The Corrupt-A-Wish Game!

[Kopakas Kool Kompanion]

Granted. You are given a nice big bear hug. The bear proceeds to eat you.

 

I wish for the Cabbage Man from Avatar to live a happy life.

[Resentful Knight Endolf]

Granted, but you live a terribly sad life.

I wish that the floor wasn't lava.

[Kopakas Kool Kompanion]

Granted. The walls are lava. The floor is acid. And the ceiling is caving in.

 

I wish for another wish.

[tahukan]

Granted, this wish, however, is granted randomly at a random point in your life which you have no control over, you live your life wracked with fear that you'll say I wish and it'll come true, you eventually get married and have two bright, wonderful kids. The wish fades to the back of your mind it's not till years later while hanging out with some buddies that you let slip those two words, those words you've held back for years, those words that have been so removed from your vocabulary that it wasn't even thought about anymore. The edgy joke leaves your lips before and you're aware instantly of what just happened, nothing happens. Maybe you got lucky and it wasn't granted. You look back at the TV screen in front of you, unaware of the thundering sound behind you, a man at the age of 129 had just died and you'd foolishly said "I wish that were me" you meant it as a joke, you wanted to live a long life like him. The thundering grows louder, it's a car. The wall comes down behind you. You turn quickly. in the split second before you die everything slows down, your spouse and two kids, are in the car, their faces share your look of terror, and then, there was nothing, just black but even that wasn't processable.

 

I wish I had the skills to put together a cute winter outfit.

[Kopakas Kool Kompanion]

Granted. You dress in a perfect winter outfit. In the middle of summer. And die from heat exhaustion.

 

I wish summer wasn't SO. DARN. HOT.

[tahukan]

Granted, it's frigid.

 

I wish more people played Warframe.

[ToaTImeLord]

Granted everyone is at war.

 

I wish for sarcasm.

[tahukan]

Granted, every single thing you say sounds sarcastic, you're just lovely at funerals.

 

I wish for some quality content.

[Resentful Knight Endolf]

Granted, but it's from Keemstar.

I wish for an interdimensional best buddy.

[tahukan]

Granted, "H-hey come on Lan w-w-we *Burps* got some stuff to do. Let's g-go *Burps*"  Your interdimensional buddy is Rick Sanchez.

 

I wish for the coming apocalypse to be prevented.

[Resentful Knight Endolf]

Granted, but the real apocalypse comes.  The Justice League can't save you from that.

I wish that people would just be nice to people for a change.

[bizfig]

People are too nice to you and give you tons of things you don’t want.

I wish I didn’t slip.

[Toa Jaxus]

You don't slip, and because of it you never meet your one true love as they don't have a chance to slip up by them and meet up in Rom-Com style.

 

I wish for an end to man-made climate change.

[ToaTImeLord]

Granted it's dinosaurs made.

They finally got there revenge!

 

 

I wish for a German Squid.

[Resentful Knight Endolf]

Granted, but German Squid tastes terrible.

I wish for a suit of Destiny armor in real life.

[PutYaGunsOn]

There exists a single real-life suit of Destiny armor. It's just way too small to ever fit you.

 

I wish I could turn into any Transformer I wanted.

[ToaTImeLord]

Granted but when you transform you return to being a human.

 

I wish to be a Senator right now.

[Resentful Knight Endolf]

Granted.  You're a senator of the Galactic Senate, who gets disposed of by the Emperor.

I wish for the ability to make good custom BIONICLE torsos.

[ToaTImeLord]

Granted but they fell apart because you used like green joints.

 

I wish for more activity on BZP.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

Granted. But it then becomes too populated and the meagre servers can't handle it and it ends witht he site beign shut down due to expenses and we all ahve to move splintered Facebook pages.

 

I wish I had my Palaiologos T-shirt already.

[Resentful Knight Endolf]

Granted, but it's two sizes too small.

I wish that stores would start selling Christmas stuff just in December.

[ToaTImeLord]

Granted they sell Christmas themed stuff only on Christmas.

Good luck getting those candy canes now.

 

I wish I was more confident my Bionicle score is good enough publishing.

Edited December 4, 2017 by Rassilon (TTL)

[Tahu3.0]

Granted, but you get immediately sucked into a dimension in witch Bionicle never existed and we had Voodoo Heads instead.

 

I wish for a micro SD card with infinite memory.

[ToaTImeLord]

Granted it's a micro Black hole it just collapsed in on itself. Its gone now.

 

I wish for people to stop acting stupid.

[Resentful Knight Endolf]

Granted, but people start acting like insufferable know-it-alls instead.

I wish I could make good original characters.

[ToaTImeLord]

Granted there all named Chad.

 

I wish for money!

[Toa Imrukii]

Granted, you get 7 denars.

 

I wish to post art.

[Resentful Knight Endolf]

Granted.  You post the word "art."

I wish for some friends to play Destiny with.

[Kopakas Kool Kompanion]

Granted. Due to a bug, if you die in the game, you die in real life. So much for your friends. And you.

 

I wish I had more thyme on my hands.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

Granted, but you become allergic to it in the process.

 

I wish it was Tuesday already.

[Kopakas Kool Kompanion]

Granted, except now it's Sunday too. Skipped most of the week there... Welp, as they say, Tuesday's Gone.

 

I wish Lynyrd Skynyrd had more good songs.

Edited January 21, 2018 by Kopakas Kool Kompanion

[Resentful Knight Endolf]

Granted, but they get overplayed to the point where everyone's sick of them.

I wish that these giant jalapenos would get away from my fridge.

[Toa Jaxus]

They now live in your mouth.

 

I wish to have the ability to see the future.

[ToaTImeLord]

Granted but your future vision has a handicap. You can only see what has recently just happen.

You are basically padparadscha f r on Steven Universe now.

 

I wish for more time for my book report.

[Toa Jaxus]

Fine, you get insomnia until the end of the school year.

 

I wish for a Cadillacs and dinosaur remake.

[Resentful Knight Endolf]

Granted, but it stinks.

I wish that my reputation remained unsmeared.

[fox&rabbit]

Granted, but because your reputation is so good, you attract a bunch of fake friends who lie to you.

 

I wish I could travel to see all of my old friends.

[PutYaGunsOn]

You end up traveling halfway around the globe to see a movie called "All Of My Old Friends". It sucked. Hard. You can't get a refund, and you're now in a country you had zero interest in visiting.

 

I wish for a nice hot bowl of noodles.

[Resentful Knight Endolf]

Granted, but they're poisoned.

I wish I knew what love is.

[fox&rabbit]

Granted, but what love is so bad that you never want it in your life again.

 

I wish for an end to all of the stress in my life.