The Conspiracy Theory Game

[Geardirector]

(Approved by Windrider)

 

This is the game for making crazy conspiracy theories about virtually anything, it works like this:

 

Player 1: The next player has to make a conspiracy theory about gravity

 

Player 2: Gravity is a plot by the CIA to keep us on Earth.

 

And so it goes. Post a conspiracy theory about whatever the previous player offered you, and give the next player something new in return.

 

One word of advice: "The government" is obviously the source of many real-life conspiracy theories, but in order to avoid monotony, I advice you to also give mole men, aliens and the like a go as well, and most of all to have fun.

 

So with that out of the way, let's get started.

 

The next player has to make a conspiracy theory about Bicycles.

[JAG18]

Bicycles were invented by time traveling Eco-Activists attempting to destroy the car industry before it was even born.

 

Flashlights.

[Dapper-Sama]

Flashlights are powered by Martians the American government kidnapped, and they're being used as batteries.

 

Vaccinations.

[Snelly]

Vaccinations were invented in order to mutate the human race into superhumans, side effects vary.

 

Cats.

Edited April 15, 2014 by Yoko Littner

[Geardirector]

The ancients egyptians were right to worship cats as gods, because they are, and their patience with our constant mistakes is wearing thin.

 

The Beatles (Please avoid "x is dead")

[JAG18]

The Beatles were abducted by aliens, and in order to avoid an interplanetary war, the U.K. government made clones to replace them.

 

Spiders.

Edited April 15, 2014 by JAG18

[Sybre]

Mutated super-bugs designed to keep the bug population down, but also scaring humans into submission, hinting about an oncoming uprising.

 

Music.

[Spiderus Prime]

The Music makes everyone goes crazy,and so humans ever underground to hide it.

 

 

UNICRON!!!!

[Sybre]

His cartoon appearances predict a possible Unicron onslaught that may result in mass galaxy destruction.

 

Disney Channel (2014). Heheh, there's a horrible topic!

[Geardirector]

All the "different" programs are all part of the same boring and underwhelming sitcom.

 

Canada

Edited April 22, 2014 by Geardirector

[Ehksidian]

Canada is actually an alien space ship funded by the British government, sent to monitor the USA and subdue it if it attempts to rise up against the alien British Overlords that it doesn't know it has.

 

Clothing.

[Dapper-Sama]

Clothing was invented by aliens to alter human's evolution; specifically, hair development.

 

Hawaii.

[Spiderus Prime]

Hawaii is actually a Robot under near! (Sound familiar?)

 

 

Yoda

Edited April 15, 2014 by Spiderus Prime

[Dapper-Sama]

Yoda was born when a gremlin (from the movie Gremlins), a leper and Bruce Lee were fused in a science experiment.

 

YouTube.

[JAG18]

Is run by lizard men, who are using stupid videos to dumb down humans as preparation for their invasion...

 

Chocolate.

[Sybre]

A McDonald's-esque scheme that involves addictive chemicals, leading to eating massive servings of chocolate and rotting your teeth. Once you're fat and toothless, the lizard men that own the chocolate companies will rise up and take over.

 

Geometry

[JAG18]

An attempt by dolphins to make us smarter, before befriending us as "intellectual equals".

 

BIONICLE.

[Ehksidian]

Small, mechanical nanobots infused with the plastic, to cause children to eventually become robotic slaves to the company known as LEGO.

Nintendo.

[Spiderus Prime]

They actually Elves from the North Pole,and they used Plumbers as their mascots.

 

 

The Koopa Kingdom

Edited April 15, 2014 by Spiderus Prime

[Hexann]

An attempt to have mushrooms takeover the world by simply releasing themselves from their digital state mad by the NHK.

 

Onua Claw Piece

[Dapper-Sama]

The Koopae are benevolent creatures that only attacked Mario in self-defense.

 

Somewhere out there is a pair of razor-sharp Onua Claws that were in a box purchased by John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

 

(I know that's not possible, that's what makes it funny.)

 

Microsoft.

Edited April 15, 2014 by Dapper-Kun

[Hexann]

An ultimate attempt to unite Google and Apple to create an evil organization that will soon develop into the NHK

 

Pens

[Constructelf]

Microsoft is merely a front for a shadowy international organization of mad scientists and wannabe evil overlords. The revenue from product sold goes towards funding their world domination scheme.

 

Cell phones.

[Sybre]

Little devices that plague the country's youth into simple-minded slaves that spend too much money on phones.

 

The Internet

[Kopekemaster]

The internet is actually a living organism that feeds off of people's time.

 

Little siblings.

[Sybre]

Evil spawns of your own parents designed to bring misery and loud noises into your life. Sometimes they're nice to you, other times they aren't. But the point is, they like to ruin your life at times.

 

Dogs

[Constructelf]

Spies sent by the hidden canine civilization to study human behavior; they now have almost enough data on us to perform a swift takeover and cripple our society.

 

Bagels.

[Mr. Lightning Bolt]

Bagels are a plot by the bread industry to subvert the purity of the pastry industry, including donuts.

 

Rainbows.

[Sybre]

An advertisement from the Skittle industry inspiring you to buy more Skittles, thus wasting your money, but it might be worth it.

 

Starbucks (this should be good)

[Mr. Lightning Bolt]

An attempt by Merpeople to sell coffee to hipsters to divert them from their goal to make everyone hipster.

 

Deodorant.

[Dapper-Sama]

It contains acidic compounds that cause curled armpit hair.

 

Area 51.

[Sybre]

Do I even need to say it? Aliens hidden out in the desert by the government, by the way.

 

Recycling.

[Logan Tec]

Recycling is a way for the government to dispose of possible alien Tech used in products

 

 

Google

[Dapper-Sama]

If you know where to look, on one of the search pages there'll be top secret government files!

 

Petroleum.

[Some Random Phrase]

A substance produced by destructive aliens, who planted it here so they can hit it with a lazer that makes it explode all over the worlds.

 

BZPower.

[Dapper-Sama]

A figment of Hapori Tohu's imagination. (See "Who is Hapori Tohu?" for more details)

 

Japanese animators.

[Sybre]

People with amazing art styles that make TV shows that possess Americans into becoming crazy, butthurt fans.

 

Microphones

Edited April 16, 2014 by Sybre the Mental

[Geardirector]

Speaker mic is connected to actually not a speaker, but a tiny man in the box shouting everything.

 

Cutlery

[Voxumo]

Cutlery was an early attempt by aliens to give men advanced weaponry but it seemed they could never access the full functions of a fork

 

Alaska

[Pohatu: Uniter of Stone]

Alaska actually has a huge UFO beneath it, which is why the USA bought it and its low population is beuase the government scares people out.

 

An ordinary block of wood.