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Mushy the Mushroom

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  1. Mushy the Mushroom
    T-Rex Train Video
    My dad has proven not to be steadfast around balloons again
    They have the peculiar habit of swooning him
    Understandably, however
    What a guilty pleasure
    ...a T-Rex as light as a feather!
    (Dad’s antique toy train, balloons attached with dental floss, a snapped dowel, a giant zip tie and tape. Metal insulation tape track toothpicked down, fishing line to drag him across the ground.)
    And the BTS mess:
    Dino Derailment Video
    Had to make a little, quick,  thank you card from some foamies.

    Presently not much to blog, WIPs going on and haven't gotten around to scanning some artstuffs. It’s August, which means the time to start the Winter presents! 
    The velveteen Dino! And his Beloved Egg. Inspired by my love . (With the Ghostly drafting test subject). Made from fabric via my grandma’s basement. Seed bead pearly-whites (teeth), weight from with a small pack of BBs I maybe stole from my dad, bead-toes, handsewn waxed embroidery floss backstitch skin details, and two button eyes with tiny punched leather irises and pupils. French knots on Beloved Egg.


    This is the most relatable meme I have ever encountered: 

    So many pairs. Turned the EGD socks (Yellow for fall risk at this hospital) into a Socktopus. Complete with Fall risk collar. And a recent wristband reef. Pattern still needs refinement, didn’t bother with a muslin/tester. Lace handsewn around the eye sockets and eyes made from buttons with fabric yo-yos sewn on them. Lower body made from white PUL, weighted with BBS also.

     
    Life: Medi-drama edition. (TMI warning, as usual.)
     
    It’s easy to get lost at hospitals. Especially university hospitals. When you learned to navigate the other university hospital but changed systems.  And when every ultrasound has been in a different wing. When you’ve been to three different buildings. And your mom is starting to panic. But thanks to transport shuttles (basically free hospital Uber) and a fire truck, an evacuation, and a news crew in the building my EGD was in, I wasn’t late!
    As they snapped my old friend, the fall-risk bracelet on my wrist, it soaked in that “I’ve not been unconscious since the PICU. They wouldn’t even use anesthesia during the wisdom tooth extraction. Did I just sign up for a lethal injection? Guess I’ll find out, haha..?.” It was more surgical than I expected. Got to borrow a lovely gown, two hairnets and a lovely gift of ye olde grip-socks. Hand IVS were a new experience, and those rooms are quite small. Then they rolled the bed thing into the surgery room with a gigantic digital clock. To my surprise, four nurses and three surgeons were present, apparently due to being on ASA III and violent past anesthesia reactions. Then they put a mouth guard over the teeth and a nose oxygen tube, then started the IV. Woke up back in the small room to my mom telling me that the doctor had told her everything looked normal, except for “Excessive stomach fluid, was suctioned with good visualization”.  How strange that looked in the photos. They said NPO (nothing by mouth) for two hours before the procedure, but I did NPO for four hours prior to be sure I didn’t mess it up. But still, a stomach flood was there. Also got a Tylenol IV and free ginger ale, the latter of which was the highlight of the day. And had the first wheelchair ride in a long time. Spent about 3-4 weeks in one of these once, and was counted as a happy weirdo for dubbing it my “Sweet Ride”.
    Biopsies found no evidence of Celiac, Mastocytosis or other damage via the samples from four-foot long scope, so I was sent for more bloodwork to rule it out genetically, and a Gastric emptying study.
    I was given a lovely meal of toasts with jam, a 4oz water and scrambled eggs laced with radioactive tracers. Radiologist: “Try not to touch the eggs since they’re radioactive, drop any of it, or get it on your clothes. Also, try to save a sip of the water to wash it off your throat”. I hadn’t eaten an actual meal in months, just bullions and electrolyte drinks. It was so delicious (despite the aftermath of nausea, dry facial rash/flushing, massive ankle edema and low heart rate) . Then they did a one-minute scan of my stomach in this thing. The ceilings in scan rooms always seem to have beautiful photo tiles of cherry blossom trees and the sky.
    Then they periodically repeated the scans over a period of four hours. ‘Twas a fun morning of hanging out with Baby Yoda (I have no shame) and drawing. And blasting “Radioactive” song piano cover in honor of the Nuclear Medicine experience. Also got to graffiti Baby Yoda on their garden rock.

    The Celiac genetic test results stated that it was a possible, but “unlikely” cause.
    And the solid gastric emptying test came back normal. 
    So another period of “just have to survive to the ‘next steps’ appointment ” began. 
    I can deal with the stabbing ER level gut pain, but when the ankles become that swollen and my heart rate drops to 47,  it’s not good. This happened when I had a serious electrolyte derangement before. Got labs on Saturday at Urgent care. But it wasn’t electrolytes or PCM. Then got a Monday EKG and labs at Primary care. Since last October, my heart has apparently grown. In light of learning this, I’d like to say that I do love you all very much.

     Primary care ignored the result, so I ended up back at Urgent care the next Saturday again with still swelling ankles, heart rate dropping to 45, and total deafness in my left ear. The same doctor and nurse were there. Heard him saying “She’s back? But I don’t know what to do!” in a concerned panic outside the door. So he referred me to Cardiology and an ENT. 
    On the Monday after, I took another trip to the ER. LLQ pain and chills that max-dose Tylenol couldn’t touch. I normally just wait it out, but hoped maybe they would figure out what was wrong. I’d sign up for dissection at this point,  if it would provide answers. That was a 7hr stay, the longest ER so far. Still no knowing or relief, but a non-intestinal cause was ruled out via ultrasound. I’ve learned it’s easier just to print out the scroll of symptoms and positive test results and hand them to doctors. They seem cool with it.
    GI Zoom visit ensued the next day (woo, made it!). I’m getting another EGD-type procedure on Monday. And it’s with new, partial anesthesia, so that should be an experience. There’s “prep” for this one. New COVID restrictions mean that my mom cannot come inside the hospital and just has to drop me off at the door. At least backpack-Baby Yoda can come. Maybe I won’t get lost, they only give the suite address and not the floor number. Weird to realize I’ve never actually done anything adult-like on my own before. I feel like I have the real-world knowledge level of Buddy the Elf. 
    And apparently liquid gastric emptying studies are more accurate, so that’s getting repeated on Tuesday since the EGD still suggests stomach paralysis. Yay for ingesting more nuclear nuggets. XD
    After all this, I get to attempt to eat 4 slices of bread/day for six weeks then eat a camera (capsule endoscopy) to formally rule out patchy Celiac damage (..and look for another thing). They had instructed me to consume only the pediatric amount of 1/2 slice bread/day for the EGD, given the symptom severity, so 4 slices should hopefully be enough to wreck the gut if it’s truly Celiac.
    ENT visit ensued a few hours later that day. Impromptu Nasoscopy. I’m scarred. The doctor was scarred. There were tears. Maybe it would have been worse without numbing cotton balls? RIP to the left-side hearing for possibly the next 3 months, apparently fluid is trapped in there due to Eustachian tube dysfunction.
    Wednesday was a phone call scheduling sprint. I have no idea how people deal with this stuff when they’re “real adults”. Thanks, Mom, for doing all the hard stuff while I try to force myself to sit upright for like an hour then crash on the couch. 
    Thursday, yesterday, the cardiologist appointment happened. They’re doing an Echocardiogram in a month, and gave me my first cell phone! A Samsung, I think? It doesn’t really do anything, though. It’s a 30-day heart monitor. It has a battery that attaches to the human sticker, and the batteries get charged and switched once a week. I’m supposed to stay within 10ft of the phone, so thankfully it clips onto stuff. There’s a button to push to report symptoms on the phone, and it’s waterproof. The company monitors it 24/7 and will call if they see something going wrong. Then you ship it all back in the box. Feels so Sci-Fi.

    Very close. Overjoyed about this, because time’s running out. I've lost 20lbs in three months. My weight’s in the 80s, I’m starving and cannot feel it, just nausea and pain, other stuff and that bizarre dry facial flushing/rash when I eat, drink or just wake up. Weird, because last September I just got so exhausted, had heart rates in the 40s, cried when I tried to lift my arms, lost my appetite but simultaneously, rapidly gained ~8lbs (Maybe fluid-weight? It was all in my face and ankles.) It stayed like that for months. Primary care didn’t believe I was unwell and unable to eat because of this (“You don’t look sick”). 
    All I presently have confirmed via med tests is: Elevated TTG Iga, blood abnormalities, the fact that I never grew like normal, joint hyper mobility, gut intussusception, sometimes delayed stomach emptying/possible gastroparesis, and cardiac enlargement/malfunctions. I’ve only had abdominal and hand imaging so far, and doctors keep implying that a brain/whole body scan should have been done, but I am unsure who would do that. GI Doctor has become my PCP, at this point.
    I’m thankful to just have proof of this stuff. I photo-documented all the visible manifestations when it began. Rashes, swelling, home vitals. 
    I’m glad, as one primary care doctor in December accused me of “anxiety and somatic complaints” and refused to give me any tests or referrals. At this point, I’d lost the ability to do normal living, go to stores, sleep, eat, and sometimes stand upright or move. She told me it was in my head, lied about test biomarkers, said it was fine to be surviving on dangerous amounts of ibuprofen, it was normal to almost die from local dental anesthesia, said it was fine that my body had never grown normally /functioned properly, and then tried to get me on mood-altering drugs. No. 
    I am thankful to say I’ve never encountered a human so intentionally..like this...before. I wish I could stand up for myself on the spot. My mom gawked in silent horror. I just sat there, frozen. I absolutely forgive you, and love you as a fellow human being. But you will never, ever see me again. For a few moments of utter frustration over this, I yearned for an incredibly foolish permanent solution to the temporary problem. How could I escape this suffering? Like a nightmare where you’re attempting to shriek but the shadows consume the sound. My dad made homemade soap once... But wait. This isn’t my life. This is not my choice. And then she would have won. And possibly crush others. It’s on. I fought and got that referral, actually from a different PCP. Yay for medical messaging systems, a way to communicate without actually having to talk. The first one was to an Endocrinologist, who ran a lab that finally, in late April, proved there was a problem. I couldn’t believe she found anything. It’s strange how relief manifests as uncontrollable sobbing sometimes. Then she sent me to GI and rheumatology. And the proof started to roll in. Now waiting for a genetics EDS appointment at the other university hospital, which might take up to a year. Life is so beautifully, chaotically unpredictable!
    ~The miracle~
    I’m on my dad’s insurance, and the deductible is massive. The company tried to deny coverage on a large number of the procedures/tests. I’m so grateful to my parents for covering all the past  bills, but honestly, we’d run out of money.
    A hospital billing dude called and requested 3k for a CT before they would do it. I nearly dropped the phone as the thought of “I have a Baby Yoda doll, a pack of gum, and a lot of passions that I’m too tired to use for monetary gain.” ran through my head. My mom was considering getting another job to pay for it, but knew it wasn’t a medically good idea to leave me home alone. She suggested applying for financial assistance at the hospital. Wrote the letter of my situation and sent it in, didn’t expect anything. 
    But they provided 100% coverage on everything, at least for three months, then I can reapply. All the bills voided. All of it. A free gift. How is that even possible? But they had mercy upon this mere mush’?!? I am eternally grateful, ever unworthy!
    I’ve turned the internet inside out researching medical DDXs and scientific studies for nine months. One thing keeps showing up, should be interesting to see if that is it, or some other wildcard. Or multiple, haha. If I almost die enough times, maybe one day I’ll figure out why.  I don’t care what it is, or if there’s a cure. I just hope to know the name of the bodily oppressor (And to be able to eat actual food again. There is going to be a major shortage of supreme pizza, watermelon and ice cream when/if this happens). Never giving up. Childish trust kicked in a long time ago. One day I will know .
    Additional spam meme because I wonder if this is ever a problem:

     

    He gives you his best smile, to bid you the finest of weekends.
    Fin!

     
     
     
  2. Mushy the Mushroom
    Good Dawning, dear comrades! 
    And by golly, the months melt by. 
    I must so apologize for lack of coherence to reply well to such goodheartedness received here, unimaginable appreciation and thanksgiving to each of you! I owe so much to this site, the little, so-loved Lego city!
    A little homelife hurricane-eye era gallery I forgot about. Started sketch March 2022. I was shedding raretears after a dead-end doctor visit while drawing it, if I’m honest.
    But I lived through a lot more than I ever would have believed, thankfully! Picked up and completed this year.

     
    Cards printed from my zebra drawing-I think these were thanks cards for birthday gifts? 

     
    Fixatif-ing old art because eventually I find out how to do things…sometimes...
    .
     
    A flooring scrap and thin cutting board travel artpad that I never anticipated using in the situations that swiftly followed. I can confirm it’s rather worn out now. 

     
    I somehow had my scanner resolution so rough it’s barely discernible, but maybe it’s for the best given the story here. I decided to draw my distant aunt’s Anatolian shepherd, Tippy, as a thanks gift, as out of the ocean blue(?) she sent a gift.  Then another gift, which was very generous… and looking back this was uncanny given what wrongs were going on at home, then I was blocked on social media, though no interaction was ever exchanged, only mailed christmas cards and felt ornaments and occasional like posts from family I didn’t see. I guess I don’t have an aunt anymore, or anyone on that side?. Sadly, strangely, sorry-ingly. I guess I’m grateful to never have been allowed to attach or interact prior, the separation would hurt more? It’s an odd thing, to become aware of mourning something you never genuinely had. So nice to say “Aunt, uncle and cousins!”- Like beloved characters in a book. You hear about them, know their happenings at length, but can’t quite access their world. I liked believing it, the belonging that goes along with it. So I’ll appreciate that time of that pretend.  (PS Cannot recommend hammock-lapdesk art, poor posture choices on my part and promptly abandoned, haha. )

     
    I am unsure if this was instinct, or if it was a blessing before its time. For around four years we’d stored some very filthy inherited possessions in attic totes. Platters, china, statues and odd trinkets brought back from my mom’s family home for safekeeping, in light of the place sitting in an abandoned state of disrepair half a day’s drive away. I decided it was time my mom got to enjoy them! Funny metal fluff to get off the tar.  Do you play Cinderella when you scrub stuff? Or perhaps a Bohrok? A great gear to turn the wheel of cheer!
     
    🎶
    Ah, those good old days when we were useful...
    Suddenly those good old days are gone
    Ten years we've been rusting
    Needing so much more than dusting
    Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills!
    🎶

     
    For mother’s day decor, 2022. No idea if I posted this prior!
    🎶
    She's our guest!
    Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!
    🎶

    Ivory ponies, polished for bro’s home (apartment, in actuality)!


     
    And statuary with dust undeniably scary. My grandmother’s whole house was once engulfed in this.

    I do think there must have been some kind of inkling of impending doom driving a lot of trying to invent special, for-mom happiness. My efforts seemed to further ignite an explosion from another element, upsettingly. Right there in the lower rooms, the heirlooms sat ready as the tumultuous, unexpected trek took place.
     
    When family lacks, but grandfather’s monkeybank with a snack has your back!

    🎶
    With your meal, with your ease
    Yes, indeed, we aim to please
    While the candlelight's still glowing
    Let us help you, We'll keep going
    🎶
    Fast forward to October, as such scenes seem better in-order.
    A barn box, caulked and reclaimed-painted. We found a big branch to put up my human swing here! Over the past couple years at our old house, I started swinging daily by the duckpond for some form of physical activity/fun/pain distraction because of weakness and joint pain/not being able to walk or stand much at all. 
     
     
    Of course the baby couldn’t just sit on the ground here, wouldn’t be prudent! And a read-tree for dear Mum, where she may sun her silken coat, so pretty plum. 
    Red shirt/dress may or may not be my Winnie the Pooh dress from when I was a human child.

    Still more than just a bear, btw.
     
    It was soon discovered that my swing was in fact to be Mum’s also, though.
    I fast found out I couldn’t propel it anymore. I hadn’t noticed I was shallow-shuffling instead of stepping.  I was so busy pretending to be well, not able to use the wheelchair in the condition of this house, absent-mindedly on plaquenil and painpills, in knee braces because I had a home to build and clean! I was just sitting there on the swing after a few kicks and my legs sat immovable. I couldn’t get my feet off the ground or slide them into shoes all for days. That ability returned but not the full lifting of lower legs/stepping.
     
    (In brackets due to medical/disease content, my apologies if disturbing, not sure if I should/how to use spoiler tags anymore)
    [ Five days from swing setup, neurology did the EMG and skin punch biopsy to evaluate the pre-fleeing ambiguous disease progression numbness. Also, they noticed my toe-lifting paralysis that seemed to upset them, a progression which had escaped me.The tests involved probing the leg nerves with a zapper tool and measuring the reaction. It appeared similar to an ultrasound. Then they took two BB-sized skin biopsy samples from my leg with a hole punch. They said the results took a few weeks.
    And I was prescribed Gabapentin for sleep and pain. That had the reverse effect and made me rather lobotomized, unable to feel my body and terribly sad. Also, hello hives! Very much a personal-refuser of the mind altering medications, this is the closest encounter I’ve had to one. 
    The medical daytrip/appointment/procedures done late last are a blur.  Casually showing up there like a normal, civilized chronically ill human when in reality refusing to take a single day off renovation attempts with reckless inspiration. There are some things they need not know, haha
    I lost count of the amount of diagnostic GI procedures I’ve had at this point, the last one was in late August and I think it must have been the 6th one in 14 months? Two full years now since the really high tTg IgA test.  I told them at the time Celiac certainly did not add up and no change was happening even with dietary omission. Two and a half years have passed in a state of extreme undernutrition due to the sickness. We have no idea how I'm still living like this. Tests, baffled doctors, more baffled doctors, ERs, other specialists, blood draws, scans, referrals, genetics waitlist, being *diagnosed with hypermobile EDS and UCTD, Retests, problems being found but still not Celiac. So thankful for Duke financial aid. The auto-released biopsy on this most recent EGD again confirmed that this wasn’t Celiac disease, so I am grateful to say I was able to stop force feeding myself 4 slices of bread a day, as it is always followed by fevers, face flushing and writhing. In January I finally had a follow up. Apparently I was correct that this is not Celiac disease, not a return of Alpha-gal or another allergy and it is actually something neurologically-related. A mystery systemic disease.  The two year-ago genetics referral at UNC hospital is now canceled because they are overfilled with Ehlers-Danlos patients and rejecting the people who were waitlisted two years ago.
    My tonsils & adenoids are gone for good, thankfully no tonsil stones/infections now, however, the extremely thick mucus that causes the throat soreness did not go away as hoped.
    In January I contacted neurology about the forgotten biopsy results and got diagnosed with small fiber neuropathy.  There aren't enough nerves in my legs.  Systemic autonomic dysfunction is suspected. But SFN seems more of a secondary disease, and they are not definitively sure what the root disease(s?) is. And this shouldn’t be causing bilateral foot drop. *In light of the overall progression, the diseases I was diagnosed with last year are now being reconsidered as rarer/different/more serious things than anyone thought. Not that they told me, I stalk the visit notes. Now there are tons of specialist tests coming up like cardiology, GI, rheumatology, possible ASD testing (that I personally requested because of the realization that I was weird/have some cognitive/social/learning quirks, its genetic significance, having a sibling with it, etc.) this year. 
    The January 15th stroke-like neurological blood vessel paralysis emergency thing was like no other ER visit I’ve had before. The 7ish other trips in my life were acute, life threatening, temporary things. This did lasting damage and I was discharged as no one at the local or Duke hospital was sure of the cause. That day has split my existence in half. We were advised after a 3 am phonecall to drive to Duke ER for hyperswollen left foot, I collapsed paralyzed in the passenger seat on the way and local ER paramedics had to remove me and evaluate the situation there. I could hear everything, but my whole body was like a corpse and I couldn't move or speak. Awkward when your mom is signing paperwork and the doctors are like "Who is this? No idea what her name is" They CT'ed my head, and immovable hours later, I heard them saying I was discharged without diganosis, they were scared to do a spinal tap, and to follow up with Duke. I still couldn't open my eyes or move most of my body and my mom had to shovel me into a wheelchair and checkout. They forgot to evaluate my gigantic foot. We went home, I slept for a few hours then, still being very numb/semi paralyzed and swollen, we made the daytrip to Duke ER, who did imaging of the foot and dischargeded me with permission to add more OTC painkillers to my life, lidocane patches for my giant limp foot, and to follow up with my specialists as they had no idea what was wrong with me. My left foot is still bluish and swelling, and both legs go randomly limp, icy cold and blotchy on and off now. My whole body lost feeling, I cannot feel thirst, and getting in over 16 oz a day is a painful and rare accomplishment. Eating has been reduced to a few small bites daily to try to keep myself alive somehow. Sleep is in random couple hour intervals, which makes it surprising when I hear what day of the week it is. I am so glad the total paraylisis wasn't permanent-I cannot imagine having paralyzed hands or eyes. Take the legs, take the feet, they can't create, just not the hands please, haha!
    The spine involvement is new, I had to unexpectedly see neurology again a couple weeks ago for it.  They forgot about weighing me prior, as a (non-paraylzed/short-distance ambulatory) wheelchair user and did not realize how bad this was getting. Instead of unexplainably maintaining and frequently gaining weight, I’m losing again-20lbs down from one year ago when I was already at the edge of underweight-all in the past few months. Not ideal when eating and drinking cause extreme illness and idiopathic anaphylaxis that worsens with epinephrine. So this trip thankfully led to getting me new genetics referrals to different clinics and a neuromuscular doctor. Guessing this is good because the autumn ENT doctor was concerned about ALS due to the throat strings and neurological abnormality. At the time I was happily unaware of what that disease was. So now is the time to “survive to the next appointment, hopefully” and spend the days/nights creating things, as always. Abundant audiobooks, and comforting and cheery Christmas music. Sometimes I feel a little like how the orchestra band kept playing on the night of the Titanic, but then I remember an encouraging ex-doctor patient in a power chair at Duke whose diagnostic path of Myasthenia Gravis took ten years. I’ve only been a full time lab rat for the past two and a half, ambiguous sick/disabled (without much early investigation) for over half my life now. In late 2019 when I began crashing again, I was crazed for a cure. Those prior two years post-PICU of trying to be normal and healthy and getting to eat all the fabulous foods was such a treat! I ponder how it must feel to possess a prognosis, or the power to plan. If I merely live to get an answer, I would feel rich.  And I will proudly proclaim that a major life goal of mine is eating, hahaha. I do so wish my mom had a family- It's just my faraway bro and I...and, unfortunately that one past-many-years-incarcerated uncle who we hope won't get out of prison this fall...y i k e s. She's had to deal with all my medical drama alone...  But life is still lovely, there are little things of beauty in all if you look close enough. I do think happiness is an inside job. ]
     
     
    Some small efforts put forth in order to retrain my art amnesia-brain! Done in December 2022 to a cozy comfort audiobook and Cladrite radio. I do adore pretend time traveling and brain roleplaying, such fun to be a magazine illustration fine artist in the 1930s-1950s when the fancy strikes. Painting these, in truth, felt as an internal battle because of the practical-or-nothing-at-all predicament that 2022 sent.  Painting seemed..improper so soon after, almost pointless-but thank goodness for the motivation of doing it for someone else. Maybe that’s the secret joy in doing any and every thing? Who is it done for, and the love behind it? Tis for me, that feels like truly living.  
    Mini scenes, 3x3”  cardboard canvases. Sneak peak of barnchair, woven with care. 
    First try on this, had the canvas squares sitting idly for years. My grandmother’s generous gifts of art supplies live on. 
    Pencil sketch covered in acrylic paint and gloss glazing medium. 
    I “should” probably watermark some of these, but oh well. And maybe blur my signature but eh, doesn't really matter. Going to blissfully believe in the morality of humankind instead, I haven’t the energy to worry.
     

    Low res-resized  version of scan, it appears.

     
    Painting times:
    Baby: 6.5 hrs 
    Girl: 13 hrs
    Deer: 6.5 hrs
    Reindeer (if I recollect correctly)?: 7.5 hrs
    Chipmunk: 7 hrs
    Birdy: 7 hrs



     
    For my mom’s Christmas gift. I credit her completely with forming my art obsession, I wonder if she knows that…I’m afraid I never thanked her prior, oh my. All those splendid art history books and children's drawing books, that dearest impressionism book of unrivaled beauty and dashing colors, the craft-centric homeschool curriculums that danced across my child kingdom- all at the kitchen table in that sacred morning sun. She covered its wallpapered wild ivy walls with my paint splattered scrolls and sketched scrawls. Something odd began happening recently, in light of meeting a few individuals for art transfer. They wondered when I started drawing.. I felt a fool because it never consciously occurred to me that people ever stopped drawing. All children I’ve seen are creators. Maybe artists don’t grow up? Hope they don’t have to, I’m quite afraid of such heights. 
     
    So soon, If all is well, I can freely photodocument and publish my professionless-and proper-product-less projects that paperwork presently prohibits!I am glad to further discover how the less one has, the more unconventional uses for other objects appear. ‘Till then: Drawings! 
    Gratitude echoes over my very being over the luxury of getting to do art again.
     
    Lapdesk Land doodles. Some of these were unrequested ones for BZPers, and other random victims of my art endeavours, so I feel odd/guilty about posting them.... My apologies if unacceptable… Please let me know if any would want them taken down and I shall gladly do so! 
    Graphite sights:
    Anatolian puppy, one of the first tiny attempts to remember how to draw. (September)

     
    12hrs, 8x10 as I actually began googling standard art sizes.  My brother’s Japan research trip. How was that half a decade ago? (September/October?)

     
    Car art of a family photo for my mom. Started in September when summoned to show up for a scary Social Security “prove you are sick, please” interrogation because of the new need of insurance and never having had income. I never noticed I was considered disabled until recent years. My mom never made me feel like I was, being homeschooled since forever helped this, I guess! Standard small photograph size, whatever that is.  

    Public domain peoples! 8x10”, 8hrs.


     
    A memorial of a Facebook church acquaintance’s pet, pit bull Boo Boo. 8x10”

     
    Anatolian, another attempt! 10hrs? 8x10”.
     

    We found this poster on our front door once getting back from the ERs on January 15th. Impressive determination considering our yard is gated and farm-fenced! 
    I collapsed on the couch treasuring this task. 

     
    The dog owner did find their furry friend again! And introduced us to a local children’s charity runner friend. It was initially started by her rare-disease daughter. So I tried to draw her, 13hrs, 8x10”.

     
    Then it occurred to me I knew of one other similar children’s cancer charity, so drew the girl who founded that one, for fun. 17.5hrs, 8x10”

    Shoutout to my mom’s art delivery services! 
    And a bit of a rough one as my accuracy and speed is absolutely unpredictable and pain-dependent. 8x10”, 16hrs. Quadriplegia violinist from IG, I need to muster the brain power to ask about mailing this one. 

    (Property of BZPers below) 
    8x10” , 8.5 hrs 

    6x8”, 5.5 hrs

    9x7” , 13.5 hrs

    8x6”, 13.5hrs.

    Trying to improve at people's portraits, proportions I do struggle with. My method is to do a light sketch focusing on the angles, then going back over that, erasing and mechanical pencil detailing down from the upper left side so I don’t smudge it. Then fixatif spraying and cutting to-size. I seriously need to thank the pastor who supplied this orphaned tilting lapdesk from their church gym, the hours of joy and purpose it has provided are inexpressible.  
    Moving back to one’s hometown is funny. The one family I was fortunate enough to call my (only) childhood friends is still around. 
    Drawn for her mom while she was gone on a missionary trip. 8x10”, 20hrs.

     
    My mom adores old-fashioned paper calendars (only the finest ones from Dollar General, haha), and I’m quite fond of their picturesque vignettes. I fell for this feathered friend and had to fashion an embroidery lookalike. Plumped it up a little. It’s a pleasure to stitch rainbow plumage and other colorful crafts in between the graphite-gray sketching. Keeps the immobile insomnia hours vibrant events. 38 hrs total, framed it (Yay for spray paint and barn-find frame) instead of making it a pillow. Initially for my mom’s Christmas gift, but upcoming mother’s day makes more sense for her new-old home’s wall art needs. An uncanny color match to my grandmother’s lamp.


     
    It fit in our scanner! Wrapped and sticky leather taped it onto heavy cardboard. 
     
    Craft collection! Truth be told, I’m torn on what to post, project-wise. I want to wait on posting the home decor stuff as it makes more sense to show it with the whole room, so we wait. 
    My mom loves heartleaf philodendron plants. Historically her houseplants ended up getting suspiciously knocked off the surfaces where they sat, and she gave up. With funds for foliage now as the only barrier, I decided a few pseudo plants would make the shelves merrier. For Valentine’s day, since they are conveniently heart-leaves 
    I didn't have the proper supplies or a way to get them, so the base was a wood-cutting ripped old shirt I’d remade from an old shirt. Used a similar method as last year: fusing two cotton layers together with spray adhesive, ironing and cutting out. 
    Sewed leaf creases down each one and smothered them in glazing medium for stiffness. Cut around the edges again for a smooth finish.  Scalp massager (???) and pipe cleaner base. Tied on with green yarn. Ginormous cardboard tubes, old shoe foam and laces, and upholstery swatches for “planters”. The superglue I used to attach the fabric to the cardboard started smoking when I pressed it together. No spontaneous combustion has occurred so far. 
     Definitely not one of my greatest creations, but passable from a distance. 

    *real ladybug lounging on leaf*


     
    And gratitude greetings from owl arts, little laminated prints.. Recycled partially from gift bags. Going to pretend that the printer ink wasn’t too red on some, and this was intentional. 

     
    Scrunchies for my mom. 
    Octo-O’s, balloons windblown, done into donut bundles because why not?


     
    And assembled the pants  for my mom I’d cut out in the basement last year and abandoned. Maybe these will be for a Christmas gift, stashed and waiting for now.
     
    Basic bakes and birthday bakebox gifts. Butter, beautiful butter! 

     
    In other news, I’ve just last week figured out how to organize the kitchen to be much more wheelchair accessible! It's worlds less exhausting with appliances on lower surfaces and a folding card table for a low countertop. Figuring out wheelchair life is new in itself. I started using part-time at the former home in January 2022 as the mobility/pain/weakness issues worsened. That house wasn’t very easy to drive it in, with the rooms being much smaller and closer. Once we were given no choice but to leave in May, so began the season of painful staggering. This new-old home is perfect for rolling with all its hallway loops and long rooms now! I love it here, endearingly old and unusual. 
     
    Handkerchief head scarf bandanas for my mom’s coworker, as she kindly sent one to me as the color wasn’t her preferred.

     
    I think that wraps up the majority of neglected knick-knacks and novelties and my endlessly talking about my mom being awesome, haha. Looks like I’ll be making a collection of current yellow-thing-projecting for next time. 
     
    My mom made my whole life with a birthday gift of this baby. One with feet, what a treat!

    Wishing everyone a happy week! 

    Also, I've patched this thing together in Google Docs again and haven't a grasp of if the images upload too largely as a result, apologies and will try to remedy if so!
    Or if my brain can form sensible entries anymore 🙈
     
  4. Mushy the Mushroom
    Lesson learned: 
    If you find some front yard mushrooms, adorn them in various styles and photograph them, people are going to stare...
     
    ...But if you do all that and it begins to rain, causing you to build a terribly improvised hut, they will think you’ve gone wholly mad.
     
    ...Which might not be absolutely inaccurate.

     

    Apparently crabapples can be used as miniature props.
     
    Also, if anyone can identify what type of mushrooms these are, please let me know.
    BEHOLD THE HUT OF SHAME.

     
     
  5. Mushy the Mushroom

    FaceFaceMask Tutorial and Other Weirdness

    By Mushy the Mushroom,


    nothing more mortifying that reading your own content
    Just a vague tutorial, recent random artstuffspam and things.
    So a lot of months ago I made a mini costume 3D face-face mask just to see if it was possible. 
    Wanted to try again on a larger one for someone else aka my mom the test subject, so here’s how to make one, if you’d like.
    Supplies:
    One cotton face mask that matches the skin tone of the human model. I used a one-layer mask so the paint wouldn’t stain the lining. Paint mask before sewing to lining for multiple layers.
    Acrylic or fabric paints and paintbrushes. 
    A photo of the lower face.
    Iron to heat-set your paint (If using acrylics).
    A phone, tablet or computer screen to display the photo of the face.
    Tracing paper or parchment paper.
    Tape.
    Measuring tape.
    A round surface to place under the mask as you paint. I used a round tailor’s ham, taped cotton balls into a nose shape, and covered it in a plastic bag. I pinned the mask onto it.


    Take a straight-on photo of the face you wish to replicate. Now, on the human model,  use the measuring tape to ascertain the width of their nose. 
    Next, measure the width and length of their mouth/smile. Finally, measure the width between the top of the mouth and the bottom of the nose.
    Open the photo of the face and zoom in/out until the dimensions match the real face measurements. Tape the tracing paper on the screen and outline the details with pencil. 
    Cut out the nose and mouth paper pieces and pin/tape to the mask. It may be advisable to try the mask on the human model for accurate feature positioning. Trace the outlines and add the details. 
    Then paint. I thinned my paint with some water to prevent cracking.  Add various spots and dots on the skin for a pore-like effect. Let dry between layers. Dry fully and iron to heat-set if you’ve used acrylics. 
    Behold your frightening creation.
    Paint time on 2nd attempt: 4hrs.
     
    9X12 acrylic that I barely finished for greeting cards.
    Drawing time:? Paint time: 40hrs.

    And some gifts. Started them too late so they were kind of rushed. 

    (The wallet was made from a 20+year old leather jacket and sewn on the Needle-Launching-Monster. It was weird making one without destroying the fingers while trying to badly hand sew the leather with an embroidery needle. XD  The envelope bag was made from an upholstery swatch, and the tiny red dress was for Pops. Drafted the deer plushies to resemble some 2d painted leather ornaments made in times past.)

     
    And just a few old things turned into new stuffs. 

    Yes, a mushroom hat. Because, why not?
    And the excessive amount of tailor's press tools made for couture sewing. I still don't get why they were named after meat products. Who looks at a ham or a sausage and is like "I can iron on that."?


    And hello from tiny rhino.
    (Carved and painted, before/after.)

     
    And hi from this lovely little slug who keeps breaking into our house.
     
     

    Also seems fun to sum up the past year, probably with poor writing and excess honest information. Because, why not abuse the free blog privileges?
     
    2020 started with adopting a mutt puppy, a violent stray, who terrorized us in our home for 2 months. He currently resides in an enclosure we built outdoors, so things are peaceful and our little dogs are safe again.
    My brother graduated from college in February and moved relatively far away for work. The job became online-based one month later. Yay for Facetime. XD
    My dad lost his job during the shutdowns. He now works locally and lives at home (instead of airports/traveling/hotel living six days per week). He seems a lot happier now.
    My mom and I had to leave our church. ( Hint: It’s in a kind of bad area. Once a homeless dude was secretly living in the church gym and ordering pizzas, and nobody noticed for a surprisingly long time. XD)
    My joints are now musical and make me limp around occasionally. My face has become reddish and disproportionately swollen. My skin has become uncharacteristically yellowish. Some days it hurts too much to move/get off the couch. And other stuff. And now I take a multivitamin made for old people because it doesn’t contain iron.
    Conclusion: Seeing all the stuff about 2020 seniors made me see I was a senior citizen in 2020.
    Also learned I have a blood type that’s supposedly “impossible” based on my parents’ blood groups. So I was either accidentally switched at birth or some kind of gene mutation occurred. 
    And recently had an entertaining toxic reaction to local dental anesthetic containing epinephrine. My legs started shaking and a minute later I started violently convulsing, gasping, my throat constricted, I collapsed and my face turned scarlet, all when they had the drill in my mouth. The hygienist initially thought I died and ran outside to get my mom. The chip filling immediately fell out and they had to redo it. I was in a lethargy state for 2 days after the shot...Then the filling came out one week later and they replaced it again. It was fine without the epinephrine, which is weird because it never caused bad reactions before this. I feel horrible for frightening them so…The best part: The filling just fell out again. *Facepalm* I’m keeping it this way for now, as it seems somewhat dangerous and highly embarrassing to have it repaired again. PIRATE STYLE. Very thankful for masks!
    We still aren’t fully sure what’s causing it all. We have suspicions, but apparently referrals take a long time. But when I have the energy, I’m free to do all the artstuffs and things. I am so thankful for my mom and it’s awesome to get to spend time with her, but I have guilt about being burdensome. :/ But one day, “The knowing will come”.  Oooor hopefully, maybe, whatever it is will just go away on its own. It’s all good~ 
     
    And miscellaneous good stuffs have happened too.
    I rediscovered LEGO and BZPower. So much nostalgia, I love that this old place still exists. 
    Covid shutdowns didn’t affect my social life at all. I was pretty much a hermit before. XD 
    I haven’t redeveloped any food allergies. The anaphylaxis was either idiopathic/a bi-product of other health problems. *happydance*
    Shutdowns are a new excuse for a creative renaissance. ARTSTUFFS. Online tutorial series, yay!
    2020 was personally a tiny bit bad but mostly rad.
    Anyway, apologies to anyone who read through this rather prolix entry.
     May your 2021 be a great one! 

     
  6. Mushy the Mushroom
    (I would like to preface this by apologizing if posting off-brand brick creations isn’t allowed. I am sorry if not. This is probably so wrong, but I’m afraid it would be bothersome to ask.)
    I rediscovered the old dungeon castle MB bricks while sorting through the childhood Lego tote. The MB’s had not been used in years, and so many miscellaneous things had migrated into that box. K'nex, random tools, rubbish, doodles of Toad, office supplies, and those utility building pieces from monopoly city that no one missed. This was the first time this box had ever been cleaned out/sorted. Dirt. ._.
    (The Mindstorms dog selfie booth inspired a re-attempt.)
     (These photos are terribly dated now that it’s December.)
     It’s certainly not the pastel Lego flower shop house I wanted to design for Poppy, but we had enough bricks and added fabric flowers.


     
    Test assembled it for size, it fell apart slightly, then reassembled it with Gorilla glue after the pictures. Also added a central bar in the windows for safety. The MB bricks are abnormally difficult to snap together. Knuckle skin was lost while trying to cram the thing together. Tools were deployed. People don’t like it when you’re hammering indoors at 3 am. 
    Oopssorry.
    Also, after I took the photos, someone informed me that those lovely red leaves were poison sumac. 
    Oops.
    So far, it hasn’t even crumbled upon Pops while she sleeps. 
    Additional useless photo of Pops when she was strongly disliking her new-old-pajama-dress and her new haircut:

    Hope you (and your pets) had a nice Thanksgiving if you celebrated!
  8. Mushy the Mushroom
    It appears as though it’s maybe time to resume aimlessly cluttering the region with creations...
    4x5.75” Beta fish, acrylic on watercolor paper, done for greeting cards. 
    Brain: A small painting will be faster....Reality: Spends 22 hours gleefully obsessing over the details. 

    And a few somewhat recent 9x12 pencil drawings that I remembered to scan but forgot to watermark...oh well...

    (French seams)  Went to Walmart to buy a shirt...then realized the 3yrd. indigo fabric roll was cheaper and could make a spiral ruffle skirt also.  And some old things—> New things. Print pajama pants = new shirt and mesh lace scraps + Rolled hem presser foot = scarf.

    A simple fleece lined hat from tee shirt, made to complete an outfit. My dad is now happily living as a human bottle of Sriracha...
    .
    Noticed that the giant bag of my family’s semi-destroyed jeans was nearly overflowing. ‘Twas a nice excuse for a little challenge + drafting a new pattern. Used the inner side of the denim to avoid stains, cut strips around the holes and alternated the light and dark denim panels. Interfaced and stuff. First try at a method of construction that replaces zippers with button pockets. I am baffled as to why I had "coat of arms of New Jersey" buttons, but yay, they were the right size.

    (Why does the dress form look so weird? Because it’s made of a chopped up wooden hanger, a tennis ball, drop cloths, wood glue, stuffing, a copper pipe, and a punching bag stand. Very professional. XD )
    Finally drafted some patterns for these dolls. Hopefully will be able to get back to actual worksewing soon...

    (The mischievous Muscovies had a glorious time trying to photobomb these..)
    Things for the Child. (Is it wrong to have a Child without watching the show?) Snap-on hair bows and test subject dresses, made from old dyed sheets/pillowcases. The sleeve cap shape was shamefully off on these, redrafted the pattern with paper towels later. 


    Window Child backpack, made from a drop cloth, leather, foam, clear fabric, and metallic faux leather. Partially sewn with the Needle-Launching-Monster. Messed up the window a little with the wrinkles. Only realized it looked like a portable clothes dryer afterwards...It’s ridiculously wide, but had to be to accommodate his ears. XD

    I can not contain my joy over the fact that alien dolls aren’t that peculiar anymore. I used to drag my beloved Figrin D’an, Admiral Ackbar and Greedo dolls around everywhere.
    The tragically disproportionate outcome of trying to make a Child cake topper out of peanut butter + powdered sugar at 3 am:
    :
    Just beaded masks.

    And daisy flower crown from a while ago. Green base band is from elastic strips covered in velvet, “woven” and sewn together. Daisies made by shaping wet leather and centers made from stamping and painting. 

    Do you ever just go outside for a fast photo then somehow end up frolicking into the welcoming woods for the next hour?

    (Dress made a few years ago, not remotely recent.) (Not pictured:  Very awkwardly trying to hide from passing neighbors, trying to hide the camera remote, laser level tripod, many NSAIDs, dark underlying fear of tick bites. )
    “There’s nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend.” -Bob Ross
    ...Or maybe even a tree frog.?
     
    May spring bring you as much happiness as this daffodil brought Pops~

     
  9. Mushy the Mushroom

    SHOEMAKING ADVENTURES

    By Mushy the Mushroom,


    cinnamon toast?
    First try at leather shoes + shoemaking with my lasts. Started them about five months ago but didn’t have the time/supplies to complete them until last week. Ballet flats don’t normally use welted sole construction, but I wanted to try the technique. Used the narrow German welt method.

    Made from a 20ish year old suede jacket (outer and lining), ¼” thick veg tan leather (insoles, outsoles, welt), faux leather (stiffener), ¼” wide leather reinforcement tape, ⅛ in thick cork (filler), bamboo shanks, Barbours 6 unwaxed cord (welting), coad/shoemaker’s wax/pitch, contact cement, neoprene glue, beeswax, shellac, and tiny wire nails.

     
     
    First, I completely covered the lasts in masking tape, drew the design on, cut and pulled the tape portions off and stuck them to paper. Then added seam allowances and tested a paper version. Then cut the uppers, sewed together and applied reinforcement tape at the seams. Then cut the veg tan insoles, marked and skived, and poked the awl through the feather/holdfast, marking the holes.(Attached with rubber bands- didn’t want to nail into the last until steel protector plates were added.)Next, dry lasted/stretched the leather with pincers, contact glued the lining layer around the feather/holdfast, glued in faux leather toe and heel stabilizers, smoothed out with the rasp, and lasted, glued and rasped the outer layer in place.Then made coad/shoemaker’s wax/pitch by melting pine rosin with beeswax, dropping the hot mixture into a water bucket and kneading it into little blobs (Recipe in sources). Made skived welts out of strips of veg tan. Waxed the thread with the coad/pitch/waxand started saddle stitching. Was initially painful and time consuming because of neglecting to wet the welt, and lack of a proper, sharpened awl needle.  Ordered an 1840s curved awl needle which worked in a comparatively magical manner.
    (Excessive progress photos feat. my parched, lotion-hating fingers. XD )

    I couldn’t find any suitable shoemaker’s bristles or needles online, but read that some used guitar strings instead. So I thought I’d try to use these floss threaders, which surprisingly worked. Then skived the wet welt a bit to smooth the fuzzies out. Added the cut-down bamboo shanks +leather covers and contact glued in. Then took the ⅛” thick cork sheets and contact glued and rasped two layers on. Then contact glued and hammered the rough-cut veg tan sole on. Trimmed excess off with the skive knife, Dremel sanded, and smoothed with a glass shard (Sorry mayo jar, you were a lovely sacrifice).

    Marked and cut the angled slits for stitching and saddle stitched through. Then closed the slits with neoprene glue (AKA Shoe Goo. Same stuff, just cheaper.) and hammered.

    Neoprene glued the heel layers on, cutting the excess off of each individual layer and rasping down. Then wet sanded the sole edges with the Dremel. (That protective masking tape was a terrible mistake. Had to remove the sticky residue with a freezer, a brush, a pencil eraser and suede cleaner. #fail ._.) Then made shellac for the soles from dewaxed orange shellac flakes and denatured alcohol. Sticks to skin very well. Should’ve worn gloves. (Recipe in sources) Applied the shellac to the soles, two coats. Then rubbed melted beeswax to the sole edges. For lack of a better system, I used the Sterno inferno to heat the heel edge iron and melted the wax to seal. Lastly, added little nails in the heel for extra security (Probably used too many, got excited.) 

    Pretty rough, I have no idea what I’m doing, but I guess that failing = learning. Should hopefully be easier next time. I’m ecstatic about all the online tutorials for this stuff! *Tries to contain the INTENSE EXCITEMENT*
    Also so thankful my dad’s around more, so I can hassle him about tools and garagestuff. XD He gave me this old leather welding apron to prevent unintentional stab wounds, and I’m fan-girling over it. He also refinished and painted the rusty Cobbler’s anvil from my grandmother’s barn, and made the "heel edge iron". I couldn't find the latter for sale in the US, showed him a photo, and he was able to make it from an old mallet head and the end of a walking stick. Best. Gift. Ever.  ;_;

    Here are source links in case anyone else desires to pursue a fading trade with wild abandonment.
    ...And also so I can remember this stuff next time.
     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITiyKmYnL-0&feature=youtu.be
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LsE4nsEOJk&feature=youtu.be
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2lCXlGp_GA&feature=youtu.be
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7L6nPNNPBc
    https://shoesandcraft.com/2011/01/13/german-welt-tutorial-2/
    https://shoesandcraft.com/2011/01/21/a-little-more-about-german-welt/
    http://carreducker.blogspot.com/2012/05/threads.html?m=1
    https://medium.com/@mbliskavka/shoemaking-school-pt-3-making-thread-and-welting-25e157bc7f5a
    https://www.ianatkinson.net/leather/leatherguide.htm
    http://aands.org/raisedheels/Techniques/coad.php
    https://www.shellac.net/shellac-mixing-application.html
    https://shoesandcraft.com/2012/12/05/heel-edge-finishing/
     
  10. Mushy the Mushroom
    Or maybe blocks of wood turned into my feet. 

    After three years of making inferior-quality fabric shoes (with some slippers, some flat shoes, and ballet slippers being the only not-absolutely-weird-looking exceptions)  the realization that a shoe last is a necessary thing has soaked in...Thanks to the discovery of some new, enthralling shoemaking tutorials on Youtube!
    Apparently one needs a last before they can make leather shoes. I couldn’t find a wooden shoe last in my size anywhere online, so I tried a thing..a crazy thing...a “This is so not going to work, but I can always burn the evidence once it disastrously fails!” thing.
    So I glued scraps of free-roaming garage wood together and started chopping.
    Then Dremel sawing, measuring, obsessively comparing the block to my foot, Dremel sanding, measuring again, and then trying to replicate the same shape on the other last.
    Treated them with paste wax after taking the photos, so they’re a bit shiner now. The weird dark spots are where I accidentally roasted the wood with the Dremel.
     

     
    I’ll probably have to add some type of ferrule in the top of each last. Decided not to make steel sole plates for now, because my parents found an antique, cast-iron sole last in an old barn at my grandmother's house. It’s made for nailing the leather down during lasting, I think..(?)...That’s what I'll try to use it for, anyway. Here’s a stock photo of it, because it is currently bathing in vinegar to remove the rust. 

    Also recently got my Needle-Launching-Monster (China Leather Shoe Patcher, hand-crank sewing machine) to work properly. It’s been my non-functioning roommate since February. It’s only working now thanks to resources found in a Facebook group...And some electrical tape, until I can get one part sodered/welded. Just made a little leather pup charm on it for now, as I’m out of leather and the local market is still closed..(not a good excuse, just haven’t gotten around to it).
     
    So, yeah.. I suppose it’s time to get some cork, shanks, a skive knife, tiny nails and stuff to begin this adventure… Also, there are different shapes of shoe lasts for various shoe styles, but I just made a random, basic replica of my feet (+one cm in length, the last is supposed to be slightly longer than the foot).. .ihavenoideawhatimdoing…..I’m really just thankful to have unlimited access to an overwhelming amount of tools…especially MAGICAL POWER TOOLS. Those are fun. My dad’s kind of a hoarder collector. What’s also fun is unintentionally frightening mail delivery people when using the power tools on the wooden feet outside. That FedEx dude was rather shaken.
     
    Wow, this was uncharacteristically long, sorry.
    Also sorry if this entry has too many pictures, I wasn't sure if there was a limit.
     
    Anyone else on here into shoemaking or leatherworking? 
  11. Mushy the Mushroom

    Baby Ducks with Swords Flying Airplanes to Dollar General?

    By Mushy the Mushroom,


    nothing more mortifying that reading your own content
    [Translation: Lacked a quality title.]
    A little art. 9x12's, Ticonderogas, and mechanical on watercolor paper. Not much blog material this time (mid painting, big project and also just staring at the ceiling). 

    Ninja-inspired outfit made from scraps of unwanted tee shirts (slapdash tired sewing). French seams, mitered corners, six-panel skirt and first try at drafting a twist top. Swordthing from grandmother #2. Apparently she would go to fields and use it to cut hay for her horses. (It’s a hypermobility brace (turns out flexibility can become crippling) and I didn’t make it- just felt ninja enough to leave on. )

    Hat drafted for my dad, an avid headwear enthusiast. Maybe it was meant to be, as our surname shuffled can spell the name of a certain hat?
      Reused a bill/front stiffener from baseball cap. Made from the surviving areas of his new pants that were ruined by bleach on the first day of being worn, lined with the pocket material.

    (Unfortunately no available siblings to bribe (with baked goods) to be in photoshoots, so making a goof of myself for the sake of pictures yet again. )
    My family has acquired a lot of antique stuff we’re not sure what to do with, So yay for props!  Toy airplanes from grandfather #3 (adopted parent = many bonus grandparents). Drafted the aviator hat for my dad, made from a leather jacket. For go kart riding. It’s a glorious “Is this madman trying to get us killed because this is a rad way to go(?)” experience to go ~35-40 mph in it without seatbelts. (Overalls +dress made years ago so kindofcheating.) 

    Got her to be in one photo though!  Pops+props. Outfit also made from tee shirts a while ago.

    Iphone attached to short tripod, attached to laser level tripod, precariously chained on top of a swing set and ladder. Delicious(?) drink from the 1996 Olympics + Sign-thermometer-thing from grandmother #2’s barn. Cheating again, outfit was made years ago. 

    ^Became a weird foreshadow of a “CT enterography.”
     
    *Rewind*
    It’s been a weird nine months of trying to get a doctor to help, dozens of blood draws, bouncing between referrals I had to fight for, and kind of wanting to run from my own body as it all falls apart. 
    I thought I knew pain. I was wrong.
    The only way I can describe it: The handle of a shovel, stabbing into the stomach all the way through to the back. Makes it angry if one drinks, but can’t compare to its fury if one tries to eat.  Stays for hours, stabbing one awake during sleep.
    It’s an awkward predicament  of “Any sane person would go to the ER..But I can’t. They will say they don’t know or brush me off.” 
    Begged specialist #3 to order a CT. Because, after nine months of not being able to eat enough to support human life (yet somehow surviving), living on pickle juice to prevent death by electrolyte imbalance, crawling up stairs, and losing the ability to lift my arms high enough to brush my own hair, I don’t have much left to lose.
    CTs are much louder than I expected. Iodine IVs are rather peculiar. Results:

    Transiently telescoping intestines/intussusception Guess that’s why no painkiller will work.
    “Extremely rare”...until it happens to you.
    Doctor: I’m ordering another scan, CT enterography. 
    For this, they asked me to chug 48 oz of unexpectedly palatable sprite-like contrast in 45 minutes, and then injected the iodine. The warmth  of it flowing through the veins. The imaging donut device above. The robot voice saying “Breathe! Hold your breath! Breathe!”...
    They weren’t telescoping in this image. Apparently it keeps doing and undoing it, whenever it fancies. Stoked about another clue, so close to the knowing!  Cannot say I’m enthusiastic about an upcoming EGD, a camera tube shoved down the throat, to chop off biopsy bits, but hey, should be an enlightening experience? Chose the full anesthesia knockout option because I’m afraid I’d laugh at the horror of the situation and choke on the scope.
    Okay done describing that now, kind of gory. Sorry.
    Random curiosity: Were the Dots bracelets actually inspired by hospital wristbands? They appear eerily similar to me but this is the tainted viewpoint of somebody who lived in hospitals for three months. 

     
     Farewell from these fake flowers.

    (Also happy ice cream season and merry exactly-six-months-until-Christmas!)
  12. Mushy the Mushroom
    ‘Ello! Can’t sleep, might as well pile it up in a big blog heap. 
    9x12, Ticonderoga, mechanical pencil, watercolor paper.
    Unknown public-domain-reference subjects, except one with my grandma’s floofy dog + mysterious dog, presumably from another relative...? 

     


    I did a bad thing. 
    Sneaked down the street and stole a sign at 11 at night. 
    Forgot the wire cutters, took a second trip with double the fright. 
    Drew the cat, zip tied the sign back.
    Got up the nerve to be that weirdo who texted and said I could drop off the art at their driveway.
    They also found him later that day and took the posters off display. 
    Yay!
    …I just wonder if they noticed that the zip ties changed colors. 

     
    Where I mirthfully threw 16 hrs of my life:
    Baby Bloom!

     
    (Bistro chair +rubber wire around arms + megaflower + footstool)
    Fulfilled my dream of honoring this background character from Toy Story 3. I hadn’t the wits to make her from old ballet tights and yellow balloons then, it was time for another spin. Also based on the 10-petaled “false sunflower”, the Smooth Oxeye. 

    Made from cotton, a wig-size wad of vintage ribbon from my grandma’s abnormally well-stocked basement, sweatshirt knit, press-on snaps, steam-a-seam, handsewn hook-and-eyes. Quilted-style leafwings. 


     
     
    Stump scene dump! Do you love a good stump?
    I've been keen on them since way back when.. Was fantastically disappointed when barred from bringing dear Holly Stump as seating during that one firework night. Such chairs they are! Most pleased to see society embrace them and welcome them into their homes at last. 
    When there’s no sister to be subject to shoots, one thing leads to another and pumpkins are places where there should be faces? 
    (Shhhhh, pretend winter. Twas 75 degrees)

     
    Monarch madness, Poor pup!
    Sharpie, porcelain marker, 3D butterflies made from foamy sheets and wire.
    And bonus goat in a coat on the other side.
    Sharpie, + leftover knitted yarns from pom pom trim. 

     
    Achild from acorn squash. 
    Stopmotion
    Effort level: You’re becoming food in a few days. Want to become a nontoxic friend until then? Maybe with a wee Viking vibe. 
    3M double-sided tape, pickle jar base, foam sheets, shipping foam tube arms, dress from harvested shipping paper, leftover fur from that same, ever-lasting, leather jackpot jacket that generated shoes, a wallet and quiver. 
    Unsightly stopmotion hand, none of this ever is properly planned.
    Props: Pompoms from leftover yarns from the scarf things and sock cuffs, 
    Campfire circa ages ago.. Felt fire and logs from a painted sheet. Rock ring from tee shirts. Couldn’t find the little felt marshmallow man on a stick, subbed with tiny poker made by the ancient blacksmith villager man. He gave custom, name-stamped ones to the random little peoples who watched the smiths. Such a legend. 
     

    Brace sizing gap alterations. Hand punched and hand sewn loops. Terribly grateful something stops the knees from the ~20-per-hour snaps!  ISO: Real exoskeleton. Maybe the Stormtrooper kind. 

    Horsies! 
    But not actual ones. My spindly friend.

     
    When your dad volunteers as the tribute pony....We brought home my grandmother’s old riding cart for restoration, but this is the closest we've gotten to achieving that. She would be livid…haha. I cannot believe I get to go for pseudowalks down the street again! He needs a horse head mask ever so much, many ridiculous ideas brewing. But neighbors might call 911 if they saw that. Have to sometimes appear normal, I suppose.?
     
    Fairy Gourdfather forwards fall felicitations to you all! 
    Is that word used decently? Love a posh new word but scarcely know how to wield them. 

    PS: Does video link embedding not work now for anyone else? It used to automatically do it for me, but now it gives an error code.
     
  13. Mushy the Mushroom

    Koi, Cake and Holiday Makes

    By Mushy the Mushroom,


    Life is balloons
    Greetings!
     
    My brother visited on his exact birthday, a merry, now rare, treat.
    Skyline Lemon Cheesecake, design haphazardly generated using what I could find about two hours before baking it. Based on his city. Engulfed in lemon butter-mint dough and brush painted with gel food coloring and charcoal powder. Used an X-acto to cut out the window lights and filled them with yellow. Two hours decorating time, but I feel like the colorful clouds resemble a toxic explosion a little more than a sunset. And the cream cheese frosting blob border...oh well.
    I wonder how he likes living in the clouds? Hard to believe he’s thirty-three floors up and hundreds of miles away. It’s easy to pretend people are still around, when one can mercilessly GIF text-spam them so they feel loved.

     
    Also created a butterfly Koi shirt, because there was his one Japan trip and I’m grasping for themes. It’s a struggle to concoct gift ideas, as his interests are so focused. Dear INTP people, what things do you fancy (besides Chess, coffee, computers and cats)? Is using MBTI as a gift-guide a flawed plan? Especially if one hasn't adequately studied it...and mostly likes the type character pictures?
     
    In light of barely completing the cheertime gifts last (…and each past) year, I decided to start in August and attempt to abandon all the other projects until they were finished. Timed the hours, a first for the gifties. I should be making cards instead of typing this right now. Might make some small neighb-ornaments and maybe dog-gifts if possible. I should be a good mush’ and wait until the end of the season, but my family doesn’t inhabit these regions…Bro, if you’re a silent sleuth in these lands, look away! 
     
    Hand painted AquaKoi shirt for my boy. I’d never made him any jersey knit/tee shirts before...Akin to neglect.
    4.5 hrs to paint + 3.5 hrs to cut/sew = 8 hrs.
    Another one, a Pagoda for Christmas.
    9.5 hrs to paint + 3.5 hrs to sew =13 hrs.
    Done with diluted acrylics, french seams and new pattern draft. Drew the designs on parchment paper first, then outlined and pressure  indented on the fabric using red thing. Painted on front panels prior to assembly, heat set with iron, then prewashed to prevent paint bleeds. French seams throughout and done with a lightning-bolt stitch to accommodate the stretch.
    Apparently forgot to crop that one collage photo. Oops.

     

    Yep, wrinkles. XD
     
    Belt-attachable leather phone case for my dad. Contact-glue parts and wet-lasted/hammered the front while clamping it onto a phone-sized block of wood. Sewed what I could with the Needle-Launching-Monster, cracked some needles, then awl punched the dampened veg tan seams and saddle stitched with dental floss-threaders. Velcro pads.
    8 hrs on this one.
    *Unsuccessful attempts to hide my callus art-hands from societal scrutiny while including for size reference*

     
    “What shall I make for Granny? What can be a new gift at 93(I think?)?
    To ask, or go with masks..?
    5 hours to cut/sew both. 
    Pencil plus diluted acrylics on the bunny, so extra 30 minutes for that.

     
    A messenger boho bag for my mom. Her linen ones made before are getting a tad threadbare and she’s too nice to say it. 
    First time using proper bag interfacing, last one was underlined with a trusty “sham-wow” towel.
    Used outer fabric from my dad’s old khakis, leather scrap lower reinforcements, and six-strand straps braided from suede cord. Designs done prior to assembly with washable marker, diluted acrylic, then heat set +prewashed.
    7 hrs to paint, 16.5 total with assembly. 

     
    And lastly, leetle lighthouses! 
    My lighthouse-loving grandma once mentioned unsuccessfully searching for some mini ornaments of them.
    A few years lagging, *lightbulb*, a set could perhaps be done in felt?
    Seed beads, blanket stitch and sequins. 
    21.5 hrs total. 

     

    Newly learned that a plastic shower curtain placed over a white cotton sheet makes for a less linty large backdrop?
    Guess that chips out 64.5 assembly hours. Slow, but I get there...?
     
    Off to sprinkle some oldish stuff on top.
    My mom informed me that someone on Nextdoor needed Halloween fairy wings and couldn’t find any at the store. And it's somehow thrilling to heedlessly drop everything, when you really shouldn't , and try to create for people if the chance arises? This has gotten me into a lot of trouble, yet, again, off we go!? Someone please stop me Yay! Tried to make a quick pair from jewelry wire braided around rope string, spray adhesive, a cellophane roll, clear plastic fabric, ribbon, elastic lace straps and jewels.
    Too bad there’s no “It’s three in the morning and we’re out of garage glue” hotline. The pink tint is from the drywall spray adhesive, it was the only can in the store. 
    The fairy who initially needed the wings had already found some, so they ended up going to a nice Nextdoor grandma instead. She had a teddy bear buckled up and riding in the back of her car. Like a boss. 

    Being a temporary fairy was far funner than I expected. Hard not to frolic.
     
    Junkbot 
    A tad ago a kind member of the BZPower discord (TuragaNuva) related the origins of the server’s :trashbot: emoji (https://en.brickimedia.org/wiki/Junkbot#:~:text=Junkbot%20is%20a%20LEGO%20robot,descend%20to%20a%20different%20area ) 
    Unbridled adoration for the creature spawned a trash-quality photo collage of making him. + [unofficial] baby sister Bowbot. 
     

     
    I wish he were an official emoticon here. 
     
    Dalu, oldish, but might as well invite her too, for organization. Also forgot to pose her with size-ref-friends. Tutorial

    She turned out taller than the reference Dalu set, because I forgot and sewed the head without torso overhang.
    Guess I’m retrying LEGO projects done poorly in prior years?
    -Me, Gluey, Sharpie-stained stiff felt Jala topic *Places a rose on unmarked grave and retakes photos*
    spamdom stuff
    When you’re gifted an ornament but no quickthankscard ideas erupt:

    When you have a delightful dream that your dear old bear plush, Mum, is “More than just a bear ( and is exceedingly special)” and that prospect stays in mind the entire afternoon.

    When the ‘Scov’es get a grain-cut and ferociously bite the feet whilst one is swinging. (I’ve unintentionally stubbed the poor boys, yet they tarry on with those tiny fictitious teeth.)
    My mom esteems the birds unsightly.
    I think their cherry-red-caruncle masks look mighty. 
    What are your opinions on the Muscovy complexion? 

    [tensely-waiting-an-hour-for-Dr.-to-join-Zoom-visit moth, hoped she’d munch the wait away]]
     

     
    May your winterdays be far from gray, happy holidays!
     
  14. Mushy the Mushroom
    (So, it seems as though blogging is allowed for all users now….If the rumors are true….My apologies for trying this if it is actually not permitted...)
     
    This was the result of a random idea and illness-induced sleep deprivation. Very messy due to limited bricks. I haven’t watched “My Neighbor Totoro” in years, but this scene really seemed fun to build. I must admit, I am very disappointed in myself for forgetting to make the black umbrella to hang on the sign....frantically ran outside to take photos...While laying In the middle of our street….at dusk. Thanks to the help of my mom, none of our neighbors ran me over. But a flip-flop was harmed in the making of these photographs.
    Topic: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/29628-my-lego-totoro-bus-stop-scene/
     

     
     
     
     
  15. Mushy the Mushroom

    Maybe a human-sized bird nest...

    By Mushy the Mushroom,


    behold the bush babies
    Hatched another wildly random idea...
    A human-sized Robin's egg bird nest bed/lounge chair.
    It's made of foam crib mattresses, sheets, poly-fill, offensively-strong glue, paint and elastic.
    Because I have always wanted one of these....since this idea popped into my head two months ago.
    ..Can I use the excuse that Porg demanded it?


     You can make one too, if you want. I've made photo instructions on Flickr. For some reason it shows the last steps in the album first, but they're numbered. (I hope it's okay to link to this, I'm still scared of breaking the linked content rules. I"m sorry if not.. I was going to directly link to the photos, but there were like 21 steps and I was lazy.
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/189713610@N04/albums/72157715698039033
    ...I suppose I see a blog as a magical place to post random art content, instead of using it to actually write anything useful or intelligent....words simply have never been my thing. SO YAY PICTURES.

  16. Mushy the Mushroom
    OoOoh, sweet September salutations! Fantastic Fall to all! 
    Where to start? Is it being to real to reveal that I’m blogging from the floor? It basically became the disabled diaries here somewhere.apologies to all if I’m too real/honest and for my punctually pitiful proofreading. 

    Oh well, of current creativity I come to tell! 
    “You are literally Buddy the Elf” 
    ~my mom’s reaction to what I do while she’s at work.
     
    Watermelon! From when my mom had to pay for tree removal due to their closeness to the home. I asked for the slice of tree, she kindly hauled  it to the basement for me. Leftover house paints and mixes, leather jacket seeds. Now all-season shelf porch decor. Melons are Luna & Shasta attractant, apparently. 

    Do you truly love your brother unless you visually yell at him (translation: excessively photo spam) him at all hours about your shenanigans?
     
     
    My slightly sloppy hanging of my Tangled +Baby Yoda 2021 dress, done for the upstairs hall wall. Clothes gently embroidery thread tied to base. From the leftover plastic from the display-dustoff covering my wings recently. White base is an old fleece throw, coversewn in an extra sheet, hung with mini-nails.
     *the only context in which I shall get my nails done* 

     
     While bad blood pressure bumbling about I made some fall decor starting September 1st! *Vince guraldi trio jazz echoing about* inspired by me actually being forced to leave the home (doctor visits, hotel stay overnight, thus frolicking in Target and hugging every weighted plushy I could see with glee) and seeing fall stuff. Fall frolic frenzy for my mom who never had any decorations before! So many things she’s never had, like adequate house things, being unable to access the family bank account prior due to oppression. Onto a new era, where she is the queen! Still somewhat in the zone of making stuff for the home as this one was Full of Nothing. Especially exciting because my mom adores fall and Thanksgiving the most. She mourned the overlooked holiday, last year was tough, and twas time for a change! Have to chase those sunny spots of life, the sweetness through the spice! 

    I have come to realize I’ve made our home look like a children’s library! Or an elementary school?. Do they look like this? UNC children’s hospital-school did decorate beautifully and I loved it. School there was great, 2 hours of Real work. And more often the more exciting options of: “a storyteller is here”, or  “a bird man has brought you all owl pellets and has an owl with him” or “an elusive, actually employed marine biologist has brought live sea creatures to pet” or “a traveler has brought a giant circle of African drums ready to be played” or “art teacher invites all to draw a cartoon turkey” or “headband making event on floor 6!” “want to go check out the library on the 7th floor?” These amazing souls made my hospital-hostage situation unbelievably happy 🧡For the record, they let me keep my owl pellet bones  (Sorry, nurse Danielle, if you’re out there..for you having to touch them..) and they are in our Lindt truffle Christmas ornament to this day. Leetle mouse skeletons. In a plastic bag though, I’m not a barbarian. 
     
    Little frying pans for the alien children (mom bought measuring cups, they look too much like cast iron not to borrow for photos!) Aunt J’s hand me down blanket, little beanie baby ferret, pillow swaddled in aunt X’s orange scarf gift. 
    I save all the greeting cards for recycling, this wreath was on one and laminated + little leaves. Masks saved and laminated from last year’s Amazon toy catalog. Must keep my Children clothes in trash, of course.  

    Pumpkins posted prior by the wood stove.  
    Extra carpet tiles from N&W/renovating saved for a fall rug color pop.


     
    I was last monthish years old when I realized the point of pillow covers we so they could be seasonally switched out. I had NO IDEA! 
    Pillow covers made from pumpkin colored jersey sheet & matching Macra lace swatches. Now my mom can match the pillows when wearing the recent macaroni-necklace-quality dress as all normal humans aspire to. Buttons from grandmother’s old shirt. 
    Pillowcase and Aunt X’s gift scarf strewn over furniture shoulders for color!


     
    Laminated leaves! Library vibes! Did not have a plan as usual and happy happened. Mid falling asleep I had an epiphany (to me): Cut up the vanilla (translation: Manila) envelopes into print paper dimensions and print monochrome maple leaf outlines on them! MS paint to the rescue. Worked happily, I added leaf veins on the backs with a sharpie. Then I found wrinkly orange tissue and got to chopping some from that, each with one simple center thread noodle. Cut, cooked & cut. 


     
    The plumbing supply barnfind pumpkin from last year, & lil handmade leather returns. 
    Wreath gold chain add-in because ideas were not flowing. 
     


    Smol doll made by a wee-me as a stocking stuffer for my mom. Redressed in clothes made for my Lammily doll long ago. The company that stole my photos of my kid-created doll fashions I posted from my mom’s account (I often disclosed this because people kept trying to buy my creations), in a fan-made handmade Lammily FB group. And used the photos in ads on their foreign distributors’ doll buying sites. I accidentally discovered this myself by going on their worldwide distributor’s site to see if new releases were up in other countries first. I was shocked to find my doll photos & fashions all across them, along with a few other members’ and Etsy sellers. I, confused and crying, publicly exposed this on the group. Then the Lammily designer himself, his family members, and his PR/salesperson all joined the group suddenly and began posting. Fans were furious. I, an oblivious kid creator, busted the crowdfunded Lammily company by chance. For stealing children’s doll photos. My awesome brother wrote a cease and desist letter and we sent it. The stealing stopped and the photos were removed. The creator and their gang still stalk that group to this day. This kind of ruined the doll I’d once loved for me (I even rerooted my 2 dolls’ hair with Saran doll hair, one tiny strand at a time. The original hair was so poor quality and became a frizzball), but I had dreamy design times with her over many insomnia-sick nights, and learned from experience why people use watermarks on their photos! Maybe one day I’ll drag out some of those miniature project pictures/or retake and post here. This was how I first got into leather shoemaking, just 1/6th scale. Then Alpha-gal allergy hit months later and we had to pack up all my leatherstuff. 

     
    Had a scrappy carpet tile, turned into a twisty stick tub with pumpkin beady tuft thing. 
    Because that’s what you do in Fall. You home-alone wheelchair down by the creek, hand yank fine vines off a shrubbery, get your wheels mighty stuck in a hole, and ultimately end up unsteadily staggering back up the hill pushing the sticks in your chairseat-like you are simply a forestfairy godmother taking them on their sunny midmorning stroll. 🧡

     
    Hummel shelf got a little late-year love. Impromptu invented some laminated hangings from an ad for plates in the pie-covered magazine, Vanilla envelopes + back mosaics from a greeting card I couldn’t part from. 
    First attempt at wreath (base) weaving from trees/branches. 
    Yew tree cones, wirebound feathers saved from when we had to wing-clip our Golden Comet hens (neighbor was not a hen-friend) to immobilize them. 

    Cannot believe these wreaths are free from trees! Thanks to my mom wheeling me out and chopping stuff down for me before I  hysterically had to flee from this one wicked hornet-bee. Why were these creatures given extra legs, stingers, AND wings? Terribly unfair. She cut down so much and I nearly collapsed in my chair out there trying to make bunches of wreath bases for all upcoming holidays, not wanting the dear trees to go to waste. She promised there will be others, but is this true outside of summer? 
     I got this far before wilting entirely. It’s hopelessly 1000mph enthusiasm at any project I’m into.

     
    Acorns & Kaya. Thankful for all the tiny pinecones about the acres here! 
     

    Oh! The sunflower wreaths! Van Gogh vibes! I got hopelessly unplanned obsessed with Fall-ing things for my mom and this happened.
    Quick crochet with a chubby hook.9 petaled and 9 per wreath. Soaked in Elmer’s and wood glue diluted and dried to stiffen (after turning my fingernails yellow using the last bottle bits of experimental Wood Hardener on them without gloves. I was out of glue, in the basement floor and too tired to care about caution. It worked well but I ran out of it!)  Twist tie attached . Base is a ring cut from extra carpet tiles that I wrapped in ½-⅝”  strips of shower curtain fabric. Barnyarn hung.


     

    (Random honeywand made for a doll's bee costume long ago).
    *You Are My Sunshine song on repeat for effect* 


     

    Oh! And a little photo size sketch of my bro in Octo’ 1999 for my mom, also. 5.5hrs while in sick stupor, on a clipboard, in a car. Anxious to get obsessed with drawing again, I cannot be a bit balanced! A billion beautiful things to do!

    Autumn arbor from cake holder box cardboard circles and covering in PUL fabric, cork from my shoemaking stash, flooring scraps,+superglue on grandmother’s sparkle stash. And glitter paint. For the kitchen, to correlate with some other orangish round decor I’ll show below…
     

     
    The orange slices were a glad-ccident. I packed (for my mom to eat) oranges for the doctor stay-trip recently and they were too old and squishy. I planned to dry them in the oven for decor, but the others were surprisingly not rotten. But the want of seasonal ceiling citrus stayed, and I had more vanilla envelopes, couldn’t say nope! The juicy bits brightened with orange highlighter.
     Printed from monochrome clip art as printing the orange ink ones on yellow paper gave me lime slices. Saving those surprises for spring/summer!



    Tied to crochet chains created with my mom’s megahook. Citrus garland was a tad thin, made a Macra lace & sheet scrap garland to thicken. 
     
    Corner shelf stolen from closet upstairs, free from the HUD home. Sturdy succulent stand! Oh, but I’ve not yet told of that, must scroll to get to that.  Sorry for discombobulated me! 

    Cut carpet tiles into centerpiece. 


     
    Shabby lil fresh woven wreath because too tired to try harder.

     
    I tend to take out the legs of the dining set with my wheelchair. Awful to make mom’s new homey look shabby! Daring to destroy my spring chalk paintjob. It occurred to me that I should knit bulky bumpers for them! Chunky chair cozies/ leg warmers/sockies. Covered in plastic sheeting fabric scraps, cut from comforter & curtain clear plastic bags (for durability from my wheels & maybe messy meals?). Fresh on the furniture feet, finished from last Friday night to this recent Friday at 4 am! 

     
    It also occurred to me that the carpet tile placemats I made prior work better as seat soft spots/pseudocushions.

     
    Good as a goose, if ever not in-use!

    Extra carpet tiles = me ecstatically  “making” tons of faux rugs everywhere I go:

    A brain backburner idea from last year was carried out thanks to twenty minutes in Target.
    Sculpted smol succulent children for my mom! A due-to-my-dad deprived plantperson. That white pot is my mom’s mortar and pestle base with the rubber bit removed, but she doesn’t mind!

    The baby baskets were born before though!  Saw a Pinterest paper cup weave, had a plastic one from the hotel trip and tried it with this plastic barn yarn. Then doing that caused me to instinctively figure out how to weave it from scratch, so the tube-oval two are not cheat weaves.

     
    Made from Oogoo! Have you heard of it? I did when doing DIYs from Tree Change Dolls long ago. 
    It’s poor people’s Sugru/sculptable rubbery clay. The recipe I use is equal parts cornstarch and interior caulk. I made it a few times prior to the onslaught of my extreme allergy restrictions. You can add acrylic paints if you want colors. It’s amazing stuff! Has anyone made LEGO/Bionicle parts from this? 
    I just mixed up a white batch in a lidded cottage cheese container, shaped, dried, brush painted with wall + acrylic craft paint mix, and sprayed them with art fixatif spray as I had that. 
    For the dirt, I wrapped a medium rock with white PUL fabric and placed it inside for weight, then covered with brown jacket scraps. Stuck on the wrapped rock top with caulk. Similar process for this mortar and pestle turned planter. Dirt is web sewn on the underside onto the felt filled rock PUL piece. Succulents secured to the dirt with a dab of caulk. 

    *Mom being scared to open it saying “it looks too special!”*
    *Me who knows the wrapping is from coffee filters, paint color chips, and a sleepytime tea box quote*

    I’ve recently realized I’m basically a cat. I like leaving gifts for my humans and vanishing, don’t say much/am skittish, nearly nocturnal, fall asleep in the sun, like climbing and sitting in/on things I shouldn't, and am floppy/hypermobile. But I don't have fine cat hair, mine is the crunchy texture of curls. 
    The trio stays in the window, the big one on the corner shelf by itself. 

     
    Mild Autumn attack on my mom’s room. Just flipped the bedding to red side & swirled out some scarves. Sheets were a forgotten gift from Aunt J. last year.
    .
    Added one of the sticky wreaths on the mirror with quick chain crochet colors. This messy make from millions of moons ago, paint by number canvas that I enjoyed ignoring in the utmost. 
    Mom’s Brownie bear is finally the rightful owner of a long ago hospital knit plush sweater.
     
     
    Mom’s childhood doll’s green-trimmed and sleeved dress tucked & poofed into a pumpkin, twisted Cinderella style? Her face stains are from when her prisoner brother Sharpie X’s over her eyes. Ink removal we should retry.
     
    And that finished a funtastic full fall haul from September 2nd to 22nd. I am happily physically shattered!
    Unbelievable Autumn has come! Our first one settled here! I love the leaves, our old house had only sad pine needles-painful piles to play in and full of ticks. It’s the greatest existence I’ve known here with dear Mom. Wish she’d gotten her own place years ago, haha. So peaceful, no shouting, stress or scary-loud television. Cannot wait for bro to visit again, we hadn’t even finished the hall bathroom when he came at Christmas. Now ”Ta-da! List”ing  what decor I should make at Christmas. Planning the color scheme and theme already. 
    Cinderella aesthetic, chores + clothing little house friends…if I can call a soap dispenser my friend. Flooring scraps and leather thread, at least the poor thing is not naked!
    Culinary crafts!
    Spice crumb cake in my misfit sized cake pan stack. Chocolate chip coconut oil muffs with walnut & choc on top. Spice and sweet potato sweet  squares, walnut chocolate pastry pods + brekkie granola rounds. 

    Cheddar cheese petite pizzas, I was thrilled to figure out they fit in coffee cans for freezer storage. Olives feel luxurious.
    The mysterious ways of mayonnaise. 
    It PROTECT, it expires at precisely 10:04 am. 
    Plus the poor broccoli baby missed in a morning rush. 

    Light and fluffy butter loaves (actually oil because $) that were altered from a Texas Riaddhouse roll recipe and this a bit stubby. Horizontal slicing to the rescue & flash frozen on trays as always. Grateful to have grabbed our four lovely loaf pans when we left. Oven Naan breads, a fan of the King’s (KAF brand) recipes I am! 

    Onto the +3 abandoned alternate art endeavors! One sewing, one drawing, one painting. Amazing how little I am accomplishing at the moment, haha. Impromptu organizing has been happening lately, in the office and kitchen. Inspirational at 5 AM when I can’t find my Thing, that Thing. Or my mom’s Thing. We probably totally crammed & chucked stuff in after moving. Finally feeling like a proper place to live.❤️
    Love and leaves to all this Fall.  May your Autumn be awesome 🧡

    “Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.” ~Suzanne Weyn
     
    Basically I’m low on Real art to show right now, fell for Fall, + since late July it’s been a daily battle because of hydrating and actually eating some glorious food, and trying to figure out what on earth to eat. 
    (Spamblings below about my medical and parent stuff  that I am not sure how to use a spoiler tag for: 
    (Kind of outdated content because I am the snail.)
    Some of these *holds back hysterical happy screams* magnificent daily meals of 500-600 calories I’ve had the unspeakable joy of ingesting. Mostly protein (severely low BUN on labs), bullion, salty sauces (and small amounts of the miracle of Mayo, cheese & ketchup) , and beloved vegetables.

     It stays in my body for 0.5-3 hours. I assume some of it must be absorbing, at least every gram of glucose spikes in my blood. An apple throws me over 250 at the two hour post-first-bite prick. The persisting hyperglycemia coupled with the rapid rejection and fluid floss are a true medical freak.  three years since eating adequately/more than a meal of daily broth and (celiac testing) bread,  or post stroke few bites of starchy stuff + severe dehydration. I now cry from gratitude while savoring such treats, then cry from pain trying not to blackout on the bath floor for the next few hours. This trade off/post ingestion punishment has absolutely improved my quality of life. I’m old and want to eat. If I were even given the choice of “last meal or continue living with feeding tube/TPN” you all are invited to the feast. There will be pizza, hummus, salmon, ice cream, cookies and watermelon. 
     
    The post drinking and eating reactions are much worse-for gory details of what that means: 0.5-2 hrs post ingestion = 15-30 (EDIT: now it’s typically 30-60) urgent GI episodes over the next 2-4 hours with low blood pressure, LUQ stabbing, face flushing, some throat constriction, tachycardia & hyperglycemia. Massive lower extremity edema. Samples tested, confirmed nonInfectious GI reactions as I already knew. Just the result of food and water. Leaving the bathroom is too risky, better to bring a floor pillow and try not to pass out. Thankfully with symptoms so severe I cannot be dismissed by doctors-they now keep telling me go to the ER for IV fluids. It’s exhausting to go to the ER with 3-4 diseases to only leave with needle wounds, and “I have no idea how to help, we are sorry, follow with your specialists and PCP” from frightened looking doctors, though. I don’t know if they’d do any useful tests/imaging. It’s been years since scans. 
    Thus, I  am surviving with concentrated lemon juice + Himalayan salt in Gatorade zero, coffee, and eating spoons of straight yellow mustard all day to replenish my electrolytes and bring up my dangerously low blood pressure. I’m drinking over 250oz water some days because of losing massive fluid amounts. I think I’m sleeping like 3 hrs a night, often?  My electrolytes were perfect at the last PCP visit a week ago leaving my doctor absolutely impressed (because she told me to go to the hospital that day,  but knowing I was okay, I didn’t). So apparently “bio-hacking” by ear is working. The basic blood panels did shockingly show useful info-I have idiopathic neutropenia and my BUN/protein is unsurprisingly severely low. Eggs, cottage cheese, Chicken-all so good, oh my gosh. It’s been years since I’ve eaten anything besides bread or broth. Eating so many beautiful vegetables, broths and some dairy, Mayo and proteins, I cannot wait to eat starches and fruits soon. They send me into hyperglycemia coma mode currently-even tiny amounts. I’m up to one ~600 calorie meal a day, I feel rich because it has been 3 years since eating this much (Metabolic m e s s. I, the inexplicably self-sustaining life form, haven't lost any more weight, in spite of my body rejecting everything ingested within 0.5-4 hours, so that’s a win, at least? Guessing the hyperglycemia has a role in this.). Totally worth the next three hours on the bathroom floor, haha. Finally getting some IG posts up thanks to this. I’m amazed at the skilled humans who can eat/drink (like multiple times in one day!) and function afterwards, please teach me your ways! 
     
    I don’t recommend this at all. DIY glucose tolerance testing. Overnight no drinking or eating, then a breakfast of 17.3 Twizzlerschoked down (while timed) in 5 minutes (updated number from Sci papers given 2023 nutritional content/this size). 

    I’m shocked by the blandness of the candy, was mildly improved with salt. Then glucose, BP & pulse recorded every hour for three hours. My PCP couldn’t order an oral glucose tolerance test. So I went PubMed and Mayo clinic vigilante (   https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3781564/ https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/glucose-tolerance-test/about/pac-20394296 ), conducted my own test and documented photo results/reactions in graphic detail. Test included losing consciousness on the bath floor with Gi epsiodes and sleeping almost entirely for two days. But yes! I was correct and my pancreas is pitiful. Doctor was so shocked by this she ordered a simultaneous office lab draw with my home monitor to calibrate/make sure my readings were real. They were 3pts off-highly accurate. So now recording the wacky high blood sugars I’m having in spite of barely eating & not even even any direct grainy/starch based carbs.
     
    I (& my mom when available) am taking my vitals and blood sugars through the day (at least 3x) , recording my daily intake of food and fluid and all the 10-30 daily medical episodes and symptoms. Then my mom types it into a Google doc. The point of this is so doctors can grasp how I’m actually living when sent links via the medical mychart messaging. I think I’d be horrified by it if it weren’t me in this body. Some things seem harder to watch than to live yourself. My mom is the best and I feel so bad about her dealing with all of it. Not  just seeing it-all the caregiving, bills and travel stress. Ex dad got away with zero financial help for her or me-dumping all the future + old medical bills he refused to pay on my mom. The legal things were settled mostly in February. Never in my life have I longed to walk out in traffic like this. No one else in my life had made me feel so utterly worthless. My stomach turns thinking about how no one gets away with anything, and the weight of what waits for some.  Guilt over the air I breathed. So my care/chronic sickness wouldn’t be even more of a burden to my poor mom any longer.. But thank goodness with every brain break and bad idea we by belief rise stronger.I am begging her to let my medical record bills go to collections, I have nothing of my own + disabling genetic incurable condition(s), so chances of future me ever being an Actual Adult and needing this “credit” thing are zero. [🎵my new (Taylor Swift) pseudo song is “I am never, ever, ever,  going to be better!”..because if I can’t beat it, I’ll dance to the beat of it ✨🎵] Applying for SSI takes an eternity, even with a free-till-won disability lawyer. A lot of this is the fact that I’ve been disabled/chronically ill since a child + homeschooled, and never been able to live like others. Their “residual job functioning capacity” questions and tests are completely irrelevant,  as I never have been able to fully function. I hope for Medicare/Medicaid approval. Exdad drops my insurance next year, and my mom, the full time tool cashier, cannot afford it. She’s calling the local ERs for financial aid applications. Duke keeps renewing my charity care/ full financial aid, though! Incredibly grateful. I don’t know how any of the grown up stuff works. If I  have no money and never have, am incurably diseased, disabled, and soon to be uninsured, where do they expect to get paid from? I know the ER cannot refuse to treat anyone, even the homeless, thankfully. I have no idea why my mom is trying to pay them, they only grow.  Exdad took the medical savings card access, too. His lawyer was so crooked and hers didn’t care. They tried to steal my mom’s inheritance. She barely got her inheritance childhood home, the abandoned puppy mill we were forced to flee to, then rebuild (but now SO love ❤️), leaving their marital home and life behind with him.  He is trying to cause problems by not signing the divorce papers, so the restraining order may be renewed. He cannot stop the divorce, court can force it. It’s about him trying to keep his small retirement savings. He also didn’t sign the paperwork on the one old car my mom got, then canceled the insurance on it (this is the only car my mom got out of the total old 4 family cars-and this was her mom’s 19 year old mom inheritance car. And she was driving me to Duke hospital regularly in this) intentionally sabotaging us. Making it illegal to drive that car, as  my mom couldn’t legally pay for insurance on a car not signed over to her. This was all happening late July as we were daily evaluating whether I should go to the ER. But driving there would be illegal-my mom had to short-drive to work with legal paperwork and hope not to get pulled over. She ultimately had to take the small sum she barely got from the divorce split up and buy a new used car, as she could buy insurance for it. We are terribly grateful, she loves it, and it’s so nice for the wheelchair, but wow. My mom is wise and would never ordinarily make such a purchase without being cautious. I shudder at the future of some evil individuals. Thank goodness we no longer live with such darkness. I have the noblest mom ever. Being safe and free makes up for possible poverty. Nothing in life is better than to be with companions worthy.  Everything is far better than last year! It's only the uncertainty medically with me, along with the possibility of her adopted criminal creep brother being released from prison soon-we don’t know if he gets 4+ more years. He is not welcome here, nor may he drain my mom. 
     She deserved so much better, and I trust the tide’s truly turning. I wish I could fix it all for her.  But I can’t…so instead I’ll try to do the chores + cook for her between collapsing, and decorate inside these walls with the spirit of Fall! (Wheelchair power!!!) Creations can cheer countless clouds away.
    ❤️
    Doctor visits were awesome last time given the battle royale removal of my medical-kidnapping-misdiagnosis! So weird to be treated like a human being with value instead of a worthless little worm. For some reason my PCP (who had blindly gone along with the sketchy GI doctor and fully blamed me) now seems to respect me since I explained/proved it and almost fired her too, haha. So strange not to be a scapegoat. I’m baffled for being believed and am almost crying with relief. Rheumatology successfully got me back to my endocrinologist for Carcinoid syndrome/NET. This time around I don’t have to consider falsely telling them I want to change genders just to get an appointment- three years ago I was desperately sick and considering this strategy. I instead got in due to my systemic nonstature stunting/being a human horseshoe crab. That appointment is at the end of March 2024. Three years since she hastily “doctor punted” my complex case to GI & rheumatology while I was telling her that did not explain my endocrine symptoms. I’m also on a new Duke GI doctor waitlist for a January 2024 appointment. Still nobody has/can reread my crimped artery abdominal ultrasound. The plan is to contact PCP if my fasting blood sugars get above a certain number consistently (they are almost there). I, at the time of writing this, have a test for POTS soon where I will be tied to a tilt table with the “different provoking measures we may use during the test- deep breathing, blowing into a tube, hand in ice water, and nitroglycerin.” 
    *googles nitroglycerin*….😎🍿)
     
    So that’s life lately! I am constantly shocked at the adaptability of the human body! Grateful beyond belief. 
    My cup is not half empty, nor half full, for I find it overflos. 
     
    Random wildlife visits! The crow knocking on the window woke me up!

     
    And I went to grab the the web-stuck butterfly for decor but the poor thing wasn’t dead, flew away instead!

    Resident falcon visits a good bit.
     And when new carpenter Uncle Dave surprises you while you were gone on a doctor daytrip and patches your crumby pillars + leaves gifts of homegrown tomatoes at your door!
     Little metal cross created by my mom’s customer and generously chucked at her, now cherished in  paperclip holder.
     
  17. Mushy the Mushroom
    Upholstery from $10 hotel chairs from a market years ago, store display crib mattress foam, brown astroturf(?) rolls someone abandoned behind the store where my dad works (people dump the oddest articles there, once even a freezer still full) , PUL scraps, spray adhesive, garage spray paint and two $5 blankets.
    ~63 hours for two chairs.

    My mom
    Never any money for house things or what she needs.
    It gets to me.
    I cannot buy it...make it? I'll try it!
    Before: (Extra one)

     
    Astroturf later stapled and sewn on first. Spent a lot of hours sewing this before it occurred to my mom what this material actually was... I accidentally upholstered with astroturf...proud of my observation skills here.

    The PUL layer with velcro attachments. Only the hook-side needed since the turf clings. elastic and velcro on the cushions. This was initially intended as a final layer due to a lack of fabric funds.  Carefully patterned it & realized it looked rubbish.
    Gnawing off the leg varnish & paint took longer than anticipated despite the magic power tools.

    My dad brought two blankets home.
    Bingo!
    Removable layer two, pattern new.

    Uncanny cushion design as XL throws only go so far.
    Snap closures.

    Had no paint thinner/stripper, sanded paint from the hinges of my old bookshelf like a barbarian with a dremel drill.  Shaved the sticky door edges off, drilled holes in the clock and shelf and wired to the back, screwed shelves down like a setup hypochondriac. In honor of her recently inherited heirloom Hummels. Showered & shined in a salad bowl. *no pressure at all*
    She went shopping, surprise setup time.
    *shoved long-lacking quarter-round along this wall*
    *rug to hide the peeling up fail floor*
    *going to replace yellow bells with eternal imposters later*
    *finished 5-10 minutes before her return and fell over in bone shattering exhaustion with zero regrets*
     

    Peculiar curtain hanging as peppery Pug twirls amongst them.
     
     
    Tissue paper, origami squares, feathers. 
    Wasn’t intended to look like an Easter egg! 
    Sakura Lanterns made from poster board and construction paper… years ago, sides resewn.
    Couldn't walk after this setup
     
     

    Buttermint dough baby dino in a Shroom Sylva sprinkle storm. 
    There’s a lemon cheesecake she’s guarding under the grounds there. I sadly do not possess frosting finesse.
    *buttermint dough fractures, but chosen for flavor. The claws and spiky dino bits are sprinkles shoved into holes I gouged with toothpicks.I think it took about 5-6 hours to do the decorating part?

     
    [not pictured: my mom sobbing as I tell her only she may slay the dragon]

    Still too sick to eat cake, got to bake it at least!
     
    Honey Badger greets ya with a smile as warm as his pizza!

    (Small doodle one in honor of my dad’s cheerful, young coworker, Adger. Twas his nickname. COVID took him. ) 
    Artgift & Fixatif
     
    *hundreds more to go*

    Beloved balloons bring impromptu romps.

    The bird's name is Betty BTW.
     
    Their songs still spin on (this is non-fiction!)
     

    May your equinox rock!

  18. Mushy the Mushroom

    Bambi! Bugs! Bow Ties! Pies!

    By Mushy the Mushroom,


    Life is balloons
    -Bambi, October 5, 2021.
    In your honor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Csjb9HWCk8

    I just left the lighter there?
    But also: 
    *DUN DUN* [sur]P[r]IES 
    Complete life cycle condensed in 30 seconds. (AKA: Fast version of maunderings below)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLWBw0BzM48

    Set sail at three am, a glorious distraction XD 90 minutes carving after sketch, 60 film/setup. Done with porcelain fill marker, carving tool, Xacto, electric bread knife, and my drill bits (prior sanitized). Is this how people ordinarily carve these things? I’ve never done a pumpkin/squash before. Was I supposed to use the Dremel? Didn’t seem prudent to simply decapitate Acorn Child/Fairy Gourdfather (We’ve bonded, had grand times… too soon) so boom, balloon brain. Turned inside out as it was what I had. Swing suspended out of the way by luggage straps and a bungee. Needed ambient lighting, fire hazard time. Grocery bag blobs. 

    Cam off, baked squash. Pies for my peoples. Faintly fancier than usual (finished the next day, fell over).  FullFallFestivityFeels instead of Sprinkles+ShapesThatAreEasyToCramInAFreezer. Chocolate X Cookie crust. Accidental upside-down rose pies thanks to the silicone pan, painted edible red with dyed almonds as leaves. Few frozen for Thanksgiving, maybe? Perhaps then I’ll be able to eat some like a realgirlhuman?! Without throat constriction? Please?

    -Bambi, October 5, 2021.
    Done, yes, - The frosting foam, that is! 
    Thanks for the amusement, Bambi. Has greatly enriched my life. XD
     
    Cringe content repository:
    Me as a florist:

    Look closely. 

    Cicada shells, cheery fellows! Used to glean gallon-size bags of them off our trees and set up armies of them all about the house. Trails down every stairwell. Mini captains of boats. Great toys. Grand that people are Cicada cooking now?! I researched so hard about whether or not the shells were poisonous four years ago. My ducks loved to eat them, they looked and felt like crisp potato chips, I wanted to join them! Couldn’t get a straight answer online, sadly never dared. Have you tried them, or the shells? Still rather tempting.

    ^They send their love to all~
    Bow ties are cool, but we aren’t.

    Well, I was admittedly terrified to ask my dad to dress up. XD Not sure why, he happily obliged. I think he’d agree to any genre of absurdity, being a former masked pro wrestler. ._. 
    Why this atrocity?
    https://youtu.be/dYQ-VURstig
    Well...in 2015 the spontaneous idea of “MUST create a GIANT Adipose plush/blobchair for my brother” somehow materialized. Went feral and free-cut without a pattern. It took a mighty quantity of poly-fil. The floored grin on his face that Christmas-bahaha! I've no recollection of where I hid the thing before wrapping it, It’s exactly 4.5 feet tall!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJaeIPJEbNo
    Then, in 2016, he hoped to acquire a purple Dalek, but without luck. Got some felt and some plush-toy eyes and attempted to fix that up (and BB8, more robots to exterminate/celebrate.). (Oldugly watermark due to an IP theft thing, I lack the original here.)

     Time jump to present,this monstrosity, Adi’ wanted a horsecart ride, I, Sara, made an attachable Clara collar (olddress made 2yrs ago as I’m slacking), voltage tester and tape became the Sonic, The Child repped the Tardis, and my dad, volunteering as a tribute pony, actually agreed to this? Thanks?  CRINGE. [Brought to you by poor judgement and low quality editing tools.]

    Happy scare season from my family to yours, I guess? [We are not celebrants of Halloween. This is our typical aberrancy]
     
    *Slinks back into bushes lowkey questioning life choices while chilling with the Cicada crew* 

    Ooh might as well re-drop this little dude over here also:

    Edit: Oops, got the quote date wrong. Fixed. Sorry Bambi.  
     
  19. Mushy the Mushroom

    108+ Hours: Snow Leopard

    By Mushy the Mushroom,


    fairytale ramblings
    Hello! A scan of Snow. Audiobooks and art do jolly the heart!
    9x12, watercolor paper, pencil and acrylic.
    Drawing time: unknown, very undetailed sketch from years ago.
    Painting time: 108 hours.
    My scanner also has snipped off the edges here and no time to splice it.
    *afraid to upload higher quality due to uncertainty about the current content size limits.*

     
     
    Done in 30 minute to one hour bursts (Gauze and braces to control the hand swelling/protests).
     

     
     
    The wacky way my mind apparently sees fit to document time...please no one check my addition.
    *cringing at the crude sketch*
     

     
     Finished in May before things went to utter dismay for a way. I won’t miss that wicked week of sleeping on shifts for safety. Hopefully legalthings will be settling, it’s so much bettering! Court ordered support, food is good, and using the window AC because it was in the 90s inside. My soul does sing, secret projecting, for such joy comes with rejecting all other things, for fast progress it brings! 
    In fairytales it somehow seems easy, you see. It seems such villains only dare to disown stepdaughters and such, for it’s much more merciful to believe that blood is stronger than water. And the betrayers of trust seem nearly always blown away as little gusts of dust. Instead of the reality looking over one’s shoulder, but that’s when one can believe they’re surrounded by an army of invisible soldiers! 
    I so do miss this dear dreamland of clockwork composed castles in the beaches of blog sand, but I understand that if I get writing, it’s absolutely igniting and I’m afraid I’d better wait just to be extra safe! (The predicament of being a happy hermit who hardly speaks a bit, this is my outlet. Those fairytale-fumblings, photo-fueled written fits. And can I use my words at all, if without some rhythm they fall? I often wonder if it gets on the nerves, if anyone might observe. If so, I apologize for any anguish over my singsong language. 
     
    *imaginary frolicking and bursting at the seams with a continual project photoverload of Things I Shouldn’t Be Doing piling up* 
     
    Thankfully right before bolting I did get another diagnosis(ish), autoimmune UTCD, due to positive ANA combined with all the other abnormal blood antibodies, so two connective tissue diseases now it seems. *Relief mingled with flashbacks of “Yay, it’s a true thing and nobody is furious for it and telling me it’s not real?!” What a wonderful world where weakness won’t be weaponized. I think I’m in that world now? At least safe in our own house! Successfully made the first eight hour, four appointment doctor daytrip at three different hospital locations in our 18 year old car the other day. Overwhelmed with gratitude that my mom is willing to wake & take me at three in the morning. And it’s lovely to get to do some art in the car, because the obsessive new-not-yet-allowed-to-talk-about projecting I am delightedly taking too far. We even remembered to pack the wheelchair! A treat because anymore the wheels get stuck on the stray nails in the “floor”, but hopefully staggering about is…strengthening? I wondered how bad the bloodwork would be, given the …haha.. uh…living conditions life's thrust upon us. But I promise now it’s at the level where it wouldn’t be condemned! Merely multiplying Monocytes. It may have been far worse! Neurology was…interesting. They think the problems are small fiber neuropathy, and are planning to do an EMG and muscle biopsy. Hoping Gabapentin will not make me a sloth, but sleeping more than four to six hours every 20 sounds miraculous. Also learned I cannot lift my toes which is odd to process. ENT dr.  #1 did reference eye scans at last to ensure Plaquenil doesn’t destroy my vision (escape equaled canceled appointment.) ENT dr. #2 was much more skilled at using the nasoscope than the prior person. Tip-top when terror goes to waste! They plan to take my tonsils and the adenoids because of infection. Antibiotics again. So strange, antibiotics all about lately. I have another dentist now and they prescribe pre meds every time to prevent endocarditis/infection? Now wondering if it was slightly scary that the swelling tooth infections weren't medicated at my old dentist, rather mysterious.
     
    Okay, done rambling, real reason for beloved blogging is because I recklessly worked to the point where I couldn't walk again and resting was dull I have another 8hr drive daytrip for the fifth diagnostic GI procedure where they’re putting me under again is approaching. A tad precarious given the weirdness various, so a bit of art to show before I go! 
     
    New friend groundhog must visit the blogs!
    He has a hole there, just stands and stares.
    *terrible tablet pic*

    And a little oldhouse frog!

    🎶Just Thinking About Tomorrow
    Clears Away The Cobwebs And The Sorrow 'Til There's None
    The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow
    So You Gotta Hang On 'Til Tomorrow, Come What May 🎶
  20. Mushy the Mushroom
    March, oh my, almost flown by, I feel like the March Hare shouting "I’m late!" for my pretend post-date!
    Present proceedings:
    -Traumatic almost ends to a toxic situation.
    Thankful that the terriblest times typically cannot precisely recur in a particular person’s story.
    -Unrelated double ER day did damages that aren't bandaged, too drained to explain, brain & body badly bumbling since. Eating, drinking, moving, sleeping, thinking, I’m brilliantly bad at all that. But breathing, and I have usable hands!  Drowning in Duke doctors doing their best to diagnose some suspected ultra rare “root disease” of the speedily sprouting idiopathic secondaries. 
    (Fr e e s o c k s + six(?) hours of waiting room weave while watching other patients leave
    + CannotSeeAThingInThisDarkCarDoodle and the “Ran out of yarn, paper cranes to amuse that toddlerpatient” to keep hands busy & mind sane! Inexpressibly obliged to have a mom, always there, uncontainable care. I wish everyone had a mom, what gift could be more golden?)

    -Life is a lovely thing to live around people positive! 
    -I haven't touched a dead rat or nest all year! I’ve been very good. Rarely doing limpy late night ladder leaps these days, you see. Only minor chairclimbing for curtains!
    -Our windowside wildflowers are blooming. Springs seem sunnier here, I wonder if it’s the mountainous elevation or pure imagination.

    -Chronic midproject making madness missions marching forth! Even a couch can be a creative chariot *lapdesk lightning bolt power* with essentially endless enchanted art endeavours to edit!
    Significantly surprising when ~half I've made I simply forget exists at this point, haha. 
    -Phone of my own for photos! Thankfully a retired one that will never, ever ring (meaning hauling me into a hermit-hiding fit from it at home. Guessing that the former years of ~7 daily pointless phone calls from one individual could have contributed to the recoiling? ) It wasn’t difficult to phoneless document projects prior, as 24/7 access was warmwelcomed as my mom was always around. Inexpressible appreciation! Miss her lots. Sorry for fuzzy Fire-tablet photos in the mix here. And shadowy shots. And if these possibly oversized images are harming the site?
     
    Specks to show, but back to sewing small.  A game of “Can I sew this fast and beat the neuropathic fire, lefty foot limpness & edema fluid before it fills my feet? ” Wonder if supine machine sewing is achievable. The adventures of adaptation! *EDIT:    
    Just yesterday I figured out a floorflop footless footpedal function to be used from now on. Relief! Power!


     A tale of Tatooine twins. To begin!
    Once upon a not far away time...a noble lady noted a night of Star Wars watching amongst the nice folk of the workplace. An uncanny correlation of conversation! For the leader of the league had of late procured a pair of undesired plastic persons in a collection lot, bought from an "extra" actress in the Star wars films.  Once upon ages ago in a home far, far away...a little human became absurdly obsessed with Star Wars. This was thanks to a Lego Xbox game from a grandfather, the fisherman one. She so longed for a certain little Leia doll, but no luck did fall, due to the tag on that specifically splendid ‘70s doll.
    This is that 1978 doll. Sent to me without being sought out at all.
    Hysterical happiness! I daresay- miraculous! Not that material things matter much, but such meaning and memories the plastic molds can hold!
     Little video of my dear death star duo:
     

    \


    Referred permanently for robe rehab. I reminisced over my days of doll doovers inspired by the Tree Change Dolls and then did the daring thing-repainting!  
    A catastrophe in the collector's eyes?
    But done with love, and so far, no lighting has punished me from above. The generous giver wanted to see the makeover, and remarkably- wasn't angry! Actually pleased!? 
    *
    Untimed project due to being out of practice+physical flops/post ERs project pause for weeks.
    Absenteeism of old faces by acetone.
    Repainted the faces, bodies and limbs with acrylic craft paint. Used various PC pictures as a skin color guide for overriding the orange aura. I fear their complexions are not perfect, but bumbled as best I could, and their kind natures are quite good. Sealed with Jo Sonja's matte brush on varnish.  Sewed and gelled Leia's cinnamon buns back. Drafted their clothes from paper towel + tape test garments. Leather scrap accessories, mostly handsewn.
    Shoes also paper-towel drafted and held on with baby rubber bands…because it's a supply I storage-scavenged.

    And a drive link with WIP pics: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xROTDk3lRt0JFEGLurrp2h1ZKrECQtvS asI had this already to send to the giver and was too tired to properly post all pictures.
    The Skywalker family is uncanny in its relatability to me. Siblings with the same first letter of names, one fancy, one a family-farm-dweller, the dangerous dad, the moral mom made miserable for it, and the abnormal lack of other family members to stop the tragedy.

    So, sew, totoro!
    The story of how this spirit sprouted: I naturally was making a preliminary pattern for Agnes’ Fluffy Unicorn in the form of a costume suit for The Baby, as you do. This was a post-paper bean, old t-shirt-first test subject I’d already mentally trashed. 
    Video because overabundant pictures:


     


    But then by some miraculous twist, it looked okay and was Totoro-tone. So, ears, faux fur and leather, and braided embroidery thread whiskers (hooked on sewing machine needle during braid for neatness). And the tiny, hand beaded, machine-veined tree toupee! Dear knowledgeable ones, is it truly an Akita leaf as this one article says https://www.laitimes.com/en/article/vioe_w7d3.html ? 
     

     
    .
     

     
    Was the wandering wheelchairless weirdo for these photos, thus not at all pro. Wish I weren’t too weak for a serious stop motion production. Late January. A fine feeling to breathe the arbor-aroma after days of complete crippled couch confinement! Never understood why adults don't climb trees typically, I’d live in one if my legs would allow it! Russian yew tree twigs, Alaskan blown glass buoy orbs brought from my grandparents’ + mom’s major move, many moons ago.
     
    @Bambi has first-rate create recommendations. 
    “June 19, 2022: Now you just need a Mimikyu to go with that Pikachu. ”
    Thanks for 3hrs of thread therapy! 

    Bit-sized butterflies! And feather from dear Brownie, my once-duck-baby we had to leave behind.


    Cannot remember the contents.  Two months was a terribly long time ago! Did I already share this shot?
    …hmm, art was in this! *subtracts points from senility score with laughable satisfaction*
     
    Mermaid-ish mom top made from a precut back in the basement residence. French seams and such.

     
    Bakes thanks to new backbrace need (and wheelchariot, so weird to remember cooking without it.) Caramel crumb cookies and yeastroll feast, not properly planned in the least but for a birthday of our benevolent once-basement-hosts!
    Sprinkley spontaneity party from September! 

     
    And bake box for momcoworkers. Three am tablet photos being triumphant, of course. 

    So spine shattering and shortness of breath inducing, sadly. Shouldn’t be doing extra stuff, but suffering for special occasions-other people treats is a pretty sweet pretend occupation to me! 
    Used to want to be a pastry chef prior to the allergic to everything adventures. But thankfully also a costume designer, a toy maker, Jedi, and an artist of course, so no sadness stayed once that idea strayed. At this point I’m thinking being a fairy godmother or a grandma-minus-the-family would be the most wondrous and well-suited dream career. #1 has the wings for optimum mobility, and how nice it would be to be invisible, unknown, free, far-away, in a forest fairy village making tiny gifts for all ze humans at all hours, and dropping them at doorsteps on phantom runs. #2 matches my mobility and eccentric octogenarian interests. Unremitting time & things to invent when repelled by traditional entertainment/television!
     
    Oh yes! Some tutorials tied up, hoping they aren’t too topsy-turvy for typical translation: 
     
     
     
    *Still silently with Greg on this and esteem them as best friends* 

     
    Wow, this is wackily harder to organize words. Sorry for the near-nonsense.
    Art assemblages wait until next time, I go crumble like an overcrisp crippled cookie now.
    Care, cheerfulness and imaginary confectioneries to all!  Wishing you a superb start of spring!
     

    *adoring that magic wand duster far more than I should*

    Probably going to regret not proofreading this later.
  21. Mushy the Mushroom

    280.7hrs: Painting My Brother.

    By Mushy the Mushroom,


    Life is balloons
    “The Move”
    18x24” 140lb watercolor paper. Drawn a long while ago with pencil, started the painting with acrylics in May, taking long breaks until around September, when mania began. Finished December 6th, 2021.
    Drawing time:? Painting time: About 280.7 hours/11.66 days. The longest time prior poured into a painting was 56 hours.
    Reference was my brother at a Chess tournament in December 2019. Wanted the board in the painting, so MS paint spliced this facepalming player’s board in, stolen from the same FB tournament album. Random coffee cup ref. from Google. I don’t know how to play Chess, once the thing was done, I showed my bro, and thankfully he said it wasn’t a losing position(?). Is it true?
    (photo)

    If life gives pain, why not turn it into a painting?
    Done in short burst style, about an hour at time at most. Much done while transient GI intussusceptions occur/resolve (the feel becomes familiar, the ER would be weary of seeing me, so I wait, wait, paint, paint..) Working those tiny details while gnashing gum has been a perfect pastime through the nights. And audiobooks, it never occurred to me that one could consume them while creating. Twirled through some Bionicle Adventures books and The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom, my now-favorite book!

    First try at getting something scanned at Staples. I got it mildly stuck in the scanner, never having done this before, but all turned out well (Thanks, Mr. Moe!). First time using a USB. *fuuuture*
    The scan kind of bleached out the details, tried to edit but have no idea how. Hid my sig on the score sheet.

    The subject, who generously didn’t mind me neglecting a model consent form! Better figure out how to get a print made for him, as atonement. 

    We cannot cope with shutter photos, so grainy ones from video. Faceless photo, maybe our awkward won’t show?
    He’s smart…and uh, I sort of try the art? 

    But maybe we’re all mess-terpieces? 



     
    Creating confessions:
    Only the second big drawing, 9x12s are my main.  I only just realized I should wear my jackets/shirts inside out so it's harder to paintruin them. This is one of my first done mainly/partially in art acrylics. For years, I’d only used Plaid Apple Barrel craft paints (the allergies). I still like them for their smooth/thin finish, but some of the reds are dull. I had to fine-grit-paper sand some of the art acrylic rough spots down. Seemed barbarically effective, Quora said it was fine.  I haven’t ever used a real palette before. I use plates covered in plastic wrap or parchment paper, with a cake cover lid to keep them fresh. Easy to clean up! It took me quite a while to learn to cover the portion of the painting that rested under my hand with a piece of paper (bye, smudgies!) The angles are off-especially on my brother’s face. Hopefully it matches his current features more so than the two-year-old photo? Never painted a relative before, dear bro, please forgive! How I time my projects:
    I wondered if I'd live to finish this. I am numb. (Like, brain-numb. Not physically numb, but that does happen to my limbs a lot now, haha.) Eeekyay! Little Po' in the window. Outfit might truly be a new knitted six-side star borrowed from my mom. 

     
    What does one do for fun?
    Sometimes switching out mom's phone contacts to LEGO lookalikes.

    And seeing things are easily fairytales, if you please.

    And that life is just better with cookies.

    Wishing all an exuberant new year!
    (Also, thanks a million to BZP for putting up with me. I cannot express how much this place, and people have brightened a medically dark year!)
     
  22. Mushy the Mushroom
    A Curious Collection of Child-Created Plushies 
    (A photo backlog blog with redundant writing style. Compiled during the precious few minutes of freetime in the car. Editing sponsored by poor quality control and insomnia.)

    Once upon a world ago, when I first began teaching myself to sew and draft patterns for plush toys, my mom mentioned I should take a photo with myself and all these curious critters I’d dreamed (dragged?) into existence.
    At the time I said I couldn’t because they were yet-to-be-given gifts and a group gathering would risk ruining the surprise. 
    There are individual photos stashed away on some forgotten/lost USBs somewhere. 
    Many of these plush people were deployed to grandmothers, distant family others, but most rest with parents and brother. Clusters stand guard about the house, but they’re preponderantly a trunk troop these days. Today they’ve assembled for photo play.
    I used to feel guilty over giving these because they were all only plushies-and I had no knowledge of how to sew/make anything else for gifts, this was all I knew to do to show my love for my people. How gracious were the recipients-nobody ever laughed. I used to be so terribly afraid I’d not have time to make gifts when grown, as I was incredibly slow, and for some reason would always attempt to make 3 plush toys each for both my parents and brother every Christmas.  I usually started pouring over them as soon as the year began and it was entertainment grand in the midst of flipped sleep.
    To this day I’ve never followed a store-bought/premade pattern, didn’t think to look up real methods/books for sewing, and some of these funny friends are a testimony of how much that would have improved the quality therein, instead of merely human patience. Felt sheets, as one may observe, falls victim to fuzzing quite frightfully with wear.
    Prior to all this: 
    *why …do we still… have this 😆*

    ...I gave my dad... a trash bag...?
    And so it begins with pre-sewing machine makes: the Towel Totoro with painted details (made a V2 towel totoro and gave away later, but lost photos) Senior the Owl (Señor was what I meant, made for my bro’s birthday. ), Valentine dino for bro, Giant Microbes E.coli plush attempt for my bro’s Christmas gift. 

    Hamel the Camel- also pre-sewing machine. 
    From one cured ham sack (body) One soccer sock (head/neck), two glove fingertips (ears),four small sock legs and startling sharpie button eyes. 

    Drink can, black ballet tights, two packing peanut plush. And George the Towel Bear, first thing done by machine. Gave him to my dad.

    Little early-makes ornaments and stocking stuffers for family.
     

    Mother owl + candy cane stocking stuffer for brother. 

    Trio of Snow, from so long ago!

    One of my first sewing machine projects and 3D plush drafts. I remember taking forever hand sewing the limbs and head on. For my dad’s Christmas gift.

    Elephant plush and Felt camel. Camel’s blanket woven on my mini-loom.

    Felt dolly stocking stuffer and tee shirt Pusheen, one the first couple plushies sewn by machine. A heavy kitty, filled with fabric scraps.

    Gray pup and Snaily. Snaily was a first-machine-year project for my mom’s Christmas. Sewn during summer sick-insomnia nights. 

    Christmas chameleon for my bro and deer for a parent, cannot remember which one. 😆

    Fleece dolphin, very early attempt.

    Sebastian the Seahorse for Sam, my bro + a stubby rendition of Mr. Narwhal from Elf for my dad. 

    Easter Eggbunnies + Father’s Day dog made from pants. 

    Three-toed sloth + mousey for somebody in my family. 

    Sherpa Panda for my mom’s winter gift.

    Bro’s penguin and goldfish. Made the functional fishing pole from a chopstick, metallic tape, a bobbin, pony bead and paperclip a couple years ago for fun,  and these two became a crew. 

    Stocking stuffers for my family because youngling me saw skinny stockings as sad. And felt was the only material I really had.

    Peachy the Pear and Peary the Peach- the main characters of my “Fruity Friends”-A drawing of a googly-eyed fruit basket gang. I think these were for my dad? Made Bob the Banana for him a couple years prior to this, but he was lost along the way. RIP Bob. 
    And a first-year-machine-sewn kawaii cone for my mom. I used to be afraid to tie the hand sewing thread knots myself, and I remember covering the plush up and asking my mom to tie off the visible bit. On her own gifts. 
     

    “Uglydolls”, the happy little weirdos. Some were designed to look sort of identical to the actual “Uglydolls” brand, some are custom. (Just learned that there is an Uglydolls movie now that I have not seen, so I feel odd about posting these having no idea what’s it’s about 🙈)
    1: Uglywalrus- Custom critter for walrus-fan bro. 2:Uglydolls “Groody” for bro
    3: Uglydolls “Uglyworm” for bro
    4: Uglydolls “Wage” (custom color) for my dad
    5: Uglydolls Icebat (made from my old fleece sweatshirt) that I kept.  Bionicle icebats?
    6: Custom WinterUgly for my mom. 


    More custom Uglydolls for my bro. Giant (Scoliosis?) Ugly with Velcro pearsnack, and Pixel the Xbox gamer. 

    My bro and I were once obsessed with Giant microbes plushies, prompting me to donate this Plasma to him. Made from my old unsightly dress. 
    And some SCARY first attempt microbes plushies I made for him years before. The sock Fat Cell and the glove Amoeba, complete with hot glued, cabinet-door stopper eyes. 

    Minion plush for bro’s birthday. Made on knitting looms with sewn on felt eyes, details and extremities.

    Platypus plushie for my dad. Made with knitting needles and a loose loom for the main body. Plus a pompom body + felt foot and bill baby duck.

    A happy ragdolly for my mom’s birthday (?). Designed to resemble her favorite childhood doll who once survived a sharpie to the face.

    Mom’s Matryoshka Nesting doll pillow + test subject curtain rag doll I never finished.

    Coral-inspired Martian doll for my mom. And “The Beautiful Pear Bird”-for my brother, designed from his iconic Pear Bird artwork.

    Sphere Squiddies! I stalked Etsy plushies late at night during a severely-sick-insomnia-summer and tried to copy some Octopi. I couldn’t fit eight legs on mine! First lopsidey mustache one bestowed upon bro, last two done later for my mom.
     

    Corduroy Croc. Inspired by this Land Of Nod (questionable name..?) toy magazine that came to our house once with the most magical plush toys in it. Tried to copy the critter using my dad’s old pants. For my bro.

    Bulldog for my dad. Has a red collar I forgot to slide on. 


    Jenny giraffe for my mom. 

     
    Teacup Piggy for Mother’s Day gift.

    Spike our Puggy and Penny, my mom’s favorite former pet in plush form (except the dress!). Both for her.


    Snoopy for my dad, weighted with beads. 

    Blanket stitch goat and painted fabric dog made for doll photo shoots + mini ornament of “scrappy do” -my bro’s childhood Meerkat toy.

     
    Flower with a plastic straw sewn in stem for stability, plush from printed fabric, and blanket stitched doll things (sandwiches, campfires and bears, oh my!)

    Little seed bead clawed skunk and a bun for parents.

    Canvas dogs for Dad. Painted bulldog +beady toes

    Brother’s blue lobster

    Koala-for a parent, which one is not apparent, though.

    Bobbeh- the friendly, enthusiastically southern catfish character concoction of my bro and I. Made for his birthday one year, RIP to the matching Bobbeh card. 

    Krunchy Kronch Donut Dudes! When my bro was in college, he took a game design class and his group created Krunchy Kronch-a 2D game of these ferocious donuts rolling through a city, avoiding obstacles in a Mario World fashion. Recreated the characters in felt for his birthday. Hand painted acrylic and ribbon tags. Made the box from poster board.


    HUNGRY
    A faux suede turtle plush drafted for my dad one Father’s Day or birthday. Bead toes. The  shell is removable and handsewn faux leather. I had no idea one should punch holes in leather prior to sewing and destroyed my digits forcing an ordinary sewing needle through it. This was one of the hardest plush toys I remember doing.

    John Carter Woola drafted for my dad. Tiny teeth.

    Bro’s BB8 + baby robot stocking stuffer. These robros have made an appearance here prior, though.

    Drafting a Dalek was a daring endeavor. Painted eye stock thing, I believe I stabilized the arms and such with a plastic coffee stir/straw. First time using screw-on plush eyes, for the body's bubbly bits.

    Despite the household ban on Pokémon games, my bro fancied Pikachu so I drafted this one. From a tee shirt and felt.

    Wheatley from Portal 2, a plush drafted in the  first summer of “real sewing” with a machine. I studied photos from Google all through the very bad sicknights and this was the result. He is a bit of a flatter sphere shape than intended. His frontal handle things are stabilized with disposable plastic straws. I’ll never forget my bro’s happy face when he saw its lopsided body.  Still, I’d rather run than stay when giving a gift to someone. So frightening to just sit there.

    Felt Kokeshi Momiji doll for my mom.

    Baymax for my brother with an acrylic painted tag. And a quick little Portal 2 dude whose quality I wasn't even proud of at the time.

    Felt Bionicle Jala/Jaller/I still am confused.. made for my bro for Christmas years ago. Stiff felt, non-stiff felt I made firm with glue, sharpie stains, but he didn’t complain ($40 for a McDonald’s toy was an unfathomable fortune…you can buy so many bananas for that...).

     
    And 4ft( ? memory gone at this point ish Adi adipose who appeared here not too long ago! 
    His limbs are bafflingly long compared to those in the TV show. 
     

    Croissant crab crew for my dad.

    And more recent plush designs. 
    A henna based on our dozen hug-hungry Golden Comets. From scraps.

     
      Nursery scrap dolls for our old church and elephant baby toys for some church babies.

     
    Toady! A turtle. A recreation of my favorite lost plushie from years ago (LPS Turtle). A fan of bonnets indeed. Every green creature is a good creature.


    *one eternity later*
    The swarm…

    Scares me to think of how big it would be including the ones dumped on other relatives 🙈

    “Mom remember how you said [insert direct exact quote about group plush photo] years and years ago? I finally did it, thanks for the idea!”
    Her: “Haha, what?”

     
    **tucks them back into a trunk..*
    *...okay.. some didn’t fit.
    How foreign life is from when these shots were snapped four months ago, that day after it began to undeniably unfold. Strange how snapshots hide that you're shaking. How sweet is truth after a life of forced faking. We had to just go. Why won’t the wounded let the tears show? Maybe one day it will be safe to let some stories go. Fright and flight, for we embark upon a new, happy, free life! 
    For I’ve never been so grateful for a sink with running water (instead of a garden hose), a real mattress with sheets (and not a tiny shared air bed), a kitchen, rooms with walls and doors, that hairbrush I thought was lost in the shuffle, not accidentally losing a finger today, shop-vacs, surviving it all over the past four weeks with Covid, and mainly, for the safe and selfless people in this world. Here’s to anyone who is struggling or uprooted in any area.. or every. You are not alone.
    Peace and joy to you all. And thanks to all here who make BZP feel like a home. 
    Off to roam!
    PS:

     
     
  23. Mushy the Mushroom

    125+ hrs: Mothstumes + Mother's Knits ft. Baby Yoda

    By Mushy the Mushroom,


    baby yoda, butterflies and bubbles
    Social butterfly? Not I. Awkward moth? A cut from my same cloth! 
    Costumes, and could not for the life of me concoct a clever cinematic story, much less meet a human to model. Made do, a messy music mashup of perturbing posing, 83 minutes of recording, swapping, screenshotting, and chopping into a 52 second video, then shrinking back to the studio. 
    My mom: “It’s too fast, my eyes!”
    *Contemplates incinerating more seconds off*. 
     

    What's all this? It started with a sweatergift from my mom, the greatest gift ever given unto me for a birthday. Dreaming I ate three giant, gorgeous donuts and rode a bike was a close second. [Reality: 18 months of what would starve any creature with a metabolism, but instead currently uncontrollably gaining weight + an arthritic ambulatory wheelchair user. ] 
    I will gladly goof over donut dreams.
    And If you dress as a donut, do not doubt, I will support the decision.

     
    ♫ They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy
    They can say, they can say we've lost our minds
    I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy
    Runaway to a world that we design
    Every night I lie in bed
    The brightest colours fill my head
    A million dreams are keeping me awake ♫
     
    Back to the sweaterstory!
     "What colors would you like? " 
    Me: *grabs 11 skeins from glorious grandmayarn box* 
    Her: 

     

    https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/childs-knit-crew-neck-pullover Pattern used, combining sizes to accommodate my disproportionately long yet useful arms, designed crop length. Tis her first sweater, and it does contain tears. Even made The Child a matching one! At some point, it struck me that one does indeed need mothwings to wear with confetti sweaters, a set of two would be even better. Rummaged just enough of the right colors from the preexisting hoard, wire was the only thing left to be acquired.  
    My moth model: 

     
    Baking wing beginnings 88hrs for big wings, 25 for the minis. 
     
     

     
    Gingham reinforced cotton strips, sewn at center. Machine basted once ironed in half as a tube, then hand basted with Tex 70 slick thread for neat gathers. I initially sewed my casing tragically slim and completely removed and resewed each piece after sandwiching and spacing. 
    Turned right side out & pressed. 

    Used grandmabasement ribbons for the wing venation. Initially planned to paint them, but this seemed less of a mess. Tracing wheel and vanishing marker for seam guides.  RIP ribbon rations, so not accurate. Spontaneously strewn stripe seams, sort of "quilted" on. 
    Since the ribbon ran dry, tacked in soft yellow yarn down each side of the Child's wingset, then machine "quilted" it.
     
    Eyespots from ribbons, brown cotton, lace and leftover leather seed scales from my pinecone quiver. Handsewn onto each side with blanket stitches, waxed embroidery floss and beads. Wing edge endpoint trimmed with 3/4" sherpa strips cut and stretched on the bias, machine sewn. Multisize bubble beads, each tied on with tan Tex 70 thread, sewing through both sides simultaneously. RIP fingertips. 

    Wire time! Was a tad wide for the casing, crammed in over a few hours.Wrapped the exposed wirewads in 1" strips of PUL fabric and brown knit, anchoring each layer with Fabri-Tac. Tied slender strips of sherpa around the side wire areas, used 1/2 elastic for straps. Extra sherpa tassels to shield the adjustable elastic connectors (AKA safety pins.. *fancy*) 

     

    Video for a feel of structure. 
     Almost forgotten antennae! 2 hrs here. From felt leaf placemats and elastic enveloped in knit tubes. 

     Baby's Mothstume, 9.5 hrs. Fully lined, white opaque lace overlaid with the mesh floral. Four little leg faux sleeves, lined tubes filled with fabric scraps. Handsewn goldthread sherpa neckline trimmed with knit strips.

     

     
    A newold backdrop holder has made things easier, a reject from a closing store. I was running string between closet doors before this, haha.

     

    Guest starring a fine friend whose origin was in a GIF, one here. 
    Brother, browsing blogs: "Look at this thing!”
    *Points to the rainbow assembly of grinning gallopers in GIF bliss*
    Young mush, literally screaming:  "IT'S A HORRIBLE RAINBOW CREEP MONSTER!!!"
    *lifelong bond*

    Sewing, a sock, paint and felt:

    *???*

    Wired up a rainb(orr)ow of circle circular knitting needles (stolen from mom) +secured some skein skypillows. Foamy 'flies still not shy.

    My mom found a clearanced skirt which bore uncanny resemblance to a confetti sweater.
    Her: “Does it actually match?"
    Me :"Probably not, nope! "
    *new favorite outfit*

    Cloudy with a chance of …falling dolls.? 

    B u  b   b    l     e      s 
    Do you ever just look at chewing gum and think "an admirable anchor for props!" ?
    Hope not...
    *guilt*

     
    No human size mothstume, white one from years ago shall do. Leather quiver and headband from an eternity ago, last spring. For it feels wasteful, tools that sit idle. Hope one day an able bodied soul will use the archery thing.

    Sunrise, 8 am, impending equinox, ~45 degrees, barefoot, duckdock. Dear neighbors, my sanity isn’t wholly lost, please don’t call the cops! 
     


     
    "Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again."
    ~C.S. Lewis
     
    .:Medical mystery mishaps:.
    Wheelchair waltzing at 3 am is surprisingly wonderful while wondering if bones are internally shattering.
    It’s been ten years, two severe with searching, blame, and begging. I research restlessly and print papers to pass to them. Wield the med message system as I find myself so often mute, memorize my own medical notes now. I’ve learned some will lie if you allow it. A recent appointment ignited a new interest in my case. Primary care explained that the specialists were stumped and medically at a dead end. I debated, I begged. Everyone cried. Got referrals. Success stings sometimes. 
    That diagnostic procedure/surgery I had in February (SB enteroscopy) is getting repeated in a couple months by my own GI doctor. Because the surgeon imaging reports disagreed, they were out of ideas, and I sent Labcorp guides about what to do when Celiac blood work and biopsies conflict. They actually read it, which I never expected! The January surgeon saw intestinal damage, bleeding + an ulcer but duodenal biopsies were unremarkable. This February one missed the ulcer/lesion, saw no villous damage or the bleeding, and did not take the ordered repeat biopsies.Tattooed my GI tract.That was a bewildering car ride discovery from the photo pamphlet while coming out of anesthesia. I have a TATTOO? Took me over twice as long as expected to wake up from it, nearly wasn’t released due to low blood pressure. The next one will be the 5th diagnostic procedure/surgery in under a year. Endless ultrasounds, ER visits of which I’ve lost count, 3 edible nuclear stuff scans, 3 CTs, 1 PET scan. Bouncing between endocrinology, gastroenterology, neurology, rheumatology, It's dizzying. Consistently “strong positive tTG iga” discovered one year ago this week + other bad bloodwork + systemic wreck + unlikely Celiac genetic test with double negative biopsies = uncharted territory + no one knows if Alpha Gal allergy medically effects people after remission, it’s been exactly 7 years since I was bitten. THE HOSPITAL SOCK HERD IS HEIGHTENING.
    I learned that GI and Rheumatology are actively arguing about which specialist should see me. Outpatient orphan? GI swears it’s autoimmune, Rheumatology thinks it’s intestinal. Meanwhile they keep running Multiple Myeloma tests without telling me, I don’t know why I find this secrecy funny. I suppose I’ve no healthy fear at this point.  Doctors at this hospital are so baffled that they’re sending me to their rival university’s GI hospital people and are pushing genetic referrals, but…For the first time a treatment's being tried!. I’d put aside hoping as a form of coping. And my, how exciting life is when one doesn’t expect a thing!
    It fits the theme of weirdness, wings, and bugs, for I am now on Malaria drugs (Hydroxychloroquine).
     
    “It's not what the world holds for you, it's what you bring to it.”
    ~ L.M. Montgomery
     Grand wishes, goodbye, must fly! 

  24. Mushy the Mushroom
    Hello! Painted this little Totoro in a cartoon style a long while ago (fall?), a style I never do so feels wrong, but wanted a laminated cover for password book. The printer didn’t do so well, but I’m too chicken to laminate the original. I think I used pen too? Can't remember.

    That’s Porg, up there.
     
    Some last-minute ornament friends for my dad’s coworkers. Wonderfully fun waiting room hand-amusement. 3hrs to make each.

    And one for a neighbor + thanku cards from an older (July 2021?) 9x12 pencil. 4.5hrs for 8 cards. 
     
     


    Made a mush! Now I mustn’t wait for yard ones to sprout up. It simply never occurred to me before. Acrylic felt, stuffed with felt in the top, cotton scraps in the body, and I couldn’t find my dad’s steel BBs, so I used an old cabinet knob for a weight. A firm weeble-wobble body, perhaps?  Embroidery floss French knot details, felt face, embroidery body details. Blanket stitch arms. Head and arms attached with embroidery floss “joint” loops, which allow the head and arms to rotate and pose. 6.5hrs for Mush assembly, not sure about the outfit.


    (Real mush was reference/inspiration).
    Low effort from basement lace. Elastic layer skirt and separate beaded top. Tie straps are from braided gold thread and embroidery floss. Belt from beads from a different grandma. Branch wand from more of those + wire. Flowers were premade, then looped into a crown. 

     
     



    Me grandmither gifted this wee ceramic cottage to me. I think she made it, her basement is still filled with molds, unfinished figures, porcelain doll handmade heads, and the old kiln.
    Fabric field and tissue paper sky. Poly-fill pasted clouds. Harvested my foam baby butterflies off the pumpkin. It still hasn’t gone rotten yet. We are a tad frightened.
    Mushy’s Monarch Madness -Stopmotion.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usFFbPEYarM
     

    Made some garland for a *certain something* I’ll show below. And added straps to this bag also.  I was trying to finish it on pre- procedure night, but that did not happen. Pink peonies, pale Anemones, yellow Lisianthus, and gold billy buttons. Flowers from stretch lace, non stretch lace, peony centers from leather and a linen-wrapped wooden bead. Yo-yo mom’s-prom-dress lame for billy buttons. Greenery made by chain stitching two shades of green yarn into a freakishly long rope, doubling it over, then finger-chain stitching it together. Lace leaves tied in, flower wires wrapped to attach. Loosely used these instructions, if you want to plant some too!: https://somethingturquoise.com/?s=Felt+flowers

    Was kindly gifted some grandma’s basement baskets. And a dinosaur head from my dad. XD A photo/stopmotion prop now? 
     
    My mom tried some fancy knitting stitch piece panels. The deer are Fair Isle and this diagonal one. She let me transform into bear wear. And she made this knit “star” but she donated it for turning into a Child collar. Added beads and string tassels.


    Bear wear! My mom asked for a hat and scarf design. Thought process: EWOK BEAR with TOES (claws?)

     
    Her heartfelt handiwork, made in Hoboken Honey yarn. I can never repay her. Pom poms are hard. She made a matching set for Shasta! (I only added the wooden bead toes and tag.)

    Coincidentally, she informed me I needed a new coat around the same time. I don’t like getting premade clothes, it takes my fun out of it and I like to dress weirdly (24/7 skirt and dress obsession-by choice. My mom scorns wearing dresses herself, haha.) But, it also seems wrong to make things for myself and not someone else..even if that someone is a doll. XD. But if she threatens to buy me a store bought outfit, I must indulge! The Khaki+clothesline coat. 42.5 hours for drafting and assembly combined. Had to do a new pattern, because the last one was a bit “off”, on non-transparent paper & lacked notch and seam allowance details. New one on parchment, cut the panels big and sized down, tried on and drafted while I went. My dad’s Khakis -Not because I couldn’t afford fabric, but because using rejects fills me with glee. Two pairs for the outer, one for the inner lining facings. Lining from grandma’s basement satin, underlined/thickened with two layers of old sheets. Hand basted then Interlined for warmth with this old fleece “snuggie” (the famous backwards robe without closures). Hand catch stitched the seam allowances open. Hand top stitch accents done in charcoal Tex 70 upholstery thread in running stitches. 


    POCKETSES


    My first closure idea: That I had to cut off…after I remembered the backpack I made with straps from this cord. It bestowed permanent stains/bleeds from the dark dye.

    So, I made these loops from an old clothesline and khaki strips. Triple tower of buttons to cradle the loops. 


    Convertible collar- Draft reference: https://www.clothingpatterns101.com/convertible-collar.html
    Then I thought about bears wearing tutus and had to follow through…13 hrs. 
    Twirl-fullness stretch lace overskirt made from alternating swatches of “coral dream” from the factory shutdown- this too, is what I used for the flower garland. Alternating lower hem for length and to avoid stripe matching. Handsewn backstitch elastic waistband to prevent machine-munching. Satin underskirt is leftover basement loot from jacket lining. Lace accent hems and French seams on each. 

    *tutu twirling mandatory*
     
    Do you ever bake a bit-batch of cookies to cover your face? Or trudge to the shed side in 30 degree temps after being up all night to chase the sun?
    Or shove a straight-off-the-pinestraw, probably parasitic bird nest into your scarf?

    *has zero explaination besides #ForeverAwkward, needs a model sister*
     

     
    Really messed up my wall with this fence.
    Ridiculous, but life is too delicious to be adorned in attire one doesn’t adore (if you please, that is!). Storybook style, why not? I have an unhealthy lack of fear for peer pressure.
    POV:  Falling wayward on wobbly brace-less legs. 

    What the garden garland is for:
    …My sweet ride. The cheery chariot…A flower cart? Yes. Mine. Not the hospital’s, not borrowed. Shame, insecurity, yet glorious freedom. Got a prescription, but it was taking too long, so this one’s from Amazon. The initial order got lost for weeks, due to holiday shipping..but they then sent one for free, “for the trouble”!? The greatest New Years’ gift I never expected to need. (I am grateful for Tylenol, I was writhing in tears without it a year ago, and I can walk and stand with boned-braces, but meager distances and durations. Untreated severe arthritis pain and weakness via whatever disease.)


     
    Mostly for going shopping/etc, but I’m couchstuck more lately, and been trying it with sewing. I can roll between tables, zip between machines and sit upright without flopping face down at the table every five minutes. Yay! Only tried it in two stores so far. It’s hard to figure out how to unfold the thing from the car. I finally get to use the old rollerskating wrist braces I wasn't ever able to before..as wheeling wrist reinforcements! I apparently went way too fast and was reminded that shortness of breath can be achieved without standing up, haha.  Nobody stared, which was surprising. Thanks, kind peoples! It’s a bit easier to blend when you’re lower than the rest of the world. For that I am thankful, as I ordinarily try to hide from humans under my hats, behind shelves, my family, and dogs.  Removed the unwanted MEDLINE stickers, added webbing accents and lace wheel caps, ribbon, the garden garland, hybrid bag, and covered the back label with crochet square. I am one happy pseudograndma.
    "Hold everything tightly with an open hand"
    -Unknown.
    'Tis all a gift.
     
    Bonus: My grandma, bless her, none of us know how she crams her possessions about so efficiently. She gifted my mom two giant boxes of old yarn in every color. 
    My mom completed these happy-go-lucky-green leg warmers yesterday! Moms rock.  Seven year old me is green-joy-screaming. Green was the only favorite color I ever decided on, probably because I was chronically climbing trees. Now every color is my fancy! What’s yours?

    I have more content but better not rudely crash the blogs with images, haha.

     
    Recent renditions of medical happenings without context/the past months of craziness (if I ever get a diagnosis I’ll fill in the gaps and dump it on the internet for fun somewhere, haha).
    The hospital keeps approving 100% medical financial aid. I am not worthy, they have been most pleasant to this peasant! ;_; <3
    Few weeks ago: SIBO breath test: Positive. “Insurance saved you 2,380+ dollars on this medication”
    Return visit to Endo: *Terror in doctor’s eyes as she gives repeat urgent referral to rheumatology and pushes GI and Neurology* Her Notes: “Can’t wait much longer”.
    Me: *wakes up from whatever random soft spot where I fell asleep at around 4:30 PM on January 3rd. Crawls upstairs*
    *My mom excitedly shouts from below that she got a next-day snow-scare cancellation slot for that more complex GI procedure repeat (she was calling three times/day) of the one that failed in September…and was rescheduled in April*.I didn’t believe it. We departed at 6 am on icy roads, I was suited up with the Pillcam receiver belt and monitor bag, and was under full anesthesia at 10 am, got a deeper EGD with repeat biopsy and endoscopically deployed Pillcam. I awoke sometime later coughing violently and a sore throat that I later discovered was mildly gouged and bleeding.I remember a nurse telling me not to get my neck caught in the hospital bed bars. This was the most difficult awakening from anesthesia so far, we all know I am becoming weaker. Wheelchair ride to the car. I was given instructions to not lie down, sleep or eat until the recording was over (since a camera had been placed into my GI tract these things would affect digestion rate). I didn’t tell them I’d been up since 4:30 the prior evening, there was nothing they could do, haha. So I staggered around the house l until 8pm when the recording was complete, and my mom returned the belt gear the following day.
    They actually found something. Multiple somethings. It didn't fail this time.
    *Seven days later*
    ER adventures. I think I know all the staff there now. They rock, but get that terrified of “oh gosh, we don’t know how to help her” look when I walk in. I feel bad about it. The following is brief, heavily edited, pasted summary of the ER event message I sent to doctors: 
    “On 1/11/2021 at 2:00 am, I began getting extremely itchy chin/jaw hives, my chronic dry facial flushing got redder, and my chin started swelling. Hadn’t ingested food in hours. Symptoms gradually got worse. At 8:30 am, the swelling worsened, my throat became sore and tight/constricted, and my voice got hoarse/crackly.  I arrived at the ER at 9:00 am and was later given a Benadryl IV and nebulized medicine, as I cannot tolerate Prednisone or Epi anymore. I became unable to move, feel my body, or speak a moment after the Benadryl IV.  I tried to talk and the words came out as slurred mumbles. They then administered the nebulizer meds. After a few hours I became conscious and able to move/talk again, and was discharged. My limbs were still numb walking out, then my body went completely limp/numb and I collapsed in the exit foyer. Someone lifted me into a wheelchair, we stayed in the waiting room for about 20 more minutes, then used a wheelchair to get to our car and went home. My hands are still numb/have decreased sensation.
No past adverse reactions to Benadryl. 
I did not/cannot use my Epi-pen, as it worsened the unexplained anaphylaxis/type reaction in November 2020, and since in December 2020 the local dental anesthesia Epi caused me to convulse, provoked severe dry facial flushing, gasping/throat constriction, and I momentarily collapsed.  Epi always stopped my anaphylactic food reactions in the years when I had food allergies, so this is quite odd. I no longer have any food allergies. This is my second episode of unexplained anaphylaxis/type reaction since I became very systematically ill in 2020. My allergist also ruled out mast-cell reactions with a h1/h2 trial.
    I am so glad this happened. Why? Some doctors… they sometimes try to withhold information when they are unable to solve “Zebra” cases. I’ve had to repeatedly dig up my own imaging and lab results and push for things they…neglected to tell me about. This ER trip, coupled with being forced to confront unmentioned, potentially serious medical issues found in the one-week-prior EDG + capsule imaging reports convinced my GI doctor to order a needed, even more complex investigatory procedure. What a timely ER trip, something that I will give thanks for all my days! This one’s scheduled in late June, or maybe, if there is a cancellation, sometime soon. (I do feel bad though, my mom worries and I just blind trust.)  I do not mind either way, I have my year planned out, haha. It’s been awesome so far! Last year I didn’t even have a primary care doctor!  Wishing worlds of well to any all who actually read this far. Hope it brought some amusement, haha?
    Thanks all, that's all. May your day be extraordinary!
    Also It's snowing here, right now! And this splendid occasion is something to celebrate! and, here's a picture of a puppy. It's from the card pack that I stole the pre-made envelopes from. I love him far more than I should.

     
     
     
  25. Mushy the Mushroom
    Feels so fine to frolic about in this fresh format! 

     
    Bugging my family. Pencil on tiny 3x4 watercolor paper, then laminated. As you may spot, I do not excel in matching the inner card decor to the outer. The predicament of buying primary colored card stock.



     “.. Loved the World” -9x12. 
    Isn't it great, this place? The people? So many caring faces here on earth. I love each and every one of you, dear humankind.

    “What About Us/Medical Zebras.”. 9x12 pencil on watercolor paper.
    That song so often echoed through the halls while I rolled through the hospital years ago, before being discharged sick & undiagnosed. Started this one around September, after a doctor’s appointment where I somehow refrained from slipping away in tears. Fear freezes, I suppose. Almost dismissed from all further GI tests due to unknown disease etiology and a new doctor not checking past medical history. I feel terrible about how my body & blood work is frustrating some of them so. Then there is the guilt of having other doctors look at you holding back tears because you're crashing and currently unfixable. How grateful I am for all who are kind and genuinely try to help! Trials to smiles.

     
    An extraordinary, too-giving-for-this-world neighborfriend gave me a giant basket she made herself. Out of the blue. Elated about using it for photography in the coming days. It’s so beautiful that I nearly shrieked. How can you ever thank someone enough when they are this generous? I can’t even form words!
    …So I’ll attempt to draw them instead? Perplexing trying to figure out what to draw for people when they don’t have social media photos. Dog owner+gardener+basket-er+wished for a granddaughter but never got one= ?
    “Cherry Summers” 9x12 pencil & mechanical pencil on watercolor paper. Tried real art pencils for the first time (Thanks store-going-Grandma, I was oblivious to their existence! Also now waiting for art fixative spray to arrive, a new discovery here in Hermitlandia.) 


    People: You must be into what’s in style, care about current fashion and like shopping since you design your own clothes.
    Me: ….actually…iiii…uuuhhhh…

    My mom gave me pajamas for gutting- made with fabric she dubbed “too fancy for sleeping”. 
    9hrs for human. 3hrs for The Child size.
    Had to add handsewn buttonholes and more buttons in between. Switched out for black. Elastic- threaded bias neckline. Fully lined The Child’s coat with black knit. 
    Before/during disection:
    Pajama dissection theme continued, so turned the insanely insulating pajama pants into sweatshirts. Partially just to see if it was possible. Not the finest fabrics. Contrast lines to hide seaming. French seams and stuff.
     

     
     
    My first Chia Child/Pet- a Christmas gift from my aunt. Someone unintentionally mold-infected the first seeds with hasty watering. Take two, back from the dead. The satchel looked like a hot air balloon basket when not leaf-overtaken (I promise) so this happened. 
    *old people arthritis gloves*

     
    And my mom knitted more leg warmers! Pixelated effect from multicolor yarn.
    *purple party of three*

     
    My mom’s “boring” sweater cardigan she let me loose on. Adjustable drawstring. Lazy daisy, blanket and running stitch. 18.5 hrs. 

    EDIT: Sorry, I just noticed the bit in the 2nd post of BZP's rules about spoiler tags I missed. Sorry for using them a lot.
    Smallthings scattered across the internet in other places.
     
     A LEGO love letter to Nannerpuss - Denny’s 2009 Super Bowl Commercial star. Sorry for stealing your audio Denny’s, I tried contacting x3 and I promise it wasn't a prank. The actual commercial: https://youtu.be/Gdu3hQVVDD8
     
    OH SNAPS, VIDEO EMBEDDING WORKS? YAY!
    *Now feels better about not having to link to three-second-unworthy-to-click videos. The embeds are so biiiig though, makes me feel guilty about using the feature.*
     
     


    Do you want to build a…?

     
    Brick Roll done for the member-made emote topic. (Details on creating over there.)
    http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/31948-member-made-bzp-emote-gallery-library/?do=findComment&comment=1201808
     
    Hewki/Huki(?)and Macku/Maku(?). Not my best work, but hey, next time!?
    (Not sure which is accurate for the Mctoran form). 
     
     
    Terrible things happen when your dad always has these around. Rinds in my mind. 
    Also *Me just gleefully using this as a repository for oldish rubbish.*

    Ceramic houses made by my grandma & crochet square from neighborfriend. Tissue paper roses that have magically stayed intact since 2017!

     
    Up & away,
    May you enjoy your day!
     
     
     
     
     
     
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