, the Toa's normal masks contain their elemental powers, and their Golden Masks give them their original Mata powers.

Ugh. Just ugh. That's way too much to establish in a year or even two. It also sounds far too much like the latter years of G1, where there were five no-set characters for every one.

 

Other elements? Cut. Previous Toa? Cut. Second island? Cut (For now).

 

The current first year is pretty solid. The Toa find their golden masks, defeat the Skull Legions and free Ekimu. But the Ancient City is still under evil's control, and Ekimu fears what will happen if the Skulls are not truly defeated. And so, after the Protectors upgrade the Toa's equipment, and Ekimu forges them masks of power more like his own (G1 mask powers, though not necessarily the Mata powers), they return to the city to face and defeat the Skulls

 

(Year 2)

 

However, with the skull spiders' retreat, the beasts that once lived alongside the villagers return to the island. Many of them are harmless, or even beneficial to the villagers, but there are the few apex predators or otherwiae dangerous beasts that the villagers must relearn to respect. The Protectors take up their weapons again, but as leaders of armies, not lone defenders. The villagers tame certain beasts and have cavalry/artillery that can support them.

 

Meanwhile, the Toa Okoto find the Ancient City overrun with elemental forces, unknowingly unleashed by the Skulls as they try to revive Makuta. They fight their way through, and find the abandoned Mask of Control in the Mask Maker's Shrine. By one member of the team donning it, they manage to use the untamed elemental forces to wipe the Skulls out of The City, overloading them with power or simply returning their dead bones to the crevasse below. Mask of Control in hand, they return to Ekimu, who announces to all the villages; "We can go home."

 

(Year 3)

 

This, however, isn't the end, as the MoUP is still out there, filled with the dark intelligence infused in it by it's creator's first touch. Despite Makuta's good intentions, the monstrous mask holds only the worst part of his memories and personality, so as it is worn again, it takes the wearer's former identity and replaces it with that of the jealous, angry Makuta...

 

The Toa find themselves not just heroes, but role models. The Protectors have retired to form a ruling council with Ekimu, and the title of Protector belongs to the Masters. The villagers have become strong in their own right, confident in their own abilities. The Toa feel their work is almost done... Until the greatest challenge of all comes crawling from the shadows of Okoto...

 

A new being has claimed the MoUP, and stands before the temple of time. By channeling the Mask's power into the Temple, like the Protectors did, this being summons his own six Toa, dark, evil counterparts who come only to destroy the island's defenders and leave the villagers under he tyrannical rule of their master. Their first strike is devastating, destroying the six villages and chasing the villagers into the wild. Though they fight back, they alone are powerless against the new invaders.

 

Until the Toa arrive. Taking on the invaders, Tahu, Gali, Lewa, Onua, Pohatu and Kopaka buy enough time for everyone to flee to the Ancient City. But these Dark Masters match them move for move, strike for strike, and our heroes seem to be tiring faster.

 

They retreat, letting the Dark Masters take the island. The Masters themselves fall back to the City, where they find a being claiming to be Makuta, threatening the villagers and proclaiming his power. Together, they drive him off, but not before he announces his intention to use the Dark Masters to enslave them all.

 

Undergoing final training and upgrades, the Masters meet the Dark Masters outside the city, where they met for the first time. They are lead by the MoUP-wearer, who sends his servants forwards, intending that they defeat the Masters once and for all.

 

The Masters begin to work together, throwing their counterparts off with better tactics and switching opponents. They seem to have the Dark Masters on the ropes, until the MoUP begins to channel power to the Dark Masters, giving them power beyond whatever the Masters can muster. The Masters find themselves overpowered once more, until the villagers themselves, wielding their elemental blasters and fighting on beast mounts, enter the battle and turn the tide decisively in the Masters' favour.

 

Cornered, the being who claims to be Makuta tears off the MoUP, throwing it far into the mountains. Thus disarmed, the being becomes an ordinary villager, perhaps even maskless and repentant Makuta himself. But, elsewhere on the island, the MoUP bides its time until it is found again, when it can return to its plans for destroying the island...

 

(Future years?)

 

So my take on things keeps what we know already, and calls back to G1 without bringing back all the unnecessary nonsense the later years began to dump on us in the name of worldbuilding.

 

Year 2 would be our 'attack of the rahi' year, concentrating more on the villages and villagers while the Masters in their blaster-powerup forms search for the MoControl and possibly Makuta himself. The elemental forces allow new villain sets with a lot of trans-pieces, and the beasts can be LoSS-like, combining CCBS and Technic. This year can also call back to the Chronicler's Company and those who became the Inika, with a yellow-masked fire villager packaged with the fire beast, a orange-masked earth with a crab, etc.

 

Year 3 calls back to the Rahkshi and final confrontation with Makuta. I went with a more 2001 ending, because I didn't want to open up a Takua-shaped can of worms. So he, or a G2 counterpart, is left out of the final, all-our-powers-combined ending in favour of the Villager Defense Force saving the Masters.

 

If you do like a two-kua, have him as a random fire villager who Ekimu chooses as the Mask Maker Apprentice, which can be released in the 3rd year as a small set with the other Villager-Warriors of Okoto.

 

The MoUP remaining the ultimate villain is an interesting concept, and allows future villains to rise if we extend past three years. It, instead of Makuta, becomes our overarching villain who hops between hosts as the story requires.

 

So, criticism, opinions? PEACH.

Edited by Regitnui
  • Upvote 1

:r: :e: :g: :i: :t: :n: :u: :i:

Elemental Rahi in Gen2, anyone? A write-up for an initial video for a G2 plot

 

I really wish everyone would stop trying to play join the dots with Gen 1 and Gen 2 though,it seems there's a couple new threads everyday and often they're duplicates of already existing conversations! Or simply parallel them with a slightly new 'twist'! Gen 2 is NEW, it is NOT Gen 1 and it is NOT a continuation. Outside of the characters we already have I personally don't want to see ANY old characters return. I think it will cheapen the whole experience to those of us familiar with the original line...

 

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For one, I'd make it that the kinks in the Toa's personalities were caused by the fact that they had just crashed into an island at an insane speed. Tahhu know has some trouble remembering certain things, Kopaka's now dizzy and slips at random, and Onua's quite drowsy. Gali doesn't tell bad jokes (that's Lewa's job), and Pohatu's fear of the dark is etched into his personality.

 

Second, I'd make it so that the island was in really bad shape when the Toa arrive. The Matoran were trying valiantly to hold off the Skull Spiders, but ultimately failed and were forced into hiding. However, those who had survived or weren't taken over by the Skull Spiders gathered in Takoto, and formed the Okoto Resistance Team, which consisted of the Turaga and several generals.

 

Third, the reason the Toa were sent to Okoto was because there was turmoil on their home planets. War had broken out between the inhabitants and brain esque creatures, and automatons with H's in their chests (I just did that) helped the Toa, who were injured badly at the time, get off planet and onto Okoto, which they thought was safer. However something went wrong, causing the craft the Toa were in to explode, and they each landed in their respective regions, with no memory of their past lives.

 

Fourth, there'd already be Toa on the island, known as the Toa Alac, with Toa Takaer, the Toa Alac of Fire, leading them. Several horrible incidents occured, resulting in Toa Henetu, Toa Alac of Stone, being experimented on and turned into a scorpion, Toa Mangwa, Toa Alac of Jungle, obtaining two more arms, and Toa Nuamonua, Toa Alac of Earth, grew horns on his head. One day, these five Toa were killed in action, resulting in Toa Ganoh, Toa Alac of Water, to leave the team. This left Vofe, Toa Alac of Lightning, Strah, Toa Alac of Sonics, Nunua, Toa Alac of Psionics, Galeka, Toa Alac of Gravity, Inab, Toa Alac of Iron, and Marka, Toa Alac of Magnetism to guard Okoto.

After they buried their comrades in the Ancient City, the Toa Alac thought that was the last time they'd ever see their friends, however the fallen Toa Alac rose up from the dead one day, thanks to the spirit of Makuta. Now, the only way for them to rest peacefully was to steal the elemental powers from the Toa Kotos' Kanohi.

 

Fifth, there're actually two parts of Okoto. There's Okoto, and then there's Okoto Nui, which was once part of Okoto, untill the battle between Ekimu and Makuta, when the island broke off. However, it is connected via land bridge, and can be reached after a thirty minute walk. Okoto Nui holds Bakoto, Cekoto, Dekoto, Fakoto, Fekoto, and Vokoto, and is home to Ba-Matoran, Ce-Matoran, De-Matoran, Fa-Matoran, Fe-Matoran, and Vo-Maotran, as well as Rahi.

 

Sixth, the Skull Spiders aren't true Rahi, and are instead masks with legs, created by Makuta. Each Skull Spider has Makuta's spirit, so whenever a Skull Spider takes control of a Matoran or a Toa, they're just releasing Makuta into their mind and allowing him to poses the body.

 

Seventh, the Lord of Skull Spiders, Sidaka, is actually using his spider form as a disguise, and is, in his true form, a tall, dark being who wields a staff that controls whomever it touches, and he wears the Golden Mask of Skull Spiders, or Kanohi Ahes.

 

Eighth, there're twelve Turaga, Vakama, Whenua, Onewa, Matau, Nokama, Nuju, Latu (Lightning), Pikur (Psionics), Sayet (Sonics), Ocefa (Gravity), Lafevo (Iron), and Greni (Magnetism).

 

Ninth, the Toa's normal masks contain their elemental powers, and their Golden Masks give them their original Mata powers.

:OMG:  :br:  :br:  :br:  :bigsmile:  :happydance:  :hyper: BEST.  MADE.  UP.  STORY.  EVER!!!!!!!!  That is awesome!  Lego would've SKY rocketed if they used THIS story.  You are like the next Greg Farshety for the Bio '15 reboot!  You are a GREAT story writer when it comes to Bionicle.  Continue writing please :popcorn:  :popcorn:   :happydance:  :happydance:  :happydance: !!!

 

For one, I'd make it that the kinks in the Toa's personalities were caused by the fact that they had just crashed into an island at an insane speed. Tahhu know has some trouble remembering certain things, Kopaka's now dizzy and slips at random, and Onua's quite drowsy. Gali doesn't tell bad jokes (that's Lewa's job), and Pohatu's fear of the dark is etched into his personality.

 

Second, I'd make it so that the island was in really bad shape when the Toa arrive. The Matoran were trying valiantly to hold off the Skull Spiders, but ultimately failed and were forced into hiding. However, those who had survived or weren't taken over by the Skull Spiders gathered in Takoto, and formed the Okoto Resistance Team, which consisted of the Turaga and several generals.

 

Third, the reason the Toa were sent to Okoto was because there was turmoil on their home planets. War had broken out between the inhabitants and brain esque creatures, and automatons with H's in their chests (I just did that) helped the Toa, who were injured badly at the time, get off planet and onto Okoto, which they thought was safer. However something went wrong, causing the craft the Toa were in to explode, and they each landed in their respective regions, with no memory of their past lives.

 

Fourth, there'd already be Toa on the island, known as the Toa Alac, with Toa Takaer, the Toa Alac of Fire, leading them. Several horrible incidents occured, resulting in Toa Henetu, Toa Alac of Stone, being experimented on and turned into a scorpion, Toa Mangwa, Toa Alac of Jungle, obtaining two more arms, and Toa Nuamonua, Toa Alac of Earth, grew horns on his head. One day, these five Toa were killed in action, resulting in Toa Ganoh, Toa Alac of Water, to leave the team. This left Vofe, Toa Alac of Lightning, Strah, Toa Alac of Sonics, Nunua, Toa Alac of Psionics, Galeka, Toa Alac of Gravity, Inab, Toa Alac of Iron, and Marka, Toa Alac of Magnetism to guard Okoto.

After they buried their comrades in the Ancient City, the Toa Alac thought that was the last time they'd ever see their friends, however the fallen Toa Alac rose up from the dead one day, thanks to the spirit of Makuta. Now, the only way for them to rest peacefully was to steal the elemental powers from the Toa Kotos' Kanohi.

 

Fifth, there're actually two parts of Okoto. There's Okoto, and then there's Okoto Nui, which was once part of Okoto, untill the battle between Ekimu and Makuta, when the island broke off. However, it is connected via land bridge, and can be reached after a thirty minute walk. Okoto Nui holds Bakoto, Cekoto, Dekoto, Fakoto, Fekoto, and Vokoto, and is home to Ba-Matoran, Ce-Matoran, De-Matoran, Fa-Matoran, Fe-Matoran, and Vo-Maotran, as well as Rahi.

 

Sixth, the Skull Spiders aren't true Rahi, and are instead masks with legs, created by Makuta. Each Skull Spider has Makuta's spirit, so whenever a Skull Spider takes control of a Matoran or a Toa, they're just releasing Makuta into their mind and allowing him to poses the body.

 

Seventh, the Lord of Skull Spiders, Sidaka, is actually using his spider form as a disguise, and is, in his true form, a tall, dark being who wields a staff that controls whomever it touches, and he wears the Golden Mask of Skull Spiders, or Kanohi Ahes.

 

Eighth, there're twelve Turaga, Vakama, Whenua, Onewa, Matau, Nokama, Nuju, Latu (Lightning), Pikur (Psionics), Sayet (Sonics), Ocefa (Gravity), Lafevo (Iron), and Greni (Magnetism).

 

Ninth, the Toa's normal masks contain their elemental powers, and their Golden Masks give them their original Mata powers.

Ugh. Just ugh. That's way too much to establish in a year or even two. It also sounds far too much like the latter years of G1, where there were five no-set characters for every one.

 

Other elements? Cut. Previous Toa? Cut. Second island? Cut (For now).

 

The current first year is pretty solid. The Toa find their golden masks, defeat the Skull Legions and free Ekimu. But the Ancient City is still under evil's control, and Ekimu fears what will happen if the Skulls are not truly defeated. And so, after the Protectors upgrade the Toa's equipment, and Ekimu forges them masks of power more like his own (G1 mask powers, though not necessarily the Mata powers), they return to the city to face and defeat the Skulls

 

(Year 2)

 

However, with the skull spiders' retreat, the beasts that once lived alongside the villagers return to the island. Many of them are harmless, or even beneficial to the villagers, but there are the few apex predators or otherwiae dangerous beasts that the villagers must relearn to respect. The Protectors take up their weapons again, but as leaders of armies, not lone defenders. The villagers tame certain beasts and have cavalry/artillery that can support them.

 

Meanwhile, the Toa Okoto find the Ancient City overrun with elemental forces, unknowingly unleashed by the Skulls as they try to revive Makuta. They fight their way through, and find the abandoned Mask of Control in the Mask Maker's Shrine. By one member of the team donning it, they manage to use the untamed elemental forces to wipe the Skulls out of The City, overloading them with power or simply returning their dead bones to the crevasse below. Mask of Control in hand, they return to Ekimu, who announces to all the villages; "We can go home."

 

(Year 3)

 

This, however, isn't the end, as the MoUP is still out there, filled with the dark intelligence infused in it by it's creator's first touch. Despite Makuta's good intentions, the monstrous mask holds only the worst part of his memories and personality, so as it is worn again, it takes the wearer's former identity and replaces it with that of the jealous, angry Makuta...

 

The Toa find themselves not just heroes, but role models. The Protectors have retired to form a ruling council with Ekimu, and the title of Protector belongs to the Masters. The villagers have become strong in their own right, confident in their own abilities. The Toa feel their work is almost done... Until the greatest challenge of all comes crawling from the shadows of Okoto...

 

A new being has claimed the MoUP, and stands before the temple of time. By channeling the Mask's power into the Temple, like the Protectors did, this being summons his own six Toa, dark, evil counterparts who come only to destroy the island's defenders and leave the villagers under he tyrannical rule of their master. Their first strike is devastating, destroying the six villages and chasing the villagers into the wild. Though they fight back, they alone are powerless against the new invaders.

 

Until the Toa arrive. Taking on the invaders, Tahu, Gali, Lewa, Onua, Pohatu and Kopaka buy enough time for everyone to flee to the Ancient City. But these Dark Masters match them move for move, strike for strike, and our heroes seem to be tiring faster.

 

They retreat, letting the Dark Masters take the island. The Masters themselves fall back to the City, where they find a being claiming to be Makuta, threatening the villagers and proclaiming his power. Together, they drive him off, but not before he announces his intention to use the Dark Masters to enslave them all.

 

Undergoing final training and upgrades, the Masters meet the Dark Masters outside the city, where they met for the first time. They are lead by the MoUP-wearer, who sends his servants forwards, intending that they defeat the Masters once and for all.

 

The Masters begin to work together, throwing their counterparts off with better tactics and switching opponents. They seem to have the Dark Masters on the ropes, until the MoUP begins to channel power to the Dark Masters, giving them power beyond whatever the Masters can muster. The Masters find themselves overpowered once more, until the villagers themselves, wielding their elemental blasters and fighting on beast mounts, enter the battle and turn the tide decisively in the Masters' favour.

 

Cornered, the being who claims to be Makuta tears off the MoUP, throwing it far into the mountains. Thus disarmed, the being becomes an ordinary villager, perhaps even maskless and repentant Makuta himself. But, elsewhere on the island, the MoUP bides its time until it is found again, when it can return to its plans for destroying the island...

 

(Future years?)

 

So my take on things keeps what we know already, and calls back to G1 without bringing back all the unnecessary nonsense the later years began to dump on us in the name of worldbuilding.

 

Year 2 would be our 'attack of the rahi' year, concentrating more on the villages and villagers while the Masters in their blaster-powerup forms search for the MoControl and possibly Makuta himself. The elemental forces allow new villain sets with a lot of trans-pieces, and the beasts can be LoSS-like, combining CCBS and Technic. This year can also call back to the Chronicler's Company and those who became the Inika, with a yellow-masked fire villager packaged with the fire beast, a orange-masked earth with a crab, etc.

 

Year 3 calls back to the Rahkshi and final confrontation with Makuta. I went with a more 2001 ending, because I didn't want to open up a Takua-shaped can of worms. So he, or a G2 counterpart, is left out of the final, all-our-powers-combined ending in favour of the Villager Defense Force saving the Masters.

 

If you do like a two-kua, have him as a random fire villager who Ekimu chooses as the Mask Maker Apprentice, which can be released in the 3rd year as a small set with the other Villager-Warriors of Okoto.

 

The MoUP remaining the ultimate villain is an interesting concept, and allows future villains to rise if we extend past three years. It, instead of Makuta, becomes our overarching villain who hops between hosts as the story requires.

 

So, criticism, opinions? PEACH.

 

"Ugh. Just ugh. That's way too much to establish in a year or even two. It also sounds far too much like the latter years of G1, where there were five no-set characters for every one.

 

Other elements? Cut. Previous Toa? Cut. Second island? Cut (For now)."

 

That is not way to much to "establish".  It's PERFECTLY fine and its a great reboot story for Bio '15.  Is it just me, or are you jealous that he made a great story line for Bio '15 than you did?  Because I think he did a great job writing his story for Bio '15.

Edited by Gipsy Danger
  • Upvote 2

A signature is supposed to be this:

 

Jaeger_Gipsy_Danger_Decal_02.png

 

and BTW https://screen.yahoo.com/star-trek-convention-000000768.html

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"Ugh. Just ugh. That's way too much to establish in a year or even two. It also sounds far too much like the latter years of G1, where there were five no-set characters for every one.

 

Other elements? Cut. Previous Toa? Cut. Second island? Cut (For now)."

 

That is not way to much to "establish". It's PERFECTLY fine and its a great reboot story for Bio '15. Is it just me, or are you jealous that he made a great story line for Bio '15 than you did? Because I think he did a great job writing his story for Bio '15.

*quoted post edited for sanity*

 

I was just going to ignore you, but then you flung your opinion at me like a monkey, so instead I'll address you reasonably.

 

Firstly, G2 would have to attract and hold a new audience, not just the G1/ diehards like yourself, or it would not be profitable. This requires a simpler world than G1 had at the end, at least initially. Having twelve elements, when six of them are hardly relevant to the plot, is unnecessary world-building, which the new fan would have to absorb or lose the story. So we cut it.

 

A secondary island, after cutting the extra, unnecessary elements, becomes useless when one island has enough room for six elemental zones with room to spare. This single island also has enough room to place many secret locations, given that the current residents are long declined. Therefore, cut the second island. (And Okoto Nui? Poor name)

 

Previous Toa? That's worth a consideration, but in TMS' story they're simply a fanservice excuse. Were we to claim that some of the Skulls were fallen guardians from a centuries-old team of Toa, that could fly, since they're obviously long decomposed. However, by having a previous team of Toa named from the word go, we also run the risk of alienating new fans. Hence we bin that idea for now, like the second island.

 

As for the "final village" apocalypse plot, G2 is a children's story, and as such we don't want to trigger the parents into thinking this is too dark for their child. So the apocalypse and final resistance is scaled back to "fallen from power", where the villagers were a mighty civilization, but have fragmented into tribes after the loss of their leader. Thus, we maintain the feeling of 'dark ages' without scaring parents into not buying for their children.

 

TMS is very creative, and could have real talent, but his G2 story is more like G1 fan fiction than a feasible and plausible reboot for a series that needs to shed a lot of excess baggage to attract new and younger fans outside the cult following the previous incarnation had.

 

Finally, let's tackle the 'issue' of my jealousy. I am 24, almost twice TMS and your age. Am I jealous of something a 13-year-old wrot e in ten minutes and that another 13-year-old messed his pants over? No. Frankly, I've got bigger concerns.

 

I did think that TMS story was poor, but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill. I wasn't seething in impotent rage that I couldn't make you squeal like a schoolgirl who's gotten tickets to a Justin Bieber/One Direction concert.

 

***

 

ToaMarkSurge, well done at the attempt. I'm sure you had fun writing that, and I would be more than willing to critique your story properly over PM. But, for the reasons stated above, it might need a little more thought if you want to writing it in more detail.

  • Upvote 1

:r: :e: :g: :i: :t: :n: :u: :i:

Elemental Rahi in Gen2, anyone? A write-up for an initial video for a G2 plot

 

I really wish everyone would stop trying to play join the dots with Gen 1 and Gen 2 though,it seems there's a couple new threads everyday and often they're duplicates of already existing conversations! Or simply parallel them with a slightly new 'twist'! Gen 2 is NEW, it is NOT Gen 1 and it is NOT a continuation. Outside of the characters we already have I personally don't want to see ANY old characters return. I think it will cheapen the whole experience to those of us familiar with the original line...

 

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Finally, let's tackle the 'issue' of my jealousy. I am 24, almost twice TMS and your age. Am I jealous of something a 13-year-old wrot e in ten minutes and that another 13-year-old messed his pants over? No. Frankly, I've got bigger concerns.

 

Bigger concerns?  Like making sure your mom doesn't find out your on a forum for a kids toy line?

  • Upvote 1

If you don't like people that use their head and stand up to bullies, then you may not like me because I deal with bullies head on!  

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Finally, let's tackle the 'issue' of my jealousy. I am 24, almost twice TMS and your age. Am I jealous of something a 13-year-old wrot e in ten minutes and that another 13-year-old messed his pants over? No. Frankly, I've got bigger concerns.

 

Bigger concerns?  Like making sure your mom doesn't find out your on a forum for a kids toy line?

 

Settle down MocMaker, settle down.

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"Ugh. Just ugh. That's way too much to establish in a year or even two. It also sounds far too much like the latter years of G1, where there were five no-set characters for every one.

 

Other elements? Cut. Previous Toa? Cut. Second island? Cut (For now)."

 

That is not way to much to "establish". It's PERFECTLY fine and its a great reboot story for Bio '15. Is it just me, or are you jealous that he made a great story line for Bio '15 than you did? Because I think he did a great job writing his story for Bio '15.

*quoted post edited for sanity*

 

I was just going to ignore you, but then you flung your opinion at me like a monkey, so instead I'll address you reasonably.

 

Firstly, G2 would have to attract and hold a new audience, not just the G1/ diehards like yourself, or it would not be profitable. This requires a simpler world than G1 had at the end, at least initially. Having twelve elements, when six of them are hardly relevant to the plot, is unnecessary world-building, which the new fan would have to absorb or lose the story. So we cut it.

 

A secondary island, after cutting the extra, unnecessary elements, becomes useless when one island has enough room for six elemental zones with room to spare. This single island also has enough room to place many secret locations, given that the current residents are long declined. Therefore, cut the second island. (And Okoto Nui? Poor name)

 

Previous Toa? That's worth a consideration, but in TMS' story they're simply a fanservice excuse. Were we to claim that some of the Skulls were fallen guardians from a centuries-old team of Toa, that could fly, since they're obviously long decomposed. However, by having a previous team of Toa named from the word go, we also run the risk of alienating new fans. Hence we bin that idea for now, like the second island.

 

As for the "final village" apocalypse plot, G2 is a children's story, and as such we don't want to trigger the parents into thinking this is too dark for their child. So the apocalypse and final resistance is scaled back to "fallen from power", where the villagers were a mighty civilization, but have fragmented into tribes after the loss of their leader. Thus, we maintain the feeling of 'dark ages' without scaring parents into not buying for their children.

 

TMS is very creative, and could have real talent, but his G2 story is more like G1 fan fiction than a feasible and plausible reboot for a series that needs to shed a lot of excess baggage to attract new and younger fans outside the cult following the previous incarnation had.

 

Finally, let's tackle the 'issue' of my jealousy. I am 24, almost twice TMS and your age. Am I jealous of something a 13-year-old wrot e in ten minutes and that another 13-year-old messed his pants over? No. Frankly, I've got bigger concerns.

 

I did think that TMS story was poor, but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill. I wasn't seething in impotent rage that I couldn't make you squeal like a schoolgirl who's gotten tickets to a Justin Bieber/One Direction concert.

 

***

 

ToaMarkSurge, well done at the attempt. I'm sure you had fun writing that, and I would be more than willing to critique your story properly over PM. But, for the reasons stated above, it might need a little more thought if you want to writing it in more detail.

 

"but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill"

 

I know ToaMarkSurge has a "life experience" and "real writing skill".  But what about YOU :glare: ?  What if your Mom knows that your BASICALLY on a kids site instead of exercising, have a job, or something?  I do exercising but no job(because I'm 13.  I'm not allowed to get a job yet) and I do Tae Kwon Do and all kinds of stuff.

A signature is supposed to be this:

 

Jaeger_Gipsy_Danger_Decal_02.png

 

and BTW https://screen.yahoo.com/star-trek-convention-000000768.html

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For one, I'd make it that the kinks in the Toa's personalities were caused by the fact that they had just crashed into an island at an insane speed. Tahhu know has some trouble remembering certain things, Kopaka's now dizzy and slips at random, and Onua's quite drowsy. Gali doesn't tell bad jokes (that's Lewa's job), and Pohatu's fear of the dark is etched into his personality.

 

Second, I'd make it so that the island was in really bad shape when the Toa arrive. The Matoran were trying valiantly to hold off the Skull Spiders, but ultimately failed and were forced into hiding. However, those who had survived or weren't taken over by the Skull Spiders gathered in Takoto, and formed the Okoto Resistance Team, which consisted of the Turaga and several generals.

 

Third, the reason the Toa were sent to Okoto was because there was turmoil on their home planets. War had broken out between the inhabitants and brain esque creatures, and automatons with H's in their chests (I just did that) helped the Toa, who were injured badly at the time, get off planet and onto Okoto, which they thought was safer. However something went wrong, causing the craft the Toa were in to explode, and they each landed in their respective regions, with no memory of their past lives.

 

Fourth, there'd already be Toa on the island, known as the Toa Alac, with Toa Takaer, the Toa Alac of Fire, leading them. Several horrible incidents occured, resulting in Toa Henetu, Toa Alac of Stone, being experimented on and turned into a scorpion, Toa Mangwa, Toa Alac of Jungle, obtaining two more arms, and Toa Nuamonua, Toa Alac of Earth, grew horns on his head. One day, these five Toa were killed in action, resulting in Toa Ganoh, Toa Alac of Water, to leave the team. This left Vofe, Toa Alac of Lightning, Strah, Toa Alac of Sonics, Nunua, Toa Alac of Psionics, Galeka, Toa Alac of Gravity, Inab, Toa Alac of Iron, and Marka, Toa Alac of Magnetism to guard Okoto.

After they buried their comrades in the Ancient City, the Toa Alac thought that was the last time they'd ever see their friends, however the fallen Toa Alac rose up from the dead one day, thanks to the spirit of Makuta. Now, the only way for them to rest peacefully was to steal the elemental powers from the Toa Kotos' Kanohi.

 

Fifth, there're actually two parts of Okoto. There's Okoto, and then there's Okoto Nui, which was once part of Okoto, untill the battle between Ekimu and Makuta, when the island broke off. However, it is connected via land bridge, and can be reached after a thirty minute walk. Okoto Nui holds Bakoto, Cekoto, Dekoto, Fakoto, Fekoto, and Vokoto, and is home to Ba-Matoran, Ce-Matoran, De-Matoran, Fa-Matoran, Fe-Matoran, and Vo-Maotran, as well as Rahi.

 

Sixth, the Skull Spiders aren't true Rahi, and are instead masks with legs, created by Makuta. Each Skull Spider has Makuta's spirit, so whenever a Skull Spider takes control of a Matoran or a Toa, they're just releasing Makuta into their mind and allowing him to poses the body.

 

Seventh, the Lord of Skull Spiders, Sidaka, is actually using his spider form as a disguise, and is, in his true form, a tall, dark being who wields a staff that controls whomever it touches, and he wears the Golden Mask of Skull Spiders, or Kanohi Ahes.

 

Eighth, there're twelve Turaga, Vakama, Whenua, Onewa, Matau, Nokama, Nuju, Latu (Lightning), Pikur (Psionics), Sayet (Sonics), Ocefa (Gravity), Lafevo (Iron), and Greni (Magnetism).

 

Ninth, the Toa's normal masks contain their elemental powers, and their Golden Masks give them their original Mata powers.

Ugh. Just ugh. That's way too much to establish in a year or even two. It also sounds far too much like the latter years of G1, where there were five no-set characters for every one.

 

Other elements? Cut. Previous Toa? Cut. Second island? Cut (For now).

 

So, criticism, opinions? PEACH.

 

1: Never said it was in year one alone.

2: Why? Other elements makes it more interesting.

3: The other Toa aren't even revealed untill the Skull Villain wave.

4: The second island is technically still a part of Okoto, due to the land bridge.

 

 

"Ugh. Just ugh. That's way too much to establish in a year or even two. It also sounds far too much like the latter years of G1, where there were five no-set characters for every one.

 

Other elements? Cut. Previous Toa? Cut. Second island? Cut (For now)."

 

That is not way to much to "establish". It's PERFECTLY fine and its a great reboot story for Bio '15. Is it just me, or are you jealous that he made a great story line for Bio '15 than you did? Because I think he did a great job writing his story for Bio '15.

*quoted post edited for sanity*

 

I was just going to ignore you, but then you flung your opinion at me like a monkey, so instead I'll address you reasonably.

 

Firstly, G2 would have to attract and hold a new audience, not just the G1/ diehards like yourself, or it would not be profitable. This requires a simpler world than G1 had at the end, at least initially. Having twelve elements, when six of them are hardly relevant to the plot, is unnecessary world-building, which the new fan would have to absorb or lose the story. So we cut it.

 

A secondary island, after cutting the extra, unnecessary elements, becomes useless when one island has enough room for six elemental zones with room to spare. This single island also has enough room to place many secret locations, given that the current residents are long declined. Therefore, cut the second island. (And Okoto Nui? Poor name)

 

Previous Toa? That's worth a consideration, but in TMS' story they're simply a fanservice excuse. Were we to claim that some of the Skulls were fallen guardians from a centuries-old team of Toa, that could fly, since they're obviously long decomposed. However, by having a previous team of Toa named from the word go, we also run the risk of alienating new fans. Hence we bin that idea for now, like the second island.

 

As for the "final village" apocalypse plot, G2 is a children's story, and as such we don't want to trigger the parents into thinking this is too dark for their child. So the apocalypse and final resistance is scaled back to "fallen from power", where the villagers were a mighty civilization, but have fragmented into tribes after the loss of their leader. Thus, we maintain the feeling of 'dark ages' without scaring parents into not buying for their children.

 

TMS is very creative, and could have real talent, but his G2 story is more like G1 fan fiction than a feasible and plausible reboot for a series that needs to shed a lot of excess baggage to attract new and younger fans outside the cult following the previous incarnation had.

 

Finally, let's tackle the 'issue' of my jealousy. I am 24, almost twice TMS and your age. Am I jealous of something a 13-year-old wrot e in ten minutes and that another 13-year-old messed his pants over? No. Frankly, I've got bigger concerns.

 

I did think that TMS story was poor, but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill. I wasn't seething in impotent rage that I couldn't make you squeal like a schoolgirl who's gotten tickets to a Justin Bieber/One Direction concert.

 

***

 

ToaMarkSurge, well done at the attempt. I'm sure you had fun writing that, and I would be more than willing to critique your story properly over PM. But, for the reasons stated above, it might need a little more thought if you want to writing it in more detail.

 

"but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill"

 

I know ToaMarkSurge has a "life experience" and "real writing skill".  But what about YOU :glare: ?  What if your Mom knows that your BASICALLY on a kids site instead of exercising, have a job, or something?  I do exercising but no job(because I'm 13.  I'm not allowed to get a job yet) and I do Tae Kwon Do and all kinds of stuff.

 

Settle down GD.

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"Ugh. Just ugh. That's way too much to establish in a year or even two. It also sounds far too much like the latter years of G1, where there were five no-set characters for every one.

 

Other elements? Cut. Previous Toa? Cut. Second island? Cut (For now)."

 

That is not way to much to "establish". It's PERFECTLY fine and its a great reboot story for Bio '15. Is it just me, or are you jealous that he made a great story line for Bio '15 than you did? Because I think he did a great job writing his story for Bio '15.

*quoted post edited for sanity*

 

I was just going to ignore you, but then you flung your opinion at me like a monkey, so instead I'll address you reasonably.

 

Firstly, G2 would have to attract and hold a new audience, not just the G1/ diehards like yourself, or it would not be profitable. This requires a simpler world than G1 had at the end, at least initially. Having twelve elements, when six of them are hardly relevant to the plot, is unnecessary world-building, which the new fan would have to absorb or lose the story. So we cut it.

 

A secondary island, after cutting the extra, unnecessary elements, becomes useless when one island has enough room for six elemental zones with room to spare. This single island also has enough room to place many secret locations, given that the current residents are long declined. Therefore, cut the second island. (And Okoto Nui? Poor name)

 

Previous Toa? That's worth a consideration, but in TMS' story they're simply a fanservice excuse. Were we to claim that some of the Skulls were fallen guardians from a centuries-old team of Toa, that could fly, since they're obviously long decomposed. However, by having a previous team of Toa named from the word go, we also run the risk of alienating new fans. Hence we bin that idea for now, like the second island.

 

As for the "final village" apocalypse plot, G2 is a children's story, and as such we don't want to trigger the parents into thinking this is too dark for their child. So the apocalypse and final resistance is scaled back to "fallen from power", where the villagers were a mighty civilization, but have fragmented into tribes after the loss of their leader. Thus, we maintain the feeling of 'dark ages' without scaring parents into not buying for their children.

 

TMS is very creative, and could have real talent, but his G2 story is more like G1 fan fiction than a feasible and plausible reboot for a series that needs to shed a lot of excess baggage to attract new and younger fans outside the cult following the previous incarnation had.

 

Finally, let's tackle the 'issue' of my jealousy. I am 24, almost twice TMS and your age. Am I jealous of something a 13-year-old wrot e in ten minutes and that another 13-year-old messed his pants over? No. Frankly, I've got bigger concerns.

 

I did think that TMS story was poor, but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill. I wasn't seething in impotent rage that I couldn't make you squeal like a schoolgirl who's gotten tickets to a Justin Bieber/One Direction concert.

 

***

 

ToaMarkSurge, well done at the attempt. I'm sure you had fun writing that, and I would be more than willing to critique your story properly over PM. But, for the reasons stated above, it might need a little more thought if you want to writing it in more detail.

"but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill"

 

I know ToaMarkSurge has a "life experience" and "real writing skill". But what about YOU :glare: ? What if your Mom knows that your BASICALLY on a kids site instead of exercising, have a job, or something? I do exercising but no job(because I'm 13. I'm not allowed to get a job yet) and I do Tae Kwon Do and all kinds of stuff.

Gipsy Danger.

 

How about you stop with the ad hominem and focus on the content of Regitnui's post? He did raise some valid points with regards to the potential flaws in TMS's story. And yet you ignored the actual crux of his argument and started talking about his personal life? Without even connecting it to his writing ability but just accusing him of being a lazybum?

 

Bad form. Very bad form.

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Ugh, I wish I could say something about everyone here but since this is a 'family-friendly' site--

   te0FrhT.jpg                                                                                                                            

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"Ugh. Just ugh. That's way too much to establish in a year or even two. It also sounds far too much like the latter years of G1, where there were five no-set characters for every one.

 

Other elements? Cut. Previous Toa? Cut. Second island? Cut (For now)."

 

That is not way to much to "establish". It's PERFECTLY fine and its a great reboot story for Bio '15. Is it just me, or are you jealous that he made a great story line for Bio '15 than you did? Because I think he did a great job writing his story for Bio '15.

*quoted post edited for sanity*

 

I was just going to ignore you, but then you flung your opinion at me like a monkey, so instead I'll address you reasonably.

 

Firstly, G2 would have to attract and hold a new audience, not just the G1/ diehards like yourself, or it would not be profitable. This requires a simpler world than G1 had at the end, at least initially. Having twelve elements, when six of them are hardly relevant to the plot, is unnecessary world-building, which the new fan would have to absorb or lose the story. So we cut it.

 

A secondary island, after cutting the extra, unnecessary elements, becomes useless when one island has enough room for six elemental zones with room to spare. This single island also has enough room to place many secret locations, given that the current residents are long declined. Therefore, cut the second island. (And Okoto Nui? Poor name)

 

Previous Toa? That's worth a consideration, but in TMS' story they're simply a fanservice excuse. Were we to claim that some of the Skulls were fallen guardians from a centuries-old team of Toa, that could fly, since they're obviously long decomposed. However, by having a previous team of Toa named from the word go, we also run the risk of alienating new fans. Hence we bin that idea for now, like the second island.

 

As for the "final village" apocalypse plot, G2 is a children's story, and as such we don't want to trigger the parents into thinking this is too dark for their child. So the apocalypse and final resistance is scaled back to "fallen from power", where the villagers were a mighty civilization, but have fragmented into tribes after the loss of their leader. Thus, we maintain the feeling of 'dark ages' without scaring parents into not buying for their children.

 

TMS is very creative, and could have real talent, but his G2 story is more like G1 fan fiction than a feasible and plausible reboot for a series that needs to shed a lot of excess baggage to attract new and younger fans outside the cult following the previous incarnation had.

 

Finally, let's tackle the 'issue' of my jealousy. I am 24, almost twice TMS and your age. Am I jealous of something a 13-year-old wrot e in ten minutes and that another 13-year-old messed his pants over? No. Frankly, I've got bigger concerns.

 

I did think that TMS story was poor, but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill. I wasn't seething in impotent rage that I couldn't make you squeal like a schoolgirl who's gotten tickets to a Justin Bieber/One Direction concert.

 

***

 

ToaMarkSurge, well done at the attempt. I'm sure you had fun writing that, and I would be more than willing to critique your story properly over PM. But, for the reasons stated above, it might need a little more thought if you want to writing it in more detail.

"but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill"

 

I know ToaMarkSurge has a "life experience" and "real writing skill". But what about YOU :glare: ? What if your Mom knows that your BASICALLY on a kids site instead of exercising, have a job, or something? I do exercising but no job(because I'm 13. I'm not allowed to get a job yet) and I do Tae Kwon Do and all kinds of stuff.

Gipsy Danger.

 

How about you stop with the ###### ad hominem and focus on the content of Regitnui's post? He did raise some valid points with regards to the potential flaws in TMS's story. And yet you ignored the actual crux of his argument and started talking about his personal life? Without even connecting it to his writing ability but just accusing him of being a lazybum?

 

Bad form. Very bad form.

 

I am not calling him a "lazybum".  Only ONE valid point did I see.

A signature is supposed to be this:

 

Jaeger_Gipsy_Danger_Decal_02.png

 

and BTW https://screen.yahoo.com/star-trek-convention-000000768.html

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"Firstly, G2 would have to attract and hold a new audience, not just the G1/ diehards like yourself, or it would not be profitable. This requires a simpler world than G1 had at the end, at least initially. Having twelve elements, when six of them are hardly relevant to the plot, is unnecessary world-building, which the new fan would have to absorb or lose the story. So we cut it."

Who's we? It's my story, is it not?

 

"A secondary island, after cutting the extra, unnecessary elements, becomes useless when one island has enough room for six elemental zones with room to spare. This single island also has enough room to place many secret locations, given that the current residents are long declined. Therefore, cut the second island. (And Okoto Nui? Poor name)"

Nobody (except you) has cut out anything. Also, ON is still a part of Okoto, which is why it's named Okoto Nui by the Matoran. Heck, the island isn't even used untill the dead Toa Alac are defeated.

"Previous Toa? That's worth a consideration, but in TMS' story they're simply a fanservice excuse. Were we to claim that some of the Skulls were fallen guardians from a centuries-old team of Toa, that could fly, since they're obviously long decomposed. However, by having a previous team of Toa named from the word go, we also run the risk of alienating new fans. Hence we bin that idea for now, like the second island."

It's not a fanservice to anyone. Just an idea I came up with.

"As for the "final village" apocalypse plot, G2 is a children's story, and as such we don't want to trigger the parents into thinking this is too dark for their child. So the apocalypse and final resistance is scaled back to "fallen from power", where the villagers were a mighty civilization, but have fragmented into tribes after the loss of their leader. Thus, we maintain the feeling of 'dark ages' without scaring parents into not buying for their children."

I never said Takoto was the last village, it's were all the remaining Matoran (quite a lot) have gathered to battle against the Skull Spiders.

"TMS is very creative, and could have real talent, but his G2 story is more like G1 fan fiction than a feasible and plausible reboot for a series that needs to shed a lot of excess baggage to attract new and younger fans outside the cult following the previous incarnation had."

That's why a lot of this stuff (Makuta being in the Skull Spiders, the Lord of Skull Spiders being able to transform,) is saved for another year.

"I did think that TMS story was poor, but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill. I wasn't seething in impotent rage that I couldn't make you squeal like a schoolgirl who's gotten tickets to a Justin Bieber/One Direction concert."

I have plenty of life experience.

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"Ugh. Just ugh. That's way too much to establish in a year or even two. It also sounds far too much like the latter years of G1, where there were five no-set characters for every one.

 

Other elements? Cut. Previous Toa? Cut. Second island? Cut (For now)."

 

That is not way to much to "establish". It's PERFECTLY fine and its a great reboot story for Bio '15. Is it just me, or are you jealous that he made a great story line for Bio '15 than you did? Because I think he did a great job writing his story for Bio '15.

*quoted post edited for sanity*

 

I was just going to ignore you, but then you flung your opinion at me like a monkey, so instead I'll address you reasonably.

 

Firstly, G2 would have to attract and hold a new audience, not just the G1/ diehards like yourself, or it would not be profitable. This requires a simpler world than G1 had at the end, at least initially. Having twelve elements, when six of them are hardly relevant to the plot, is unnecessary world-building, which the new fan would have to absorb or lose the story. So we cut it.

 

A secondary island, after cutting the extra, unnecessary elements, becomes useless when one island has enough room for six elemental zones with room to spare. This single island also has enough room to place many secret locations, given that the current residents are long declined. Therefore, cut the second island. (And Okoto Nui? Poor name)

 

Previous Toa? That's worth a consideration, but in TMS' story they're simply a fanservice excuse. Were we to claim that some of the Skulls were fallen guardians from a centuries-old team of Toa, that could fly, since they're obviously long decomposed. However, by having a previous team of Toa named from the word go, we also run the risk of alienating new fans. Hence we bin that idea for now, like the second island.

 

As for the "final village" apocalypse plot, G2 is a children's story, and as such we don't want to trigger the parents into thinking this is too dark for their child. So the apocalypse and final resistance is scaled back to "fallen from power", where the villagers were a mighty civilization, but have fragmented into tribes after the loss of their leader. Thus, we maintain the feeling of 'dark ages' without scaring parents into not buying for their children.

 

TMS is very creative, and could have real talent, but his G2 story is more like G1 fan fiction than a feasible and plausible reboot for a series that needs to shed a lot of excess baggage to attract new and younger fans outside the cult following the previous incarnation had.

 

Finally, let's tackle the 'issue' of my jealousy. I am 24, almost twice TMS and your age. Am I jealous of something a 13-year-old wrot e in ten minutes and that another 13-year-old messed his pants over? No. Frankly, I've got bigger concerns.

 

I did think that TMS story was poor, but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill. I wasn't seething in impotent rage that I couldn't make you squeal like a schoolgirl who's gotten tickets to a Justin Bieber/One Direction concert.

 

***

 

ToaMarkSurge, well done at the attempt. I'm sure you had fun writing that, and I would be more than willing to critique your story properly over PM. But, for the reasons stated above, it might need a little more thought if you want to writing it in more detail.

"but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill"

 

I know ToaMarkSurge has a "life experience" and "real writing skill". But what about YOU :glare: ? What if your Mom knows that your BASICALLY on a kids site instead of exercising, have a job, or something? I do exercising but no job(because I'm 13. I'm not allowed to get a job yet) and I do Tae Kwon Do and all kinds of stuff.

Gipsy Danger.

 

How about you stop with the ###### ad hominem and focus on the content of Regitnui's post? He did raise some valid points with regards to the potential flaws in TMS's story. And yet you ignored the actual crux of his argument and started talking about his personal life? Without even connecting it to his writing ability but just accusing him of being a lazybum?

 

Bad form. Very bad form.

I am not calling him a "lazybum". Only ONE valid point did I see.
Unless I'm reading too much into this:

 

But what about YOU :glare: ? What if your Mom knows that your BASICALLY on a kids site instead of exercising, have a job, or something? I do exercising but no job(because I'm 13. I'm not allowed to get a job yet) and I do Tae Kwon Do and all kinds of stuff.

What were you meaning to imply here?

 

And which of these points was the "valid one"? What makes the others invalid? Please elaborate (in fact, this probably applies to a lot of other stuff you say, for from what I observed, you have a habit of stating a thesis but not supplying much in the way of evidence to back it up).

 

Firstly, G2 would have to attract and hold a new audience, not just the G1/ diehards like yourself, or it would not be profitable. This requires a simpler world than G1 had at the end, at least initially. Having twelve elements, when six of them are hardly relevant to the plot, is unnecessary world-building, which the new fan would have to absorb or lose the story. So we cut it.

A secondary island, after cutting the extra, unnecessary elements, becomes useless when one island has enough room for six elemental zones with room to spare. This single island also has enough room to place many secret locations, given that the current residents are long declined. Therefore, cut the second island. (And Okoto Nui? Poor name)

Previous Toa? That's worth a consideration, but in TMS' story they're simply a fanservice excuse. Were we to claim that some of the Skulls were fallen guardians from a centuries-old team of Toa, that could fly, since they're obviously long decomposed. However, by having a previous team of Toa named from the word go, we also run the risk of alienating new fans. Hence we bin that idea for now, like the second island.

As for the "final village" apocalypse plot, G2 is a children's story, and as such we don't want to trigger the parents into thinking this is too dark for their child. So the apocalypse and final resistance is scaled back to "fallen from power", where the villagers were a mighty civilization, but have fragmented into tribes after the loss of their leader. Thus, we maintain the feeling of 'dark ages' without scaring parents into not buying for their children.

EDIT: ninja'd by TMS Edited by One-Eyed Construct
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Finally, let's tackle the 'issue' of my jealousy. I am 24, almost twice TMS and your age. Am I jealous of something a 13-year-old wrot e in ten minutes and that another 13-year-old messed his pants over? No. Frankly, I've got bigger concerns.

 

Bigger concerns?  Like making sure your mom doesn't find out your on a forum for a kids toy line?

 

"but because he is a 13-year-old kid on the internet without life experience or real writing skill"

 

know ToaMarkSurge has a "life experience" and "real writing skill".  But what about YOU :glare: ?  What if your Mom knows that your BASICALLY on a kids site instead of exercising, have a job, or something?  I do exercising but no job(because I'm 13.  I'm not allowed to get a job yet) and I do Tae Kwon Do and all kinds of stuff.

 

You two are adorable. :D I just want to pat you on your heads and give you candy.

 

 

 

 

For one, I'd make it that the kinks in the Toa's personalities were caused by the fact that they had just crashed into an island at an insane speed. Tahhu know has some trouble remembering certain things, Kopaka's now dizzy and slips at random, and Onua's quite drowsy. Gali doesn't tell bad jokes (that's Lewa's job), and Pohatu's fear of the dark is etched into his personality.

 

Second, I'd make it so that the island was in really bad shape when the Toa arrive. The Matoran were trying valiantly to hold off the Skull Spiders, but ultimately failed and were forced into hiding. However, those who had survived or weren't taken over by the Skull Spiders gathered in Takoto, and formed the Okoto Resistance Team, which consisted of the Turaga and several generals.

 

Third, the reason the Toa were sent to Okoto was because there was turmoil on their home planets. War had broken out between the inhabitants and brain esque creatures, and automatons with H's in their chests (I just did that) helped the Toa, who were injured badly at the time, get off planet and onto Okoto, which they thought was safer. However something went wrong, causing the craft the Toa were in to explode, and they each landed in their respective regions, with no memory of their past lives.

 

Fourth, there'd already be Toa on the island, known as the Toa Alac, with Toa Takaer, the Toa Alac of Fire, leading them. Several horrible incidents occured, resulting in Toa Henetu, Toa Alac of Stone, being experimented on and turned into a scorpion, Toa Mangwa, Toa Alac of Jungle, obtaining two more arms, and Toa Nuamonua, Toa Alac of Earth, grew horns on his head. One day, these five Toa were killed in action, resulting in Toa Ganoh, Toa Alac of Water, to leave the team. This left Vofe, Toa Alac of Lightning, Strah, Toa Alac of Sonics, Nunua, Toa Alac of Psionics, Galeka, Toa Alac of Gravity, Inab, Toa Alac of Iron, and Marka, Toa Alac of Magnetism to guard Okoto.

After they buried their comrades in the Ancient City, the Toa Alac thought that was the last time they'd ever see their friends, however the fallen Toa Alac rose up from the dead one day, thanks to the spirit of Makuta. Now, the only way for them to rest peacefully was to steal the elemental powers from the Toa Kotos' Kanohi.

 

Fifth, there're actually two parts of Okoto. There's Okoto, and then there's Okoto Nui, which was once part of Okoto, untill the battle between Ekimu and Makuta, when the island broke off. However, it is connected via land bridge, and can be reached after a thirty minute walk. Okoto Nui holds Bakoto, Cekoto, Dekoto, Fakoto, Fekoto, and Vokoto, and is home to Ba-Matoran, Ce-Matoran, De-Matoran, Fa-Matoran, Fe-Matoran, and Vo-Maotran, as well as Rahi.

 

Sixth, the Skull Spiders aren't true Rahi, and are instead masks with legs, created by Makuta. Each Skull Spider has Makuta's spirit, so whenever a Skull Spider takes control of a Matoran or a Toa, they're just releasing Makuta into their mind and allowing him to poses the body.

 

Seventh, the Lord of Skull Spiders, Sidaka, is actually using his spider form as a disguise, and is, in his true form, a tall, dark being who wields a staff that controls whomever it touches, and he wears the Golden Mask of Skull Spiders, or Kanohi Ahes.

 

Eighth, there're twelve Turaga, Vakama, Whenua, Onewa, Matau, Nokama, Nuju, Latu (Lightning), Pikur (Psionics), Sayet (Sonics), Ocefa (Gravity), Lafevo (Iron), and Greni (Magnetism).

 

Ninth, the Toa's normal masks contain their elemental powers, and their Golden Masks give them their original Mata powers.

Ugh. Just ugh. That's way too much to establish in a year or even two. It also sounds far too much like the latter years of G1, where there were five no-set characters for every one.

 

Other elements? Cut. Previous Toa? Cut. Second island? Cut (For now).

 

So, criticism, opinions? PEACH.

 

1: Never said it was in year one alone.

2: Why? Other elements makes it more interesting.

3: The other Toa aren't even revealed untill the Skull Villain wave.

4: The second island is technically still a part of Okoto, due to the land bridge.

 

1. Well, the Skulls arc is the second half of the first year. So I'm presuming all of this comes up in the Skulls' backstory, which we will start hearing about from July/August. That'd drop a lot on anyone, even six months after joining. It'd scare off a lot of people. That sort of backstory is best built up over years, like G1 did.

 

2. Because most of those elements are either complicated (Gravity, magnetism, plasma), can be confused for each other or existing elements (Fire-Plasma, Gravity-Magnetism, etc.) or are just way too overpowered (Psionics). Yes, they're interesting in a OC or role-play kind of way, but they really do just clog up good, sensible design in a non-interactive medium.

 

3. The Skulls arc is a first-year thing. We can see that. So again, too much, too quickly. These 'secondary' elements were only introduced five or more years into G1, after the Metru and Hordika arcs.

 

4. Why don't we have the same six elements on the continent, but with great civilisations like the Metrus from G1? The secondary elements have been dealt with previously.

 

And responding to your new posts, I'm not claiming you don't have life experience, but you're 13. There's a lot more to life, and so many wonderful flavours of pain to feel before you can call yourself an adult. Yes you have life experience, but you will have so much more in a decade or so, and you'll be so much better at what you do.

:r: :e: :g: :i: :t: :n: :u: :i:

Elemental Rahi in Gen2, anyone? A write-up for an initial video for a G2 plot

 

I really wish everyone would stop trying to play join the dots with Gen 1 and Gen 2 though,it seems there's a couple new threads everyday and often they're duplicates of already existing conversations! Or simply parallel them with a slightly new 'twist'! Gen 2 is NEW, it is NOT Gen 1 and it is NOT a continuation. Outside of the characters we already have I personally don't want to see ANY old characters return. I think it will cheapen the whole experience to those of us familiar with the original line...

 

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Okay, picture this: Okoto is now Bloodmurder Island, where the Protectors, in their casual disregard for life, are responsible for 10000 deaths daily.

 

Every Toa loses their current weapons in favor of the ultimate weapons: guns.

 

The Protectors are upgraded: two guns.

 

When Tahu lands, he kills 100 skull spiders and 200 villagers, to show he stone-cold does not give a frick.

 

When Gali lands, she kills 500 skull spiders and 1000 villagers, to show she's not like other girls. (This distinction is important, see, because other girls are vacuous and terrible, thus gritty Gali needs to distance herself from them.)

 

The Toa blaze their way to their mask shrines in a trail of death, destruction, and bullet casings until they reach their Golden Black Masks of Power Death. Upon donning them, all life within a 300 mile radius is straight up destroyed in a genocidal rampage that shows just how much these heroes are cool and dark.

 

When they convene at the ancient city, they are confronted by the incredibly deadly Lord of Skull Spiders, who has killed 300,000 villagers to date.

 

Luckily, though, Tahu, Master of KickButtitude, runs ahead of the rest and straight up rips that arachnid in half.

 

What happens next??? Who knows? But it will almost certainly involve death, edginess, and terrible writing.

So in other words, nothing like Gen 1.

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Okay, picture this: Okoto is now Bloodmurder Island, where the Protectors, in their casual disregard for life, are responsible for 10000 deaths daily.

 

Every Toa loses their current weapons in favor of the ultimate weapons: guns.

 

The Protectors are upgraded: two guns.

 

When Tahu lands, he kills 100 skull spiders and 200 villagers, to show he stone-cold does not give a frick.

 

When Gali lands, she kills 500 skull spiders and 1000 villagers, to show she's not like other girls. (This distinction is important, see, because other girls are vacuous and terrible, thus gritty Gali needs to distance herself from them.)

 

The Toa blaze their way to their mask shrines in a trail of death, destruction, and bullet casings until they reach their Golden Black Masks of Power Death. Upon donning them, all life within a 300 mile radius is straight up destroyed in a genocidal rampage that shows just how much these heroes are cool and dark.

 

When they convene at the ancient city, they are confronted by the incredibly deadly Lord of Skull Spiders, who has killed 300,000 villagers to date.

 

Luckily, though, Tahu, Master of KickButtitude, runs ahead of the rest and straight up rips that arachnid in half.

 

What happens next??? Who knows? But it will almost certainly involve death, edginess, and terrible writing.

So in other words, nothing like Gen 1.

 

She was being slightly sarcastic.

 

And the reboot has to be nothing like G1. That was the constraint in the OP, remember?

 

lastly, your pink text is difficult to read against the white background without highlighting.

Edited by Regitnui
  • Upvote 1

:r: :e: :g: :i: :t: :n: :u: :i:

Elemental Rahi in Gen2, anyone? A write-up for an initial video for a G2 plot

 

I really wish everyone would stop trying to play join the dots with Gen 1 and Gen 2 though,it seems there's a couple new threads everyday and often they're duplicates of already existing conversations! Or simply parallel them with a slightly new 'twist'! Gen 2 is NEW, it is NOT Gen 1 and it is NOT a continuation. Outside of the characters we already have I personally don't want to see ANY old characters return. I think it will cheapen the whole experience to those of us familiar with the original line...

 

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"The Skulls arc is a first-year thing. We can see that. So again, too much, too quickly. These 'secondary' elements were only introduced five or more years into G1, after the Metru and Hordika arcs."

 

Not in my version. 

Year 1: Skull Spiders

Year 2: Skull Villains

Year 3: Okoto-Nui

 

"Why don't we have the same six elements on the continent, but with great civilisations like the Metrus from G1? The secondary elements have been dealt with previously."

This isn't G1. I made sure of that.


 

 

Okay, picture this: Okoto is now Bloodmurder Island, where the Protectors, in their casual disregard for life, are responsible for 10000 deaths daily.

 

Every Toa loses their current weapons in favor of the ultimate weapons: guns.

 

The Protectors are upgraded: two guns.

 

When Tahu lands, he kills 100 skull spiders and 200 villagers, to show he stone-cold does not give a frick.

 

When Gali lands, she kills 500 skull spiders and 1000 villagers, to show she's not like other girls. (This distinction is important, see, because other girls are vacuous and terrible, thus gritty Gali needs to distance herself from them.)

 

The Toa blaze their way to their mask shrines in a trail of death, destruction, and bullet casings until they reach their Golden Black Masks of Power Death. Upon donning them, all life within a 300 mile radius is straight up destroyed in a genocidal rampage that shows just how much these heroes are cool and dark.

 

When they convene at the ancient city, they are confronted by the incredibly deadly Lord of Skull Spiders, who has killed 300,000 villagers to date.

 

Luckily, though, Tahu, Master of KickButtitude, runs ahead of the rest and straight up rips that arachnid in half.

 

What happens next??? Who knows? But it will almost certainly involve death, edginess, and terrible writing.

So in other words, nothing like Gen 1.

 

She was being slightly sarcastic.

 

And the reboot has to be nothing like G1. That was the constraint in the OP, remember?

 

lastly, your pink text is difficult to read against the white background without highlighting.

 

Slightly sarcastic? I'd hate to see fully sarcastice.

 

It's orange.

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"The Skulls arc is a first-year thing. We can see that. So again, too much, too quickly. These 'secondary' elements were only introduced five or more years into G1, after the Metru and Hordika arcs."

 

Not in my version. 

Year 1: Skull Spiders

Year 2: Skull Villains

Year 3: Okoto-Nui

 

"Why don't we have the same six elements on the continent, but with great civilisations like the Metrus from G1? The secondary elements have been dealt with previously."

This isn't G1. I made sure of that.

 

 

It's orange.

 

OK, in your version, you take three years to dump an abbreviated version of Gen1's MU on newbies. OK, I can accept that, Might not scare the kids off, but those that drop in at the third year might be overwhelmed. And it's pretty close to G1. I'm pretty sure that's why GD went a little squee for it.

 

Are you sure it's orange? It looks pink to me.

:r: :e: :g: :i: :t: :n: :u: :i:

Elemental Rahi in Gen2, anyone? A write-up for an initial video for a G2 plot

 

I really wish everyone would stop trying to play join the dots with Gen 1 and Gen 2 though,it seems there's a couple new threads everyday and often they're duplicates of already existing conversations! Or simply parallel them with a slightly new 'twist'! Gen 2 is NEW, it is NOT Gen 1 and it is NOT a continuation. Outside of the characters we already have I personally don't want to see ANY old characters return. I think it will cheapen the whole experience to those of us familiar with the original line...

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

"The Skulls arc is a first-year thing. We can see that. So again, too much, too quickly. These 'secondary' elements were only introduced five or more years into G1, after the Metru and Hordika arcs."

 

Not in my version. 

Year 1: Skull Spiders

Year 2: Skull Villains

Year 3: Okoto-Nui

 

"Why don't we have the same six elements on the continent, but with great civilisations like the Metrus from G1? The secondary elements have been dealt with previously."

This isn't G1. I made sure of that.

 

 

It's orange.

 

OK, in your version, you take three years to dump an abbreviated version of Gen1's MU on newbies. OK, I can accept that, Might not scare the kids off, but those that drop in at the third year might be overwhelmed. And it's pretty close to G1. I'm pretty sure that's why GD went a little squee for it.

 

Are you sure it's orange? It looks pink to me.

 

No, Gen 1 was Rahi, Bohrok, upgrade the Toa, Bohrok-Kal, Rahkshi, sudden plot twist to carry the theme into year 4.

 

Year 1: Similair to 2001, with the Toa arriving and claiming their masks, as well as the Matoran standing up to the Skull Spiders. However the Toa face Sidaka several times throughout the year, and during the end of the first year, they knock him off the bridge, presumably killing him.

Year 2: The Toa Koto split up to find Ekimu, and have their masks stolen by five skeletal warriors. The Toa Koto then meet the Toa Alac, who help them to reclaim their masks and awaken Ekimu, and, with their combined efforts, defeat the dead Toa Alac in a way that they can finally rest peacefully.

Year 3: There's trouble on Okoto Nui (don't ask what, I have no idea) and the Toa Koto and Toa Alac travel there to find a new threat (still have no idea what), and Sidaka is revealed to be alive.

 

So yeah, completely different.

 

Also, yep, it's orange. 

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I didn't mean it was G1 as in following the same storyline, I meant your story is a new story that's killed G1 like an Aztec priest and is now wearing its skin. Its not so much a reboot as a re-skinning, and barely that.

  • Upvote 1

:r: :e: :g: :i: :t: :n: :u: :i:

Elemental Rahi in Gen2, anyone? A write-up for an initial video for a G2 plot

 

I really wish everyone would stop trying to play join the dots with Gen 1 and Gen 2 though,it seems there's a couple new threads everyday and often they're duplicates of already existing conversations! Or simply parallel them with a slightly new 'twist'! Gen 2 is NEW, it is NOT Gen 1 and it is NOT a continuation. Outside of the characters we already have I personally don't want to see ANY old characters return. I think it will cheapen the whole experience to those of us familiar with the original line...

 

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