The Corrupt-A-Wish Game!

[IcarusBen]

Granted, but since I don't understand what you wished for, you get a pair of used, stinky gym socks.

 

I wish I was immortal and ageless to everything except for intentional suicide, with a guarantee to be let into Paradise when I die.

[Ghidora131]

Granted, unfortunately they mistake "paradise" for the fictional paradise falls, so when you get depressed and kill yourself, you're stuck in an endless loop of water and flickering light on TV sets for all eternity.

 

 

I wish I had a banana.

[ToaKapura1234]

Granted but it gets stolen by Pikmin.

 

I wish the following made sense: how does toast?

[Petewa]

Granted. But since the rest of your sentence didn't make sense either, none of it does and the granting is canceled,

 

 

 

 

I wish for people to read the invisible text,

[Onaku]

Granted, the people to read the invisible text are delivered to your house per request, and they proceed to reading the invisible text.

 

I wish for a large stack of cheese.

[Petewa]

Granted. You get the choice either to eat the stick, or to plant it in hopes for a cheese tree,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish for a bagel,

[Onaku]

You get NOTHING! You LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR!

 

I wish for soup.

[Unit#phntk#1]

Granted! You get fermented fish soup. More specifically, it's made with surströmming and hákarl. And that smells terrible! Almost as bad as a rotten banana sliding down a slide covered in the slime of a dripping pen filled with lemon flavored ink colored green! Maybe even worse, I haven't had it. Either way, I doubt you're going to want to eat it, unless you're from the parts of Sweden or Iceland where they eat that sort of stuff.

 

 

I wish for ants.

 

 

~Unit#phntk#1

[IcarusBen]

Granted. You receive a box of ants ~Unit#phntk#1.

 

Enjoy!

 

I wish for a vacuum cleaner that gets corrupted.

[Onaku]

Granted. Its corruption is on the meta-physical level, as the code for its existence is corrupted beyond use. The vacuum cleaner becomes a glitch in the universe, which proceeds to killing you as well as causing a heck of a lot of havoc in the nearby area.

 

I wish for burgers.

 

 

-unless you're from the parts of Sweden or Iceland where they eat that sort of stuff.

Actually, I'm from Iceland, so...

[McNugget]

Granted, they are those Rotten Krabby Patty's from that Spongebob episode where they poison the health inspector.

 

I wash for an incorruptible Wish

[Petewa]

Granted. You destroy the universe with its incorruptibility and the paradox consumes my wish in order to destroy itself,

 

 

Rest in peace Paradox, rest in peace,

[IcarusBen]

I wish for a PARADOX!

[Petewa]

Granted. Again. Same results.

[IcarusBen]

I wish for D5 to wish for something.

[Petewa]

Granted.

 

 

 

 

I wish for a bagel to cancel out the effects of paradoxes,

[IcarusBen]

Granted. However, it once again causes a paradox, because bagel.

 

I wish for a bottle of untampered, fresh and deliciously healthy water.

[Petewa]

Granted. But you are cursed with knowing that no water you ever taste will be as good as this fish urine here,

 

 

 

 

 

I wish for a bagel,

[IcarusBen]

Granted, but that bagel tastes like fish urine.

 

I wish for fish.

[Onaku]

Your wish for fish is granted, but that fish turns out to be a ten meter long rockjaw fish that proceeds to nom your head.

 

I wish for a good serving of fries, well salted, but not too salted.

[Petewa]

Granted. You go to Wendy's and ask for dead fries, meon p'fekkt, but sadly, the potato you eat had volunteered to wear the ignika in order to revive D3 Petewa, and now he'll remain dead for a while longer,

 

 

 

I wish for a bagel,

[Onaku]

That bagel is extensively rigged with explosives.

 

I wish for a bottle of cola.

[Petewa]

Granted. You get smoca cola, the cola which fills your lungs with poisonous gasses as you drink, but tastes and looks exactly like an average soda, enjoy.

 

 

 

 

I wish for something rigged with explosives,

[Onaku]

Granted. You get explosives rigged with explosives that are rigged with explosives rigged with the original explosives. This cycle of rigging causes the explosives to stop working, and instead implode.

 

I wish for peanut butter.

[Petewa]

Granted. Sadly, it gets stuck to your tongue and you are faced with the decision of either not talking for the next three months or going to the hospital and trying to get the people there to understand why you can't talk,

 

 

 

 

 

I wish to be spared when the President of the World tries and takes over,

[IcarusBen]

Granted, but since the President of the World already took over... eh... BOOM.

 

I wish for a bag of soup. Not soup mix, or ingredients for soup, I mean a big burlap sack of soup, broth, reconstituted chicken and all.

[Hordaki]

Granted, and it goes about as well as you would expect. Also the soup is cold and your stove and/or microwave and/or other device used for heating soup is broken.

 

I wish DC wouldn't rush their cinematic universe.

[IcarusBen]

Denied, since you missed the obvious joke about a bag of soup not holding the soup.

 

I fish for wish.

[Petewa]

Ungranted. You refused to use common grammar. Shame. On. You.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish to be spared when the little known President of the World kills off all undesirable men,

[Onaku]

Granted. You are killed in the invasion of the sexist aliens only moments after.

 

I wish for a pie. A proper good apple pie.

[Petewa]

Granted. You are so excited about the pie that you leave on vacation with it, fall in love with it, and it breaks your heart to realize that you must still consume its flesh, and you do, and it's delicious, and you realize, too soon, nothing you taste shall ever be as good as that little apple pie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish for a moment of silence to commemorate the death of Onaku's pie.

Edited April 8, 2015 by D5 Petewa

[IcarusBen]

Granted. You'll get that moment in 100,000 years. Until then, let me introduce you to my marching band. Boys?

 

DA DA DA DAA DA DA DAN, DA DA DA DADADA DAD AD DAN! DAN dananad DA. DA. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

 

I wish for a wish fish, but not a fish wish.

[Onaku]

Granted. It corrupts all of your wishes so much that it isn't ever worth it.

 

I wish for a door

[Petewa]

Granted. Sadly, no one has the decency to warn you that you are standing exactly where it will land, and as it materializes, it becomes permanently attached to you,

 

 

 

 

I wish for G2 McToran,

[Onaku]

Granted. They are horrible in quality, and their terrible attempt at paying homage to the original McToran ended up making them look like unusable lumps of plastic.

 

I wish I could use the door that's fused to me to open up portals to any place I want.

[Petewa]

Granted. So long as you can open it without injuring yourself,

 

 

 

 

I wish for something epic.

[Onaku]

Granted. You get an epic pile of merde all over you.

 

I wish for pineapples

[Petewa]

Granted. Pineapples appear in a similar manner as the door did, you now have pineapples instead of feet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT: I wish for bagels,

Edited April 8, 2015 by D5 Petewa

[IcarusBen]

Granted, but your lack of proper punctuation means I finish your sentence "I wish for bagels, and a time bomb strapped to my nose."

 

Boom.

 

I wish.

[Petewa]

...No.

 

 

 

 

 

I wish for bagels.Are you happy now?