Steal the Mask 3

[Onaku]

Unfortunately, it turns out the ShadowVezon you were throwing the mask to was actually me in disguise. Thanks for the mask, sucker!

 

My mask.

[Dane-gerous]

I turn around and shoot an exploding lemon in your face. I then use my grapple hook to grab the mask, and I pick it up and throw it to the REAL SV.

My mask.

Edited March 6, 2015 by Sharkydane

[Onaku]

It then turns out that he's not actually there. It's a hologram. ShadowVezon is actually not present at the moment, please try again at a later time. Meanwhile, I have a right good time at rigging you with some implosions, which detonate the moment I get out of their range, holding the mask.

 

My mask.

[Dane-gerous]

AHA! But that was not the only me! I jump out from an alternate dimension, with a telescopic eyepiece and a laser rifle. The laser on the rifle makes it's way casually through your brains. 

My mask.

[Onaku]

But my brains aren't actually my weakness. I took care of that problem long ago. So now, with a laser-burnt hole in my head, I walk up to you and brutally beat you to death with a club covered in razor blades.

 

My mask.

[Dane-gerous]

I come back to life and eat you. 

My mask.

[Onaku]

I destroy you from within. I do, how ever, stay in your stomach. My unique physiology means your stomach acids are good for my skin.

 

My mask.

[Dane-gerous]

Unfortunately for you, I can regenerate.

My mask.

[Guest]

Unfortunately for you, so can I.

 

My mask.

[Onaku]

Unfortunately for you, me thr... no, wait, sorry. I can't regenerate. But what I can do is rig you dinguses with an antimatter implosion device that should go off about... now. I am of course standing at a safe distance.

 

My mask.

Edited March 6, 2015 by Toa Onaku

[Guest]

I teleport them onto your face just as you press the button. Bye bye.

 

My mask.

[Grungemeister]

I politely ask for the mask and you give it to me.

 

My mask.

[Onaku]

I politely punch you in the face, and you give it to me. And by give it to me, I mean drop dead and drop the mask, allowing me to pick it up.

 

My mask.

[Guest]

You're a decoy. So is your mask.

 

My decoy.

[Onaku]

I proceed to telling you the story of how I became a rhinoceros on page 13. You are disgusted, appalled, and in the end receive a heart-attack intense enough that your rib cage blows open. And no, I'm not in the way of said exploding rib cage. I walk away with the mask, a glass of water in my hand. It's already poisoned, so don't bother.

 

My mask.

[McNugget]

I copyright the phrase "My Mask" and then sue you all, you are all in prison, and I GET THE MASK!

 

My mask 

[Onaku]

I bring the case to court, and convince everyone through impeccable evidence, as well as obvious logic, that claiming copyright on those two words simply cannot be legal. You are promptly put into service of scrubbing all the floors of some philanthropist's mansion.

 

My mask.

[Grungemeister]

I avoid the copyright trap through clever loopholes, such as changing the product slightly.

 

The faceplate belongs to me.

[McNugget]

YEah, well I loop a hole through your face using my scrub brush, 

 

My Mask

[Grungemeister]

Your brush has E. Coli and you get sick. While you're hospitalized, I make an under the table deal with your relatives and they will me the mask.

 

My mask.

[Onaku]

I bring back a thousand dead and buried plot points from previous pages. The amount of references you don't get makes your head hurt, and I trade you painkillers for the mask.

 

My mask.

[McNugget]

I ease the Pain and then Take off your head, I then trade you your head for the Mask

 

My mask

[Onaku]

I kidnap you, and replace all of your bodily fluids with a substance known as "liquid death". What happens when you wake up is not something that can (or should) be conveyed in words on this website.

 

My mask.

[Grungemeister]

You decide to convey, in words, what happens. You are suspended by a mod, and in the meantime, I look after the mask.

 

My mask.

[Onaku]

The mod then realizes that I was actually just written to have done that by you, and that I never actually did it. You are promptly removed from society and put into an insane asylum. Why? Because I broke laws to make it seem like you were an unstable and insane individual.

 

My mask.

[Guest]

I use my ribs as sickles and slice you to death.

 

My mask.

[McNugget]

I walk up in a clever disguise

 

My mask 

[Grungemeister]

I break out of the insane asylum. I pay a hobo to undo the straitjacket and tackle you.

 

My mask. 

[Jonathan Crane]

I pump you full with so much fear toxin you go straight back to the asylum

 

my mask

[Toru Nui]

I chew off your leg.

 

My Mask and Leg.

Edited March 7, 2015 by Toru Nui

[Dane-gerous]

I eat you. With my sharp fangs.

My mask.

[Makuta Miras]

I eat you. With my blunt fangs.

My mask.

[Dane-gerous]

I detonate a lemon in your insides. While you burn, I grab the mask and run off.

My mask.

[Onaku]

I drop a crate of combustible lemons on you. They promptly blow up in a massive ball of fire after I throw a lit mach into the crate.

 

My mask.

[Dane-gerous]

I control lemons, fool. I walk out, undamaged, shooting you in the face with an AWP.

I believe that mask belongs to me. My mask.

[Onaku]

Well then I drop a crate of combustible LIMES on you instead. A sudden lightning strike takes care of lighting them on fire, and promptly blowing you to kingdom come.

 

My mask.

[Volatile]

You get caught in your own explosion

 

My mask

[Onaku]

I survive. You, how ever, are ground into meat dust and bone meal.

 

My mask.

[Toa Smoke Monster]

I teleport you to the bottom of the ocean.

 

My Mask.

[Onaku]

Whoo boy, time to take a ShadowVezon on this one. 

 

On the bottom of the ocean, I created two lifeforms. These were the first mer-people. And mind you, this was three thousand years ago, since I had traveled into the past due to reasons. They swam off, and some years later, the mer-people population started to rise. Some decades later, the mer-population had reached the size of a small town. They'd already established a civilization off the shore of an undisclosed island, and they named this settlement Atlantis.

 

The mer-people's unique physiology allowed them to walk the land just as easily as they traversed the sea, which eventually led to them establishing civilization on land as well as in sea. Their territory grew and expanded, and soon enough, they were one of the largest powers known to man. But naught was recorded of their place in history, for the Atlanteans confiscated all records and writings that involved them, and stored them away in their own libraries.

 

It is unknown how they disappeared from the face of the Earth, but regardless, two-thousand years ago, no trace was to be found of the ancient civilization of Atlantis. They were gone, forgotten, and eventually, any knowledge of their existence faded into nothing more than myth.

 

Returning to the present, I now swim to the secret last settlement of the mer-people; the lost city of Atlantis. There, I rouse them to gather their vast yet secret resources, and put them into use for conquering the surface world once more. They are hesitant at first, but I manage to convince them, and eventually, the Atlanteans declare war on the surface world, and start a long and bloody conquest of every continent and island on the planet.

 

Eventually, they reach your location, and without any warning, they cut you down along with everyone else, collecting the mask for their monarch to see. The monarch then gives me the mask, per agreement that we made due to my role in inspiring them.

 

The Atlanteans now rule the world, and I have the mask. Or as we always say in the shorter posts: My mask.

Edited March 7, 2015 by Toa Onaku