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Bionicle Hitman


Alex Humva

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Well, you could...

  1. Drop a piano on their head
  2. Hide a bomb in the piano
  3. Open the piano, put them inside and crush them with the lid
  4. Hid a gas canister inside rigged so it releases deadly gas when they play it
  5. Hide inside the piano and jump out and kill them
  6. Force them to eat a mini piano
  7. Force them to eat a bunch of mini pianos
  8. Force them to eat a poisonous mini piano
  9. Crush them in a pile of mini pianos
  10. Digitize them into Super Mario 64 and make them get eaten by the Killer Piano
  11. Drop them onto a piano from a high height.
  12. If you were very big, you could pick up a piano and throw it at them
  13. You could force off a piano key and stab them with it
  14. You could force a bunch of piano keys down their throats
  15. You could hide a pistol inside a piano
  16. You could hide a rifle inside a piano
  17. You could hide a tommy gun inside a piano
  18. You could hide a flamethrower inside a piano
  19. You could hide a bazooka inside a piano
  20. You could hide... well, any type of weapon, really
  21. You could use telekinesis to throw a piano at them
  22. You could drop a piano on them. A flaming piano
  23. You could tie them to a piano. And drop it on someone else's head
  24. You could hide poison inside the piano. They play a key, triggering the poison, and then they start coughing, which makes a Gun fire, which makes them fall backwards into a Knife. The impact makes a sledgehammer fall onto their head, which pushes their head into wire, which contracts, making their head go flying off. The head flies into a Motion-Sensor Bomb, which makes the place explode.
  25. You could overuse a joke about pianos so much that the joke gets old, and their heads explode from the ensuring boredom.

You get the idea. There's a lot. :evilgrin:

Edited by Regenerated ShadowVezon

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"Master of Shadows and Game-running Compliants, Ǝɹsɐʇz Ԁᴉɹɐʞɐ ᴉu qlɐɔʞ' No˙ 999, Vezon of the Twighlight"

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Hello all. I am so incredibly sorry that I didn't get this out last night as promised. My business over the weekend took a bit longer than expected.


Round 3 Summary

The third day of the Assassin Olympics was going along swimmingly. The sun was shining, the snow was glistening, and the local morgue had been cleaned up, ready for new residents to be interned.


Aegon Targaryen had gotten up early to enjoy an invigorating judo session, a hearty protein shake, and a lively meet-and-greet with some of his die-hard fans. Eager fans were lined up to meet the renowned Olympian.


"Would you mind signing this for me? I've been dying to get your autograph!" said a breathless fan, whose face was obscured by an Aegon Targaryen Fathead.


"Sure," Aegon shrugged, taking the piece of paper. As he mindlessly scribbled down his signature, his eyes happened to notice an unfortunate sentence at the top: Wanted: Dead or Alive. His autographing hand froze and he looked up just in time to absorb a rocket-blast to the face. Protalgif removed the Fathead and, with the aid of a grappling hook, escaped the horde of traumatized fans.


The bounty hunter chuckled, crossing another name off of his hit list. As he rounded a corner in the hotel in which Aegon had been having his meet-and-greet, his nose detected an auspicious aroma. "Hmm... vanilla... with a hint of lemon..." he murmured as he walked, wondering from whence the smell was wafting. He got his answer a moment later, as Voltex's cake-hammer came flying out of nowhere and collided with his face. Protalgif went limp, his life ended in arguably one of the most delicious ways possible.


Voltex picked up his hammer, leaving Protalgif's crushed, cake-plastered corpse in the hotel hallway. He headed back to his hotel room to retrieve his favorite suit coat, as he had an exclusive interview with GQ later that afternoon as a part of their Olympics coverage. Walking into the room, he poured himself a shot of Shadowhawk-brand bourbon and took a moment to observe the breathtaking view out of the vista window of his suite.


As his eyes gazed at the shimmering Odinan skyline, he noticed an anomaly amongst the clouds. Namely, a helicopter, carting a strange piece of cargo. As the chopper approached, Voltex was able to make out the large piece of cargo dangling from its underbelly: a grand piano. The chopper dove towards his window, and, at the last second, pulled up, snapping the cord and sending the piano hurtling through the glass into Voltex's room. Voltex was barely able to dive out of the way as the ensuing eruption of ebony, ivory and mahogany littered his suite with debris.


Voltex stood up, brushing the dust off his dirtied suit coat. "Well, that was odd," he mused. As he stood there pondering why on earth an assassin would use a helicopter to sling a piano through a window, he heard a strange beeping sound. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to hide before the bomb which had been hidden in the piano exploded, engulfing the entire suite in flame. A satisfied Unit watched from his helicopter. "There was probably a more efficient way to do that," Unit mused as he piloted away from the scene of the crime.


As Unit was mentally assessing how he could streamline his assassination processes in the future, he suddenly found it hard to focus. His vision had become blurry, and he was having a hard time forming coherent thounghksihherns. That's when he realized that he had a crowbar protruding from his skull. Unit had just enough time to look at his co-pilot's seat to see ShadowVezon sitting there, a diabolical grin plastered on his wild face, before he lost all consciousness and plummeted to his death. Vezon had just enough time to jump out of the chopper and pull his chute before the helicopter collided with the ground in a colossal explosion.


In another part of town, Baltarc, Blade, and Pulsating Explosive were having a competition to see who could withstand the most hits to the face with a sledgehammer. Baltarc went first and, despite being weakened by Lhikevikk, managed to endure a full-frontal sledgehammer attack to the skull from Pulsating Explosive. Woozily taking his own sledgehammer, Baltarc swung it with all of his might at Blade's head, eviscerating his cranium into a gory mess with the consistency of oatmel. Baltarc then turned to Pulse. "Your turn," he grinned madly, advancing on Pulse with sledgehammer outstretched. Pulse turned and ran away as the sun began to set on the third day of the Assassin Olympics.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tl;dr: Aegon Targaryen, Protalgif, Voltex, Unit and Blade are dead. Baltarc, JiMing, Pulsating Explosive, ShadowVezon and the Dapper Man remain. Round 4 starts now and will end Wednesday at 11:30pm.

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